Greetings, congregation! This was a great episode for me. Attentive listeners will remember brandon from such episodes as "Brandon robs a drug dealer" and when we talked about death and Aleister Crowley. Brandon has been traipsing through the world of darkness for the last 3 years, and is blessedly back to us. Brandon just got done doing some time and is adjusting to his new life sober. He lets us in on what has been happening with him and how he is doing now. Rejoice with us!
music: Hide n' Seek (lullaby version) by Ethan Bortnik and Rough Gem by Islands
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This episode is brought to you by Shopify, whether you're selling a little or a lot. Shopify helps you do your thing, however you titching. From the launch your online shop stage, all the way to the "we just hit a million orders" stage. No matter what stage you're in, Shopify is there to help you grow. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com/specialoffer, all lower case. That's Shopify.com/specialoffer. Hey guys, welcome to Church and Other Drugs. My name is Jed. It is Sunday morning. I was getting ready to put the episode out and obviously there has been some news. Me and Canon and Andrew and Ben are recording this afternoon and we are going to talk about what happened yesterday with former President Trump. Yeah, this is not good. This is not good. It's not good. Any angle you look at this, it is not good. I found myself realizing, I spend a lot of time - maybe it's because it's Sunday morning - but I thought about this last night. I was like, I spent a lot of time talking to people or eating, you know, dwelling in the sad state of the nation and all that or whatever, but I don't often pray for it directly. That's one thing I never really add into my prayers. I guess because like I don't know what exactly except like for God's will to be done in this situation. Like I don't know, but I do know that it's no like and it's it's wild we live in a day and age where it's a something like this happens and it's just immediately memed into oblivion and I think it's this is not I think we're I think we have crossed a line that I absolutely wish was not crossed and I hope that the boundaries are firmly reestablished and I hope it doesn't get crossed any further because this is not good. We need to be moving away from things like this and somehow back to some sort of like we just need to get along dude like oh man we need to get along but I don't want to waste too much we're gonna be talking about it today. I might put it out before next weeks and so it'll be topical but today this is awesome news. So if you all remember Brandon, Brandon, Autry, he's been on a bunch of times. I went to visit him in Colorado. I think it was Brandon Robs a drug dealer was his famous episode. He has been out there for the last two or three years and he finally you know me and his friends have been really worried about him trying to figure out how to help him and he ended up going to jail for 120 days and he just got out and moved into sober living and he is he's doing well right now and I'm so happy about that. So I brought him on to give us an update and to talk and to get some encouragement and it's just good stuff. So that's awesome. That's a good part of this story but yeah you know love your neighbor people send me an email at churchandotherdrugs@gmail.com. Patreon.com/churchandotherdrugs. See y'all. [Music] Oh right oh there you go. Hmm. Well it lets you know so nobody can do a little sneaky link on you. I bet people snuck it and that's why they did that. Yeah that has to have been what it was dude. That would be dirty bro. Yeah I'm sure like yeah I don't like I already don't like how like police can subpoena like your text messages and emails and stuff if they get your phone that can you imagine if anybody like a like what's oh Hunter Biden like I just for just for giggles I I'd looked at his it's his entire iCloud that is on a website I made it through a page and then I was like I feel bad about like this is just looking at this dudes it's literally looking at homeboy's camera roll like all of it that's messed up bro. A lot of people would. A lot of people would. Oh man. Oh it's yeah it's freezing a bit. Yeah text messages dude. What? What happened? Let me put it on guy who they subpoenaed his Snapchat blogs. Whoa. And he was looking at like 26 years or something like that a bunch of people died off the blues he was selling. He was a kid bro he's 19. Okay well let's let's let's not get it I want to get to all that dude. Number one it's good to see you dude. You know how you know worried we were everybody. No I have a good idea of at least a couple people that were probably worried but yeah I I had to do the whole like yeah he's probably gonna die thing in my head and just kind of resign to that which sucks bro. It does suck yeah. Sorry sorry sorry I had to do that. No hey man people had a it's it's weird being on the other side. Yeah so are you good like telling the whole shebang-a-bang? Sure yeah. Well cuz all right so like you've been a cuz I think it's like it's important to I think it's a very good cautionary tale and so so you were on here a bunch of times and I came to visit and you were a little sketchy when I came to visit and then you you called me and you were like cuz you kept you would spend a very long time in the bathroom okay and I was like okay like he's doing who's doing something and then you called me and you're like hey I was doing cocaine and I was like in my head I was like no you weren't like you were not at all on cocaine and then you were like okay I was doing I was doing Fettie doing Fint. I was like damn it dude yeah and then it just so this is just like from my point of view and then I know you and like you you left you split with your lady you were then living in your truck then the next time I saw you in person was at furnace fest and you looked rough you were DTN which I couldn't believe you were that would be hell for me to be at a sunny outdoor festival detoxing off opiates would be terrible and that was the last time I saw you in person and then it would just be like spotty communication via text you could like it was just the in and out of someone being addicted right and oh did you know that I covered did I tell you that I covered for you on a Facebook page you what do you mean you covered oh was it on the record page so do you mind me telling this yeah go for it yeah so so so you were all so this was on the the me without you face the me without you fan club page and somebody posted hey does anybody know Brandon da da da da I bought this from them and I haven't heard back and they were like and someone was like oh me too and on me too and so I messaged this girl can you hear me yeah I can you yeah yeah so so I messaged the girl that made the original post and I was like hey look dude my dude's got like a serious problem right now and he needs help and I was like look I'll just how much city grip you off for and I'll just I'll just send it to you so I I paid 50 bucks to that girl not know that yeah yeah thank you for that hey you know that's crazy yeah yep and then I saw other I guess because she she poor girl wait she what good no and then I saw like on other record I was gonna say that poor girls definitely wait she's definitely what you cut out yeah my bad bro I don't know if it's the Wi-Fi or my signal sorry she's definitely not the only one yes got screwed over by me on that situation yes I don't even know the extent of it but I know I can't use PayPal or Venmo anymore because of it so like permanently I appreciate that thanks hey dude you know well I know the struggle so it's funny it's like it's exactly the kind of stuff like I got sober before the advent of like social media and that's like a whole new world of scamming potential like but it was yeah it sucks because yeah go ahead I really did sell like some of my favorite records and people really did get them and then once that started happening I was like man this would be so easy to like not send it and then you know that happened a couple times so yeah that's mostly with records but also an under oath CD that someone never got so that's a that's what Johnny Craig did that's like the famous thing with the with the laptop he he sold his laptop yeah like 20 times like the same laptop that was a when he was on dope so I knew I was like damn it dude like this is not good and it was just more months of that until there was a stretch where I didn't hear from you and I can't remember who told me maybe it was Tim that finally said you got arrested and no no no your brother who I never met your brother reached out to be on Instagram and was like hey this is Brandon's brother and it was like when you went home at some point and they tried to like do an intervention to try to get you to go somewhere and you ended up just leaving or something and so I was like just keep me in the loop dude and then the next update I heard was that you got locked up and then I searched your charges or whatever and I was like yep he is in jail and I was like thank God thank God dude so yeah you tell me from your side yeah so that I mean yeah I when we met in August at furnace fest yeah that was so I actually had brought I brought like 30 or 40 pills with me because I thought this would be good for three or four days but I was done with them by the end of the underworld okay so we'll first night explain what blues are yeah so blues yeah so when my ex-wife and I started having issues I picked up coke again and then shortly thereafter I was looking for oxies and when I went and bought oxies this was I mean this was years and years ago now I went to bioxies and they ended up they look like oxies but they're just pressed fentanyl pills so they got a little bit of fentanyl and a bunch of cut and so that we call them blues because they're little blues blue M30s and they got a M on one side 30 or the other but I quickly picked up on those I was snorting them with the coke at first which I honestly I was trying to I thought you came and visited but I honestly don't even remember you coming yeah bro you were so congested it was unbelievable and you were like oh my allergies my allergies yeah we spent like a week together yeah yeah you and Brady came out here too my my little brother the one who reached out to you he came up to visit me and he knew I was doing coke but he didn't know that I was also doing blues and so he yeah I think he even left early he and his buddy came out here I think they left early because they're like they're just like screw this dude they're like this isn't fun yeah so yeah yeah I don't yeah I was still in the apartment this episode is brought to you by Shopify whether you're selling a little or a lot Shopify helps you do your thing however you chitching from the launcher online shop stage all the way to the we just hit a million orders stage no matter what stage you're in Shopify's there to help you grow sign up for a one dollar per month trial period at Shopify.com/special offer all lower case that's Shopify.com/special offer apartment at that point and then in August I came to visit you know you'll be went to the show and that's why I picked up crack because I went looking for the second day when I was started detoxing I left and I went and got alcohol and bottle bottle like I drank a bottle whiskey and then it wasn't you know I almost broke my arm on one of those cricket scooters but then I figured that they just had fed everywhere yeah this is in Birmingham Alabama I got on the scooter and found the first yeah Birmingham yeah I got on it so I'd never been there before I got on a scooter and found the first and first homeless person I could and asked her where the ghetto was and she told me exactly where to go and I went up there and I pulled five dollars out of an ATM like that's how you know you're in a sketchy neighborhood how you can pull five dollars out an ATM and pay five to get five oh my god yeah and Birmingham you sure sure yeah did and so I did that and I tried to buy FETI but no one had any but this guy had some this some crack and he was like man he was like you he's like you want to smoke this and I was like I had tried it before and I was not impressed but I was like I don't give a shit what it is I you know whatever you got and so we hit crack and it was the first time I'd ever hit a good hit and I was like yeah I love this and so you know yeah yeah I did that for a little bit and then as soon as me and Tim got home that night I went out and got some more blues and then ended up where I was hanging out the block I was hanging out on with this there well I guess that was before I went to rehab that was August that October mayor my Maris and I my wife and I were still together at the time mm-hmm and then October on my birthday I checked myself into rehab to try and save the marriage or whatever was it do you have that rehab in the rehab that's right went to another rehab then they both yeah yeah both yeah I was in there for two weeks the first week was detox the second week was rehab and then I got kicked out and then the the next day I went to another rehab where I was at for two weeks and then for some reason I it's scouts honor I swear I did not use in that place but I tested positive for fit after like a week and a half me and some 70 something year old man both pop dirty and yeah to this day I have no idea what happens you got and you know I don't know I don't know what happened but I think it was a God or whatever you call it you know getting me out of there because there were folks in there that I probably shouldn't have hung out with but I got this one girls number and you know once I got out we Maris and I I found out what was going on with her and so she and I split and then and that girl from the rehab she will lose so I've reached after we're and traded me and when yeah yeah so that the girl that I met in rehab yet she and her boyfriend came over one night and I traded them blues for crack and then that's when I started my crack addiction I moved from coat to crack you said then a couple months later we released rent go ahead wait you said the blues were five dollars so when I started that years ago I paid 15 a piece okay and then shortly thereafter within like two months I found out that they were fitting on once I found that out then I started getting them for five a piece and then this year that I'm talking about the year of furthest festival that was that 2020 yes 2021 21 21 okay yeah so that that year I started paying a lot less another guy from the first and so towards the end I was living in my truck and I was you know allegedly boosting from Home Depot and other places and then that's kind of how I was keeping my habit up was boosting and selling and stuff like that but well how long would they like with the blues like how long did like was the high even good and like how long did it last yeah so it that's the thing with those is they kind of depend because they're all pressed and so some of them are you know some of them you'd I would so at first I was snorting them I started smoking and then when I started living in my truck and at that point it was it was it was all downhill because it didn't last very long when you when you smoked it yeah I was I mean at first maybe maybe an hour or two but towards the end I mean it was it was a lot it was just like an opiate crack oh it was like a couple hits off a blue and then yeah I mean towards the end the end I mean I was I would smoke like a whole pill and like two or three hits and then you know sometime every now and then you take a hit and then pass out and wake up 20 minutes later and then you go back and take another hit and pass out and but the ones that I'd normally like to get were ones that you like you'd hit and then you know it kind of I don't really remember a lot of it so you know a lot of it was nodding off or whatever but that's why I was I mean I was going through like I was going through like an eight ball of crack in like 80 to 100 pills a day towards the end that's because I was driving or it wasn't saying but it wasn't that expensive because I would spend it was probably about maybe like four hundred dollars a day four five hundred dollars a day which is expensive yeah when you're when you have I had the only bill I had to pay was my phone bill and other than that you know I had to keep my dog fed and you know getting food is like the easiest thing you know yeah so I never really had to worry about buying food but yeah I mean I was out there and then yeah I didn't Christmas of last year 2023 Christmas I went out to Texas and visited my family who thought I was clean how put wait what one more quick thing on this so how quick did the withdrawal start and how were they compared to regular opiates or did the crack completely cover it all up okay good yeah yeah so the with the crack kind of made it work first but obviously you're trying to get high so you know I would smoke crack the whole time but I didn't really go without blues I really didn't because the guy that I bought from I bought from for so long that he would if I needed it he would front him to me and then he wouldn't make me pay him back and it was one of those situations where I made sure that I had them but the withdrawals would start I mean for me they would start within a few hours yeah if I didn't have anything it was a couple hours that start feeling bad I would say like 24 hours and it's your in full withdrawals and then for me 72 out like 48 to 72 was where it got the worst and that lasted about two days so basically the first five days is just hell and it's the difference between that and like like H mm-hmm like what I used to do that is it was H withdrawals are much heavier physically so like you know like leak in your pants of like all you know whatever all types of crazy stuff but the blues are more mental for me it's physical yes but mentally it's like because they're so cheap and you can find them anywhere you can out here in Denver you can literally find them anywhere especially if you take public transportation but it's just like yeah it's bad but for me that all the withdrawals are normally done around day 14 and now I start feeling like a human again and I start like recharging kind of yeah but the first 14 days is just hell just it all you can think about all you can dream about it's going to get more and yeah physically physically I just I can't sleep I have restless legs you know bad bowel movements not hungry you know all that yeah for a solid two weeks and you never OD'd no that's no was it because you were doing crack always that doesn't make or just your tolerance but it seems like ever around I don't know around here man all my friends are dying I guess a lot of them are shooting it but not everyone some of them are smoking and snorting yeah a lot of people yeah a lot of people around here are just moved from blues to fettie powder and which is like pure fentanyl I'm sure there's cutting in everything but it's like it's like fentanyl powder so that's the stuff that people are dying on out here it's what people are shooting out here it's what people are makes them with coke and then not know about it dying I hit that I hit that a couple times but the first time I did I passed out for an hour I blacked out for an hour and then like woke up in my truck like what because I barely hit any and so after that I was like I'm not trying to do that one and one of the guys that I like would see out there because I was I was pretty much alone all the time so but there was like certain people that I saw on the block the block where I would normally get cracked and they were like they were shooting it was clear or any hope and stuff like that and that was like I started thinking about doing that and I really was not trying to pick the needle back up and so I got yeah so I think you know I had some you know yeah some level of where I was gonna stop but I think I definitely would have started doing that shortly after yeah picking the needle back up is basically saying like I'm ready to die like that's it's yeah you can't you can't do that anymore and or so yeah you're either gonna die or like everyone I know lately that's doing clear meth it's like they go into instant psychosis like I don't know what's wrong with it or what's different about it but dude it seems like the drug market in general is just fucked right now like yeah I mean you would know more than I it really is that in the clear especially around here especially down in Colorado Springs whatever they're cutting it with is definitely it's making people go nuts if people are smoking mom about here too which is like what they call spice oh yeah it's I can't believe it's a street drug now people are doing spice it's sold now yeah synthetic lead to the people synthetic cannabinoids whatever yeah yeah K2 instant spice whatever you want to call it yeah so they're going nuts on that huh people are going nuts on that so it's hard to tell if it's that or people are unclear but out here out out here where I am in Denver it's pretty much almost everyone who's doing Dope and living on the streets and they're doing clear and they're doing blues either Fettypath or blues or both but yeah I mean it's pretty much everyone is on you know either that of their drugs yeah and so you know it's that's like the only two type of people and most people will smoke mamba or spice or whatever whenever they want to but that you know so it's hard to tell what what is making people scream at trees honestly but like but it could be either of those in it isn't it isn't it a cruel a cruel joke that alcohol no matter how much liquor you drink it never covers an opiate withdrawal for some reason oh it's messed up yeah why you would you would think that that would work but it doesn't at all it just makes it really weird and gross and yeah the best that'll do is make you fall asleep yes that's yes you get to time travel through a little bit of withdrawal yeah okay yeah go ahead now just gonna say my truck because what I had when you were here and long long story short there's some folks out where my ex-wife's parents used to live in West Cliff it's like three and a half hours West Southwest of theater right past El Chapo right past where he and the Boston bomber and all that marms Supermax just passed there I would go out there and I was trying to live out there excuse me because I was trying to I was trying to get clean but I just wasn't trying hard enough so I went out there that's where my dog is right now still out there but so I would I would make that drive I don't know how many how far of a drive it is but it's about three and a half four hours to Denver I made that drive to and from at least two to three times a week in my truck and one of those times I came back and the the back right wheel came off while I was on the highway and so I somehow was able to coast it off the exit into a parking spot and then my car dropped down on under where the tire was yeah I got my tires replaced at some cheap little place and they over torqued it and busted off the lug nuts I guess and and then because I was riding on it for so long with it like scraping and just not being good I couldn't drive it anymore so I left it in that parking spot and I called the bank because I still owed money on it so I called the bank and told them where it was and said you guys can come pick it up and I think I was like that I was like November of last year what what did they say when you said that there's like okay well I didn't tell them anything I just said sorry I haven't talked to you guys and you know a year and a half and sorry I still owe you money here's where my car is you guys can come pick it up and they just were like okay that was it that was it so you dodged payments for a year and a half yeah yeah for a long time oh man so after that I was on the streets for like a day or two and then I was talking to my family at the time which like I said they thought that I was sober and somehow for the first time in my life they I would they they I got help from them buying a new car so I got it wasn't a new car but I got a super outback and I was super stoked to have this you know it was a station wagon I was stoked drove it back to the house and and then it was like I don't know another trip a couple we it was right before Christmas maybe a week or two before Christmas they they bought me a ticket to come out there to Texas where they stay for Christmas and I got pulled over for a DUI because he said that I was high on me which I wasn't and he didn't find any weed in the car but he gave me DUI and also I wasn't allowed to be driving because a couple months prior I got another DWI DWI by the same cop ironically enough who put me in jail that day but then I went to yeah I went to jail that night and when I got out I was like I got back in my station wagon and went back home and then like it was like a day or two later I went back to Texas to visit my family and I brought I brought what I thought again I thought would be enough you know blues and crack to last me for three or four days through you did that through an airport mm-hmm yeah or a little air what was your a little airport - what was your smuggling method the classic man you know yeah I mean they're trying through shampoo bottle no no no no the plastic bag and shampoo bottle is what I'm talking about I'm talking about prison wallet brother you did not I was not I was not gonna go with no dude I just had to make it through security so I carried it in my pocket until I got to the airport and went to the bathroom and did what I needed to do walk through security and walk straight into the bathroom and did what I needed to do to take care of it oh and I got high in the bathroom at the airport yeah dude it was it looking back that was crazy yes but yeah I did but I got high in the airport and then got up that almost missed my flight I got on the plane and took off to Texas and yeah they I mean obviously when you're going to the bathroom like just I mean yeah a hundred times a day and you're gone for like 20 minutes at least yeah and you come back different that's a big that's a big take when you come back a little different yeah a lot more chill yeah but yeah but I figured in my head it was like the crack is going to keep me up and it's going to cover it it's gonna mask the smell because blues smell like straight popcorn like burnt popcorn and so yeah and so it's very obvious anywhere you leave that you that's someone you were in there smoking and so I figured you know that'll mask the coat that I'm asked to smell my parents won't know what's going on I'll get high and then I'll go back home and I'll deal with it then cuz the crack will mask the smell is the funniest thing the saddest and funniest thing I've ever heard in my life not again and the diesel you know or whatever yeah yeah yeah that'll that'll mask it so I yeah man I but but you know hey and I was like not an after that no crack and you know and I ran out of blues Chris the night of Christmas Day and my cousins and my aunt my nan my like my grandma my nan I was there and they all knew that I was getting fun like just tossed bro they they knew I was nodding off I don't remember it at all my poor sister had her kids there my niece and nephew and so it's like oh it's not a good situation yeah and then the next day I went to the airport with my dad and Brady shows up my little brother shows up and they're like we know that you're getting high and we know that you have you know eight or nine or ten or eleven warrants yeah and he's there like you know we know you got court stuff but we want to get you help they wanted to put me in some type of detox or something and get me help and then he was like we'll deal with the legal stuff later and you know I was full fled this is 24 hours after my last use and I was full fledged just like I don't care about anything and I told them I was like I was like if you can give me some coke find and smoke some crack one more time then I'll go to detox and it was just because I knew like looking back is I just knew I knew that where they're not gonna get where and why would they get me crack right so so I hopped on the plane and came back and then the people that my dog or with they picked me up then that would yeah that was when that was when Brady reached out to me that you know that yeah okay yeah I mean they were trying they were trying hard to get me to go somewhere but you know I was just like I just want to see my dog and I considered coming out there to try to find you try yeah I did I was talk I was I don't remember who I was talking to you but I was like do I it I think it might have been Tim or man it seems like yeah it seems like some of your friends there don't quite understand addiction and like what it takes at all and so it's it's like I'm like hey man like yeah I might have to come up there and like physically make him like but yeah okay yeah I mean I would have that I would have applauded you if you would have found me because that that yeah because that night the day after Christmas I came back in my in that Subaru back I had for maybe three weeks and I fell asleep at the wheel driving the Denver to get some to get to get high and I pulled in oncoming traffic and flipped a truck with a trailer oh god didn't anybody get hurt I don't know I know that they're okay I know because I was worried yeah I was worried that they were like dead or something like that yeah but this I mean this is the day after Christmas and this is really when Mike Hell started because like everything up to that point sucked but I had a car and I had like a place to go if I needed to out there in West Cliff you know and that I was getting away with you know my little my little you know boosted and stuff or whatever yeah so it wasn't as bad as it could have been and then that night or that day it was like five o'clock in the morning because I promised my dad I wouldn't get in the car and gave the people I gave the people my key but I had a spare key that no one knew about and so so as soon as they fell asleep which is about four o'clock in the morning I got on my car took off that happened I don't remember doing that I don't remember nodding off I just remember waking up in a guardrail and I couldn't open my door my driver's side door and so I got all my all my tools together you know my work you know whatever you know the foils rose Brillo everything I needed for everything and I jumped out the passenger side door and there was a guy behind me that had stopped to make sure I was okay he was on the phone with the ambulance he was like man do you know what just happened I was like no and he was like you just flipped this truck over here and I was like oh no and in my head I had my license revoked twice in this county it was El Paso County I was out on a PR bond which out here in Colorado I don't know if y'all have that but it's a personal reconnaissance bond so you just sign a paper saying you'll come to court and if you don't then you have to pay the whatever the part one was you get arrested but as a part of that stipulation that I had to take drug tests which I didn't take a single one of and also I was not allowed to operate a mother vehicle and so it's like I can deal with all this and keep going through detoxes in jail or I can find a way to go get high and then deal with it later and so the guy who pulled over got pulled over to call the ambulance left his car on the door shut up dude and yeah so I hopped in his car his Chevy Malibu and I took off and up the highway passed probably 10 or 12 state troopers that were all on their way to where I just was and the ambulance and everything this is right in front of a place called Fort Carson it's like a military base out here and they were all flooding out of there towards my car they were all flooding towards where my car was and so I just took off I was going probably a hundred hundred and twenty miles an hour into Colorado Springs where there's this little area nice quaint little area where they like to call murder park and at murder park you're getting you're guaranteed to find blues and clear and so I didn't do any clear but I got some blues and got high and then went up to Denver to see my guys where I could get free blues and free crack all all in this dude's car all of this dude's Chevy black Chevy Malibu yeah yeah and some other dudes car so when I was in murder park I told one of the other guy was like man this is a stolo I was like you know you don't even want to buy this or anything I was like what it he was like no but he was like he was like that car that car that car all stolo's he was like so where we know what's going on out here he was like just take the plates off and then when you get to Denver put on some other plates for the same from the same car I was like oh okay that's easy enough and it's exactly what I did and I drove around for maybe I don't remember how many days it was the 26th or 27th so it was like four or five days I drove around in that car and then I checked myself in the detox and ironically enough I cleaned this guy's car I backed him this car I filled it with gas and then I texted the number on his insurance saying this is where your car was wow so he got his car back you guys car back in better condition than than I took it there you go that's yeah that's yeah that's really that's I get you I under good I felt bad yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah man he he got his car back but I was in detox for I guess that was only a day or two because I was in detox a couple days before New Year's and then on New Year's day there was this chick and in the rehab or in the detox she got an accident the same day I did she did the same drugs I did oh god and she listened to the same music I did and I was really into her and I was like she I was I was fine they finally put me on subutex I was finally like okay you know I think I can do this and she was like no I think I'm gonna leave and I was like man if you leave I'll go with you and so we did we left that night and this is New Year's day in the night of New Year's day and we walked back to where the car was hoping that he hadn't picked it up yet and it was gone and I was not even with this woman for 30 or 45 minutes in the free world before someone drove up smoking crack in a truck got a group of real sketchy looking people and they we had we had waved them down they wouldn't let me hit their crack but they said oh you know we can go get blues she can hop in and you can stay here and we'll go get them and come back and I remember looking at her and being like you don't want to do that yeah she was like don't worry she's like of course I'll come back for you don't worry about God yeah I said I you're not the one I'm worried about like like it's like you coming back it's not what I'm worried about it's it's them bringing you back right he's like no don't worry about it we're just gonna go get some dope and then I waited two hours and I knew as soon as they pulled off that I would never see them again but I waited two hours and she never came by and I was like going through withdrawals again and I was like you know what screw this it was a part of town that everyone it's a place called Aurora and where we were in Aurora I mean everyone around there is homeless doing doing clear and do I hope nothing awful didn't happen to that girl so fast forward a couple weeks I got a call from an Aurora detective saying that they're looking for her no I yeah she said I heard that you were the last person to walk out of detox with her you're not in trouble but I'd really like to find this girl and I called the detective back and never got an answer and I left a voicemail never gonna call back I have no idea what happened oh God yeah yeah but apparently I was the last one to see her other than those those three folks in that truck so I don't know but yeah that was in that was New Year's Day dude and so from New Year's Day till the end of February I lived on the streets I lived in an elevator and a light rail station which is the train station out here that was right off the bus route that took me to the block where I got cracked and so I lived there you know I just did what I could do to get high and you know yeah for whatever reason you know every day something would pop up this one guy one day had an Xbox and we traded that for some stuff that lasted for a couple days just it just worked out for a couple days yeah a couple weeks yeah and I don't know when it was in February but at some point I was sitting in the snow at a bus stop at like three o'clock in the morning and this dude rides up on a cricket scooter and asks for a lighter so I get a cigarette from him he gets a lighter for me and then he's like man it's freezing cold out here he's like my apartments right over here if you need a place to like chill until the morning when the when the Sun comes out he's like you're welcome to and I was like okay yeah thank you he told me where it was I was like thanks you know and he pulled off and then I like sized them up for a little bit while I drove off and I was like Mac could take him if it's like that and so I like yeah dude oh he said he's sitting down stairs when I walk up to his apartment he's like oh hey what's up man he just walked out of 7/11 I was like I was like man do you mind if I just come up and charge my phone for a little bit and he's like yeah no problem bro I come up to this dude department and there is a dildo on his coffee table oh no yeah and he's like we walk on the door and sit down on the couch and I'm like oh no and he was like just so you know I'm gay and I was like okay okay no problem with that he's like he's like I won't be pushy on you or anything but he is like you know him he's like I had some clear we can smoke some clear we can you could just chill here if you want oh god he's like but if you if you you know you want to get you yeah so he was that just he just was like just you know I'm gay and you know if you if you want to get your dick sucked at any point just let me know I was like I was like I'm not really into that but but thank you I'm plattered yeah thank you I did I did I was like I was like I'm flattered you know I was like I'll definitely smoke you're clear though I was going through withdrawal as well and so yeah now yeah I just said yeah I'll definitely smoke you're clear and you know I was like I need to get some blues cuz I'm going through withdrawals and he was like I might be able to get you some in the morning and as as a homeless person it is damn near impossible to find a place to charge your phone or use the bathroom and because of like all the rules there because of all the homeless people because of all the homeless people yeah I mean they'll let us live on the streets in the sidewalk but there's because of that McDonald's hides their their outlets Wow like you can't go to Starbucks without getting a drink there's not a single gas station in the city of Denver that their bathroom is open like because people just go in and get high and so it's it's damn near impossible to find someone that will let you charge your phone how big is the homeless community there like gargantuan like I mean it's a small city oh yeah that's true where it's huge so I mean there's a ton of homeless people but I mean it's also you get it's relative to such a small city gotcha so got you can't you cannot go anywhere even in the suburbs you can't go anywhere if the bus goes there there are homeless people the place that I got arrested is Inglewood which is a small small suburb of Denver just south there it's flooded with homeless people and so it's just like legally like we you know we can sleep at a bus stop if we want to we might get messed with but by a cop if they see us but I mean if we're if we're not openly getting high which most people are openly getting high they just moved to another bus stop but like what y'all do when it's freezing cold what I did was I took a blanket and pop the hole in it and then use it as a poncho and then just a cover my head with the poncho and got high under the poncho lots of people did that lots lots of people most the homeless homeless people have camps out here okay you know you can go to your tent or whatever but I mean people just get high on the trains people is what I did when it was snowing I lived on the elevator at night and then because the elevator there were five or six of us and so you couldn't like lay down it was like sitting sitting room you had to get there early enough and so it was warm enough in there and then I've got four o'clock in the morning when they start running the trains in the buses they do go over the little intercom because there's cameras and all the elevators and they're like okay you guys you guys got to get off now we're starting to run and so at that point I would either get on the train yeah I would either get on the train or the bus and then just get high on the train or the bus and now it's a lot harder to do that there are a lot more strict about everything there's can't they actually watch the cameras and then they have people that are like dedicated to going and getting on the train next to someone that's getting high and just like they don't mess with them but you know that they're there and so those people either get off or you know what eventually they get off basically and then they can be wild dude that's wild yeah yeah yeah and it's still to this day I mean you know I don't have a license right now so I have to take the bus and the train and it's not any different I mean the buses I haven't seen anyone getting high on the bus yet but the train I mean the train is what everyone did when you ask what people do and it's snowing everyone just got on the train and got high on the train you never you never had beef with any homeless people no not really okay God in in around here in New Orleans dude that's how we had a friend that got set on fire and killed by another homeless person I mean they're crazy like that out here but I mean it when I go ahead yeah yeah I'm I mean it when I say that I was like I buy myself all the time I had people that I bought my drugs from and so I didn't have to go and buy drugs from people I didn't know and then at that point you got to like get mixed up with other people the only people I ever hung out with was every now and then there would be like someone would just like show up and like this one guy at the train station when they showed up and he was you know if I'm sick off something then I'll you know then I start asking people but this guy was like I'm going to get breakfast at this hotel he's like you can come with me and you know we can smoke some clear afterwards so we did that and then we hung out for like a little bit that day we're like basically we went to get some money together because it's really hard to boost when you don't have a car it's not impossible but it's hard and so just every just like a random person would like pop up for a day yeah and we were doing a separate way that's so wild how that happens to the yeah such a different world it is and it like because I was homeless in my truck for you know two years damn near and so and all dude I mean I couldn't even start to explain everything that happened between New Year's Day and when I got arrested but you know that but that the gay guy we're up in his apartment okay and he introduced me to another gay guy named Skyler and this Skyler guy needed help moving into a new apartment and I was like yeah sure I'll help you move I'm helped to move and he gave me a place to stay for like three or four weeks oh wow let me stay on the futon outside of his apartment because he had the basement of some guy's house and the guy that on the house was never there the entire time I was there I think it was like two or three weeks I was there in February not one time do we see this guy this guy had a car in the garage and his key was in the kitchen and and so I had so but that's where he lived originally and so he we moved I helped him move back in his truck and he took off and I left one of the windows open so I could get back into the house and take the car oh yeah and so I rode around in that car and not for very long I don't think it had to have been maybe like a week or two because they all the time it was all just yeah I don't mess together yeah yeah but in that car I left the plates on it because I told I basically told the Skyler guy was like let me know when this guy comes back into town and let me know how he reacts to you moving out without without telling him that way I would know he's back and so I need to take the plates off and I need to do something about that right Skyler never told me because obviously when the guy got back he said his car was stolen and Skyler knew that I was the only one in the house and so he he never said anything to me until the night I got arrested but I drove around for like a week or two you know I brought up my boost game again was getting more high than ever and then yeah it's February 26 the night of February 26 I nodded off in Inglewood in the car and in Inglewood they have these cameras and their cop cars that scan every license plate for everything whether they're stolen or expired or whatever and so I'd never would have stopped in Inglewood I thought I was in Denver and this area is like across the street is a place called Sheridan the other side is Inglewood and then literally a couple blocks up the road is Denver and so I thought I was in Denver and I woke up to a bunch of cops okay it was the middle of the night so I just had lights shining at me bunch of cops telling me you know don't turn on the car give me your keys blah blah blah it's so obviously I turned the car on and and I tried to pull off oh no they had any pin though so I was just like pull tried to pull back nothing happened tried to pull me and so somehow I shimmed onto the dry or the sidewalk and I got stuck between an RV and a light pole and all the cops are surrounding me they got I don't know if their guns or tasers pointed at me at this point but I open the sunroof and one of the guy is like that's a good idea he's like open the sunroof and come down the windshield so I grabbed all I had just bought an eight ball of crack that night and I had like 50 blues on me two felonies out here which is hard to get a felony a drug felony in in Colorado yeah but I get out and on my right side left sides in RV the right side is a 10 foot tall barbed wire fence or is like a chain link with barbed wire on top and so I get on top of the car and I jump over that fence I get tased twice once in the button once in the leg and that causes me to like I like turn it to a plank and I lose my shoe I get caught up in the barbed wire but I like rip myself clear of that and I ran from the cops for a couple hours through like people yeah I ran through people's backyards like I said I don't I really don't remember most of it but I know that at one point in this area in go with there's like everyone outside has like little like crawl space entrances like a little it's like a little like like hole that they all have covered with a piece of wood and so I lifted one up and went under someone's house and then heard them like walking around and like I started skits and out I started got high down there I spoke some blues or some crack and then I started skits and out thinking dogs were coming after me and so I jumped out of their crawlspace and went over a couple more houses and gotten someone else's crawlspace and in those people I heard go out on their porch like it had so much this is a couple hours so I don't know what happened but I just remember them yelling their house number because the street was flooded with police flooded that like all I could see was cars and lights like through the houses and so I couldn't cross that road to keep going so I was just in these people's backyards going back and forth getting some else's crawlspace yeah they're yelling their house number and I start thinking dogs are coming after me I was like dude they're gonna rip me apart and so and I'm already cut them bleeding I have a I want like a taser thing in my butt dude I'm like like freaking out dude freaking out and so I try and jump on to someone shed a back over that fence and then I land I don't know what happened I don't know I think I landed on the roof of the building behind the people's houses on the other side of the ten-foot-tall chain link fence and I slid down and was just gassed I was stuck between two trees a wall and a fence and I was just gas and like the cops like they were yelling their house number at this house and so the cops showed up and came running at me through these people's backyard and I was just like I had my hands up trying to light a cigarette I was just like I'm done I was like I'm gas I was like are you guys you guys got me so they're yeah they had to cut me out from behind there the fire firefighters had to show up and they took me to the hospital they made sure I was fine and then I went to jail that night in Arapaho County Colorado and at that point I had 11 warrants so I had cases in yeah I had cases in Custer County I'll just list them off so I know with another Custer County El Paso County Douglas County Adams County Arapaho County and then I had warrants in Florence County so that's six counties and then two different like municipal districts and so yeah so I was done bro and so and between four months I was in jail and I went to three different jails and buttoned up all my probation and a couple other counties and was released a couple weeks ago with I'm now a two-time convicted felon and I have a DUI so that's stuff I'm dealing with now well so so you don't have to do any more time for all that I got time served for most of it that I have I have - two years felony probation two years DUI probation at Avel Paso County and then three years felony probation up here in Arapaho or Arapaho but if I if I messed that up then because all my charges out here have either been traffic or misdemeanor okay so all those cases that I had to do I like you know 110 days time served or 90 day whatever I got time so okay missed what was the fella my first what was the felony as so for the guys car who got his car back I got a second degree motor vehicle theft oh how did they find out well I mean he he reported it when I pulled off and they knew it was me so I had a worn out already oh yeah because yeah okay okay gotcha yeah and then I was just kind of hoping I mean if I took it to the box maybe the guy would have been nice and not showed up but I mean I ain't I stole a car dude and there's no way around it with all the people that were lined up on the road that saw me hopping some other ones car yeah he wasn't the only one I stopped up traffic for a mile that is straight up a grand theft auto move yeah like yeah that's what yeah I don't know what constitutes a grand theft auto but my but my parents asked the same day and they're like don't you have GTA for that I was like now it's out here there's first second and third degree motor vehicle theft well I didn't I thought it would be I just meant it's literally a move from the video game where you just yeah you just hop out and then hop into someone else's car like good God man yeah except I didn't have to punch him or force him out of his right so so what's okay so your felony was like the theft of motor vehicle basically so but so what happens if you mess up your probation like do you have like a guaranteed time you're backing up about two to six years yeah okay so do that's that's that's an El Paso County because then Aurora County where I was three years of probation I have I got trespassing I didn't get charged for the stolen car for some reason but I got charged for trespassing for being in someone's crawlspace and then hit and run and obviously obstruction for running from them but we're both of those cases I think I'm looking at about two to six years bro I feel like in Louisiana you just you'd get life like you'd get 25 years for all that shit dude down south bro yeah if I was still in Atlanta because I did five years probation for I mean I had a couple felonies but it was like probe it was like one possession charge and then a couple charges of entering an auto and I got drug court and five years of probation but if I would have screwed that up I was looking at at least like five years yeah yeah I was charged yeah yeah dang I'm gonna move to Colorado and do crime that's that's why that's why you want to get out of Colorado they make it so easy for you to do crime and be homeless bro it's insane okay so all right so did you have any sort of come to Jesus in jail like at any point were you like I need to get my shit together yes and no yes it wasn't like a come to G like it wasn't like a one-moment thing but over the four months the first month I just wanted to get out and get high then at 30 to 60 days I started being like you know what that I'm 30 years old and I am divorced and I all I have is a dog and so it's like I don't have you know what am I doing with my life and then I got a really good Sally who was really encouraging but also not like he wasn't like you know like holier than now AA cut type of person he was just another dude in a similar situation to me who was over it yeah and so yeah about about from a month like two to four as it was a slow burn it was like you know I kept going back and forth between like I'm not done having fun yet yeah like I you know you know having fun that's yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah between that and like I'm not you know I wasn't even thinking about the fact that how much it sucks being homeless especially when it snows and you know not you know I don't know stir I didn't struggle to eat but I was everything else I struggled to do and you know your whole life when you're home when I was homeless my whole life was literally just getting high or getting drugs to get high and it wasn't the first time I was homeless it was the first time I was on the streets and so it's it's a whole new ballgame trying to figure that shit out yeah like trying to trying to get money and trying to do all that so so yeah I mean after a while I just kind of was like dude I mean I got to do something different because because you know I'm out on probation now I could do whatever I'm I don't I'm not court-ordered to go to rehab I'm not court-ordered to go to silver living I'm not court-ordered to do anything I'm just supposed court-ordered to do my probation yeah if you're homeless it's real hard to find a homeless person it's not impossible but it's real hard to find a homeless person so but dude so yeah you you have to you've got to you have to you have to you have to that's kind of it's kind of where I'm at where I was like what we were talking earlier I was I mean I was I probably days away from from starting to shoot Fettie powder and and and it just wasn't I'm I want to be honest with you I mean it's February like I was I was ready to die like I was over it as I was ready that I wasn't talking to anyone I wasn't Jay I realize you're only 30 dude geez yeah I just turned 30 in October you're fucking young dude yeah little baby boy I thought we were the same age go how do you I'm I'll be 37 in August oh you are a bit I thought you're like 34 35 thank you you are a little bit older yeah it's it's the heroin preservation bro keeps you you I swear yeah yeah yeah straight up yeah yeah which that's that's another thing that started making a comeback right before I got arrested too it's like heroin starting the people are starting to like put down Fettie powder and blues and starting to pick heroin backed up and I've always said that if I'm gonna kill myself it's gonna be a heroin oh no and so I'm not trying to do that yeah yeah you've got and dude you had not you you are you had a beautiful life dude and like you can do it again like it's so it's not fucking worth it bro it's not yeah it's not in like dear God I don't know what to say other than it's not worth and it's only gonna like your it's only gonna get exponentially worse and you know that like so many like you haven't had like you haven't had where like you get the shit beaten out of you or you haven't gotten shot at or you have or you're not here at least you know I don't know you may have but like this time but like you know that's when the bad stuff you know if you lose an arm like you kill someone in a car like this the real bad stuff is what's to come you know like the yeah and you don't want to be and more than anything bro like I'm not trying to go to prison for life or for any significant amount of time or at all at all yeah at all yeah I'm not trying to go at all yeah but how so yeah so you got into sober living Monday which is fucking awesome how are the how are your cravings and stuff yeah so thankfully I mean I have like I have not thought or can even considered blues at all like opiates good so I'm keeping the suboxing around in my back pocket or virtual or whatever it just in case because because I haven't been I mean I haven't been comfortable in a living situation with money since I was married and so I really don't know what that's gonna look like in my head like I don't know how I'm gonna handle that and so I am kind of worried about that but as of late like I mean since have been out really for the last like two months I have not even thought about using blues I've seen people using them out there on you know around the train stations and buses I've seen it and it's like man they I'm happy to be off of them genuinely mm-hmm I just I don't I'm trying to be realistic you know like when I get in comfortable I don't know what things are gonna be like but right now I'm fine on that what's really tricking me up is wanting to smoke crack yeah it's just the devil it's still well yeah I mean I I shot crack and I shot coke and that's that is probably the it happened for I don't remember what it was oh I watched the documentary that I shouldn't have and they just straight showed blood register into a clear and I was just like it dude the visceral response it and dude I haven't shot coke in like fucking 15 13 years like it's been a long time I quit that before I got sober because same thing I was like dude if I if I want to keep doing drugs I have to stop the shooting cocaine because I will ruin my life and I had my um yeah and I did my like yes I had my my crack and coke phase in the Baton Rouge hoods and that's when just like horrible horrible horrible horrible things happened to me and but yes the craving for that is so it gets better those what I'm saying but yeah it took a man it took it took a it took a while for that one specifically it's just your body wants it so badly but it's it's oh god it sucks though it's so it's so unfilling bro it's though it's the worst it really is wild yeah I used to I haven't shot coke in nine years yeah it was 2015 I used to do that with age and yeah I mean it was same same with you I was like this it'll either kill me or yeah because I got shot that's when I was getting shot at yeah that's when I was you know almost getting beat you know like that that's that's yeah and so then I came out here and that crack was just like it's like it sucks dude because it's like alcohol to me where like it's like it's so easy to find and it's so cheap and if I don't have it then it just sucks how how much is an able there so for me I was getting an eight ball for like 210 and then and well no I was getting an eight ball for 120 a shirt was 60 a ball was yeah one 20 I was banned a shirt yeah I know a cookie and I know in April what's a shirt a shirt a t-shirt a t-teener I was 16 so it's 1.75 that's cute yeah yeah yeah yeah so that's just what it hit no I mean I hit like a I hit you I mean really you can get away with like a five or ten dollar hit which is like point oh five or like oh wait a tenor is one point something well yeah 1.75 so a little over-graming oh okay I know a tenor for me was always a tenth a point is what we call it for and that was like talking about oh that round here that's what a tenor is man you get a ball a clear out here for $20 as crazy yeah I'm not you yeah that's why people are growing crazy did they're cutting over whatever they're caught and I guess for other people yeah an eight ball is what 3.2 3.4 it's 3.5 yeah 3.5 and then a quarter 7 yeah so I was get for 20 bucks that's bad that's not good at all dude that's terrible yeah so people are banging like half-gram shots dude it's like yeah it's it's it's crazy sometimes more I've seen people great yeah that's that's what we that's what we did I wouldn't do less less than 0.5 I think the most I've done was like close to two and that was just when I you black out like you just do it you know your body's just like now we're not gonna do this yeah it's just and then you're up for fucking 40 yeah yeah yeah yeah I haven't you you look and sound so much fucking better dude I appreciate it thank you this is over me I know I know and you look like a human how are you what do you what are you how are you treating weed so on probation they look at it like medication so I can get a red card and smoke however I to get in the sober living that I'm moving into on Monday I can't smoke so I haven't smoked since February good good not smoked we don't fucking when's the last time you had a year sober I have never had a year sober since I started using a 17 then 16 or 17 then try it try it yeah that's all the way in yeah just all the way I quit smoking weed regularly maybe November to some sometime last year then like late last year and it started only smoking it like if I had a panic attack or like felt like I needed it and that that was change like life-changing in and of itself and so yeah I mean I'll try and go year oh you know I want to smoke some weed but I definitely you know I don't know I can't well I'm in sober living and this sober living seems like it's gonna be really really good so it's like it's a legit it's not gonna be full of people using on the slick yeah so that's the difference between the place I wanted to go there's one place I wanted to go because I could have my dog there and the vibe that I got from that when I interviewed was a more just like this is a house where you pretest when you come in and then other than that then oh no yeah yeah so that maybe in the future as a little bit of accountability with my dog but I think I'll probably stay here where I'll have a mentor and the guys are like really like into it you know they're really I actually I went to some church recovery thing last week and met a guy celebrate recovery up with these people so it's similar to celebrate recovery but they do things a little differently at this church it's it's a lot like CR though yeah but it's just a little bit different I went out and it was just like a barbecue that I went with like our family friend took me out there one of my mom's friends took me out there and I met this guy who hooked me up with this house and he was like yeah we he's like we we do stuff all the time we're you know we go hiking or like he's like yeah he has no affiliation with the house but there's a guy there that he's friends with and then yeah I interviewed with them the other day and they're they're like I don't know they seem really legit so it doesn't seem like just a spot that people are going you know getting sober once and then so they're gonna help me get my social security card they're gonna help me get a job you know yeah dude go to college like work have you ever worked the steps all the way all 12 not legitimately yeah I mean I did in drug court yeah I was just like homework yeah yeah did you did you reach out to my buddy I did I need a message him again now that I know what's going on because I'll be an ink I'm not in England I'll be directly off the Broadway just north of England yeah he's be near his area he's cool as shit and that's where we'll be staying when we come in September that's what's up yeah I can hop on a cricket scooter and come see you down there yeah dude oh bro I'm so I love you very I'm so glad all this shit happened I'm glad you're here just keep yeah keep in touch dude like just you know shoot me little text I'll shoot you little text let me know how you're doing yeah I will for sure do they I appreciate you for real I really do appreciate the friendship that you know I mean I never would have thought through some Emory podcast that it would be like this couple years later that you know and I really appreciate you're one of my only like sober friends because like you said I mean like I love Tim and I love Phil and the and then Chris and Jack are the two people that are friends with them that I was introduced through them that are now my buddies they don't get it at all they don't get it so I don't yeah which is cool yeah it's totally fun about other stuff right we can talk about other stuff but yeah this stuff like they you know I've been messed up at their house and they had no idea yeah yeah yeah at least you had an idea when you were over yes yes yeah um dude well all right send me an email church another drugs gmo calm and patreon.com/trich another good. We'll see you next time. [Music] you can whistle my name is the mind's in Africa that are to blame you can scoot out my brain shape it into a give and then tell me your pain I pray from the first day stay awake stay awake the rabbit was in the turn to the moment shine. [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music]
