The battle begins - and who is this we are fighting??
Knights of the Night
252_DnD_5E_Your_Thighs_Enhance_with_Magic
[music] Hello and welcome to Night to the Night Actual Play podcast. This D&D 5th edition adventure, Heart of Flame, was written and run by your DM mic and now please enjoy episode 252, titled "Your Thighs Enhanced with Magic." Actual play begins immediately. [music] This is Mike, your Dungeon Master for the Heart of Flame campaign, starting on my right is... I am Jim Playan, Theoden of the Runehammer Clan, Fighter, Mountain Door, Family Man, Architect, a person who needs things with hammers. I respect that. Bob playing Gillig, a Ranger of Torm. Tom playing Dally, a Level 3 steampunk sorcerer and tinkerer, adopted daughter of Thurl Runehammer and displaced refugee living in Rockfallen. I've got playing Dane Roonhammer, 3rd Level Paladin of Torm, Stion to the Runehammer Clan. Thomas playing Barrow Ironhoath, a fighter of the Runehammer Clan. John playing Kirth, a Mischievous Illusionist and Orphan Dwarf. I think you're also playing, who are you playing today? I can't be my boss who hates me and me, who hates him. Come on, I want to see those actin' shops, bring it out. And I'm playing Vantesh Bodeck, because he's a super cool priest of Torm, who's a pretty cool dude and worships Torm, unlike his board, who I am also playing. I hate me. There you go. Let me hit I. Okay, so from the last time, everyone across the board got 250 experience points. That should mean everyone should at least have gotten to Level 4. We're going to dive kind of right in. I ever test these golems to make sure they work. The golems that pull the wagons or the shield guardians. The ones I had before these new ones came around. I tried to program them to respond to one of my illusions, to try to put it out, smash it. I don't think. Well, let's see, yes. Okay. Why? Sure, why not? But you have to create a specific illusion. And what is that specific illusion going to be? How about it being Green Fire? I don't know if Dragon's Breeper and Fire, what do you think? I think I hope that we don't see any dragons. Well, that's great, but I need to plan. I can't cope, I need to plan. So you have written a command into the simple instructions of the clay on the golem to Thresh? Well, I mean, why not do something simplistically? A target. Multi-circular, something that doesn't exist in nature. Hit that. Yes, the golems will amble over again when they are not meant for speed or the agility of fighting. Mostly they're clogging the hallway and kind of look like broken statues. I wanted to get the drop the first time I used them on these guys. So there's only two golems that we're dealing with. Is there any use and daily trying to beef them up to do more damage? You've been really good at improving dingle hoppers designs, so if you want to go look at that thing, these are dingle hoppers designs. Everything? They're do-higgies. Whatever dingle hoppers. I have no respect for the men. You don't like them either. Pork is inferior. My name's much better. It is part of my background that she thinks every other tinkerer is inferior, and that she can do better. That's why I'm being such a dick about it. Okay. I was saying that it would work, but less effective for mine only once. That I can actually construct things without doing with his inferior material, that'll do much better. For a quick and dirty improvement, you can probably find plenty of material, old brospos, or the shrapnel from the previous attack, and either spike out the golems, or put them on their arms, or whatever. So you can improve their combat ability. Right. Dally knowing that, you know, Kurt has not shown any great combat prowess, and that he'll probably be using these as his weapons. I would probably try to make them more efficient. I would say it takes you an hour to gather the materials and implement your design for both golems. I will ask you to roll that whatever you're using for your tinkering. I have a tinkering of plus five. I'll give you advantage on this because of the successes you've had previously, and the materials you have on hand, see how well you can provide it. Would you like me to use the magic wild dice? It's not really a spell, but... Not at this point. With an advantage, Dally rolls... 20. Oh wow, great. 15 plus five. Still, you've gotten the 20. So, could you please roll one die four for me? I rolled a three. Great. Dally has found a way to increase the damage by three to all of the golems' attacks. There you go, Kurt, you're welcome. Dally was able to improve the estimated damage output by 50%. But it will only last probably for this night. Most of the citizens, the civilians who are exhausted from their... What they've endured for the past week. And I'm trying to find the fire, not to mention this horror, and also the scariest that is returning. They are going to be back in the safety of the other caverns for now, although they do not want to go back to the safe room where they had to trap for so long. And unless otherwise directed the emissary, Sir Reginald and his four guardsmen will serve as a reserve unit guarding them. I like that plan, but Dally's in no way competent in battles. Right. So, I'm just kind of giving you the word... This position of people are the main defense of this, if anything happens, will fall to mainly your group of dwarves. Attached Bodak makes sure that there is a signal that, if they absolutely need backup, the humans will come. Who's the... What's the civilian? The civilian. Something gorgeous. Okay. Something a dragon tongue can produce. Okay. As the sun drops below the rim of the mountains, a deep shadow falls over the farmstead. The clear night sky is punctuated by streaks of color and flashes of light. The air is prickly with magic. All too close for comfort, you begin to hear the bead of orc drums. In the shadowy force below, you hear the tread of heavy boots, rough voices, and the snapping and swimming branches and wood. The wind shifts and you gag at the port's attention to death and decay. An odd, almost greenish mist rises up from the forest. Do you believe anyone in the woods? Yes, there were... Varyla, who was the ranger chicken hide that Gila knew about. She was coordinating her activities in the woods with the spider clan. How well would these woods burn? At this time of year, spring? Probably badly. It would not naturally burn well. But if you have a means of accelerating the fire or using magic, you might be able to set the woods in the woods. It's just a thought. These guys are in there probably going to do some gorilla fighting. I want to turn down their cover. No, we're not going out there. Right. Also, fuck. I'm in a wall. So I would like Gellic to roll a 20-sided check for his experience with these orbs. I'm sorry. He's heard these drums before. They're the more drums that usually the orbs play before they attack. And with his experience dealing with them, he might be able to interpret what the drums might signify. So I'm going to see how well he can detect that. If you would do, it would be your survival or whatever bonus you have for your survival or your favorite enemy bonus. How much time has passed since we arrived here till now? I would say just in several hours. Three or less. Four or less? I would say about four. Okay. That's fine. It's not full night yet. But I only ask because Daley hasn't made you on my last keyed hours. If you put it down before coming here. So with a favorite enemy, I get advantage on wisdom for survival checks. Oh, then the bonus to an advantage roll with wisdom check for intelligence checks to recall information about them. So it would be more intelligence service. Which is your survival? Survival would be. And why don't you use that for your advantage roll? It'd be as plus three. Okay. Nine. Nine. Well, just right now, there's just the beat of drums. And the only thing you know about that is this is how they begin to gather and rally. You suspect that within the next hour or two, those woods are going to, whatever orcs or with the near shot of these drums are going to be. Because they're not here already, they're on their way. I let everyone know that a attack might be. Imminent? Yeah, within the hour or so. Okay. Along with a take to alley to transfer the magic from the one item to another. There was one thing that we discovered in one of our very first encounters. There was a magic item that he can't really use and wants his transferred to something that was a battle axe. Right. So there was a magical battle battle axe. You didn't have access to like a forge or the materials that you had. Which, but you do have access to those here. Well, actually it depends on what your role. I don't have a magic item. So that was my magic item, the ability to do that. All right. So you are basically taking the magic or repurposing it from one to the other. How about this? Well, it's set a goal. I'll try to roll it. If I don't make it, I have to use a spot. Okay. How's that? Okay. Now the forges, unfortunately, since they have not been really tended, while you do have access to the forges, they need to be kindled. Unless you want to just try and do it purely through magical ritual. It only does have fireball, which is a cantrip, zero, which says it ignites things that it hits. It does one nice 10 damage, flammable objects hit by it are ignited. Except if they're being worn or carried. This option is trying to start a fire. Oh, yeah. Oh, then it's a cantrip so it doesn't cross everything. So I wouldn't even make your role for that. So she ignites the forage, gets that cooking. And because of the nature of the magic, it heats up faster than normal stoking of fire wood. So before long, it's starting to get warm in there. The forage is hot. And you are now looking at the battle acts and whatever what's the hammer. And the hammer. So you want to move the enchantment from the acts to the hammer. Right. Okay. Roll your dice. That would be a 15. Potentially plus two for my tinkering tools, if you think that applies. So you begin the process. It's a little bit harder than you thought at first, but it's going to take a little more time. And so you're going to be occupied for the next 15 minutes doing that. I'll come back to you. So now, while she's working on it, you have access to neither the hammer or the right grand axe. Okay. The drums get louder. The odor. The stench that is being carried on the breeze is really awful. And for the soldiers in the group, you have smelled this kind of rock before. It is the odor of a battlefield. That's why they left. Don't want to get on dead and come back. Yes, yes, I think. Given that they were crayons, they took off. And orcs were killed. And orcs were killed. So Barrow has shared his views and it kind of rings true. In fact, I'll give you inspiration for that almost exact assessment. So after that, a little moment we're going to just try to wrap up with Dally again. Dally, you will have a second roll here. Nice. Eighteen. All right. So she has lifted the enchantment from the axe. You are manipulating the magic. And now you will be able to apply it with your next tent. So another 15 minutes go by. Where exactly are the Halfling forces? Stalking in the woods right now, waiting for either an opportunity or a signal. So I would consider them as a harassing force, a gorilla force, and also maybe an emergency reserve. But right now they function best in stealth. Alvin is also standing there kind of in the courtyard. He has given orders to his constructs. He's advanced combat goals, if you will. Half of them are deployed up on the slopes of the terrace from above, trying to protect up on the mountainside. So that leaves about two at each gate, another two which are milling the courtyard. Dally, let's go to your final application. This roll will determine whether you need to use your magic to make it adhered, or do you have any inspiration that you want to spend on your weapon working? I think I have any. Okay. So would I have anything written down that I had? Because this is die 20. This could be dangerous. You should have had inspiration after the... Yeah, but I'm about to fight a battle. I'm not going to use it on his hammer. So that would be 17. You just barely are able to transfer and get a success. In fact, you're kind of like when you're heading... That's my best work. Well, you kind of look at it like, look, you were rushed. There's a lot of tension. There's something in the air that's kind of throwing you off. And as you hand the now enchanted hammer, and I believe the bonus was... Plus one. Plus one? You're kind of like... And to get over, hopefully you won't have to use this. It's probably at the crossbow that somebody gave me out. Yep. And there's also, there was... I think I said there were enough weapons that you could salvage. So anyone who does want a crossbow. Oh, it's true. They were all over the place. That's all good. I have enough hands for that. Barely. Okay. So your golems now have like, the spears on each of their hands that they could punch people with. I didn't put that in there. I did. I modded up. You were listening. No. Yes. Dally modded the golems, but with melee attack, not with range. Oh, well. Correct. They don't shoot out. I know there's a bunch of crossbows. Not too smart. They're like, only I have more time. So you're the crossbows of melee weapons. Just... With an engine. No. They're not this smart, but they look awesome now. You hear the sound amongst the four drums that have been going on for about an hour and an hour. You can work in strange lights. And you have streaks of color, or kind of coursing through the air. This is very almost electric with the power that is kind of ebbing and flowing on the mountainside tonight. You hear the sound of something large, heavy wings flying in the air. But I surprised nobody looked perfectly. Another illusion you bastard. So emerging from the miss around the forest, flying at treetop level, you see approaching the defensive wall. You see a large reptilian creature flying at treetop level. And as it approaches the gate, it back wings and lands its claws digging into the earth right at the edge of the plateau in front of the main gate. And on the back of this creature, actually everyone do a quick little... I just want to get like... I know what a dragon looks like. Yeah, this isn't a... Well, it is a type of... It's a dragon-like creature. That's why you would know this. It's called a wiper. These are smaller dragons, but they're fast and they're vicious. Before we go any further, tell me where everybody is. We would be near the front porch. Okay, day to night. Gilly would probably be outside somewhere. So the main gate looks like it's the most defensible place. Is that what we're saying? There are other defensible places, but we have a gate. It's not wasted. Theiden had spent his time quickly re-fortifying the gate. It's not up to its original standards, but it's better than the main part. It's closed, be barred, and it's going to slow them down again. Aside from water over the wall, it's probably the quickest and easiest way for them to gain access to the lawn. And interior of the courtyard is a knock the gates down again. Yes, right. The general plan was to hold the gate as long as we can, fall back to a place where we could trap them, as they tried to come in. I'll be at the gate then. Lower them into the middle one and then hit them from either side, something like that. Okay, when we heard the flapping and the screeching, I'm probably running to the gate. Okay, so the new walls take up position in the courtyard in front of the main gate. Not on the walls, or do you want to get out there? Um, not probably going to be on the wall. Okay, that's closest to the way as well, since Daley does range as well. Okay. Gelly, you're going to be higher up in the back or do you want to be up front on the wall? I'll be up front on the wall. Okay, great. Dean, where would you like to be? I would like to be, literally, on the ground, right inside the front gate. Okay, Barrow? You want back up. Barrow would have asked beforehand when I saw you were taking in the defensive position. It's easier. I think they're going to bang in the gate in an aisle. I'll try to hold that line. And if anyone wants me down, they're great. If they don't, then defend it where you will. Barrow's back up. He's with, uh... Once they hit the gate, Mike plans to... You join Mike, buddy. Okay. Who would like to be within 30 feet of the gate? Dally? Dally needs to have his spell's work. And that's what he'd be elsewhere. Of course, I'm not concerned about... I mean, in the sense of this spell, because it's an offensive spell, and you're probably not going to be doing too much damage, I would assume. Your golems are doing your damage. Right. As the moment's getting close at hand, I like to cast a blessed spell, if I might. Oh, great. That seems normal. Whenever a target, which is you guys, the three of you who are within range, makes an attack roll or a saving roll before the spell ends, the target can roll a die four and add the number rolled to the attack or setting throw. So you may choose to add an additional die four to any roll you make up to one minute, which is 10 turns of this combat. Since we haven't started combat yet, how about this? Who sets the trigger throw in there? Yeah. If it becomes a combat situation, since we haven't won yet... 10 turns because then? That it starts? Yeah, then it starts, and then that would be the option if something needs to go a different direction. Sure. Okay. And that's just because we haven't really started anything. I don't want to have the clock come against you. Thank you. You may decide to take a different attack. So, the Wyvern has landed at the very edge of that flat space. This is a large dragon creature that he's riding, and he speaks with a voice that is magically enhanced to be loud and kind of disguising his voice. This is a person on the Wyvern or the Wyvern itself. The person on the Wyvern. Okay, sorry. Who he says... We would parlay with the human emissary. Yeah, so maybe with more attacks, I fuck you, he's not in charge. Anyone got that attacked? I got it. The crossbow bolt. The answer. That's a attack. Put a attack on the side. Hold on. That's precious. Who was our... Yeah, who's our negotiator? Well, that's... Is that a wisdom movement? Christmas, okay. Well, I got a 14-14. Go ahead. No, I'm not saying I need to do it. I'm just saying I've got a 14-14, and what are we going to be using to... Parlay? Parlay Christmas? Christmas. Okay, so I've got a 14. Anybody got a better than 14? 15, but it's still plus two. Yeah, what about clearance? Sorry. No, no problem, I don't believe it. Clear as you got 12. All right. So, I looked at Vantech because Vantech has been the leader throughout this, and I would not step into this role without his approval. Any way if you want. Earth. Magical and hamsthat should. It's good. But his voice booms back, bitch. Okay. Do you need to expend any magic slots or anything? It's a cantor. I'd like to make loud noises. He says again, "We will only give you one chance. Bring forth the emissary so we would speak, or we could do what we'd set out to do before, and then zeradicate every living soul." That thing you failed to do? Is that what you say? No. Because she doesn't have ample blood voice. Or she could. Well, she just says, "Very hype-ish, to do what we mean." And then the brooming paladin says, "We will give no one to you. You will have one chance to turn now, and spare your lives. Otherwise, you will meet death upon the battlefield." Actually, they just want to talk to you, but they don't want us to. I don't care. I'm not bringing anyone out here. Dude, it's not even in charge. I don't know where everyone is. No, no civilians are allowed to come out here and face this creature. A wiper. No, the guy riding in death. "You look at him. He appears to be a dwarf." "He'll lose and just play that trick." "But he's wearing car on robes, and he's wearing a mask but his stature and his shape suggested he is a dwarf." "He's wearing robes and a mask." When the stench started approaching, and before these guys went for their loud noise, shouting at each other, I snuck outside the gate and spread those ball bearings again into the grass. "I don't know why I wouldn't." "Yeah, I mean nothing." "I had ball bearings and I had nothing to do for a long time." "So you found this advantageous terrain, slower movement." "Okay, so that followed us up in the last battle. He's just, and I told everyone this time, there's ball bearings out there. Wait for them to get in here." "I think it's less effective in grass, maybe." "Maybe, but do you see anything else going around here?" "What you're saying is that you've made the terrain on the plateau difficult three." "Just around the gate. I don't have that many ball bearings." "Okay." "So while they're trying to break through it a little hard time." "Is that fair then, is it as difficult terrain?" "Sure, dang." "Is it possible that the humans aren't who they say they are?" "Anything is a possibility, but I choose not to parlay with undead hordes led by a wyvern riding, masked villain or court of orcs." "There's orcs." "And if these humans should not be who they say they are or what they say they are, then we will bring them forth the justice on our terms in rock fall." "Do we have people watching the civilians besides the humans?" "There was an able-bodied militia of dwarves, at least four of them, right?" "Maybe." "They're with the civilians?" "Yeah." "Alright, I'm less worried." "That held iron belts." "The iron belts." "They're a war." "The wyvern's creatures and the man says enjoy your choices." "And the wyvern flats and flies up and returns away from the zowfine ways." "And usually." "Okay, so he's flying to the wyvern's flying house?" "I thought that was our biggest doom." "Okay, I'll deal with you later." "I want to shoot." "He flies to the south?" "He is now turning and flying south back over the trees and disappearing to the mist." "Alright." "A few moments pass after the wyvern has disappeared." "Stay ready." "There's drums." "Suddenly stop, and you hear a cheering roar of orc voices echo across the mountain tops." "I would like everybody to roll initiative for me." "We're both counting." "An eight." "That's right, I made you right the eight at the top." "I'm gonna roll shitter now." "I'm done with your life." "No, you are." "Go, girl." "Bar rolled to continue his streak of terrible initiative rolls." "It won." "Come on." "It's right there." "You're like the most laconic fighter ever like." "But we're gonna give them the first shot no matter what." "No, come to me, I can take it." "Just add to us. Just text add." "Yes." "Dane rolled, excuse me, a nine." "Great." "Dally." "12." "Gellig." "Seven." "Wow." "Okay, I did bad." "It gives us a chance to react to their movements." "We're dwarves, that elves." "Right." "15." "15." "15, all right, and then..." "One of us is awake." "14." "Okay, 14." "You hear the screeching of the wyvern coming in for an attack pass out of the darkness." "It is going after who is on the top of the wall right now." "Dally and..." "No, you were..." "I'm on the ground, but did you say like as if they were approaching I could do the it's three creatures." "If you said you were on the wall, too." "Right." "So I'll put Gellig inside, I'm not being fine." "It only does three people. This build us three." "Is that a range thing? It's three individuals." "I thought it was 30." "Dane chooses..." "Got you." "You are not chosen." "Sorry, Gellig, I'm all out." "No, I gotta have things for Gellig." "Because why would you need extra net of deer to hit roll?" "I gotta do that." "I have a roll, awesome drone." "Dally is out of school." "So what's going to happen is the..." "Mysterious..." "Well, we're going to call him a servant." "Writing upon the wyvern..." "Is going to make a range attack against one of three people." "And he goes for Thaden." "A bolt of lightning comes from an extended staff." "Would you do this?" "17." "And the lightning bolt shatters against the defenses." "Kicks up stone." "And the wyvern, as it's passing by..." "The tail?" "Geez." "Claw and tail both go for Thaden." "Sorry." "And that's a hit with your claw." "And that stinger tail lashes down." "I think that catches..." "The claw, the hit you, is a slashing impact." "So you, on an actor, are going to take half damage for whatever this is." "Damn it." "Nice." "So, of course, make good armor." "Let me do." "And you end up with five points of damage from that attack." "Can the tail..." "So the stinger grazes you and causes seven points of piercing damage." "And now you must also make a saving throw to which you have an advantage." "So two die 20 and you get to roll out of die four to either one of those rolls if you don't succeed." "So..." "Alright, you save." "Even with the save, though, you get hit with some poison." "So wait, you take half damage because you saved and you take half damage again because you have resistance." "It goes to five, it goes so actually you only take four points of poison damage." "You actually poisoned it." "You were tough, but now you can attack at Thaden." "It has to warp blood on the hammer." "Yeah." "It hasn't flown away from you yet." "Is the rider still on it?" "Yes." "Cool." "So the wiper came in for a high speed pass." "And even though it's the bolt and it's focusing on Thaden..." "I'm just gonna try to hit him with the hammer." "I'd roll the 14." "Alright, so that should be a 20 for you, so you hit it." "Now roll your damage." "You have plus four from strength, right?" "Yes, I roll the four plus..." "Alright, so..." "If you roll the one or two, you have to reroll." "Nine." "Vantache." "You've seen above you the wiper and lash out at Thaden." "And heard him refresh my memory where you were starting. Were you down by the gate?" "And we're in the forearm parts, so it's to get a better view when we..." "I want a blind either the rider or the wiper." "I would say the wiper and that's great." "I agree, absolutely." "Okay, great." "Talk him up." "But he makes like a constitution savings term. I'm gonna say a wiper and it's a better constitution than the wiper just thinking." "I don't know about that." "I don't know about that either." "Okay, well I didn't need to ask the wiper for that, so..." "You argued." "Sure good to follow though, I think it requires a touch." "Uh, now range 30 feet." "Well, okay." "There's a vocal component, so this is..." "Okay." "Darkness is envelopium or something." "What the fuck?" "And it's just cubic parts." "And then one creature you can see within range must make a constitution savings term." "Okay, so spell save DC is 13." "14 now." "Yeah, 14." "He got +1 wisdom to do that." "How do you level up?" "So according, so it's a constitution attack?" "Yeah, huh." "Alright, so Vantash casts a spell of blindness upon the wiper." "A blinded creature can't see automatically fails any ability checks." "And attack rolls against this creature out of advantage and any attack rolls it makes have this advantage." "Well, it's good to know." "The wiper saves and doesn't..." "That was a pretty easy save too, right?" "That blows me ass." "Alright, so now..." "He says strike it while it's blind." "Excellent." "That's my best uncle Michael." "A blinded." "Alright, that's Dally." "Where is the wiper in conjunction with the gate?" "It is passing over the gate right now, so it was able to claw and lash out of Faden." "If I were to cast a 5x5 cube, would it affect people on the ground and the wiper?" "He's up in the hands, up in the hand." "Okay." "Then I'll save that." "However, I've seen the nasty little creature on the back of this thing casting spells." "So I pull out my little net gun and fire." "It wraps around the rider on the back and pins him in place." "Hold person on the other way." "It holds him to the dragon?" "It holds him unable to move, do cast anything." "So if the dragon on the other way, he just floats there in the air." "No, it holds him to the dragon." "Wisdom saving spell, or paralyzed." "Okay, what is your safety seat?" "I would be 16." "Alright." "It barely wraps around him. Describe what whole person does it just immobilizes?" "Paralizes." "Paralizes, important to know." "A paralyzed creature is incapacitated, which is a whole other condition they want me to read." "The creature automatically fails strength and deck saving throws." "I'm just going to hand this to you." "Attack rolls made against this creature have advantage." "Any attack that hits this creature is a critical, if it is within five feet of the creature." "Get up on the dragon and get up on it." "Alright, well then it's good to know, so maybe the completed creature cannot take actions or reactions." "Does it fall off?" "That's why you gotta determine here." "Man, a blind flying thing paralyzed." "You hear this on?" "Ahhh, you're a kirk, dammit!" "As this uh, net wraps them up, and the wyvern screeches and is flying off in the original direction, it was going, which is veering up, it's heading for a basic amount inside, and it's flying." "Dane." "Yes, I have a shield in one hand, and I have the javelin of heart-seeker and the other." "Right." "And heart-seeker seeks the heart of the bastard dwarf, who is riding on the wyvern, who cannot defend himself and gives me advantage, so I bend one knee, adjust upwards, and thrust the javelin through the air as the wyvern starts to go upwards, leaving the back of the dwarf in perfect profile against the moonlight." "Sorry, the heart through the back." "Yes, I rolled a 17." "That's a hit." "Wow!" "A 11." "That's an action." "Wait." "And his heart starts to shrivel, and it's..." "Three sizes, that's a chest, shrunk three times, something." "It's an opposite." "And I screws." "It starts to suck a lot." "I take a free action, and it reappears in my hand." "I've done them." "That's my turn." "That's my turn." "That's my turn, maybe I'll do that." "I thunder strike his smite his ass." "No, no, no, no." "You've already..." "Oh, I get to." "Why is it a free action?" "God, I believe so." "I will." "Sue's sure." "Not refurther." "I seriously mean I'm not sure." "Is that not me?" "I'm an English bitch." "Sue's right there." "Sue's right there." "Sue's right there." "Is that mean sucker?" "Thunder smite." "What?" "Are you a WWF, Russ?" "I am." "No." "I'm holding my... "Oh, I'm sure." "Tone." "It's too much AC/DC." "Thunder smite." "Does it surprise you to..." "It is a bonus action." "Oh, okay, it's a bonus action." "The voice can't go that high anymore." "No, you're right." "The first time you hit with a melee weapon attack, "during this fell's duration..." "No, I didn't mean that weapon to go." "Oh, yeah, I don't do that." "It could have been." "He just slammed dunked it into the dude. "He jumped 30 feet in the air." "You have to yell, "This is Sparta." "I mean that." "See, because it would have knocked him off, "and then he would have fell on his back." "He took damage, paralyzed, "and then he would have... "Gonna grab!" "Well, let's keep that in mind, "because there's one of the opportunities there." "For Kubera?" "This is the initiative." "Are you going to move or do anything?" "I have some bonus actions I can do, "but I choose not to. "I choose to save them "for when the truth right arrives." "So, curve your up." "Hit a pole." "All right, where's Barra?" "I'm on the ground." "I'm standing in front of the gate. "What are you supposed to walk in?" "All right, Kurt tops down off the wall." "He shows." "And coaches Barra." "Okay, and says, "I heard you want to kill Dragon." "Oh, now you can jump like a maniac." "That's a great reason." "I got a spell called "Jump." "It's really in your name." "Jumps of the name." "You touch a creature, "the creature's distance for jumping is tripled." "Now I need to look up jumping." "For a minute." "All right." "How high can a dwarf jump?" "So you have a fun one." "You went from one inch to three." "Awesome!" "How high off the ground is the wyvern." "Your wyvern right now is about 30 feet off the ground." "So his head is 30 feet off the ground, "his tail is 20 feet off the ground." "We're going to take a set of them." "I guess what's the when you try to-" "So then he was going up." "So I'm just trying to get if he was really going up, "is his tail reachable?" "Because he can jump 20 feet in the air." "Oh, I see what you're training." "Now, 21 feet." "21 feet in the air." "And with his extension of his arms, "and the weapon, he would be-" "Stooped fucking important." "Yeah, so I guess it's just, "is he flat at 30 feet or is he up right?" "How about when your trick comes, we'll talk about this." "Yeah." "Okay." "27 feet at full extension is my jump length, "without rolling for additional jump height." "Oh, you need to roll for a additional jump." "I have advantage." "Take him right off." "Fucking stupid." "So, so as a minor action, "I cast Hunter's Mark, "and I mark him, "which means I do extra damage." "Right, so you mark your enemy?" "Yes." "That's like a free action for you?" "It's a minor action, "so I cast that spell and take action." "In the last, uh, an hour." "I don't cross as well." "He's going to live that long." "Real-time fuck." "I'm going to shoot him by crossbow." "No, he's." "Right, you're advantaged." "Well, two by 20." "Yeah, I am." "He's blinded." "He's blinded." "Well, not just blinded, "he's paralyzed." "No, that guy's not blinded." "He's shooting the wiper, "no, I'm shooting the wiper." "Oh, I apologize." "Okay." "He draws a bead of a guy." "Oh, that's funny." "Natural 20 bitches." "I know what a good voice, "is that a super n-?" "No, it's not, I was only one, "so it's not a good voice today." "Well, that's a critical hit." "And Max's double damage for a critical hit." "Sure, what's double damage you do?" "I do." "Good job." "So it's a diet 10, so it's 10, 10." "20." "He's damaged?" "He was already damaged, yeah." "Okay, so I do an additional diet eight. "I have a ranger ability "that allows me to do extra damage "any time I take a target that is already damaged." "Yeah, and he's marked, "so that's a diet six, "clossest layer is the ranger ability." "God, well done." "So 20 plus what?" "A diet eight and a diet six, "and I roll the four and four, "so it's additionally eight damage." "So, plus your magic is nine, "so you just hit the guy for 29 points of damage." "But because the guy is wrapped in a net "and can't take any type of actions or reactions "or stabilize himself, "you knock him off the back of the wiver, "and he falls plummeting 30 feet into the courtyard." "To the courtyard below, "like a sack of rotten potatoes." "How much damage is a 30-foot fall?" "One day six times 30." "It's maxed, because he created it." "Stop with a double max." "A double super max." "I mean, yeah, okay, roll." "Oh, it is." "Fourteen falling damage." "All right, so he takes another, "how much falling damage?" "That was 49." "Fourteen, yes." "There's a QCC so." "It doesn't matter, you don't know if he's "liver dead because he's wrapped in the foot." "Right." "He blends like a sack of potatoes." "All his organs come out of his mouth and we're like, "Yeah, he did." "He's like, 'I missed the fucking fight. "Everyone's dead already.'" "You feel perfect, how do you cut his tail?" "You feel perfect." "You jump on and ride it." "I'm gonna kill it." "For those guys on plans." "You felt curved tap you on the shoulder, "give you magic, you feel your vibes, "enhance with magic." "The light and the air is all kind of sparkly, "like I said, with chaotic magic." "So explain what you're gonna do." "I'm gonna jump up and grab this dragon "and then I'm gonna, I don't know, kill it right." "So, and then we'll figure out "when he gets on through all of this." "So as the blinded wyvern is flapping away "and it's just lost its master, "and it's the tail with the poisonous sting "around the end of it, "is flashing and lashing around. "You are going to take a running leap." "Auto its tail." "And try to air Jordan your way." "I think he fucking parked course. "He goes like off the side of the--" "I'm okay with this." "The side of the--" "We'll first see what happens." "Okay, so yeah, there's a super optimistic view of how--" "Hey, turn to attack, you're gonna grab onto it." "I want to get on draft." "So this is an ability check." "If I have more time afterwards, "I might attack it, but I don't think I do." "I'm gonna call that this is an athletics check." "They're gonna name this move after me." "I have a total of plus six for athletics." "I don't know if I have advantage, "but I'm spending my inspiration. "I am blessed." "Wait, inspiration I give you, "Savior inspiration is all it does is give you an advantage." "Do I have advantage or anything?" "Yes, he says he'll blend it." "Let's just go with it." "I'm rolling athletics plus six, two dice. "They both fucking suck." "Plus another four." "Two." "Twelve." "Twelve." "I was really fucking great at doing that." "Can I give you an inspiration for your re-roll?" "No, that's not yours." "Yeah, that would be really cool." "Cimatically, that would have been a re-roll, but--" "What are you gonna do?" "The dice just aren't with you tonight." "I know." "But it just sounds like it'd be a lot more fun." "If you want him to succeed, don't make him roll." "Just say it works." "I'm so down for him." "Alright, can you so let me be clear?" "If you want to, you can grab a hold of the poison, a stinger." "Oh yes." "I am resistant and I have advantage against saving store." "Barrow does not give a shit about poison." "When he's in human towns, he eats scorpions to impress ladies." "For him." "So he is going to grab this dragon." "So you use your magic to jump?" "Thank you, by the way." "You cartwheel through the sky." "Well, through the sky." "That's really crazy." "On to the sewer and he's like--" "For a dwarf, you got air." "I'm attached to it by the eye socket. Give me a--" "Give me a--" "There might be some question whether you've impaled yourself on the stinger." "Or whether you've grabbed a hold of it." "Barrow, as far as Barrow's concern, when the story is told, he doesn't establish how." "Okay, I caught the dragon." "You caught the tail, caught the wyvern's tail." "And they're all like, you want to have a due damage?" "Fuck you." "Just pick the roll for diamonds." "That's fine." "Yeah, it should be automatic damage." "I mean, I failed." "Just give me a--" "What I'm going to do is, it's because it wasn't-- you weren't attacked by it." "So, you're not going to get piercing damage for it." "I'm going to give you a contact poison damage." "Not because it was injected into you, but you've grabbed a hold of it." "The poison--" "I'm just going to have you do a--" "Again, you have a-- you have advantage to saves and advantage or resistance to poison." "So--" "I choose, in fairness, to autofail, the passive check and I'll--" "There's resistance for the damage because--" "No matter what, we always resist damage with poison." "Right." "And you--" "One die four--" "I caught myself on it using its skewer. That's how I succeeded." "That's fine." "So, just be the DC-15 constitution check." "Okay." "Two constitution, two proficiency bonus." "8 total of 12 plus one die four and a plus one die four." "Sure, one last." "One 13." "13." "13." "You had to be-- you had to be at 15." "That's fine." "So, you got full damage, then you take half damage." "Fairyed out of this is 12." "You take 12 poison damage." "Fairy used as his action surge because he can." "Of course the action surge." "He gives an additional action once per long rest." "If I can't attack it, given that I don't have both my hands, I'm going to climb up more thoroughly under his back." "I'm not getting him ripped off its tail later. I'm going to climb more thoroughly on his back." "Right, you can try to action into a poor movement." "Right, I would say you have a choice. I would say that you can hold on with one hand and attack it with the other, so you can take a knife or if you have a hand axe." "I'm going to climb up into the saddle and then use both my hands for my hammer when I bash its skull in." "Okay, so what you're doing now is your action surge is you're going to climb up the wyvern's tail and try to get into the saddle." "The saddle." "So, I'm going to say that is an athletics check where you're going to have to climb. A flying wyvern's wyvern. Will I get me a dash?" "Alright, I'm spending my inspiration because I don't want to fail." "Alright, so you need to... I've got a number in mine." "I'm going to say that this is a hard task. It's the DC of 20." "Okay, ooh nice." "So, do whatever you have to do. You have the advantage." "He is blessed. Does he get to add a fork?" "He is still blessed. He is. And we will see what happens next time." "Thank you for listening to Knights of the Night Actual Play podcast. If you'd like to send us questions, comments, or feedback you can reach us in a number of ways. From Twitter @KOTN_podcast or by email feedback@KOTNpodcast.com and don't forget the iTunes reviews or our Facebook page Facebook.com/KOTN.podcast. Speaking of Facebook, join like-minded folks at our Facebook fan page. And lastly, there's our blog page KOTNpodcast.com where there's an Amazon link on the right-hand side. Thanks to Zen Audio Smith for the intro and outro music. Get your own music at zenaudiosmith.com. And join us next week for more mystery and adventure. [Music]