New eps of Cookies Hoops drop first on Patreon! Brat summer is dead, long live brat summer (1:02), bear market, non-RFK Jr version (7:23), Democratic party veep hunt (16:42), bear market, RFK Jr version (38:32), Astor Place Starbucks, Bowery Bar, and vanishing totems of the Real New York (45:21), sexy drill (1:05:21), Katy Perry and futile transformation (1:15:21), USA men's basketball and Joel Embiid (1:23:17), 3x3 hoops, evolved (1:28:02), Imane Khelif (1:32:02), predators get the joy buzzer (1:42:21), legacy of "Inside the NBA" (1:51:32).
Cookies: A Basketball Podcast
Slizzy Flow: Cookies 467
(upbeat music) ♪ I love cookies ♪ ♪ I love cookies ♪ ♪ I love cookies ♪ ♪ I love cookies ♪ - Welcome to Cookies, the world's most influential basketball podcast, lovely day here in New York City. Not to be confused with the lightful restaurant lovely day here in New York City. Andrew Kuo, it's Monday. How's your weekend? What's going on? - It was incredible, man. I got so many stone fruits. It's crazy. And I have a whole strategy and I've perfected it. I bring a sweatshirt to the market and I kind of fold the extra, extra large cookies, hoops, basketball sweatshirt around each kind of individual peach to save them from bruising the long journey home. - It's this incredible technology. It's called peach technology. - Yeah, I think you've described crashing out in stone fruit season at the farmer's market before. And you've gotten into your elaborate, broke system, which evolves. - Yeah, I've done it. - Peaches like three days apart, ripening at various stages of development. And yeah, yeah, I think we know about that. - Yeah, that's nothing new, but this is a new development. It's almost over, man. You sent me, as I was at the market, purchasing these $3.75 a pound per pound peaches, which is not bad. You sent me the ultimate fuck you text. - I did, I did it. Said fuck you in huge letters. It was a basket of peaches. Incredible, beautifully ripe peaches. But not just like a pound. You know, I wouldn't be a bushel. One of those very rustic containers. - Yeah, they're green paper containers. - And there were, oh, let's say maybe 10 peaches in it. Eight peaches? - That's kind of a-- - For atrial. Maybe it's a bushel. I don't know the metric system, all right? I don't know, barometric pressure. I don't understand bushels. You know, like I'm a modern man. I use pounds, stone. 64 pounds. - But it was a dollar. - Yeah, one bucks. - It's a dollar, one dollar. Now in fairness, it was a huge fuck you to you. Those were the ones that were slightly irregular. But those same containers were only $4. And those were for the ones that were pristine. - For upstate, that's fine. Because if you're just walking down the street in New York City, you're not gonna get upstate prices, man. Because you got a factor in gas. You got a factor in that there's no health square number eight upstate. You pay for the context. - Well, I would say that the Rochester public market, great place if you're ever visiting. Wonderful experience. It was teeming, the citizens of God's country were milling around, buying their peaches. Yeah, definitely half price compared to the New York City markets in terms of stone fruit. - Right, like extremely cheap. But that's abnormally cheap even for up there. - And that's only for a couple of weeks? - That's as good as it gets. - Yeah, for these couple of weeks in August, I think they kind of start turning in late August. But that's where they're kind of grown. So the stuff, the primo shit I'm buying down here is coming from where you were at. - Yeah, without getting too boring on this subject, I would say, going that far upstate, that far north, that far west, it's probably a few weeks later in the growing season. So you may have to travel up there in order to squeeze the last drops from stone fruit season. - I used to think about that with traveling for, well, this is even better articulation than this. We have a mutual buddy who sells vintage t-shirts, like incredible pieces to Rihanna, to Jay-Z, to everybody, hundreds of dollars, thousands of dollars sometimes. And he says, a lot of people come to a shop and was just like, come on, I used to have this as a kid. You want 300 bucks for it? And he's like, I drove down to South Carolina to go through someone's garbage, to pick this one piece out, to wash it three times and to put it in my shop. I want 300 dollars for it. And I'm like, totally reasonable. And you'll explain it that way. It's just like, right, if you were in South Carolina and you just found this shirt, it's not 300 dollars. I mean, this is a simple economic thing, but I never think about it when it comes to delicious fruits. - I remember a decade ago, when I was still buying some wrapped teas on eBay every now and then, there was a junior mafia shirt. And it was being bit upon. I remember watching it and it was too rich for my blood. It went for a couple hundred bucks. I wasn't looking to pay more than like $75 tops for a tee. Now, those prices would be extremely modest. They're worth far more now, but because they became trendier. I don't think this might have even been longer ago than that. - But the market fell, right? Like, was there a correction on that market? - I think it did. - Yeah. - Honestly, I think it did because I ran into our friend and a couple other people who were in the vintage game and they were saying exactly that about wrapped teas that like maybe three or four years ago, five years ago, it peaked. But I was going after this junior mafia shirt and then I ran into our buddy and it turned out that he had also been like bidding on it and looking at the exact same shirt. I don't know who ended up getting it. I'm sure he has one because his collection is outrageous and his own archive plus the ones he sells. But it was funny. He's like, oh yeah, I think that ended up going for 350. I was like, oh, so you were watching the same junior mafia, players and anthem t-shirt on eBay, huh? - These are fungible things, right? Like, there's one of one. I'm sure if you went out and saw someone wearing it, you'd be like, is that the one junior mafia tee you got on eBay for 350? No, I missed the one, you know? I mean, I feel like the bottom fell out when people services started offering wrapped teas. So now you have like Kamala Harris wrapped teas and I mean, made popular by our buddy who published a book called wrapped teas. Maybe that was the beginning of the end for shout out to Ross, but like he put a book out that's one of the best like coffee table books I have of his archive of all these teas he's been collecting for decades just to have a bunch of schmucks to a JR Smith golf wrapped teas. - Classic. Yeah, I think, yeah, the wrapped teas stuff is annoying because there's certain ones I have that are really good and then people just knock them off. - Yeah, I know. - Again, as you were saying, this is five years ago, we're in the correction stage, but I'll look at it sometimes like, oh, I wonder what that's worth? And I'm like, wait, they just printed up fake versions of it. It's like a master PT or something. I'm like, oh, I don't even know what mine's worth anymore because they flooded the market with ones that are now 10 years old and look old that are reproductions of it. Yeah, and this is like, this coincides with the indie sleaze, maybe correction of indie sleaze, but that we're seeing with Brat Summer, but my, our buddy name dropping, this is the name dropping pod, I guess, but Mark Hundley makes my favorite shirts and what he does is like, he takes a stencil and he kind of colors in letters on white Haynes t-shirts and he started with Morrissey lyrics, but he's branched off into tons of stuff, little Wayne wore his shirt on his album cover, one of his late ones, and they're great, but they're not hard to get. You can DM him and he'd be like, yeah, I'll just make you that one. Sort of like what I like to do with Shritz, you know? It's like, you want one of those? All right, I'll make 12 more and I'll send one to you or you can buy one. So they're not supposed to be limited, but I've been to sales of his where he's hanging up these crispy white teas that he's handmade and people would be like, well, I want the one you're wearing because it has holes in it and it's yellow and it's stretched out and it looks like it's been through in the entire run of indie sleaze. And he's like, well, this one's mine. You have to wear yours. Like I'll give you $400 for years. And he's just like, just wear it to bed, shower in it, and wear it for a few days in August and it'll achieve that. But if you don't want to do that, like, please deal with me here. - I'm not the peak distress denim trend. I was running for the New York Times and I really wanted to get damsels and distress denim into a nightlife review. I think I did it. - What is damsels in distress? - Women having problems, women in jeopardy. - Yeah, I mean, with denim? - Well, I just wanted to use the dumb joke, distress denim. - Oh, okay. I thought it was like, is this the name of their company and how to make it in their mouth? - Oh, no, no. It was just a really dumb plan or is. But it torched me, Andrew. I really wanted to get it in there. Maybe I did. I think I finally shoehorned it into a nightlife review at some point, but it was a real point of pride for me. - The 90s were all about that. It was finding a pun and then building a company or idea or article around it, it's like GovWorks. We're not into the intricacies of politics and the way our government works, but we bought the rights to the URL GovWorks, Gov.Work. So we should maybe raise a few million dollars and see if the president wants to buy it. - Wow, that's like that store in Greenpoint called Maison Jar. Clearly someone thought that was funny and then were obligated by the forces of the universe into like creating a brick and mortar store that's based on jars. Like, oh, it's just such a good name. We have to do it. We have to make Maison Jar an existence that sign needs to have people look at it and kind of win for decades on end. Maison Jar, okay, I get it. - What about the bedding store that also serves Pad Thai in Bed-Stai? Called Bed-Stai. - I mean, look, sometimes it can work. There is no way that someone was thinking about creating a company that would sell sheets and then came up with Brooklinen. You know Brooklinenen came first. - Right, right. It's like we should be-- - All right, all right. - What about Brooklinen? Okay, fuck it. Start a sheet company that'll be very successful, actually. And change our lives based on the name Brooklinen. - Who are responsible for that really ubiquitous tote bag that has Brooklinen written in all of the classic New York media typefaces? That is almost as ubiquitous as the New Yorker bag and the cookie soups bag, but yeah. - What's up with your favorite brand, Brooklin Industries? - Oh, the best T-shirt of all time. We've talked about this. Defend Brooklinen is the quintessential shirt. I cannot, okay. There's two shirts that I will go to my grave saying it is they are the most influential. That one, incredible. As soon as it came out, everyone's like, "Oh fuck yeah, this is amazing." And they're knock-offs like Defend Westchester, Defend New Jersey, it was just like with an AK-47, hilarious. And then also-- - It was kind of a military stencil font. - Yeah, yep. Not unlike the Morrissey shirts. And then the other most influential T-shirt was the smooth T-shirt with Rob Thomas and Santana describing-- - We love that one, yeah. - Gave way to an entire way of making shirts and maybe online ceramics, that kind of aesthetic of like inundation or the acceptance of a ton of information on the T. Okay, I don't want to beat around the bush. I'm looking at you wearing this Harris Waltz real tree hat. I have to ask you about it, man. - Hold on, I want to talk about that. (laughing) - You're moving a little too fast. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. What about the other T, the one with the name and name and name and in the vertical column? - That's done by a company called Experimental Jet Set. And that was also one of the classic T's, right? 'Cause you can adapt it to anything like Starks and Oak and Ewing and, you know, whatever. - I had one when it first came out and I had no idea what it was because it got changed and adulterated so many times I couldn't even tell you what was listed on that shirt. - Yeah, it kind of caught fire because you could adapt it to anything. I want to say without Googling it, the original was the Beatles. I believe Experimental Jet Set made that a Beatles shirt. I don't love it, it's fine. I like, there's no funny adaptation of that. Like every version of anti-social-social club is kind of funny a little because the original is so specific. But I feel like the Experimental Jet Set and Anne's shirt was a little too general. - Well, it started out kind of as you said, it was like street wear. And then within a few years, it was ubiquitous and it became one of the dorkiest shirts ever. - It is incredible how, like what's dorkier, a throwback Frasier or one of those Andy and Ian shirts. - And I say that because Rihanna was just shot on vacation wearing a throwback Ewing and I was like, "Ooh, her stylist has to step in a little bit." - Your Hawk End to an spit and on that ad thing shirt? - Yeah, I mean, someone's got to make a ray gun shirt for me. - Okay, wait, you were just confronting me about something, what was it again? - Your hat that I'm looking at right now, there's a military gem. - Yeah, I've got the full Realtree Harris Walls catalog. It's stealing Redneck Valor, so to speak, but that's been going on for years. And as soon as the campaign dropped the Photoshop of the Realtree hat with Walls Harris, everyone was immediately saying, "Oh, this is the Bushwick. This is the Salem hat of political campaigns." But it is kind of interesting because the Democratic Party, maybe it's because of your boy J.D. Vance being such a overt dork, but the Democratic Party thinks they're cool right now. - No politician is ever cool, like no breakdancers ever cool. But like, that wants us like, this is so uncool. I'm like, wait, are you talking about breakdancing or this person? We'll get to that later. But like, the Democratic, a White House ticket has to straddle the line. I'm an apologist because they just have to capture people who are undecided. And they have to go to lengths that are extremely cringe. But this is just politics, right? Isn't this the equivalent of kissing Redneck babies? Like no one wants to kiss a baby, fuck babies, you know? Like, I'm kind of with- - Shakin' babies, kissing cats? - I don't care about babies. It's like baby, dead culture, whatever. It's like, stop with all that. But like, you know, people eating local foods in various stops on the campaign. I'm like, you don't gotta do that either. - Well, the Harris Wall's hat is interesting because what I was saying before is that the Democratic Party is usually the one that's nebish, that's the egghead party. Oh, you know, we've got Buttigieg, you know, like, oh man, this fuckin' dork. And then the Republicans come out. - What about Obama and the obey stuff though? - Oh, Obama was, and Clinton are the exceptions to this rule, right? - Mm. - And they're the ones who were prized by the Democratic Party because they had like the big swinging dick. And they're like, ah, we got Obama. - Dick Cheney? - The big swinging dick Cheney. Don't golf for that man. And I was shooting, shooting, shooting. Or don't golf for them either, I guess, but. Or ski shooting. But yeah, the Democratic Party with walls are like, hey, look, we got a football coach. We got a real tree hat. We're real America. And like, JD Vance kind of set them up for this alley-oop because he is like a tech-funded writer. Like, who writes books? - I know, I know. He had the liberal elites adapt his book to Netflix. And, you know. - With Meryl Streep playing your mom? - Or not Meryl Streep, someone else, I believe. - Glenn Close. - Glenn Close, yes. - Playing Mima? - And, you know, the cookie soups' interns have made a tongue-in-cheek real tree hat with orange lettering 'cause it is ubiquitous, right? It is the adaptation of the and-and-and hat or the smooth t-shirt. - Great hats available on the site right now. - That's right. And, you know, like, I love real tree. I have, camouflage, I used to be really into camouflage, but after growing up and war stuff, I kind of like shied away from that. I'm kind of still into hunting camo, but like the bright orange because I guess you're can't see orange, so that's the joke. Your favorite artist, Chapel Rohn, was like, "Oh, give me a break, they ripped off my hat." And I was like, that hat has probably origins going back decades, but I don't know. I've not seen one in real life. I don't expect ever to see one in real life, but shout out to MAGA 'cause they made the best merch of all time, right? - Just for the record. I mean, we've been selling real tree hats for many years. We are currently sold out of the orange real tree, but there is the real tree hat with white stitching, reading basketball, if one was so inclined. - But the deer doesn't see it. - Deer is just like, does that say basketball on it? - No, no, no, like a Scooby-Doo deer, right? - But it's not called this. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - I mean-- - I, I, well, I was gonna say, I drove back through, through God's country, yesterday, you know, so about a six-hour drive to make it back down here. And it was a nice day, so, you know, it's not that bad until you get to Jersey and you're just stuck there in traffic. You can see the city. It's real kickin' a teeth while you're waiting for the GW. You can see the skyline of Gotham, but you're still, you know, an hour and a half, two hours away. But driving back, I stopped for a coffee and a place and it was kind of exactly what you described, this sort of democratic party, rural valor stealing. And then a pillow in this coffee shop that said, "Hickster." (laughs) - Oh, I love it. - And I shuddered, Andrew, I shuddered. - I love it. - The fact that it was a pillow was so appropriate. (laughs) - Was it like printed, or was it embroidered, or what-- - Just, can you buy it? - I guess you can buy it, it was just like, a throw pillow that just said, "Hickster" on it. - I mean, should we make cookies, hoops, cowboy boots? - Well, we should, because we can wear them over to the new Honky Tonk Club, that's opening in the former space occupied by Kinfolk over there in North Brooklyn. - Shadow of Kinfolk? - A lot of friends work there. A lot of former cookies guests, actually. Three cookies guests worked at Kinfolk. - That very intense. - Spot for a second, and this is also coming off of this small Gothamist article, being like, the cowboy boots are big this summer. And I was like, "God damn, did boot cut jeans ever hit?" Yes and no, right? Like, did you ever see them actually popularize or just worn by a few heads? - Well, it's funny because boot cut jeans, I used to use it as a punchline a lot, but now you see them and they're kind of cool. - Are they cool? - Like the boot cut jeans. As far as jeans go, they're all right. Like, no problem with 2024, boot cuts, okay? - I'm booted, judge. All right, complete the fit. You got your cookie soups, cowboy boots, their cookie soups, boot cut jeans, their cookie soups tee, and their cookie soups rotary and orange letter. - That's completed. Coated. (laughs) - Wow, that's high-key coated for you to subscribe. - In New Jersey, just a sip and coffee. - So yeah, if you go to the site, you can find those cookie soups, cowboy boots. You can wear them to play ball, you can wear them with a honky tonk bar, plenty of uses, yeah. - I mean, cowboy boots, I can't wear them 'cause I'm not tall enough. But, are they comfortable? Have you ever worn cowboy boots? - I don't think I've worn them since I was a child. - Oh my God. - You know, a little kid. Like, oh, put on your cowboy outfit or something. - Man, my friend used to be addicted to substances. And late at night, I think he went to a drug dealer's house and came back with cowboy boots on. And we were like, "Bro, where did you get those cowboy boots?" And he was just like, "It was a transaction. "Somehow, I have these cowboy boots on, "but they're too big for me." So it kind of looked ridiculous. And they were like noticeably too large for him. And he was a normal-sized dude. And later on in the night, I think we were coming back from a rap show or something, he decides to try to do the kid-and-play, which he kind of does. And he's holding a 40-ounce beer. So he does, attempts his kid-and-play. And as you know, it's bringing one leg through a loop of the other leg. But his cowboy boots are too big. So he usually can do it, but he gets caught in the cowboy boot, falls, slams the 40. It shatters and cuts his wrist wide open. It was the most insane scene I've ever seen. We're just like, "Oh, he's doing the kid-and-play." Oh shit, he's gonna die. I had to rush him to the hospital as he was like gushing blood. He was like, "He's a pretty tough guy." And he was turning white. And he was like, "Hold my hand, I think I'm gonna die." And I'm like, "I don't doubt this feeling 'cause there's a ton of blood in this car." - Because you're bleeding out. - Yeah, it was so intense. And the doctors saw him and they're like, "Oh shit, he goes right in. Sorry guys, we gotta do triage here. This guy goes right in. He gets fixed up, he lives." And they're like, "What happened?" He's like, "The cowboy boot was too big." - Too big for what? Well, he didn't do the kid-and-play dance. Okay, I still don't understand how you got hurt. Well, I was holding a 40. - Yeah, I mean, he was still high in drunk. And finally, the doctor was like, "So tell me the story, what happened?" And he was like, "The boots were too big." At this point, he was barefoot. He had chucked the boots. It was insane, man. This was like, before Amy sleaze a little bit. This might've been the year 2001. - I still don't understand how he ended up with the cowboy boots, because wasn't he going to buy drugs? - Yeah, and I think he was friendly with the drug dealer. I think he, apparently he saw them and was like, "I love those boots." And he's like, "Just take them." It's like, someone left them here. I don't want them, you know? - Oh, I see. I was like, "What's the transaction where you go to buy drugs and you come back with boots?" - Right, he didn't quite know either. He's like, "Why am I wearing these boots?" And we're like, "Why are you wearing those boots?" He's like, "Right, why am I wearing these boots?" - Okay, that's an eight ball and a pair of cowboy boots, done. - I mean, I can laugh about it, but at the time we were still laughing about it. So I don't know. Leading out, we were like, "This is extremely funny." (laughing) - He should go over to Kinfolk. I heard they've got a honky tonk bar with a mechanical bowl. - What does Western theme stuff enhance drinking? It does, right? Like wearing boots, wearing Kamala Harris hats and riding mechanical bowls. That helps everyone get their high on, right? - I've never really bought into the country, Western honky tonk, nightlife culture, but it also seems cyclical where you had line dancing back in the day. Like, "Oh, cities everywhere are embracing this trend, line dancing." And every now and then, people get into country music. And this seems to be part of that. - Country music is amazing, but like, I don't know. I don't really listen to it enough. I have no issue with it, I'm not. - It's similar to indie rock, to be honest. There's sad stories about drinking. - Yeah, it seems to be mostly involving wives and alcohol. - Yeah, I mean, did you catch this thing on Reddit? Sorry, I'm moving at a breakneck pace. Team USA over here, this episode. Do you see this Reddit thing about this? It went viral this weekend about a woman who was like, let me read verbatim. My boyfriend and I are 28 years old and together for two and a half years. Yesterday night, we were drinking. And one thing led to another, and I tried to compliment him by saying he is not someone who I'd hook up with, but marry. I thought everything was fine, but he seemed extremely distraught after that. I realized how he understood it and tried to clarify, but it was the same, but he was still the same this morning. He told me he needs space to think for a while and left the house. All my friends tell me I messed it up. And guys tell me it's not a compliment and most men will understand it differently. I think I destroyed our relationship and I am panicking right now. - What's your take on that? 'Cause my take is I get it. I get why he'd be offended. I don't know that it would ruin a relationship, but I understand why he would object to that. - This is really interesting. 'Cause I'm not trying to do a bit here, but I'm not like a handsome man. You know, I am not some of them. - Oh, here's here we go. - No, no, but-- - The 6'6" cock diesel Andrew Quo now playing down his-- - Well, context is important here because the first thing people do when they read this is look for how the people look, right? So I'm just like trying to paint a picture here. I'm fine, whatever. I'm a happy married person with a family, but if someone told me that, I would laugh and be like, "Yeah, no shit." (laughs) You know, it would just be automatic. It was like, "That's pretty funny. "Are we gonna get married or not?" You know, like, that to me was, people got really mad at this online and I was like, "You guys think you're really good-looking, "or don't you?" - Well, I interpret it more as basically saying you're a square. Like, then I'm not really attracted to you and I don't think you're like, cool or sexy. And I know what you mean, like, people may have a inflated sense of their own attractiveness and their own sexiness and appeal, but I think if it's your partner saying to you, like, I get how the woman would think, well, no, I was mostly saying that, you know, once I got to know you and you're more valuable than just a one-night stand and it's your personality and the way that you make me feel as a partner, et cetera, but it still can be interpreted as being like, "Yeah, when I first see you, I'm not that into you. "Like, I don't think you're that hot. "I could see that being an interpretation." That's what I'm saying. - For sure, that's how people read it. That's just like, you're not who I want, you're who I want supporting me. - You're who I ended up with. - Right, and dudes got mad and I'm like, "Eh, that's fine." You know, I'm like, "No shit." But also, I can understand someone who maybe has lived some of their life being chose, that that would be offensive. - I also think, if you're speaking from the man's perspective in this conversation, it's like, it may cause lack of confidence in thinking, "Well, yeah, "she cares about me, but I'm like not her type. "I'm not the guy who sparks her attraction, "and if she's out somewhere or meets someone else "who does do that, I can't compete with that. "I can't, she cares about me, but that animal instinct "that she sees, whoa, walk in, "and she sees the next shorts. "She sees the cookies, who's cowboy boots, and it's over. "It's a wrap. "Kiss your lady goodbye." - That's that real entry. - With letters, I can't really make out because they're orange. Yeah, I mean-- - And she's gonna be riding that mechanical ball all night long. - I kind of read this as like, if this guy is distraught, quote unquote, over this, and is still thinking about it, I'm like, "Oh, he's looking to get out of this relationship, "and you just gave him the perfect layout. "You ooped it, you know? "You allied it to his oop." He's like, "Well, you said that." I'm like, "No dude who, or no partner who likes you "would ever take offense to this, I think." - Well, that's kind of where I'm at, is that his response is, although as I said, understandable, the fact that he's like, "No, I'll end this relationship "over that." It does seem to be, you know, an escape hatch. - And we get-- - Because you might be annoyed, you might be like, "What? Oh, fuck off." But it wouldn't send you down this spiral of saying, "Should I really be with this person?" This is him seizing the brass ring. - That's right, it's him shooting over Wendy. And you know, it says, "Yesterday night we were drinking." And I'm like, "Oh, dating while drunk is really difficult." When people go out drinking, it's like, it kind of changes the whole paradigm of like, "Well, what did you mean?" It's just like, "Oh, you guys really have to be "on the same page because shit gets really abstract." - So on this topic, I had a drink with my friend yesterday and she was waiting to go on a date. And I was just catching up. She's like, "I'm going out with a guy who is a Navy Seal." And she's Canadian. So she didn't really know what a Navy Seal was. Don't ask me what Canadians have. The royal mouthpiece, I don't know. - Animal attraction. She was like, "A Seal?" - I don't know. She's like, "What's a Navy Seal?" I'm like, "Oh, they're like an elite group. "They're killers." - They're dark blue. - They're sea lions. But she didn't know, so I explained. These are badasses. I'm sure the guy's in great shape. I'm sure he could snipe you from 400 meters. And she's like, "Oh, cool." She's like, "Wait, this might get my ex "really extremely jealous." So she's like, "What would be a really intimidating job "for the person that your ex is dating to have?" And I was trying to think what that would be. I was like, "Navy Seal's good "if we're gonna talk about that." Like, "Hey, it looks like my ex-girlfriend's dating "a Navy Seal." 'Cause you know, that's an ass kicker. That's a pretty good one. - If I had a sister and she was like, "I'm going on a date with a Navy Seal." I'm like, "No, you're not." Now, over my dead brother body. - Well, she-- - A military dude? Get out of here. You don't want a military dude around? - Yeah, she texted me today and said, "That's a scary person and Hitler would've loved him." Swims at night for hours with sharks. It's too much, I cannot take it seriously. So that's the latest update on the Navy Seal date. - I mean, this is so complicated, right? 'Cause there's so many different permutations of this. One of my friends has been dating, like, in these leads, artists off and on for a while. And finally, she's like, "Oh, moving in with my current boyfriend." And we really hit it off. I'm like, "What do they like?" And she's like, "He's an astrophysicist "who works for NASA." And I'm like, "Ah, this is so complicated. "That's awesome. "Is that awesome?" He's really serious and he's probably autistic, but I'm happy for you, you know? I just-- - Does he need space? (laughing) - No. - Yeah. He's, is he faking Moon's land? I don't know. I got no gags, but, like, what would be, oh, this is a great one. My friend who started years ago was like, some guys hitting me up on DM. I kind of like him. There's one problem. He's hyphy. And I'm like, "What does that mean, hyphy?" He's like, "Well, he wears, like, loud clothes, "snapbacks, really into rap music, "really into sneakers, but he's like a great guy." And I think they are about to get married years later now, too. Complicated, right? What would be ideal? 'Cause everything is a red flag. - Mm, what's the correction, the astrophysicist or the hyphy? - Oh, it depends on where you're coming from. Both are that shit crazy. Both are JD Vance levels crazy. - But what would be intimidating to you if your ex-girlfriend's like, "Yeah, "I'm dating a hyphy guy. "I'm dating an astrophysicist. "I'm dating a Navy SEAL. "I was trying to think what would be, "well, I can figure out what would be annoying." He was like, "Yeah, I'm dating this incredibly rich guy." You're like, "Oh, yeah, how'd he get rich?" Oh, he invented the blanket. He got really rich off a super dumb idea and he just kind of chills. He doesn't do anything. He's just richer than crecious off of a really dumb idea. I'm like, "Ooh, that would grind my gears." - Right. I mean, I did have an ex-girlfriend when I was really young who started dating a dude who made zines, loved indie rock and painting, but was, and it was Chinese, but was taller and more handsome than me. I was sad. I was like, "Ooh, that makes me feel really small." But congratulations to her. She leveled up a little bit, but she leveled up. - You get that quote upgrade. - That to me was the worst I've ever felt. 'Cause, you know, I've had ex-girlfriends being like, "Oh, I married somebody who wakes up early "and has a 200K a year job." I'm like, "Well, that's not my world, so Godspeed." But if someone was like, "I'm marrying a podcaster who's taller and more handsome "than you," I'd be like, "That hurts a little bit." - Well, he's a podcaster and he's also an artist. He's a painter, but he had lengthening surgery. - Right. - He's not obsessed with stone fruit. He doesn't have glasses and he has a real haircut. - He eats stone fruit, but not over the sink. - He's not considering collecting trading cards. Oh, God, I can't compete. I just can't compete. - He's too good. - I mean, intimidating, like money doesn't factor into it, but like sensibility does. If, like, if they were into the same things, oof. 'Cause everyone wants money and like sometimes having less money is more commendable. I don't know what scene you identify with, but, like, sometimes it's being like, "Oh, I'm dating someone who's not as obsessed with money. "They don't care about courtside tickets at Barclays. "They just like do their poetry and chill." I'm like, "Well, that also makes me feel very small, "so whatever." - There've been times when, like, ex-girls and not even necessarily ones that you've been in, like, a long-term relationship with, but just people you dated and you're like, "Oh, you're dating like a huge herb." Like, "Uh-oh, what does that mean about me?" Like, we hung out and now you're dating that guy? Fuck. So you have a type? Am I part of this? - Oh, okay. Yeah, that's a whole different thing. Like, if you fall in line, like my friend was like a big, brawny guy and he came from middle America, handsome, like, six, five beard, you know him, and was just like, "Yo, I not only do really well "in New York on the dating scene, "like, people stop me and ask me if I'm an actor "or in movies, so I'm gonna go to this casting "because I might have a little swagger here." And he went to the casting and there were like 25 exact replicas of him and he was like, "Oh, damn." Okay, so I'm just like a thing. It's like, "Yeah, yeah, no, you're not a lead. "You're just like some guy in the background "or like, you get beat up at the hunky-dunk bar." - Yeah, I don't hear you talking about him. He definitely does. - Yeah, yeah. - But he might do the beating. He might do the beating as well. - Yeah, he's a large man. He's a handsome dude, but he tells his story with like, honest humility, just being like, "There's many people like me "and some of them are definitely more handsome than me." - So I played a little ball. Ball was upstate and kind of did this exact idea. All these guys who are, you know, they're probably high school colleges. A lot of the guys were really young, where I was playing with. And they're from like, some of them are from like a suburban area and they all had the exact same body type. They all just lift and they're all built like football players, which is very different from like the New York City body type, especially if you're playing ball. There's very few of those guys. Up there, all of them. And granted, they're like, as I said, teenagers, early 20s, young, but all the white dudes were just built like tanks. Whether they were super ripped or just wide, every single one of them had the same exact body type. I'm like, "Oh, that's different." Because when we were growing up, weightlifting was just not as prominent. Maybe football players did it. I mean, people lifted weights when they became adults, but in high school, that was for football players. - Really, like, new, and white. - At least, at least, at least where I was. - Okay, yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, it was only like really, really jock, jock, jocks. Like wrestlers, football players. Basketball players didn't lift weights ever. Remember, this is like, I mean, even in that era in the NBA, I don't think people lifted weights. There was this perception that it would make you un-agile. - Well, yeah, Charles Oakley would walk on the court as a ball and everyone's like, "Damn, the dude is ripped. Don't fuck with him." It's like, he just looks like the sixth man on the Knicks. - Last guy on the bench on the thunder. - No, it was a real perception. Weightlifting would mess up your basketball muscles. I mean, remember in the last dance, MJ being like, "Yeah, well, you know, I was trying to play ball, but I had my baseball muscles." - Yeah, I don't doubt that. I mean, you know, my running theory is Mitchell Robinson is a less interesting player 'cause he like, hulked out. As a wet noodle, he was kind of like more dynamic as like a recovery defender, a shot blocker. He's just quicker. Now he's, I mean, he's probably better now because he can, you know, stand up next to the big boys like Zach Edie, but I don't know, it takes something away. Like, yeah, in New York City, you have a lot of wet noodles on the courts in the playgrounds, but there's Nico who's kind of yoked out and the dude, how many points did he score in the last cookies tournament? 60, something. Over at the Cherry Clinton court thing, worked with the project backboard on. Yeah, I think he had 45. - It's insane and he's yoked. He looks like he could handle himself in a hunky talk bar. - Yeah, he could wear the cowboy boots, the cookie soups, boots. - Yeah, he dominated, so maybe, you know, maybe people should get more jacked on the cookies team. Talking to you, Bruno. - Get out there and lift. - Yeah. - So you would not be intimidated by your exes dating the members of the cookies, hoops basketball community. - It's so funny 'cause many people intimidate me, but that wording of that person would not intimidate me. I just feel like, ah, that's funny. Yeah, no shit, 'cause everybody's kind of scary to me. So you're just pointing out the obvious. - So I had a thought the other day. Which bodes well for our podcast. What's up with the current state of private detectives? You know, I was watching-- - Private Dix? - Private Dix. You know, I was watching some Noire recently. And, you know, the private dick. That's a big part of the Noire genre. Chinatown, et cetera. I think I just watched LA Confidential for the first time in a long time. - That's a Dix movie. Yeah, I really enjoy that movie. - Russell Crowe, prime Russell Crowe. It's a physically a menace in that movie. He's great. But I was thinking about that, the private dick. Does that still exist? And I went online and I looked around. You can find private investigators out here in Williamsburg that got their little reviews. Like, oh, Lizzie did a fantastic job. - Yeah, they are still, I mean, I think I told this story before, but my friend's stepmother, who used to be a famous actor, had turned to private dickism. And now you can hire her to find stuff out about your partner, your ops, whatever. She sits in an office and she has resources and she's good at sort of like a contractor. Like, of course, you can go online and crowdsource like Twitter, do your thing, that kind of thing. Everyone could put up sheet rock, basic sheet rock. But if you want like a contractor to like remodel your kitchen, you gotta hire a private dick, don't you? - I just wanna know if there's still functioning alcoholics who chomp on cigars and then a dame comes into the office. - Eating apple pie and a cup of coffee, sitting on a pillow that says-- - Hixter. - Hixter. - Right, it's like, is the death of the diner kind of the same correction as the death of the private dick? 'Cause you know, the internet is essentially a search engine for the information someone might just want, sort of like-- - That's what I mean, are they just figuring out your phone location? Like, I want a private dick who's staked out in like a beat up Buick. - With I can't remember the rappers. - Yeah, chain smoking, throwing egg and cheese wrappers on the floor of the car. Seeing the op come out of the apartment, halfway through a burger, throwing it out the window and like peeling out. - Yeah, like, I want them like occasionally being made. Like, we've made-- - Slumping down in their chair with sunglasses. It's like, I mean, we got got, yeah. - We've been made again. - The private dick has a private dick. - Yeah, that's who I wanna hire for all of my private dick needs. - Rest in peace to Paul Oster, his most famous book, right? A private dick sees his op, but sees someone exactly like him and has to choose which person to follow. - And he can only at that point follow his riz. - Which one has the risiest aura? - Who's mogging? - Yeah, and who is dreadfully reverse mogging? Yeah, I mean, what made you think of dicks? - Oh, I mean, dicks are always on my mind Andrew. Well, the private ones, yeah. - Yeah, is it just movies or is it like-- - Well, it was watching LA Confidential and I was like, wait, how was that happening in 2024? Is it just a 21 year old who's fast on social media? Like, all right, I'm on TikTok. Looks like you, I was having an affair. - I mean, if you have these-- - He's with the Navy Seal right now. - He's with someone exactly like you, but slightly taller and no glasses. - I think that's me. No, no, no, this guy's not wearing glasses. - I mean, is the private detective a job that the internet also destroyed? Like you have retail buckling. There's all corrections happening, right? Like, first there was a wave of the threat and then it was fine and then COVID kind of messed everything up. And then you see certain things suffering like Starbucks or ideas like, you know, the stock market crashed quote unquote the other day and everyone's like, oh, this is the end. This is what the Biden Harris ticket gives you. But it was just a correction 'cause it was riding so high in July and August. Like I've been thinking about this. This is the summer of the correction, right? The stock market, MAGA kind of like came back to earth and one's like, they're kind of stupid people. I'm like, no shit. Indy slee is kind of like had a correction through brat summer being like, oh, we're just doing the same thing again. We thought Indy slee's was like exciting, but it is just the same thing again. Jason Tatum doesn't play in Team USA. The art market kind of like no one's buying shit 'cause it was riding so high. The bear season three and one's like, this show sucks. Seamless, right? No one's doing seamless because the experience is was worth it when it was cheap. And as soon as seamless is like, we need to start making a profit. So we need to start raising our prices. Everyone's like, well, we hate this. And that's another form of a correction. - No, Jonathan Franzen. Different types of corrections. - Have you read that book? - I have read that book. - It's good, right? - Yeah, I like the scene with the salmon that the guy is shoplifting. That's a very excellent scene. Good book though. I mean, he's a good writer for all of his curmudgeonly ways and bird watching. And this is assuming that I would read, which I don't. - Yeah, exactly. Yeah, his books, if I read them, have like a really huge arc to them. He's good at writing. I get that he is a annoying character. - Yes. - Especially when it comes to Twitter and social media that has kind of defined him in a way that his writing did not. But yeah, the guy can write. So he didn't do anything that got canceled. Like how I really fumbled the bag with the Alice Monroe phrase last month. - It got worse since we last discussed it. - I know, I did a little research. You were your own private dick. (laughing) Yo, like not only did she like protect her husband who is allegedly an abuser, but maybe also a murderer? - Oh, I didn't even get that far, fuck. I gotta get me back under the hood. - I believe she suspected him of committing a murder that had been unsolved. - Ooh. - Yeah, it's crazy. Someone's gotta do that. Who would you cast in the Alice Monroe movie? - Mm, well, I'm trying to decide if that's a points against her for her. - Mm, okay. - The abuse, obviously anti. Not snitching on a murderer? (laughing) It could go both ways. - Free young thug, depending on what he did. - I mean, if he's innocent and didn't do anything too bad, I guess. - Yeah, exactly. I mean, I'm looking at Alice Monroe. I've never, I don't really know what she looks like but prior to this, but she looks exactly what I thought. Like the late era, Alice Monroe would be Olympia Dukakis, right? I don't know if she's dead or not, but she was in Mystic Pizza that was a long time ago, I think. - There's no way she's alive. - Hey, I'm not in the business of killing people before they're dead, so. - You are in the business of that, that's all. - They're killing together a lot. - That is literally the only business you're in. - Nope, nope, a lot. - So, all right. Tell me who my wife is hanging out with. Short Asian guy, who's in the business of killing of people who are alive, but he doesn't wear glasses. That's not Andrew. (laughing) - It's like, oh God damn, I can't compete with that. (laughing) But like, how, you can't make this Alice Monroe movie 'cause the ending is Dower, right? This is a 90s ass movie where the ending is like, it was a dream and I'm actually in the electric chair. - Oh, that's good, that has to be Judith Light. Is she alive? - I don't know who that is. - She was, I can't remember, she was on growing pains or she was on some sitcom, but then she became the official like, beleaguered wife in every lifetime oxygen movie. - That's cool, I mean, we never talked about this, but I watch "Presumed Innocent", no spoilers, and. - Here comes a spoiler. - The busy friend is in it. I was like, I started the show, it's like, chopped and screwed, they took a normal ass two hour movie and made it eight hours long. And in the first episode, I was like, ah, whatever, the busy friend did it. And like, later on, I find out the exact actor who is always the busy friend is fucking in this show. No spoilers. - I don't know how connected it is to the original film, which is pretty good. This remake is really good, you should watch it. It chopped and screwed though, so it's a vibe, it's like takes forever. - Just the way that you slowed down your voice indicates that it moves at a molasses pace. - It really does, but you know, I don't know, Jake Gyllenhaal's a good like paranoid dumb man. - It might be good to watch it during my girl rotting era. - This is incredible, man. I don't wanna genderize rotting, but it's called girl rotting. And it went viral this recently in My Feed, 'cause it was a young Japanese girl making curry, like any streamer, but something's a miss. Like her, the background is kind of messy. Is she a hoarder? It pans to her ingredients. Like, wait, is there something moving on that pile of stuff filled up to the brim with cockroaches? - It's disturbing, and appears to be a mental health issue, unless of course it's somehow-- - Staged? - Giving her clout. - I mean, that's a country with very strange fetishes. Like, I went to Japan Village this weekend in Industry City, and there's like a figurine shop upstairs, it's very popular, it has like Pokemon stuff in video games, but it's like figurines of like Takeshi Murakami stuff of like anime women that, I don't know, private dicks probably enjoy, it was weird. I walked in, I'm like, children should not be in here. Like, these are all figurines, like Venus of Villendorf 2024. - So you're writing off girl rotting, or in this specific example, the girl with roaches on the walls as just a product of Japanese culture, sounds racist. - Is Nick Nurse really into this? Is he super into this? Is he really, really super into this? - Can you see her feet? Is she wearing Cookie's Hoops cowboy boots? (laughs) - They're propped up on a pillow that says, Cookie's Hoops. (laughs) - Did girl rotting come from my year of rest and relaxation? Like, is that the origin for girl rotting, or is it something that's always existed that had a name? Like, the woman just spending her days lying on a couch having fainting spells, I feel like that's kind of a paradigm. - And it's like a deeply sexist paradigm, right? 'Cause it's a woman, but it's usually kind of a dude who's been, like, issued a phrase of affection from their girlfriend and takes it the wrong way. (laughs) It's like, come on, dude, stop rotting, get over it. - I wouldn't naturally hook up with you on a one-night stand. Okay, well, it looks like I'm not leaving the couch for a year. - All right, I found someone else. They're exactly you, they make curry so well. They're like young, they're house full of roaches. It's like, ah, god damn it, more roaches. - They're wearing a defend Brooklyn shirt. - Curry, and rot, and roaches, and you-- - But the specific girl rot you're talking about, it has to be fetish-related, has to be. - I think so too, 'cause everything out of that weird country is fetish-related to me, and I don't wanna-- - Or she's just insane. But what an insane person do it with such artistic pazazz, right, 'cause she kind of misdirects us and makes it seem like she's just doing a standard issue streaming video, and it's like slowly revealed, and then she gives us like the slam dunk at the end, which is like, okay, look at my wall, they're full of roaches. - Yeah, it's quite vile. - It's amazing, and I don't like quite like Japanese food, and I really enjoyed visiting Tokyo, and the outskirts of Tokyo, it's cool, but I'm not like they do everything better in that country. So to see this squalor, it feels like it feels like a commentary on something, right? It doesn't feel like it's not without its intent. - That could be true. Have you eaten any kind of bugs intentionally? Not unintentionally, which I'm sure we've eaten up. - Oh, we've talked about this. - Oh, Ray, I got Chinese food once and had a huge giant cockroach in it. - Right, but I mean intentionally. - Oh, like in Mexico City, you kind of like delicious bugs. I have not. Well, let's shrimp, whatever, but no, I have not. - I've had some crickets that were-- - I did not do. - Crickets that were dried, and they kind of had a, I don't know exactly what kind of powdered seasoning was on, it was kind of a spicy, citric thing. Those were unobjectionable, I mean, they might as well have been like Fritos or something. They're just dried shrimp. - Yeah. - And then I had shrimp also, excuse me, not shrimp. I had crickets, this one was like soft and fat, and it was like on top of a dish, honestly, just kind of like a little protein, morsel. It was a vehicle for whatever it was cooked in. It was not objectionable either. I've had ants, but they were in a sauce. All these are Mexico though. I've never really gotten in the trenches when it comes to eating bugs. But crickets and ants are the experience I've had. But every now and then, and I'm sure you've seen these, there's like a trend piece about how we're all gonna be eating insects in no time. Insect protein bars that this is gonna be the food source. - Cricket powder. - For, exactly. For all of humanity, because bugs are this resource that we can get protein from, but they don't require the kind of resources that raising cattle does or something like that. So there's always this idea that eventually we're gonna be eating bugs. I'm not sure about that. - This is how I feel about rounded collars and the doomsday clock. It's like, oh, we're a few minutes from the doomsday clock, hitting midnight, unlike for the last 25 years. - It's never been closer than today. Like, oh fuck, we're gonna be eating bugs. - Soccer is gonna take over the USA. I'm like, oh, I've heard this my whole life. It still sucks in the USA. But like... - Weirdly, weirdly. I think you've drawn in a good parallel though, because the doomsday clock in nuclear apocalypse is always tied to eating bugs. - No. - That movie threads. They're eating rats and bugs. This is idea that roaches are going to survive on a nuclear winter, and then we're just gonna have to eat them. What was that movie about the speeding train where people are eating bug bars? - Oh, I hate that movie. They made it, Captain America's in that, right? And they remade it to like a longer show, and they canceled it. - Yeah, something about ice train. - Yeah, man. I mean, Koreans won the Asian War in America. I'll admit that. I'm damn Serbia over here in their team USA. - Snowpier, sir. - Snowpier, yeah, I watch that. I'm like, these movies suck, man. I don't, they don't make any sense. Like, you travel from car to car, and it's like kind of like a strata of class. But they're railroad apartments. Anybody who's chilled out in the East Village knows that that doesn't quite work. - That is the flaw of the Snowpier, sir, seriously. - Yeah, yeah. - Hey, look, I went to my dealer's house. I came back with cowboy boots, and then I slit my wrist trying to do the kid and play dance. Don't sell me on this bug eating expedition on the snow train. - I know. - What do you think I am, a fool? - I would eat bugs, though. I mean, I'm gearing down. I'm not eating as much meat as I used to, but like, I mean, I had a lobster with our homies the other week. It looked like a bug. I don't know. Everyone has thought about this before. Like, imagine going downstairs into your basement of your building and putting the garbage in the garbage can and instead of seeing two huge cockroaches, which is like startling and deeply disturbing, you see two giant lobsters. Fuck out of here. - Yeah, yeah, they are sort of, well, they're definitely bugs. - They're bugs, but it's okay. Bugs are okay, but okay, my question to you maybe is what I really wanna ask is, you know how animals have a natural built-in aversion to snakes? Like a kitten sees a snake and it knows to get the fuck away. Which is kind of a sinister idea, but like, baby animals-- - Doesn't seem fair to the snake. - I'm down for snakes and rats and all this stuff. I am the rat czar number two. But is it fair to say that nature has created a natural built-in aversion to bugs because bugs are by nature, like decomposers? And they're like, you shouldn't eat those because they're the janitors of this ecosystem. And you wanna kind of eat from the top down, not the bottom up, just for longevity, for health, whatever, bacteria. - Maybe so, but that's also looking at it from a Western standpoint, right? Because I would presume that when people were foraging for food, bugs were just part of the things you could pluck off of a branch. But a lot of stuff that, let's talk about religion, was because of health reasons too, right? It's like, you shouldn't eat pork. Well, it's like, well, that's because of trichnosis. And they came up with reasons that the pig was dirty and you shouldn't have this food, but a lot of it was based on don't eat shellfish because it might make you sick. Don't eat pigs because it might kill you. Let's just get those out of our diet by religious doctrine and dogma, but for health reasons. So maybe there are cultures who were like, people keep dying because they're eating bugs, so why don't we just chill on all that? That's my theory at least. But then again, I don't know. I feel like the future of eating bugs seems a little grim, but maybe we're gonna have to do it, you know, when walls is in charge, then these libs. (laughing) - This is the future Dems want. - These libs take control of the country or we're just gonna be stuck eating bugs. - So my issue is like, talk about a Western point of view. My issue with like vegetables is like, we have not done a good job of making them super delicious. And, you know, I'm raising kids now, and I remember as a kid, having a different take on vegetables than my white friends, you know, I'm just like, well, you start with the greens and then whatever comes afterwards and they're jacked up with sodium and, you know, a little bit of pork fat or whatever and they're delicious. But when you eat like raw carrots and raw celery, like, yeah, that's not any fun. In order for this paradigm shift to happen over generations, you gotta make fruit delicious, don't you? - So your theory here is you wanna turn vegetables into fruit? - Or, though every, just send everything down to Mexico City, have them do their thing and bring it back. - Yeah, vegetables, you can just season them. I don't know. You're the one with little tots because it takes a little while for kids to be able to eat food with spice or flavor. So that's kind of the problem, right? You can make vegetables delicious if you season them up, but maybe a kid won't have it. - I mean, they will just consider the things that you offer them and hunger is real, so if they're hungry and you give them like three options of vegetables, they'll probably pick one. Obviously, they're little microwaves, so all they want is pizza, croissants, donuts, egg clairs, bear claws, chocolate croissants, raspberry croissants. - How many pastries can you name? - Have I told you I'm in my pastry golden years? - Golden era. I don't know what to call it. I'm peeking with bakeries, man. - I think you told us. Yeah, I think you told us you were in your pastry era. - It's incredible, man. Thank you. Thank you for that. It's incredible. I'm just destroying these, you know, I'm not going to the outskirts to find these bakeries, but between Brooklyn and Lower Manhattan, there's a lot of damage to be done, and I'm doing that damage. So, I'm just going to flip open this Manila folder, and here I got some bad news. Got photos, your wife is out here with this guy, and he's just, they're eating a croissant together, a huge croissant, and he's throwing it on one side. He is fully throwing this croissant, and here's a photo of it. - You know, RG3 does this thing on social media that is so simple and so dumb and so effective. He knows what the fuck he's doing, right? - Well, if you put up a photo of yourself throwing a gigantic croissant. - Fellas, he's eating sus. Like, what do you mean "throating"? Just like biting a croissant. - Is throat-goating a giant croissant sus? - It's incredible how that's the first thing you know someone's going to think about. That's a penis, and he's throwing it. It's a croissant, and he's baiting everyone, right? But, obviously, it's just going to be the first thing everyone thinks about, because to catch a predator, a predator. - But my wife is on the other side of that croissant. Sorry, sir. - You're throwing it. - It made him go viral, and he reintroduced it later on in the night, being like, what an Olympics. Here's the top photos of this entire two weeks, and the last one was that photo again. It's funny. - Well, Andrew, you've successfully brought us over to the Olympics. - Let's do it. - And let's think about this from a historical context. USA basketball. - The three big moments of the modern era. Like the dream team, the redeem team, and then this team. All that's really missing is we don't have a nickname for this one, right? - You've been asking that on social media. You can't really choose your nickname, right? Like, call me Ray Gunquo. You're like, eh. Not until you do an odd breakdancing routine in front of the world, can you be called Ray Gun? You know, like some people are like, call me the Sandman, 'cause I hit hard. It's like, no, you're more of a so-and-so. So like, if the nickname hasn't revealed itself, it doesn't have a nickname. Like, do you call Darantula? - No, even though Slim Reaper was a Darantula, both good nicknames, but no one ever used them. - Like, you call LeBron James the King James? Like, I've never said that. A good brand, whatever. - I mean, maybe as a joke. You know, you'd like respect the King, you know, maybe like along those lines. But yeah, I wouldn't be like, wow, great game by the King. - Yeah, and you know, he does the whole placing of the crown on his own head during games. Like, he's trying to milk that. I mean, he's an extremely cringe dude, who is like, unbelievably great. - I really liked watching him play with the gray beard. And, all right, so let's talk about this team a little bit. There is no nickname, which is gonna make it difficult to identify them 20 years from now. They'll just say the team with LeBron, Katie, and Curry, 'cause it was their team, this was their Olympics. And I personally, and Tatum, of course, I personally wasn't very invested up until the Serbia game. And I was kind of okay with them losing. There's this little party that always wants the USA basketball team to lose because they're such overwhelming favorites. And it's kind of funny. But watching that game was like, oh fuck that shit. I do not want them to lose to Serbia and Bogdanovich. No, no, no, no. And I was watching them come back from down 11, down 13, the fourth quarter. That was gripping. That was exciting. There were real stakes. It would have been a humiliating loss. Also, I like this team. - Mm-hmm. - They're a, an affable bunch of guys. - Agreed. And this comes in like, my parents were immigrants, so I kind of root for like weird things. Like I, for most America, I want them to win. But the idea, the idea of the sports underdog is really important. Like when USA won the hockey, the miracle on ice. They were underdogs versus Russia. So like, that kind of fit. But to your point, the US team USA basketball is such overwhelmingly powerful. That like, it's hard to find a ethical way to watch this experience. And Bogdanovich gave us one, because he started talking shit. I'm a huge Bojan fan. Bogdan fan, actually, because like, I don't know. I thought he was six man of the year. He's kind of got a game. He kind of plays in a fluid, Monogen Obly style. But trying to find a way to enjoy this was the great thing about the Serbia game. Because they came back. The Serbia had been leading versus the oath of the MVP. And it was a way for Americans to experience being the underdog. Yeah, that's a good point. Because as you said, overwhelming favorite. But once you're down 13, and there are stakes, this would be a mortifying loss to the hated Serbian. But yeah, Bogdanovich talking shit. This would be a public humiliation ritual for USA basketball. We're going to have to hear about how the Europeans, they are the ones who really understand this sport, this team game, and Americans are being ruined. AAU is destroying this, and Jason Tatum should have played. But we were spared all that. The stakes were high. And we would have heard about how Tatum should have played instead. It didn't happen. But that game was really thrilling. You know, the Katie dagger late and B, getting some buckets. Super fun. And then of course the finals was another close game against France. And we were treated to Steph Curry's lone Olympic appearance and just a phenomenal classic archetypical curry game. Has he finally listened to your criticism? I was thinking about that. Has he won me over? Yeah. Is he has in your own personal record book, in your private investigation? I need to see more. I need more proof. Look, I'm a private dick, and what we care about is evidence. Hard evidence. How many donuts can you eat in that car? Oh, there comes Steph Curry now. I got to throw these donuts out the window. Oh, I got to go. You know, I think no one should... Go coffee all over my shirt. Cold coffee. Ah, it's too hot. Either or. This team is incredible because we should not agree on this stuff. But personally, I think the best player of all time and the second best player of all time is on this team. And that would be LeBron and Durant. I find a joy in Steph Curry who is like a towering man with like biceps. And if he walked into Hell Square number 12, we'd be like, "That guy is huge. Don't fuck with him." But on the court. He's a worthy seal. Yeah, exactly. He's exactly like me but can hit a three. But I find a joy in watching him that I don't in the other two. Because he's such a malign player and he is graceful in a way that aesthetically just is a contrast to the side, I mean Durant's unbelievable. But Curry's performance versus Serbia and France got me thinking of like a delicious take which is, is Curry better than Michael Jordan? I don't know. Yes and no. The base off of advanced stats, no. But as we have found out through people relitigating statistics, like Jordan's statistics are kind of noisy, especially with the closer three point line and the steel stuff and the defensive stats. Curry's dominance certainly in my lifetime, his peak looked better than Michael Jordan's peak. He beat Lebron James. I don't know. I mean Jordan is a top 10 player for sure. I'm not. I'm mostly saying the idea of Curry beating Lebron doesn't. Not really fair. It's a team, it's a team win. I just mean Lebron was clearly better than him in. Lebron is the best player of all time. I'm talking about all of their finals match ups. So I just mean him beating Lebron. It never felt like that. And I'm not even bringing up that well he never won a finals MVP. It just never felt like while Curry got the best of Lebron, it just never felt like that in the moment. Lebron is the best player of all time, hands down. But you could make the argument that like Katie got the best of Lebron a couple of times in those finals. He's the second best player of all time. Right. I see where you're going with this. Right. Right. Those two are in my personal record book. They are one and two. But like Curry's, Curry just keeps on getting more interesting. He's certainly not the player he used to be in the NBA. But watching a performance like last week, I'm like, you gotta start, I personally have to start considering him. This excellent in such a dominant era. Like someone played a dream team. Someone posted a dream team video of them playing in the Olympics. And the other teams didn't even have uniforms. They were wearing like screen printed Russell Athletic stuff. Like it wasn't real. And then the narrative of that is everyone was so excited to play Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley. That it kind of jump started the culture of basketball around the world. Fast forward to 2024. Serbia is like a nasty FIBA team that is not an NBA style game. Well, yeah, there was a stat that I think there was 12 NBA players in the Olympics that were not on the dream team. In '92, whenever that was. No. And I think there was 60 today. Yeah. The growth of the international game without saying, it's five times, six times as many players. And right, you look at the French team who lost in a relatively close game. There were some marginal NBA guys on that team. You know, there was, but pretty much everyone had at least been in the NBA or been drafted by an NBA team or spent some time on a roster. Or at least all their rotational guys. But also, you know, they had the defensive player of the year and the rookie of the year on that team. Out of the big awards that get, you know, meted out to non-Celtics every season. Like they had literally two of the main awards. They had the rookie of the year and the defensive player of the year. The other big award is the MVP who they did not have, but was on the Serbian team. Yeah. And shout out to Steve Kerr, who I think stuck to his pace, speed. You know, he had a FIBA adjustment in mind. And like, it relegated Go Bear to kind of the bench, literally the bench. And the FIBA game is complex in a way that I think I don't appreciate enough as an NBA fan. Like, it is a different game. Not to diminish that point, but Go Bear may have had an injury. There were certain games when he just wasn't playing much overall. Yeah, that's fair. But also, he's been relegated to the bench in the NBA in certain situations where people famously call him out for not closing important games for them because he can't stretch, he can't recover fast enough. He's kind of like a stationary force. But the French team was so dynamic that, especially with Wenby, like, I wasn't quite sure it was going to be a blowout. It ended up being a blowout because of one game sample, whatever. But I think a good, you know, a lot of dream team, Asian, who are delightful, and this debate is awesome, are like, well, if this team is so good, why are the game so close? And my explanation is the teams are just better, and putting together an all-star team doesn't guarantee cohesiveness. And Serbia and France are FIBA first. So I think they had a slight kind of jump start or slight head start in that regard. I mean, I would also say it was not quite a blowout. It was a three-point game with three minutes to go. Right. Yeah, and Curry kind of killed them. Yeah. I mean, from then forward, Curry took over the game and made it, you know, it did not come down to the final buzzer, like the women's gold medal game between U.S. and France. One possession game, when I think had a put back with three minutes to go, made it 82.79. So it was competitive. But yeah, so you had Schroeder making some comments that, as you said, fit into this typical Euro-centric idea of basketball that pundits love, Mark Cuban loves it, this idea that they know how to play the game. I think the rules are different, man. Yeah, it's just the rules are different. Like, yes, I know these guys have played more together. The teams have more cohesion. They aren't patched together, you know, and played pickup ball for three weeks, a couple exhibition games and get out there. Like, that's true. But it's also just different rules, you know, and beads ability to take up space in the NBA and be arguably the greatest score in history last season, I think 36 a game, like hyper efficiently, that hasn't been done ever. But in the NBA, excuse me, in, you know, FEMA basketball, it's a lot harder to do. The lane is wider. There's different rules. Yeah, I mean, you know, what Schroeder said, of course, people look, and the bevices hunching their keyboard are like, that's a dog whistle, you know, like guys do not look away from what he's trying to say. And I don't necessarily think it's a racist dog whistle because the NBA is clearly the superior league and it just has different rules. And, you know, ever since Vladidivat, or Petrovitch, right? Petrov, like, the idea of the passing euro has been constant through generations, through the dead ball era, through the, you know, redeem team era, like all these things, like we always understood euros as being adept at passing. And I'm like, FEMA is a beautiful game to watch, and the geometry is different on the court, and the penalties are different, and the rules are different, and that kind of creates a different kind of prototype. And I love seeing big men pass. Like, that reads as artistry to me, so I'm kind of with Schroeder on this. Well, it's funny because euro basketball at this point isn't white basketball. Definitely. Like, there was a moment in time when that was the case, but it isn't now. You know, you look at the French team, you know, or you look at Schroeder, who is also not a player that anyone necessarily, you know, would make associations to being a basketball genius, or an incredible passer, or having... He's good at international law, man. He is an international player. Oh, he's good. I mean, he's a good basketball player. I just mean, when I think of, like, the, you know, high-Q basketball players, Schroeder, I don't know. Like, Crazy Handle has, like, some really slick moves. I think he's very talented and polished and can do a lot of stuff, but I wouldn't be like, "This guy just gets the game on a different level." But I do think it is still a dog whistle against, like, American basketball culture, which would be like American black culture, so I think it is a dog whistle towards, like, that versus being about, like, white basketball. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I mean, we didn't talk about Ray Gun. I mean, if we can take a quick aside, right, during the Olympics, the breakdancing representative from Australia, Ray Gun, Rachel Gunn, did a routine that was mocked throughout the Internet. And there weren't, like, that many classic breakdancing moves. She was kind of plodding. There were some jokes in there. It seemed like she was making light of the whole competition. And, you know, upon some private dick work, you find out that she is, like, a professor in studies of this culture, and she has competed like this, but she's also funny about it. She's like, "I want it to be an Olympian." So, I don't know. Breakdancing's not a thing in Australia, though, so now I'm the representative. And a lot of people on my feed criticized her of making a mockery of African-American culture and how many of the contestants weren't African-American. The judges weren't. The DJs weren't. The music wasn't. And they were kind of making the point that this is not a reflection of what this art form is. Do you have any takes on that? Well, right, it's through a totally different prism where it's so far removed from its original source that it's still from a place of appreciation. It's just that the level is so low. It's like, "Okay, we're going to have an Olympic basketball team, and we don't have anyone who can hoop, but we love the game." You guys are making a mockery of it. No, no, we're not. We really love it. We're just bad. We're at the YMCA. We love this game. You guys are a disgrace. Why are you so terrible? You can't shoot. You can't dribble. But this is everything to us. I just love it. I mean, I walk into a fancy Italian restaurant, $50 plates, and I'm like, "There better be a Chinese man back there making those noodles." Because if there isn't, this is a farce of this cuisine. And like, "Yo, basketball was invented by a white guy in Massachusetts." Like, it's tricky. Like, Nas came out on Twitter and was like, "This is an insult to me and my culture. Totally fair, right?" But it's been so many years. Like, I don't know if we can put stuff in amber, even though I try. I don't know if we can put stuff in amber like this anymore. And these discussions sound not only sound misplaced, but sound generational. This sounds like a Gen X beef, even though it sounds tranquil generation. Yes. Well, I think also, the culprit here would be however the breakdancers were selected. Right? Like, how did Regan make it through to this point where she's on TV as an Olympic breakdancer when she isn't good at it? Because you can certainly find better talent anywhere. Maybe not from Australia, but then how is she here? How did she qualify? You know, like, the problem isn't her. She clearly enjoys breakdancing, but it's just not very good at it. But how was she elevated to this platform? As I said, it would be like saying, "Hey, good news. The YMCA All-Stars are playing against the redeem team." Like, "Well, why? How did that happen?" Right. Yes. And, you know, I think she claims that no one stepped up to take her place. She's here, you know. I was like, "Oh, I submitted my entry, and here I am." And, you know, she says explicitly it's not a thing in Australia. But it certainly is a thing in Japan, and a Japanese men's breaker, I believe, won the gold. But, you know, it was so funny watching it because sort of like skateboarding, and I do not want to anger skateboard Twitter, I respect the tenacity of that scene. But, like, I read it as an originally, its origin story is about defiance, about counter-culturalism, about new things. And we've gotten so far away from the origins of punk, where it's just like, it's no longer new. It kind of like confides in a realm of strict, strict rules. And so does hip-hop, you know. Like, hip-hop was kind of the origin of it was counter-cultural. And now, if you misstep in any certain way, your deemed is inauthentic. And that's fine. Those are the new rules. That has changed. But when Ray Gunn did her performance, I was like, "That's kind of funny and interesting. Obviously, it doesn't look especially athletic. I cannot fucking do those moves." I don't even know how she has that core strength to do those moves. And then I looked at the gold medal and people were like, "This is breakdancing." I'm like, "You all are cringe. All of this is cringe." Like, dudes like hyping themselves up on the side, like waiting to step in. And I'm like, "I don't know if any of this is quote-unquote cool." You know what I mean? Well, you do your up-rocking around stone fruit. I surely do, man. So, yeah, I was thinking about some of the feedback on the breakdancing. People were like, "I can't believe it's like a Ukrainian woman, and Ray Gunn, and a Japanese guy. It's like we're losing recipes." I'm like, "Well, this kind of reminds me of one of store closes." I'm like, "I can't believe this place is going out of business. Well, one's the last time you shop there." "Oh, I don't shop there. I haven't gone in years." Yeah. But I wish it was still open. Yeah. Well, do you like breakdancing? Are you into it? Well, no, I think it's lame. But they've stolen it. Why don't you breakdancing? Well, no, that sucks. I'm over here beatboxing. I got to spend all my time mastering my beatbox. I can't do all five elements. Like, this is supposed to be a heptathlon with all the elements of hip-hop. I can't focus solely on my up-rocking. I really hate to break it to you. I'm dating a dancer right now. A breakdancer? You're like, "Oh, good for you. I've always wished for the best for you." That's amazing. Big smile on your face. I'm dating a b-boy now. I'm like, "Oh, I'm so happy for you. I'm happy for you. This makes me so joyful." I've got some bad news. I'm leaving you. No. No. I've met someone else. Okay. Is he a Navy SEAL? He's a dancer. Like a modern dancer? A ballet dancer? Break. He's in the Olympics. He's like, "Oh, that's incredible for you. I'm so happy." You left me for an Olympian? That's right. Is it Steph Curry? No, no, no. Is it a Bogdanovie? Just tell me if it's a Bogdanovie. It's a breakdancer. But I really enjoy it, and I hope they don't get rid of that event because it's fun. That's one of the most memorable things of this entire Olympics. Like I said last time, I love the fucking Olympics, man. It is truly a wonderful thing to watch this world get this small, especially with this fucking breakdancing thing. Also, I forgot, but congratulations are in order to you because you actually got the bronze medal in Graffiti. Oh my god. Wait, that's coming off of a gold in beat juggling? Holy shit. My elbows, man. Maybe I shouldn't have jacked my elbows up because maybe I could return to the Olympics to defend my gold in beat juggling if my elbows weren't so muscular. I mean, I think you really outdid yourself, and you won that gold when you hit that flare scratch, and your Filipino competitor tried a crab scratch. And I think that was the difference. Yeah, remember I pieced together the words that all the scratching is making me itch? It just blew the roof off of the Olympics. It was incredible. My elbows have never been more yoked. You were. [laughter] You're using the beginning of J-Roo's Come Clean and turned those water drop bongo sounds into the beat from top villain. Listen, I went through the entire alphabet, the English alphabet, A, B, C, D, with different samples illustrating my mastery of the language and my elbows' mastery of the language. And that's how you won the gold. That's right. That's right. Beat juggling event. I mean, what other cool shit can they do? I'm like, when is esports going to get into it? Because that scene, also one of the things that never took over, right, esports is going to take over like never. But it's still fucking cool. And the longevity of these athletes is smaller than like NFL players. Like their twitch muscles like kind of decline in their early 20s, and they're just done. It should be an Olympic event. Yeah, I know what you mean. We're in the esports correction where no one cares about it. Those that brief window where NBA teams all had a corresponding esports team. Fox. Rick Fox has one, right? Every team had one. They come up with these partnerships. The Sixers have their esports cohort. And I don't know how they arrange these. And if it was only playing basketball, I don't even know. But they tried to really connect NBA to esports and that just did not take off. I think, I mean, what you're saying is correct. There is a brief window and these people are really good. And I would presume there'd be an audience because, you know, the streaming is super popular and twitch and that whole subculture. Ultimately, I just don't think you can sell Olympics audiences on esports. Oh, no. It's just guys with a headset. I mean, I always come back to the same thing. If they let a dude race with two prosthetic legs, then why not darts? Let's do poker. Come on. I say yes on darts. It's shooting, right? It's more difficult than shooting a gun. What's the difference between archery and darts? Let's talk about it. Nothing. Okay, we settled it. But we had that conversation. You know, it would cost them so little to do, like, whack-a-mole Olympics. And it would just, like, be so viral. Like, all the women's team USA had to do was put Reese or Clark on it. And we would have been flocking to those games. Instead, like, no one was really talking about those games on my feet. I agree. Also, the gold medal game was at 9 a.m. They didn't even schedule it to be watchable. It's like it was an afterthought. And I heard the attendance was really poor in the media. Attention was kind of expectedly minimal. But we talked about this a few weeks ago. They made an ethical decision that sandbag the entire endeavor. Yes, these rookies haven't earned it. They'll have an opportunity later on. It's true that that is a fair and moral way to pick your Olympic team. Also, you could have put Angel Reese and Caitlin Clark on it. Everyone would have watched the games and everyone would have been super into it. And it would have been a huge discussion. It would have gone viral. There would have been all these moments. And you just decided, no, you were going to err on the side of morality. And not on my watch. Fair enough. Fair enough. Not on Andrew's watch. I mean, how do you take leprechauns who are like, you bench Tatum because of a bias like you're talking about, but this bias is an anti-selfic bias. And you humiliated this MVP caliber player by relegating him to the bench. This is why it's so important that they won those games. We could have had a Twitter disaster. Oh. Oh, my lord. They lost. Oh, Tatum on the bench. Fire Kerr. And there's a basket. Big sketches. Okay. So, are they wrong? Does Kerr look at Jason Tatum and be like, I have a lot of good players. Fuck a Celtic. Like, no one likes a Celtic here. I beat them in the finals, like, and I'll beat them again by benching Tatum. And, you know, white and drew holiday don't really count. They do because they won the championship for the Celtics, but they're kind of journeymen. So, like, they just represent the NBA. Tatum represents Boston. Yeah. I mean, Derek White is, I would not really call him a journeyman, but he is not a... Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. He's a guy who died in the wool, Celtic. He's not a leprechaun. He's a pop guy. Yeah. And, you know, holiday, this is his fourth team. And he's living in that one season. Yeah. Yeah. Holiday and white are not, like, Celtic Celtics. But that said, I don't know that Kerr was striking a blow against leprechaun nation. I think he looked at his roster and said, all right, well, we've got LeBron and Katie. They're playing the forward slot. And we don't need scoring because we have Anthony Edwards and Curry along with a four mentioned other two guys. We have Joe L.A. Bead. Let's take him's role in that team. Devin Booker. He can't be a... But he can't do the stuff that Booker can do. Nope. No, because he's not a guard. He's too slow to be a guard. He's just not a guard. He's not a defender. Like, if all the firepower on that court, like you mentioned, Derek White and Drew Holiday fit perfectly, right? Because they don't necessarily need their shots and they're good switchable guards and wing. Yeah. And Anthony Edwards also a guard. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's six foot four. Tatum is, like, six foot eight. He's a forward. I mean, he plays power forward a lot of the time. And the FIBA... Yeah. They don't need that. You know, we were just talking about the FIBA kind of pace and movement. Tatum is a ball stopper, you know, a Drew Hanlon guy getting to his spots. And so, you know, people would say so is a Bead. He's the ultimate ball stopper. But a Bead is also maybe the best defender on that team, rim protector. And Bead can also stretch. And Bead is huge. And Bead is more than just a ball stopper. I agree. And Bead kind of, like, his pace was not perfect versus certain matchups in this tournament. But he does so much on the court that, like, that's why he plays and Tatum does not. And Bead is arguably a top two basketball player on earth. Sure. You know, just based on the NBA, that doesn't mean he was that good in the Olympics, different rules, different sport, different teammates, but there is not a comparison between and Bead and Tatum. They are just on two different dimensions. Right. I mean, and Bead has been, I would say, the last five years he's been a top three player every single season. But isn't this the interesting thing? Tatum has been a top 10 player, right? But maybe. But when the pecking order happens, when the stakes are this high in a tournament like this, with this much attention, of course, Yokech and MVP and Yokech and MBead have been fighting for MVP for all these years, you know, throwing Janis here and there or Yoke Luca. But when it really comes down to it, MBead is not a top five player on team USA or top three player, to be fair. It's Curry Durant Lebron, like, she gets really real. And we have to, like, reconfigure the pecking order a little bit. Yeah. I agree. That's the style of sport. Also, you know, Tatum, not to try to drag Tatum here, but, you know, he didn't make a three. He didn't, he didn't shoot that well. He, he was 38 percent from the floor. He didn't really have a role in that team. It's not a knock on him. Some guys couldn't play. Just by virtue of having a 12 man roster and there only being so many minutes to distribute. And that's why Halliburton played. But his mom wasn't going on social media. You didn't have Pacers fans, at least that I saw up in arms and saying this is a conspiracy. Like, Tyree's Halliburton last season, until he got hurt, was arguably a top five player. He was better than Jason Tatum last season. So I mean, yeah, the, you know, before he got hurt, I just mean the idea that someone's being insulted here should apply just as much to Halliburton as it should to Tatum. It's not that Tatum deserves minutes because the Celtics won a title. However, annoying Halliburton is, at least he has a sense of humor and I think he went on social media being like, you know, when you get a gold and you don't do shit. But did you see the footage of the party afterwards? He like brought in a bustload of white girls and everyone was going off about him bringing the white? Hilarious. Hilarious players. He plays for the Pacers. But you know, there was, they were the only celebrities in the entire Olympics. I know, I know Simone Biles is the goat, like she attracts a crowd. The tennis players are celebrities. But these guys are rock stars, right? Like LeBron, Booker, Durant, Curry. They were the only true celebrities in the entire Olympics. I think Devin Booker has elevated his aura. I like him now, man. This dude is hilarious. I mean, he's cool. Yeah. He wrote off and that was cool. Yeah, there was that scene, but then he was also at La Perle with Atiba. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah. And that was that video of Tim Robinson FaceTiming with him. Dude, I got all those videos, I got the download of those videos to my phone, Hilarious. And then him writing off from the party, I forget what that place is called. I've been there at a GQ event, shout out to Will Welch a few years ago. I'm pretty sure it's the same venue. Even though a lot of places in Paris obviously have that kind of same awning, but I think it was there. And then there was, when LeBron came in and did his little dance, there's a Stefan Ashpool listening right next to him, who was one of the guys who did the Brand Pigal back in the day. And he's a big basketball head as well, Anna Hooper. It was nice seeing these weird connections between people we know in basketball, people we know in photography and then converging in Paris, that was kind of sick, even though even though we weren't there. Yeah. And I can't tell if it adds to it or takes away from it because the sanctity of the Olympics is the improbable story of someone training in the snow in Michigan or Serbia and getting this gold medal on this world stage. But these guys have just been superstars since they've been teenagers, but it felt notable to see them acting like movie stars, because I'm like, it's just such a different experience for them. They don't say in the village, they don't stay on those unfuckable beds. They don't have to deal with people getting COVID or eating bad food. Like they have a private, I believe they were on a yacht again maybe or a nice hotel. And they were the, I watched as much as I could, but the USA basketball team was the highlight to me. That was, I mean, I love basketball, but that was the most fun and that and some own biles. I mean, I just thought that was the branding is a take would be, this is how villains are created, right? Watching team USA prance around. I don't know if you can create a better team than this team and they're going to try. They're going to get beat soon in our lifetime. The doomsday clock is almost at 12. What I think is cool is having Paris, excuse me, France elevated into being our rival. The fact that they were in the finals in both men's and women's is appropriate. They are the rising powerhouse. You know, we've had Argentina, we had Spain. They were teams that had a brief moment of, of, I don't know, I don't know. What was the Puerto Rican player's name that I love with the shape pit bull? He looks like pit bull. Jose Alvarada? Yes. No. Come on. That's New York City. Anyway, go on. I'll Google. He was on the Puerto Rican team. Oh, not, no, but years ago when they beat the US. Oh, I know who I want. Yeah. He does look like pit bull, but not Mike Bivy, but the, but yeah, no, no, it should be France. France is the up and coming enemy of the US international ball. Like you've got Wendy, he's 20 years old. You've got what three of the top five or six picks in the draft, three of the top 10. I mean, those guys, if they, they're, we're going to see them in down the road in the Olympics. And those guys are all really young. And this generation of American legends won't be there in four years. It's unlikely that we'll get curry, LeBron and Katie, probably none of them. And we're going to get wemby and we're going to go bare and we're going to get a whole bunch of these young French guys. Nixon, it's a legend. Yeah. Yeah. Like France is going to be a real international threat. But again, it's appropriate. They are the second best basketball nation right now. Yeah. I think they're ahead of Serbia, personally. Yeah. I don't know, man. Yokech is still in his prime. You got one of the bugged on a bye on that team, which one we'll never know. But for that's fair. And I said villain origin story because there was a lot to be said about wemby's reaction to losing. And he was in tears. And everyone's like, fuck yeah, a player that cares. And I hate to admit that I'm kind of a vibeist this way. But yeah, that's awesome to see. And he's like, I'm going to start crushing everybody. Get the fuck out of my way. I'm like, yes, if I was a Spurs fan, I would be putting him on my Mount Rushmore. It's awesome to see him just being pissed and upset. And he's going to hopefully, you know, like his health with sanding, he's going to beat Team USA at some point, I think. Yeah. I mean, watching him out there, his ability to like drain threes, go off the dribble. I mean, he's going up against three of the all time goats. And that is something that we will talk about when the wemby story is done. And you know, ideally he can stay healthy and be, you know, as great as possible. But you will look back and say, remember when wemby went against three of the top five players, three, maybe the three top players out of the last three top American players out of the last 20 years, you know, maybe and beat and, and, uh, and yokech and Janus are younger. But if you look at the span of the last 20 years, it's Katie, Curry and LeBron. And he went up against them and he cut the game to three with three minutes ago and then wept when they lost. It used to be a robin to rizash a love it. The tallest robin on earth. But yeah, that was a cool tournament, right? And like, I don't want to get into semantics, but like, I thought it was more dramatic than the feeble world cup. I thought it was definitely more dramatic than the NBA finals. Like that was extremely awesome. What kind of made up for not having a playoffs in the NBA this year? This NBA postseason was deflating. There's too many injuries. That's all the injuries and just took the wind out of all of it. Well, the Western conference was cool. And to me, that was worth, you know, the price of admission, so to speak. I mean, but yeah, not having an NBA team crowned this year, having a gold medal was a way to sort of rectify that, I think. Yeah. I don't know. And I certainly do find myself wishing Caitlin Clark and Angel Reese were playing on that side of things because you miss out on all the jokes and all the memes and all that good stuff that thankfully Ray Gunn provided for us. I mean, I'm pretty sure that USA women's basketball was kicking themselves afterwards because they know it didn't have the juice and the fact that they won by one, they didn't have a tour de force, the game that no one really watched. And yeah, they won the gold and that's expected, but you won by one in a game that no one saw and he didn't bring Caitlin Clark or Angel Reese or even some of the players who were on the team WNBA that beat the shit out of the Olympic team during the All-Star break. Yeah. And what I miss is like, you know, what the stories we get during an NBA or WNBA season like shapes like what we think of these characters. And the Olympics is another chance for that to have another transformation. And you know, I wanted the transformation of Clark and Reese, that dynamic so bad. And the same way like on the other side, even former players kind of transformed like Carmelo kind of had another chapter of his story on the sideline being like super team USA, Dwayne Wade, Stefan Marbury, like they all kind of contributed to this thing. And I kind of want to shift back to the men's thing, but like the WNBA missed this opportunity to create more stuff. And it felt like the men's side with these guys on the sideline with Scotty Pippin in those matrix classes, like it was a celebration of the damn game, right? Yeah. I mean, again, thinking of how much pop there was around the WNBA All-Star game. And then we're like, oh, Caitlyn Clark and Angel Reese and Enrique and like, oh, yeah, none of them are on the team, but we just saw them. We just saw Enrique score 34. She cooked the hell out of those girls as she's not on it. Oh, who's on it? Oh, there's some good players. There's, you know, there's Asia, there's Brianna, there's, there's, there's goats. Okay, cool. But we just saw them get run. But yeah, I thought the men's game, the fans, the seeing Melo there, I really, like, I did not think Dwayne Wade was a particularly good announcer. I didn't find him objectively bad either. He just was very dull, but it was cool having LeBron on the court and Wade in the booth and Melo on the sideline thinking about that draft class and how much they've meant to the game of basketball and how their ambassadors of the sport in different ways at this point and LeBron's still out there playing. But those, you know, those three guys, I mean, I guess they're missing Chris Bosch and Darko to complete the top five. But those guys, the banana boat lads, it's cool seeing them all in different capacities, but at that event, you know, in their own way. Yeah, I mean, I think, however, we are in correction summer, we're in the Super Friends era of the NBA, not only Villanova, but like, these guys are like connected in a way where if you were USA basketball, you'd be like, okay, we got Wade in the booth, like, we need to get Carmelo, like, on the sidelines. You know, like, he needs to be visible because he is our international ambassador. He's one of the greatest international players his country has produced. And like, his story is like so interesting, he's doing that show with Miro, he's trying to find moments of viral content, but it's not quite working. He is trying to be a player outside or he is trying to create a brand outside of being a player and it's really weird to watch because however excellent he was in New York, like, he wasn't that popular. This is, he certainly is a star and people love them, but people didn't like the way he came to the team. People didn't like the fact that they weren't perennial winners. And then this whole Jeremy Lin thing happened and people still talk about that. Maybe I still talk about that. Hmm, I know one person does for sure. Yeah, I mean, any Lin fan would talk about it. I don't even think it's true, but I was also around that time and there was a little bit of tension. But anyway, you know, it's sort of like when the Mavs brought everyone back from the championship team in Game 3 and it felt really cool and the NBA is doing a good job of that, I think. Well, I think Melo has had an interesting trajectory where everyone's kind of landed in the same place, which is nice. You know, he came out of Syracuse as the winner, instead of going to the Pistons where he may have won titles right away, he ended up with a career where he didn't, you know, make it to the finals. He was so good on Denver and, you know, that has kind of defined him in a way that would not have happened if he had gone to the Pistons perhaps. But regardless, as you said, there was the King in New York, he was, I think, third maybe an All-Star, an MVP voting that year, had 54 wins, I believe, and toasted the town, but then people tired of him and then, you know, he played out his days kind of begging to stay in the league. Yeah. You know, he wanted to keep playing. He was blackball, then he came back, then he was on Portland and, you know, he floated around trying to stick in the league, because, and maybe this is the same reason, you know, he was an investor in vice sports. He is at basketball games. He's at the playoffs. He's at the Olympics. Like, he just, it's like marriage of the game. And marriage of the game. He just wants to be involved. He wants to be around basketball, his kids' play ball. He wants to be there watching the games. He just loves this shit. And it's almost like Ray-gun, what are you going to be? Mad at Ray-gun? Ray-gun just wants to break dance. Melov just loves basketball. He wants to be around it. He wants to be tied to it, even though he can't still play it on the level he did. But I think we've now embraced him as this ambassador of the game, and also one of the very rare players who's actually cool. I agree with that. But I'm just going to pose the opposition to that, maybe. But he forced to trade to New York, not because New York was a good organization. That was the dark ages of New York basketball at MSG. But he forced to trade specifically to James Dolan, because he wanted to be in business. He was an entrepreneur. He kind of saw himself as bigger than the game, because LeBron was as well, right? Like his best friend had set up all of these incredible businesses, and Melov wanted to be an investor in startups. He wanted to create content. He wanted to be involved in fashion. He wanted to be around parties, and clubs, and GQ Magazine, and all that stuff. And it's a little bit of a try-hard move, right? Because in the end, in New York, I remember him as a prolific, filthy scorer, obviously better than a run-of-the-mill Jason Tatum. But not that much. He falls into that category. So as a basketball head, I'm just like, "Well, of that era, Tyson Chandler is my guy, blue collar, whatever," defensive quarterback. But Melov proceeded to re-sign with the Knicks, and just kind of take up airspace, and take up runway, to the point where I'm just like, "He's not that interesting. I've listened to hours of his podcast. His companies aren't that thrilling if I can even name what he's invested in right now." And he, aside from the amazing hats, like, he is not a very compelling dude. He's Jadakis. We respect him. He is part of the fabric of New York culture at this point. But he's no camera. But it's almost like, Melo is cool in a way that most basketball players are not, which I think is why he's so beloved. But it also doesn't, it's jock-cool. It doesn't necessarily correspond with being a great podcaster. Or... The coolest. You know? Because that's a different breed. That's what they're saying. But, that's kind of cool. I mean, the private dicks could only dream of. I don't want to break out my hot dog legs and say, "Things are not cool just for the sake of it." But like, Carmelo Anthony isn't cool. And I hear your point. He's jock-cool. He's not even step foot in Hell Square number 15. But there's a lot of cool jocks in the NBA. Carmelo Anthony is so successful, can someone that successful be cool? Maybe. Out of Syracuse, he certainly was one of the more interesting cultural dudes. Like he was awesome. But he ends up just being a businessman, right? Is he a successful businessman? Is he a businessman? Well, his story is certainly not done so. I mean, it's pretty done. Like, no way. Like, he's going to do some other shit. He's going to start up like a sports company, right? Weirdly, I remember hearing a rumor a couple years ago, maybe a year and a half ago, that he was investing in yet another basketball facility in Greenpoint, which is weird because there is one that opened up the post where cookies classic number one took place. But he was going to invest in another one. Like the basketball district of New York City. In Greenpoint, I mean, with all the colossal billboards and French restaurants out at the CMT, I mean, why not? more basketball the better, right? But isn't Luodang more interesting than Carmella? Like he's cool. And richer, Jesus Christ. - You know what else? It's cool and richer. - Luodang and this pod. - This pod? 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