Are you trying to gain independence, but feel like your mom or parents are treating you like a child, or just don’t understand you? Maybe you want to have a friendship with them but it feels like your mom is just momming you all the time. You’d like them to JUST LISTEN and not always tell you what do you, BUT also give wise advice when you need it (and actually ask for it).
You don’t want them to talk to you like a 10 year old every time you chat, and just want a better relationship with your parents while in college. All this ties into the mental peace aspect of my podcast because relationship struggles can bring stress and anxiety. Ain’t nobody got time for that while you’re trying to figure out how to pay for college without student loans too!
My friend Jeannie is the voice behind the podcast “Raising Her Confidently,” and has come on to share how to develop a better relationship with your mom or parents in general through effective and respectful boundaries and communication. Find her at RAISING HER CONFIDENTLY | Parenting Teens, How to Talk to Teens, Family Communication, Raising Teen Girls on Apple Podcasts
Come join our Facebook Christian College Girls Community at → tinyurl.com/karacommunity
Related Episodes:
140 - Worrying about tomorrow even though you have faith? You’re normal. 3 steps to lean into Jesus and find peace while navigating anxiety and depression in college
270 - Tried Getting Off My Antidepressant and Failed - College Depression and Anxiety Convo
123 - Are You an Introvert with Social Anxiety? How to Juggle the Overwhelm of College and Fear of the Unknown
P.S. Also find me at…
Instagram --> @moneyandmentalpeace
YouTube: Kara's Quest - YouTube
Email --＞ info@moneyandmentalpeace.com
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Are you worried about how to pay for college? Stressed because it’s so expensive? Are you having trouble finding scholarships, or all you find don’t apply to you? Overwhelmed with all things school and money?
Welcome fam! This podcast will help you find and get scholarships, avoid student loans and maybe even graduate college debt-free!
Hey! I’m Kara, a Christian entrepreneur, amateur snowboarder, and scholarship BEAST! I figured out how to not only finish college debt-free, but I even had $10k left over in the bank after graduation. (& btw, my parents weren’t able to help me financially either!)
During school, I was worried about paying for next semester. I couldn’t find scholarships that worked specifically for me, and didn’t know how to get started while juggling homework and keeping up with ALL.THE.THINGS.
But dude, I learned there was a better way! With God’s direction, I tested out of classes, and found the perfect scholarships, grants, internships, and weird budget hacks that helped me go from overwhelmed to debt-free with $10k in the bank–all with God on my side.
... and I’m here to walk you through this, too.
If you are ready to find scholarships specific to you, learn to manage your money well, and have enough money to kill it at college, this pod is for you!
So grab your cold brew and TI-89, and listen in on the most stress-free and debt-free class you’ve ever attended: this is Money and Mental Peace.
Topics in this episode: I am considering transferring schools. My parents are 100% against me transferring to the better school. I feel like it is a good decision to transfer even though the college is more expensive, the connections are so much better. My parents mentioned me getting a loan but they won’t help me get one. My parents are helping me pay for classes, but we are a single-income family. depression, anxiety, stress, anxiety symptoms, anxiety medication, anxiety disorder, depression drugs, depression memes, anxiety treatment, anxiety test, antidepressant, eating disorder, OCD, OCD symptoms, antidepressants, eating disorder binge eating, antidepressants medications, eating disorder symptoms, ocd intrusive thoughts, intrusive thoughts, control freak, twitches, anxious, angry, hangry, hanxious, hormones, cry, crying, tears, sad, sadness, sleep, insomnia, therapy, therapist, serotonin, dopamine, therapy aid, mental health, therapy mental health, SSRI, selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, serotonin reuptake inhibitor, relationships with parents, boundaries with parents, boundaries with family, communication, conflict resolution, relationship of parents, examples of boundaries with toxic parents, setting boundaries with a toxic parent, setting boundaries with difficult elderly parents, poor relationships with parents, setting boundaries with older parents, establishing boundaries with parents, generation z relationship with parents, setting boundaries with parents as adults
Does it feel like your parents are trying to control you while you're in college? Or treat you as a child, either way, it could be on a higher level or a lower level of they want to nurture you but don't even treat you as an adult. There's many different levels, but in college we really want good relationships with our parents, both a gaining independence so we can make our decisions but also going to them for actually helpful and purposeful advice when we need it, right? Basically, we want to be friends with our parents in college, or no I did. So, you want to do it yourself but need your parents at the same time. I have a friend, my friend Jeannie, who has the podcast, raising her confidently about how to help moms interact with their teen girls, but I thought I'd flip it on the other side because she has some young adult children and about what moms and parents are thinking when they are trying to let go of their kids as they go to college. Yes, I called you guys a kid, I do that to lots of people but you're adults, but like your parents kid, right? Do you feel like they're trying to control you? Do you feel like you're 10 years old when they start to talk with you and tell you exactly what to do or maybe don't empathize or validate anything you're feeling or just any of it? This topic ties into mental piece aspect of my podcast name, money and mental piece because with relationship struggles hanging overhead while you're trying to pay for college, like, no, that can be overwhelming, ain't nobody got time for that, right? We're going to talk about how to have a relationship with your mom and parents in general through boundaries and communication while you are in college university in school, secondary school weather. You are living away from home or at home, both have its own concerns. At home, maybe you're still used to it, but you're in a different level now and communication is different with your parents and at school, maybe they want to call you all the time or you don't feel like they give you, they know what you're going through and can give you the best advice or they always want to give you advice and never just want to listen to what you have to say, right? There's so many aspects to this, but I really think, Janie, for coming on, we're going to have a great conversation, guys. Let's get into it. Hey girl, welcome to Money and Mental Peace. Do you want to find scholarships and avoid student loans? You find yourself googling, easy scholarships and how to pay for college. You feel overwhelmed with life in general that you can't even think about paying for next semester. Hey, I'm Cara and in college, I too was worried if I was good at money. I couldn't find scholarships that worked specifically for me and I didn't know how to get started while juggling homework and all the things. But that changed through prayer and God's direction. I tested out of classes, learned to budget and found those perfect scholarships and even had $10,000 left over in the bank after graduation. At BTW, my parents weren't able to help me financially either. If you're ready to find scholarships specific to you, manage your money well and just stop being broke. Then grab your cold brew and TA89 because class is now in session. Before we talk to Jeannie, if you're new here, I want to let you know about our Facebook group called Christian College Girl Community. You can come over there and post questions about paying for college without student loans, scholarships, anything that's on your mind. As well as, sure, what's going on in your relationships, have you ever wanted to just be like, I am at a loss, I ask Google, they have different advice, but I just want to ask someone who has gone through this. Come in our Facebook group, ask me questions that are on your mind around paying for college and scholarships and what's going on with your school situation. And I'll both tell you what I know and just pray with you. So head on over. You can go to the link tinyurl.com/karacommunity, that is, Kara with a K community with AC, tinyurl.com/karacommunity for some free community and free advice. Come ask me your questions. All right, let's get into it. Hey, guys, and welcome back to Money and Mental Peace with my friend, Jeannie, who have never had the privilege of actually pronouncing her last name. So I'm going to have her pronounce it. Say who she is. Tell about her podcast and a little bit about herself. How are you, Jeannie? I'm doing great and it's okay. I have many people that have mispronounced it many a time. So I appreciate you giving me a chance to say it. I'm Jeannie Boldumero, and I am the host of raising her confidently and a mentor and, of course, creator for moms of tween teen girls so they can create open communication with them. I from sunny San Diego, literally it's still sunny. We're our highs about going to be 78. Don't be jealous. Wow. I know. And then I have three kids of my own two young adults and one older teenager who is actually starting college early I say college and quotes. She's a trained ballerina and off studying on her own thousands of miles away from me. And we have three for babies, and I've been married to my husband for 23 years. That's awesome. Thank you. So yeah, so we're here today kind of a little different that I haven't talked about anybody. Oh, geez of the podcast. I have branched out in different areas to like body image and mental health in different areas and in different things around college, girls, college students. But today, let me let me just pinpoint a few things. Anyone listening like you're probably wanting to get scholarships, trying to pay for college. Be nice to do it debt free or just student loans are scary, right? Maybe your parents had them. Maybe there's clashes talking about money. Maybe you have parents who are like so not in your life to be helpful or encouraging or like don't listen to your problems just want to tell you what to do whatever, or even just a friendship or are like too clingy and won't let you have some independence. Finally, you know, there's just a range of things with parents of anyone I'm talking with. If you're going into college soon or you've been in college, and I thought Jean, you would be a great person to talk about from this other angle of staying connected with your parents while trying to do all the adult things, having the balance of independence and friendship. So that a, just because you want a relationship with them, and that's the most important and be tied to like our podcast, pain point and tagline, like maybe they know of some scholarships and maybe they can talk about with you, finances, you could even ask them advice that wouldn't be them hovering over you, but would have sure advice that directs you in actually a great direction. Like we just would like a good relationship with their parents while we're transitioning into friendship phase right. So my questions are we're just going to be conversational, you know, Jeannie has experience with this. And my first general question is broad and I'm sure will nitpick a little more into it. But how in the world do my listeners stay connected with their parents while trying to gain this other sort of independence. Sometimes it's a weird balance. Oh yeah, totally. I understand it because I was a college kid. Adult decades ago, but I also am going through it with my own kids who are of college age, and allowing them to be independent in this stage. I have to tell you, if you're listening that this is a stage that parents actually covet. They look forward to the day they can become friends with their children. And you guys are at the sweet spot. And they might not necessarily show it or act like it. But they really do. This was something they were looking forward to going through that tumultuous team stage and having gone through it and passing you along to college or whatever area that has led you after high school that they truly want this friendship with you. They truly want a relationship with you regardless of how they show it. Right. So what is the tricky part? How do you stay connected with your parents without, you know, feeling that, Oh gosh, here we go. I'm 10 years old again. She's telling me what to do. Believe it or not. I think one is grace. Right. You know, we talked about how God gives us the unlimited gift of grace and how it's a gift that we get to receive. But also, young adults, adulting you get to adult now is giving some grace back to your parents because, like I always say that kids don't come with the manual. We only come with the experience that what we've lived through. Right. And sometimes we forget about what it feels like to come into adulthood. What it feels like to begin as a young adult and really fly in independence. Right. That desire to want to do it yourself, but yet need your parents at the same time. Right. So give grace to your parents because they're trying to shift to, you know, parents aren't a switch for years. They've guided you, cared for you, almost told you what to do. And let you make some choices regardless of their consequences or not. Right. And also celebrated in the wise choices you've made. So having for them to fully let go and really release you to fly is very hard for them. So grace, grace, grace. I actually talked to a lot of moms about shifting their role and how it can be hard until they notice that it's getting in the way of the relationship. Then the shift isn't necessary, but if it's getting in the relationship, the way of getting in the way of your relationship with your parents, this is where you get to communicate back. Right. So the next is really my advice to you is to really set that. Do you mind? I pause that real quick. I'll switch to the next thing. I love what you talked about how the parents were raised because if anyone's listening to, why do I always say that? Of course they're listening if they're listening to this. Anyways, whoever's listening, what's up with like your grandparents? Can you imagine if you would have know how even if you love your grandparents or they stayed in their ways and different things? Can you imagine growing up in that household? Maybe your parents are either like that or they tried to do the exact opposite because it frustrated them. That's even understanding and even maybe asking your mom and dad about when they were this age, what they went through. There might trigger something that's even like my mom wouldn't stop calling me every day and then you'd be like very humbly and kindly. That's how I'm feeling when you do A, B, and C. But there's a communication. You're now given the privilege of being an adult that can learn to communicate and set boundaries to develop friendship. So what did I, would you agree with that? And then how would you go into like you were going to go into the practical? But I just wanted to throw out there like you can actually ask your parents how it was for them growing up. I think they would love to hear that what I would think so, Jeannie, wouldn't you want your kid to come and ask? What about when you were a kid? I feel like they would love that. Oh my gosh, yes they would. It's, we have a plethora of experiences and from the experiences come wisdom. So yes, we would love to share our stories of how it was like back in the day or how it was like at your time during your age with my own parents. You know, I share a lot of stories with my own kids about how my parents parented me. And sometimes they're in shock because they don't see that in their grandparents with them, obviously because their grandparents. But it's such a connection point when you want to hear stories. You know, if you want to connect with your parents in a rapid way is ask about their stories, and they will gladly share it with you. That's a great way to connect. And then second it's boundaries really you know you're entitled to creating boundaries for yourself as well. Okay now these aren't negative boundaries like I'm going to build walls so that you can never speak to me mom. It's really healthy boundaries when I say boundaries I mean healthy boundaries. That means clearly setting realistic expectations when it comes to your relationship with your parents, right. They are now your friends, right. But I did say it does take some time for both of you to adjust to what that's going to look like right, but when you think about friendships think of your own friendships with your, with your friends. You know, how do you connect with your friends, what do you, what do you talk about with your friends, even with adult friends that you have that are mentors to you. How do you speak to them when do you go to them. How do you receive information from them, right. And that is the same type of posture you want to have with your parents, but in a different way. It's easy for me to say that your, your mom needs to let go of being mom but that's not true. Your mom will always be your mom. But she will, she will always be your mom she just needs to shift a role right. And you get to help guide her into being that friendship into being a friend with her and just reminding her that there are some things that you just want to talk about at a friendship and some things that you really don't need to resolve. So this is one thing I actually tell moms to ask their teens when they're talking so we talk about open communication and how to not over cross and over step boundaries so that girls don't shut down, right. And this is to you like how do I not shut down and feel like I'm 10 years old again when my parents start to talk to me. It's just being verbal. When you're about to talk to your mom or your dad. Just let them know, hey, I just need you to listen to this. I really don't need you to solve it. I just need you to listen to it. I don't need you to solve it. Because then that sets the expectation that you just need a listening ear. You want to kind of vomit and process what you have to say with them. It's a clear expectation that allows them to know that, okay, you just don't want me to solve. I can ask questions so that you can solve your own problem. And that helps with feeling like your parents are trying to control you. Right. So just be clear and just say I just need to share this with you. I don't need you to solve it for me. I love that. His expectation before the conversation. Would you say it could be helpful if at the end, like you could ask their advice on like a really small thing that they actually know about? Or would that send it too much into a spiral up and then let me solve all these other things. It could probably depend on the person, but I just wonder if that could change it into a friendship mode. Like, what would you ask your friends? Like, what should I watch on Netflix next? I mean, like your parents might actually want to have that kind of life relationship with you like that. Just right. Any thoughts around that? It depends on the conversation. Right. So if it's something that she just wants or he just wants to process. And they really don't want you to be talking to me about it. Like, for example, my daughter and I talk every day on FaceTime. There are some days she's just watching her face. And I just stare at her. Or she'll just talk to me and we'll just talk like Netflix movies we've watched. But there are some days where she loves her roommates, but she's exhausted to just simply be around the different dynamics of people and personalities that she just needs me to listen and not sit there and fix the situation. So sometimes parents don't know the difference. Right. They just want to fix things to make things okay for their kid, even when they're an adult. So if from the get go, there's a specific conversation. Like my daughter will say, I just need to tell you this. I don't need it to be solved. Then it's clear for me as the receiving in as mom that I know I'm just listening and I'm not going to sit here and correct her. Because if I do, I see it in her face that she's like, Oh, actually we go she's trying to correct me and she didn't really listen to what I was saying. So this is where on on the students behalf to connect with your parent. It's just simply being clear. Like tell them like, Hey, I'm about to share something. I just need you to listen. I'm just like decompressing. I don't really need it to be solved. So that way it doesn't go into this rabbit hole of like, Okay, I'm going to shut down now because he's trying. He or she's trying to control me or solve it when I don't need that. Right. I love that. That's the communication. What amazing thing would be able to like anyone. Someone might be listening to you and be like, I would love that. I would love to be able to have that where we could just talk in that Netflix or we could or I could legitimately ask certain questions, but then it wouldn't go off into giving advice and all these other things. So is there a time that on the opposite side of the coin that a helpful way for a daughter to ask their parents like, give me the mind of a parent, like when they truly need this advice, or even if it's tied into like financial or like scholarship type things like, to be honest, you guys out there, your parents might even have a scholarship connected with their job or no someone who does and it might not be scholarship and I'm not saying your relationship is only to get money, but just that's still an advice type of thing. Like what's a great way, Jeannie, and the mind of a parent for a student to approach their parents looking for actual advice, but trying to be maybe clear about it that it doesn't go off into a bajillion other tangents. Yeah, so I, I definitely would 100% agree that parents are a great source for wise counsel. They will definitely have your best interest at hand, for sure. But how do you approach a parent about seeking advice, like whether it be like scholarships within the work or help, simply asking, Hey, I need your help. Can you help me with this one thing, be very specific like I need your help, can you help me with this one thing. And parents saying even one thing, it's like, yeah, the one thing, yes, the one thing, because parents can get that, like it's one thing, right, and if they still like go and like kind of like overreach, right, that's where the grace comes into play where you're just like, okay, I just needed the one thing and if you got your answer that's totally fine you got your answer just know that in the next couple of years, especially when you're going to college some, you know, and maybe living at home still. And parents feel like they have this authority over you too. I mean, granted, if you're living at home, there are some rules that you still have to follow, but the transition between friendship and coach being coached will be this great area for some time. If you can be respectful, clear, right, and gracious, consistently, right, then you will start to develop this connection with your parents, where it starts to become more friendship based, right. And over time, as your parents start to adjust to your relationship will start to shift, right, it's not going to be the same. They're not going to be telling you what to do, especially if you don't live at home. Because you have this space, that is a physical boundary, right, but if you are at home going to college still, that might be a little bit more tough. But if you're specific, have those clear boundaries and gracious, then you will be fine consistently because you can only control what you can control you can't control the behavior of your parents. Right, just like what I tell my parents, or my mom's, you can't, you can only control what you can control you can't control your behavior of your daughter. So, looking at the big picture, right, what do you really truly want from, from your parents. Yes, advice, but overall you want friendship. And what are the small things you're going to let go of that will benefit your friendship over time. And I love that the small things let go of because there might be some instances that something comes up, and it's probably just best to shrug it off and give it grace. But perhaps there becomes a pattern of something happens like three, four times, then maybe you can develop kind of a strategy of talking around that or communicating around that perhaps. The exact exact science formula, but there could probably be mountain or molehills depends on either one. Yes, and I think communication in general it's it's handling conflict resolution that's a life skill that I think anybody needs to learn, but also practicing that on your parents if this becomes a constant conflict for you being okay with addressing it with your parents, you are an adult. In a gracious way respectful way right I think tone words and timing matter tone words and timing matter, especially when it comes to addressing a conflict you may have with your parents. Yes, I'm writing all this down because she doesn't know this, but I lived at home all through college and into my 20s and there were some really hard times around that instance. Interestingly with different dynamics more with my mom somewhat that I was looking more for friendship, but there was other spaces we were shifting into. My dad too but he's more one that will give me advice if I ask for it and is not always just. It's an interesting dynamic, but I wrote some very specific things down being respectful clear and gracious tone words and timing, which I love because you know, like if you have roommates and they're not mourning people and you really need to address a hard thing but you know, they are just like dead in the morning. Would you really talk to them in the morning? I mean you might have it's the only time that there's a chance but like if you have other opportunities like transitioning that into the mindset with your parents. I remember there were some instances and this is back like high school to college and it was like, or even in high school I think, and my mom would want help with something when she needed help with something, which is great like I can be helpful, but I was in the middle of a project or something and I was getting to the point and I was still a minor, you know at this point, but there was still a time I remember eventually we had a conversation where I was like, I would love to be helpful, but can we like plan these times or if you need help with supper or whatever because like do you want me to show you my schedule because like in high school eventually I was handling all my schedule and all my own things I was like, it's so hard for me to stop in the middle of this and like then eventually like she got that you know and how hard that was and then also I would feel kind of resentful around that and then she's like felt like, oh you don't want to help around the house now because you're a teenager and I was like no I'm like I'm being responsible I'm trying to get an A, like there were some hard stuff even at that age and then going into high school or college because I did live at home and eventually I, and it was interesting I am not saying this to like toot my own horn because it was painful to learn but I eventually did have to learn like what are you expecting of me because you guys could just say I don't live at home anymore you can just don't not kick me out but just say we need these things if you're going to live at home and if they didn't lay those down then I would be like then why do I have to do them if they're not the expectation like I would get confused that's another thing that I've found with parents and again I'm not saying I'm the best at this because I've had a lot of frustration in this but words that I've found that have worked well with my parents is the word confused if there's a literal opposite of expectation boundaries versus what was said I often have gone to them and been like you told me this but it feels like you're expecting this I'm confused and people usually want to help solve the confusion so I don't know what you think about the word confused but I've loved that one Oh no I love the word confused because that's what I use too is because if you're not clear there's confusion and that confusion can be assumed as rebellion but it's not or attitude right it's simple it's simply confusion because what you're expecting and what I interpreting are not the same right so having again going back to clear expectations using verbiage that's understood one way and I do this with our with our boys who are young adults right now is we actually meet with each other on a monthly basis to kind of talk about hey what's going on with the house like this is where I need you to help you know and communicating and have a giving each other space to communicate like hey this is the Christmas season I'm working 40 hours I won't be able to so we understand it's almost and this is what we talk we we live as roommates and I think parents you know can sometimes feel like it's their home yes but forget that they're an adult and that this is a roommate situation right and letting go of the I'm telling you what to do to these are the expectations so we can live together I actually actually had a conversation that I was like can we be roommates now because I had started to pay rent and like do other stuff too and and and it had to get to that point because I was like I just can't drop everything and and go do this other thing I love that and yes this is so cool actually this is like I probably needed you like 10 years ago when you talked about you wanted to hear about my stuff so many years ago because I actually started asking my mom if we could do logistics meeting once a week because whenever I would see her I would feel like we were talking logistics and I told her I just want to hang out with you or like say hey or tell what we're talking about in life but it's always logistics and by that I could mean any sort of planning for family events the house caregiving we help my grandma and so eventually we did we we I mean if there's stuff that we needed quick we text each other but we would save things that could be saved until Saturday at lunch and we'd have lunch together and we'd talk logistics and then we leave them be that was amazing and now I'm like I'm not even married but I'm like I'm gonna need to have some logistics meetings I don't want to be the wife who if I'm ever married who's like nagging on questions but like you need questions answered but like trying to do it all at once we weren't trying to tie this into the whole relationship opinion like romantic but there's a big difference there on what are we are we is it mother and child are we roommates are we like what define the relationship are we engaged are we the friend relationship however you say that like are we parent child like just define the relationship I guess it seems like what you're saying right yeah define the relationship and set those appropriate boundaries right yeah boundaries as a high school student is not the same when you're in college or even a young adult with your parents so having being okay to even starting those conversations like you did with your parents sometimes parents don't even think about like what you need they just know like this is what I think you need but they don't think about what you may need and they won't know unless you communicate that and so being okay with coming up to them and asking for a logistics logistics meeting once a month or even just establishing okay so what is our living situation if you're living at home in college through college or even logistics being away like what are your expectations it's really setting those boundaries with relationships it's okay to have boundaries and relationships I even have boundaries within my own marriage you know what I mean it's okay to have those boundaries and being clear with them with whoever you are relating with so you can have that healthy relationship and connect in a healthy way right so I just, yeah guys I was just on Jeannie's podcast talking about like talking to daughters about money and all the things and then having this like the personal finance the boundaries like this is some of the most fun I've had at a podcast I just got to say I love these kinds of conversations it's so much like all I can say is just going back to like I mean I'm not saying you have to have a total contract with your parents but like what's actually been said or written in stone and what's assumed you might even need to sit down and write down what's been written what's been said and what is up in the air and bring that to your parents but I just I love these boundary type things it's so cool I had a friend who lived not only outside the home but states away go into college whatever he'd come home his parents were like he's home and they were all excited but those that were like at home like he was treated as a guest and though the kids still at home were like oh we still have to do dishes and all this stuff and they I mean it wasn't like a deep resentment thing but it was kind of like annoying you know it's like there's a big difference living at home elsewhere boundaries and you can choose if you're going home from Christmas if you go home and live with your parents during Christmas or if you need to get a hotel not that you might have money for a hotel but I'm just saying like you're part of this equation two it takes both so I love it yeah yes and it's it's getting out of the mindset that you need to be told what to do all the time it's it's wise counsel from your parents it's wise counsel like I said respectful and clear and gracious to allow your parents some time to realize that you are an adult now you know yes even if you're living at home right it's it's it's you were talking about contract we actually have that in our house we have expectations from our point of view and then they my kids fill out their own expectations from their point of view and so we come together to see what's realistic and what we can come come together with and agree upon and that's what we agree upon for at least the year right that is so healthy that just seems great I love that yeah I know it it seems so mechanical but it seems healthy right that's what I'm saying it's like if it's concrete and that's set aside you don't have to like you were saying nag over little things because you've already had this concrete practical agreement that you have so much room to build relationship around because you have your boundaries set you know you're not crossing over boundaries I love that this probably could also apply to roommates guys if you're a college just take everything we said and talk to roommates this is amazing right well those are all the general relationship exactly these are the general specific questions I had but I just wanted to kind of leave it open and say if you had any other other advice or also reason you know tell us about your podcast and I know it's geared towards the moms but I do feel like college students who are at and they're adults now it's not like moms you know dealing with like tweens but adults now I think could also use the insight and boundary stuff you lay out so just any other advice encouragement and how that your stuff might help them too yeah of course you know keep the communication open with your parents they I want you to know that even if you are in the mode of being independent figuring out what what you want to do with your life on a path or trajectory of accomplishing what your dreams you talked about this on my podcast your dreams and how they're being fulfilled that you have a team of people back home who are your parents rooting for you who have your back and that just knowing that this is a transition period like I said earlier for you guys to kind of figure out and sift where your roles are and what your relationships going to look like from here right allowing yourself to still be respectful respectful doesn't mean that I am this child having to be obedient respectful means that you are choosing your relationship or friendship over whatever little thing that might be bothering you at the moment right so always choose relationship because I think as you grow older those relationships with your parents will just grow so much more richer and full of wise counsel and it's something that I just can't explain with my own parents but yeah I would say just continue to know that you have people backing you and you have a team of people cheering you on as you pursue what you need to pursue and what God has purposed in your life I love that like whenever I was not living at home and then I would see my mom like outside like going out to lunch I'd be like hi I missed you you know like there's a time that it comes and then other times it's a new day to day it's hard so I can see that I love that it's true and my daughter always says because I miss you so much yeah and it's different like I we just actually tomorrow what's tomorrow Wednesday our 100th episode on raising her confidently she's on and she talks about how she gives advice to moms about how to get your girl to open up to you oh I love that yeah so if you have a chance listen to 100 episode 100 on raising her confidently or have your mom listen to the 100th episode of raising her confidently she understand like this dynamic I know your mom is desiring this friendship your mom is desiring this friendship of wanting to be in your life at a different level so send her there yeah send her send her her podcast genie's podcast her but in a very tactful humber way like this is how I'm feeling not like you need to do this because that will turn them off just like it would turn you off yes tone timing and words so thank you so much Kara for having me on if you need to find me or want to pass information to your parents to your mom specifically it's raising her raising her confidently dot com and she'll find some resources there to better connect with you so yeah looking forward to it I love that I love this yeah these were really fun actually like sometimes podcast swaps are great but you know like I don't feel quite as passionate about that you know I mean but like the great listeners but I love this thanks guys until next time we'll give you all sorts of different opportunities to help you go to college with enough money and mental peace is really ties into the mental peace part because relationship struggles hanging over your head when you're trying to pay for college is overwhelming so we're here for you go check out genie and raising her confidently dot com and thanks for hanging out with us see you guys next time wasn't that awesome if you love this episode head on over into our Facebook group Christian college girl community to let us know what you're going to do to help build up communication and boundaries or let us know if you have any other questions I'm there to answer questions for free the link to get there is in our description below and also you can go to tiny URL dot com slash Kara community Kara with a K community with a C that's tiny URL dot com slash Kara community alright guys Christmas is coming Merry Christmas see you all later bye hey girl I hope you enjoyed today's episode if so would you take 30 seconds and share it with a friend who wants to get scholarships and avoid student loans just like you okay now I'm off to hopefully play some ultimate frisbee I'll meet you back here in a few days for another episode bye [MUSIC PLAYING]
