In my recovery I practiced mindfulness. Unfortunately it was not popular at the time I was seeing patients. I truly believe it would have been immeasurably helpful to them, some of them. The best description I’ve heard of it is that your thoughts are like a waterfall and the goal is to find a space behind the waterfall: We are not our thoughts.
Of course this does remind me of Alicia’s assertion that Boda existed in ‘the shadow behind the mirror’. A kind of dark mindfulness. A malevolent consciousness that exists behind our perceptions of reality.
There is more to this world then what is reflected back to us and I must now return to Ravenscourt.
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Monday, matinee. Your weekly series of live plays, classic drama and comedy, and a variety of audio drama from the mutual audio network. The following audio drama is rated PG-13, suggesting that children under the age of 13 should listen accompanied with an adult. Epic Productions Presents Raven's course, an original limited series podcast created by David Horgan. Number 4, Physician Heal Thyself You know, I'm embarrassed by how out of breath I am from the effort of climbing in that back window. I caught my legs slightly, too. It's more of a deep scratch than anything. But it would be a terrible irony after all of my mental and spiritual battles with this place if it took me out with tetanus. There's a metallic taste in the air, almost feels like I'm getting drunk. I think it's just adrenaline. I hope it is. I've been thinking of coming back to Raven's course for so long, but I hadn't really planned it at all. I didn't bring any tools with me, just this recorder. I would make a terrible cat burger. I passed a piece of graffiti on my way in that red, abandoned old hope ye who enter. Abandoned with spout rock. I guess people are drawn to the darkness in the world. And it seems the opposite is true, too. I'm walking down the corridor at the back of the kitchen area. If this is a horror movie, there will probably be rats scurrying around and a cat would jump out at me at some stage. But birds don't even fly overhead here. I've seen nothing living since crossing the threshold. The batteries on my flashlight would probably run out, but I intentionally came here early in the morning and far too old to be afraid of the dark, but in this place, I am. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but the building has not aged as naturally as one would expect. I guess unnatural things are resilient to organic decay, but the same amount of time has washed over us both. It is not what I remember, and it is far from what I had built up in my mind. It has the appearance of a dementia patient who is still trapped in the amber of their glory days. But there is a glimmer of recognition in its eyes. In my recovery, I practiced mindfulness. Unfortunately, it was now popular at the time I was seeing patients. I truly believe it would have been immeasurably helpful to them - some of them. The best description I've heard of it is that your thoughts are like a waterfall and the goal is to find a place behind the waterfall. We are not our thoughts. Of course, this does remind me of Alicia's assertion that Boda existed in the shadow behind the mirror, a kind of dark mindfulness, a malevolent consciousness that exists behind a perception of reality. Maybe there is more to this world than what is reflected back to us. It seems like the sun is setting. It's definitely getting darker, but that's impossible. What time is it? I couldn't have been here all day. I only just got here. I'm not trapped here. I could just leave and come back another day. But I've fixed my courage to this post. I don't think I could stop coming back here another day. In fact, I don't know how many more days my stomach will allow me to have. I'm waiting to hear back on some tests. The doctor is not optimistic. I was never a fan of medical doctors, socially or professionally. I find them cold. The old me would have questioned if this obsession with Raven's Court was a distraction from the microscopic battle going on inside me, one I have little or no control over. But assist on my colon didn't cause a patient to go missing 20 years ago. It didn't drive Alicia crazy and it certainly didn't write me a fucking letter. Jesus. I really have that warm white wine feeling in my stomach and my head is... Hey, hey, where you going? There's a little girl in a red dress at the end of the corridor. I need to get her out of here. Don't run. I'm standing outside the door in my office. Are you okay? Where is your mom? She's looking out the window. He's giving me the silent treatment. They're attacking you all over her faith. Who would do this to a child? Do you want to come with me? I'll take you home. She's shaking her head. Who did that to your face? She's just staring at me. I swear. Every time I look away the tattoos seem to shift on her face. I'm a doctor. It's okay. You could trust me. I'm not going to hurt you. I think I'm more afraid than you are. Are you alone? She's shaking her head. Are you bolder? She's shaking her head again. Shapes on her face are shifting. Her lips aren't moving but I can hear words, terrible words. She's holding on her hand. The voices they'll tell me everything if I go with her. The secrets, the truth, answers. This is my place. I have to get out of here. If I stay I'll never leave. The mountain, this place will open up and swallow me. I want to go home. No, I want to go home. Get away from me. I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamt that I lived in a mirror. I could only be seen when other people looked at me. I'd scream and scream but no one could hear me. I had to wait until I looked. Raven's Court stars Mark Daughton and Irene Kallahar, produced and edited by Epic Productions, distributed by cornucopia radio. the world.
