Amala Ekpunobi

10 Black Men vs 3 White Men on Race Stereotypes

Jubilee had three white men face off one at a time against ten black men to test their race-related assumptions about arrests, fatherlessness, interracial relationships, the N word, and more. Let’s watch and react!

Original Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgvN8Y2KSw8

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Duration:: 45m
Broadcast on:: 19 Jul 2024
Audio Format:: mp3

Today, we're gonna watch three white men say out loud the assumptions that they make about black men to their faces This could go a lot of different ways. Let's react Guys before we get into today's video Please like and subscribe often times we talk about the topic of race on this channel and in that topic We have assumptions and stereotypes that we make about just about every single race now Some of these stereotypes are true some of them not so true But oftentimes we're not saying them out loud more so than that We're not saying them to a group of people who are from that race itself and today We're gonna watch three white men actually say the assumptions that they make about black men out loud to their faces And it's a whole group of them. This is from Jubilee and as I said, we don't know how this is gonna go But let's watch the froze are kind of in the same category as redlocks, right? What would you say you have an Afro? No I Could see why a lot of white people are confused about black hair There's so many different dimensions of black hair in styles of black hair and they're all in their own separate category And at the same time we feel like a lot of white people feel a little bit of Trumpidation when it comes to asking questions about it So I could see how you could get confused on that subject and maybe we'll break that down further in this video Hey, my name is Andrew. My relationship with black people is as I've moved to more bigger cities I've gotten to have more diverse people in my life. Taylor is that you? Have I diverse fun group. I also have hip-hop danced I've been on three different hip-hop dance crews and obviously black people are really integral to okay. That's not Taylor. Sorry Taylor I Love starting out this video with like hey, my name is blank my relationship with black people Imagine asking anybody like what's your relationship with Hispanic people? What's your relationship with white people and them having to give you an answer on that? These are some very brave men coming out here and And answering these questions and he's talking about like hip-hop dance things like that I could see a lot of people taking offense to that But I'm glad we're sort of letting the air out of the situation and allowing people to sit down to just be honest Hip-hop and so I've had a lot of experience with black people through that. I'm a name is Joe. I'm 25 My relationship to black people has mostly been international since I grew up overseas So it's actually primarily been just Africans instead of African Americans. Hello, my name is Oscar and my relationship to black people in general Is black women? I don't really have relationships with black men or men in general So this experience is gonna be exciting to kind of put my opinion and see what I know versus what I don't know Okay, let me think about that actually. I'm like, what is my relationship to black people? Obviously, I have African family half of my family is African. I've known black people my entire life I'd say I grew up in a predominantly white area, but I'm not talking about like 90% white We've got quite a few different races and ethnic backgrounds going on in the area that I grew up in so Constantly black people in my life constantly black friends in my life and of course my family. So there you go That's my relation to black people. I've never given that much thought to be honest Pew research poll revealed that 18% of newlyweds with one black partner were in an interracial marriage So out of this group of 10 men, how many do you think are or have been in an interracial relationship? Likes white people here I'm not around men. So this is kind of like my first like experience I've never even been in a room with this many men before so I'm gonna say you have just the card again They said he got the mr. Rogers fit on so he must love white people I have to think about this They asked how many of you have been in an interracial relationship and they immediately jump to how many of you have dated white people Are we taking in you know dating Hispanic Asian all these other different backgrounds as far as whether or not They've been in an interracial relationship or am I judging whether or not they've dated a white person because these two things are very different But we live in a day and age where interracial relationships are the norm essentially So I would not be surprised if many of these men have been in interracial relationships I would probably dictate at least 60% of them in the category of having been in an interracial relationship If not more than that, but I guess it depends on whether or not we're asking white women specifically Or just all races outside of being black and in one something about your vibe seems like you just really nice and look really friendly and not that the rest of you don't jeez He said you dress really nice and you look really friendly is he attributing those things to whiteness Which is so funny because obviously he's just being nice and saying nice things about this guy But because it's a racial dynamic that's inserted into this video. You have to sort of walk on eggshells Surrounding this subject and say I didn't actually mean that if you're nice and friendly that that means you would like white people Sorry guys, but I have to say something. I'm gonna accidentally find offensive I'm just basing. He's like, I think he would like white women. I don't know You were really friendly to me when I first walked in and you seemed someone very Comfortable approaching white people so I'll say you've been going a funny thing with you too I don't know why it is, but I feel like one of you has one of you hasn't I'm gonna go with you. You're smiling big right now. You like white people I'm gonna pause here and try to figure out like if I'm looking at them Maybe I would go for like if I'm not going off of their blackness because that's not gonna tell me much They could have very well of all dated white women or something like that Maybe I would go off of like the more hipstery your outfit is like the guy in the yellow outfit is sort of playing around with this style a little bit Maybe he's dated a white woman with a guy in the overalls. I feel like maybe Maybe he's dated a white woman like maybe the first white guy was onto something when he said the cardigan Like look at the style and maybe that will tell you something, but I have a feeling There's just no way. There's no way of knowing these things. [Laughter] Like you like white women. That's great. So I'm gonna say no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, Oscar's the eight out of ten. If you are or have been in an interracial relationship, please step forward and play your story in three, two, one. [Laughter] Boom! Ten out of ten! Oh my gosh, Dr. Umar would be rolling right now, watching this video. [Laughter] And I know it's interesting because there is a lot of stigma still that exist about interracial relationships, and a lot of that is within the black community. We talk about interracial relationships, and a lot of people try to say, "Oh, white people feel some sort of way about it." If you brought a black girlfriend to a white household, they wouldn't be so accepting of her. But you'll find a lot of times in black households and households of people of color, you'll find a dynamic just like that. There is a lot of stigma about dating outside of your race within the black community and within other communities of color, if that's what we're going to call them, these days. So, you know, ten out of ten of these men have done an interracial relationship, so let's hear about it. [Laughter] No, I'm not even going to be with those parents statistics. No, I'm not even going to be with them. No, I'll take it. [Laughter] Oh, well, okay. I love that. So, I mean, environmentally speaking wise, I went to like a predominantly white school. So, statistically, like, I was more likely to date someone who was white than isn't. So, I mean, I've been in a relationship with my Hispanic girlfriend for about five years now. And so, I've never been intentionally saying, "Oh, I want to be in an interracial relationship." It just happened. All of my serious relationships have been interracial, but they've all been with minorities. So, like, I've never had a serious relationship with a white girl, and I've dated white girls. But I feel like when I have, they don't pick up on certain microaggressions when you're out that, like, a person of color would or a minority would. I got pulled over. Interesting. Let me let him, normal, let him speak. We're by the cops with a white girl in the passenger seat that I was dating, and my ID was in the backseat. And I wanted her to grab and sit at me, and she was like, "Why don't you just grab yourself?" And she didn't really understand why that might be uncomfortable for me. I think for me, when I'm in my interracial relationship, I've been in, like, one with one white girl, and it's the stairs from, like, I get from a other people that make me, like, so uncomfortable. I'm gay, too. Okay. Let's pause. Let's talk about that. Let's talk about the dealing of microaggressions within a relationship. I imagine that would be a tough thing considering there's a lot of people that don't agree on what microaggressions are, and if we've experienced a microaggression. So if you are a black person dating a white person who is convinced of this narrative of microaggressions, then, yeah, it would be tough to sort of get on the same page with those different things. I feel like a lot of minority individuals have sort of come to a consensus, especially if you're pretty left leaning and you're into these microaggression conversations. You're in on the worldview. You're seeing things in the same light, whereas a white person who has not necessarily been a part of those conversations inserted into a world where microaggressions now exist or at least they perceive them to exist, they're going to have a hard time getting on the same page. You know what I mean there? Is that making sense? I am a biracial person who is not taking things in as microaggressions, and if I was dating that man, we probably wouldn't see things in the same light there, and we probably wouldn't be offended by the same things. So it's a tough conversation. I wouldn't attribute that mindset particularly to white people. It's a worldview that exists with some people and doesn't with others. You say you're not alone? I think in our community, it's just more common to date outside of your race, especially with the black culture and accepting queerness and stuff. A lot of black men who are also who also date men tend to like have to venture out or find themselves venturing out for that community. According to the US Census, 46% of black children are living only with their mother compared to 17% of white children. Out of this sample size, how many do you think grew up in a house with both parents? Ooh. Man, this is hard. It's kind of hard to point to someone and say, "Hey, I think your father wasn't around. That's a pretty rough thing to do." Rough thing to do indeed. Let's see how they figure this out. I'm trying to think of questions that I would ask. All right. How many people's parents are international? Great question. Okay. Cool, cool, cool. Okay. So I'm going to say, I think that's a safe for one to say that maybe I'll have your parents around. I think every person's a coin flip literally with a statistic, but also just with a sense of like, everyone here seems like they're really well put together individuals and I think that can come from both a hardship, but also from an advantageous place. I love that he said that, you know, he prefaced the judgment he's about to make on them by like, you guys all seem like great guys and great guys can be the result of a two parent household. They can be the result of a single parent household and maybe you went through a little bit of hardship there. Maybe you didn't. But you all turned out great. Now let me go ahead and make my assumptions here. Also the question of whether or not your parents are international is a pretty important question as well because this marriage or, you know, lack thereof, I guess issue if that's what we want to call it here in the United States is sort of like a US Western problem. So if your parents are African, marriage would probably be a little bit more sacred and you could maybe assume that the parents have stayed together and they continue to be together through the upbringing of their child. Whereas if you are a native born American black person, you might have a lot, a likelier outcome of having a single parent in the house as you were growing up. So that would be a way to really split things. I think I'd also ask like, are your parents super religious? And if so, like are they, are they in church every Sunday? These types of things because you would think that religious background might cement their marriage a little bit more and they'd probably be staying together. These are the type of questions that I would be asking them. So I think the way I'm going to decide this is how emotional this question seems to be making you. I believe you both, I believe you have, and I believe you have to as well. To be honest, I'm going to just assume everybody because I can't even like give a reason and base it off of, I'm going to say no, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, so there's assuming a lot of them grew up with two parents in the household. I would immediately say all the Africans, your parents are probably together. And I say that as a person with one African parent, and my parents did end up together. Okay, let's get that on the record. So in the Africans, the church-going parents, you probably have a two-parent household. So I maybe like take three of the guys out and say, maybe you grew up in a single parent household because we had a lot of Africans in this group or, you know, a lot of people from outside of the US in this group. I know right off the bat, just a little bit. Charles. Charles, I like your style. I think it's really good. I feel like it is a little bit more dressed down and I guess that was kind of the more casual style of it. If you grew up in a house with both parents, please step forward in three, two, one. Ooh. Hey. Hey. Hey. Almost got it. You might have been honest with something with the style there. I said three of them would step back and two of them step back, so I was wrong. I was like, what about it? I grew with my mom, my whole life. My dad was like, sort of in, you know, like he was there, he lived in a different city most of my life. So he left when I was like, three. Culturally speaking, coming from Africa, the voice isn't really a thing. Like, I don't think, I don't think we've even, I don't, I don't know anyone in my life. It's from like the end. Yeah. You're from. You don't divorce. But being there for your family is, is this incomprehensible? Me and myself. I'm a father. I'm in the military. So my son lives in Texas while I live in San Diego. I mean, his mom broke up before I joined the Navy, but I'm there as much as I can be. And I'm actually in a custody battle to get my son. But I know there's outside perceptions like, oh, he's a dead beat and everything like that. But I prove it time and time again that I'm there for my son. It's just unfortunate that that stereotype's a thing. I think when it comes to the stereotype of men that didn't grow up with a father, it's, they didn't know their father. For me personally, I knew my dad when I was growing up. My parents divorced when I was in about elementary school. After that, I didn't really have contact with my dad. So my mom has always been that rock for me, my superhero. I mean, I'm definitely a mom as a boy when it comes to my mom. I call her on father's days to just to say, hey, thank you so much for taking care of me. That is so sweet. I do the same with my mom. My mom gets a mother's day present and a father's day present because, you know, she held it down. She was there. So I love that he said that aloud and then, you know, shout out to all the single parents who are doing, you know, carrying the load of two parents on, you know, one back. That's a lot. That's a lot to deal with. In 2001, the sentencing project estimated that one in three black men would spend time in prison. By 2021, one in 55 black men were incarcerated. Well, can you reflect on what you know about the relationship between the black community and the police? Oh, the police. I don't just in general, the police already know like their racists, their pigs like it takes one, well, no, one, there's one bad cop, but those good cops are going to do anything about it. I don't know if he actually believes this or if he's saying this because he's in a group of black people, but maybe he actually believes this. You would be dead wrong on making a hasty generalization like this about police officers. And I know this through personal experience with wonderful police officers who work day in and out to not only hold themselves accountable, but to hold other police officers accountable and hold the people in their community accountable, which is what good, hardworking law by fighting citizens want from police officers to sort of just say like a cab and police are pigs and they're racist and this and that and the other doesn't work for me. And I hope there's at least one black man in this group that disagrees with him and maybe calls him out on that because you got to imagine there amongst black people, not all of us feel that way about police officers. So you might feel like you're in a room that's going to applaud you for saying something like that, but you just might not be. So maybe that was out of his own mind, but also maybe he was just making a statement that he felt like needed to be said in that moment. This group, how many people do you think have been arrested? Whoa, I don't know that many people that have been arrested. One thing I can go off of is maybe like stereotypes, what I feel like maybe is and this is not a reflection on y'all, but more reflection on kind of the American culture and policemen in general. Okay, these are black men in LA filming a Jubilee video. I'm not going to imagine that really any of them have been arrested. And if they have, not for anything serious, like this is not going to be anything crazy, I'd imagine. I would probably just go ahead and say none of them. I think that would be my guess, probably none of them have been arrested. It's just not, this doesn't seem to be the demographic of a black man that you would think would have some sort of altercation with a cop or, or would be committing a crime of any kind. But I guess Americans haven't always been great about dreadlocks and like treating that as like, you know, I think those get judged more so I could see if you have dreadlocks that might make you more likely to like be targeted by the police. I think it's maybe going to be like one of you, one or two of you, something like that. Maybe I'm saying zero is super ignorant. I don't know, but I'm going to say I don't feel like there's anything to back up that statement about dreadlocks being more likely to have an encounter with police officers. I'm wondering where he got that from or what, what he thought that was based on. No one. I can see police targeting you. You're a big muscly dude, you have dreadlocks, you're certainly someone that could be seen as an intimidating threat so I could see you being targeted and I'm sorry if that does happen to you. And then, uh, no, I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say it's so interesting that the question was how many of these men do you think have been arrested and now he's pointing out the men that he thinks would have been targeted that none of these men could have conceivably been been arrested for actually committing a crime or doing something wrong, that it must by default mean that the police officer has targeted them because they are intimidating. It's fascinating. Fascinating. No, I feel like, I mean, froze are kind of in the same category as dreadlocks, right? I don't know. I don't know. What? Let's say thank you. This is an effort to you. I'm not trying to be like. No, no, no, I guess it's like a, I mean, it's obviously not like a throw, right? Yeah. Would you say? Okay, please. It's not that far from being a fro. I know they're trying to catch him on a you don't understand black hair moment, but if he had not had the shit, the sides shaved, that's a damn fro. Come on now. Don't try to call him out too hard for that. Hopefully they go easy on him. Have an Afro. No. I don't know. I'm going to get an idiot. No, no, no, no, no. This is my life. Okay. Oh my God. I'm so embarrassed about the fro thing. Obviously I don't have black hair myself. I don't have to worry about or think about black hairstyles that much, but still that's pretty embarrassing. I think that shows a pretty. It's not embarrassing, Andrew. You're okay. I think they even said, no, no, no, it's fine. It's fine. Don't worry about it, Andrew. You're good. Big knowledge gap there. I'm going to go high here and just select a large amount because I feel like is there is going to be more men than there are less that this has happened to. So yes. Yes. Yes. I'd probably say all of you. Oh, no, no, no, yes, no, I think all of them have been arrested. That would be crazy if they have all been arrested. Oh, no, no, no, no. If you have been arrested, please step forward and share your story in three, two, one. Well, hey, I was right that I was only one or two. I just got the a bro. That's so hilarious. Andrew is constantly making his judgments based on style. He did like the cardigan, the not too dressed up guy, the fro, which I guess he misspoke on. And he's been banging them out. He's getting them right for the most part. Right. Yes. Y'all were like actually in jail. We'll just arrest it. Mine has an asterisk. I was at a Dave Matthews band concert that I had no business being at. I don't even listen to Dave Matthews, but I grew up in like a predominantly white area and it wasn't my friends listened to. Most of my friends were white. So we went to tailgate and drink. We did the whole like steal your mom's vodka. You fill up your water bottle, hop on a train. We went to Philly. So we were in the parking lot and we were all drinking around our cars, me, bunch of white dudes and their cops sort of like making sure that people filter into the concert, aren't getting too rowdy. And he like splits the crowd, goes straight from me out of all my white friends, grabs my water bottle, sniffs it, pours it out and he writes me a ticket that counts as an arrest. It was a citation. I didn't leave his post so he couldn't cuff me and put me in his car, but the citation counted as an arrest. So it's the first time I got arrested. Okay. So I guess he's going to call that an instance of targeting and he's going to say that's because he was black and you know, he was surrounded by white people and he got singled out. Could it also be that you were maybe displaying behavior of somebody who was drinking alcohol and the cop could tell and he pointed you out and he sniffed the water bottle and he was in fact correct that you were drinking underage apparently in a public event or I guess is that a private event? I don't know. It doesn't matter. Was the cop correct that you were doing something inappropriate and wrong? Yeah. So how targeted were you? Because if you weren't committing an act, an illegal act of drinking underage, maybe you would have just been fine. Maybe. Food for thought. I was 15 and I had a driver's permit, but I didn't have like a license. And so I got arrested, the cop pulled me over. They didn't think it was my car that I was stolen so that was the whole thing. It was my like the car my parents gave me and then they detained me and everything, took me to the police station and had me holding some stuff. For like normally for that you just get like sighted or they'll call your parents, so I'll pick you up. That was like incredibly booked and like in the like the fingerprints and all that. Wow. I've never had. Okay. Sounds like there may have been an overreaction in him being arrested and detained, but also were you doing something you weren't supposed to be doing? Okay. We can say they might have gone a little bit too far, but were you doing something you weren't supposed to be doing? And presumably because they when asked, you know, were you put in jail, they said, well we were arrested. Presumably the parents came, cleared up the story, he didn't steal the car. This is our car and they probably pick you up and and let you go. But you want something you weren't supposed to be doing? You know, like you could avoid for the most part bad situations with police officers by not doing illegal things for the most part. That's like a tried and true rule for avoiding bad encounters with police. Just don't be doing bad things for the most part. Of course there are exceptions and police get power hungry and abuse their power and single out people that they shouldn't single out, but hey, have you tried following the law? They were young. I'll let it slide. You guys don't. I'm not coming down on them too hard. Okay. Negative interaction with the police officer before. I think I've always had great interactions. Most of my gym friends, buddies that work out with are all police officers, never had negative notation. I think anytime and this is my perspective, I'm not going to put one negative interaction with one person as a blanket on everything. Thank you Matthew. Thank you for saying that. There had to be at least one person who was going to say, "Wait a second, a cab. They're all bastards. They're all pigs." I don't have that experience. I haven't been arrested, but I am also very conscious of my parents' very intentional effort to raise their children in a way that prevents that. And I'm not saying this is like a positive standpoint. These locks are a very new development. It never happened as a kid, don't wear hoodies, don't wear your pants in a certain way, right? So it's like a very meticulous, kind of child-wearing that I can contribute to not having been arrested by the police, but even that granted I've had many situations with the police. I think the fact that black parents have to be so intentional about helping their child avoid the penal system, it's just too hard to ignore or to deem as an inconsequential thing. I would hope that every parent meticulously trains their child not to have engagement with police officers and not to be in a situation where they're going to encounter police officers. I would ask that of white parents, Hispanic parents, black parents, it does not matter. Interestingly, we have a mix of both Native-born black Americans in this group and African Americans in this group. And when you look into the stats on how often these two different groups have altercations with police officers, it's much higher for Native-born black Americans and you'll have to ask yourself why, what is the cultural difference that exists between these two groups that leads to less encounters with police officers amongst African Americans? It's just a question because they're both perceived in the same way by police officers. I can't tell a Native-born black American from an African American, can you? So what's the difference there? And maybe the difference is what that young man just spoke about that his parents very meticulously went over how to deal with these situations, what you should and should not do. You understand, you guys' perspective, but I also very much share that same perspective. But I think a better thing to say is like the policing system. I don't think... Okay. That's the... Yeah. That's the... I personally, actually, my experiences have been pretty positive. Like, I've been... I've been stopped by the police. I was... Like, I'm from New York. I've jumped to textile. And the police have stopped me. They're a student. Just don't do that again. They've been good cops in my life, but I think they're good people who become cops. Yes. And I think that's... I think that's a better statement. I think it's important to know that other countries' policing is, like, for wellness. And I think a lot of you guys' critiques is, like, policing is militarization here. Yeah. Or, like, advanced incarceration. But a lot of places, police are to, like, keep people safe. And I think ours is, like, for order. If I was in that circle, there was two who would have been the last people that I would have ever gotten in a rest or in a rest record. So I think that was what was most surprising and the lack of others who stepped up. Yeah. I mean, it's interesting that they say, like, other countries, they feel, like, policing is more about wellness and ours is more about order. I guess I could see that to a certain extent. I know a lot of people make the argument, especially surrounding the topic of homelessness. Like, a lot of our policing of homelessness is not necessarily surrounding these people's wellness and how to get them on a better track in life. And then our recidivism rate is pretty high here in the United States. So I think there could be an element of that. But I'm also a very law and order individual. You need law. You need order. And if you're going to have law, it needs to be enforced law. And we've seen that as we let up on laws, like here in California, things like shoplifting, which we are now just, like, blatantly allowing in this state, crime goes up. And there is chaos rather than order. So I think it's fine and healthy balance. And maybe we could do some good to inject a little bit more of wellness into our policing system and our policing structures, but not at the expense of order. What percentage of Black men do you think have experienced being called the Android by someone who is not Black? I'd say pretty high. I won't say, like, 90% probably on the pool. According to this study, the percentage of Black adults who have been called the N-word or other racial slurs by a non-Black person is 51%. Oh, that's lower than I thought. OK, that's good. That's good. Better. Not good at all. I'm going to go ahead and say all of them. All of them have been called the N-word by somebody who is non-Black. I've been called the N-word by somebody who's non-Black. My brother has. My sister has. I'm pretty sure my entire Black family has probably been called the N-word at some point. And that's not to say that there's this overwhelming abundance of racism here in the United States. You just get the kid in school who thinks it's the coolest thing to go and say the N-word because it's the word you're not supposed to say, and they're going around shouting it all the time. And I feel like within every student class, there's the one class clown a-hole that has to go around and do these things who wants to just be abrasive and be the cool kid that nobody views as being cool. And that type of personality would go towards calling random Black people that you see the N-word. So I would say it's probably not necessarily a universal experience, but I would guess among this group. They've all experienced this in some way. And I'm sure there's other things that people have been called that are outside of the Black race that we've almost universally experienced. And it's just because you get a few bad apples in a bunch. And that's it. But our group, how many do you think have been called the N-word by an on-black person? I know a lot of y'all have more African descent, but still a lot of y'all group in America, so that wouldn't necessarily change that. I'll probably try to stick more to the statistic you told me of 50%, but I honestly think it could happen to anyone, so I really have nothing to go off of here. I would honestly say all of you guys again, not to like give the easy answer, but I feel like it's, again, more common. I'm applying my experience with the word "f*** it" towards, you know, that. Like, I've heard things called "Oh, that's gay" or something like that. Yeah. Right. I'm going to say yes, no, yes, no, no, yes, yes, yes, no, no. And you got to see that these guys are all like in their 30s, so they're entering their adulthood out of an era where we were far less PC than we are now. This was like a young Gen Alpha group of black men or black boys. I would say, you know, maybe a few of you have been called the N-word. And if a few of you have been called the N-word, it's been like online. It's never been in person. You saw somebody on X call you the N-word, and you got, you know, offended by that. Because of PC culture and the policing of language, I think this would be far less common for a younger group than it would be for these guys who were in their 30s. I feel like if not everyone, about eight or nine people here could probably point to a place in our life where they can remember being called a racial slur. I think I'm going all 10. Now, if you have been called the N-word by a non-black person, please step forward and share your story in three, two, one. Ooh, not all of them, eight out of ten, eight out of ten, okay. Okay, so I was more right with my initially high estimate, yeah. We were actually talking about this earlier, and I love my friends call me the N-word, and my friends are not black, so like for me, it's not like, I'm not that crazy thing. They're not white, so don't get it to me. But for me, I guess my rule around the N-word is a little different than I think I'm not other people. And so like my friends are Hispanic, and so like for me, and I also grew up, I'm from New York, I'm from the Bronx, and so I grew up around Puerto Rican and Dominicans, and so for me, it's like we all lived this struggle together for me to now then push myself and say, oh, I can say this, but you guys can't, is weird considering we all grew up together and we all grew up in the same environment, and we pretty much had the same experiences. At the end of the day, we're all poor. Interesting. You know, I've seen a few people sort of have this very same message or the same sentiment towards the N-word. I'll be honest, I don't care who says the N-word. I guess I would care more about like how it said, are you trying to be derogatory, trying to, you know, fuel racial hate and divide? I don't know. At the end of the day, like words, I'm not too offended by anything, to be honest. But I do recognize that there is this general okay-ness with somebody saying the N-word, if it feels like it is culturally embedded in the way that they're saying it. Like if you heard a white person who grew up in a suburb, say the N-word, versus a white person who grew up in the hood, say the N-word, it would sound different, it would feel different. The same thing for a Hispanic or, you know, you say Puerto Rican Dominican. Same thing for an Asian person. There's a way in which we hear the N-word where we go, oh, that sounds like it's actually natural to you. And then there's ways that we hear it and we go, we know that's not natural to you. You're just throwing out the word to throw out the word. And you'll find with a lot of people, if you sound comfortable saying it, and it sounds like it's a part of the culture that you grew up in, people aren't really going to have a problem with you saying the word, which, you know, I don't care. I don't think there needs to be some huge fight over the N-word. I also don't think there needs to be this big push for everybody to be able to say it. I just simply don't care. But that's an interesting thing. If it sounds culturally normal for you, a lot of people are not going to bat an eye. So it was like, why, why quibble over this one word, and there's a lot, there's a lot more to like, quibble about. Yeah, I would say for me, I had a friend, white friend, and we were just hanging out and he said it, but it wasn't so much malice behind it, it was more of like, you know, the friend type of vibe. And in that moment, you know, I just thought to myself, okay, why is he saying it? Is he saying it to be funny, to be cool, to try to fit in? And it was just one of those things where he's like, oh, well, you said it, why can't I say it? And in that moment, you know, it started really thinking about, okay, the use of the word, when do we say it, or do we even have that line of, if you say it, I can say it kind of thing. At that point, I kind of just stopped saying it around him, because it's like, I don't want to give him that power to be able to just say it so freely. Interesting. When I hear stories like this, I just think about all the energy that's being wasted on something that's a word that was never meant to be derogatory, at least in the instance that he stated it was used. If you have a white friend who says the N word, because you said the N word and is using it to refer to you as a friend or all these different things as the N word is often used these days, why waste the energy on now trying to police your language to then police their language and to set up a structure where they no longer feel comfortable saying the word because you feel some type of way about the word when you could just let go of the burden of it and allow people to speak freely and really exercise more control over your own self in what makes you emotional and what triggers you. I think that's far more powerful than now I'm not going to say a word that I'm comfortable with because I don't want somebody else to be comfortable with saying that word is just too much energy. So I've never been called it. You've worded the question in a way to where I'm I'm back here, but I've been called a racial slur just wasn't by someone not black literally this morning. I was called a colorist, the C word, rhymes with soon because they saw previous videos on it was a nectar video where we were swiping on women basically and I swiped on a black woman and this person was upset that I didn't choose the one black person that I encountered. Three years ago I would say my pro debut in boxing, Rollins South Carolina never forget coming out with the entrance, walking the opponent was coming out to and he had get that **** out of here you know that one didn't rub me off the wrong way because the guy was going to sleep regardless. I run into that a lot. I don't mind it. It is what it is. I would just stay blessed and keep it pushing. Right. I mean, okay, let's unpack that story. A lot of people, it seems in this instance, saying the words, they're not saying it to be like, I hate black people and you need to go back on to the plantation. He's saying it because he's like, okay, this is probably a word that either they identify with and this person identifies with, we're about to get into fight. I'm just going to say something and you know, rile them up a little bit and after the fight you go good fight, you know, and when you watch the UFC, a lot of these fighters get so heated calling each other this that they go out there and fight and then they tap each other up after the fight and they go about their business. It's just part of what you're doing. It's not such a big deal, you know, we can just let it slide and let it pass. And to John's story, I think that's his name, John, about the fact that he was called a coon for not swiping right on a black woman is very, very prominent within the black community. There is this like gatekeeping and safeguarding of like black love, black joy, black relationships. We want to see black men with black women and especially when you get on videos like this and you publicly go towards somebody of another race or maybe you just weren't interested in the one black woman in front of you and you swipe left on her, people get pissed in the comments and this exists in every race. Do not get me wrong, but those people are misguided and crazy. You know, if you're attracted to somebody, you're attracted to them. If you're not, you're not, let's go on about our business. So I'm going to have Andrew close your eyes, put your head down and step forward. If you think Andrew, Joe, Oscar, nose black men in three, two, now we're going to give you guys your scores. Let's start. Wow. Whether you know black men, what does that even mean? What does it mean to know black men? That's so fascinating to have them answer this question is to say that sort of black people exist within some sort of monolith that is to be understood, which is not true. There's no possibility of you fully understanding black men, black women, black anything, because black people exist in millions of different variations. So there's no understanding of blackness. So I couldn't walk forward for this question, or I guess I would, and in defiance of the question itself, I would say, yeah, if you know a black person, then you, and you know a black man, then you know black men. I don't know what else to tell you. There's no understanding of black men as a whole that you can have as a white person. What a strange question. Four out of ten. It makes sense because like I said, I don't even know men in general. So this was like just a new experience for me to even understand men and black men specifically. So I think that's a fair ranking. It's better than zero. Joe, after you're ranking, we had seven people step forward. Whoa. Good job. Yeah. That's, that's pretty validating. I appreciate that. I don't know if I earn that necessarily, but yeah, I appreciate it. For Joe specifically? He's invited to the cookout. He's invited to the cookout. Yeah, that is the metric. When white people get invited to the cookout, that's like, you know, you're in with black people. Now, I don't know how they're coming to these determinations, but clearly they felt more comfortable with him and his energy. And that makes sense. He was like a very masculine presence. He was very straightforward about where he stood on things, how he was determined. And his judgments, he was very humble in, in the judgments that he was making. And maybe that comes off as understanding black people more. I think he was just a more confident figure than maybe the, the other two where I'll be curious to see if Andrew gets a similar score or a, you know, or a higher score for Andrew. You had. Zero. Zero. Zero. That makes sense. What do you think that is? I think it's because I didn't know a certain hairstyle, I think that really got me. I think I said some stuff that revealed that a certain lack of knowledge on a lot of these topics. Yeah. I just feel like it's, it's hard to look at a statistic and attribute that to like a whole group of people and a black experience in general. Like I never pretend to say like, yeah, I know everything about the white experience based off of statistic because I've never woken up as a white man in my life the same way they've never woken up in my shoes. Like we're all different. Even though we're all black men here, we all have different experiences. So that's kind of one of the reasons why I'm going to reveal to myself like I didn't step forward for any of the three guys. I feel like it's just, you're never going to know. That's like what it's like to be actually be a black man. It seems like he's a good idea. That would be the case for anyone, be the case for anything at all time. You can never truly know somebody you'll never truly walk in the shoes of another person. So as long as we are even handedly doling out that sort of idea, then I'm okay with that. Yeah. Or like some kind of idea of like surface level issues that we face, right? But like the why behind it? Like why do we have some relationship to the police and like like certain racial dynamics that either lean in or out of interracial relationships, right? And that like why is crucial to understanding like black psychology and like the reasoning behind like the way our culture is and things like that. And so like that deeper why which we've like grown up understanding, passed in from our parents and our peers, right? That is something that is just, I think is so unique to the black experience that you may never really understand, you know, but like you can look at the big picture and be like, okay, if I don't know why though, at least I know like what the outcomes are, right? They should. I sit on the fence on this a little bit because I understand that cultures have different experiences and we can create stereotypes and assumptions about cultures because there is something to be understood about each individual culture, about each individual race. And some of those things are unique to that race. So I don't want to say there isn't a uniqueness to sort of black culture and the black experience. But this idea that we're talking about things like black psychology, as if there's like a different psychological set of metrics or black people than there are for other people, to me, does not make a lot of sense. And I think we're going too far into the separation of races and cultures when in reality, we stand on the same ground most of us. It doesn't even matter what your race is. And there's just a few little, you know, intricate complex parts of each race that maybe unique to that race. And instead we sort of lop it off at the head and say, well, white people are over here and black people are over here. And really, it's we're all standing in the same area with a few little differences that we should be able to talk about and discuss. And that's where we'll find the common ground. So interesting. We'll close out the video, though. Who themselves are more spaces with people that look like us, right? Like they did well today, just more of that, right? Like in front of the camera and behind the camera and like no camera, whatever, just more of like interracial relationships. Not like that, but you know what I mean. Yeah. Who voted for them but didn't vote for me? That's why you know. I don't want technically all of us. I would have voted for you. Now I'm looking back like you deserved at least one. Oh, you can get one. I was like, I don't hear anything. You know what? I'm glad it's all love at the end. It was fun. It was interesting. Everything was civil and great. And you know, there was a few little missteps here and there or maybe things that I disagreed with. But overall, I had a really good time and I think it's important to have these discussions because these are the discussions that our culture is having and we're making really pivotal, you know, choices on a daily basis when we're talking about race. So it's good to get people in one room to really share at least their personal experiences and their personal views on the issue. I'm curious to see how you guys take to this video. Drop your thoughts in the comments down below on all the different things that we discussed today. If you disagree with anything I said in this video, do get out but do so respectfully. And if you liked this video, like, subscribe, click the notification it'll be notified every single time I post a video for you guys, which is every day. And I will see you next time. I'm so curious to hear what you guys have to say on this one. So see you. I'll be in the comments. Bye guys. [Music]