FM Talk 1065 Podcasts
Jolene Roxbury Variety Hour 8-09-24
The following broadcast is "Rocky Live" and "In Color" I don't want to hear no more of that goofy talk Children are talking, all you got do is be a good listener Popular radio entertainment for the masses Sweet Jesus, please let this work Celebrate Yes! It's time to have some friend He's a good child on the way Yes, it's time to laugh and sing Time to brighten up y'all's game We got your lean up in the house And the rock's beretly is on the way Jolene, it's mama! If somebody had bear with you It's time to have some friend There's a good time on the way It's time to laugh and sing Time to brighten up y'all's game We got Jolene up in her house And the rock's beretly is on the way ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ ♪♪ Shake it with your shake it with your shake it with your shake it That's my favorite! You know that's my favorite bump of music And you haven't been playing it, John, look at me You haven't been playing it, I don't know if you guys are keeping it from me Or what you're doing, you know, whenever I say I like something It gets discontinued or it disappears Oh, well, I'm not going to complain It's been a really good week I hope it has been for you guys If not, then let's see what we can do to fix that And help you have a light heart for even just a little while My name's Jolene Roxbury And on behalf of the rock's berry players, I'm so glad All of us are glad that you are taking us along with you No matter where you are, whatever you happen to be getting yourself up to We are happy to be along for the ride, and that's the truth Because when you are with us, you serve as a buffer Amongst all of us unbalanced folks Sometimes we get on each other's nerves And speaking of that, Earl T Has been working all week, it is back to school time So he's been working all week on a segment Okay, so, I guess here we go We're going to kick this off John, go ahead, cue it up I don't know what it's going to sound like Let's just, let's go I'll be surprised or shocked together Up in the morning and out to school The teacher is teaching the golden rule American history and practical man You study him hard, open the pan Work and your fingers right down with the phone Hey, yeah man, this is girl T with the back to school Tip dude, this is tip number This is the first one, Earl, we've just started the show Yeah, one Okay, remind your kid that he or she or he or he or he? Yeah, let me jump ahead a little bit for you here One problem, a couple of my girlfriends are having Their children are starting school for the first time You know, first day of first grade And they're a little bit nervous And it helps the children to know that they're not the only ones A lot of other kids are nervous Having butterflies and such And the teachers are there to help them out Teachers know that students are uptight They'll make an extra effort to make sure everyone feels this Comfortable, comfortable, as cool as possible And I'm guessing you're doing your part too Your old buddy, your old T's gonna help them out By visiting every school I can during this for a few weeks With some special homemade stress reducer dude Grandma cooked it up all summer, man To make sure she'd have it ready by the time school started Is for everybody, students, teachers, principals, janitors No, no, no, no, no, no, you're not You're not making any kind of home cooked, home brew, home grown, anything And you're certainly not distributing it to anyone Earl, why do you do this to me? It's so early in the show Hey, before you call in or do anything with any more of these updates The school tips, don't give anyone any more tips Until you run 'em by me, John, even Reggie, Bill, or Jim, okay? Y'all, okay, I'll be back with more later, whoa, peace out Mmm, yeah, Earl, we'll be waiting for that Pardon me, my voice is not cooperating this week We've just been very, very busy, you know, in addition to the show We do a lot of production for radio stations all across the country We do radio commercials for folks and we've just been very busy Back to school is a very busy time, fall is a busy time for folks and everybody One of their stuff yesterday, and I was talking, talking, talking, talking, so I wore myself slap out We have not heard from this lady in quite a while Which has been, I'll have to say, a good thing I mean, I've enjoyed the break Greetings, dear Hey, Martha, everybody, it's our very own Martha Stewart How you doing, Martha? I'm splendid, and you, I'm fantastic Uh-huh, since the kids are going back to school, it has me thinking about fall It's welcome at my house, it's just been so darn hot Now, I know you must have some things going on, preparing for the season, as it were Well, dear, as you know, one of my favorite things to do on a Saturday Is to spend a few hours gathered round the back end of a sport utility vehicle Throwing back a few cold ones with my buds Uh, you mean tailgating? What do you mean, buds? You got buds? Actually, it's just the security crew from the network parking garage Oh, and they wanted to hang out with you? I told them there was free beer Oh, hold up, girl Coming through, coming through Hi, y'all Let's get ready to cook something yummy You got my microphone ready Oh, and Paula Deane, sorta Let's get right to it You know, a tailgating party wouldn't be complete without Sovereign fried chicken nuggets Roasted lamb Beer battered onion rinds Poached eggs, smoked salmon Pigs in a blanket, yummy Spinach and brie chicken with tomato orzu Seven-layer taco day up yum And no pregame party is complete without portobello, broccoli, and red pepper melts More than how about some good old creamy down-home southern coleslaw? No, today we'll be preparing bok choy carrot and apple flaw Bok choy, ain't he a rapper? Little bok choy No, it's little bao wao Oh, that's right, he grew up and he was just bao wao I remember Right, do you mind? All right, is it difficult to prepare? If you have 20 minutes, even an idiot can prepare this Probably a good thing For this recipe, you will need Four to six heads of baby bok choy Also known as Chinese white cabbage One teaspoon of coarse salt Unpeeled apple cut into matchsticks Two large shredded carrots Three tablespoons fresh lemon juice One tablespoon vegetable oil One teaspoon finely grated peeled fresh ginger And of course ground black pepper All right, we're going to half the baby bok choy Lengthwise Rinsed under cold water to remove the grip How about some cheese grit? Shut up Cut crosswise into thin strips Plate in a large colander I've got colander This vintage porcelain colander Belonged to my great-grandmother Don't care and sprinkle with coarse salt Toss to coat Top with a plate that fits inside the colander This blue-ridge crab apple plate Belonged to my great-ant birthday in a bit With heavy objects such as a skillet or canned goods In a large bowl, it makes apple carrots Lemon juice, vegetable oil, and peeled fresh ginger Add bok choy Season with coarse salt and ground pepper and toss Martha, you've got a top flour Don't you care if anybody can understand you? Not really And before you know it, your tailgate Will be the envy of all the other people at the match Um, that'd be a football game The game? Whatever Okay Talk with you soon, dear Thanks, Martha Ah, looking forward to that? Aren't we? Guests of the Jolene Roxbury variety Hour stay at that big fancy hotel downtown The rest of us stay at the Motel 3 A way she never has any guests I know school starts at different times around the country But I'd say you're right about now Everybody's probably getting close to being back in You know, when school time rolls around I tend to get into that hall closet And start organizing You know, during the summer All the kids are in and out of it They're throwing stuff I try to keep a stock of things Like shampoo, T.P. You know, there's some things I like to keep on hand Things I always tend to run out of Or rather, somebody takes the last one Without telling mom But the one thing I like to do at the end of the summer I go through the towels And Jim, do you do any of the laundry at your house? Do you do your share? Okay And my husband does But he's not as selective As I am about, you know The towels that actually go back into the hall closet He would keep a towel Until there's nothing left of it Just like he does it underwear that way too Years ago, I started dating his underwear for freshness I take his Sharpie And right on the waistband The date they were purchased Because the man will wear them Until there's nothing left, okay? Anyway, the towels If it's got strings hanging from it And it looks like it's been Oh, in a crack house It's time for it to go But if I want something to go away permanently I have to put it in the car And take it away Like I'm relocating a family of raccoons Or something Because my husband Will go into the outside trash can And look through what it is I've thrown away He did that a couple of weeks ago I got tired of looking at all these torn up towels They were not fit to give away, okay? And of course, what's the typical man response? I can use those out in the garage, right? Right? Yeah, well, we've got two huge boxes Of rags and old socks and stuff Everything he's dug out of the trash Dust rags I'll go buy you some dust rags Bless his heart This portion of the Jolene Roxbury variety hour Is brought to you by Hannah's Banana Cabana You get everything banana Banana putting banana splits The banana's gonna show Banana lemma CDs You can even get a can of Hannah's Banana Santana bandana Rosanne Rosanna Dana Vanna White Manna Don't monkey around elsewhere Hey Hannah's a monkey Hannah's Banana Cabana Where the bananas have appeal This is Mandy Snow with your ultimate traffic watch Wow, busy out there today I'm so gonna be late for my statistics class this morning Dude, I'm driving up on something now It's a total wreck Check me out I'm driving this fishing band Woohoo Hey, ever wake up in the morning With somebody you don't know And they're really gross Get down to the Midtown Clinic Ask for their $99 special If it's burning healing or popping It's probably not good Ask for Mr. Williams Tell him Mandy sent you I'm Mandy Snow with your ultimate traffic watch If you haven't already done so You need to download the FMTalk 1065 app To your phone That way you don't have to miss any of your favorite shows Including this one FMTalk has them all Right there under the podcast tab Yepers, you don't have to miss anything You might have glazed over during the week Or something you may want to hear again Hey, we're taking a short break Don't you go anywhere? We'll be right back The julene rock spirit for ride an hour This is Jolene's mother With a very important message From Naaman's catering Naaman's delicious menu to go Have you heard about it? Seasoned to perfection and ready to cook meats Like spare ribs, pork loin Mediterranean chicken breasts Large lump crab cakes Bacon wrapped stuffed shrimp Even fried and barbecued chicken Delicious soups like broccoli cheese Tomato bisque Delicious seafood gumbo You can buy all those by the gallon All sorts of party trays Salads by the pound like chicken Tuna Check out Naaman's catering Delicious and convenient To go menu at Naaman's catering.com Ta-da! The julene rock spirit for ride an hour Welcome back to the show Jolene Roxbury here Thanks for tuning in And spending a little time with us this weekend Some of your precious Me time And um I'm just getting things together On the cooking segment Cleaning up a little bit I don't know why But Aunt Belle is not here What? I don't care if Earl is on the phone I am irritated I don't like it when these guys Do these last minute no shows Hey Earl, what is it? Hey, can we just do Belle's kitchen remotely? You know like from where we are? Like like over the phone? No, we've done that before And it sounds like crap Can't you patch us through Like they're doing all the TV shows And everything Heh heh heh heh No, we're not doing that Why not? Because I don't want to do it that way That's why That's an answer Because I don't want to Alex here, we're just gonna do the cooking sec You and Alex can't do Belle's kitchen without Belle, man That'd be like the Jolene Roxbury show without Jolene Whoa, haters and ideas Really, you better check yourself, little man If it weren't for the show, you would not have a job Are you listening to me? What? Why do I even try? Where is Belle? Where is she? That's what I just asked you Where is she? Are you loaded? Where is Belle? She might be able to tell me If she had a particular recipe lined up for Alex to do Well, I don't know Great In fact, I'm not even sure where I'm at, dude I believe that Hey Belle, Jolene's in your kitchen Oh, look, you got me so stressed out I'm not even looking where I'm going Dang, it's kind of like a mark How many people like to have a nice bone-in ground pork roast? You know, you know, it's like a bone-in pork loin, you know But you cut it whole and make a nice little roast out of it Well, I get me about a two or three pound bone-in pork loin roast It makes about eight or nine or ten chops, okay Then I get me some nice big fresh garlic cloves And then I sliver cut those kind of lengthwise You know, big nice chunks of garlic And then I get me some olive oil And I get me some fresh rosemary I think a little rosemary goes a long way And a little salt and black pepper And I get me a nice bottle of some good dry wine Now I only need half a cup So that leaves the rest of the bottle for you to drink while you're cooking Anyhow, then I just finish it over a little chopped parsley So let me tell you how I do this, okay I preheat the oven at 350 Perfect temperature for pork loin roast, especially a bone-in Then I take a small little knife And I cut several small incisions into that pork roast And then I insert the slivers of garlic All over that pork roast I mean, I just get them down in there by an inch deep into the pork loin Then I rub the roast with the oil Well, now Earl likes this part, okay? Because he likes to oil it down, all right? But I rub the roast with some oil And then I chop that fresh rosemary And I put it all over the top And I sprinkle some salt and pepper And I give it a good pepper rub Because I like that flavor And it's all on the outside So then I place the roast Bone side down Now that's the bone down Knide up Okay, you mix up In the bones down In the shallow roasting pan And then I pour that wine right over the top And then I basically roast this pork loin Where I basted a little bit as it goes along And maybe every 20, 30 minutes 15, 20 minutes I basted You know, but the roast is making some juices That's mixing in with that wine So it's really picking up good flavor But I don't want to wash all my salt and pepper So I don't baste it Until about 20 minutes Where I've got me a good crust on the outside of that pork And if you've got a thermometer And you stick it in the pork roast Don't touch the bone But when that thermometer reads 160 degrees Fahrenheit Then it's just about done Okay, it's only basically You'll cook this roast about an hour and a half Then basically when you take it out of the oven After now and have it should be done And you let it rest Don't slice it right away Let it rest So it comes coos down Because if you start slicing it right out of the oven All the juices will run out of it And your meat will end up losing all of its juice in it to be dry So the secret to juicy pork Is let it rest about 10, 10 minutes Maybe 15 minutes After you take it out of the oven And it should hold It should have cooled down enough Where the juices won't just run out of it when it's cooked But I like this one the best It's called my Tuscan-style pork roast I hope you enjoy it Yes, sir You know what's coming up Well, it's actually here And that is the ultimate tailgate lineup At Naaman's Catering Um And I have the brochure Wow, they have added to it this year One, two, three, four, five, six Six tailgate packages They start at 149 And that serves 12 to 15 people Okay, this is just one of them They call it the kickoff Red beans and rice with sausage Oh, a whole gallon Cajun fried turkey slammers It's those little sandwiches Okay, 20 of those 20 count The barbecue meatballs 60 count Spicy shrimp dip with crackers Three pounds Cucumber, tomato, and mozzarella salad I love that I really love that stuff I could eat just that And you know what? If you put like that particular package You try to put it together yourself At the grocery store It would cost you more than that And also I don't know Maybe you cook a lot better than I do But it wouldn't be as good Go to namenscatering.com And check out these tailgating packages And they also have They call it the option play And it's a huge list of things You can get a la carte Okay, yum I'm hungry just looking at this Also, you can stop by namenscatering Anytime at their location On South Dauphin Island Parkway And noodle around in their freezer They have so many delicious dishes Ready to bake Stop by, pick it up And guess what? You won't have to cook I like that option The no cook option And of course, if you've got a larger event You want to give them a call it 473-3900 There you one stop shop Honey, I'm at the meat counter What would you like for dinner? Brad's some chicken I love chicken What kind of chicken? It's some boneless chicken breast Will do Gee, I wonder how they get the bones At a boneless chicken How, indeed Hi, I'm Barney A big Barney's boneless chicken ranch Here on a beautiful but slightly melodorous 20 acres I raise boneless chickens Especially bread chickens That have no bones whatsoever Ah, it's time to herd the chickens Over to the feeding trough My workers do this By simply sweeping and raking The boneless chickens in that direction It's not easy to move 5,000 chickens When each one has the physical characteristics Of a water balloon But we manage When the chickens are big enough Which is too big to be dunked Into a regulation sized basketball goal They're ready to be processed Boneless chicken meat heads out To fast food restaurants Frozen food suppliers And your grocery store shelves So the next time you want chickens Gee, I love boneless chickens Think of all these boneless chickens Flopping around at big Barney's boneless chicken ranch We have the best chicken on the market No bones about it Are you looking for an exciting career? 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Sign Flipping University Hey You'll hear our graduates Shouting the school name Flip you, buddy Are you in debt? Then call 1-800-555-5555 Yes, sir Call 1-800-555-5555 That number again is 1-800-555-5555 So you say you're in debt? Well, those people in debt Should call this number 555-800-555-5555 So, if you're in debt And you want to get out of debt Then you might want to call 851-555-555555 555-5555 That number again 800-5-555555 585-585-5555 Hold on, the phone is ringing Hello? Hello? What was that number again? I'm glad you asked. Number is 800-555-5555-5555 Don't take my word for it Here's my wife and business partner 800-5 And introduce our children, honey Here's 5 Hello? 5-5 Hello? And 5-5-5-5-5 I'm 5 And in case you've forgotten that number to call Is 800-555-5555-5555 Say goodbye, dear 5-5-5-5-5 I'm Jolene Roxbury Thanks for taking us along with you today Wherever you are Whatever you happen to be doing Stay right where you are We will be back with more shut Roxbury We will be back with you today We will be back with you Hey, hey Welcome back to the show If you are listening to our sort of live stream on FMTalk1065 You are either catching us on Saturday at 4 p.m. Or enjoying us with your favorite morning beverage Sunday morning at 7 a.m. But sometimes it's tough to schedule that time to be right there in front of the radio I mean, you don't have to be right in front of it My grandpa used to stand right in front of the radio when he was listening to something and lean towards it I guess it's because he was maybe hard of hearing Maybe that's it Maybe that's why he used to holler at the radio, too Anyway, if you're not right in front of the radio Well, that's where that handy-dandy FMTalk1065 app kicks into action All your favorite podcasts are right there at your fingertips So be sure to download that app, okay However, you choose to listen to our show We are very happy to have you We love being here weekly for you But you know, one of the challenges that goes along with having a weekly show Is if we choose to cover some current news By the time our show airs It won't be current anymore But this one This story This is from the You can't make this stuff up file Hmm What is it? Dalton Orwig? Yeah, I do know a couple of Dalton's Yeah, I know what he's calling You can put him through You It's Dalton Orwig from Mobile Morning's Dalton, I can count on two fingers The times you've called During production of the show What problem do you possibly have with us covering This story That was actually in the news We're not making this up Yeah, we weren't going to cover that story Why not? It's real news Isn't that what y'all do in the mornings? You're always telling me We need to actually cover something of some substance It was too disgusting Well, that's your opinion Not talking about this story with any nauseating specificity You guys could have covered the same story And kept it clean For the breakfast hour We have standards on the morning show, Julian Oh, now I know you're kidding Standards Y'all even do any show prep? We prep all week here, huh? Whatever Look, we're not going to dwell on the story We're just going to do our bit And move on I'll talk to you later Alright, bye This happened Maybe a week or so ago A United Airlines flight Traveling from Houston to Boston Was forced to make an emergency landing at Washington Dallas International After a passenger caused a biohazard situation on board I'm using the air bunnies A biohazard situation According to the reports And the audio recordings from the flight That's key Audio recordings The passenger experienced A medical issue That resulted in the spread of Something Throughout the cabin The spread of something I'm trying to Clean this up Figuratively And they were cleaning it up literally Okay A physician who was on board Communicated with air traffic control Urging that they make an immediate landing Due to this biohazard situation The pilot confirmed that the situation was Air bunnies again Quite bad And required immediate attention As we understand it The problem originated At the rear of the plane In or around the restroom Okay I'm letting you draw your own conclusions here When they landed at Dallas The aircraft was met By emergency medical services Which I'm guessing was a Gotta go tarmac potty truck Rather than an ambulance And the affected passenger Was taken in for medical treatment Um If anybody's got a follow up to this story I mean I'm hoping there was Nothing seriously wrong with this person United Airlines didn't release any Specific details about the passenger's medical condition Which they're you know Not supposed to do that Privacy concerns and all However They did confirm that the flight was diverted Or diverticulvola averted Due to an urgent customer situation Okay Diverticular diverted I'm thinking I'm thinking this passenger Simply had a case of the Woboys Granted Some highly toxic Woboys And it got us to wonder in What it must have been like During those very challenging moments On that airplane Attention passengers We've just been made aware Someone has had an attack Of the Woboys In both restaurants The what? The Woboys Woboys Woboys Hey what about the one up there in first class? Ironically Only the rear of the plane has been affected Woboys That noise It's the vacuum seal around the cockpit door The captain has decided to make an expedited landing And would like to remain conscious while doing so Why would he have trouble remaining conscious? The fumes man Oh boy Oh come on how bad could they? Sweet fancy Moses Ooh that smells Ugh gross Mommy Please leave off all cellular devices And we ask any members of law enforcement Do not key your radios Until you have exited the aircraft Sitting in the airliner don't you know I'm sorry sir we don't have any more burritos You ate them all The pressure inside was starting to grow And no more red bull for you I was about to interrupt like a volcano Well better step back as I'm gonna blow You might want to open up that door We can't do that it would affect the cabin pressure Emergency Emergency Please remain The Woboys Oh great Now I've got this my cell phone My cell phone okay hand it to me Who is it? Oh man Sullivan's calling me Sean what's going on? Sean Hey can you hear me? He's in the boat He's fishing John he's fishing Hey Sullivan Did you bug dial me? Sean All right Sean Okay how long is that? No Take this and let me get that guy One of those in there Are you talking to Captain Bobby? Is he there? I got you a panted but there's also sugar free panto Could you guys get your boat snacks together later I'm trying to do a show here Sean Jolene Laura I'm told you I pay attention to what comes out of the speakers on this radio station Yes We do have standards around here Yes And I'd really appreciate No I insist that you stay away from And toilet stories What? This was a real news story That we read about on the internet Okay We'll talk about this later I'm busy fishing and doing clean activities What? Yeah Okay this is not good I'll get back with you on this You don't need to get back I can't do this anymore with you Really? Fine Did you go ahead and hang up the phone? Hey I guess Sean can't press end call with his slimy fish finger John just end the call Thank you Thank you So Listen we never do this Why are there so many calls coming in And most importantly why are you putting them through? Okay Well that's fine It's my sister Iris Finally A friendly voice Although she usually calls to complain So hey I heard that bit about the whoa boys Oh come on What about the whoa boys? You did realize that my family came up with that term Yeah, I know you did I even remember when you came up with it It was in connection with a particularly hazardous week When grandpa ate lunch for eight days straight At the Mexican explosion cafe Well shouldn't I get some kind of a credit for that Well I'm giving you credit for it right now What does it matter? Are you serious? Are you serious right now? I'm completely serious Sweet fancy Moses This was just for a simple little two three-minute bit On the airline flight thing Just for entertainment purposes I really didn't think it was all that funny anyway Of course you didn't So you're telling me not to not to use it again? Do whatever you want Iris That's what you do anyway Oh I'm so terrible Don't worry I'm not mad Yeah I'm not worried about that Having a good weekend You too I love you We'll talk to you later Bye You see people That's why we don't even attempt to stray into anything real That's why we make everything up Because it's always upset in somebody My people need to calm down Think of all the things that cause you stress Traffic When you feel a stress headache coming on Reach for new improved calmo fad But aspirin upsets my stomach Don't worry There's no aspirin in calmo fad And caffeine makes me generate No problem There's no caffeine in calmo fad either I just don't trust all those buffers An extra ingredient Chill out you big weenie There are no artificial ingredients Or chemicals in calmo fad Okay Okay give it here I'll try some Let me roll out the cotton and Hey the cotton is the only thing in the bottle That's right Just stick it in your ears Now the stress that causes headaches Is gone Isn't that right? You paranoid wimp What? Calmo fad Absolutely no artificial ingredients No harmful ingredients No ingredients at all What? Use only as directed Do not use in the path of heavy machinery What? What? Why? Calmo fad Don't you feel calmer already? Stick around we'll be right back with more notes It's been doing rocks very sharp Whether you're downsizing your own home A family member Or you know someone that needs to We're here to help This is Sherry Wright With Caring Transitions Whether you're relocating yourself Or a family member needs help We know the challenges That come up along the way It's very easy to become overwhelmed And Caring Transitions specializes In helping you navigate These sensitive times Caring Transitions Also provides professional estate sale management And a professional online CTBIDS platform Which is an online auction Our years of experience Have proven to families Time and time again Help beneficial And a state sale Or an online auction can be You can rest assured We make every effort To ensure you're a state sale experience Or online auction Is a good one Let Caring Transitions help you Make a transition as smooth And stress free as possible The first step is a free consult Call me today Sherry Wright At 251-264-9633 Find us on Facebook At Caring Transitions of Mobile Or on our website CaringtransitionsMBC.com Caring Transitions Serving Mobile in Baldwin Counties Visit us online At CaringTransitionsMBC.com Hi, this is Mobile County Sheriff Paul Birch Preserving and securing the safety Of the people of Mobile County Is a very rewarding job But it can also be stressful and demanding Laughter has been shown to lower blood pressure By releasing endorphins Which counteract the negative effects of stress In law enforcement That's a very valuable tool to have One way we fight stress Is by tuning in To the Jolene Roxbury variety hour Join us every weekend On FM Talk 10065 Thank you so much, Sheriff That means a lot Could I get you to change one thing, though? We like to say laughter releases Endorphins Jolene and I grew up on the Bill Coast It's been a lot of time on the water And I've never seen an endorphin Oh, they're not in the water They're invisible They come out when you last Oh, okay Yep, the endorphins They do exist They do, they do I need to take this call It's Adeline Hello Nope Hello? Adeline, can you hear me? I totally hear you Where are you guys? Are you traveling? You camping? What are you doing? Where are you at? Well, man, Jeb is somewhere in Northwest Florida And of course, we've had to stop For Lotto tickets You don't know exactly where you are But you do know you've stopped For Lotto tickets You know how I feel about that But you and I agree On that one thing That the chances The chances of the airstream Fontaneously combusting Are better than us actually Winning anything But if you do not play, you cannot win I understand So that was pretty bold You guys traveling down to Florida With the hurricane coming all I mean, I know you like storms But there's nothing really good About a hurricane Only good thing that ever came out of a hurricane It gets rid of them Awful love bugs But he wants to have a hurricane Just to get rid of them things I found something that works Even better than high winds Did you know? We found this out a couple years ago When we was down in Palm Beach My mother-in-law was with us And somehow she got hold of the credit card And ordered some tragically revealing clothing Oh my gosh, not a good look for Nana Was she like 90? Anyhow, she put one of them get ups on And proceeded to walk around the RV park Ooh! You're saying her walking around like that Had an effect on the love bug? The love bug stayed away That whole season Didn't even need a hurricane to drive them away It was just Nana and her panties And Boost Day And the matching no-pest trip So we've all been sitting around rakin' martinis Lookin' through the catalog What we gonna get her this year And listenin' to your show You have a good weekend, darling And if you need any anti-love bug ensembles You just call me No, I don't think we need any of those Ahhh Oh, thanks Adeline No pest trip What? Is that what she said? John Okay Yikes This portion of a jolly and Roxbury variety Hours brought to you by Mr. Biddle's Little Skittles Love candy? Mr. Biddle has little skittles Or bigger skittles you can whittle Or middle skittles that make good vittles So diddle with the skittles That are never a riddle Mr. Biddle's little skittles Located between Katie's Kit Kat Koehr And Narlie Nathan's natural neck away for warehouse Up in the morning and out to school The teacher is teaching the golden rule This is your OT with my final back to school tip Yay, the last one If you volunteered to send cookies And juice to your kid's class You gotta be careful Yeah, you gotta be really careful What kind of treats you send to school Some schools won't allow you to send any kind of treats Did you know Mike's hard lemonade has alcohol in it, dude? Yeah Yeah, I knew that I bet you had some angry parents Whoa, I see why they call those moms mad The mothers against drunk drivers They were like brutal, dude You ever been whacked on the face with a Mike's hard lemonade bottle It raises his waltz, huh? Yeah, I know we're done now Thank you, Errol, for your informative back to school We've been in there Yeah, like, you know, peace, well, bye So a very lovely local lady She sent us a message and asked if we could do a special silly song for her She tells us she is in her late 40s And she is beginning to suffer from some of the symptoms That go along with being a female in her late 40s Let's just put it that way Nice and simple But she said one of the main things that really, really bothers her Is that she will walk into her room And totally forget why she's in there Frankly, I've done that since I was 15 Something very wrong with me The CRS syndrome Can't remember stuff Yeah, that's what they call it Walk into her room Can't remember why you're there All while managing a body temperature of 200 degrees She didn't want me to use her name, her full name But she said I could just call her Jay So here we go, Jacqueline, this one's for you Oh, sorry Always hot Always heated If fire was a person, that's how I feel Touch that AC and I'm killing you No problem You'd better leave that mug on 62 Not moving it an inch I get up to go to the next room Left my laptop open Now they're watching me on Zoom I must be such a sight As I circle the room Yeah, but on the plus side you are trending 'Cause I still can't recall What I came in here for Is it bigger than a bread box? No, I still can't recall What I came in here for Okay, I'm gonna retrace all my steps And then maybe I'll remember I'm wanting chocolate to pass my lips I'm wanting Cheeto Orange fingertips Did I mention I'm on fire? Yeah, that came up It's a freeze-eye desire How about some cuddle time, hmm? And don't you touch me With those hands of the devil They are kind of sweaty Keep your hot paws To yourself Feels like I swallowed the microwave Get me shaved ice And please behave One bubblegum ice coming up 'Cause I still can't recall What I came in here for To get me a beer? Yes, your beer! No, I still can't recall What I came in Scissors, scissors I was looking for the scissors Let me explain what this phenomenon is called You're gonna mansplain hot flashes to me While I'm standing here with the pair of scissors Ha? No, I'm not mansplaining I'm merely- How is it possible you haven't learned by now I don't want to hear your comments And your helpful tips I'll get you that bubblegum ice right away I'm not a smart man No! On behalf of the Roxbury players That's gonna do it for us this week Thanks for letting us hang out with you And taking us along Follow us on Facebook And that way you'll have access to our podcast We're here every Saturday and Sunday Right here on FMTalk1065 See you soon! The Jolene Roxbury Variety Hour contains copyright and material And cannot be duplicated or rebroadcast in whole or in part Without the express written consent of Macadow Productions We love you America! Join us next time for more Madcap Adventures On the Jolene Roxbury Variety Hour I'm Mr. Announcer (beeping)