Prison Bound and Determined Buzz "Scoop' Crackerjack Thomas and Detective Haartte travel to the town of Convenience to speak with former Little Wicker Baskets executive, Brax Higgins. That could prove awkward. Higgins is currently in jail, and it was an investigation by Thomas and Haartte that put him there. But Buzz and Haartte believe Higgins has information critical to finding the Waffle Batter sphere. If only they could be a certain that he will cooperate. Meanwhile, at Camp Parmenter, Chief and 10 Toes finally start to get some idea of what lies ahead for them when Captain Broughha gives his fellow Magenta Fedoras a briefing.
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This episode is brought to you by Snapple, want to know another Snapple fact? The first hot air balloon passengers were a sheep, a duck, and a rooster. Ridiculous! Check out Snapple.com to find ridiculously flavored Snapple near you. It's time for Friday Follies, right here on the Mutual Audio Network. The following audio drama is rated PG for Parental Guidance recommended. The Comedy Forecast Network. Let's dog ear this for now. This is Comedy Forecast Episode 741, Better Days, Chapter 9. Brought to you by the Comedy Forecast Patrons on Patreon.com. Thank you. Please consider joining Steve, Bryn, Gary, and the other super cool people who support the show for as little as a dollar a month. This year's original 31 chapter story is called Better Days. To hear it from the beginning, just go to Comedy Forecast, all one word with the number 4.com/2022. Now, here's Chapter 9, Prison Bound and Determined. Previously, Buzz scoop Crackerjack Thomas happened upon Cindy and Detective Hart, talking about problems associated with the tunnels. Needing a major scoop to save his job, Buzz was ready to report the story. However, Cindy promised him an exclusive on everything if he would remain silent for just a few days. Trusting Cindy and needing to stay close to the action, Buzz agreed. As our Chapter begins, Detective Hart and Buzz have taken a ride-share to the town of Convenience, located just south of Chasm Valley. They're here to speak with disgraced former Little Wicker Baskets executive, Brax Higgins. It was their investigation that sent Higgins to jail. The pair made their way to the visitors lobby and are greeted by the prisoners' new warden, Dr. Dwayne Cher. Ah, Detective Hart, Mr. Thomas, welcome back to the Sony Betamax Bastille. The sign out, French reads Howard Johnson's clamps. I'm working through the backlog of naming rights requests. The contract may be old, but money is money. You missed the pan-ampenitentiary. You know why we're here, right? To speak to Brax Higgins? Yes. This way, gentlemen. Mr. Higgins will be meeting with you in the crazy, eddy visitation room. Hang on, Cher. What are you trying to pull? You do know that Thomas and I have been here before, right? Yes, which is why you didn't need to go through another background check. I see what Hart is getting at in his own sad way. The visiting rooms are down that hallway. The old ones are, but I'm having those turned into the pets.com yoga studio. You two get to be the first people to utilize the new, kinder, gentler visitors room. What was wrong with the old one? For one thing, as you know, you had to use payphones to speak to prisoners, and no one carries cash anymore. I do. Naturally. Ah, here we are. The smell of freshly painted walls fills the room, while soft, multicolored lighting sets a calming tone. Yeah, is this a prison or a nursery? We're going to pump in a wonderful fresh pine scent once the paint dries and watch this. I can adjust the lighting right from my phone. I don't see any difference. Oh, wrong app. I think I just put the infirmary on code red. I better go check on that. Brax will be brought to that window over there. The one with the unicorn stickers? No, no, the one with the minions and Paw Patrol decals. I don't like any of this. Exactly. A prison should look like a prison. That's why they call it a prison. Ah, that's the kind of in-depth analysis you put into all your stories, isn't it? Look, we need to come up with a plan for how we're going to handle this interrogation. I figure I'll play expert detective while you play idiot reporter. You're not that good of an actor, Hart. How about I play the good reporter and you play with that box of crayons over there? What exactly is that supposed to mean? Face the facts. It was my award-worthy investigative reporting that put Higgins behind bars. As the two men argue, a prison guard escorts Brax Higgins into the room on the other side of the glass. The prisoner takes a seat and watches the heated discussion. Higgins, how long have you been there? Oh, don't let me stop you, gentlemen. That was very entertaining. And none of it involved singing. Nice work, Thomas. So much for your plan. Then let's get right into it, shall we? We know that you ran into Romeo's Sikes and the Badger people in 2020, Higgins. What is that? Some kind of Harry Styles cover band? I'm enraged. Is what I would say if I knew what you were talking about. Look, Higgins, in some article, you outright told a superior reporter that you ran into Sikes. Oh, right, the crazy guy with the filthy entourage, disgusting, always filling their faces with food, and not a single napkin between the lot of them. Yes, I crossed paths with him and them. It's hard to forget someone who's held up the bathroom line for that long. What of it? What do you want to know if he mentioned anything about a waffle batter's sphere? Ah, I see. And why would that clearly insane conversation about an all-powerful sphere interest you? Never mind. It doesn't matter. Why should I tell you to anything? You've got to be sent here. And now that you need something, you come and visit? Where were you all the other times? Did you think for one second about me? Sitting here in this name-changing jail? We were supposed to. Did you write me a letter and mail it? Filled with news about cake, beck, and sale. Here I sit, or ensued, one zip. No pockets, no bleeds, and no trim. Did you talk to the people who miss me? Must be some. If you look, I'm sure. Did you write me a letter and mail it? Describing the latest in control. Here I sit, miserable, I admit. No pockets, no bleeds, and no trim. Did you decide, don't let her forget him? Why'd your hands also self-righteously? May I remind you, Brax, you've only been in here two days. Look, Higgins, if you cooperate with us, things might go easier on you during your trial. I've already been convicted, you idiot. Fine, you want some information? I'll give it to you, with one of my famous signature rhyming puzzles. That's not a thing, you never did that before. Of course I did. No, you didn't. I didn't? Why did I think I did rhymes? Oh no, Billy is in my brain. Fine, so be it. This puzzling poem will blow your minds. No, that's messy. Just attend. The sphere you seek is rumored to have great power. To find it, you'll need more brain power. You just rhymed power with power. The place it is stored is not a mountain, desert, or fjord. Instead, gaze up to find a tall blank. Good luck figuring that. It's a tower, isn't it? What? Yep, it's definitely a tower. Thanks, Higgins. That was so hard. Anything else you want to rhyme at us? Like your ATM password? Give me a break, will you? Apparently I'm new at this. How about a poem that tells us where this tower is located? Oh no, I see what you're trying to do. You think you're clever, don't you? But you're sloppy. I detest sloppy. And dirty. And moist. How about instead, I give you a cryptic clue about the rest of what he told me. Yes, much easier. Lay it on us, genius. Go north, young man. Go on. No, that's it. Now you figure it out. God, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm ready to return to myself. You've got to give us more than that. I don't have to give you anything. You put me in here, just because I tried to eliminate Debbie Falmacher and take over the Little Wicker Basket Company. Which actually sounds pretty bad when I say it out loud. So I'm going to stop talking right now. And when was the last time someone dusted in here? Meanwhile, at Camp Parmenter, the small military base on the outskirts of Middling Fair, two members of the elite magenta fedora's team have returned from a morning working in the tunnels. We'll be back at it again at 0700 hours tomorrow, ten toes. Permission to speak freely, chief. Granted, what's on your mind? Chief, I've had to look busy working on that stupid bus for five hours today. Why are we going so slow on decommissioning the crawler? We could have finished up here weeks ago. Captain's orders, you know that. I'm sure he'll brief us when the time is right. Correct, chief. Captain, a ten-hut. At ease. Apologies, sir. Ten toes and I were just blowing off steam about today's detail. And you're both probably wondering why I ordered you to work so slow. It has crossed our minds, sir. As it should, I didn't have authorization to bring you up to speed on our assignment until just now. I thought our assignment was to deliver the crawler and decommission the crawler, sir. Did we do it backwards? The names are confusing, sir. No ten toes. You both did an outstanding job, but there is another layer to our assignment here. In that library at the end of the tunnels are a series of books. Harry Potter First Editions? No. The documentation on all those damned spheres they use down there. The ones that glow and make music? And the ones that provide water and power. Washington wants us to retrieve the books and bring them back for analysis. What did Little Miss No Sunshine say when you told her we were taking them? She refused, and calamity isn't going to make the request again. So, we are on our own. You mean the general is no longer in the loop on this? That's right, chief. This mission is on a need to know basis, and calamity doesn't need to know. What's the plan, sir? I've been authorized to secure those assets by any means necessary. And it's time we made our move. What does Captain Bruja have in mind? And what about those clues to the location of the waffle batter sphere? Can Cindy and the gang figure out their meaning and time to save the tunnels? Be sure to come back for chapter 10, A Towering Connection. In this episode, the part of Chief was played by Bonnie Kennedy. The part of Ten Toes was played by Paul Barry from the "A Window to the Magic" podcast, Window to the magic.com, and Warden Dr. D. Wayne Chure, as well as the narrator, were played by Gary J. Chambers. Gary J. Chambers, TheO.com. Additional voices, as well as story and music by Clinton Allward. Copyright 2022, All Rights Reserved. And remember to hear the story from the beginning, just go to Comedy Forecast, all one word with the number four.com/2022. But for now, that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye-bye. [MUSIC] [BLANK_AUDIO]
