The Intuitive Divorce: Saving Time, Money & Heartache for Moms and their Kids
Emotional Guardrails
Hey mamas, you've likely spent a lot of time, actually most of your time, taking care of others from your family, your kids, your friends, your work, your community, and any other assorted application, even your soon-to-be ex. You've likely done anything and everything to show up for others, try to fix things and make it all better. Oh us mamas, we'd stand before a speeding train to prevent our kids from hurting. Trust me, I know. Then they're done that, or at least tried. Protection comes with the job. But who's protecting you mama? Where are you in this equation? It's why I'm currently writing a divorce book about my favorite topic, divorcing differently. The old divorce narrative is outdated, it's missing pieces, it's bypassing you and how you need support now, not on the other side of divorce when the dust settles. How you divorce matters. How you get through this upheaval matters right here, right now. That's what I want to talk to you about today. I'm calling this conversation emotional guardrails. Hi there mamas, welcome to the intuitive divorce podcast. I'm Kristin Noel, certified divorce coach and creator of the best self-intuitive divorce. A game-changing program that transforms the experience and outcomes of divorce, one mother at a time. I call it divorcing differently. I'm here each week bringing you a quick message to support, inspire, and empower you to achieve the outcomes you want for yourself and your kids. So let's dive into today's episode. Do you remember how protective you were over your newborn baby? Do you remember how those fierce mama baron stinks kicked in? I laugh as I write this because truth be told, I wasn't an earth mama attuned to her body, mind, and spirit 24 years ago when my son was born, like I would be today. But suddenly after he arrived in this world, I wouldn't allow them to take him to the nursery and instead kept him in my room and in my bed, shock and awe. Today, young mamas are so much more aligned with their instincts, but all those years ago, the nurses at this well-renowned hospital in New York City were giving me a hard time, but I didn't care. Something had come alive within me, something undeniable. And when I took that tiny little person home for the first time, I became fiercely protective. As moms, we want to protect, nurture, stand in front of our children and prevent them from any suffering, pain, or adversity. Hey, can't blame a mama for trying. Do you remember all the gadgets and equipment that took hours to figure out how to put together and operate, the streams of manuals flying everywhere? I had my Manhattan apartment professionally baby-proofed just to be safe. And then the joke was on me. I had a kid that got into nothing and broke nothing. I was detached from trusting my intuition and teaching my child how to trust his. And no professional service was going to be able to solve that child-proof locks or not. I still remember the day my little guy tried to open a kitchen cabinet and I simply said no. He looked at me, kind of shrugged his little shoulders, let go of the door and moved on. It was that simple. Still, we try to put guardrails on everything imaginable to protect everyone else around us. Everyone we love, our kids, our spouses, our family, our friends, our homes, our jobs. What about you, mama? Where are your emotional guardrails? How are you supporting and protecting yourself, especially now? Do you even feel comfortable asking or know where to start? I'm currently working on a labor of love, writing a divorce book because I want so desperately to shift the commonly accepted narrative of divorce. It's outdated and missing pieces, big pieces. The old story treats divorce like a checklist, but you aren't high up on that priority list. Paperwork, check. Lawyer or mediator, check. Financial planner, check. Co-parenting counselor, check. And where are you in this mix? Your emotional well-being is discarded like an afterthought, something you'll just have to pick up on the other side. No time for self-care, exercise, or self-indulgence. No time for feeling and healing. No time for you. Let's face it, there's no room for you in this equation and it's go time in your divorce. But think about that a moment. Does that make any sense? Your emotional state and well-being will dictate everything. How you will face tough challenges and decisions, how you will get yourself through it, and the mental and physical condition you will be in. How you will deal with your kids, how you will handle work, how your next chapter will unfold, and how bumpy the ride to there will be. Hey, I get that the overwhelm is real. Overwhelm in motherhood is served up like a daily entree and especially so during divorce. You can't squeeze yourself out of the equation mama, you are the equation. And sure, you may have to remove something from the to-do list to make room for yourself. You may have to say no to something to say yes to you. You may have to set a boundary or two. The old ways are no longer serving you and there is no denying them, so now what? Allow yourself to view this all differently. Shift your perspective. Look at your life from a different angle through a new lens. Hey, I know those sentiments can sound like a bunch of pretty words, but they bear so much truth and power. I get to witness it in real time with the women in our coaching program every week. Just the other day in a recent group class where we get into the juiciest, loving, supportive, kick-in-the-ass heartfelt conversations, big discoveries were made and aha moments were ahead. This is where it starts with the willingness to receive the support of emotional guardrails. You don't have to have any answers, just the willingness to say yes to yourself. I want out. I want to heal. I want love, support, tips, and strategies to get there. I want emotional guardrails. That's it. It's easy to get stuck in patterns, thinking we have to approach things a certain way, be a certain way, and unable to get out of our own heads. But the old ways are no longer servicing you or your divorce. And you know that even if you don't know what to do next. That's okay. This is a big moment. The overwhelm is real. Your self-reflection is the first big step, but you don't have to do this alone. If you want someone to walk beside you during this transition in your life, if you want some emotional guardrails and someone to hold your hand as you go, I'm just a phone call away. Our approach to divorce is turning the old narrative on its side. The intuitive divorce transforms divorces and lives, one mother at a time. Will you be next? I sure hope so. Thanks for listening to today's episode, but more importantly, for making this time for yourself. If you're a professional independent mother facing off with divorce, struggling with your emotions, worried about your kids and your future, and want a better way to navigate it all, I've got two ways to completely change the trajectory of your divorce and your life starting today. The first is our free divorce workshop. In this training, you'll learn the three steps to get off the emotional rollercoaster and take control of your divorce so you can save time, money, and heartache for you and your family. Simply go to intuitive divorce.com/workshop. And the second way is to book a free strategy call with our team, where we'll dive into your situation, your struggles, what you really want, and outline a path to get you there. For a short video and the booking link, go to intuitive divorce.com/call. Check it out and I'll see you inside. Now I have a favor to ask you, mama. If you enjoyed this conversation and were inspired in your own divorce, please subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss future juicy talks. And I'd be so grateful if you'd leave a review so together, we can help other mamas walking in the same shoes. [Music] [BLANK_AUDIO]