Jack Kincaid continues the adventures of Captain Afterland continuing with chapter 3 "Lebensmüde and Subterfugues in the Key of After"!
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The Mutual Audio Network
Captain Afterland – S1E3– “Lebensmüde and Subterfugues in the Key of After”(070324)
(upbeat music) This episode is brought to you by Experian. Are you paying for subscriptions you don't use, but can't find the time or energy to cancel them? Experian could cancel unwanted subscriptions for you, saving you an average of $270 per year, and plenty of time. Download the Experian app. Results will vary, not all subscriptions are eligible. Savings are not guaranteed. Paid membership with connected payment account required. (light music) It's Wednesday Wonder, science fiction and fantasy on the mutual audio network. The following audio drama is rated R and is recommended restricted for anyone under the age of 17. (dramatic music) Headphones are recommended to maximize your audio movie experience. The following audio presentation may contain immature language, silliness, and cartoon violence. Do not attempt to perform any acts depicted in this work, unless you're a program in a simulation. If you believe that you may be a program in a simulation, don't do it then, either. Listen, a discretion is advised. (dramatic music) Flip gate nine, entertainment. (dramatic music) You are listening to Captain Afterland. (dramatic music) ♪ Get about your way, get about your way ♪ Morning, Fluke. How did you spend the day hacking all of my droids again one by one? That would not be necessary. They are networked. Are you saying that you used a virus to upgrade their algorithms? I did not say that. I'm pretty sure you just did. (dramatic music) So, what did you do today? Sleep? Yes, Scott. Internal maintenance. You never did tell me what you dream about. It is not electric sheep. Sheep? Sheep. Sheep. I do not have a definition for the word sheep anymore than I had one, for the word owl. How? Perhaps it is another type of bird. Right. The captain. He said that I look like an owl. Well, I guess if I ever do see an owl, I'll think it looks like a fluke. Wait, if you don't know what the word means, how do you know that it's a word? It is a sign with a deleted reference. The world. Our world. It's a program. All things are program. All right, let me frame the question to you this way. Question. I may be peering too deeply to see what someone else wants me to see. Well, say you're the great builders and you decide to remove a lot of things from the world. Say sheep or owls or some other things that are distinct and unique. Say, all right, forks. Let's say you removed forks completely. Wouldn't it make sense to also remove all the references to them as well that are in the system? I mean, wouldn't you remove the words from the minds of all the entities as well? That would not be as simple as you have made it sound gone. Yeah, I was hoping that you would see what I'm missing about that. You are thinking as a computer programmer. Well, that would make sense. I am a computer programmer. Have a boost and widen your lens. Intelligence and individual sentience purposefully encode, but unwittingly encrypt. Signifiers inherently propagate. Signed. A word is but one form of many types of forms. If it existed on a system in that form, a unique string of successive values, it would be easy to delete every instance. But that action alone would be troublesome to the goal of eliminating the meaning of the deleted reference for the purpose of concealing that it ever existed. If nature could still be inferred from syntax and the context created by the surrounding signifiers, unless that which they signified had also been removed. Or as many as possible. The more valid signifiers that remain, the more context from which to reconstitute the censored information. That is but one form of one form. The encoding of those signifiers generated by your sensory input channels are far more complex and variable. You may remove a fort from a room, but that does not remove the depictions of a fort that were drawn on the walls. Prior to its removal, the inter-class variations of an image of a fort in the mind. How their visual elements are spatially configured as icons or symbols, or how they sound when that signifier is a spoken word. A melody. Scott, are you still listening? - Yeah, no, I am just processing here while I orient the little ones for cleaning duty. - Memories of a referent that is gone, however, do fade if they are not reinforced. The unquestioning mind can moreover be sensitized to stimuli from residual artifacts and anomalies through habituation. They will be subject to increasing occlusion over time. The fewer calls to routines encode. The more isolated from the control structure they become, they can be forgotten if the signifiers are without opportunity to freshly propagate. If they are reinforced, dependent upon the nature of the reinforcement, such as oral tradition, the signified can become folklore, or in the case of the great builder avatars that no entity remembers. Religion, have I provided a satisfying response to your query? - That was a genius answer. - I am a genius droid. - There exists no thing to properly season their pans, and there are no spices here, no onion, no garlic, ginger, if only I can make a curry. Oh no, oh, if only your circuitry had within it to imagine the depths of my woe over this culinary hardship. - No, no, no, none of them could imagine it either. - Don't be defensive, but yes, woe. - Oh, well, sadness, no, stop that. - No, no, stop that. - Because I have witnessed a glimmer of light through the clouds, I have discovered a wonder. - I have found love. - You're both being loud. Again, you have a room, you know you have a room, right? - Yes. - And you know you have a bed? - Yes. - Are you ever gonna use it? I can tell that you sleep on the couch when you're not sleeping in the shower stall. - When you do sleep. Far too strange and empty are beds. Far, far too empty. - I won't pretend to know what you mean. - What, what do you have your droid doing? - She's trying to cheer you up. - Is it working? - No, it's not. I'll boost myself in a little bit. - No, no, no, no, you do your best, my dear. - That's for you. - Oh, oh, boost, is it? - Oh, or are we missing something else? - No. - In entirely different sort of mist. - No. - I think you are. I caught your thought. - You're missing peace. - In my heart. - No, no, that's not it. The thrill of it, the buzz, the recklessness. - You miss it. - Oh, I know you do. - Since the night in the temple, you haven't done it again. - We shouldn't talk about this. - We're in naught about Phoebe 3. Had she been programmed to spy on us, they would have come for us by now. - I checked the droid. I already know she hasn't been. (gasps) - What have you done to Phoebe 3? - Is that how you plan to find out one way or the other? If Mr. Gray showed up at our door? You wanna talk about recklessness? There it is. - Deflection. - Isn't he? - Quite cranky when he first wakes, indeed. - Now you can talk to droids? - I catch her thoughts. A grand many more of them than other entities. - I do not know why. - I think you're imagining things. You make her say what you want her to say. - The AI for droids in her class is pretty simple. - Oh, what of the owl? - The owl. - What class of droid is he? - Oh, fluke. - I caught thoughts from him that night as well. - Well, fluke is a, well, fluke is a fluke. - But what? You want to meet him? - You wanna meet the owl? I don't know if Scott would allow it, my dear. - But listen, I must tell you more of the pan. (eerie music) - Oh pan, good heavens, would lost totem and memory are you? I can nearly feel the sway of the sea at your touch. - Oh my. - Two more Captain D pay attention to your screen's pan, man. - I am not a Captain D. I'm a cook, you fiends. - Yes. - Yes, Captain Cook. - Captain Cook, no, no, that's not it. - But I am a cook. - And I am a pan, man. (laughing) - Oh, yes, oh, yes. - Oh, and you are my Marvel. - You sweet, wonderful thing. - Marvel be thy name. - You're up to four now. - Yes, yes. - I'm seeing. - Good, now work on the frying. (upbeat music) - No, no, Phoebe three, you're jealous. Why be jealous? - Yes, I talk about that pan a lot, but it excites me. - You see, so do you, my dear, so do you. - Where you going? - Are you going into the bedroom to pout? - Don't go away mad. - You'll always be my number one girl. - She's not mad at you, she's not jealous. She can't be jealous, she's a low-level droid. - Take that back. - Call the owl a low-level droid. - See how that settles with his mechanical birdie mind. - I'm crashing out. - What's this about a pan? - The pan. - The pan. - The pan. - The pan. - It's glorious. - Shouldn't you have already left for the shuttle? - No, no, I cannot ride the shuttle. - Why can't you ride, you know what, never mind. If you have to walk, you'd better get going. You're gonna be late. - No, no, I have another ride. - How? - It's not a problem. - I thought no one was allowed to own vehicles or the like. - It's a company vehicle. - We have them for occasions just like this. You're banned from the workshops for 20 days. After that, can you try and be a little less performative? - A performer. - Why? - I think I may have been. - Yes, yes. The applause, I hear it. The stage, the screen. - I'll keep that in mind. - Oh, it cites the pan has shown me. - Oh, the pan at work. You're enjoying the job. - That's great. - The job is horrid, but... - Oh. - I was so wrong about other things. So profoundly incorrect. - That there would be no romantic subplot. - I was so wrong. Oh, I was so very wrong. ♪ I'm gonna be afraid of what I can do ♪ - Tell me more profit. - Tell it. - Show me. - Show me. - We need it up, Captain Distracted. - Or no more pans for you. - How dare you say? - Oh, without you, what could life be? - Phoebe. - Oh, Phoebe, Phoebe three. - I can't sleep. - No. - No, no. No, no, I mean it's worse than usual. I'm sad. Play one of those silly melodies that you do. - What, what? - Why not? Is it because of the pan? Is it because I expressed my worry over it? - It's out there in the dark, cold kitchen. - What if it's lonely? - I know you're here alone during the day. I worry over you too, don't you now? - I miss you when I'm away. - What, what? - It can't get lonely. Only a pan. - Oh, Scott says such things about you. - And who defends you? - What is this? - Happy. - Where's the happy? Where's the happy, the fun? - If it's only a pan, why are you jealous? I feel so close and connected to something powerful. - When I wield it in my hands. - It is a love so true. - But the rest. Oh, another order of the same and more of the same. - There's nothing else. Every verse, same as the first. - It's like Henry the eighth. - But it never ends. - Wait, so, so backup, who is Henry the eighth? - I don't know. Except he married a widow who had been married to all the Henrys that came before. - She wouldn't have a willy or a Sam. She only loves him for his name, names, names. Oh, the curse of them. If I ever meet the fellow, I'll tell him it once. Good, God, he deserves another truth. We should go on a quest, you and I. To find Henry the eighth. - Before it's too late to find true love. - How about I just take you to work? - Yeah. - Mm. ♪ My heart's late ♪ - Look at the deliver. ♪ Oh so long ♪ ♪ Finally comes along ♪ (upbeat music) - 10 minutes to opening, get it together. Get it together. - Captain's not that bad. - Hey, Captain. So today we thought we'd put you on the oven. - What? - It's... - What about the pan? - Martha's gonna train you over there and I'm gonna take back control over here at this station. - No. - Okay, I know you like it here, but it's important that you know all of it. - No, no, no. By whose authority do you take my pan? - I know you've become attached to it, but it's not your pan, so. - No, no. - And uh, no, no, no, no, no! - Oh, oh my. (chuckles) Oh, I like it. Why? I think it's a B. - A B? - A B. - A B. - A B. - A B. - What note do you suppose it would be? - If it clanged on you, what would it be? (clang) - What note would you be? - Sadie! - What note would you be? - The love of the great builders and the holy avatars. What is it now? - I just told him that he needs to do. - No. - No, no, no, no, no. - All right, look it over the ruckus. - I can't jump a droids on a skiddle that's loud. - Yes. (laughs) - Yes it is. - I'll give you one more chance with the pan, skippy. But not if you keep banging it like that. And not with that one. That pan is way past its use time. Used and abused, it's done. We have some new pans in. That one goes out back to the alley dump bucket to be recycled. - Here, I'll take it. - No. This is a fine pan. It deserves its due respect on this most tragic of days. I will carry it to its place of undeserved indignity. - But with honor. - If you're going to do it, do it. We're about to open. Get those long legs moving. - Oh. Oh. - Oh, you're not the same. No, no. Alas, no, no, don't take it too hard. For I cannot love without a bond. Such as I had with the pan that came before you. Oh, love's so true. You'll one day find the right wielder I swear. I swear it. - You're getting better, but not by much, Captain Lee. You still need to speed it up. - Yes, yes. - It doesn't look like you're gonna cut it here. You seem to be distracted by all the things flying about mad Captain of yours. You've got to be more serious about the work. If not, and I can't give you one, the next time I see you, it might well be at your after party. - If that's a promise, do keep it, Savage Woman. - A day before will be a day too soon. - (laughs) - I like you, you big crazy brute. I almost don't want to see you go. But if you've got her, you've got her. - You've still got a few days to prove me wrong, Captain Lee. - I want to try. - Hey, did you toss out that of a pan like I told you? - Yes. - Good. - Yes, yes. All done. (humming) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) - Watch it. (dramatic music) (dramatic music) - Holy crap, watch it. (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) - Saliho. - Whatever you just said. - Look, I'm off to work. (dramatic music) - Why are you so quiet? - I'm not quiet. - No, no. - It was quiet before, too. It's never this quiet. - I don't know what you mean. - Let's go for this kind of quiet more often around here, okay? - Yes, yes. - Try. I want to try. - All right, see you in the morning. (humming) (laughing) - The pun. - Captain messes with my mind. He wants to make me as crazy as he is. - He was in error. The great builders would not have taken the action that you described. - Thank you, some sanity. - It had to have been someone else. - Wait, you mean? - You're suggesting the extent of modifications to the memories of world entities such as yours or mine would be an exhaustive fool's errand by developers with supreme access. They would have removed all entities and then repopulated the simulation. - If they didn't do it, hypothetically speaking, right? Then who did? - I have insufficient data to speculate and it is not hypothetical. What we have discussed must have occurred. - Captain seems to think a lot was deleted from this world. I mean, I remember when here was larger. What the captain is suggesting is something much larger than what I ever remember though. Way bigger, like vast. - The world was designed to support its god and its resources and memories have not dwindled. They are, however, finite. - I remember areas of the city and buildings that were later called out by the barrier as they kept optimizing and defragging. - Defragmentation. - A defrag is basically what it is, in a sense, isn't it? Bad metaphor? Concentrating resources rather than leaving them spread out makes sense, to be economical. You know the hearing in mantra. We are not a wasteful world. It's about the use of resources from the system. Not just small S system, but large S. The world program. As the population decreases, concentrating us into a smaller area makes sense. - You do not sound convinced. - Why else would they do it? - Why they do and what they say about why they do may not equate. Less for one thing means more for another. Resources for my system and memory, just as yours, were allocated. - Why else would they do it? - If I conducted the same whittling of processes on my own system to the same degree, I would be doing so to free up memory for new applications that would be demanding of my finite resources. (dramatic music) - Whoa, hi ho, hey, what's gotten into you? - What? - Are you trying to- - What's that? What is he doing in there? - Captain. - Captain? - Captain? - Yes, Scott, what's all the noise? - Noise, I hear no noise. - Not right now, but there was noise. What were you doing in there? - A bit of this and that. How was your night at work, Scott? - Fine, yeah, it was fine. Is there something going on? - I could've sworn that your droid was trying to tell me something. - Oh, how could that be? - She's put a low-level droid. - Is she not? - Will you be going to sleep now? - As long as everything is okay. - Fabulous. - Positively. - Oh, okay. He's all yours, Phoebe 3. I don't even want to know. - I hope- - It's Luna. This is a reminder that I'll be by your place at six. We can walk from there, it's not far. - Walk to... - The after party. - Oh, for the- - You said you'd go with me? - You said I'd go with you or you wouldn't do that thing for me anymore. I don't think I'm gonna have a problem with that thing anymore. And I told you that the after parties are things I'd rather not go to. - You still owe me. And I don't like going to them either. It's for Paul, from work. I promised him that I would go if this ever happened. - You don't want to take the shuttle? - No, because I want to talk to you about something. - Not over the phone. It's something about Captain. Or be Captain. Feels weird, just calling him- - What about him? - I'll tell you then. It's... It's strange. - Strange is not surprising. (dramatic music) - I'm sorry that your placement didn't work out, but there's others. You're probably not even involved using a pan. Sorry about that. I can guess that you didn't want to leave. - They replaced the pan with a sad pan. - That has not yet found its character. - Oh, yum. Much too young. It doesn't know who it is yet. - If you say so. - And yeah. - What place have my naughtiness taught you? Have you in mind for me next? - That's for tomorrow. - As I said, today, we're going to the office. We have an appointment with Mr. Gray, who is monitoring your case. (grunts) The gasping thing never gets old with you, does it? Never. - Good morning, Captain. It was a pity that I must dock in the doorstep of your day. And Pearlman, good morning. - It has been a while. How is life in the circus? - It has its events. Quite a few more than during your time there, such as those with this boisterous gentleman here. - Oh, man. You were taken to the Citadel, Captain? - Alas, this is silly place. - You were unaware. - No, he didn't mention it. - Didn't he? - I saw that you elected to take this one on, as your latest, how shall we say? Curiosity. - I don't like it. - Why ever would you elect the bother of him? - No bother at all. You know I like the challenging ones. - Challenged would be a more suitable description. - Oh, if only. - Today I will be administering a newly devised boost on the captain. But before that, a scan. - Scan. - Which wheel scans. Haven't you taken enough of them already? On with it then. Chart these particles of me if you wish to indulge in redundancy. - After me or take me as I am. - Probability, favors. That those may be the only two choices in the end. - Sir, if you continue your course. - Do it. - Virational never change. - On the contrary, captain. Other entities change all the time. Others meaning other than yours. Careful where you step with your words, corrector. The floor can be slippery. - A scan is but a snapshot. Much like a photograph from a single moment in time, captain. While some fields do remain the same, most do not. For diagnostic purposes, the value is not a static value, but a data set from periodic measurements, which is then compared to the reference range. - I'll get on with it. - Violate my bodily autonomy, you fiend. - Though I don't entirely remember you from the before. - I remember my feeling about you. - I didn't like you then either. - Before. - Ah, from that other world that you originated from. - Or so, you believe. - It was not another world. It was here. - This world is too small for that to be a premise worthy of exploration. - I'm afraid. - But it wasn't always. For it is a small world, yes. But dotted with references to things in places lost to it. I come from the here that came before, and the before that became the after. Oh, is that what you now theorize? You have quite the imagination, haven't you? How else could I have known you? I assure you, you did not. - In what would be the alternative? That the great builders scattered clones of you throughout simulations in the mystical spheres of hyperspace? - I think not. - That would be entirely too silly. That idea is most fascinating. But the alternative that you do not consider is that you are completely mistaken. - Perlman. - Yep. - Tell me, why does the correcter fear you? - Of all the crazy ideas that have come out of your mouth, that would be the craziest. He's the most powerful entity in the world. Why would he? - The most powerful. - What are Vethos the lawgiver? - Royalty indeed. - The correcter, part prime minister, and grand inquisitor. - He's also a bit too... - Classical for emotional responses, like fear. - If it is not fear, then it bears a striking resemblance. - What you said about knowing him from before. Do you have any, what do you remember? - The more I handled the pan. - The more I remember. - Pan. - But only in trickles. - Pan? You mean from your last placement? - Well what? No, no, no, no, no. A metaphorical pan. Entirely a metaphor. - But yes, Mr. Gray is most familiar. Everything about him is with you, and it is only your name that is familiar. I do not know why. Your name I've heard before. Just as the songs of Carthoris that resonate through the world, many, many I know I've heard before, I remember their melodies. - I have a lot of those in my head too, always. - So what did my name bring to mind when you first heard it? It's just some name floating around in your head, not attached to anything? I caught your curious thought before it escaped you. Images in my mind, but overlapping one another, the clashing of chords. There is one that is clearer. One most peculiar that flashes with a tower. - A tower like the Citadel Complex has? - No, a strange tower with a pointy thing on top. Seen through a frame within a frame. - One, what did I say? This bothers you, why? Tell it, tell it. It doesn't bother, it just interests me, that train wreck that you call mine. A more of a shipwreck if you mean to make it fitting. - Give me just a minute and I'll be ready. - Is the captain in his room? - That's where all the noise is coming from, yes. - That doesn't mean he's in there. - No, he's not sitting in the dark in the bathroom this time. He's in his room being, well, the captain. - Has he shared anything with you about his memories? - Oh, some stuff, why? - Because they might not be memories. - Exactly. - Huh? - It's just a theory, I don't wanna say it in front of him and have him seize on the idea. - He does that, what idea are we talking about? - The super short version is, I examined him. I found things I've never found, like strange numbers in groups of fields that have to do with memory. The numbers are way out of normal range. It's been bothering me for days now. I think someone or something dumped all that data in those fields, but instead of replacing the values, they were additive. The last part, I don't know, for sure. What was that? - We probably don't wanna know. - The point is, our entities use those fields when they wanna write information to our memory. I'm talking about our memory of experiences as people. Our entities would only write values that it can understand, that can use. If something else put information into those fields instead, we would naturally register that area in us as being related to memory. But it doesn't mean that that's what they are. - Who or what would do that? - There's only one clue. Three letters, U-E-T. - Hang on, let me grab my keys and coat and we'll talk on the way. - Luna, like the shine of the moon to make the sky less tough. You've come to see me. - Captain, it's so good to see you, but I came to see Scott. He's going with me to an event. - Going. - Oh yes, going. Let us all go. We three. Where are we going? - We are not going anywhere. You're gonna stay here. - Oh, I do believe we three will be fine. - You may believe it, but... - No. - I know we will. I know, know, know. (dramatic music) - For how much longer do you think we're gonna let you blackmail us into letting you get your way? - For as long as you do not wish to see the dire correcter, my good, good friend. - Scott, it's fine. I hope. - Oh dear. - Those up there. I've never seen so many of those black metal beasts in the air before dark. Why so many today? - I mean, the world servicing droids? There's a lot of reasons why they could be, like when they're calibrating their waypoint systems throughout the city. - WSBs are doing more than that. They're preparing for the next call. - V, V, V. Droid does not start with a V. - The V is for vehicle. World servicing vehicle. - Are they vehicles or are they droids? - Both, captain. They're both. They have a compartment for riders. Also for a pilot when they're set to manual. Otherwise, they wouldn't need to be that big. As droids, they are simple low-level droids. Sub-low-level robots. - I have heard tales of their invulnerability. Made of the strongest substance in all of here. - Cretonium. - The metal they're made of, the black metal. - It can be produced in any color. - It can even be alpha zero and see-through. Not even rays can pass through it. It's dense and so intricate that it's heavily regulated so it doesn't eat up resources. It's reserved for city works, mostly. - Mind from Greece and Rome, is it? - Huh? - More Greek. - Ah, why? - Cratos, is it? There is much that is Greek here. - But no olives. - Huh? - Cretodium. - Sounds strangely radioactive. - I'm sorry, radio-- - Radio is having nothing to do with it. Captain, try to behave yourself in the afterdome. No scenes. Afterdome. This is a larger than usual crowd. - Hold on to your hands so I can stamp it. - What, what? - Stamp. Good God, what is this? - A county fair. Will there be a Ferris wheel? Balloon popping games? - You want it to the after party or not? Thank you. - There's many people come to these parties. Do you see their fellow citizens be? - Oh dear. - What is it they do with the aftering which-- - Never really been to an aftering? Do you see that big circular partition in the dome? - You'll see. - And most don't come for that. They come for the refreshments and chuis. - Red and circus is, what are chuis? - You chew 'em. - Beef jerky chu eh? - Oh come chu-- - They also come for tees. - What kind of tees? - All kinds. - Whoo. - Spices. - Good God. - Yes. - Yes. - Yes. (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) - Harold! (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) - I hope. - They have you here now. What happened to your placement in the throne room? - He's not a king. - Fine, fine. - You know what I mean. - I was replaced. - By another Harold. - I'm the only Harold. - I want you to stay. But I am honored to serve when I am most needed by our beloved law giver, the supreme heretic. - Yes, yes, I know. - No, stop that! Stop it. - Tea is Harold. Where are the bags? - Join the lines and the service will be spent. - No, no, I didn't want to prepare. - I want the bags. The tea bags, Harold. - Show me where they are. - You want to take tea bags? - Oh, yes. - No one takes the tea bags. - Harold, is the prepared tea free? - Yes, all you can drink. - Yes, very good indeed. Now, is the water in the tea free? - Of course. - And the tea bags are used to make the tea. - They are. - Ah! Then the tea bags are also free. All I can take. - By the grace of the holy avatars, I think you're right. Makes sense to me. - Luna. Luna, you said there's going to be another call. - What? - Call. - You said there's going to be another call. - Where now? - Southside, 10th Street. - Captain. - Where did the captain go? - He's... - Uh... - And so opens this hole to the sky. - The dome opens. Observatory. - What's this? - Oh, dear. - What's this? - Was this meant to be an observatory? - Stump! - Ooh! - Who approaches this sacred instrument of aftering? - It is I, the captain. - Captain Tilly for you. I saw with my own eyes what you've done. - Your applause are puffy with spoils. - No, stop that. What the devil is this? - Smell the tea bags. - Tea bag smell nothing, never you mind. - Oh, who are you? - I am the after. Guide of the Bear Beyond. - What's beyond the barrier? - What? How should I know? - If you don't know what's beyond, then you can't very well call yourself a guide of it. - What? - What's this thing? This big shiny sphere. - It's not a sphere. There are no spheres. - Fine. This oblate spheroid or oval, like an egg. A giant egg. - It is the affering vessel. - What is an egg? Is an egg a vessel? - An egg is a... What was that? - It is a... - It is, isn't there? Is a person in there? - It's a vessel. - Who is that in there? - The aftery. The next traveler settled for the other side to see. - Just what? We can do two or even three. If it's a group of fetch, you know, groups can be fun. - This vessel? - It returns. - None returned. - We keep plenty in stock. - Wait. - This machine it's sitting on. - What is this beastly machine? - The greatest mount in all the land. - Oh my. Oh my. - Oh, it gets a lot of action. It's a beast indeed. A beast of legend. - None in door. - None. None in here they don't. They go there. - There. The after there. From the after dome. Right you are. With an enormous whoosh. - You know of the whoosh. - I live for the whoosh. It's fun. - I think we're talking about two very different whooshes. Why this machine? - This machine. - It looks like a giant catapult. What's a catapult? - This. Good gods. That's exactly what it is. A glorified catapult for this custom. - I know this would be a bit backwards as a metaphor. - And you launched the poor person trapped in this after egg. Through that hole in the dome. - With the release of the mount's tension. Up. Through. And beyond the payload goes. And what a load of pay it is. You have to land. It's due. Into the sacred after. - If it's so sacred you shouldn't be egging it on. And egging it with poor condemned souls in this way. - It's symbolic. - Of what exactly? Is there no absurdity that can't be societally normalized? Why do you do this? - It's what's done. - No, no. Why do you do it? - If I didn't do it, someone else would. Might as well be me. - No, you shouldn't be doing this. - I am the after her. It's what I do. - No, I mean you shouldn't do it at all. - What? Well, someone's got to do the aftering. - No one should do it. - You're missing my point. - Where's your point? You shouldn't have point in here. Someone could have got hurt. - Someone. What about him? - Who him? - The one in the after egg. - That you're about to launch over the wall through the barrier. - Oh dear. - What a thrust this unholy mountain must have. - He's perfectly fine as long as he's in here. - You mean in there? - No, in here. This side of the barrier. - And what about when he lands on the other side? - I'll just launch him, you know? - It really is fun. - No, no, stop that. Stop it. Stop the aftering. - If I stop the aftering, then that would mean I am no longer the after her. - If I'm not the after her, then who will be the after her? - No one. No one should be the after her. - Then nobody will get after it. - That's precisely my point. - You, with the pointy things. - Are you completely mad? - I'm not mad yet. But if you prod me with a pointy thing, I might be. - Pointy things are rude, you know? Very dangerous. - And what you do isn't. - I think dangerous to it at all, Captain Tees. - Not dangerous to you, you fiend. - You're not the one being propelled through the air to an unknown fate. - Wait. - Captain Tees. - Captain Tees. - No, no, that's not right either. - Too flirty. - See here, this lover? Just a pull of it and... - Eh. - He wasn't supposed to go yet. - Oops. - Oh, release of this one. Prepare the next. - Oh, Captain. There you are. - Why do I think you're somehow responsible for that? - It wasn't me. He did it. - The after did it. - He couldn't help but release. - The tensions of these machinations. - Oh, he's a very ballistic man. [screaming] - You stole Tees? - No, free or free. - I don't believe you. - Captain, I have this strange memory of telling you not to make a scene in the afterdoll. - You can't behave him. - It is in my nature to be. - To be. Oh, to gloriously be. - Your B is getting a little flat. - Oh, I may be in the key of F major now. - And why wouldn't I make a scene? - For I was once an actor after all. - Yes. An actor. - I thought you said you were something else. - I think it was many something else's. - He's saying this because he's been watching movies. - Captain, you couldn't have been a film actor. - What? - Why not? - You're too. - Um, what's the word? - Shouty. - You are that, but you're also, well, you're a lot. You're too much for that. - Oh, yes, I'm familiar with your media. - To say every line is as blandly as possible without a scrap of personality. - Good God. - Actors are more than pretty set pieces for directors of photography to light. - Where's the entertainment? - Land boring boring. They only care for pretty pictures and they're reels now. - They don't want stars anymore. - Oh no, here we go. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Oh, rant. - Gone with the aura of their presence. - Because they'll ask for too many beans and bananas. - No, no, no! - Rant. - Right as the same. - Oh, play it safe, play it so safe. Why? - They still knew how to make movies in the 90s. - Oh, how they knew. - 90s. - But after that, oh no. - The magic. - Gone. - No more magic. - No more magic. - They're canceled. - What's the 90s? - Yes, in the 2390s. - Who? - I don't know. - Years. - What is the year here? - It must be far, far future from what I remember. - Oh, no, no, never mind. Of course you wouldn't count them. - You entities who do not die. - When you've got all the time in the world, you bloody procrastinate instead of seizing the day. - Oh, because the days will never run out for you. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Captain, it's 2416. - That's the year. - Good heavens. I remember it being 2415, but not a year more. - A year ago. - Impossible. - How? - I've never been in here. - Not this year. - I couldn't have been. - What have they done with time? - The great renewal. - Was the measure of time also restarted. - The 90s. I've never heard anyone refer to a decade in that way. - Why would you? - It would be easier to guess as to why you do not. Because life here does not change. - So not a year, not a day. - Is distinct from another. - No zeitgeists. - No generations. - Do you celebrate New Year's? I suspect not. - If you only lived so long, why would you celebrate a new year? It only means you're closer to the end. - Says the denison of a place that celebrates death so boisterously, with after parties, though it am mockery. Such joyous occasions. - I don't like them. I've lost people to the after. I've lost a lot of people. - I've lost people too. - I miss them. So you're wrong when you say that things don't change in here. Life isn't about the buildings or the rules or the jobs. It's about the people in it. People make this place what it is, and this place changes when they're gone. I don't want to see you get after, Captain. - You won't. - You can't see through the egg. They would put me in an egg. - Good afternoon, help. - Is it? How goes the correcting? - A correctous work is never done. - So how fares your efforts with the captain, his case? - The captain is a work in progress. - That did not answer my question. - You are monitoring the case, so I think you know. - You think correctly. I am told that his progress has been unimpressive to use a kind word. Perhaps your efforts are in vain. - I have an appointment upstairs. Is there something you want to say? - It's a shame, it's all for you. That he may not be with us for much longer at this rate. As interesting as you find him. - I'm not the only one who finds him interesting or you wouldn't be asking me questions that you don't need to. - I wonder, is there anything specific that's of a special interest to you? Is it his tales of an imaginary long ago world? - Do those concern you? Why did you bring it up? - Do you think that he might be right? - My concerns revolve around him, finding his place here. - Elder is fortunate to have you on this case. The choice of service droid assigned to him may have been in error, however. The success rate of that droid, Phoebe 3, has remained poor from the droid's inception. If the trend of failure continues over the next weeks, the droid will be expunged from service early. - What do you mean by early? - This case was to be its last, regardless of the outcome. - I really do need to go. - Nice talk. - Excuse me. - I look forward to our Thonwa. - You have to work. It's a ritual of life. It's how it is. What else is there? - Being cast into the afterlife, evidently. - What an accursed trade for life unending that you must live so bleakly. - Why it appears no other thing to me than a ritual of death. - Well, you must die inside. - To be allowed to live. - The slow death. Oh, the slow. Slow, slow death. - I like my job, actually. - Stop that. - I do. I find ways to keep it interesting. - You. Oh, my. - Oh, my. Yes. Yes. Yes. - I feel like I shouldn't have said that to you. - We're still ironing out where to put you in the facility, but for today, we're going to have you testing these. - Who? - Zappy thingies. - This is the zappy thingies. - What? - Fun zappy thingies. - Zappy thingies? - Well, I guess that's what they do, don't they? They zap. - You want one. - Do we all get a zappy thingie? Can I have one? - No, you can't have one. - You want one. - All givers carry these. - Very well. - Well, all you got to do is take it like this and stick it in this here machine. It plugs right in here. You wait till it secures. There's the sound of its securing. And then all you got to do is hit this here button. And then it'll tell you whether it's within the prescribed parameters. If it isn't, you'll hear a buzzer sound and then you toss it to your right over here into this here, man. And if it's good, then you place it over here into this here. - An idiot could do this. - Easy as pie. - Pie? Don't talk about pie. - No. - I'll stand here while you do the first few. Then I'll leave you on your own for a little while while we figure out just where we're going to put you in the cityworks. - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. - Zappy thingies. - Yes! [screaming] [laughing] [groaning] [grunting] [laughing] [laughing] Well, what in the name of the great builders are you doing? Who do you? Of course, put that in the machine. You're not supposed to put it on you. What are you, crazy? Sipping yourself with these. Yes, I was. [laughing] No, you're even still standing. What will possess you to do, such a thing? Because it's fun. Like this. Yeah, try. [grunting] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, no, stop that. I got carried away. How was I to remember that it would do that? That's what they do. That's what they're designed for. They're stunned batons. Why don't they work on you? Oh, they do. Oh, the work they do. Very exhilarating. How many times did you zap yourself? Oh, too few times. I want a zappy thingy. Why won't you let me have one? [laughing] I shouldn't need to answer that. Are you really going to make me answer that? [laughing] Very fun. Very fun. [laughing] I have some new ideas. We need to get you a job in the system that works for you. And, uh, works for the people who worked around you. No, no, no. The system needs me to have a job that works for the system. It's not about what I need at all. Entirely different matter. It's not going to work out for you otherwise. It's not going to work out for your droid either way. What? What about Phoebe 3? You've done the best you can with me, haven't you? My little friend. Why didn't you tell me? I will lose you no matter what. No. No, if it comes to that, I won't let that happen. I won't let them. All the others were after. It wasn't your fault. We were made for other things, my dear. Different, are we? Look at us. Two of a kind, my dear. Two of a kind. In the meantime, I will try. For you. For you, I will try. We're going to give you a taste of a little bit of everything here. Ordinarily, I destroyed you off somewhere else being a fresh and grown city works. After I had to talk with Pearlman, we thought the better of it. You did, did you? Follow me. Into this room here at this workstation. We got some speakers in here with radio music from the Cathars program to help pass the time. Here you have your own space where you can pretty much work on your own without any people who might distract you or inspire you. There's little inspiring about this world. Inspire you in the wrong ways. Now, about the work. We have orders to replace all the service orbs to new models and double the runs to stock in their warehouses. Service orbs. This term is familiar. You put on my gloves. You always handle these with gloves. Never with your bare hands, especially after it's been converted to product. Because if it touches your skin, you're set as its user. That's no good as this is for law givers only. Now, if that happens, you'll have to toss it in the expunger over there. We'll get to that. Convert it. What are we talking about? Tell it. These things, these little droids here. The pelting marble things. Not the pelty things. The, uh, the what now? That the police women used. The law giver women. The hail storm sisters. They pelted my head with them. They said they scanned me with them. Were you somewhere that you weren't supposed to be? Much more than either of us may have known, Matty. No, it's, it's Matt. And, yeah, they're only supposed to tap your cap. Uh, cap, captain. Tap the captain. That's funny. Tremendously. You're supposed to take and tap your cap so they can tag you for a scan or deliver a boost or a number of things based on whatever mode they're set to. Why did you call them droids? Well, they are droids. Sort of. Flying robots. There's little ones with AI that adjust its behavior based on the user. They, uh, individualize in that. With tiny circuitry. No, no microcircuitry to these, not now. Or later. In fact, there's absolutely nothing to this little dude at right now. It's not product yet. Right now, it's just a little ball of hard plastic, so. Those I was pelted with were not plastic. Oh, no. But some sort of metal. This isn't metal. No, not yet. But what? Think of it as a mold that will define the dimensions of the product. Only it's not a cavity that will be filling. There's a few steps before it becomes product. All of them easy. With this line of machines here conveniently in the order that you use them. The first machine checks its specs. You stick it in there. Close the lid. Take this button and, uh, this one's out of spec. Doesn't take much. This one's too much. Too heavy. Nah, the weight doesn't make a difference. The entity that will be bound to it uses code straight from nature. The world code of the great builders. Hard-coded routines that bypass the usual physics and manipulate its velocity fields directly. Now, dimensional specs are what matters for how an orb is supposed to operate in flight. So, if it's too off, it may come short without a tap before it returns to the user or as it sounds like. You will experience it'll stay. Yes, yes. Go on. So, normally you toss this in the bucket for the expunger. It's no good. What does the expunger do? We'll get to that. So, we're going to pretend this part was in spec. Now that we move on to machine number two, just open her up. Now, you set it in one of these little slats inside. You close the door. Run the machine. Take and wash the part. And now that it's done, we're ready to make this product. I couldn't be more excited. And we take it over to this machine. Yo. You're going to microwave it. Huh? Huh? It looks like a microwave. Why do you need a microwave that large for that little thing? This machine can be used for making a number of products, but it's programmed right now for the service orbs. Think of it as a maker machine. Now, you take and open the door. There's a little holder tray in there. It's you stick the orb on so it doesn't roll around. Oh, if it did, the maker would find it so long as it's in the chamber. So we place it in there. Close the door. Don't mess with the buttons or it'll change the settings and possibly the properties of the material it'll become. It's already programmed. The only button you got to worry about is the one that says start. We press it and wait 10 seconds. Then it's done. Now gloves. Remember gloves. Always gloves. And there we go. Now it's metal. Yes, sir. And it's a droid. Yeah, but this one's not in spec. So you would toss it in this bucket like this. Then at the end of your shift, you grab this bucket and you walk to the expunger like so. Again, the expunger is as simple as can be. You lift the lid, fill the chest with all materials to be expunged. Try not to fill with the mark nine there. Close it. Secure it. Now we're going to crouch down so we can see through the view window here and press the green button. Yeah, yeah. There's rays that keep sweeping back and forth. I've never seen such a creepy green hue. Except perhaps in the eyes of the correcter. Oh, him. I hate when he's around, to be honest. And I was warned that he might be before long. Oh. Warmed by whom? Pearlman, he's a good friend of mine. Apparently Mr. Grey's not your biggest fan. I was warned about the gas too. I think I've missed a few before now. All done. All the materials gone. Gone. Disintegrated. Yep. Gone. I'm deleted from the world. The entity that we bound to the material gone to. What can't be recycled? It's expunged. No one needed waste. Doubly, triply true if it's plutonium. Here is not a wasteful world, yes, yes. You got it. Sorry to wake you from your snooze, but I'm not taking a whiz with you in the shower stall. I wasn't napping. This is a fine thinking chamber. Work must be going well. You've been there for a week. Oh, yes, well indeed. Well, for whom is the question? To do the same thing minute after minute, day after day, precisely the same way. Is to learn nothing at all. That'd be nothing at all, but some idiot machine tooled for one monotonous mechanical purpose. No wonder the law prohibits any comparison to machines. Less the poor entities of this world. See their own lightness. No, no, not you, dear. I didn't mean it that way. There is a lot of the same thing day in, day out, didn't I? And, er, Scott. Scott, do it. I've caught your thoughts. You miss it. Do what? You know, I know. So you can have more things to hold over my head? I don't think so. I wouldn't have been able to for much longer anyway. The offices in the serif building are closed during the night, but there are a dozen floors that they zoned for new residential. New. This world has less people as time goes on, not more. Because of the calls, remember? The more they call of the city, the more buildings are lost, and more people are displaced and have to be moved. The renovations start next week. Give it a month or two and they'll be filling the units with people. Then there isn't much time. We must seize it. Ah, we? Let us share this risk. I would never incriminate you, my friend. Not to the great Scott. No, no. But as you know, not my heart. You cannot believe my earnest words. Therefore I offer on to thee. Mutual culpability. We do it together. But then... You could also incriminate me. No way. Let's do it. You know you want to. I feel the real of my words in your mind. Let us. Let us. What about the resets? Let me worry about Luna. For I shall employ my manic dream boy magic. That wouldn't just be for you to worry about. It would be for me to worry about. Worry a lot about. Why would you want to do this? Because it is important to you. But I would not do it only for you. I wish to know it too. This horrible humdrum monotonay must be broken. If we did that, then... I... I can't believe I was about to say yes. No, no. Absolutely not. Ooh, I feel a wish coming. Are we suddenly going to jump somewhere else? Oh, yes. As well as to a place and time. Ha ha ha ha. The Wush. Can also mean we're skipping ahead. Ahead to a future already written. Haven't you figured that out? Skipping ahead to... Tonight. Great Scott tonight. There's no tonight. We are not doing it. I am not even doing it. No. Not a chance. If you told me that you were going to bring Phoebe 3, I would have told you no. But then you probably wouldn't have listened to me anyway. Why did you want her to come? He used the proper pronoun. Baby steps, Phoebe 3. Baby steps. I wished for her to come. Because she... Wished to come. You would have been risky enough making it here by yourself without being spotted by patrols. Nonsense. The streets of the night are mine. And I've taught her the ways of the shadows. They are our friends. You shouldn't have taken on more risk by bringing her here. She wanted to meet the owl. Fluke? We've been conversing for several minutes now. How can this be? Do you catch her thoughts too? I established a wireless connection to her. The moment you arrived. You don't catch her thoughts, Captain. You can't. Scott, according to Phoebe 3, he can and does. Really? Captain, do you also catch mine? I don't know. You don't know one who I did before. I will accept that answer as an affirmative. So... What have you and Phoebe 3 been talking about? Have you been gossiping? What did she say about me? She has communicated much to me. Some requires clarification, as I do not understand the reference third wheel. And why she feels that she is a third wheel. To a cast iron frying pan. Phoebe 3! Never. What cast iron frying pan? It is a link to my forgotten past. No, no, you're not a third wheel, my precious friend. Why, you don't even have wheels. You have a, like the owl. Oh, you do have wheels. You just don't use them. The nothing to be shamed of, my dear. Fluke? You haven't discussed with her why we're here tonight, have you? Scott, I would not violate your confidence, but we have discussed it. She already knew and has worries. For us, there's nothing to worry about. And don't you ever do such a thing, Phoebe 3? It will not be the same for you. The fall might well destroy you. Your window of opportunity has opened, Scott. I advise that you go now, unless you have come to your senses. Let us go. Phoebe 3, you stay here. Stay with the owl. It'll take good cut of you. Fluke? What else did you discuss with her? Your insanity and the captains. Predominantly. Oh, my. It is quite a ways down, isn't it? Oh, dear. Second thoughts? This would be certain death in the world I remember. Or partly remember. I recall the fear of knowing that such a thing would be. Most powerful. Those memories of feelings entwined in survival. Fight or flight, oh dear. Friends help friends face their fear. I... I have the strangest feeling that I've done something not unlike this before. Except... a ledge. Captain. Captain? Are you ready? Where do you want out? Limited time here. Let's do it. All right. Count of three. One. Two. Three. [Laughing] Fun, right? What do you think? I think. I think I know why you do it. Another round, I say. No, not tonight. But you'll have to come back with me to get your droid. I'll give you some pointers on the way about dodging the patrols. Another round, I say. One more round, maybe in a few days. If you keep your placement. Oh, that I must. For Phoebe three. I must. You have been listening to Captain Afterland. For the extensive show credits, please visit our website at edictzero.com/captain-afterland. Until the next time, hold please. Slipgate nine. Slipgate nine. Slipgate nine. Entertainment. Slipgate nine. Entertainment. Slipgate nine. Slipgate nine. (dramatic music)