Marketing Root Work Podcast
Should You Do What Makes You Miserable to Get Enough Money to Do What You Love?
Send us a textIn the world of entrepreneurs it's common to hear the advice "suck it up" and you'll be glad you did when you're making all that money, enjoying fame, etc. But is that true? Do we really have to do things that feel out of alignment with who we are to create what we want? Here's my experience and what I've learned.
- Duration:
- 9m
- Broadcast on:
- 05 Aug 2024
- Audio Format:
- mp3
In the world of entrepreneurs it's common to hear the advice "suck it up" and you'll be glad you did when you're making all that money, enjoying fame, etc. But is that true? Do we really have to do things that feel out of alignment with who we are to create what we want? Here's my experience and what I've learned.
Hello this is Judy Murdoch and this is the marketing rework newsletter. And today our topic is should you do you hate so that you can do what you love? For some people the answer is yes and this works for them. It didn't work for me. When I was working to build a coaching practice I hired a very expensive coach to help me break out to have the six figure practice I believed I could have. Initially I felt very encouraged by my coach. He himself had built a six figure practice and he assured me that he could help me do this as well. Even better he told me I could do this by writing and selling content. My coaching business was all about helping small business owners develop effective marketing and this information was popular and sought after. About three months into our relationship my coach changed his mind. He told me that having listened to a few classes I gave my real superpower was speaking and it was through speaking engagements that I would quickly build my desired six figure practice. I had no problem with the speaking part I enjoy presenting and teaching so this actually sounded like a lot of fun. The downside I quickly learned was getting speaking engagements and getting people to attend my engagements. When I asked how I was going to get all these engagements with rooms filled with people eager to hear what I had to say my coach had an answer. I would go to as many networking group meetings as I could. Once a day twice a day whatever it took and I would promote myself as a speaker to these groups. Many of these groups invited speakers to their meetings and soon I would have lots of speaking opportunity scheduled. My coach and I also developed an offer that I would make at the end of my presentation in which I would offer a free 20-minute consultation. My coach was confident that through these consultations I would convert quite a few audience members into paying clients. I thought my coach's idea sounded really good. There was just one little problem. I hated going to networking groups and I hated the idea of having to hustle up speaking engagements low alone doing promotions to sign people up for consultations. I'd already spent years involved in networking groups and it's not that I dislike the people who typically attended these groups. They were fine but I always left with a feeling that I was a little hallowed out. I wondered why I was spending three or more hours out of every day doing these meetings when I always felt so depressed and shitty when I left them. When I told my coach how I felt about going to even more networking events he told me yes most people don't really enjoy networking events but this is the price I paid in order to have that six-figure practice I was dreaming of. What I heard him say was I had to spend a lot of time doing things I didn't like that didn't make me happy in order to have the thing that would make me happy. Now this is something I spent my entire life believing that I had to do things that weren't fun but were necessary in order to have what I wanted. The problem I kept finding was that after all the slogging and work I didn't really enjoy the rewards all that much. For example at the beginning of my career I was absolutely certain I wanted to get a high-level job in consumer research. I worked in a low-paying grunge job at an advertising agency for three years and then I took off two years to get my MBA. I got my dream job but realized after a couple years that I didn't really enjoy consumer product marketing very much I ended up leaving the field entirely. I don't regret the time and effort I spent it was a good learning experience but one thing I learned was to be a little skeptical when I'm told about the dues I have to pay in order to have what I want to at least take the time to decide is this really worth it. Initially I played along with my coach's plan. I attended lots of networking meetings and worked hard to book speaking engagements and it worked kind of. People took me up on my 20-minute consulting offer and I got a few paid consulting engagements as a result. My coach was thrilled and told me it was only going to get better. When I expressed again how much I disliked how I was spending my time my coach would keep telling me just think about how you're going to spend all that money or just think about how good it will feel to be helping these clients that I was so unhappy during those months. I felt like I was a fraud and not a fraud in the sense that I wasn't qualified but in the sense that I was having to be a perfect person I was not. It sucked. One issue I don't see addressed in the super driven world of consulting and coaching entrepreneurs is that one size just doesn't fit all. The people who are typically successful are people who have a natural ability to self-promote and they enjoy what I will call the sales game. They find getting the sale and the money intoxicating. I want to emphasize I don't mean any of this in a bad way. I have huge respect for good sales people but it's not the way I'm wired. I felt like I was a cat who had hired a dog as a coach to show me how I could be a dog and enjoy the perks of being a dog. No matter how much a cat may want to be a dog, no amount of coaching or desire is going to make a cat enjoy being a dog. After spending tens of thousands of dollars I told my coach I didn't want to work with him anymore. The coach was disappointed. He told me I was so close and couldn't I just suck it up and keep at the networking and speaking for a few more months but everything in my body was saying no and I parted ways with the coach. My only regret is that I didn't say no as soon as the coach wanted me to start hustling for speaking gigs. I've been in the business world for many years and I found that there is almost an infinite amount of information and resources on succeeding through perseverance but there is very little good information on the wisdom of quitting when something doesn't fit. When I stopped working with the business development coach I felt like I was a quitter and that there was something wrong with me but it was a huge relief not to have to slog through all those networking events. I believe that there is a wide variety of people with a wide variety of temperaments and gifts. I also believe if you are the type of person who wants to use your gifts to make a positive difference and have a business there are ways you can be successful. There isn't just one way to be successful and we can find approaches that work for us. The lessons I took from this experience were first of all no amount of fuck you money or future glory is going to make you happy if you hate the process required to get that money. Sometimes the wisest thing to do is to quit when it's clear the fit isn't right. Number three you won't find a better way to do things if you're mired in doing things that make you miserable. Number four knowing yourself what makes you happy and what you really want is the first step into creating a happier more prosperous life. And finally number five you don't have to be making six figures a year to be happy and successful. May we find ways to make our gifts and services visible in ways that feel truly good. Judy Murdock marketing rootworks coach writer and artist. [BLANK_AUDIO]