(clapping) ♪ Get ready ♪ ♪ We're going viral ♪ - It sounds so quiet. - It does. Hurry up, Red. ♪ Get ready ♪ ♪ We're going viral ♪ - We're not. (upbeat music) - Hello everyone and welcome back to another installment of the viral podcast. I'm your host, Chelt C. Lynn. - I'm your host, Paige Jin. - And we got the boys with us today. Look at them over there. Greg and Brad. - Welcome. Hello, I guess they don't know what's speaking. - Oh, so they're not speaking this episode at all. They're both very quiet. Say hi. - Hello everyone. - You gotta speak into your mic. (laughing) - This is starting out so good already. (laughing) - Hello everyone. - Hello. - Hello. - Thank you all for having me. - Thank you for being here. - Thank you for being here. - Thank you for everyone clicking in and being on the YouTube and just clicking, clacking and loving. We got the 10 minute timer starting. Chelt C's getting it going right now so we're not gonna swear for 10 minutes so we can hopefully get monetized. - Well. - Well, we won't. - Anyway, but it's just a fun game. It's just a fun game. - Why do we get age restricted all the time? - Just 'cause we say things. - Oh, those things we can't say. - Yeah, and I'd rather say them than not. So that's what I'm gonna do. - Yeah, that's how I live my life. ♪ I live my life on the road ♪ ♪ I do it 'cause I love the fans ♪ ♪ That's why I'm here today ♪ - Good times. ♪ I got that old time and rock you roll ♪ - Hey, you're gonna get demonetized. - Oh, well, is that? - Well, we're always-- - Copy right. - We're always scared of getting demonetized but we're not monetized. So I don't know what we're scared of. - We do have some ads. - But my brain is-- - Not a YouTube. - No, you guys do. - No, we do. - I didn't know that, so. - Oh, dude, more leaky. - More leaky. - More leaky. - More ad-y. - Oh, billier. - More sticky. - Greg, say more leaky. - More leaky. (laughing) - Good job, Greg. - Good job, Greg. - Good job. - Are we trying to get a sponsorship from like Mickey's, more liquor? - Oh, that'd be awesome. - I used to love Mickey's. - We're trying to get a malt stick sponsor. - Didn't even know that existed. But can I just say Brett, great job on the button so far. - Thank you. - Yeah, you're doing great. (buzzer ringing) Yeah. You're doing great. - Thank you. - Don't get your finger sore though. - Okay. - Yeah, don't get your finger sore. - It's good thing it's my left finger 'cause my right index is still kind of injured. - Okay, have you been soaking it in ips and salt? - Brett. - You gotta speak? - No, I haven't. - You said mm-hmm, no, I have it. - Isn't it funny that some people talk like that? - Yeah, my sister Ashley does it. You'll ask her something and she'll go what? And then, but she heard you and she'll respond. - 'Cause is she processing the question before she answers so she says what? - Maybe, I don't know why she does it. She's done it all her life with a what and then she'll answer right, like what? - So you don't, when she says what, you don't even say it again, you just wait? - Sometimes, yeah. - Mostly. - She'll go what? But she actually heard you. - Mm-hmm, interesting. - Yeah. - Very interesting. - Yeah. - Okay, well, do you wanna do something? - Yeah. - You gotta do like a... - Whoa! - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. - All right. - Should we start out with the boys? - Yeah, boys, do you guys wanna start out with the love hate? - Go ahead, Greg. - Y'all gotta speak this out of me. - Oh, Lee, are you guys okay? - Hey, no, no, I'm just an awe. - Of what? - Like this amazing opportunity. - Greg, stop being dumb. - Don't stop! - What are you talking about? - Just being here with y'all. I feel like I'm on another level. Like I've transcended levels. - Do you feel like you're on Joe Rogan or something? - I do. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Okay. - Mothership. - Yeah. - Oh, I wanna go to the mothership so bad. - We'll go, honeys. I'll take you to the mothership. - Where's the daddy's ship? - Right here, I'm at my legs. - Actually, I feel like I'm in Jimmy Jones. - Oh, yeah, Jimmy Jones podcast. - I've been watching a lot of old Ricky Lake full episodes on YouTube. I love YouTube 'cause you can watch full episodes of stuff we watched as kids. - Right? - That is good. - And Ricky Lake is good. - Where the Donahue show is kind of awesome. - Yes! - Phil Donahue. - Yes! Phil Donahue. - Hey, can we take a little bit of time to name a couple of talk show hosts that we would watch when we were younger? - Maybe that if that could be your love. - And also, we just did. - But yeah, maybe talk more. - But you all lift up, Marie Pulvitch. - Yeah, we did. - Son of a. - All right, we're doing love, hey. So Greg, give us something you love. - I love trashy talk shows. - Okay. - Yeah. - You got it talking, yeah. - Yeah, you know, hey, he came around and he banged my sister behind the trailer at the old Lucky Lou. Yeah, yeah, that stuff like that. - Good job. - Yeah. - I love flexing my pecs. - Okay. I wish I could kind of do that. I can't. - Can you imagine if I did it and just the boobs just went up and down, up and down. - Hitting you in the face. - That'd be awesome. - You could get waves going, dude, with yours. If you were in a pool and could do that, you could get some sort of friction. - Yeah. All right, something I love. Animals. - That's cute. They are just so-- (buzzer) - Thank you, Greg. - Here. - That's a very blanket. That's a very big. But animals make me happy emotionally. And not just my dogs. Yes, my dogs, but just animals. You know, we see a lot of wild turkey around here. And every time I see one, my heart just fills with joy, yeah. - Oh, dude, I-- - Squared. - Oh, nice. - That was good, right? - I have a Pinterest list and it's just called animals. And I have uploaded strangers' animals and, of course, all my friends. - You have a-- - Is that weird that I uploaded strangers' animals? - No. - Okay. - Do you have a top three of animals? Like you're up your top three? - Just all of them. - All of them. - I'm talking about in general, baby. Yeah. - Well, I was just curious what your top three are 'cause I think I could possibly name them. (buzzer) - Well, wait for our games. - That's funny 'cause we have a game. So just wait for-- - No, wait. - We'll have a game for you later. - Okay. - Just wait. - I'm looking forward to it. - Okay. - Heck yeah, we're players. - And by the way, so. - Yeah. - Okay. - And my love is I love being tan. - Okay. - But dude, it sucks when that tan goes away, huh? - Good summer go. Those are good. - I'm always pilling. - So you like tanning, but do you like the process of it? - Greg, if you don't put your damn-- - Oh, we need to get-- - It doesn't matter. - It doesn't matter. - You gotta put your hole near the mic. - Okay. All right. I'm just trying to-- - You're a foot back from it. - No, I'm trying not to create sounds with my back 'cause it's gonna fart. - I'm just gonna fart against the chair. - He's on strict rules not to move. - You can move. - He's locked in. - Yeah, you can bend your freaking back, dude. Lean forward. - Okay. - Greg, get close to my eyes. - Let's do a handcuff episode or you-- - I'll do that again. - This is gonna be a long episode. Okay, let's do that. - Sorry, hold on. - Shh, shh, shh. - Your neck, bring it down. - Okay. - Lower. - Closer to the mic. - A little closer. - A little closer. - His prongs are broke. - Not talk. - Okay. - Hey, everyone. - Oh, so much better, dude. - I'm telling you, people in their cars or listening, whatever, they're not gonna be able to hear you. - Okay. - Clearly. - I'm gonna lean in like this. - Great. - Lean in, let it rock, let it. - Yes. - And if I see you up again, talking like this, two feet from the mic, I'm gonna lose my damn mind. - Okay, please don't lose your mind. - Do we need that headset immediately? - Yes. - Okay, Greg, what's your hate? - A lot of greats hat, sorry. - Do you hate leaning forward? - Well, I hate too many orders and restrictions. - How can people feel like you're a non-order? - I mean, y'all have presented me with a ton. - I think it's this. - No, already? - It's me? - I think it's this. - Oh, no, 'cause of the rules? - Yup, it didn't mean at the time. - Oh, no. - I mean, Chelsea, we're fricking like eight minutes in and you pissed? - I pissed, I pissed. Yeah, and I'm crying also. - I'm sorry. - I'm crying also on Pymone. - Because we have given Greg. (laughing) - Tells me, we've been yelling at Greg the whole time. - Oh, thanks so much. (laughing) - Why do we see him? - Why, why, why, why, why, why? - You need to get your, your-- - Hey, y'all, doesn't that wig, do you? - Listen, Greg, listen, here's why I'm laughing. (laughing) - He's on the frickin' roast. (laughing) - I can't stop, I can't stop. - Not the troll. - She wants you so tough, she wants you so tough. - Dang, I need to do the full on water part. - We have given Greg. - Hell. - So many. (laughing) - Yes, she's smart, there's a lot of rules. - We haven't given Greg so many rules. - I know, man, I'm being my-- - He's a ruler. - I mean, I'm, yeah, I feel like I'm already in London with all the ruling going on, you know? - Oh, not it. - You know what I mean? - Oh, I do. - We haven't given him. - You're 12 inches. - You're 12 inches. - You're 12 inches. - So many rules, when this podcast before it started-- - But it's a podcast and you're supposed to talk like directly into your mic. - We have given you first off before the podcast started. - We said we gotta move, we gotta change Greg's chair 'cause he's gonna be squeaking 'cause he moves. - Well, Maggie, we have a little Maggie too though. - So we moved the chair, we switched chairs. Before we started we said, Greg, don't move 'cause you're gonna be squeaking and pissing us off. And then we said, don't talk to me. - No talking. - We told him not to talk too much 'cause he talks a lot. We said, talk, give everybody equal amount, you know, to talk. We gave him this rule, that rule, this rule. - So now he doesn't even know who he is. - So that's why he's overstepping, not talking. - Freaking. - And I have-- - And I have-- - And I have pee. - Yeah, so, Pop Pad? - Oh. - We need to start diapering you up. - Can I just say, usually when we film, I wear a pad but I thought I'll be good today. The guys aren't gonna make me laugh. - Mm-hmm. - And? - And I peeed. - Waffy Taffy. - Ooh, the whole pants. Are you gonna show or what? - No. - Show the toe, baby girl. - It's quite a bit, it's quite a bit, it's quite a bit. - Okay, so, something we hate. - Oh, fuck you, motherfucker. Greg, you gotta say fuck you. - To the guy that made Chelsea's urethra a week, fuck you. - Fuck you. - Fuck you. - I thought we couldn't cuss. - We'll attempt him when I told her when I saw fuck you. - Oh, that was a rule, I was sneeing. - Oh, that was another rule. - I thought we could because-- - Okay, so what are your, I'm curious. - Oh my God. - So, what are your questions? - I'm gonna-- - Fuck you. Okay, so, but my question is, is do y'all feel like y'all can get monetized if you don't cuss the first 10 minutes because they only watch the first 10 minutes? - Well, because it's probably the whole thing. - To YouTube thing. - Okay. - They do say the first 10 minutes, but come on now. With all this AI and whatnot, they could type in probably fuck and it could go throughout the whole episode and they could demonetize us. We just, it's kind of turned into a little segment. It's not, we're not even worried about the monetization, we say that, it's just turned into a segment. - Okay. - It's a game we play on. - Yeah, the investor says what we can say, what we want on them. - Wrong podcast. - Yeah. - Wrong podcast. - Yeah, this is not trailer tales. - He forgot who he was. - Yeah, great, well, yeah. Okay, so what's something you hate? - I hate. - You've had 10 minutes to think about it. - I know, that's what's funny. - I had something to say and I forgot. - I hate. - I know what you hate. - No, he's going, what does he hate? - He hates, he hates sharp tweezers in between the cushions of a couch. - It's too detailed. - Thank you, Greg. I don't think, have I talked about that at all? I got stabbed. - He poked his finger. - With two large knives. - It was tweezers, Brett, but they were very sharp. - They're in the couch. - And it's been three and a half weeks. - Okay, something I hate. - Thanks Greg. - Something I hate. Something that should be a two-minute segment, y'all turn into a 20-minute segment. - Yeah, I probably helped. - No, it was vids now. - Okay. - Okay, something I hate. - Yeah, I'm talking to you guys. - Sorry about that y'all. - What is it? - Granola. - Okay, on parfaits and yogurts and stuff? Okay, all granola. - Yeah. - Even granola bars. - Yeah. - Okay. - But especially loose granola. - So you hate like crunchy oatmeal. - Correct. - Okay. Oh gosh. All right, that was a good one. 'Cause you just don't like chonks. - All right. - Ground square. All right, I hate feeling rushed. I do not like feeling rushed at all. - Okay. - That's me. So there's that and-- - Good, that those were good. - Thanks guys. Good job will move on. - No, I'm feeling Russian. - Good job everybody. - Well, thank you. - Good job. Good job everybody. Now I am gonna do a little break. Could you get the have you heard music going on for me? I've got some things that have been going on in the world and I just wanna know if you guys have heard. Can you turn down? - Have we heard what? - Well, let me tell ya. A stegosaurus skeleton becomes the most expensive fossil ever sold at auction. It sold for 11 times the estimated sale price. A stegosaurus skeleton nicknamed Apex has broken the world record to become the most expensive fossil ever sold after being put up for sale at Sotheby's. It was billed as the largest and most complete stegosaurus ever to be found and put up for sale. The armored dinosaur had been left undisturbed for around 150 million years prior to his discovery by fossil hunter, Jason Cooper, who made the find after clocking an enormous femur bone and dorsal plate sticking out of the ground during a May 2022 birthday walk on his private ranch in Colorado. It took Cooper and his team two full summers to evacuate the rocky site. But in the end, keep breaking your heart down just a little bit. In the end, their labors paid off with the ground yielding 254 of the roughly 319 bones that make up a complete stegosaurus. - Only 319. - Let's see. - This whole thing seems sus. - Well, listen to this, it went up for sale and five minutes later, the auctioneers gavel fell, marking the end of a seven-way bidding war that saw apex the stegosaurus sell for a grand total of, take a quick guess, one word. One billion dollars, Brett, Greg. - Quarter of a million. I'll go a mill. - Okay, went for a, Beth? - Five million. - Five million. Went for a whopping $44.6 million to an anonymous buyer who had paid 11 times the $6 million estimate. Following the sale, the buyer who has since been identified as billionaire side-ale hedge fund founder, Ken Griffin. And I watched the full five to seven-minute auction of this and it is-- - Money, ridiculous money. - Oh yeah, but honestly, I think if I was a billionaire, I'd buy something cool like this. - Longer money. - $44 fricking million. - And they thought it would go for $6 million and it went for $44. And towards the end, it was between two people and they were going back and forth. Of course they were on phones with the Sotheby's people, but it was interesting to watch $44 million. - $44 million, really. - Staying sources are pretty hot. - That's that if you money. - Remember when me and Greg told you dinosaurs weren't real? - Yeah, and I was like, what are you talking about? - We're like, they aren't. - Yeah, if it was real, it'd have much more than 319 bones. - If it was real, they wouldn't be auctioning it off. - Correct, it would go to the Smithsonian. If it was real, they would destroy it. - It would be real fake. - All right, next little thing up here. Theodore Roosevelt's pocket watch was stolen in 1987 and it's finally back at his New York home. The Silver Pocket Watch was a prized possession of Theodore Roosevelt, a keepsake given to him by his sister and her husband in 1898. Before he became president, that would travel with him around the world and end up at Sagamore Hill, his home on Long Island, New York, now a national historic site. But in 1987, it went from museum piece to a Pifford Prize, I can't read that. When someone stole it from an unlocked case at the Theodore Roosevelt National Historic Site in Buffalo, New York, where it was on loan, it was a mystery for 36 years until it wound up at a Florida auction house last year and was seized by federal agents. On Thursday, it was returned to Sagamore Hill, blah, blah, blah, blah. Roosevelt's grandson tweeted they were so happy it's back. So who took it? Why'd they have it for so long and why did it end up there? How crazy is that? - So what you're saying is a Pifford Prize, like pilfering is like stealing. - Oh, pilford, okay, okay, yeah, you're right. - Smart, smart, okay, so... - Yeah, that's it. - I would be the type of person that come across something that was like millions of dollars and just not even know the value of it. - Well, you know how often I antique and yard sale and stuff like that. - So that's what I'm saying. I'm always like, I'm walking probably past millions and trillions of dollars. - Oh, I often wonder how many items have I just passed up that is like an ancient Egypt freakin'. It's so interesting. - Or picked up. - Yeah. - And put it back down, damn. - One more, pancake syrup with bizarre warning label leaves shopper stunned, says keep away from tractor. A shopper posted a photo of a maple syrup bottle with a strange warning label. Do not freeze and keep away from tractor and sun. Read the front of the container. A Reddit discussion, the comments were filled with many jokes until finally one Redditor who professed to be fluent in Arabic pointed out that the label was a result of a translation error. Apparently it was an Arabic brand. Translation error and was not in fact a warning about driving under the influence of pancake toppings. There was a dot that shouldn't be there in Arabic. Another person wrote that the translator went for a typo basically. So it means keep away from heat, not tractors, but it said keep away from tractors. - A little dot can do a lot. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Eric, Arabic. - There you go. - Dot can do a lot, baby. - Especially when you're on your dot. - Yup. - Dot can do a lot. - Dot, dot, koochie shot. - Exactly. - Dot, clap, clap, baby. - Exactly. - Exactly. - Do nothing worse than being on your dot. - Yeah. - No. - No, maybe if it had contained the stench of rot. - It does that after sometimes. I woke up in a puddle the other day. - No, don't say dot and rot and puddle. - I truly woke up in a puddle. - Did Brett clean it? - No, it's just still sitting in my hallway and on a blanket. - Did you have a pot pad in the bed so you didn't mess up your mattress? - No. - So have you messed your mattress? - Yeah, I bought a brand new mattress and I'm like, okay, I need to buy a mattress cover before my freaking period. And already that month it was like a little dot got on there. It's not completely ruined, but there is already one dot and I'm like, dang, it's like when you get a phone and you're like, I don't need a case. - Gotcha. - And shattered. - Yeah, you don't want your mattress looking like somebody cooks spaghetti in your bed. - Right, 'cause it's in your bedroom, not the kitchen. - I already have a blanket that looks like somebody made a big ol' pot of spaghetti, but now-- - Hey, honey, stop bleeding everywhere. - With or without meatballs? - No meatballs, but I made it into an art project for my friends that come over since the blanket's ruined. I want everyone to draw a picture on the blanket with these fabric markers I have and make it just a cool art blanket. Cover up the blood or spaghetti. - Oh, I'm gonna stay home. - No, you're gonna stay drawn. - When you come over. - Okay. - Maybe. - Maybe. - I wonder if you scotch-brotted your mattress if that would help. - Not enough. - What's scotch-brotted? - Scotch-brite? - Scotch-brite. - What's that? - It's like that spray you spray on shoes that's supposed to help like dirt stay off it and stuff. - Okay, and that blue spray bill. - You know what, Greg, you have been very, a little stiff and a little quiet this episode. - Loosen up and Brad, hit it. We're gonna give Greg a minute. - Oh, okay. - Going forward, Greg. - Greg, lean forward, Greg. - Ready? - You're gonna lean forward, Greg. Here we go. - Let's do this. - It's your time to shine, okay? - So. - Lean forward. - Not yet. - Okay, Greg. - Can't even hear. - Lean forward. - Yup. - So I'm here and back to talking about scotch-brite. I was actually watching this video about this additive that they would use and mix up and spread on like backpacks, shoes and things of that. And it was basically, you could walk through mud and you just rinse it off. It doesn't get your shoe wet. It doesn't, you know, stain it or anything. So I thought that was pretty cool. And maybe one day, all four of us could do a little project together. I don't know, does that sound cool? Maybe we could actually get you a blanket page and coat it and that way you don't ever mess a blanket hip again. So that's my thought on that. And then we were talking about dinosaurs. Well, what's y'all's favorite dinosaur, if in fact they are real? I would go with possibly the Triceratops. Yeah, so I'm interested in that. - Brett, the shoe dad, time's up, lean back. - All right, good job, Greg. - Okay, so shoes and... - And what's okay with dinosaur? - I'm like a little T-Rex. I like the little arms 'cause I can relate. I do this a lot. - Yeah, yeah. I wanna say any dinosaur that's huge. - 'Kay. - 'Cause you can relate. - 'Cause I can relate, 'cause I can relate. - Yeah. - No, if a dinosaur is small, 'cause some dinosaurs are the size of us, I'm not gonna be impressed with you. - If you're not a small little kid. - If you're a five foot dinosaur. - Yeah, get go. - I'm not impressed. - Yeah. - I wanna see something as big as a trailer house. I wanna see something so big that I'm an ant to it. - Yeah. - So you're not a Velocio Raptor fan. - No, I would enjoy one, I would appreciate one, but I'm not gonna be, what's it called when you're in? I'm not gonna be impressed. - So you wanna get down on that Bronosaurus? - I wanna get the biggest one. - Do you seem like you'd be a nice T-Rex? - Thank you. - Yeah. - I want a big one. - Let's look up the biggest dinosaur. Or do we already know? - I don't know. - I would bet that it's the Bronosaurus. - It's a Megalodon. - I don't know. - Is that the one with the long neck? - Yeah, long neck, long tail. - Those are beautiful. - Yeah. - That's the brachiosaurus. - Whoa. - Brad, don't do that little noise again. - The puffer fish. - Don't do the puffer fish. - It sounds like he's farting in his mouth and then it comes out his nose. - The titanosaur, titanosaur. - Okay. - It has like a tit in it. - Oh. - How big is your dinosaur? I'll tell you how big mine is. - Brad, how big is your dinosaur? - I don't know yet. I'm looking. - The titanosaur, Patigottetan Maorum, is a big deal, literally. The biggest dinosaur that scientists have discovered to date, so this long neck plant eating dinosaur lived over 100 million years. - How tall? - And what is now, Patigonia, Argentina. - How tall? - It's not even sand, so it's like. - Lenses 42 feet tall. - Which one was yours? - Brachio? - No, you said Magledon. - Oh, I said that at first, I changed it. - I will say this, I also love woolly mammoths. And, you know, when we aren't one we're on tour, me and Biffy will stop at museums. We are museum hoes, isn't that right, Biffy? And the first time I saw a woolly mammoth, we were in, God, where were we, Beth? - Montana? - Yeah. - Montana? - South Dakota. - South Dakota, I got emotional. - Yeah, I'm crying on him. - I didn't cry, but I was just like, wow. There's so much that we don't know, number one. There's so much, it's just, I don't know, it's just weird. To think that they lived 100 million, that's a long-ass time. - If you hear typing, it's Brett's finger. - It's Brett's finger. - It's probably. - I just got a little emotional, I'm like, wow. - That is, that is something. And then you've got to think, dang, is even what I'm reading? Is this frickin' woolly mammoth even? - Oh, absolutely. - Hey. - You're Pat, I go tight and it's only 20 feet tall. - Say strange. - Why would it say that, it's the biggest one? - Just do better. - What about my brontosaurus? - Look, that one up. - I'm gonna do it on my phone. - Jaimie, look it up. - Do you think that Megaladon's are dinosaurs? - Are they in the ocean, Megaladon? - Yeah, that's the humongous great white, right? - Yeah, oh yeah, there's ocean dinosaurs for sure. Which, by the way-- - Oh, yes. - Wanna let y'all know? - I'm stoked. - When we go to South Africa in a couple weeks-- - Oh my gosh, I'm so-- - I booked us, we're going to cage dive with great whites. It's booked and everything. - Yes, we are, so-- - Page. - You're about to be 30. - I know, dirty, 30. - Yeah. - Isn't that wild? I'm excited to celebrate with you. - It is wild, like you feel some sort of way, you know? You're like, dang, I'm 29, like-- - You don't feel 30. - Just, and it's just the last year in your 20s and it's just a weird feeling, almost. You're like, okay, a whole new chapter. It's like, should you go like that with age, you know? Like, chapters or you just go with the flow. - It's wild 'cause I can remember when I was 29. I moved from Texas to California. - Greg, you're seeing that that was yesterday? - I know, it goes by so fast, you know? - And when you're thinking like, this is my next little chapter, I'm gonna be third of the loot livin' in. - So, I thought it was the head, the opportunity to be life-changing and open up a new door and opportunity. - What, moving to San Diego? - Yeah. - Yeah, but, you know, Chelsea and I both agreed upon, hey, you know, it's opportunity you can't pass up. You've got to take. And so, we both, you know-- - Well, he spent his 29th birthday in, or 30th birthday in San Diego, and I was still livin' in Dallas 'cause I hadn't quite made the move yet. So, you spent your 30th birthday bar hopin' and it seemed like it was yesterday and you're about to turn 41. - Right. - That's insane. - Yeah, I partied hard on my 29th with my friend Chris and another guy and lost my wallet the next morning I woke up, laying on his couch, his wife walks in, and she's like, what is that? Smell, yeah, it was the smell of stench. It was me. - You do keep butted on the couch a lot. - No, it was just sweat and puke and just awfulness. - Sounds awesome. - You know, debauchery. - And the toilet or on the couch or what? - Oh, no. There's videos of me in the driveway on some cardboard and they're washing me off with the water hose. - Oh, that's hilarious. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's-- - Squirt the-- - You've got the driveway. - Basically, they say we're gonna wash you into your 30s. - Awesome, awesome. - Well, it is time for a new little segment that we are calling, do you know? ♪ Do you know? ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ - Okay, I love underboob. ♪ I love underboob ♪ - Right, so that's where I love hate, okay? Okay, so here's what we're gonna do. It's you two, you are going against each other. - Okay. - Now, only answer, and Paige will ask questions about her. Y'all have to answer, and then it'll be my turn. I'll ask questions about me till you get the answer. - Okay. - Only answer if you know the answer. Don't just blurt something out. It has to be correct. - Okay, so let me ask, is there like a buzzer that we have to push, or be like raise our hand? - I guess you guys could press a buzzer, but we could throw you ours. - Yeah, you wouldn't do that. - If you don't. - Yeah, what do y'all think? - Yeah, let's try it. It's up to y'all, y'all. This is y'all show. - Do you think they can do it without-- - Buzzer, or just yelling it out? - They're pretty easy. - I guess we can do buzzer. - Okay, don't buzz if you don't know it, is what I'm saying. - Okay, here's my buzzer, Greg. - That's correct. - Greg's the type of person that he won't know the answer, but he'll just go, Greg. - Well, I can't move him stiff, my cord, sorry. No, it's okay. I should've caught it. It's gonna be a tough one. - I'm gonna roll it. - Okay, we're giving them our buzzers. - Buzzer. - It still works. - Hello. - And welcome to the Moo Moo commercials. - Are you guys feeling a little more leaky lately? - A little stress, little, little just more ix, more licks and need more clicks. Thankfully, we have Vaya Hemp Gummies to carry us throughout the day. Vaya Hemp offers THC or non- THC free gummies. - And y'all know I'm all about that non-THC. Paige likes a THC, I don't. Thankfully, they've got something for everybody. - And the best part, Vaya legally ships to all 50 states in discrete packaging directly to your door with a worry-free guarantee. No medical card required, wow. - And if you don't like gummies, they also offer soothing topicals, calming drops, and flour. - Oh, most ix. - Trusted by over half a million happy customers for their wellness needs. - Vaya is the brand everyone's raving about. So if you're 21 or older, check out our link to Vaya's website in our description for 15% off. - Their products range from zero milligrams to 100 milligrams of THC. So these guys have you covered. Vaya Hemp Gummies are made in the USA farmed and crafted with care. - If you're 21 or older, check out the link to Vaya in our description and use the code viral to receive 15% off. After you purchase, they ask you, what you heard about 'em? Please support the show and tell 'em we sent ya. Enhance your everyday with Vaya. - Kay, do you know? - Okay. - Kay, that was a good toss, that was me. You know, it touches your hand, you should catch that bad boy. - Thank you, Greg. - Yeah. - Kay, are you guys ready? - I'll go first. - All right. - Paige is going first. - The first game of do you know? All right, do you know my favorite candy? (buzzer) - Brett. - Smarties. - Yeah. Nice. Do you know my-- - Hold on, hold on. - Hold on, we put on my headphones. - Yeah, and you don't have to do that every time, and I will call who buzzes first. - Kay. - So you can see. - Yeah. - All right. - 'Cause I think I think I was first. - You were not. - You weren't, you were split second off. Do you know my favorite breakfast? (buzzer) - Greg. - Chick-fil-A. - Oh my gosh, dude. - Correct. (cheering) - Good job, Greg. - Good job, Greg. - Question number three. - Greg, get your hand on me. - Yeah, what are you doing? Act like you're on Family Feud. Do you know-- - I can't see. - I can't see. (laughing) - Brett, pre, close, so she can't see it. - Brett, can't mess the button with his little tan apparently. - I'm not fast enough. - You got it. - My right's hiding my boobs. - Let's go. - This is crazy. All right, question number three. Do you know where I was born? (buzzer) - Greg. - Dude, he's just-- - Okay, get your bill. - No, no. - Yes, Brett. - California. - Yep, Brett got it. - Greg got it. - All right, question number four. Do you know what I like to look for at the-- (buzzer) - Greg, Greg. - Greg, you guys are pressing before the, I even answered the question. - Brett, let's say you have one. - You gotta stop, when he presses it, you gotta stop. - Hold on, listen. - This is why I thought the buzzers would be about it. - I'm sorry. - It's exactly why. - Sorry, sorry. - 'Cause I knew you'd buzz before. - Come on, buzz Aldering. You guys have to wait until I'm done. - Okay, sorry. - And Brett, you're backing into the wall. - Okay. - Yeah, you let's be calm down and take a breath. Everyone breathes for one second. (buzzer) - I have to be on my game because you should know these. - Yes. - But calm down. - This is so out of control, this whole episode. - Here we go, here we go. - Okay, back to question four. Do you know what I like to look for at the beach? (buzzer) - Brett. - Oh, sand dollars. - Correct. - Yeah. - Okay. - All right. Do you know my favorite color? (buzzer) - Brett. - Green. - Correct. All right, question number six. Do you know my favorite vegetable? (buzzer) - Greg. - Cucumber. - Nope. - Broccoli. - Correct. (buzzer) - Thank you, Brett knows me. Question number seven. Do you know my favorite sport to watch? (buzzer) - Greg. - Basketball. - Correct. - You're finishing the sentence. - He did buzz. - Your favorite sport and then you're all to watch. - You do need to wait to finish, Greg. - Oh, okay. Excuse the number. (buzzer) - Well, no need to get a-- - Don't get mad. No, he always gets mad because he's gonna get beat. He can't handle losing. Don't y'all know this? - You did that. - I've been around. - Okay. - You gotta play fair. - Brett, don't be hating, motherfucker. I'm bust your ass. - Dude, this is just, do you know? Listen, you know. - Yeah. - Okay. - What do we win? - Hey, the prize is nothing. - Okay, all right, then I'm gonna relax. (laughing) - There we go. - All right, question number eight. Do you know my favorite TV show? (buzzer) - Greg. - This is on YouTube. - I don't think Greg knows it even though he buzzed it. - Yeah, Greg, that's the, that's the issue. (laughing) - Oh, you gotta know. You've gotta know. - Yeah, fuck, do you know? This ain't, do you guess? - Oh, my bad. - I said it five times at the beginning. - Well, I just figured it out. - Too late, eh? - ISP. - Brett. - Brett. - Kill Tony. - Good job, correct? - I knew that. - All right. - Missed with me. - Of course. - Y'all really trying to get him to win. - No, we're not. - Do you like him? - No, we're not. - What you mean? - No, we're not. - Dude, this is hurting my heart, y'all. - No, we just want it to be fair. Just wait till after the question, so we're not all over talking each other. - I know, we're good. - Yeah, we're good. - Yeah, I'm having a great time, y'all. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - Can I come back next time? - We'll see. - Okay. - Okay, question number nine. If do you know, what is my favorite sonic drink? - Cherry Limeade with sweet cream. - Correct. - All right, good to go. - She didn't say you were first, Brett. - Is it my turn? - It was my turn. - I'm on my last question. - Here we go. - How many has Brett got right, like nine and then Greg won? - Nine. - Okay, Greg got two, I think. - I've gotten two. - That wasn't a question. All right, okay, question number 10. What is my favorite fruit? - Greg. - Greg. - See if you don't-- - Mango. - Correct. - Nice. - How about hell? (cheering) - Nice job. - I'm sorry, I'm a little scared to y'all. - Okay, that's great. - Good job, Greg. - I don't know that I'm gonna do very good, Chelsea. - What? - I'm worried. - Oh, why? - He might know you better. - What the hell? - There ain't no way, Brett. - No, there ain't no way. - Okay, get ready, here's Chelsea's ready. - Get ready. - I don't even need her paired, he doesn't know. - Yeah, I'm gonna give him a chance. - Oh! Listen, Paige, you gotta watch their hands. - Let me go first every time. - Yeah, I'll let him go first every time. - You wanna try? - No, let's play. - Okay, we'll play for real. - Okay. - Give him like a second heads up. - Okay. - Brett, Paige is watching y'all. - Okay. - Y'all ready? This is me, Chelsea going. - What is my bra size? (buzzer buzzes) - Brett. - 46 G. - What? - Yeah, oh my God. - Did you know that, Greg? - No, is this good on the episode? - Probably. - Perfect. - How do you know that? - How do you know that? - I've seen your bras. - What the hell? - You're a pervert. - Oh, dude. - Dude, that is fucking creepy. - That is weird. - That's the creepy. Dude, you're always, you're always topless. - That's the creepiest thing anybody's ever said to me. - Did you go through the tags to do what size they are? - No, I can see 'em. - Probably gonna make it songs or something. - The tags are this big, Brett. - Okay, here we go. - That was great. - Ready? - What the hell, bro? - Ready? Next question. Where is my favorite place to eat? (buzzer buzzes) Greg. - I-40. - No. (buzzer buzzes) - Brett. - Didn't I fun? - Yes. - You! - Oh, shit. It is. (buzzer buzzes) - That's what we want to mind, too. So fucking good. - Good job, bro. - So two at a zero. - Maybe I should let Greg go first. - No, let's play it real. - 'Cause we know, come on, 'cause they're gonna get harder, probably. - What is my shoe size? (buzzer buzzes) - 10? - Yeah. (buzzer buzzes) - We all know that. - What is my favorite color? (buzzer buzzes) Brett? - Green. - Yeah. - What is my least favorite restaurant? (buzzer buzzes) - Greg. - Crystals. - No. (buzzer buzzes) - Brett. - Olive Garden. (buzzer buzzes) - Yeah! - Oh my gosh. - Greg, you know I hate Olive Garden. - What the? - Okay, then I'm gonna, let me ask you this. This is true, this is true question right here. Right here. I'm asking. - Greg. - Crystals are Olive Garden. - Olive Garden's my number one hated restaurant. - Crystals are Olive Garden right now if you had to eat it for a week. - I'd go to Crystals. - You would go to Crystals over all, you're crazy. You're lying, that's a lie. - No it's not, I hate Olive Garden. - I know you hate Olive Garden, that's all well and good, but you telling me that you would eat crystals for a week over Olive Garden. - Probably Olive Garden 'cause I have more selection. - See, but if it was for a day or a meal it'd be, Olive Garden, it'd be. - So I'm right, Brett, you're wrong. - Okay. - Okay. - What is, what is my dream car? (buzzer buzzes) - Yeah. - He was not even wrong. - 1960 Cadillac El Dorado? - Is that it? - Yeah. - You're lying. - Swear to God. - What the? (audience cheering) - That's not right. - Am I being punked right now? - What the? - Am I being punked right now? No, let's be real. - I didn't even know that, Brett. - Brett, how did you know that? - You don't ever listen to anybody. - How did you know that? - She loves Cadillacs. - She has. - And how Dorado. - Actually don't love Cadillacs. - Yeah. - Greg talks to Mike. - Yeah, she's not a Cadillac person. - I love Cadillacs. - How'd you know that? - How'd you know in 1960? - Did you tell him or something? - Maybe it's 'cause like my baseball cards? - No. - You guys love the '60s. - Yeah, but... - I don't know, it was just in my head. - But it seems-- - Do we talk and then Brett doesn't listen, but certain things stick to his brain? - Probably, yeah, actually 'cause he'll always be like, "Do you know this?" - Okay. - I remember shit when I was two. - That is a weird thing to remember. - All right, ready? - I wrote a bike. - What is my favorite animal? (buzzer) - Elephant. - I mean, yeah, a little more specific, but yeah. Okay. - Maybe he should get another chance. - I'll give you that. - This is close. - I'll give you that. - Baby. - Yes. - Oh, okay. - Nice. - Good job, Greg. - Okay, next question. What is my go-to sonic drink? (buzzer) - Greg. - Cherry vanilla cream, Dr. Pepper. - No, no, you got it wrong. (buzzer) - Brett. - Vanilla cream, Coke. - That's actually it. You've ordered enough from me. - Oh my. - That's it. - Oh, good job, Brett. Thanks. - Okay, ready? - I'm actually surprised. (laughing) You're stupid, so good. - I didn't think Brett would even talk this whole time. (laughing) - Oh, look at his zone. This is my favorite gas station snack. (buzzer) - Greg. - A chocolate coated donuts and a white milk. - No. Brett, do you even know it? (buzzer) - Brett. - Funyuns? Okay. - Bean dip. (laughing) - Yeah, okay. - And... - I'll give you that. - A chocolate milk. - That is literally the holy triage right there. - That was like exactly what it is. - That's exactly what it is. - Let me see. Well, that's what I have. - We've been on a drive. - What the fuck? - We've been on a drive and you didn't get one of those three things he just listed. - Well, 'cause every once in a while, I was trying something different. That's my go to. - Chelsea. - All right, last question. - We've driven a lot together and I've never seen you get Funyuns and Bean dip. - You guys, see, I've seen her get a lot. - Yeah. - I've seen her get a lot. - Brett. - What is mine? - I'm gonna say honey bonds. - Hold on, Beth's right here. - Here comes phone and friend. - She loves Bean dip, Funyuns, and chocolate. - Boom. - She loves that. - She's been touring with her for three years. - Beth says she's been touring with me for three years. - Her desires have changed. - Okay, last question. Everybody ready? This is a hard one. - Okay. - But you should know it, Greg. What shampoo conditioner do I use? (buzzer) - Brett. - K18. - Yeah. - It's like-- - Brett, you need to quit creeping in their freaking bathroom. - It's 35 bucks. - Yeah. - I looked it up. - Wow, Greg, what are you-- - I shouldn't have answered these. - Greg, what are your thoughts right now? - I just got pumped. - What do you mean? - Brett. - How did you know the K18, for real? Did you like look in their shower? - Yeah. - He's a prep, you know that. He's freaking stares at all the products. - I love biologes. - Greg, what do you mean you got pumped? - I got pumped. - Paul Mitchell. - There's no way he knew all these. I'm just saying. Can y'all, we all let me know that I've just been pumped. - I'm surprised he knew mine. - Yeah. - Honestly, I'm so surprised. - I will say this, you were not pumped. - Dude, you were answering before me. - I'm surprised you knew so much about me too, Greg. Like my favorite fruit. - Yeah, you were quick. - Yeah, good job. - You guys were crazy. - I'm just weird. - Who got the most? - Oh, Brett. - I think Brett. - Brett, both of us are good. - Yeah, he killed me. (cheering) - Yeah, okay. (cheering) - Good job, Brett. - Thanks. - Brett, grab a can opener and open up a can of beans. - Oh, you're smelly? - Smell that? Greg, Greg, you smell that? Tell him to roll it. - Roll that beautiful bean footage, my boy. - Hi, honeys, me and my best friend have been listening to you for a long, her longer than me, but I just wanted to confess something. - When me and my boyfriend do the dirty, instead of saying, when I say I'm going to squirt, I piss on him. I'm just too lazy to go to the bathroom. I just be pissing. And my best friend said I should call and tell you guys that. So, yep. Oh yeah, have a good day. - Well, hey, wet dreams come in many forms and fashions, baby. Wet dreams come in many forms and fashions. - This wasn't even a dream, it was a lifestyle. - So, she tells him she's squirting, but she really just has to pee and doesn't want to go to the bathroom so she pisses on him. - I wonder if she's like doing that all, is she squirting every freaking time? Or just only if she has to pee? - Well, here's the thing. If you're squirting, there's a little bit of squirt. If you pee, I'm pissing two gallons. - Exactly, you said you could fill up a 40 ounce cup. - We'll tell her down. - Easy, easy. - So, she's big loads. - I pee big loads. She's the type of gallant needs a mattress cover. - So, he's probably thinking, my God, I am making this bit squirt. - I'm a champion, I'm a ruler. - And he brags about it to his buddies that he's putting in work and then making her squirt. - Greg, do you remember the one time I squirted? - Yes. - Tell us about it. - Oh, it's great, it's amazing. - Well, tell us about it. - What do you mean, tell you? - The liquidation, everything. - It wasn't a whole lot, I mean-- - What do you remember about it? - Smell, noise. - You don't remember nothing about it. - No, do you remember? - Yeah, what position were we in when I squirted? - Omissionary. - No, well, don't know who you're talking about, but what made you? - Do you know? You don't know? - Yeah, you don't know. - Oh, I know, okay, I don't. - You don't know. - You're on top. - Yeah. I was on top and I squirted and it was, I'd never experienced that and when we were done, I went and woke Maggie and Beth up to tell him I squirted. - 'Cause that's a big accomplishment. - Well, I didn't think I could, I didn't know, it was a real thing, I didn't know, and I was just grinding and I just, I squirted so hard that it lifted me up off the dick. - Love it, Ted. - Yeah. - And the dick was out. - Right. - And I was like, I can't sit there and I was like, do you know what just happened? I was like, you squirted. - And it wasn't Piss, for sure. - No, it wasn't P. - I don't think it, no, let me put it this way. When it came out, you know how it feels coming out the urethria. - Yeah. - Yeah, but you gotta loose pocket down there. - This was not coming out the urethra. This was coming out the vaginal canal. So it was P, it came out of different areas. - Okay. - But it didn't smell, you know when P's smell it, this did not smell. - It had no urine. - No. - No urine scent. - No. - So. - So that's really cool, that you, good job, Greg. - Well, he wasn't doing nothing. I was grinding, it was me. (laughing) I made my soul squirt. - I know, he was part of it, I feel. - I gave all of a sense. - Job break. - Small part of it. - Don't tell him good jobs. - Small part of it. - He's gotta hang in there, though. It's tough when someone's about to come, you know, 'cause it makes you come and then you lose it. - Thank you, Brett. (laughing) - You are full on Pissin' on somebody and your man thinks you're squirting, like how is he not tellin' if it's comin' out his piss? She must drink a lot of water and have clear pee. - Right. - And they're not smelly. - Well, hey, I appreciate you calling in, tellin' us that. - Yeah, I love it. - Any confessions like that, call us with those, okay? - Call us and stay away from asparagus. - Yes, I wonder if he listens if he's gonna know now. - No, you know, we don't know. - Yeah. - We'll never know. - All right. - We'll never know. - We're ready, Brett. - I don't need to know. - Hey, honey, me here. - You there? - Just have a question for y'all. What is three words that you would each use to describe each other? Love ya, honey, oh, that's me! - Oh, wow, here comes another 20-minute segment. - Okay, this is not need to be a 20-minute segment. One word to describe each other. - Three words. - Oh, three words. - Three words to describe you. - Oh, three words to describe each other. - Yeah. - Okay, so why don't, and we don't add anything, I'll go and I'll do each one, and then you go in. Okay, okay, three words to describe page. Kind, compassionate, and fearless. Greg, adorable, loving, strong. Brett, wacky, cool, and calm. (audience cheering) - I know you said no commentary, but calm. - He's a calm guy. - Yes. - Come on now. - Yeah. - Come on. - Come on. - He's incredibly calm. - I'd say he's calm most of the time, but when he's not, he's outrageous, but I would say for most of him, he's calm. - But usually when he's calm, he's still mad. (audience laughing) - Well, he's a calm mad, yeah. - Yeah. - Okay, your turn, page is turn. - Okay. Chelty, I would say, bubbly, generous, and, and, beautiful. - Thank you, honeys. - Greg? - Um, helpful. - Let's go. - Rowdy. - Ah, not Molliechee, what was it? - Not Molliechee. - Mm, mmm. Gracious. - That's good, thank you. - And Brett, I would say you are witty. (moaning) - Shredded. - No, stop. - Shredded. - Witty. Gas, no, ah. - Gas, lady. (laughing) - Kind and, loving. When you want to be, yeah. - Wow, yeah. (laughing) - No, what? - Okay, Greg, your turn. - All right, Chelsea. - Mm-hmm. - Loyal. Fierce. - Got some Sasha Fierce. - And, amazing. - Aw, thank you. - Yeah. - Yeah, without a doubt. - Okay. - Page. Sharp. Goofy. - Okay. - And, clean. (laughing) - That was good. - That was pretty good. - That was good. - That was good. - Brett, I would say, athletic, weird, and savant. - No. - What's savant? - No way that motherfuckers a savant. - Idiot, savant. - Then that's-- - When someone is-- (laughing) - I wasn't gonna call you an idiot, but that's what I mean it as. Idiot, savant. He has a lot of useless knowledge. - That's different from a savant. But I see what you mean. - What's the definition, Brett? - A savant. - Jamie. - Is when someone like usually, they usually, they can remember like-- - They're just really good at something naturally. - They'll say, they'll say, what day was September 8th, 1956, they'll go Tuesday? - Oh. - And it's real. - That's a very learned-- - Their brains are so-- - That's autism. - Yeah, a lot of them do have autism, but not always. And then sometimes their brains are so fast, and so smartly they'll do the math. They'll do the math of every day back to 1956. - Yeah, but it doesn't have to be the same way. It's not the same for everyone. - No, it's very different. - Yeah, and his own right, you know what I mean? - Okay. - That's what I mean. He's very unique in that sense. - Okay, yeah. I'll give you that. When you said savant, that was my first. - Okay, sorry. I wasn't clear, but he's no dummy, you know? - Oh, he's, Brett is actually very intelligent. - I guess. - And I think a lot of people are. - Yeah. - But they're like-- - Whoa, what's going on here? Am I being punk? - Yeah, is this a punk premise? - Here comes Ash, dude, butcher. - No, but I feel like a lot of people are really intelligent in their own ways, but like who, but sometimes maybe people aren't into what they're into, you know? It's like, what do you learn or what should you know? - Yeah, without a doubt, if he shows a great amount of interest in it, he knows a lot about it. - Brett, it's Brett's turn. - So, so, so, yeah. - Yeah, Brett. - Oh, Brett, that's what you said, babe. - Yeah, it's like, I didn't know she was playing. Chelsea. Vellamptuous. Driven. - One more. - Brave. - Ooh, Braveheart. - Okay. - These are good, I'm gonna cry. - Page. - Loquacious. - That's why I have a podcast. - Real quick, what's loquacious mean? - It means you like to talk. - Okay, go ahead. - Talk a lot. - Come on. - Trying to think of a word for a master of all trades. Talented, she's talented. - Yeah. And she's very, very, very friendly. - Good job. - People. - Okay. - Like Brett. - Yeah. - Greg. - Okay. All right, thank you. (all laughing) - That's good. - Helpful, was that all you said with Greg? - You can say what about that one, he's extra helpful. - He'll do anything. Very strong. Greg is strong. Any smart. - He is. - Yeah. - Thank you. - And everything's not the opposite today with this. - Cool. - Appreciate it, Brett. - These are great. These are great. - These are great. Great, Colin, thank you for calling in with that. - Yes, thank you for calling us. - That was fun, yeah. - Okay, I love you. - Another call. Let's play it. Let's play it, baby. - Okay, we got another button to hit. What are we gonna hit? - Hey, Benjamin. - I'm actually not even ready. - Benjamin. - Oh, I got lost in the words area. So is there a button I need to push? - Hey, honey, me here. Well, I'm calling because you wanted to know the length of my peanut, so here it is. It is seven inches and three quarters. - Whoa. - Thank you. Have a good day. - Thank you. - Oh, yeah? - Oh. - I like that guy. - Thank you for calling in with that information. If you guys have, if you guys had seven inch dicks, would you call into a podcast and tell them? - Sure, why not? - Yeah. - Is that why you haven't called? - Yeah, I don't know the number. - You've never measured. - No, you're phone number. - To call you. - Let's tell them it right now and see if you remember it at the end, that'd be a fun game. - Yeah, we'll see if you remember. - See how smart he is, really. - Seven and three quarter. - I think I would definitely call in. I feel like that's a good chunk. That's a good length. That's over, way over average. - Seven inches? - Yeah, you're doing good. - It is huge. Well, if it's a pencil dicking seven inches, that's just gonna poke me. - Yeah, I'd rather have a four inch dick, but have it thick. - Thick, girthy, tuna can over anything long and lengthy like that. We're not trying to spear a fish or nothing. - I think six inches on the ruler seems like really big, Greg. - It does seem like it's like a lot. - Even a six inch sub, sometimes I'm like, I don't know if I can eat all that. - Yeah, if you're dicks the size of a six inch sub, you're putting in some work. Think about that. - All right, thank you for calling in with that information. - That's that, right? - Good job. - That's a big well and dowy. - Yeah, that's handling some business. - I think I'm like five and a half or something like that. - That's probably above average hip. - What's the average? - I think it's 4.5, but it could've changed. And hey, these are just numbers. I don't know how they are getting these accurate measures, but-- - I think I heard when I was younger, six inches was average. So I was like, man, I have a tiny hip. - Average penis. - I'm below average, man. - That's funny. - At average penis, when erect, 5.17, so five inches. - And that's big, I think. - I think that's, I wouldn't say that's a little boat. Yeah, I would agree. Gary, lady, I'll baby. - So don't feel bad if your dick's three and a half. - Not at all. - That's all you need. - Yeah. Yeah. - Come on, come a guy with a small dick. - Play it. Hit me. - Hey, honey, it's me here. - You there? - Well, I'm calling because you wanted to know. - That's the same one, Brett. - What, Brett, come on. - Oh, dang, I am not prepared. - Hold on. - It's okay, it's the monkey yourself. - Are you a bull scout, Brett? - Right, right, right, right. - Okay, what should we talk about? Length, width, height, shoulder weight? - Are you a hot dog or a brought girl? Oh, you don't do meat? - No, I like the smells. - Hot dog, I hate brats. - Okay, really? - Spice. - I don't like the thick casing. I don't like the thick meat. Whenever I have like a burger, Greg, Greg can vouch for this. Whenever I have a burger and they have the big thick patties, it ruins it for me. I want a little patty. If I order... - Which is weird 'cause you don't like in and out. - No, I hate in and out. - And they have the thin patty. So it must be like the... - But if I order something like a wrap or something or a sandwich or something, I always ask for easy meat. I don't want meat to be the whole... - Meal. - I want to taste the lettuce, the mustard, the pickle, you know, like I don't want it to be just meat. - Right, but you love a good steak. - Sure. - Yeah, yeah. - Tube steak. - Two big tube, four inch tube steak. - Remember when you got like that white steak in Vegas? - Oh, the wagyu? - Yeah. - Or was that like... - White. - Was that Kobayashi? - How much was it? Like 500 bucks for like four ounces. - Oh, it was expensive. It was very expensive. I thought it was 99 dollars an ounce with the minimum of four ounces. - That's what it was. - So, yeah. And Brett and I both tried it. - You wanna say the taste is like bacon. - Well, bacon and butter. It was so, it was... - It's all fat. - Yeah, yeah. It's a huge amount of marbling. So, it kind of melts in your mouth. But, you know, it was a cool experience. - Sure. - Way too rich for me, you know? - Oh, yeah. - Hey, you know, Kobayashi got kicked out of the hot dog evening contest? - He's been out of it for a while. - Yeah, I guess he wanted to do it or something, but he was sponsored by the vegan hot dogs. - Oh, no, that's Joey Chestnut. - Oh, what? - Yeah, Joey Chestnut was sponsored by, he decided to go in with a company with alternative meat or alternative to meat. So, he wasn't able to compete in the Nathan's hot dog competition. And so, him and Kobayashi, which is a guy that he started defeating in those eating contest, were gonna compete in their own event. - Oh, okay. So, they beard off. Dang, there's freaking changing in every story. - Yeah. - I don't know how, you know? - Kobayashi got it. - Oh, dude, there's actually a documentary about that. Very interesting. - Oh, I kinda watched that. - And he was talking about like, how detrimental it was to his body. - Sure. - And, you know. - The elasticity. - Yeah. What was that guy's name that did the Super Size Me? He passed away recently. - Yeah, he did. - And I just wonder if, you know, who knows? - I'm so sorry. - Who knows? Brett, dude, so we don't have another call? - No, I got it. - Okay, I'll hit it. - Hey, it's Autumn here. I was just calling because fuck the little lady who crosses the street from her house to go to where my son goes to school, smoke her cigarettes, and then throw it on the ground. There's like hundreds of cigarettes. And I thought about it. I thought about how I would approach it. Like, would I give her an ashtray and be like, hey, can you use this instead of throwing all over the ground? Or, you know, I don't know. I'm just so nervous too. I don't want confrontation or anything. - I know how to handle it. - So what would you guys do? Okay. Bye. - What'd you do, Greg? - So I'd clean out the lint trap from my dryer, and I would also take the old AC filters from my house, and I'd go put them in her front yard. - Whoa. - But she's not flicking the cigarettes there. She's walking over on her stroll and flicking them off. - Well, it pisses that lady off. I mean, hey, retaliation. It don't matter. - Okay, so you're gonna go dig. Okay, instead of saying something, you're gonna just go mess with her. - Yeah, I'm like, hey, hey, why are you putting filters in front of my kid's school? I'm about to get some of my AC filters. Unless you smoke, then maybe you could do it in her yard. I don't know. - So that double filter? - Yeah. - You double filter it out. I would even probably throw my old coffee ground filters in there too. - Whoa. - I mean, just we're gonna put all the filters. Even my old old filters and air filters from a truck. - Whoa. - In her front yard. - Vacuum filters, all along. - She's gonna be filtered. - I honestly see her reservation here, 'cause you don't wanna, you don't want confrontation. - What's an old lady? - Oh, this lady may say fuck off. You know what I mean? Fuck you. - Yeah, that is a tough one. I would just maybe make a sign and put a little thing and say, "Hey, put your malt sticks here." - I would too. - Or, gosh. - Hey, put your malt sticks in this little can. - Put your malt sticks in this container. - I don't sign out there, maybe. - And if she's still just flaking and not, I would maybe go out there and say, "Hey, man, do you read?" - Yeah. - Because some people just flick their cigarettes, man. I mean, that's how a lot of fires start. Somebody the other day flicked their cigarette under your car when we're sitting there. - Yeah, yeah. - Like, it is littering, huh? - So either she knows what she's doing and she's just a bitch and doesn't care and is waiting on someone to try her, or she truly is just old school and people just used to flick their cigarettes and she may not even think, she may not even think that anyone cares. - I have an idea. - Aren't there like vapes with tobacco and nicotine in them? - Maker vape. - Yeah. Vape smokers get a lot of hate, you know? Might as well just vape. - Yeah. - I can't believe you could smoke on an airplane and all that. - Back in the day? - Yeah. - How crazy is that? - Maybe present her with some unfiltered cigarettes, you know? - Unfiltered. - Yeah. - Oh, that you don't have a bite. - Basically doesn't have the bite. - But that's the problem. It's not the cigarette itself, it's the butt, it's the filter. - I see. - So it becomes the issue. - The cost. - Give her some unfiltered cigarettes. - No filter. - Yeah, no filter at all. Just like here. - Just out here. - Do what you do, say what you say. Suck what you suck. - Right. - Puff that shit in. - We're high. - You know, you don't want no filter. - My sister in high school, she used to hide smoking from my mom and I remember she would like cut off some of the filter. Isn't that even worse for you? - I don't know. - To be doing that, well like, why was she cutting off like some of the filter? - You're gonna get more nicotine? - Dang, she was reaching for that nicotine. - Yeah, the filter filters it, so why would you? - Yeah. - Oh, she was smart above him, okay. - What's it going on? - Well, I do want to say for all the listeners that have been listening this entire podcast, we love and appreciate you. Paige and I have a little, a special malt leaky announcement just for you guys. - Yes, you guys. - And we're announcing it here for you before we announce it anywhere else or on social media or anything. - And we're so excited. - You are the first to know. - Because you guys are what keep us afloat and just every week coming back and loving life and you're such a big part of our lives. So we got some big surprise. - We got a big surprise, big news. And we're not gonna make you wait for it. We're gonna tell you. - Right now. - Right now, we've been working really hard on this. - So you come up at the same time. - One, two, three. - We're going on tour! (cheering) (upbeat music) - Turn the clapping off. - Turn it off. Turn it off. Turn it off. (cheering) - Oh, right, clicky. - Oh, thank you. So we are doing that and we are so, oh, oh my God. - We are doing a live viral podcast tour. We're calling it the viral podcast live on tour. - Because that's what we'd be doing. - 'Cause that's what we're doing. And we are hitting up 22 cities and we are not gonna announce those right now 'cause some of them are not final. - So we will be announcing in the next week or-- - We wanted to let, yeah, we wanted to let y'all know. Now, we are, this episode is recorded a week before it comes out. So technically, next week will be today when you're listening. And I'm not sure if tickets are on sale yet. - So just be, we're telling you first to like give you a heads up. So be ready, get ready. We're going viral and, you know, for the tickets. We're gonna give you guys some more time later. - If they're on sale, go to the viralpodcast.co or eatmytrash.com, get your tickets. If they're not on sale yet, you'll see on, we will announce it social media. Wish I could give you an exact-- - I wish I could say, I wish I could say, hey, tickets are on sale right now, go get 'em. They might be, we don't know yet, they haven't given us an answer, but we wanted to announce on this episode anyway. If that makes sense. - Yep, just want them to be prepared in a way. - I want y'all to know. - Yeah, we want you guys to know 'cause we love you. So click it and get the ticket. - Tickets, not yet, Brett. - No, I just don't get ready. - Ticket tickets might be on sale right now. If they're not, it'll say coming soon, wait, whatever. If they are, get your tickets right now. And I will say this, we are only doing small venues. Some of the venues have 150 seats, some have a few hundred seats, 500. They'll sell out. We're not doing big theaters. We're doing small venues. - So be quick, quick, quick. If you wanna be there. - So if you wanna be there. - They're gonna be a good time. We're gonna have fun, you know. We're just gonna have a good time. So really. - We got lots planned. Thevourpodcast.co or eatmytrash.com. Get your tickets. Come see The Vour Podcast live. - I can't believe it, dude. - Oh my God, guys, we've been talking about this for like this entire year, just trying to manifest it. And it's actually coming to life. And thank you for being here. - Yes. - So we can have this opportunity. Well, me, you've been on tour. - Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. - I'm really excited. And I will say this. One more thing before we go. Greg. - Yes. - Lean forward. We pranked your ass. - Yeah, good job. - Yeah, you knew it. - Yeah, we got you. - I'm gonna be a natural guy. - We told Brett all the answers before, one mind before. - Yeah, you're so fast, dude. - So I wanna tell you something, Greg. (laughing) You're not a sub warrant. (laughing) - I wanna say something that I think Greg's that one more thing I think is really funny. - Okay. - Oh, thank you, Brett. I appreciate it. - That was so funny getting Greg. - No, you haven't. - Greg got got that funny. He's like, "What? "You don't even do it, you just do it." (laughing) - I mean, that was funny. - No, no, you got me. I enjoyed it. - I've been seeing it on TikTok. I was like, "We have to freaking do that." - All right, cool. - It was a little delicious, but it's all fun. - No, no, dude. It's all fun and games, man. I had a good time. - No, thank you. - Appreciate it. - It's a cool time. Thank you, Greg, for being here. Thank you, Brett, for being here. Thank you guys for listening. Come see us on tour. - Thank you and call us and give us a little ring ring and we hope to see you in your city. - I do. - Greg, what's the podcast number? - Give us a call. - Give us a call at the viral podcast at one, six, seven. - No, no, no, all right. And give us a call at. - Four, four, two, seven, seven, seven, three, three, three, one. - And always remember, you're doing great. - You're looking good. - And fuck what everybody else thinks. - It's ready, it's ready. - Hell yeah, y'all. - My honey's tour here. - My honey's tour. - Y'all done, y'all doing big things. - We're toll girls. - Get ready. - Ready, ready, ready. - We're going viral. (cheering) - Bye-bye. - Look at, look at my tits kind of move. Don't let a nit pop out.
