The Intuitive Divorce: Saving Time, Money & Heartache for Moms and their Kids
Follow Your Gut
"Hey, mamas." A recent conversation with one of the women I coached sparked me to write this when she said, "I had to become the person I thought my mediator "was supposed to be." Ugh. Divorce is daunting. Whether it was dropped on you or you did the dropping. It's overwhelming because it digs up everything. Lots of feelings, lots of overwhelm, lots of uncertainty. That could make you want to run and hide. And of course, our initial response is, "Please just make the pain stop." Accordingly, we hire mediators or attorneys or any other number of professionals that we think will do just that. And it's sort of as if we're saying, "Hey, can you clean this up and let me know when it's all over?" And I know that sounds a little silly and oversimplified, but I mean seriously, if only, right? But you're here because you know there's no turning back. There's no unseeing what you see, no unfeeling what you feel. You will need help to navigate this, but first, before anything else, you need to trust yourself and your intuition. Learning how to do this is a game-changing strategy that shifts everything. That's what I want to talk to you about today. I'm calling this conversation, "Follow your gut." Hi there, mamas, welcome to the Intuitive Divorce Podcast. I'm Kristen Noel, Certified Divorce Coach and creator of the best self-intuitive divorce, a game-changing program that transforms the experience and outcomes of divorce, one mother at a time. I call it divorcing differently. I'm here each week, bringing you a quick message to support, inspire, and empower you to achieve the outcomes you want for yourself and your kids. So, let's dive into today's episode. When faced with a divorce, people just wanted to be told where to go, what to do, how to make the pain stop. Can't say I blame them, however, if only it were that easy. But divorce, like yourself, is not cookie cutter, one size fits all. You'll really want to find a way to show up for yourself and make decisions that are aligned with your desired outcomes. Why is that so important? You'll get lots of opinions from friends, family, and coworkers, even professionals about what you should do, how you should do it, and when you should do it. But that doesn't necessarily mean you should do or listen to any of it if it doesn't feel right to you. You're the one who will be left to live with the ramifications of these choices. And it's hard to even imagine all of the possible outcomes when you're just beginning the process. There are a lot of variables and there's a lot at stake. Besides, everyone else gets to go back to their lives when the divorce dust settles, leaving you with their opinions and the aftermath. I don't share this because I want you to be scared or more overwhelmed than you may already be feeling. I want you to find a way to feel empowered despite feeling disempowered. I also want you to know that you can make sustainable change so that you never find yourself in this position again and so that you can move through life adversity in a whole new way. It's powerful to simply be able to state where you are and how you feel. Better yet, what you need. I'm scared, I'm overwhelmed. I feel alone and confused, I feel enraged, I need help. It's okay to feel all of that and still one out of your marriage. You have your reasons, this didn't happen overnight, but you know what? No one wants to be alone in a crisis. A mama who doesn't lean in risks wasting time, money and suffering a lot of unnecessary heartache. Quick fixes don't work here. I was recently talking to one of the mamas in our program who said, I had to become the person I thought my mediator was supposed to be, boom. Initially, she was optimistic that this path would be kinder, gentler and less costly. Until she began to feel like the mediator wasn't doing her job by guiding the process or keeping her and her ex on track. Now, this isn't intended to bash mediation, it's a great option, but not one that can work for all. There are two takeaways from this that I want you to remember. One, follow your gut. For example, initially mediation was definitely a worthwhile option for this mama. And two, follow your gut. When it felt like it was veering off course, she pivoted. Your intuition will serve you on all sides of the equation. I kid you not. And as we say in our coaching program, you need to be the CEO of your divorce and life. It doesn't mean you have to have all the answers, it means you trust yourself. When we deny what we are seeing, feeling, picking up, even when we aren't an expert in a particular field, we risk compounding all the issues and creating more chaos and clean up for ourselves. And in this particular case, this mama saved time, money and heartache by changing course. She ditched the mediator and retained a lawyer who took control of this runaway train. Reconnecting true intuition isn't fluff. It's strategy. As my famous friend Sonya Shoket, AKA the Queen of Intuition says in her book, "21 Days to Jump Start Your Intuition," "Being disconnected from our intuition is like trying to find our way through a dense, fierce jungle at night without a flashlight and with no protection." One of the most common reasons that mothers wind up in divorce and then struggle through it is it's somewhere along the way they've become disconnected from their intuition, your God-given inner compass. It's your gut. It's the butterflies in your belly when you're in love, the goosebumps when you're excited, the pit in your stomach when you're anxious. It's where your true answers are found. So why do we ignore it? Because we don't trust ourselves and we practice that until we forget how. But there's a direct path back to self-agency. I don't expect you to know how to divorce or navigate the process, but I want to guide you back to figuring out how to reconnect to your intuition so that you can make the moves you need to make during this pivotal time. And more importantly, trust yourself, feel supported and good about the choices you're making. It's possible, mama, I promise. I see it in motion each and every day. You suffered in your marriage, you don't have to suffer in your divorce. Are you ready for a flashlight, a road map and a travel companion? You've got this. Your intuition is doing a happy dance as we speak and I'm right here waiting to walk beside you. Thanks for listening to today's episode. But more importantly, for making this time for yourself. If you're a professional independent mother facing off with divorce, struggling with your emotions, worried about your kids and your future and want a better way to navigate it all, I've got two ways to completely change the trajectory of your divorce and your life starting today. The first is our free divorce workshop. In this training, you'll learn the three steps to get off the emotional roller coaster and take control of your divorce so you can save time, money and heartache for you and your family. Simply go to intuitivedivorce.com/workshop. And the second way is to book a free strategy call with our team where we'll dive into your situation, your struggles, what you really want and outline a path to get you there. For a short video and the booking link, go to intuitivedivorce.com/call. Check it out and I'll see you inside. (gentle music) (gentle music) (gentle music) (gentle music) [BLANK_AUDIO]