Welcome back to that gym couple podcast. That's my line. I know I've stolen it. No. Hello everyone and welcome back to that gym couple podcast. I used to bike out and Lucy. Yeah. You good? Yeah, I'm all right. Thank you. A bit deflated today. Oh, let's not start the podcast on a bad note again. No, it's not. I'm not saying it's just like everyone thinks I'm this like little sad bean all the time. It's just, it's so funny because as soon as we sit down to record, you're just kind of like, yeah, I think it's because it's like the first time chance you had today to kind of like stop and like just sit down and like, I am. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, it's just a lot going on. It's a, it's a crazy life we do lead. We are off to Poland tomorrow. All right. Your turn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, positivity. Let's bring it. Yeah. Yeah. We are going to Poland tomorrow on Kalam's rugby tour. Yeah. No, it's not like that. I hate saying that because I feel like people like, why on earth would you be going on a rugby tour? You controlling psycho girlfriend. It's not that he begged me to come. Yeah, I do. I do like having you there. It's good fun. It's not like your proper team. Anyway, it's like beach rugby. So it's very relaxed. Yeah. People are bringing their kids, their wives, their mums. Yeah. So it's not, it's not what you think when you say rugby tour. No, it's not at all. But it is still a lot of fun. And it's going to be what I'm excited about is that the weather forecast for Saturday on the day of the tournament is 27 degrees rather than the torrential rain we had last year in the Isle of Wight. I, on the other hand, are not too happy about it being 27 degrees because that's not going to be fun. Yeah, I know. I was texting your sister about this this week. And she was like, why would anyone want to play rugby on the beach, let alone. And then in 27 degree, I was like, yeah, I'll just be on the side with a nice bit. I think a nice cold beer. No, you won't. Spectators. You will not be drinking. Why not? Excuse me. You'll be running the water on. Yeah. You're one hand. You're the official photographer. You've got to be snapping pics. Oh, I will be. I did a great job of it last year. I did finish it. Yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun. We're going Thursday to Monday. So yeah, we've got a couple of days. It is. But then we've got a little bit of time after, so like Sunday and Monday morning, we can just do our own thing and relax. So looking forward to that. I'm quite looking forward to seeing Poland. You know, it's not, wouldn't necessarily be on my list of places to go, just because as soon as I want to go, I wouldn't say like that was like top of my list. But the fact that I'm going to get to go experience a new country. So I said to you, it wasn't like it's another one to take off the list. Yeah, absolutely. You know, I've been twice now and I've really enjoyed both times. So what the beach is like there? It's like a lovely sandy beach. What's the sea temperature? Pretty cold. It's called the Baltic Sea for a reason. Well, it's called the Baltic Sea. You've never heard of the Baltic Sea. Name all the seas, you know. Pacific. That's an ocean. What? The sea is an ocean. The Pacific, the Atlantic. Yep. That's another ocean. Is there a Red Sea? Yep. That's all I know. That's the only three. I thought there was just two, to be honest, but I heard you say the Red Sea the other day, so that made me feel. When I say the Red Sea. I don't know. Weird. So what else is there? The Black Sea, the Indian Ocean. Oh yeah, the Indian Ocean. Wait, so there's seas and oceans. What's the difference? I'm looking into a geography lesson now. Because you don't know. No, it just seems like it's going to be... No, genuinely like that's baffled me. I would think how big an ocean is. Yeah. And how big a sea is. I don't know, there was a difference. That's true, fair enough. So I think oceans are typically larger than seas. That's mad. Which is nuts because actually they're all just connected anyway. Exactly. Except for like, well, I guess they're connected by rivers. I've never heard of Baltic Sea. Is there a Black Sea? Yes, I did just say that. Did you? Yeah. Black Sea, Red Sea. Yeah. Caribbean. Yeah, that's just a country. That's not even a country. I really hope your mom's not listening to that. She's like, oh no. Of course she is. Every time. Anyway, every day is a learning date. We're all smart in our own ways. So what are we talking about this week? So this week we are going to touch a little bit on social media and I think dealing with negative people in your life. They can kind of go hand in hand, I guess. Oh, they absolutely can, yeah. We just, we didn't want to just say, let's talk about negative people on social media because we could be if a day is talking about that, I suppose. But just how to deal with negative people in your life in general. It's quite a relevant topic, I would say, for right now as well. But yeah. Let's get into the episode. Also, just quickly, wherever you are listening or watching this episode from, please be sure to give us a like, comment, maybe even share it with someone you think might enjoy it because it really does help us grow our little podcast platform that we're creating. Exactly. We appreciate every single one of you. We do indeed. So social media, what would you say your experience with social media? I mean, social media is a big term, isn't it? Yeah. But I think when we say social media, we're probably talking about Instagram, maybe TikTok. Instagram primarily because that's what we use. Yeah. Facebook, I don't feel like attracts much. I mean, my experience with social media has only really become prevalent in my life in the last sort of couple of years while I've been focusing more on this online coaching malarkey. So prior to that, it was just purely for me to, like when I got Instagram, for instance, it was purely for me to just post personal things, not even for anyone else. It was just things that I liked or did or, you know, saw, which is why my early days of Instagram, where it was just a mismatch of, yeah, right. And that's what it was invented for really. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Obviously you were there probably when it first came out. Yeah. All right. I actually got Instagram a little bit later, not like super late, but it wasn't something that had my eye on like straight away. Obviously Facebook, Bibo, all that and my space for a little bit. But yeah, I mean, we grew up with it, didn't we? Like 90s. I don't really know the dates, but I think we very much were in a generation where it was up and coming, like you say, my space, Bibo, Facebook. Yeah, it was all like early 2000s. It kind of popped off. So yeah. Obviously, that was the way you stayed in touch with your friends and stuff outside of school. You know, you'd come home and jump straight on Facebook or Bibo or whatever and just ever some messenger. Remember it being a negative place. If you think about it, though, like Bibo, not that it was negative, but there was this kind of, I guess, comparison and kind of competition in a way that started from there, like give me love. Love for love. Yeah, that was awful. On your page and how many, wasn't it like you had a wall or something? Oh, that was Facebook. No, that was my space you had like, I can't really remember. My space you could pick like top six friends or something like that. And yeah, like you'd compare like who had more love than you on their page. So that was all we're all developing. Things like that. It was always, I remember being a big issue at school and people were getting like real arguments about, you didn't give me love back and blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I think I had a very different experience. You're to you. Talk about your rise, rise to fame on. Well, not just because you haven't had that yet. Does it mean you won't? No, I'm just saying like I haven't had that. Yeah, we've probably had different different different. We've probably had slightly different experiences. I guess, obviously, yeah, like saying about Bibo and love that's kind of transpired now into likes, comments, followers on Instagram. Yeah, I mean, I mean, those that follow me and some that have been there from the beginning will know the story, but it's not really a story. But I actually started my Instagram because I qualified as a PT over the summer in lockdown. And I was sort of aware of the fact that one, we're in lockdown, two, I'm not going to go out fliring or knocking on people's doors. I wouldn't do that even if we weren't in the lockdown. So how on earth do I start getting clients? And I wanted to be an online coach. I didn't want to be a PT. So I was like, makes sense to have an online presence, surely. So like, cool, I'll start an Instagram account, not thinking much of it really, but I was posting pretty regularly. I was posting like home workouts and stuff. And it just kind of started doing really well. Like, it started growing quite quickly. I was getting like a hundred followers a day. I remember every morning opening up the app and I'd have another hundred followers, another hundred followers. And it just went on for like a year until I eventually got to like 40,000 followers. And I was like, you know, it's amazing feeling like your work is paying off and people are interested in your life and doing and you start getting these opportunities to work with brands like my protein, I worked with them pretty early on. And you know, a brand starts sending you clothes and it's like, oh, it's just amazing. And then you start getting clients through the door because you've got more eyes on you, more eyes on you means more eyes on your business means leads leads tender clients. So that got my business off the ground in all honesty. It's amazing. But it's not come without its hardships and its negativity. Like, I think social media is an amazing thing. It can bring so much positivity, but also it brings a lot of negativity as well. And it's, I feel like it's at like an all time high, but like it's like out of control, the trolls that are on social media. Yeah, trolling has just become like this, like people just do it now. And with just no thought of what they're doing, I think. I love it. It's come out of these like, sort of blog, blog style websites, like 4chan and Reddit and stuff like that, where people would just post horrendous things or comment horrendous things just because they could. And because there was this like, especially with 4chan, there was this level of like anonymity that went alongside it because no one knew who you were and everyone was anonymous. So on the back of that, people kind of had this like sense of, well, I can do one to say whatever I want. Even still, I would never, even if I was anonymous, it's just not in my nature to say something nasty. No, of course not. If I've not got anything nice to say, I won't say anything at all. I might think it. I might see a post and think that I don't like it, but I would never comment. Not everyone's like you. And I think now it's become this thing where if someone's doing well, people have a sort of feeling like they need to knock people down. They need to try and knock people down because it's probably an intrinsic thing. And actually, they should probably look at themselves a little bit more because their life isn't necessarily going the way they want to or it's jealousy or whatever it is. I mean, what's that saying? I always say, you never get, you never get put down by people above you in life. And it's true, like, you know, someone who's doing well is never going to look down and be like, you need to sort your shit out. No, because they're just getting along with their life. Yeah. And even if you, if you know, if you've had that experience, people who are listening, they're probably not above your life. They're just giving the image of the art. And I think that also comes at these days. And people are fed up of seeing the same stuff all the time. And I think, don't look at it. No, but it's not, it's not that straightforward. Is it like where stuff comes up on the, from the, of course, yeah, no, I agree, you shouldn't comment and stuff, but where people have been caught out, like people who have been famous on social media and stuff like that, and they've done stuff that's, yeah, it's kind of cancel culture. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And that it's become this kind of like, like, I don't agree with cancel cultures as a whole. No, I don't think that people should necessarily of course, necessarily be canceled entirely. But there's definitely, there should definitely be reparations for people's actions, you know, if they're outright lying or, or they've done something terrible, then yeah, of course there should be, there should be, but it's like these trolls, they're not getting found, like what if they've got nine till five, just because they might have nine till five jobs. So, you know, okay, there's big, they say there's a big influencer, I don't know, thousands and thousands of followers, hundreds of thousands, maybe in the millions, whatever, they get canceled for something they said 10 years ago, which, yes, what they said might have been bad, but you know, council culture, they would end up coming back, they'd just go quiet for a year and then they come back again. They've got good PR teams. Yeah, there's these trolls on social media who just probably go into their job every single day, but then come home and their little keyboard warriors behind the screen saying all sorts of foul things to people that we'll never get. No, but this, this is the thing you do see and hear more and more these days of people who have said something or done something on the internet and have been fired because of it. And essentially, you know, again, could you argue that's part of the council culture sort of thing? Yes, possibly. Is that going to stop that person in the long, long run? Probably not, because what happens is that bitterness just breeds more bitterness. So let's say you posted something, you had a job working in a bank and you were said something online that was really racist or bigoted or something and people found out who you were because, you know, a lot of them use their actual names and, you know, they're always hiding behind private accounts usually. You do see it and people's comments and they're like, man, man, then you're like, oh, who's this person? You click on their name and it's like private and you're like, obviously. But yeah, they use their real names a lot of them and if they don't find, but people find out who these people are and then send it to their employees, employers. So they then, obviously, because of their linked with these places of work, this is partly why a lot of businesses now, when when you get employed, they're like, look, you know, if you have social media, you can put that you work here in your bio or whatever. But just know that, obviously, if you put something up this offensive, you could lose your job from it because it's a it's their brand image they're trying to protect. They don't really care about the the employee that the march, you know, depends on the company, but it's very. They don't want to be associated with someone. Of course, yeah, absolutely. And you see it all the time, you know, it's the same as like celebrities and influencers getting dropped by big brands after they've done something really bad and they're like, oh, we can't work with you anymore. It's fair enough, you know, like, but but I guess some of the comments I get, I wouldn't necessarily see Warren getting fired from your job, like, they aren't nice, like, just to give you an example. But you know, one thing I will always say, if I'm getting trolled, I'm quite happy about it, obviously. It's great. This is what I said to you the other day, Lucy for post up of us running, if you haven't seen, go check out on her Instagram. And it's just running with our vests on. And I think the caption was, we were like looking around as we were running. And the caption was something along the lines of us looking out for the running police, because we're wearing vests on a 5k run or something. Yeah. And it did quite well. Like you had a lot, you've still grown, that's still getting used all the time. So, it's, you know, gone somewhat viral in that respect. And then the comments obviously started coming in because the more people watch it, the more it gets recommended to other people. Then people start commenting, the more and keeps going, keeps going, keeps going, more people are commenting, the better the real is doing. So I'm like, cool. But some of the comments, but it's some of the comments were like just just negative for the sake of being negative. And I said this to you, then I was like, because you're like, oh, it's just some horrible, horrible people on here. They weren't necessarily saying anything personal. They were, it was just general, the comments just weren't necessary. But I said to you, then I was like, it's fine, because it's just engagement. Like, and if anything, it's just sending it to more people and more people and more people. But you know, I think it is, I, the more I think about it, I think that let's say you're on the explore, you're on the reels section of Instagram, because they don't follow me clearly. So they're not seeing it on the main feed. They're probably just scrolling through reels. They don't associate you with a personality or you as a proper person. They don't know you at all. They've just seen a snapshot, which is just a, there's not even you, that's just you making a joke about a situation. Like the people that follow me that know me would never say anything like that, because they have been following me for a while and they know my story, they see my posts every day. But these people that have just seen a 10 second clip of me, cause they're gonna post things like, God, running influencers are insufferable, you're not running, you're jogging, like it's horrible. But I get that they just don't think kind of real person. No, exactly. And I think that's why, because it's behind the screen, they probably don't think as well that it's actually going to be seen by you or by the person who posted. So for the most part, though, I think most people would probably go through most of the comments they get, you know, unless you're getting like thousands on every single thing you posted. You do get, I was getting hundreds and I haven't had time to sit through all of them, but when you do get that one negative, one that pops up, I'm like clicking on it, reading it, having a look at it in detail, reading the replies and I'm like, great. And then obviously you get stuck on that one, but there's hundreds of lovely comments of people being like, yeah, I'm the same, I do this all the time, all guilty. But a classic example of, you know, people just trolling for the sake of it, it's one of the comments, I can't remember what they said exactly, but it was like not necessary, it wasn't needed. And then another influencer replied to them, big influencer. Not mine. Yeah. And responded to them and was just like, you know, they said, nice one. Yeah. Yeah. What are you talking about? You have no idea what's going on in this situation, blah, blah, blah. It's just a video. And he then, the, the person who posted the original comment was, um, was then going in on that, that influencer, just pick up for the sake of it, because he's got a private account, feels these, you know, anonymous and can just sort of say what they want. So they must love it. They must love that their comment is riling people up. Yeah, because I didn't, I think I replied, but I said something like, oh, you just explain this situation. I just gave some context because I was like, he clearly doesn't understand the context, so I'll give him some context. But everyone else was like, who the hell do you think you are? Like being quite nasty to this guy. I don't think two wrongs make a right. So I'm not going to be nasty back. I just don't want to get involved. But people defending me, like it's lovely. But also that person must be like, ha, ha, I've rather a response here. And then it just keeps going and going. I saw something the other day as well. Um, so someone I know, a personal trainer online coach posted something online, tagging, well-known influencer, fitness influencer, and online coach, James Smith, saying basically there's a lot, there's, you know, calories in versus calories out is something that obviously James Smith has been very sort of big on. That was his kind of main thing. That's what really blew him up. And this other online coach says something about this. There are more things that go into it than just calories in versus calories out. Um, you know, research says this, this and this, blah, blah, blah. He had like a diagram up. And James Smith commented, this was on threads, actually. James Smith commented, don't use my name for clout, which I thought was quite funny to be fair. And I think he's probably like, he's just, you know, being James Smith, you know, and then, but then all these comments started coming in and afterwards, because they'd seen that James Smith, they obviously follow him. But that's when his video did the job, it got James Smith to comment on it. Yeah. And this wasn't even the video. This was the original post. And, but all these comments were flooding through being like, you don't know what you're talking about. You haven't got a clue. And like, it was just attacking him for the sake of because someone else had said this. It was just, yeah, exactly. It was just, it's another example of people just jumping on a bandwagon just for the sake of it. So in terms of that's like negativity on social media, obviously, there's loads of other types of negatives, negativity on social media, you know, we could be if our hour was talking about the effects it has on people and things. But in terms of negative people on social media, and negative people in real life, how would you lose two chickens deal with a the first one being negativity on social media, and then with people in real life. I guess the first thing I would think is, do I actually know this person? Do they add anything to my life? Are they someone I know? Is there someone, you know, it's going to hurt a lot more if you get negativity from someone you genuinely care about who someone who's supposed to be your friend, your family, someone who's supposed to care about you? Like, if it, it totally depends what the negativity is. Like, if some people can be negative and it comes from a place of caring, it just might be come out the wrong way and things like that. But like, you know, I had negativity when I first started that account because people thought it was cringy and they didn't get it. And to be completely honest with you, I have cut those people did come from some people that do care about me. And it was a place of probably not understanding what I was doing, that I can forgive. But there has been some people, like some people I went to uni with, they, there was like this one girl in particular, not, I don't want to like go on and on, but she replied to something that I had posted, obviously meaning to send it to someone else. And she sent it to me instead. And she said something like, lol, she's so cringe. What does she think she's doing? And it obviously wasn't meant for me. And it came to me. And I felt for her in that moment, because I was like, you didn't mean send that to me, did you? And she said, sorry, but I've never spoken to her again, because I just think if you'd say that behind my back, you're not someone I need in my life. So I think you have to look at who you surround yourself with. I genuinely, as I get older, particularly people that I'm very particular about the people that are in my life and that were in my circle, I don't need a massive group of friends, just to say I have a massive group of friends. I like to have a small group of people in my circle, friends, family that I know genuinely care about me. Anyone that's going to be negative will try and bring me down. Life is genuinely too short, like I do not need you in my life. So, and when I was younger, I wouldn't have been like that, I was a bit of a people pleaser. But I feel as I get older, I'm just like, no, it's, I don't stand for it. Social media, again, I just, I am quite a sensitive person, so I'd be lying if I said I was just this like stone wall that could just ignore negativity. You've seen me get upset about it. I do love, everyone wants to be like, surely, like I'm what I'm not afraid to say that. But, you know, I don't, I might get upset for a minute, depending on what it is, if it's really personal, yeah, that would upset me. But again, chances I don't know that person, they don't know me, they don't bring, they don't add anything to my life. So just carry on, because for that, for every one negative comment, there's probably 100 nice ones, you have to try and tune into the nice ones. And I'm so good at just ignoring the nice ones, or ignoring the messages I get where people are like, I've been following your journey for like three years, you've inspired me to do this and that. I forget about all of that, and I dwell on the negative, but I might only have 40,000 followers. I'm definitely not an influencer, and I'm very, very small in the terms of social media world. But if I help one or two people or inspire them to do something, that alone should be a reason for me to carry on, not to get bogged down by the negative people. Yeah, I completely agree. There's something that you just said that reminded me of something alone when I was doing my masters in sports performance analysis. So when we reflect back on things, so let's say, for instance, in the sport setting, you play a match and you come back afterwards and you want to reflect on it. I think it's only something like 20% of the good things we remember, and it's something like 60% of the bad things we remember. And that's just the way the human brain is. How many times have you had a gym session that you've come back out of and you've gone, "Oh my god, that was so bad. I couldn't do this, couldn't do this, couldn't do this." Okay, yeah, I did this. But actually, there would have been more things that were beneficial. That's so interesting. And we don't remember them in the moment because we dwell so much on the negativity. I think we're all quite hard on ourselves, and that, what you just said, reminds me of some of my girls that do their weekly check-ins. That's my job to point out the positives. They're so negative sometimes. I have to do it all the time. We've got a section in the check-in, which is, "Give us one win for your week." And the amount of times that I get... I can't think of one. I don't have a win. And I then sit there and I'm like, "Okay, well, that is a win. There's a win. There's a win. There's a win. The fact that you've just done this check-in could be a win. I'm done a check-in for two weeks. You could have, or you've had a really, really tough week this week. You could have buried your head in the sand and just ignored me, ghosted me, not checked in. You have been brave enough to stand on the scales, to take photos, to confront whatever issues you face this week. And then be honest about it. And be honest about it. And be open and honest and show up and say, "I'm willing to move forward." Absolutely. That is a win in itself if you can't find any other wins. But yeah, it's so funny that we do that, isn't it? And we're the same. Like, I'd love to say I practice exactly what I preach, but I'm the same. I'm so hard on myself. We're human at the end of the day. And like, yeah, there are some people who are a lot better at managing their own emotions and those instances of me like, "Well, you know, I tried or I did this and that." But for the most part, we are all so negative on ourselves and our own journeys that, you know, it's really difficult to see anything else. Okay, so how would you deal with negative people in person? So you, let's say, it's difficult for you because you don't necessarily, you're not around people a lot. Right. I'm not a loner. No, no, you're not a loner. But you're self-employed, you're not in an office space or working with loads of colleagues and stuff like that. It'd be interesting to hear from your perspective. I think it's more interesting to hear from your perspective because you are a good point. Okay. Yeah. I'm not around people, but I think I would just, like, from my side, it would be the same as what I just said. Like, I would just appreciate that everyone has their own opinion and just move on. Like, just, you literally just have to be like, "Are you my friend? No. Are you my family? No. Do I have to hang out with you?" No. Move on. Yeah. It's difficult. Like, I've worked with employees in the past who've been, like, proper energy sponges and you arrive at work and you just... Energy is infectious, isn't it? Like, it brings you down or... Yeah. There's been times when I've walked up the stairs into the gym and immediately opened and going through the doors, I've just felt this, like, just thick energy in the room and it's just... Oh, you're very spiritual, aren't you? No, you just, you can just feel it when something's, like, off and then you kind of realize that someone's like, "Bringing the mood down." And you're like, "Okay, right." So, something has obviously happened, and this is what a lot of people don't have the resilience to deal with issues in their life, especially these days. I think we're reliant on too many other external factors to kind of bring us joy and, yeah, sort of that feeling of happiness. Yeah. I was kind of trying to think of something, a different sort of word, but... So, some people just don't have the resilience to actually deal with their own issues in the sense of if you've got things going on at home, try your best not to bring them into places where other people are. I know it can be very difficult to, but it's also so... It's important to talk about your issues, 100%, I'm an absolute advocate for that. It's very important to talk about your issues, but there's talking about it with someone you can confide in and then there's just kind of letting it boil up and not actually talking but just taking it out. I don't know everyone else, yeah. So, to deal with that sort of situation, in particular, if you can distance yourself from that negative person, even if it's just for a day, you know, just or an afternoon or morning, whatever, just to kind of let you and have a bit of space away from that behaviour. Other things you can do, you can just talk to them, I suppose, like, if there's... See what's going on. See if there's something going on. You know, someone's been really negative, there's some very negative people out there, and it's so important to call them out, but in a way that you can try and help them. You know, sometimes people are negative just for the sake of being negative. Sometimes they're negative because they don't like what someone else is doing or don't appreciate what someone else has got instead of them, so it comes down to that jealousy sort of scenario again. Sometimes people are negative because they've got so many things going on in their own lives that they can't actually think about what other people are going through because it's like they're mindful. So, if you're full of negative energy because you have so much negativity around you, it is infectious. So, you're going to bring other people down at the same time. Actually, you can't really, like, change someone necessarily, but you could try and encourage them to make positive change in their life or seek the help that they need. Yeah. As you said, some people are just negative because that's just who they are, but most times, I would say it's because people have things going on. Life is difficult and we have no idea. I think you can't just assume that that's just the way someone is unless they are literally like it all the time, but sometimes you go into a restaurant or you go to a bar, not whatever, go to bars anymore, but go to a pub and you go up to the bar and the person serving you is miserable. They don't smile. They don't say hello. And you think that was horrendous service? First impressions matter a lot. Yeah. And if you work in retail, like, your job is to put on a brave face. It's hard to do that sometimes. And sometimes I'm like, oh my God, the service is horrendous. But then I think, oh, we have no idea what's going on in these people's lives. Like, my mom's just been diagnosed with cancer. It's horrendous. Some days I don't feel like smiling. Some days I don't feel like saying hello, but I do it for my job, but also never judge because you just don't know. Yeah. And you know, someone might have just had a really difficult phone call or conversation or I can't just leave work. Sometimes people, you know, you arrive at work sometimes and people are, they've been there all day. They've been dealing with shitty people, terrible situations, and potentially other negative people in their life or around them have caused them to their mood to drop. And it's very difficult to blame them for that situation. But, you know, don't let it kind of ruin your own day and make the most of it. No, absolutely not. I think you really have to try and help if you can, but also separate yourself from it. And it's not worth like ruining your day over. No. And I think if you think, you know, if you're listening to this and you think, you know what, maybe I am a bit negative. Sometimes I can beat myself up a lot about a lot of things. I can't seem to be happy for a whole day or just there's so many things that are causing me issues and go and speak to someone, go and speak to a therapist or a counselor and get out, unpack it. And you know, you might find that just doing that in itself, especially if you don't have people you think that you can go to about these issues, it's so important to have those conversations anyway. It is your circle that is bringing you down. And maybe you really need to look at who you have around you. Maybe they're not the right type of people. But I go to therapy, like I'm not ashamed to say that. I think a lot more people these days, especially on social media where I was going to say admitting, but it's not something to like admit, but like are being open about the fact that they go to therapy, because although I have you and you are amazing and I have my, I have such a great circle around me. I'm so lucky, but I don't necessarily always want to, I know you would never sense a burden, but I don't always want to. Yeah, you feel like it's a burden, especially. And do you know what, sometimes, because there's only so much I can, I can help you, you know, because I'm close to you as well. Sometimes you do need an outside perspective, someone who doesn't really know you, you know, maybe they know you once every two weeks and stuff. Yeah, but they can say things quite objectively. Yeah, and you're going to listen because you're like, yeah, you're right, you don't know me. You know, I don't know who you are. And they help you look at things from different perspectives and explore all the possibilities of what might be going on. And I think, yeah, if you feel like you need to talk to someone, definitely do. I do feel that when you come back from your counseling sessions, a lot of the time it's like there's a weight off your shoulder. Yeah, not necessarily a big one all the time, but you do kind of feel a little bit more like it's stuff that I can't, yeah, and it's stuff that builds up. Like, let's say you have one every two weeks, it's stuff that you've been talking to me about this whole time, you've been talking to your mum, your friends and siblings and stuff, but it's not stuff that you're able, like, you can't keep bringing it up to me. Yeah, because we obviously can actually feel free to if you want to, but you just wouldn't, because you'd be like, oh, I don't want to noise you off and keep, you know. And I don't want to bring you down, as we just said, energy is infectious. Like, I, because I'm struggling at the moment, like, I don't want to bring you down. So, you know, but but also you bring me up. So like, I'm not sad all the time because I have my sad moments, but yeah, I sometimes I come up, sometimes I go into therapy and I think I've got no idea what I'm going to talk about today, or sometimes I leave and I think, I don't know if I necessarily took loads away from that, but I do always feel better just for talking. So yeah, definitely talk. A complete opposite side to this, though, I actually listened to a podcast a while ago and they said like the power of negative people in a workplace, particularly, I don't want to go down that rabbit hole, but if there is someone who's consistently and continues to be negative about the other people in the workplace, the work they're being given, the managers, I don't know, whatever, but they are consistently negative. They were basically saying this podcast, get rid of them, because they will infiltrate that negativity across the whole workplace. I've seen it happen. I've seen it happen. It's almost like they build a support group themselves, because eventually people wear down and they'd like, do you know what, like, I'll just start listening because and before you know it, you've then got like a divided workplace and people are against each other. There's little clicky groups forming and it becomes another issue in itself. I'm sure a lot of people have had that experience themselves or have seen it happen. And I completely agree, you know, if you can try and stamp that out as quickly as you can, do it in the best way possible, because sometimes like I've had workplaces before where it's got so clicky and negative and it's purely because there's a couple of people there who just didn't want to be there anymore. And they were too afraid to do anything else, but they didn't want to do the work, things had changed, their roles had changed, people were doing other things and they couldn't quite get with the times anymore. So then rather than just adapting or leaving, they were like, no, I'm going to stick around and I'm going to complain about every single thing that is happening and trying, you know, for what? It's like a bratty child. You're not getting what you want. So you're going to try and make everyone else lives worse in the process. But it's a horrible way to live. And I do think that some of the people that I know who were super negative before aren't that way now, because they've gone on, they've found something that they're passionate about, that they're doing now. And I think that's the kind of final point I want to add is negativity and passion, I kind of feel like polar opposites. So finding something that you really love doing suddenly changes your perspective on a lot of things, whether that's work, whether that's a person or training or, you know, whatever it is, sometimes having that ability to kind of release your sort of emotions in that situation. That's why I think the gym and training is so, so, so important. I had a client today who's really stressed out with a bunch of different issues and I was like, look, you're already doing the things that you need to be doing. You know, you're eating like nutrition is so key. Stress releases adrenaline cortisol into your into your body. The best way to counter that is with a healthy balanced diet. Training is a very, very good form of stress release in whatever aspects you want to do it, whether it's, you know, cardio, weight training, whatever it is, raising your heart rate and, and, you know, yeah, exactly. You're getting the door fins out. They help massively in terms of of dealing with stress and negativity in your life. So, but it's also a sociable place. And it's this an opportunity. You don't have to socialize, but it is an opportunity to socialize and have a conversation with people and you realize actually you ground yourself a lot and you find yourself in a position where you're like, Oh, there's a lot of other people here in the same position as me. So having that opportunity to be able to train and eat well and do things really has helped me massively in my life. And I can see how much it's helped other people. Yeah, if I don't train for like a week or so, I feel myself when I was going into a bit of a hole and I'm like, what is going on with me? I'm like, ah, yeah, I haven't trained. But that's one thing I, my final point would just be that I think sometimes when you are in a really negative hole, it feels like every and it does affect every other aspect of your life. It's a bit of a domino effect. You know, you might stop taking care of yourself as much. So you're not eating as well. You're not really, you're staying up really late watching TV or on social media trolling people maybe. So then you're not getting good sleep. So you're groggy for work and it all just has a knock on effect. And then before you know it, you're in a bit of a hole. So if you can get yourself to see a little bit of light, whether it is just going for a walk a day, then maybe you start eating a little bit better. Maybe you start getting a little bit better sleep. Maybe you start then going to the gym. Suddenly, everything starts to lift a little bit. You're taking care of yourself. Maybe things aren't so bad. Yep. And failing that, reach out for help. Obviously, you know, as we did say, reach out for help. Ask for help in hand from, from someone who you feel knows you or, or could help you in terms of they know what you might be going through or how to deal with that, whether that's a medical professional or friend, family, whatever it is, or even a peer or someone you aspire to be like. Yeah, it's funny because I think it's focused, sort of took a turn in terms that we were kind of started by talking about how to deal with those negative people, but us just being the lovely people we are want to help. So we've now turned it around and trying to help the people that are feeling like they might be one of those negative people. Yeah, absolutely. Or, or I guess maybe people can take away the fact that, you know, if anything on here resonates with someone that you might know, who is constantly negative, you might be able to give them some, some words of wisdom there. Send it on to them maybe. Yeah, maybe not with like, hey, you're a negative person. This might help. Oh God, yeah. But yeah, we'll, I think we'll wrap up there. We've got some packing to do. Yes, I'm going to clean the house and everything. And thank you all for tuning in. Yeah, thank you so much. I actually really, I feel like I've just had an hour therapy session before this. I've just thought I've had another 45 minutes therapy. It was quite a nice episode. Yeah, hope you guys have enjoyed it and we will see you in the next one. See you next week. Ciao. (upbeat music) [MUSIC PLAYING]
