(upbeat music) - 21st century entrepreneurship with Martin P. Skorick. - It was a simple yet profound realization for me when I imagined the building, the bridge, or the tunnel collapsing under pressure tests without structural integrity. It was profound and simple at the same time when I realized same thing will happen for individuals, teams, and cultures. (upbeat music) We too will collapse under pressure tests without structural integrity. So how do we retrofit ourselves? I recommend playing the integrity game. (upbeat music) Hey everyone, I'm Jeff Klubek. I'm a now unretired professor of communication at San Diego State University. And I'm author and founder of this neat little brand I call the integrity game. What would happen if accountability was non-threatening? Let's play the integrity game and find out. (upbeat music) What we're really talking about here is accountability. But nobody wants to talk about accountability unless they're pointing the finger at somebody else for not having it, right? And integrity is kind of the same way. I mean, the funny part is it's like the parenting or driving where everybody thinks themselves to be really good at it. It's just everybody else sucks, right? And I laugh because laughing is like a Trojan horse. To get humor through, I developed a stand-up comedy style in the classroom all the years that I've been a professor of communication. But when we talk about the integrity game, what I found interesting, and it's evolved over the years and I might get a chance to tell that story. But if I asked a room full of 100 entrepreneurs, how many of you have external accountability sources? I don't know if I would get all the hands, right? But when I ask how many of you believe you have integrity, now there's a breeze up front with all the hands that go up, right? And so then it's fun to say, well, don't shoot the messenger in 32 minutes when the keynote is over. (laughs) Don't shoot the, but we're gonna talk about integrity. And so you wanna laugh their way to the learner. You wanna, you know, like, shape the path. 'Cause what we're really talking about is accountability. And my experience, most people are going to consider accountability to be an attack when they're not ready to be a 100% responsible for their own behavior. So instead of leading with accountability and triggering ego defense and not getting anywhere, I lead with integrity and humor and dual reality and silliness to get us into this accountability conversation. Ultimately, the goal of the integrity game is to help individuals, teams and organizations arrive at non-threatening accountability. Let's imagine what our world would be like if accountability was non-threatening. Unfortunately, it is. Accountability triggers ego defense. And that's one thing I'm highly aware of, given my background and what's caught me this far. So that's what the conversation's about. Really is accountability, but the goal is non-threatening accountability and the game is integrity. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) One of the challenging things about integrity that I'm working on and breaking through is how it's commonly understood. When I've done this, and I've done this a lot in rooms all over the country in different parts of the world, when I ask people how many of you believe you have integrity and everybody raises their hand and I joke and say don't shoot the messenger in 37 minutes, then I follow it up with hey, hang on a second. I want good ratings, I want good reviews. I want you to invite me back for the next keynote next year. Let's make sure we're talking about the same things. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) So the first thing that we gotta do is make sure we're talking about the same thing, right? Not just because of ambiguity of language, but also the cultural and the connotative usage around words. (upbeat music) Here's the two answers I always get. Number one, be your word. Somebody in the audience will say be your word, do what you say you're going to do, okay? And then people will nod in agreement, right? And then I get to joke, oh, they took your answer, huh? Okay, well, anyway, right? It's very funny in a public speaking setting to like bring the room alive around this conversation. People want to play the integrity game. And so I pin that on the board, be your word. Then, well, what else? Would anybody else have a different answer? And the other answer that I always get, 'cause I always get both of them, the other answer I get is do the same thing when nobody's watching as you would when somebody is watching or in short, do the right thing when nobody's watching. And then everybody nods, I feel the audience nod. I'm like, okay, so we've got some agreement now. And I'll just create the space. Any other answers? And very rarely I get different answers than those two. But for the most part, those are the two that I play with and work with. So from a perspective of establishing context around this game, we want to, first of all, focus on what we like about these two answers, right? (upbeat music) There's two things, wand. In both cases, there is an integration. With one answer, be your word. There's a coming together of word with behavior. Integrate. Word, when we do what we said we're going to do, we're integrating our behavior with our word. We're bringing those two things together, whereas they were separate, okay? On the other side, when we do the right thing, regardless of who's watching, we have now integrated our behavior with a moral or a value or an ethic, a compass, a virtue, something, okay? So here's what's fun, and this is the first aha that I give my audiences. Is just, and it's embarrassing. And I like laugh from the front of the room and I get him, "Hey, don't shoot the messenger." Despite the fact that they start with the same six letters. (upbeat music) Not one of you entrepreneurs use the word integration in your answer when I ask what's integrity. Not one of you are thinking about just together or not together, integrated or not. 'Cause what we have, what we've been conditioned to do is use integrity as a judgment of others. We all claim to have integrity 'cause we all judge ourselves by our intentions. But we all judge others to be without integrity because they're falling short of our expectations for the world. What we do know and I know what we're really doing is projecting onto everybody. We know we're falling short of what we're capable of. We know we're falling short of what our intentions are. We know we're not reaching our potential. We haven't took care of our purpose. We're not optimizing our gifts. We're not setting goals. We're not on and on and on. I'll get into the nuts and bolts of the integrity game in a minute. But still, first of all, at a high level, what we like about these two answers, number one, is that there's an integration and that's the first thing I get to do as a thought leader, is shine the light on integration when we talk about integrity. Let's get the judgment out of it, please. That's one. Number two, the other thing that I like is that behavior shows up in both equations. Behavior with word. Oh, behavior's in there. I'd behavior with values. Oh, behavior's in there. So you can hide behind your words and you can hide behind your values all you want. But if you wanna play the integrity game, you're gonna be focused on behavior. Behavior shows up in both equations. Yet we judge ourselves by intent. We judge ourselves. No, I didn't say that. I said, well, that's not what I said. I said this, right? And we're hiding behind the words, but good communicators understand tone of voice and don verbal and on and on and on. Anyway, we hide behind our values or morals or ethics, but when it comes to accountability, so it's like, how do we play this game? We're trying to hold up a big mirror and invite people to look within. I wanna make it playful. I wanna make it fun. I wanna make it easy to look within. The first thing we wanna do is understand what we like about these two answers. Be your word and do the right thing when nobody's watching. Two reasons I like those answers is because there's an integration in both cases, which takes judgment out of it. And in both cases, we're focused on behavior rather than what I was gonna do or I didn't mean to or I didn't want to or I was just trying to, where I, all of that stuff, if we can get rid of all of that stuff, it's such a waste of time, right? Now, I'm not mad at anybody 'cause we're all just eager and defensive human beings. That's what we're all doing. It's okay, but let's shine some light on it. Now, here's what I don't like about those two answers. Okay? Is that if I said I was going to get into my car and go drive into the first pedestrian I saw, and then I got into my car and drove into the first pedestrian I saw, I will have done what I said I was going to do, but could I claim integrity? We all know, no. The answer's no. Unless some sarcastic person in the class, your goal in life is don't even say it. Of course not. Right? So being your word is good, isn't it? But it's not enough. It's not a totality. For the enormity of a potential that integrity has in our lives. Why stop? It just be your word when we can play safe games like that or weird games like that, okay? It's like when somebody's coaching with me, yeah, I want to know what your word is, but what you want, I really want to know is why is that your word? What else could your word be? So it's good, be your word is good, but not enough in my jurisdiction. When you're coaching or training or getting certified or whatever you're doing with me, right? We're going to play a different game. We need more than just be your word. On the other side of the table, right? And this is for any entrepreneurs and parents. If you guys have kids out there, you know that we should never lie, right? We should always tell the truth, right? Transparency. Unless there's some holiday coming and we've got to carry on some lie that's been going on for thousands of years to guilt our kids and behavior, then lie the hell out of them, right? Like, I don't know if you have this where you are at, Martin, with the, you know, elf on a shelf. We lie to our kids for 26 days about don't touch the elf or else you'll get bad luck or when you go to sleep, it changes locations in the house and it's funny 'cause, you know, I'm very in a Filipino Catholic woman and I'm a Jewish guy, right? And we get into bed at like 12 o'clock and my wife's like, "Oh, Jeff, you got to move the elf on the shelf." Like, "No, I got to go down in line of my kid. "I got to get out of bed now and move this elf "before us or carry some lie." Oh, it's okay to lie then. So, and apologizing for us over here in the United States. I'm apologizing for us, even though it's not my fault, but I'm apologizing for us. 30 to 70% of us can't agree on who our president is or what's up or down or right or wrong or left or right or right or blue anymore, right? We can't agree on the same set of facts. You want to tell me what's right or wrong, good or bad, bein' or dirty, so it will savage. So, like, sometimes fools rush him. Sometimes she who hesitates is lost. Sometimes if I never quit, I'll never lose. And sometimes I better know when to cut my losses. (upbeat music) So, isn't this do the right thing when nobody's watching? Isn't it a moving target and says who? Who decides what the right thing is? Now, there's certain principles and business entrepreneurs that never change. Although, my name is Biz-Ness and I have needs. There's basic, predictable accountability in business. Business is easy. It's business owners that are delusional, right? And I say that with love 'cause we're just human beings, okay? So, guess what? Be your word and do the right thing or good. They're just not enough. So, I deviled up over time a 10-point model. There are 10 things on my model that I think we need to bring together, that I think we need to integrate. And the 10 points on the model become 10 content doors to knock on 'cause each of them are an endless journey of content behind each door, each topic. But then if we convert each of the 10 doors to question sets, now we can invite people to answer 10 sets of questions to make sure their answers are integrated and then hold people accountable to their own answers. (upbeat music) So, this is what I'm up to. This is what I'm on to with the integrity game. I wanna make it actionable to retrofit ourselves. I wanna make it fun and easy to look within towards our own structural integrity. It's easy to stand at the water pool and complain about the box when we haven't decided what our own purpose in life is. (upbeat music) It's easy to go out for drinks with the co-workers after work and complain about the shareholders and the owner and the whatever rolling downhill when we haven't set our own quarterly goals. When we haven't declared what our purpose, potential, mission, objectives. When we haven't taken enough responsibility in our own life, what are we gonna do? Walk around and tell everybody how much responsibility we're not taking in our own life or we're just gonna complain about everybody else. So, I'm inviting the world to play the integrity game, mostly because I want more integrity in my life. I'm a flawed human being myself and I've worked through some challenges in my life, right? And I wanna look myself in the mirror, I wanna be a better father, I wanna be a better husband, the whole thing. So, if I'm in the commit to my own integrity, I figure, well, I'm in the world to play with me. (upbeat music) So, when we look at the model, right, I've come up with different metaphors over the years, but the first one that I started with is shoelaces. And so, if you have an imagination for putting the string in the hole and you move it across, and you go diagonal, diagonal, diagonal, diagonal, and then you go back up and then you get the other one and you go diagonal, diagonal. And then, you cinch it up, right? So, the laces are doing what? They're not tying the shoe. We tie the laces, but the laces are doing it's integrating the left side with the right side, bringing the left and right side closer together. Why? So, the shoe could do it, it was made to do. Stay on her foot, protect her foot. And so, right, if you have an untied shoe, this is a silly example, but what if it falls off? And what if you spin your ankle? What if it just costs you three seconds on your journey? 'Cause you gotta stop, bend over and put it back on. Now, you're three seconds late to where you were gonna go. Anything out of integrity invites everything else to be out of integrity. You know, worse yet, what if you up on a rock, cut your foot, gotta go back, get a new sock? 'Cause this one's bloody. What if you got, oh, you got it, right? So, the idea is, right? So, now, the visual that I use on my PowerPoint is the shoelaces, one hole each, for each of the 10 points on the model. (upbeat music) And so, when I'm doing it in a keynote, I always start at the top and I go in a certain, but what I really love about the model is that, like I said, each of the 10th, we can start anywhere. So, the 10th point, for example, that I introduce when I'm doing a keynote is given serve. We all wanna know who wins when we win, right? Who wins when we win, right? If I'm a cup and I spill it over, who wears the overflow going, right? So, we wanna be aware of that. Even if I'm not actualized yet, even if I'm not. So, I still wanna have, that's like, highest to best values is to be contribution. We gotta secure our best first and serve others, all of that. So, that's the 10th point on the model. First point on the model, though, is purpose, right? Simon Sindic was really famous for popularizing start with why. Well, my model starts there too, right? What's purpose, what's the meaning, right? What's the meaning of the business? What's the meaning of the team? What's the meaning of the exit strategy? What's the meaning of my marriage? What's the meaning of this podcast, right? When we start there, then all of the decisions that we make, they're gonna be filtered through that answered question. We can be responsible to purpose when we declare purpose. Now, any other aspect of the game we wanna play is gonna filter through that responsibility to purpose. Where we get in trouble is where, it's so funny, back to when I am in public speaking, how many of you have integrity? 100% of the room raises their hand. They say, "Okay, now, reach into your pocket and grab a pen "and write down what your purpose is and pass it forward." And nobody would be able to do that. Everybody's quick to raise their hand when they say they have integrity, but it would take hours for them to produce a purpose statement. Even a draft purpose statement. Does this make sense? Okay, so we wanna make it less threatening to be able to encourage people to do that. So that's, first point on the model is purpose, with why and everything. Last point is giving and serving and who wins when we win. Hopefully those two connect with each other and reintegrate, one in 10. But in the middle, one of the points on the model is word and commitment, right? We talked about be your word, right? Be your word is good, but it's not enough. So when we play the integrity of the game and we're focused on this point on the model, it's not just do what you say you're going to do. Because we could play it easy and just say we're gonna do average, remedial, critter stuff. And then if I said I was gonna sleep on the couch for 20 out of every 24 hours, and then I stayed on the couch for 20 out of every 24 hours, well, I don't want to say that was what they do. So it's not enough. Does this make sense? (upbeat music) (upbeat music) So what we focus on first of all, is the power of words themselves. Why would I say should when I could say (grunts) Why would I say hate when I could say genuinely dislike? Why would I say fond of when I could say love? So the power of words in and of themselves, I don't, I forget, I always forget the exact name but the water project, you could look it up. I think Yamamoto or I forget the last name of the person, but it was like with water crystal, studying the anatomy of water crystals based on the different words that are taped to it. So if you believe in the vibrational, the musical, vibrational power of words, that's important. Let's be careful in our use of words. Let's find right words, good words. And if we find ourselves saying words that we're not happy with or proud of, let's ask for a chance to restate. Hang on, let me say that again. That's not really what I'm at. Or, you know what, let me say it a better way. Oh, I said six, let me say a half a dozen or five plus one or seven minus one. 'Cause the words that come immediately to my mind may not be the words that resonate with my audience. So how aware am I of words, their vibration and the differences between the meaning I attached to those words and the meaning that my audiences may. Jargon versus slogan and everything in between and filters and values and attitudes and beliefs that determine meaning making and all of it, right? And people just communicate. They think they can speak because they can talk. They think they can listen because they can hear. There's so much more to it, right? People take a communication degree from granted 'cause everybody believes they can communicate. What do I need a communication degree for? Well, let's make a list of the last 10 problems that you had to deal with at work or at home. And now let's talk about why you think you need to be a better communicator. So we just talk about the power of words in and of and by themselves, the musical, the energy, the vibration of them, but also how they give access to our beliefs. I can tell what somebody is feeling and thinking based on their word choices. I can tell if they're focused on time as money and then help them to see patients as a virtue, right? Or if they're focused on if I never quit, I never lose, right? And we can get them to consider what it would be like to cut their losses. But we get access to that through the words. (upbeat music) Then the other piece of this rung on the ladder if you will or in the model is commitment. It's not do what you say you're going to do, it's what's your relationship to your word? So now we're saying, hey, how do you manage expectations that you set for self and others? Yeah, I know you probably don't get that question very often, but guess what? I'm fearless in my love for non-threatening accountability and for people actualizing, so I'm gonna ask. Again, tell me about your relationship to your word and how you manage expectations that you set for yourself and others. Oh, let's roll up our sleeves. Let's get another cup of coffee, we might be here a while. Now let's slow down on this, really take our time. So are we careful? You know how there's people out there in the world. I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll do it. They're in the moment, people pleasing and volunteering and wanting to be important, wanting to be seen, wanting to be recognized, but they aren't stopping and doing the math about how long these commitments take and how much time there is in the day. And so then they overcommit, they're stretched too thin and then they're playing a shell game in their communication, putting up smoke and mirrors to excuse themselves for not being able to come through on everything that they've committed to. And these are the same person that will raise their hand at the beginning of my talk, claiming they have integrity, not realizing how they're lying every day to themselves and all the people that they're trying to please. And just because those people aren't trained in calling them out or they're being professional or being cordial or being, doesn't mean they don't see the broccoli in our teeth. So we're lying to the people we care about. We're overcommitted, we're stressed out. We're showing up every day out of integrity, but we just go to the water cooler and accuse everybody else. Instead of being very careful about what we commit to, being very careful about giving out our word. And so we've made sure that we are absolutely committed to beating and why we're giving it out and what it means and how it fits with the rest of our game. So the idea is, if I've got answers to all 10 question sets, all of this is gonna be easier. And if I have answers to some of the question sets, most of this will be easier. And so let me just quickly purpose, then gift. Gone, given man-made self-generated gifts, competitive advantage. How do I differentiate? Why am I gifted, how am I gifted? Am I investing in that or running from that? So that's the second point on the model. Then third point is potential, which breaks down kind of chronologically. That's first vision. Look at as far into the future as you can possibly see and describe that. Then mission is closer, then farthest away, but it's still long ways away and it's an accomplishment, it's a rival, it's a goal, it's an achievement, and then annual objectives. What do we need to achieve this here to feel like we're on the way to the mission, on the way to the vision? Then anything less than a year, fourth rung on the model is goals. Most of your entrepreneurs and listeners are sort of smart goal setting, but I add an A and change the R to put a little bit more juice and spice into the model, a little more non-threading accountability, a little more focused on behavior. I added an A and change the R on the smart goal setting model, but that's like quarterly or semi-annual, anything less than a year, less than objectives. So now if I got purpose, gifts, potential, and goals, and I'm clear on that, now my brain's going, all right, let's get to work. And so then the next rung is strategies, tactics, and resources among all of the options I have on how to do what I need to go do it, right? Now, what are the strategies for everything? The strategies, everything, right? Tony Robbins says success leaves clues, right? So, and there's strategies for introverts, there's strategies for extroverts, there's strategies for different behavioral styles, backgrounds, cultures, et cetera, right? But among all those choices, back to word and commitment, what do we commit to, and what do we do, right? So whether we commit to what's our relationship to our word, what's our usage of words, then the next rung on the model is action taking, getting into action, behavior, action, what's our mindset around taking action, being an action taker, willing to take action responsible for our actions taken, et cetera, then the last three points on the model are proactive learning, right? We can learn the hard way most of us do. Well, I prefer proactive, choosing to learn something proactively so that I don't see it as a red pen experience, but I see it as a growth experience, right? And then ultimately I gotta, you know, despite the fact that I'm trying to bring all this together and pursue my purpose, potential, all of that, I still need to stop every now and then and update the old resume. So the ninth point on the model is accomplishments, accumulation of accomplishments. I'm spending so much time thinking about what I want to achieve, it's time every now and then to stack up and update and make sure the LinkedIn profile is updated and we've got stock of what we have achieved. So then the last point on the model now is cert, right? 'Cause the truth is we always have something to give, even if some of us are focused so much on what we want, that we forget how much we have and we forget that we can balance our lives out and we can feel integrated if we remind ourselves how much we have every day of our lives to give to others. So that's the 10 point model, that's the nuts and bolts of the integrity game and it's hard to answer those questions alone and so we have, you know, one on one on a group coaching or, you know, trainings or solicitations, it's the book, it's the keynote, it's everything I've done all my career is now being packaged through the integrity game. It's just, it's a better brand. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) When we think back to the overarching concept that a building bridge or tunnel will collapse under pressure test without structural integrity, right? And after having looked at, you know, the overview of the nuts and bolts, right? We get to really pay attention to this proposition that anything that's out of integrity will invite everything else to be out of integrity. So, for example, if we look at action on the model and I imagine that I'm in an audience now, a hundred entrepreneurs at a retreat, a seminar, a business growth event, whatever it is, right? And I say, hey, somebody threw out a number like a hundred. How many things do we do in a day? A hundred, okay, thank you. Somebody throws up, okay, very good. We do about a hundred things. Of those hundred, how many of those are integrated with what we've said we would do that day? Our to-do list or our daily intention or how many of you write an email to yourself the night before about what you need to do? Nevermind, that's the advanced class, excuse me. Let's just keep it surface. Somebody threw out a number like 15. How many items are on our to-do list every day? 15, thank you very much. Okay, so if we do a hundred things, 85 of them are not integrated with what our intentions were. That's if we do all 15 on our list. Somebody threw out a number like five. How many things of our 15 do we do? And five, thank you. But you guys all raised your hand. 13 minutes ago, when I asked how many of you have integrity, you all judge yourselves to have perfect integrity. But all it takes is just a jackass standing at the front of the room, asking you a couple of weird questions in a group pressured environment. Thank you all for participating. Right? Oh, it gets embarrassing. It gets embarrassing if I say, "Hey, of the 15 things that are on your to-do list, how many of them are integrated with strategies, tactics to execute those strategies and the resources to execute the tactics?" In other words, how many of you have decided what you want, decided what strategies, tactics, and resources? And now your to-do list is a function. It's a peb, every item on your to-do list is a pebble from that mountain. How many of you are staying busy, but let's not confuse busy with achievement? How many of you have said to somebody you're too busy to do something really important to them, but you haven't looked at how much screen time you've spent on your phone this week? So the truth is we're all full of shit, okay? Myself included, okay? And I want more integrity in my life. I'm inviting everybody to play with me. And I'm willing to be vulnerable, leaders go first. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) The integrity game is as easy to understand as it is difficult to play. And that's why we created a group coaching environment that's hybrid in nature. It started two years ago after the release of the book, it went to number one, bestseller on Amazon. Thank you very much to the integrity game. And then I was like, now what? I'm like, got to create the group coaching and then take people through it. And then I said, it was ways to take myself through it. But the way that it set up, the group coaching environment is I found subject matter experts that I could interview about each of the 10 points on the model. So who could talk to me and help us go deeper on purpose, gifts, potential, all the 10 points of the integrity of the game model. So I lined up these interviews and I would do the interviews live. And then I did them once a week. So after each week, I would then go to my integrity game workbook and I would draft answers to each of the 10 points on the model. So I took myself through the integrity game by interviewing subject matter experts. So the 90 day challenge is what we called it. And everybody that joins gets a free PDF copy of the book. They get two one on one sessions with an integrity game certified coach. In some cases you might even get me. And that's, you know, to share your answers with their soundboard or brainstorm. So two private one on one sessions, the PDF of the book. You get access to the Facebook group where all the archives are. We've done two years of it worth now. So there's like 24 to 26 recorded sessions. So even though we call it the 90 day challenge, you could go at it through your own pace. You get the workbook, you could watch the videos, you could draft your responses, you have access to your coach. We are going to throw in a set of behavioral assessments in there and what else. And then of course, every fall, we run a brand new set of live sessions. So coming up this fall, I'm going to be interviewing a brand new handful of subject matter experts to help me go deeper on the 10 points in the model. And we'll add those to the archives and just keep this community evergreen and rolling all the time. And it's a great way, like I said, to retrofit yourself. I like doing it from September through November. Then we get December off, right? But it's like your last push for the year. And it's a great way to set up the next year to do your Q1, Q2 goal setting and Q3, Q4 of this current year. So whether you need to get off of the summer and finish this current year strong or whether you need to really have something that retrofits your focus and your resilience to pressure tests. So you're sturdy and stable. Heading into the new year, you want to be vulnerable in a community of people, then we want you to play the game with us. (upbeat music) - 21st century entrepreneurship. With Martin P. Skorick. (upbeat music) - Imagine a space where triumphs, trials, and tales of entrepreneurship come alive. Welcome to the 21st century entrepreneurship podcast, a gold awarded journey hosted by Martin Piscoric, connecting with listeners in 95 countries and ranking in the top 0.5% of all podcasts. Join our exclusive community. Elevate your perspective and embark on the path to success. (upbeat music)
