Critical Hit: A Major Spoilers Real Play RPG Podcast

Critical Hit #748: The Fluyt (PANS01E61)

In this installment of Critical Hit - A Major Spoilers Podcast: Welcome to Amsterdam! Prepare to die!

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Duration:: 1h 28m
Broadcast on:: 28 Jun 2024
Audio Format:: mp3

The world's most exciting podcast, "Home of Borders, Language, Culture," and here he is, New York Times' best-selling author and National Radio Hall of Fame inductee, Michael Savage. I'm Michael Savage, host of the Savage Nation podcast, "Home of Borders, Language and Culture." Be here, or be nowhere, the Savage Nation podcast. Catch the Michael Savage podcast on all podcast platforms every Tuesday and every Friday. Critical hit, "Punch All Motsies," takes place in the early days of World War II and combines high adventure with cosmic horror. All dates, locations, and historical events are thrown out the window in order to create a fun story. So, don't put too much thought into historical inaccuracies? All accents are done poorly, but with love and no disrespect is intended. ♪♪ Last time on "Critical Who All Secret" Nicholas Elias, welcome, welcome. You see Herbert West. ♪♪ You are welcome any time. ♪♪ And then all you hear is this loud, menacing laughter. ♪♪ It is a bright morning over the... section M compound. And you've all had kind of a bad night of dreams. How many of you were able to go back to sleep easily after your dreams that you had? Not me. Okay, not Matthew. Not you, Lee, and I wanted to get up early. Okay, so no for "Blisco," no for "Doc." Why don't you both give yourself a fatigue? No. Where do we put our fattigues? So on your stress track, you simply take one of the open spaces and just put an F there. It's a temporary reduction of your stress. What about you, Rodrigo? Were you able to go back to sleep? Let's say no out of solidarity. Okay, and Brian, what about Valentino? I feel like you know, that's the pickle of him. Yeah. Honestly, I kind of figured, yeah, I really don't know that he was too terribly shaken up by it. Okay. I set up a little bit, got a smoke, and probably went back to bed, maybe actually take this shit off the time. A smooth, soothing, just a field. Tobacco. Long gonna leave and show it in the can. All right, so Carlos, if you would also take a fatigue. Yeah. There you go. All right, so it is now the next morning. The sun is shining over the frost-covered fields of section M. If you look out your window, you can see that people are already moving about the grounds. You can still, at least one of you who saw it before, I forget who, but you can see this weird stone arch circle thing hanging out over by one of the hills. And from this distance up on the second floor that you're on, you can see, you know, cables coming off of it and going over to, you know, some kind of a small control shed of some kind. You see some soldiers, again, up practicing their marching. That's what soldiers need to do. At least a couple of you shudder at the thought of getting up early to do markings across the fields. And you're able to go downstairs to the main dining library area wherever you choose to do it. But as you enter that area, you notice that there is a lot of commotion going on. People seem very upset. You see, you know, a stretcher in the hallway going outside and it's got a body on it that is covered with a sheet. Oh. Oh, is that unattended? It is. It is. And there's enough people around that. I mean, nobody's, you know, holding on to it or anything, but, you know, there's people running around, but no one's at the body at the moment. I will catch a... library nerd. No. Yes. May I help you? Do you know what happened here? Oh, it's terrible news. Terrible news. We're all so shocked about this. But overnight, Admiral Graham Gremel passed away in his sleep. And for those of you who don't remember, Admiral Graham Gremel was the person that was at the dinner the night before with all of you. Maybe one of you may also remember Admiral Graham Gremel from somewhere else. But that is what this nerdy personage is saying to you. We're all very troubled by the news. Yeah, I'd show unexpectedly, and he was healthy, too. Do you know how old he was? Oh, he probably was no older than 35. I know that's getting up there in age, but 35 for a Navy man is no reason to kick off like that. Sure. Indeed. All right. Thank you. Yes. I release him back into the library and he scuttles off into the library. The Brigadier turns the corner. Oh, boy. It's good morning. I see you've discovered the Admiral here. Sad news. Terrible. Terrible news. Yeah. Natural causes. We suspect he just came to wake him up. He didn't answer the call with the morning horn. We had to have someone go into his room and we found him dead in bed. It looks like he passed away in his sleep. Are you at arrest? No, we don't know. We have had the doctors look at it, but we presume it's of natural causes. You should have let doc here. I'll have a look at him. No. He wags his finger at you. It's very clever of you. And at that moment you see Alex out and come in. And he is still impeccably dressed, but his hair is all a skew. And he seems incredibly, incredibly tired. Like he has been up all night kind of tired. Oh, yes. Good morning. Yes. This is the head of section in. Good morning, everyone. Yes, troubling, troubling, troubling times, troubling times indeed. Well, nothing we can do about this now. Let's retire to the library. All right. And so you guys go into the library. And sure enough, there's Sally pouring over maps and books with Antoine and Pontus. And she sees you all come in. Oh, good morning. I see you must still be on American time. Yeah. I want to readjust. Mm hmm. Well, can you come over here, please? We're trying to figure out the best way to get you into. Into the Netherlands into Amsterdam. We were planning on flying you directly, but as the Nazis start to move across. The borders, things might be a little bit more complicated than we thought. Okay, occupied. Oh, no, no, no, but we are worried that if we fly you in too close, that you may be shot at. Yeah. Look at the map. Yeah, you're looking at the map and it does look like if you are able to swing around. I'm going to guess one of the Scandinavian nations. You know, if you come in from the north, either, I don't know whether it's Sweden or Norway. It's one of those two's you people can look it up. I'm a product of the American education system. And it looks like you could probably land in Amsterdam. It's probably going to be a little bumpy or rough coming in that way, but it does look like. You should be able to make a landing. Okay. The problem is boys though, you're going to have to go in through. You know, there's no military base that we can land you at. You're going to have to land at the airfield outside of Amsterdam, which means that. You know, you're going to have to go through customs. People are going to ask questions. Okay. Well, we have a cover story. Yes. Yes. Good. Good. And you've got all your papers and everyone knows your parts. And she stops and stares at you, Blisco. Yeah, I'm. Rob doesn't remember the place who does the survey. Yeah. Okay. Good. Good. Good. All right. And. Let's be. This is probably going to be a very fast. Get in. Find the item and get out kind of mission. Do you know, do you know exactly what you're looking for? No, we were hoping for. Maybe a little bit more information. We know that there are, I mean, we've narrowed it down to porn. And we know that it is described as a flute. Okay, but whether that means literal musical instrument or. Okay. Keep in mind. Language can drift over 600 years. Yes. Okay. And it's found on a ship. Okay. All right. Well. If you've got to narrow down to horn and. You know that you're looking for some kind of a musical instrument. That's probably about as good as we're going to get. Do you guys have any questions for us? And you see. We're going to reach into his pocket and he pulls out an envelope. Oh, I've a guest. Here's 200 monies for you to add to your. Your list. Please don't spend it all in one place. Does an addition to the monies we already have? Well, yeah, from what we talked about earlier, this is the monies. Okay. I have a question and it may not seem pertinent. Everybody just kind of looks at you. Anyone have disturbing dreams last evening. Everybody just kind of stops and looks at you. And perhaps just like what. What kind of dreams are you talking about? Nightmares. I think we've all been under a lot of stress lately. I am sure that we've all had. Horrible visions in our sleep. So you had so you had a nightmare. I did have a nightmare horrible creatures. Coming at me from all sides. Yeah, I did too. You had dreams of horrible creatures attacking you in the night? Hmm. Philosophically, maybe. Oh, okay. Although if everybody had a nightmare. The Brigadier is just kind of looking at everyone and he's like, well, no, I've not had any nightmares. But since France, I've slept like a baby. Are you still wearing? Are you still wearing Floyd's necklace? Oh, yes, of course. I never take it off. Okay. Well, you're probably protected from the nightmares then. Hmm. Well, I'm going to keep this on. I'm not going to test your hypothesis. Good. No, that's good. I'd have you guys. I'll look at the other two that haven't said anything. Did you guys have nightmares too? Yeah. Let's go. Yes. Yeah. So maybe, even if it turns out to be some sort of unknown hard condition, maybe the death of the, what was the title, Sergeant? Admiral. Admiral. Graham Grimmel. Graham Grimmel. Maybe the death of Admiral Grimmel was not natural causes after all. Yeah. Hmm. And you see Touton and Sally exchange glances with one another. And Sally Armitage responds with our thy investigators in Kentucky. She's not available at the moment. And then Touton is like, ah, maybe we can ask the light, and then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. 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And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. And then we can look at the light. Oh, doctor. Well, you can't really call him a doctor. Let's just say Nicholas is not a skinny, scary type of person, but is kind of a skinny man-ish in sort of a Ray Bouldress kind of way. He does at this point look clean-shaven because it's early in the morning. His skin is actually relatively similar to Carlos's in that now that I know I can say all of it is all of perhaps maybe a shade different brownish hair, brownish eyes. He is currently wearing striped linen pants. He's got a white shirt and a waistcoat over it. He's got a kind of out of fashion crevat tie, but it's one that he remembers how to tie and knows how to tie it from when he was a kid. Yeah, he put it in the closet there at the mansion. Yeah, it was just clearly something there. And he also found a coat that's not exactly ugly, but not exactly fashionable either. It won't necessarily be something where you stand out, but if we were amongst, you know, highfalutin' people, they might wonder where he got the strange hideous coat. But it's actually kind of, it's actually a little large on you. Oh, yes. So it looks, you kind of get lost in that overcoat. Which does kind of add to a general sort of hauntedness that comes with the interactions with Nicholas Leis. Mm-hmm. And he, as you know, Stephen mentioned, he does look like hell this morning or even around his eyes. Yeah. His eyes are dark and set and all, but I forgot to forget. Yeah. And in the time that it took you to describe your character, you now have a five o'clock shadow. Ah! Just a little weird. Just a little blue shade. I know, right? Yeah. Let's go. Young 20s kid, average height, clearly grew up on a farm. Care about as scraggly as the military will let him have it. And what would be the most contemporarily casual dress of the time? Right. So pants on a shirt. Yeah. Only one of those snap rim caps. Yeah. Are we moving out of winter? We're moving out of winter, right? We're moving out of winter. You know, it's a frosty morning. Yeah. Sizable coat. But nothing ostentatious. Most of it looks like he just took whatever was handed to him as opposed to thinking about how he'd dress himself at all. Okay. Great. And finally, we have Valentino. Valentino, he's a pretty fair skin. Hello with sharp features, blonde hair, slick black, and piercing blue eyes. He's wearing like a mid-length single-breasted jacket. That's probably not, but just open underneath. We'll say cream-colored, lighter sweater, you know, and dark pants. So brown shoes, I probably could go for a good polish, but hasn't bothered in a while. And yep. Okay. Very good. And, you know, you've heard the planes flying over the section M, so it doesn't take very long to get to the airfield. You get checked in. And sure enough, there is a small passenger plane on the airfield, fueled up and ready to take you up to the skies. Captain is there. The co-pilot is there. They welcome you aboard. This is a twin-engineer craft. You get in. The seats are comfortable. And, you know, there's some something to drink if you are thirsty. The stewardess is there ready to accommodate you. There is a copy of the London Times sitting on one of the chairs, and, you know, the headline is basically like Chamberlain has no bite. Church Hill makes his move. And on the cover on the front page above the fold, you can see a picture of both Neville Chamberlain and a man who you presume is this guy named Church Hill, Winston Church Hill. He's kind of a heavy set man, and he's he's balding. And he has this very kind of determined to look as he's looked smugly at the camera with a cigar in his mouth. But every record maybe I've ever seen. Let's go. You recognize this person. That's the guy for my dream. Wait, what? Wait, which one? This one, Church Hill. And he was doing what in your dream? Getting eaten. Sounds bad. And the admiral was also being eaten. Which one of the three was being eaten? So the admiral was being eaten. Church Hill and Touton were fighting off the ghouls. Now, excuse me, the admiral was being eaten. They were fighting off the ghouls, but it didn't look particularly promising for them. There was Churchill and who else fighting off the ghouls? Alec Tout in the head of section M. Oh, okay. And that cooperates what he had said during your meetings in the morning. Okay. Let's, as soon as we get to the airfield, let's go. Why don't you place a call back to their HQ and tell them that you've realized now that one of the people you saw was, and it looks like the paper of Winston Churchill. And the steward has asked you all to take your seats and the engines start up and you taxi down the runway and up into the air you go, and not about an hour later. You are flying in from the north and landing outside of Amsterdam. It's not a super long flight, but you can tell that there are times where the plane seems to, and you would know this Blisco since you love flying. You know the best way to get from point A to point B is a straight line, but you know that there are several times where the plane seems to head in an odd direction, almost like it's trying to avoid certain things or certain areas in the sky. But you guys, when you look out, you really don't see anything out there. It's kind of overcast here and there. You fly through some clouds, but otherwise it seems like a relatively pleasant trip. And then you land in on an airfield outside of Amsterdam. This is the primary airfield. And you guys are allowed to exit the plane and head towards customs. But those GC three is those fly really clean. What does costumes look like? Hello. I'm flying back to America. I'm kidding. I'm kidding this time. Okay. Hello, gentlemen. Passports, please. You had a hand over the passports. Americans. I'm okay. What's the purpose of your visit to our country? Business. Business and where will you be heading specifically? Are you staying in Amsterdam? Are you going somewhere else? We're having a couple meetings in Amsterdam and then things go, well, we might survey a couple of factories outside of Amsterdam. Oh, okay. Where specifically? Where's I don't know yet. I need to talk to the people that we're going to be interviewing. Hmm. That's troubling. And he braces his hand and brings his manager over. Yes. So it's fine that you're doing business here, although this, these are troubling times and, unfortunately, we are having to increase our restrictions on travel. So as we fill out this paperwork, the paperwork will allow you to travel to specific locations and I need to know the locations that you're going to in order to allow you to not be shot. Get arrested. Did you get the idea? Yeah, sure. I can't get like a radius around Amsterdam. No. Okay. Well, is there a way to within the country to apply for other places to go to? You would have to go to different terminals, train stations, et cetera. It may slow your progress. I mean, that's fine. I understand. I understand things are difficult right now. You know, some business deals we have just paused right now, but I felt like this one couldn't wait. So that's fine. Just set us up for Amsterdam and we'll figure it out from there. Okay. Very well. And, you know, he turns it back over to the other guy and he pulls out a little stamp and stamps all your passports, good junk, good junk, good junk. Enjoy your stage gentlemen. I would probably try and make it brief if I were you. Well, we'll be quick. Thank you. Yeah. Well, and he let you pass through. There are a reason why you were not. Why you guys are making yourself very suspicious. Were we being suspicious? I mean, they asked for your destinations and you were like, no, we're not going to tell you our destinations. We didn't know. Okay. I said, I said Amsterdam, then I lied about there being a factory. And when they're like, where exactly is this factory? I said, well, I don't know. They haven't told me yet. Okay. All right. All right. So no, we weren't trying to make ourselves suspicious. Welcome to Amsterdam. Amsterdam 90 is it 1940? 1940, March of 1940. To Neville Chamberlain is still prime minister. Okay. Let's go. Let's go. Let's make our way to go ahead. So would you all like to roll a history check to find out if you know who Neville Chamberlain is? I mean, we could do that. He was the kid who was not hairy, but everybody, everybody roll a insight plus academia, please. All right. D one. Oh, man, I'm good at these. I would hope so. So bliss goes zero successes. Yeah, you, you don't know, you know, you saw that newspaper and all you recognized and honed in on was the, the overweight gentleman with the cigar that you recognized Nicholas. Elias knows that Neville Chamberlain is the prime minister of England at this time. You also know that he has come under fire under the last couple of years because he basically kind of rolled over for Hitler and allowed, you know, got a promise from Hitler that he wouldn't invade. And then sure enough, Hitler turns around and invades all these countries, even though he said he wouldn't. So a lot of people are relatively upset at Neville Chamberlain during this time period because of his weak attitude towards towards Hitler. Same way with you, Dutch, you, you know, this, you know, this guy from your travels in Europe. You were around, you know, in Spain and Portugal during the time when Chamberlain was making his visits to Germany. So you're very familiar with this. And then what, what do you, oh, because you only rolled one and then you have a complication, a complication as well. The thing is, you, your complication is something happened when you were in Spain fighting with the, with the resistance there, something happened to you there, and you don't want to talk about Neville Chamberlain at all. And then let's see, Brian. Oh, you also had a success and a complication. Okay. Yeah, it seems like everybody, but let's go is pretty knowing that strong opinions on. Yes, on what's going on. You, your complication is you don't like Neville Chamberlain because of a derogatory term that he uses towards homosexuals in the 1930s. And yeah, yeah, the term that he used was glamour boys. And you don't, that is, that is a complication there as well. So you also have some negative strong feelings towards, towards Chamberlain, right. Yeah. Welcome to Amsterdam. I look for a hotel. I know it's so early in the morning. I'm so tired of this too. But it's a day. Yeah, you're doing all right. Oh, the Nazis are going into France and I'm afraid that they will be taking us over very soon. It wasn't funny comic strips. I would fall into depths of despair. Well, you hang in there. Okay. I will. Thank you, sir. Thank you. We'll go into the room. Yeah, it's a nice couple of rooms. Nice couple of rooms you got there. Maybe something was to happen to them. Okay. We will maintain cover by having, actually, I guess. I don't know which would be better cover. I guess technically. Doc is my valet. So maybe he'd be in the room with me. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you're a business compatriot Valentino might be who knows. Yeah. That was my first thought was classism. Right. Right. My second thought was, what if this upper crust jerk that I'm pretending to be in? Is it actually who I am once a sandwich in the middle of the night? There you go. All right. So you and Docker in the same room together. Let's go and Valentino are in the adjoining room together. Okay. Well, let's meet up as soon as everybody settles in. Yeah. And you meet. Okay. All right. Well, already we are seeing that. It's going to be difficult moving around the country. We do have a cover story. So that helps. But when push comes to shove, we might have to break some Netherlands laws. To be able to accomplish what we need to accomplish. I mean, we destroyed a museum in Italy. So. It's true. And I mean, our laws in the Netherlands really laws at all. Yes. So we can head, we can try and head straight for porn and. See what we can find out there or. I suppose we can potentially hang out in Amsterdam for the day and. See if there's anything else going on that we need to know. Right. Again, already we found out that there's all these travel restrictions. Maybe we should sniff around and see if there's anything else going on. Amsterdam is the capital, right? Yes. Okay. Yeah. So people here would. Or, you know, like people here would know. So we might want to figure out if there's anything else like. Check points or if they're like. Doing anything with the trains and. Then afterwards, go to horn or we could just go straight there. What do you guys think? Did we have any specific itinerary that we told anybody along the way that we were going to be doing. Like there's not somebody who's expecting us to go and. Have a specific meeting with somebody. And if we don't leave the hotel, they'll be like, Hey, wait a minute. I suppose that's possible. We did tell them that we're going to have meetings, but I try to be vague about when those meetings would be. And also we're going to leave the hotel. If we stay in Amsterdam, we're not going to stay in the hotel. We're going to leave and do some. Right. Investigating. That's a weird word for hashish. I don't. I don't think Amsterdam is the. At this point in history is. Vice capital of the world. It is. Yeah. So technically all recreational drugs are illegal in the Netherlands. Even cannabis, but small quantities are tolerated depending on what you're doing with them. So. I mean, that's, that's another good point is that. Amsterdam is not the recreational drug place that it was, but it is now, but also most recreational drugs are not largely illegal. Yeah. Like, yeah, so it's like, if you, if you really want to find some opium, you can probably track some down and it's probably not that big a deal. That's the reefer madness kicked in in Europe. Oh, yeah, well, I'm sure I'm sure it has. It hasn't in the US. So. Yeah. You also know that in the Netherlands, it is. It's illegal to make chalk art on public sidewalks. Yeah. You know that if you trap somebody in your house or your apartment or your hotel room because they're trying to. Burgle you, but if you lock them in there and detain them until the police arrive, you could be charged with detaining that person of their liberty. Right. And so you need to warn the burglar ahead of time if you're going to block them. You also, you also know that, you know, if you have a baseball bat or other implement in the room, and you use it to subdue the person that is burgling burgling you. Then you could also wind wind up in jail for assault pre meditated assault. That gets on the plus side. It's not illegal to escape prison. Oh, good. We will probably need to know that. Yeah. God, I hope we don't need to know that. I mean, you never know. Okay. That'd be funny if it was illegal to break somebody out of prison, but not to escape. Right. It says it's not illegal to escape prison as long as no crimes were committed in the process. The judiciary system cannot give the escapee extra time. Keep in mind that breaking a window already counts as vandalism for the criminal must be a true escape artist. This is from a website that says 14 weird Dutch laws that exist today. Nice. Good to know. All right. What do you guys think? Head straight there or try to take the temperature of the. Of the country head straight there because that will actually probably give us an idea of the temperature. Sure. Yeah. That's raising the reasonable. Okay. Uh, in that case, let's get something to eat and then we'll try to catch up. A train out of here. So you go down to, uh, you know, you find a local cafe, little sidewalk cafe. You do notice that there does appear to be a little bit more of a police presence on the on the streets than what you normally would find in a in a community like this or a city like this. You also notice that people seem to be a little bit more in a hurry to get from point A to point B than what they may be are used to. But you do still find some people to sitting around drinking, drinking coffee. Um, you don't see anybody smoking tobacco because that's illegal to smoke in all public places. And, uh, you do find a little, a little cafe that you can duck into and get something to eat. What is everyone eating? Oh, just like a hand sandwich. Okay. Ham sandwich for you. What about, uh, doc? Hmm. Is there anything that is the go to food that you eat when you're in Holland? I'm sure something fish. Pickled tulips. Um, I don't know. The catch of the day. Um, let's see what they have here. These are all typical things. Coffee. Let's see. Sausage rolls. There's some sausage rolls. Do you want a sausage roll? Yes. Okay. Uh, what about you, uh, Carlos? Uh, yeah, a sausage roll, some coffee and maybe a pastry if they have it. Oh, yeah, they have some good pastries here. Yeah. And finally, what about you? What about you? Let's go. Uh, sausage roll pastry. Okay. All right. Coffee. Sure. Okay. So the waitress goes away and she comes back a few minutes later and as she's setting all the food out on the table for you, everybody can roll me an observation plus insight check be one. Oh, there's food involved. Yeah. There's food involved. Let's go in with your concern about the meat product. You don't notice anything. Uh, Doc, uh, let's see, Valentino and Carlos, you all notice right away that she has these black. Uh, Sores marks all up her hand and up her arm disappearing under her sleeve. She doesn't see arm. Uh, yes, both both both arms, both of her serving arms. You all recognize this, uh, mark from before when you were in Belgium. I'll look at that Valentino and see if you notice this. Yeah. That's my appetite. Let's go reach across the table and grab whatever was put in front of him. Okay. Uh, why don't you roll a will plus. Resilience, please. Oh, no. Successes. Very good. Yeah. You, um, it kind of, for whatever reason, these, um, you can tell that this sausage is way undercooked. Or it looks like it's way undercooked, but it tastes fine to you. Yum, yum, sausage rolls. In fact, you eat everybody's sausage rolls who decided not to eat their sausage roll. I mean, that was probably going to happen either way. Yeah. Yeah, I definitely get two sausage rolls because I'm about touching mine. So it sounds like let's go get three sausage rolls, maybe even four. Yeah. Delicious. Okay. Make note of that in your notebook. Yup. Yeah. After all the sausage rolls are gone. Okay. Let's go start writing in the notebook. Okay. I feel like maybe we should have said something to it. Let's go, but also, I mean, if he didn't see it, I don't want to ruin his meal. I don't think it makes a difference. This is the same stuff that we've been seeing while we've been here in Europe. It's like. Some sort of strange corruption. Yeah. My theory is that it's either some sort of corruption that's been. Afflicting everyone or. This is just the way things are. And because we've been smashed into the uncanny, we can see it now. I guess, then we see like photographs of this stuff though. Yeah. You're, yeah, you nerds were able to photograph it. So. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. And now that you are talking about it, you can see that there are. Several people in this cafe that have these black marks on either their hands, their necks on their cheeks. One person, it looks like has it right over their temple. So we've noticed this on various and sundry passers by. But we've never noticed it like on. For lack of a better word, the baddies, right? It's not something where like hair, hair, son, tug, all of a sudden you had the thing. Oh, you've never met a sontog yet. No, you've not met hair, sontog. Susan, Susan, sontog? Okay. No. Hair, sad or talk, that's actually not met hair, sad or talk either. You've met Montague Dean's talk for I talk. Right. Mid doc. Midvok. And I forgot what Wednesday was. You've met all the days of the week. You've heard all the days of the week, except for the weekends. Her for I lock. Her super who lock. So it was, it was mad. Yeah. Midvok is Wednesday. Yeah. She was the one you met in Milan. And she had the Satan babies. Yeah. Satan babies. Yeah. Okay. But none of none of those people and none of like the police who've been trying to kill us or whatever. We haven't just like seen something and said this guy's evil and that he's just like covered with the ooze. Oh, no, huh. This appears to be like ordinary people. Oh, it's not really an ooze. It's more like a. Yeah, it's like a sore, like a chicken pot almost. A separating disgusting. Yeah, you can see if you if you really wanted to get up close, you could probably see little tendrils. You know, radiating out from the spot and then connecting to another spot. On their face on these people on their faces on their arms, presumably all over their bodies. That sounds perversely fascinating to talk, I think. I'm sure it is. Sure. You get a little, you get a little tingle off of that. Yeah. I kind of want to dissect them, but I'm not going to. I'd probably be frowned upon. I don't know if that's all the weird 14 laws that still exist in in in. Well, and I am in the. I have two years. We're playing from a second or probably. It's more of a faux pas than it was. Yeah. It's definitely rude. Miss banners would frown. Yeah. But Dutch have a strong regard for life. So it is quite the faux pas to try to kill them. I'm not trying to kill them. I'm trying to dissect. Okay, find Vivis sect. Is that better? Yeah. Language is important. True, I suppose. All right. Well, we've already learned something just from being here. So are you guys just like sitting around casual eating? Are you doing other things? Yeah. So if they have the radio playing. Oh, sure. Listen to the radio. There's some weird European 1930s music playing. Yeah. There are jazz thing. I'm sure. There are multiple newspapers. Yeah. We'll try to. Yeah. There's a story on there. One story is like Nazis. Nazis invade France. They're pushing towards Paris as quickly as possible. Expected to be there within weeks. Resistance is high. That's one article that you see. Then another one again in the opinion section. You see the one that says. I have a one hail on Nazi overlords. And then the other one. And then the other one that you notice just in passing is you notice that the prices of goods are starting to spike. What would normally be like a nickel for a loaf of bread. Now you see some wartime scare is starting to go up to like 15 cents. Ridiculous. I know right. I'll also keep an eye out for smaller, weirder stories. And like what kind of stories are you looking for? Amsterdam is strict, but you won't believe with what? I mean, I found in cave. Yeah. I don't. We should be so lucky to have actual tabloids there. That's the best way to do it. He's a sesquatch alive and well with his wife in Switzerland. Right. Elvis is not dead. Also has not been born yet. Actually. The incredible, proud boy is on the loose. Served during World War II, didn't he? Oh, that's true. That's true. He served in Vietnam. This was like 20 in 1957. So he would have been born in like 1930 something. Now that now that we're squared up with the timeline. Yeah, I'm looking for. Anything from like mysteriously missing people to, you know, French lights in the. Yeah, folks see like, aha, looks like somebody. We've caught another sighting of the lake. Whatever frog boy or whatever. Sure enough. On page on page eight, that's where all the weird stuff is, the little short stories where, you know, the burgeoning cub reporters are trying to cut their teeth. You see something about a portions of a forest have been taken down. You know, clear cut. It looks like, but no machines have been used. So you don't. That's really weird. A couple of people have been affected by a strange malady where they. Seize up and then start screaming. For some reason. Oh, you see this story. There's definitely a story about a Belgian reporter who traveled to Morocco. To take on a gang of international opium smugglers. Oh. Yeah. Morocco. Hey. Mm hmm. That sounds like it might have been very racist. What was the reporter? What was the reporter from? He's from Belgium. Oh, do they have a description of them? It just there is a picture of him and it is a it's a young boy, a young gish man. I should say you should call him a boy. But he's wearing an overcoat and he has this shock of reddish hair. There and he's kind of smiling. Do you recognize them? Oh, yeah, you guys definitely recognize this guy. This guy. Yeah. Well, good for him, I guess. It's like he's off having his own adventures all the time that we're doing these things. Well, as long as he's away from us, he's a little too snowsy for my taste. Mm hmm. You do see something about you do see something, you know, also in this weird section. These are more like these would be more like your tabloid stories, this section of the newspaper. So a lot of it is played off for laughs and for good humor, but you do see something about stone circle uncovered. In in Norway. Mm hmm. And, you know, strange markings on it. People call it the rise of the new witch. You know, the, you know, that's it's sensationalized stuff. But that's that's really all you see in there. Okay, um, in that case. Guess we'll go. Um, to the train, like. Should we go check out and then just go to the train station and take the next train out? Or should we go to the train station, figure out what all is going up there and then like check out and take a train. Would there be anything gained by not checking out so they don't think we're leaving? Um, only that. We would be inconveniencing the hotel. Oh, it's fine. Sir, we've got plenty of room. Okay. All right. Well, in that case, yeah, let's, I guess we can grab our stuff and go. Let's just go to the train station and see what we find there. So what do you guys have your guns and knives on you? Yeah. Okay. All right. Um, anything else that you guys have with you? Anything else that you guys are taking with you or have with you? Uh, the mask book. Okay, I'm asking a book. My medicine bag. Hey, anything else? Three bars of bubblegum. You're taking your address. Does he still have that or did the president take it? No, president didn't take that. Okay. He just figured that, you know, uh, tomb raiders can keep the spoils. Yeah, I'll keep it. It's in my, it's in the back of my coat and I keep it in a hidden bucket. Okay. I don't know. It's actually probably in fact, it has in my medicine bag. Yeah. It, it folds up pretty nicely. Uh, okay. So you head down to the train station. Sure enough, there is a greater police presence, uh, down at the, at the train station. They are checking just about every other person's passport to end their travel papers to make sure they are who they say they are. Um, there are people that seem rather concerned, uh, for whatever reason. Uh, you know, there's, there's not a panic, but you can tell that people have a very heightened sense of anxiety. Uh, as they are boarding trains and the trains that they are boarding seem to be the ones heading. Out of, of town south out of town or wherever the docks are. They seem to be heading towards the docks or the countryside. Let's. Yeah, let's see if there's a train to the town where we're going. Oh, hello, sir. Where are you going? Uh, horn. Oh, horn. Yes. You're going to go see the flute. Uh, I'm sorry, the flute. Yes, the flute. Is that a? There's a boat named flute. Heh heh heh. Sir. The Dutch built the most versatile and useful boats in the world as they explored the flutes. Oh, flutes. Yeah, there's a flute, uh, still an active flute factory there in horn. It's really the only, the only business they have there. Oh, then yeah, that's where we're going. I just didn't know that's what they were called. Oh, understandable. I guess American. Yeah, definitely understandable. Um, do you have your travel papers? Um, yes, we are right now only set up for, uh, travel in Amsterdam. So we wanted to apply to see if we could go to Horn as well. Oh, well, it is, um, passed at the 12 o'clock mark. Uh, you know, it does take a long time for paperwork to get done in a day. Is this is this like somebody being like, Oh, now the bureaucracy is difficult. Or is this somebody being like, but if I go home, money could assist that. Who wants to roll an insight plus observation? I got one. Okay. How about a roll an insight plus observation? We're going to allow doctor roll insight plus observation and he gets too successful. Yeah, this guy is obviously saying that there is some bureaucracy involved in getting the paperwork done, but, uh, you know, uh, the, the gears of industry require much grease. So I would like to maybe, uh, just show him, uh, the bill and see if perhaps by, uh, my associate Johan vendor money. It might help to speed the wheels of industry. And how much, uh, what's the numerical value of the Vander money? Uh, let's see. You said a loaf of bread was 50. 15 cents, 15 cents. I'm going to go with a tenor. Ten Johan Vander monies. Okay. And Johan Vander monies. Do you think he does see that and his eyes do get, uh, kind of big and. Oh, that would certainly speed some of your the process up, but it would still probably be a day before you could make it to your destination. Uh, of course, there's another train leaving in 10 minutes. If there was other ways that you might think that. We might be able to move this along. What about his brother. Ilhan Vanderboney. Is that a good one? I'm going to try 20 now. Yeah. Okay. You're, you're bribing him with 30 Vander monies. He goes, there's four of you though. Oh, I am sorry. You're, you are correct. And I put out another 10 Vander monies. Okay. Uh, yes. And he pulls out a sheet of paper, writes his name on it, signs that dates at stamps. There you go, gentlemen. Have a good trip and enjoy the flutes. Thank you. All right. So, uh, there is definitely a last train to her and all now boarding. We leap aboard the train. All right. You leap aboard the train and about 45 minutes to an hour later, you pull into the small seaside town of Horn. Uh, when you get off the train, people seem to be in a panic. Like, like screaming or just like screaming, but you see people that are just like mothers grabbing their kids and getting indoors. You see one man ushering his family into a car and the car drives off, you know, west as fast as the car can go. You see people who should be at work during the day who are seem to be rushing home with much haste. There seem to be any sirens or any, you don't hear any sirens at the train station. No. And there don't seem to be any like visible, like, I don't know, stuccas over Disneyland or anything. Just. You're at a train station in a corn, a small fishing community boat community. Nice little nice little houses by the bay. Is there like ticket window? Yeah, there's a ticket window. Hello, sir. Hello. I was wondering if you could give me directions to a hotel. Oh, yes, there's a hotel about two blocks east of here. Okay, I see your papers, please. Yes, here you go. Okay, very good. I see the, they're able to fill their paperwork out much faster in Amsterdam than we are able to do it here. Very good. Very good. And the nature of your business. Mr. And he also is when he sees your name. Did I not. Are you related to John Arbogast? I am. I'm his son. Oh, okay. I saw he got an award from Hitler. Yes, he did do that. Hey, can I ask your business here in one? Yes. What I am doing is I am trying to find worthwhile businesses out here in Europe that need investment, especially looking for new ventures of, you know, we're fundamentally an iron works. So we're looking for things like ship manufacturing, building manufacturing. You're here about the fluids. Yes. Okay, well, there's two factories. One is probably not, not for someone of your stature and your needs, but the other one is one of the older, well, actually, the two companies like to argue that they've got the oldest flute on exhibit. They're in that they've been working longer than anyone else all the way back to the 1400. Yeah, of course. It's so tiresome. I got to hear it every single day at this place. Come see our flutes. No, our flutes are the best. No, come see our flutes. It's so tiring. No, I would imagine I would get very annoying. Yes, yes. Very much so. Well, if we can get directions to each of them. You see that road? Yeah. Just follow it to the end. Okay. All right. Well, great. Thank you. Yes. Have a good day. Enjoy your trip. Enjoy the flight. Thank you. How is flute spelled? FLU YT. Okay. Go look up the pictures of the youth and yes, the flute ship was the ship that was used by the Dutch to conquer the world, basically. We asked ship. And it was in production from, I want to say like the late 15th and throughout the 16th centuries. Friggin Dutch. Yeah, no, right? Conquering places. You don't suppose we're actually looking for a boat, do you? I think we probably are, especially since both of these places seem to say are saying that they have the oldest one in existence. I think we need to check those out. I can care. Here's hoping it's a model. Okay. I doubt we're that lucky. A model. I haven't been to date. A model. Oh, oh, you mean because then otherwise the item would be too big to carry. Certainly. My dad used to carving, put them in bottles. Maybe it won't be the flute. It'll be in the flute and it's just a translation hiccup. Maybe it is literally a ship in a bottle. I mean, if it is a ship, I'll figure out a way to get it. Let's go once again, check into a hotel. Oh, hello, sir. Hello. Welcome to horn. Thank you. Let me get if you have it to adjacent rooms. No, so we have two rooms across the whole way from one another. That's fine. Will you be staying long? Right now it looks like we'll probably be here for two days. And then the door bursts open as you say that and a man rushes in. And he's looking around and he sees the man behind the counter and he runs over. Right, come here. And he whispers something into his ear. He goes, oh, bye. Okay. Gentlemen, here are the keys to your room. Please enjoy your stay. Okay. Everything all right? Yeah, nothing to be alarmed about. Nothing to be alarmed about. He wouldn't want to inconvenience, I guess. Everything is fine. Fine, fine. I'm sure everything is fine. Okay. Yes, fine. All right. All right. Well, head to the room and I'll be like, that sounded like one or two extra fines. So I don't believe that things are fine. Yeah, these rooms are pretty tiny. There are two like single beds pushed up against the wall. This is upper floor. And so each of your rooms, the roof, the slope of the roof. Is in the, is in the room itself. So, you know, you can sit up in bed, but you can't stand up next to the bed. You basically can stand upright down the middle of the room. There's a bathroom at the end of the hallway. But yeah, these are pretty small cramped rooms. Let's gear up and go find. Or go to the first loot factory. Okay. Yeah, let's do one and then the other. All right. Okay. So you guys walk down the main street in horn horn. I don't know how you say it. Someone who is from Amsterdam. Please send us your lovely voice pronouncing the city of H O O R N. But yeah, it's pretty clear that, you know, this is a community that is in a cape. In a bay and that it's a perfect place for building ships and launching ships. Because just around the, the little horn there is the, is the north Atlantic. And, you know, not too far away would be, you know, the Scandinavian countries. And yeah, it's, it's definitely a quaint little community of a very hearty people who are used to building ships. But as you get closer down towards where the, the ship factory factories are, you notice that there are more people that seem to be heading in the opposite direction. Very, very quickly. And as you approach the first. Boat manufacturer, you can definitely see out there that there's a model of the, of the flute ship painted on a sign. That and the date on it says 1500. And that would be the establishment date. And you can see it, it's called salmon sons boats is the name of the establishment. And people at this point, by the time you get down to the building, you see. People just fleeing as quickly as they can. You hear one woman screaming. One man is comes out of the. Out of the factory door and you see he's grabbing his face and holding on to his face and kind of screaming. And he trips and he falls down, laying flat onto the ground. There's also, it looks like another person laying still in front of the, the two big doors to the boat factory. Okay. Does anyone seem to be responding to this is everyone panicking or fleeing this point. People are fleeing and running and are scared. There are, you know, these, these people that you've just recently seen seem to be the people either fleeing the boat factory or fleeing from businesses nearby. But these are these stragglers are the ones that are kind of last remaining people. There are two bodies lying face down in front of you. Are they running away from the factory? They're running away from the factory. Okay. I'm immediately going to check for life signs to see if these people can just turn them over. Do I have to turn them over in order to try and get a pulse? Yeah. Turn over. All right. You turn one of them over and you just be. Yeah. Yeah, you, you see that this man has blood just running down from his eyes all over his face and this look of shocked terror on his face. This man has died from, from some kind of severe mental surprise attack, fright, whatever it is, whatever it is he has been clawing at his face in his, in his eyes and blood is all over his face. He is definitely dead. I close his eyes. You've got blood all over your hands. Is the other one dead? There's only one way to find out. I'm going to check the other one to see if they're dead. Yeah, identical. I'm going to close their eyes. Also blood all over. All right. I'm going to surreptitiously wipe the blood on the bloody parts of their shirts. Critical hit Punch Hall Nazis is a production of Major Spoilers Entertainment and was produced and edited by me, Steven Schleicher. If you would like to get a behind the scenes making of this episode, be sure to check out the GM Roundtable Octum Cthulhu edition at our Patreon page, patreon.com/majorspoilers. Each week I discuss my plans for the upcoming game session and Dr. Brad Will is there to share his reactions and advice on how to be a better game master. I will warn you though, there are spoilers galore in every installment of the GM Roundtable Octum Cthulhu edition. So, if you don't like spoilers and don't want to know what I am planning next, don't listen to these episodes. Though, I will say, if you do listen, you'll be able to see how and where the players throw a wrench into my plans and you're also going to have greater insight into the world that's being built into this campaign. Finally, we want you to record yourself doing your best on Critical Hit and send it to us at podcast@majorspoilers.com and your voice will join the growing chorus of fans in upcoming episodes as well. Thank you again for listening this week and here's hoping all of your dice rolls are Critical Hits. This podcast is copyright 2024 by Major Spoilers Entertainment LLC.