[MUSIC PLAYING] This is the Commission Church online. Welcome to our podcast. We want to be a church who brings heaven on earth with the word of God and the love of Christ. I pray this week's message blesses you. You ready for the word? You know, a few weeks ago, I was-- my family and I, we did our first ever, all family vacation. My wife's family and my family. My sister was in here. She was out of the country. But my parents, all of us, we went on a family vacation. That was awesome. That was something that we saved up for. It was something that we prayed about. It was something that we were looking forward to. Our girls were looking forward to it because they got to play with their cousins for three straight days, OK? They were in the resort, but we found a resort that had a water park in it. So they were tanned out of their minds. They were wanting to just be on the beach and the water park. Alternatively, they didn't care about eating or anything else. They just wanted to play. And it was very rewarding to see the family just enjoying the company of one another. Sonia joked about it, and she said that this trip is either going to bring our family together or it's going to tear us apart. And thank God it was the former. Amen. We all grew closer as a family. But what was supposed to be a great and beautiful vacation ended up being horrific. It turned out to be a horrific event, eventually. Not the vacation itself, but what we would have to then go through at the end of a vacation. As you remember, packing our bags up. Anybody have that feeling? At the end of the vacation, you're happy you're there. And you're happy you enjoyed it, but then you're ready to be back home. To be in your own bed, to enjoy your own shower. Come on, anybody. Yes, to eat the food that your wife prepares, and not that crazy buffet that you've been visiting for the last four days. We're looking forward to it, and we got into the plane, put our seat belts on, and then the pilot came on air and said, guys, we have some sad news. We're going to have to wait for a little more. We're trying to figure out a technical issue. And what we thought would be a quick fix turned out to be what was called a Microsoft outage that we were one of the first planes that got affected by it. My brother-in-law and their family, Sonia's brother and sister, took off just a few minutes before we were supposed to. And they escaped the tragedy when we kind of got stuck in there. And was supposed to be a quick fix turned out to be three to four hours on the tarmac, them just trying to figure out what was wrong. And the nightmare that it was in four hours they got back on and said, guys, this is much bigger than we expected it to be. It's not something that we could just fix. The whole world is experiencing this issue. And we're like, what can be so big? We didn't know about what the news was and all that stuff. And quickly, we were de-plained. They put us up in hotels for a night. They tried to reschedule our flights. But we were seven people. We had three little kids, eight, five, and two. And then we also have two elderly parents that we're all trying to say, hey, we've got to be on the same flight. They're like, hey, we can put two on this, two on this. And I'm like, listen, Linda, that is not possible. We cannot allow people to fend for themselves here in Mexico all by themselves. So we're like, we all need to be in one plane. And they said, well, the best we can do is a 42-hour journey that will route you through all of North America and literally bring you back to Dallas 42 hours later. And we said, no, we're not going to do that. I'd rather drive than do that. We will go through all the hazards we need to. But the second alternative was, well, we booked some backup flights the next day. We'd come to the airport just to find out our flight was canceled again. And then we found out that not only was our flight canceled, but the backup flight that we booked just in case we thought that this was canceled, that was canceled too. And then the airlines were like, there's nothing we can do. Sorry. So we had to book a hotel in our own dime, on our own money. We had to fend for ourselves, got to a hotel. And throughout it all, we're like, OK, how do we get home? Long story short, spending $3,000 extra, we then had to find new flights to just get seven people back home. And part of me was like, should I share the story? Should I not? Because the emotional trauma that as a husband, as a father, as a son in all three roles that I had to endure that week was unparalleled to anything else. Because I was reminded that no matter how much I had to keep it together, I was reminded that there were two parents that were looking up to me. There were kids that were looking up to me. And there was a wife that was looking up to me because the man oftentimes is put in the situation where everybody's like, what's the answer? Dad, what are we doing? Dad, when are we going back home? I thought we had to be at home already, Dad. [LAUGHTER] The weight of responsibility, kind of so big and you have to just keep this straight face the entire time. And you can't let your children know that you're literally cracking under pressure. You can't let your wife know that you are probably going to have a mental breakdown. You cannot let your parents know that the son that they raised is about to just lose it. But the truth of the fact is that it doesn't matter how spiritual you are, it doesn't matter how strong-willed you are, it doesn't matter how able you are, it doesn't matter what your accomplishments are. When push comes to shove, you are put in moments where your grit is tested, where the pressure of responsibility literally tears you apart to the point where you feel like, who am I? And what am I doing where I am? And this morning, I was asked by John to bring to a culmination the men's conference. We've been talking about some hard-hitting subjects. And he said, Pastor, would you breathe into our men? So the 52 weeks out of the year, I'm picking one week to speak to men today. And some women were like, ugh. But I want to let you know this is for you, too. Because we are in a moment in history where there's this bad supply and demand issue, where the demand for men is so high and the supply is low, any women want to agree with me? No, all the single women in the room, can you say an amen? You're like trying to look for godly men and you are like knocking on every door. You're like presenting yourself at every opportunity and you only meet weirdos. Anybody? Come on. Hello? And men are like, come on, Pastor. That's why you do us like that. Matter of fact, today I want to encourage some men. I want to speak life into some men. And I also want some women. I want to help you out here into understanding why men behave the way they do sometimes. Why they don't behave the way they do. I just want to open up some stuff and have a conversation. Is that OK? And I just want to talk about my heart today. Psalms 1 and verse 1, the Bible says this. "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers." I love this verse. I love the chapter. It's a beautiful depiction of what God requires of a godly person. Yes, the word man is used in that picture. And for today's dialogue, I would probably be using that particular word to kind of summarize this message or bring this message to a somewhat of a framework where I speak to the hearts of some men today. Someone demonstrates a progression of how a godly man or a godly woman can be drawn away from God. Yes, I said it. A godly man and a godly woman have the propensity to be drawn away from God because of many things that are around you. If you walk in the midst of the wicked and end up lingering more than you should, you will end up standing in places you shouldn't stand. I want you to hear me. Walking leads to standing. When you spend enough time standing, when you stand long enough, either one of two things happen, you either get comfortable standing and you're like, man, or you're like, OK, you know what? I'm comfortable in this conversation. Let's go and take this conversation somewhere. Let's go sit down in a place. So you either get comfortable in the conversation, you get comfortable standing, or you get tired of standing. And it's not long before you end up sitting down with people that you shouldn't sit with. It's a progression. It doesn't happen overnight. You don't land in situations. You land in with a twinkling of an eye. You don't. It happens gradually. What do I mean by that? It's like when I go to Costco. I leave the house, and Sonia has given me a list. You buy this, and this, and this, and this. And it'll total up to $33.59. That's all it should cost you. But on the way, that list gets more and more. And then once I get to the store and try those samples, and I see that backscratcher. And I'm like, I need that backscratcher. That looks pretty good. Oh, that t-shirt. I need that t-shirt. Come on, it's on sale. Like a dollar lesser than it should be. Come on, somebody. I do need-- so what ends up happening is that thing that should have cost you $34.49. Ends up costing you $399.99. And you're just happy that you didn't spend $400. And you patch yourself. Anybody been there before? Why? Because when you walk among certain paths, you do some window shopping, and you see some things that are attractive. And when you walk, if you do not stick to your focus list of what you want, come on, am I talking to somebody, you end up lingering and standing and ending up in places that's literally going to pull you in and suck you in and say, buy me, get me, watch me, talk to me, text me, keep texting me. But the problem with that is the more you stand, the more the possibility that you get comfortable with the places that you stand in. The Bible says, bless is a man who walks not in the council. We get to this progression. You walk. And then once you start walking, you stand. And when you stand, you begin sitting. So I just want to break this down today, because we all are walking through seasons where these seasons try to pull us in. Whether it be the cable news that we watch, whether it be the Twitter feeds or the Facebook posts or the Instagram stories, the YouTube channels, the video channels, it might be the subscriptions that you have, the Google searches, the emails, attacks. Every day, you and I as Christians and believers, and I'm speaking to men today, you are drawn and you are immersed in a sea of information. And most of it, it reflects what I would call the council of the wicked. There's no denying today that we live in the midst of one of the most wicked times in history. The Bible reminds us that wicked is the heart of man. And no matter who we are or where we're from or what country we live in, wickedness is running rampant in our society. And the world will make it a point to make sure that every message that is directed at us and conveyed to us comes with its sense of gravitational pull that will pull us in and make a stand in places and avenues that we should not or do not belong in to begin with. We can't escape it. We can't ignore it. We cannot insulate ourselves against it. It begins to shape our hearts. It begins to shape our minds. It squeezes us into the world's mode. And it's why we find ourselves so anxious, depressed, afraid, and always finding the need to stay relevant and to keep up with the world. The Bible says the council of ungodly men will stray us from the purpose and the blessings that God has in store for us. What other voices that you listen to? When you start walking with people, you start talking to them. You don't simply walk with people. The people that you walk with, you talk to. When you start talking to the people that you walk with, you begin trusting the people that you walk with. Come on. Nobody is weird enough to just keep walking with people that you don't trust. If you do, I've got to pray for you. If you walk with people that you're like pastor, I'm just scared for my life, but I just keep walking with them. We've got to-- there's something going on in that situation. We've got to pray for you. But very naturally, the people that you walk with, the people that you talk with regularly, are people that you trust. And when you start trusting these voices, what ends up happening is you begin believing everything that comes out of them. And I'm talking about news outlets. I'm talking about Facebook groups. I'm talking about Twitter feeds. I'm talking about people at your job. You trust them. Maybe that's right. Maybe I need to take what they say to heart. Someone once said this. There are two quick ways to disaster. One is you take everyone's advice. And B, you take no one's advice at all. You care about what everybody says. You care about what everybody feels, what everybody thinks. I have three beautiful daughters. Two of them are coming of age, if I may. One of them is eight years old, and she thinks that she's 18. So right before going to school, she looked at her mom and she said, "I want bangs." She didn't ask me, 'cause if she did, I would have said, "No." 'Cause not because of anything else. I think she looks cute, but I'm not ready for her to have-- Come on, any dad in the room and you have a daughter, you're not ready for them to grow up as fast as they are. But she wanted bangs, and she came up to me after she got her bangs, and she's like, "Dada, how do I look?" And I'm like, "Mm, I want to say cute, but I don't like the speed at which you're growing. You feel me, right?" Jeff, it's hard. But as soon as the five-year-old saw that the eight-year-old had bangs, the five-year-old said, "I want bangs too. That's not fair." And Sonia knows, and I know more than Sonia knows that a five-year-old should not be having no bangs. So Sonia said, "You know what, I need her quiet, I need her calm." So she did some snip-snip, and she said, "That's your bangs." No bangs, but she convinced her that she had bangs. So the five-year-old comes to church, and she goes everywhere else, and she sees everybody looking at the eight-year-old and say, "Wow, I like your bangs, but nobody's observing her bangs. Thank you, everybody at church." So this morning, I have a conversation with my five-year-old, and she says, "Dad, I want my bangs to look like Mickey's bangs, because no one is telling me that I look cute." It's this constant need for I want to be them, I want to be her, I want to be him, I want to have the cars they have, I want the success that they have, and men begin to be pulled into this gravitational pull of saying, "Man, I got to be influenced." And unless I check this box and this box and this box, and this box off, maybe I'm not a man. Maybe I'm not living up to the standards. This is beautiful Danish proverb that says, "He who builds according to everyone's advice will have crooked house." And some of us are so leaning towards people's opinions, and they're approvals that no matter what God has to say about us, or what we believe about ourselves is what God has told, we don't care about that. We care what people think about, we want everybody's opinion, we want everybody's thoughts. Men, I want to speak to somebody today. That's why in Psalm one and verse six of opposites, for the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction. If you are walking righteous, remember God's eye is upon you. You live for the audience of one. The pressure that this world offers, it's not going away, Christian man. It is not going away, the need to succeed, the need to be a man, the need to be manly, the need to check off things if you want to be a manly man. All those things are things that will come, and things that will go, but if I can root my approval, my percentage in the eyes of God and say, "I live for the audience of one." The ways of the righteous are ordered by the Lord. Here's the thing about wickedness. You can stray into wickedness. You can walk into wickedness, but once you find yourself in wickedness, you can't stray away from it. You cannot walk away from it because the moment you start walking away, wickedness has its way of hooking you right back to it. The imagery of wickedness, the voices of wickedness, it comes in different ways and forms and men. You know exactly what I'm talking about. And that is why the Bible says, don't walk away from wickedness, flee from wickedness. Y'all, if you are trying to walk away from wickedness, it's a lose, lose, you are going to lose, listen to me. If you know and if you've lingered for too long and if you stood alone for too long, it's probably that point where you have to tell yourself, "Wait now, we gotta run, we gotta dart, we gotta get out of this situation that we're in, we are not gonna allow the enemy to lead us to destruction." Come on, I'm not talking to somebody today. As a Christian man, wickedness should disgust you. The sight of wickedness, the sounds of wickedness, the feelings of wickedness, the environments of wickedness, it should disgust you to the point where you're like, "Man, I'm not comfortable walking in this anymore." I ended up in it, I'm going through it. But the Bible says a blessed man does not stand in the way of the sinner. Now, I wanna clarify, that doesn't mean you're standing in the way as in you're blocking sinners. No, that's not what it means. It means you're actually walking with them. You're walking hand in hand with sinners. The word stand means linger, it means to entertain. If you walk in the path of bad advice, you will soon start standing among those who give it. Someone once said this and it's so apt, if you're not careful walking through a farm of cows, you'll find yourself standing in muck. When you walk through a farm with cows or they're all over the place, they don't respect you, they're gonna poop wherever they want to. And your feet are gonna end up in places they're not supposed to end up in, if you're not careful. In 1 Corinthians chapter 15, the Bible says, "Bad company corrupts good character. For so many of us, God has created us the way that we're supposed to be, but yet the ways of the world and the places we stand in and walk in have corrupted our hearts and minds and changed our attitudes so much that without our knowledge, we have become people and men that we're not supposed to be. Young men that are listening to me, middle-aged men that are listening to me, some men that have lived a while, if you're listening to me, you know what I'm talking about. And I'm not advocating, I'm not saying that you can't be friends with unbelievers, that's not what I'm saying. In fact, Jesus Christ was known as a friend of publicans. That's what the Bible says, he didn't hang out with them because he wanted to be like them. Indeed, he hung out, instead he hung out with them because he wanted them to be like him. If your motivation to hang out with your unbeliever friends is that eventually you want them to know the Christ in you, y'all, go the way you're going because I know that is witnessing the gospel. But if you have no motivation, if you have a friend, and I'm being very honest, men listen to me loud and clear. If you are regularly hanging out with another man or a group of men that you have no intention of leading to Christ through your own example or through your own witness, you're in bad company, brother. Can I, is that okay to be honest here? Or if you're a young man sitting over here and you're like, man, I'm not married, you're a young guy and I'm telling you this. If you're in a relationship with a girl, or if you're a young girl sitting over here and if you're in a relationship with a guy that does not love Jesus, that does not have a relationship with Jesus, and you're just hoping somewhere down the line, maybe they will meet Jesus. I'm talking to your heart today. Please save yourself of heartbreak, okay? Lead them to Jesus first. Minister to them. Bring them to the point of salvation and then commit your life to them because if their life is not committed to Jesus, your life will be miserable if you commit your life to them. Christians who move the world are the ones who don't let the world move them. So important. Are you careful where you stand? Are you careful what you stand for? Do you believe in what you stand for? Gone are the days that men stood up for what they believed in. And I'm empowering the church today. First Corinthians chapter number 16, verses 13 and 14, it says this, you ready for this? I want you to watch this. It says, be watchful. Stand firm in the faith. He's talking to men and he says this. He says, act like what? Men. Ooh, come on somebody. Paul is admonishing us and saying, act like men. Be strong. Let all that you do be done in love. A powerful teaching. Haven't you heard? Be a man. That's something that the world tells you. Be a man. But Paul is saying a slightly different tone. He's saying, act like a man. I wanna just clarify. Act like a man that doesn't mean put on a facade. It doesn't mean be somebody that you're not. That's not what act means. It's not a theatrical performance that Paul is referring to. He's basically saying, be a man or walk in the function of a man of how God created you to be. Am I talking to somebody? When it says act like a man, it's God created you to be this person, but you're not so act like a man. Like masculinity in the Bible is so different and this is where men are like, man, who am I? What is a man? And here's what I want. I want girls to help me out here. And I want guys to listen very carefully. For ever, masculinity has been tried to be defined by society, by culture, to be a set of rules and expectations from us males. What does that mean? Okay, if you're a man, you should be this. You should do this, you should do that. You should earn this much money. By this age, you should do that. You should own a house, blah, blah, blah. You should provide. You should have these many kids. There's so many norms that society is put upon the image of a man. What is a man? Like if I look at it from the Bible's perspective, there's this man called Isaac in the Bible. God says, I will bless you with children, and God gives him two children, two boys. These two boys, they come out at the same time, they're twins, and they come out at the same time. One, his name is Esau, and the other one, he's called Jacob, two boys. And for those of y'all who probably know twins, we probably have some that are twins. We have a family here, they're twins, but they're boys. They look absolutely alike. But if you study some people in personality, they're so different. These two boys were not the same at all. If you study these two boys, Isaac had two sons, these two sons, this boy called Jacob. He's his great hero of the Bible. Out of him would come 12 tribes, that then would go on to become Israel as we would know it. But this guy was not a manly man. He didn't fit into the description of what GQ would call a man. Please listen to me. What outdoors magazine would call a man. Here's a dude that he was not a hunter, he was not a sportsman, he did not like sports, he didn't, he wasn't a warrior, he didn't shoot deer, he didn't brandish swords, he didn't, he didn't have any of that stuff. My dude, he was Mama's boy. Okay, he loved the cooking channel. He loved HDTV. Come on. He read GQ magazine. He loved dressing up, he loved his clothes. He was a man of God. All of this was true about his personality, but yet he was a man that produced 12 tribes would then become the face of what we call Israel. Did all of that make him less of a man? And then came another twin. And you look at this dude, and you're like, are you really his brother? 'Cause here he is with his scruffy beard and he's his hunter and he goes fishing and he's an outdoorsman. He's on the cover of outdoor magazine and he likes tackle football and he's on your fantasy football league and he goes and hunts and he brings back home food for the family, that's the kind of guy he is. Like think about God's view of man, it's pretty wide. And yet so many of us require our men to be like other men. So many of us want the image that we have of our husband or our father figure is always boxed in a particular idea of masculinity and we have these expectations of men and I'm like, where do you get them from? It's what society in grains within us should be a man. But God says, man, I created your husband. I created your father. I created him in my own image and likeness, self forcing your son to be somebody that he's not. There's a fine line that separates fatherly love from abuse, from pushing somebody to extremes that God has not created them to be. You can be a Jacob and you can be an Esau and both of them are blessed by God. There's this pressure of society. Women, remember, you married the man that you married because of who he was, not you who you want them to be. So many women think that you could change your man as soon as you get married. Now, man, we are a hard nut to crack. Come on, am I talking to somebody? Not as they're saying, we can't change men. We have to be soft, we have to change, but women, we gotta understand that each one of us men, we were created in the image of God so specifically and intricately and there are good things in us and there are not good things in us. And in all of that, remember that God's thumbprint and handprint is on us. Stop comparing your husband to somebody else's husband. Stop comparing your father to somebody else's father and there, I'll bring it. Second, first king's chapter number two. Is this helping somebody? Y'all mad at me as yet? First king's chapter number two versus two and three. You know, David is about to die and David says this, "I am about to go to the way of all the earth," he said. So be strong, act like a man. Like imagine that, right? Your dad is on his deathbed and he looks at you and says, "I have one last piece of advice for you." Act like a man. I'm like, whoa, that hurt. Like, wasn't I a man all this time? No, but look at his heart. He says, "And observe what the Lord your God requires. Walk in obedience to him and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and regulations as written in the law of Moses. Do this so that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you go." You see, it has nothing to do with a beard. It has nothing to do with the money you make or the success you have or the houses you have or the cars you have or the number of children you produce. Be a man has everything to do with your identity in the God that made you. What is he think of you and what do you think of him? That's it. Y'all, this is... Father, help me today. Act like a man is going back to your purpose with what God created you to be. Digging deep in and saying, "Who am I?" Like, Jeff, "Who am I?" Tino, like asking yourself, "Who is Tino?" "Who is Steven?" Like asking yourself, "Nobody else can define that for you." Go into the Scripture and ask God, "God, who am I?" What? I need to go back to the basics, God, correct what I need to correct God. God created them male and female. That's what the Bible is saying. And today, society wants to do away with that. Disney has a goal. They're trying to do away with gender altogether. They don't want any difference to be there between male and female. Their goal in the next 10 years is that 50% of their regular characters will represent the LBGTQ community. 50%. The society around us is trying to indoctrinate the minds of little children. Like, get that. The government is trying to make sure that they tell us who we're supposed to be. Society is telling us you could be what you want to be. When you wake up tomorrow, you decide. Don't let God tell you who you are. Don't let the Bible tell you who you are. Don't let the church tell you. Don't let your pastor force you into that. You be who you want to be. They're pushing sex change, surgery, and hormone therapy for children. And there's a war going on, and we need more men with necks to stand up and say things that are right and that are wrong and say, "I am a man." And God created me in His image and His likeness. And this is who I am. It's not for you to change every single day. Men, you are not a woman. Let's make that clear. My kindergartener does not need to be taught that there are multiple genders. It is male and it is female. God created them. I was born that way. That's perfect. God has a plan for me. And if some of you all struggle with that in this room, the Bible says, "Be born again." When you are born again of Jesus, you will have a life that is different and transformative. And today I pray that you will be able to enjoy that life in Christ Jesus. I want to just share this last part. And then I'm going to pray and I'm going to close. Yeah, men need to act like men. But what does that even mean? What does it mean to walk through this world? Because the Bible says, "Though you live in this world, you are not of this world." What does that mean? That means you and I have a job and a responsibility to walk through this world. That's our job. That's our responsibility. We've been given tasks and responsibilities. And as we do this, we've got to make sure that we are careful as to where we park. Where we pause. Where we stop. Where we allow our lives to be influenced by. What we are influenced by. But in order to understand how to act like men, it's also important to understand how we are not supposed to act or who we are not created to be. Josh Howardson has a lot of material on this, and he hits the nail right on his head when he says, "Men are not animals." In order for you to understand who you are, you have to understand who you're not. And he says, "Let's start by this." By the other thing that God created around the same time that God created men. And that was animals. And guess what? The world wants to think that you're an animal. Once you'd think that you're an animal. Oh, what an animal you are, brah. But guess what animals are? Man, animals are ruled by their desires. When they're hungry, they eat. When they're angry, they fight. When they're tired, they sleep. When they're aroused, they mate. And sometimes when they're too hungry and desperate, they eat their own offspring. Some of them. That's animals. You're not an animal, man. I don't care what the world says. I don't care what toughness looks like. I don't know what the image of man is skewed out to be today. But if a man does not understand his value in God, man, there are some men that are running amok today. Because their understanding of man or the definition of man is a manly man, is a man that eats the most food. A manly man is the one that drinks the most beer, wins the most fights, beds the most women, and convinces that women to kill the children in their womb because they don't want to father them. There I said it. We're not animals. That's not what God created us to be. I refuse to live like that. I'm okay if I'm not tough. I'm okay if I don't eat 180 hot dogs. I'm okay if, man, I don't shut down gallons of beer. I'm okay if I'm not the most amazing person or the person of the party that makes the party go on and on. I'm okay if I'm not in the limelight all the time. I don't need to prove anything to anybody. Like we need more men that can step up and say, I'm okay with being who God created me to be. Men are not animals, men are not boys. You don't understand who you are as men unless you understand who you're not and men are not boys and a lot of men have not understood that they are men because they have not left boyhood as yet. Some guys are like putting their heads down. They're not liking what I'm saying. Why, pastor? Because boys get what they always want. Why do you say that, pastor? Because boys cry when they don't get their way. You know the message that boys will communicate? They're kids. The message they communicate is you are responsible for me. You feed me. You clothe me. You buy me the Jordans. You buy me the candy. You changed my diapers. Come on, am I talking to somebody? That's the mentality of boys. And you look at them and you go, oh, cute. If there's any man in this room that requires somebody's approval and they need to look at you and say, you're cute, we have a problem. We do men because men on the other hand have this model that God gives in the Garden of Eden. God creates men and women and he looks at men and he gives them a garden and he says, tend to it. He gives them a job. He gives them a job and then the Bible says he left his wife. You leave your wife. Sorry, so you leave your -- don't leave your wife, please. You leave and cleave. I corrected myself. That's not going to go on Instagram. Come on. You leave and cleave, so you leave your parents. You leave your daddy and mommy issues and you cleave to your wife. And then they will become what? So, men, don't even try becoming one flesh without getting a job in the first place. Oh, my gosh, I said it. So many of us trying to get to the last stage. You want babies, but bro, you don't even have a job. Tend to your garden first. Tend to the small things that God has put in front of you. What makes a man a man is that you've got to leave boyhood behind child likeness. Leave that behind and God is looking at you and saying you have a responsibility. It works on that level. It says job, leave, cleave, and then be intimate. What's the difference? Boyhood, everyone else is responsible for me. Manhood, you become responsible for everybody else. That's the difference. But the moment responsibility comes upon you, you shy away from it. The moment, even Ayota, responsible, he's put in front of you the pressure of that cracks you and that's what makes men, men, God has given us that burden to shoulder that weight of responsibility. And I need some men to say, you know what? I need to be what God, and please don't misunderstand. I don't want this to be a man. I just want to pulverize you into a pulp session because that's not my intention. My intention is not for you to leave this place with your ego's bruised because from the time I started preparing this message, I was like, Lord, I want to be sensitive about that. I don't want anybody leaving this place and saying, man, I just feel hurt. Instead, I hope that you will find my heart behind this. How then did you act like men? Let me give you four things real quick and we'll close. Godly men will commit to joyful obedience. You know, in John chapter 6, verses 66, after many of his disciples, after many men turned back and no longer wanted to walk with Jesus, Jesus asked his 12, do you want to go away as well? Simon Peter answered him and said, Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life and we have believed in you. Men that are listening to me, a godly man begins and ends with his relationship and you're defined by your relationship with your maker. We live in a society where the option is ours. There are many men that are turning their backs on Jesus. There are people that will attend church on Sunday mornings, that will do all the Christian stuff, they will check all the boxes, but yet they turn their backs on Jesus day after day. And out of that is a group of 12 men that will step up and say, my allegiance to Christ is what matters more than anything else in this world, and I will put it first and foremost. You, trust me when I tell you this, you will not be known for your cars. You will be not known for your hobbies or all the good stuff, all that's great, all that's dandy, how many children you had, and how many billers you own, all that's awesome. At the end of the day, you will be known by the fact that if you were a man of God or not. The second thing is this, he commits to spiritual discipline. Godly man commits to spiritual discipline. The Bible says Jesus modeled it for us, rising up early in the morning. While it was still dark, Jesus departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed. Man, can I tell you what the most sexiest thing about a Christian man is? Somebody's like, whoa, yeah, I'm going to let you in on this. You all ready? Here it is. When you wake up in the morning, be the first one to be up in your family. Wake up, be the first one to wake up. Go make your coffee, coffee in one hand, open your Bible, sit on your breakfast table, and start studying the word. When your wife wakes up in the morning, when your kids wake up in the morning, getting ready for school, let the first thing they see be a man that is devoted to God, the study of the Word of God. More than anything you do, more than the money you bring home, more than your dashing good looks, more than your height and the physique you have, and more than your kindness and more than your gentleness, and all of that is great. But a man that loves and is devoted to God is more attractive than anything you can do to be a man that the world wants you to do. Can I hear some woman say amen to that or is that not true? You're not married if you're looking for a man. Please look for a man that loves Jesus more than he loves you. Because if your man loves Jesus more than he loves you, he will love you fiercely. He will love you fiercely. The third point, I'm almost done, y'all, third point is this. Men, you're not the weaker vessel. Now, I want to pause real quick and I want to tell you this. I want to be as sensitive to this as I can be. I am not degrading women. I am trying to bring this to a piece of understanding of scripture that you can fully understand what Paul means, or what Peter means, sorry, in first Peter chapter number three and verse seven where the Bible says, likewise husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way. You know, it's crazy. Prince, it doesn't say understand your wife because that's not possible at all. You can't understand your wife. Men, can I hear a name? They're hard to understand, y'all. But it says, live with them in an understanding way. How show honor to the woman as the weaker vessel? What does that mean? That means there are different vessels that are used for different purposes. The purpose with which God created you, your vessel is different from the vessel that God created the woman to do. Two different uses altogether. If you have a hot day and you're going out somewhere and you need some water and you need it cold, you'll get those big old jugs. What do they call it? The Arctic, have you all seen those big ones that insulated? I'm sorry. The igloos, the big ones. They have this big lid on it. It's heavier than, you know, anything that you're like, you're drunk. You're walking. See, the role of that is different from a champagne glass. Nobody in their right mind will take a champagne glass of water. Hot day to the park. Come on, am I talking to somebody? You might be out of your mind. The roles in the response and how God created us as vessels are so different. And God says, you know what? I created woman as a helpmaid, which means you don't have it together, man. I created them so beautifully that you may think that you have it together, but you really need them to come full circle. And there are things, the delicate things of life, that only they can fulfill, and they can bring into peace. Like, does that make sense? But it doesn't make them weaker. God created us equal man and woman in row, in response, in who we are, in an image and likeness. He created us like him. But God looks at you and says, it's not that she's less. Like, if you look at my marriage, you wouldn't think that my wife is a weaker vessel because she is strong. She is independent and she expects me, though, to be stronger. It doesn't matter how strong an independent she is. She still looks up to me and says, I need you to be the man. So being the stronger vessel means that's what God has put on your shoulders, the responsibility of it. And He has given you the ability to do it. God makes a clear distinction. And the last thing I want to leave with you men, stand up to your feet with me, stand up to your feet with me. Here's the fourth thing I want to leave with you. Godly men lead their family. Godly men lead their family. You know when the snake got to Eve, Eve may have been the first person to grab the fruit. But who was held accountable? Adam was held accountable. Why? Why was Adam accountable for something because it was his family? He was responsible. He was the person that God said, hey, I gave you this wife to tend and to care and to lead. Husbands, He gives us the responsibility to lead. So why did Adam, why did Adam have to be punished? Because Adam allowed too much access. Adam did not have the ability to say no when he should have said no. He didn't speak up when it was needed. Men, we need to speak up when we need to speak up. Can I talk to somebody? I'm going to close with this, but you're going to like this. Men and women, you're going to like this. It helps a woman understand some things. And I'm going to take some weight off some men today. You know, for men, we tend to bury trauma and emotions and anything else that is necessary to remain safe within his thoughts and his feelings. That's what we do. Why? Because burying problems is a badge of manhood. It's a myth, y'all. It's a myth. That's why so many of us are 42 and we look 95. Some of y'all didn't catch that. Why? Because we've been just walking around with weight, we shouldn't walk around. Walking around with trauma and death and emotions that have died, a hundred deaths, and we're walking around with it because we were never taught to express ourselves. Because forever we've heard, be a man. Stop crying. What those tears away? Don't be a girl. I don't mean it as in an insulting way. I have three girls. I don't mean it in an insulting way, but that's how men are supposed to act. That's what we were taught. Shake it off. Get up. Wipe your tears. Don't express yourself. Don't be a sissy. And here's a wife saying, "Babe, express yourself to me like I express myself to you." No, no, bro. We can't. I wish we can, but I can't express myself to you like you express yourself to me because I wasn't raised like you. We were told not to. Like, I can go on a trip out of town and I can come back after two days, and my wife will be like, "Hey, how's the trip?" And I'm like, "Great." And that's three days' worth of man. It was an awesome trip. I wish you were on it. I loved it. I went to the mountains. I went to the valleys. I went to the fishing, and I went golfing. Everything is surmised in that one word. Man, great. But for women, they will take three days to tell you about their three-day expedition. Come on, women. Man, anybody with me on that one? We're just built that way. We were never taught to take three days to talk about our emotions. In fact, we were told to bury them, and today, you know, we get older and then we realize that what we've been holding on to has been killing us. So guess what? When we really have to emote, when we have to release, what ends up happening is we cuss, and we go off, and we storm out of the room, and we start throwing things, and we throw things at you, and we punch walls, and we punch you. And I want to stop right now. I do not condone physical, domestic violence. That is not from God, but guess what? That ends up happening to the best of Christian men. Why? Because it's all bottled up. It's all just burning and bubbling within, and we just don't have a release. So men, I want to speak into your lives, and I want to just tell you this morning, teach yourself to emote in a healthy way. No, I'm not telling you to go from zero to three days. I'm not. But I'm telling you that your wife needs your emotion. Your partner, your significant other needs, your emotion for unmarried men and women here today, this message is for you too. When you marry a man, let me prepare your hearts for this. When a man does start talking, and if he's vulnerable and honest with you, stop punishing him for being honest and vulnerable. Don't say things like how dare you think that way, or how dare you did that, or stop being judgmental. Stop creating an environment where your husband cannot learn to express himself without being vulnerable, without being punished. That's all I have, y'all. And I just pray in my heart that at least one person got this message today. I was talking to both men and women, both. At least one person in this room said, "Pastor, I need to hear that." Psalms 1 and verse 1 ends with this. It says, "A blessed man does not sit in the seat of scoffers." You know why that's important? Because Ephesians 2, 6 says, "Where man shoots him?" It says, "And raised, he raised us up with him, and we are seated with him in heavenly places in Christ Jesus." We are sons of God. Adopted into his family, men, not for a second, do I want you to understand, to think that you are not worthy, that you are not worth it. God's love is upon you. He loves you so deeply. He cares about you. He cares about your soul. Women, the men that God has put in your life, God has purpose for them, plans for them, and nurture them, tends to them, be their caretakers, care for their hearts, care for their love that they show, or the lack of it they're of. And I pray that if there's somebody here struggling with your emotions, with your feelings, with your heart, I pray that you will get healing in the presence of God for them. I'm going to be available for prayer if there's anybody else that needs prayers. My elders are going to be available for prayer. Please, if somebody needs to be vulnerable, it could be your marriage, it could be your personal life, it could be something you're struggling with. It doesn't even relate at all. It might be something that you're just praying about and your job. We're here to pray for. Like we do every Sunday, I'm going to pray for you. I'm going to release you. I'm going to say the benediction. I'm going to set you on your way. Please make sure that you stop by and register for A in life. I'd love to see you, part of it. Father, we thank you for this evening. Father, we surrender, we give ourselves to you. Would you do a beautiful work in our hearts and in our lives? Every soul that is struggling in this place, with identity, every soul that is struggling with acceptance, with their emotions, with their past, we lay it at your feet. God, you are able, you are powerful, you are all mighty. We ask that you will be their God, that you will be their strength, that you will be their refuge, that you will be their bulwark in times of trouble. We give you praise, we give you glory. I thank you for every man in this room, every woman in this room. I thank you because you created us man and woman so different, but yet so united. And I thank you for your purpose of family. Thank you for listening. We love bringing you the word in so many different platforms, and we are so thankful for what God is doing in and through us. We'd love for you to subscribe so you don't miss out, and don't forget to share this message if it has blessed you. (upbeat music) [BLANK_AUDIO]
