Powerful problems Trying to win a bet with his boss, Buzz "Scoop" Crackerjack Thomas attempts to secure a studio in The Tunnels. But this is no ordinary wager. If Buzz does not deliver a viral story, he will lose his job. Cindy speaks with Detective Haartte, hoping the sleuth can help her find the Waffle Batter sphere. She does not have much time to find the sphere and try to stop the power and water problems happening in town. Haartte recounts how the power issues ruined one of his cases. Meanwhile, disgraced former Little Wicker Baskets executive, Brax Higgins, tries to get a moment of peace away from his cellmate, Bad Note Billy.
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The Mutual Audio Network, where Relaxation and Imagination blend. Listen responsibly. The following audio drama is rated PG for Parental Guidance. The Comedy Forecast Network. Let's dog ear this for now. This is Comedy Forecast Episode 739, "Batter Days," Chapter 7, brought to you by the Comedy Forecast Patrons on Patreon.com. Thank you. Please consider joining Barry, Amy, Chuck, and the other fine, upstanding individuals who support the show for as little as a dollar a month. This year's original 31-chapter story is called "Batter Days." To hear it from the beginning, just go to Comedy Forecast. All one word with the number four.com/2022. Now here's Chapter 7, "Powerful Problems." Previously in our story, Buzz Scoop Crackerjack Thomas had a "disagreement" with the new editor-in-chief of the Midling Fair Courier-Times Roman Bold Italic. Buzz insisted that there must be something headline-worthy going on inside the underground artists' community known as "The Tunnels." Now Buzz's very job depends on finding such a story. As this chapter begins, it is early morning on what will be another bright, sunny day in Midling Fair, but we cannot linger on the grass. We're headed back underground, into the tunnels. Buzz is walking up to the makeshift desk of the tunnel entrance, only to get an unpleasant surprise. "Great meanderings of Walt Mossberg, it can't be." "Hi, Denny Hillcrest here, and who are you?" "Hillcrest, it's me, Buzz Scoop Crackerjack Thomas, a sophisticated field reporter from the Midling Fair Courier-Times Roman Bold Italic. I mean, private citizen, nothing to see here, Buzz Thomas." "Wow, I must say the two of you look so much alike." "I heard that anyone can set up a studio in this place. For free. I thought I would set up a sort of radio station for the tunnels, you know, buy the tunnels, for the tunnels, all that. It's just for a hobby, so stop asking so many questions." "I love it." "Great, where do I go?" "Maybe the tunnel in Brexit, France?" "No, no, no, I mean here." "Oh, I wish I could assistingly help you, Clone Buzz, but we don't have any studios available. We feelingly occupied in the last one yesterday." "But you don't understand, we're just not a shock to anyone. I need to set up the studio. Not that my job depends on it, and I already asked you to stop asking all those questions." "That's it. I was out of here. How am I supposed to write my epic post-apocalyptic mutant-taunting love poems in this bloody place?" "Everybody did hear this, so, so positive." "I want no part of it. It stinks. I am leaving. I have never docked on this door and gave you no brow." "Thank you, ghosts of newspapers past. What was that, Private Buzz?" "Oh, nothing. Are you sure there are no studios available?" "Nope. None except that one that just opened up ten seconds ago." "Hey, would you like that one? Perfect." "All right, it's Studio 254. Ooh, it's super nice, too. It has a giant big window that faces right out onto the Underdome." "Underdome? That's our name for the largely huge round middle area in the tunnels. We turned it into a cool Renaissance fair marketplace. Huzzah! I can ignore that. How do I get there?" "Easy. You just walk a few miles down this main tunnel." "Miles?" "Or you can wait for Princess." "That old converted 1976 tiara mega coach triaxle school bus. The one calamity got from the Pentagon when he ordered an assault vehicle? That princess?" "He'll crest. Sorry. I zoned out there for a second. Back story. Am I right? Anyway. The bus is now codingly programmed to go from here, down the main tunnel, through the Underdome, through another tunnel, and end up at Cindy's office, which is also the library. Then it turns around and comes back, through that corridor, through the Underdome, through the other corridor, and get the idea. Oh, sorry. Exposition makes me cranky. You must hear a lot of it. Anyway, here she comes now. And you're in luck. Old man Spooner is riding on the flatbed trailer. Old man Spooner? Yeah. Him and his dad cuddles, ridingly travel back and forth all day long on that trailer that he attached to Princess. Wonderful. I'll be sure to interview him when I run out of anything else to do. I love it. Let's listen to the ocean while we shot our sunscreen ocean, even catch a long time. Meanwhile, during breakfast in the inmates' cafeteria at S&H Greenstamps Prison, hold on. Now it's the Studebaker automobile state penitentiary. Disgraced former Little Wickerbaskets executive, Brax Higgins, is attempting to eat his meal in relative peace and quiet away from his cellmate, Bad Note Billy. Finally, a break from that incessant singing. How can one man sound like an entire pack of howler monkeys? And his hygiene? What treat do we have on the menu this morning? High-ass, drab, and a dirty spoon. Time to break out the towel. Brax! Yeah, Brax, where are you, Rumi? By all that is sane, not again. Maybe if I don't move, the creature won't be able to see me. Oh, there you are. Pfft. Didn't you hear me calling you, Rumi? If I didn't know better, I would think that you were trying to avoid me. But that can't be true, can it? Of course not, Billy. That is good. I was just worried because once I had a Rumi who didn't like my singing, can you believe it? Of course, he's gone now, but they never did find the body. Hey, look, I snuck you an extra piece of, uh, murky. Thank you, Billy, but I was hoping to just sit here and have a relaxing meal. Oh, I get the picture. You don't have to tell me eight or nine times. Thank you, Billy. I did not have a chance to prepare a song for your meal time enjoyment, but I can make one up. No problem. No, that is not what I meant. Listen up, good everyone. My friend, Brax Higgins, has requested that I sing a song so he can have a nice, quiet meal. No, I didn't ask him to. So shut up. That is better. This goes out to you, Brax, my new old Rumi. Meal time is the best this time. How does he manage to make a song less appealing than this schwa? Eat a meal with hands instead of eat meat with feet. As morning rolls on, Detective Hart enters the tunnels through a hatch not far from the Venus Arms Hotel and Tower. Oh, the hotel. Does that mean girls and I get a scene to do? No, Cap, not right now. Dang it. We'll make it happen soon, girls isn't getting any younger, you know? The hatch, known only to a select few, provides direct access to the library in the tunnels. Cindy has asked to meet with Detective Hart in an attempt to figure out where the waffle batter sphere is hidden. Time is of the essence, as Mayor Rory has given Cindy a deadline to put an end to the power and water problems the spheres are causing. Like, we have to figure out where the badger people put the sphere. Now that's a sentence that might seem a bit ridiculous if it wasn't for just one thing. Like, what's that? It's on this show. Just then the door to the library swings open and buzz stumbles in. Great portals of Pauline Fredrickson. How is an East investigative reporter supposed to eavesdrop when these doors open so easily? Were you spying on us, Thomas? Puppycock, I say. An investigative journalist doesn't spy. They inconspicuously listen. Detective stoop to spying. And what exactly is that supposed to mean? Like, everyone be cool. I have to, like, stay focused. Come on in, buzz. Maybe you can help. Yes, there's a rumor going around that you were discussing the newsworthy power and water issues plaguing Midling Fair. Where did you hear that rumor? I was listening at the door, remember? Like, that makes sense. It does. And like, we have to figure out how to make it stop. It's like ruining everything. I'll say, I remember how it ruined a recent case of mine. I had invited the key suspect in my latest case to my office last night for a little chat. Detective Hart. That's two A's, two T's, spelled right. Say it right. Yes, what in the world makes you think I'm the murderer? It's so simple even I can figure it out. The deceased was known to be a sucker for getting his palm red every Thursday night. And you just happened to be a palmist. So there must be half a dozen of us in this town. That's true, but the victim was left handed. And as anyone knows, any oracle worth their salt won't do a reading for a left handed client on a Thursday night. That is, except for you, and one other crystal gazer here in Midling Fair. Then why am I your only suspect? The other one is the victim. Crit. Okay, you got me, Hart. What's happening? Another power cut. Ah! Not now. Perfect. I can disappear without a trace. Where did I put those candles? I just need to find that bus ticket. Perfect. I need to find the magnet. Let's see. Poison. Done. Blackjack. Oh, here it is. Only my phone had a flash. That's to Georgia. We'll be the perfect place to hide. Oh. I sure hope my animilia still lives at 2, 2, 3, 7, Pine Street, Area Code 70655. So close. But now I'll never find her. Like, that's why we need to figure out where the waffle batter sphere is. Romeo said it could like control the other spheres and take them to the next level. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Like, yeah. I know one thing that will help. Some idea of what we're doing. What clues do you have? Like, none. That figures. Hold on a New York style pizza Friday minute. I think I may have something. What information does Buzz have? Can he even be trusted? And will bad note Billy ever sing on key? For possible answers, be sure to come back for chapter 8. Let's make a deal. In this episode, the part of Cindy was played by Bonnie Canderdene. The disgruntled artist was played by John Bell from The Bells in the Battery Podcast, TheBattFree.com. Old man Spooner was played by Chuck Tamasi from the Technorama Podcast, ChuckChat.com/Technorama, and the topic is Trek Podcast, the topic is Trek.com. The woman's suspect was played by Madison Hatfield, and the narrator was played by Gary J. Chambers, Gary J. Chambers, TheO.com. Additional voices as well as story and music by Clinton Allward, Copyright 2022, All Rights Reserved. And remember to hear the story from the beginning, just go to comedy forecast, all one word with the number 4.com/2022. But for now, that's it, we're done, done, done, done, done, bye bye. [Music] [BLANK_AUDIO]
