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Welcome back, everybody, to our study of the ladder of divine ascent, by Saint John Klamikovs, and we are picking up this evening on page 229 with paragraph 57 towards the end of the page. And if you remember, we've been speaking about stillness of body and soul, and this will then segue into his teaching on prayer. And so he would see this fostering of stillness within, of moving from multiplicity of thought to simplicity as being essential for a deeper kind of prayer to emerge, as well as confronting some of the things that work to distract us and to agitate the mind and the heart. He seeks to put forward the pitfalls that we sometimes struggle with. And that's what we'll be looking at again here this evening. So again, paragraph 57. "He who is gripped by passions and lives in the desert, allows his mind to listen to their chatter. So the Holy Elder, I mean, George Arisletes, who is not entirely unknown to your reverence, once told me and taught me. He once directed my worthless soul and guiding me to stillness," he said. I've noticed that in the morning, assaults, I'm sorry, in the morning, it is usually the demons of vain glory and concupiscence that make their assaults upon us. At midday, the demons of despondency, repining, and anger. And in the evening, those done loving tyrants of the wretched stomach. So there are little patterns that we can pick up in the spiritual life. Thoughts, feelings, ideas that come to mind, or even urges that are rooted in that tight at various times of the day. So in the morning, he says, "Vane glory and concupiscence." That, you know, often as we're getting started with our day, our focus can shift upon ourselves. The things that we have to do, maybe anxiety about it, not only pride about ourselves, but it can be a kind of self-focus that emerges early in the morning. And this in itself can disrupt the stillness that perhaps has been gained during the night hours of prayer. You know, as we start the new day, we become so focused upon the task at hand, but sometimes to the exclusion of God. And this can be a kind of vane glory that we are more concerned about accomplishing, you know, what's on our schedule, or what we have to do, and in the way that we want to do it. He also says concupiscence. So a darkened will, a darkened intellect, you know, we can will. Again, stepping out of the deep stillness of the night, our focus can, again, shift to satisfying ourselves or, again, following our own will in terms of how we are going to engage in the day. And so this is why, you know, the abbot often will give the obedience is right at the beginning of the day in the refractory. So the will is set aside, and one is times even drawn away from the particular task that they would want to do. Not always, like many monks have certain tasks within the monastery that can be fairly consistent. But often the abbot, seeing things that need to be done, will give an obedience that will pull them out of their schedule. And I mentioned to you once before, sometimes you could see those little micro gestures that the monks would have as they struggle to let go of their will. They want, and had in mind, to finish a certain task. And sometimes the abbot, asking something in particular, makes them set aside their own will, or set aside their better judgment. Well, if I only had the time I could do this or I could complete this, or I'm also scheduled to cook the noon meal. And so I don't necessarily want to be cleaning out the gutters, or having to clean the flu of the fireplace. And so sometimes there is a real wrestling that goes on there early in the day. And it can, as I said, disrupt that stillness that has been hard won through the prayers during the night or early morning. At midday, he says, the demons of despondency, repining, and anger. So a kind of sadness, or discontent, anger cannot begin to emerge. So often, you know, when the heat of the day begins to emerge, and you've put in your labor in those morning hours of work fulfilling that obedience, one can become sort of discontent with the life. Especially if the work feels menial to someone, or again, if the weather is such that it's blazing hot, that the physical weight of that can make a person resentful, and discontent with the labor that is given to them. Maybe they have an outside job working in the garden in the heat of the sun. And the monks have been telling me it's been over 100 degrees. And so, you know, they wear out pretty quickly if they're working outside. And so you could see one could become snappy with one's fellow monks. And so if they come out of their work from the heat and they go into the chapel for the midday prayer, and they're singing, but somebody is singing off-key or going too quickly or too slowly, they could think in their mind, "Ah, you know, he ruins this every time for us," you know, and so those little things can develop into great kinds of resentment or discontent in the community if they aren't checked. And so, again, the spiritual elder can be very helpful in this regard in aiding them and reflecting upon it, but also applying the healing balm. And in the evening, he says, "The dung-loving tyrants of the wretched stomach." So, you know, as one comes to the end of the fast, it could be a time of very deep prayer. And at this particular monastery, they often, the afternoon hours are spent with study or prayer or lexio divina of some sort. They also do some work as well, depending upon the need, but often it's a more contemplative period of the day. And so, but having put in that labor, their stomachs can begin to growl rather than focusing on their hunger for the Lord and allowing their prayer to deepen during this time that they have for silence, that they can begin to think about the coming meal. And this can be true on the fast days, as well, when they might only be eating bread at each meal or a little bit of fruit or something like that. And so, so, to break the fast at some time, at times, what takes over is that sense of hunger, physical hunger. And, you know, clearly at times for us as well, the connection isn't made between our bodily hunger and our hunger for Christ. And so, one can eat hurriedly, gobble things down, or eat too much, or break the fast early, or sneak back to the refractory later, when everybody has entered into the great silence and gone to their cells for the evening, sneak back to the kitchen, or the refractory to get a little extra something to eat. We've talked before about the secret eater, you know, the ones who sneak back the refractory. And we have it easy, we have our own refrigerators, and, you know, we can sneak out and, you know, have a little something, and nobody's going to call us on it, unless we interiorize this. But, you know, we struggle with the same things, to be great, we're grazers. And the moment often when we feel this tyrant, as he describes it, aching a little bit, our first thought is to satisfy. You know, perhaps I didn't have enough at dinner. I need a little snack, or I need to get that taste out of my mouth from the dinner that wasn't so good, so I'll have a little ice cream to cleanse my palate, that kind of thought. And so it's not just for the overeater, you know, I think it's listening to our appetites in the sense that they dictate what we do. And we often think of gluttony as, again, somebody eating an enormous amount, but sometimes it's not that. You know, sometimes it's giving ourselves over to our will that is disordered, and that is, again, eating to satisfy ourselves on an emotional level to comfort ourselves. And what is more comforting than a good bowl of ice cream before bed, or some Cheetos, or something along those lines? So all the things that he talks about here, I think we can struggle with as well. Number 58. It is better to live as a centabyte in poverty and obedience than to be a hezekus who has no control over his mind. And so, again, the warning that it is better to live the common life, to follow the role of a community, and to be aided and strengthened by the example of others and the guidance of others, then to be a hezekist and still be driven by excessive thoughts or our appetites. Again, it can be a very difficult thing to be alone and isolated and struggle with the things mentioned in the previous paragraph, what if we fall into despondency, or are overcome by feelings of resentment? And, you know, what do we do with them? Eric Chastain writes, "The rule of Saint Benedict even says that there is no eating outside the communal male time. So those who follow the rule outside the monastery can follow this too." That's right, like oblates certainly can follow that to the tea. And in essence, it's a good thing. You know, it's to abstain from eating between mills. Philip Nary had the same sense as well to stay away from the refractory during the day outside of the mills, because it can be such a temptation for us. And again, you know, we can be grazers. The food is out and you're walking by. If somebody makes you a bunch of cookies and they're sitting there on the counter, every time you walk by, you're going to want a snag one. And so good counsel here. And to know when we're going to be overcome, like typically it is later in the day, you know, after a hard day's work where we're going to want to snack in particular. Okay, number 59. "He who has entered into stillness in the right way and does not see its daily reward is either practicing it in the wrong way or else is being robbed of this by self-esteem." And so a person who enters into this and yet doesn't see the fruit of it, which is the peace of Christ or the deepening of prayerfulness, then there has to be some kind of examination that takes place. You know, is it really self-esteem or is it pride that leads a person to want to embrace the ancuretic life to become a hermit? That, believe it or not, there can be a kind of pride in the pursuit of something like that. That one can believe or feel that they are called to this or that they are prepared in mind and heart. And so push to be given that freedom to embrace the silent life and the life of solitude prematurely. And so I think similarly for us, if we are engaging in this over the course of time and we don't see something like the peace of Christ and the freedom from anger begin to emerge in us, that's where we have to soul search a little bit. Or if we're not experiencing the freedom from again the things in the previous paragraph, if we still see them present within us to ask ourselves, okay, what is it that I'm doing? And I am entering into this in a way that God desires me to. Or is my ego still at the forefront of things? Because you think about it, the reason that one embraces his life is to have Christ as one's soul thought to be praying constantly, to remember God at every moment, to do so unceasingly. So not only at the set times for prayer, but throughout the course of the day, that one would move to silence in order to be able to maintain that completely. Even in a fuller way than a monastery that already lives it in a very deep way. And so if we're seeing these passions emerge, then they need to be addressed. Anthony writes, "Maybe it could be a person who entered this kind of life is not called to it. That can be true, you know, that there was a lack of discernment on a certain level, or it was done in good faith, but maybe they did not have the council that was needed at the time to help them delay before making this choice. And I've seen it certainly not with this, but with vocations in particular, of moving towards something prematurely before there's both an emotional and spiritual maturity. And inevitably a person leaves within a month of entering a community, whereas if they would have waited a couple of years and say finished their degree or had the time to deepen their spiritual life, they could have handled some of the rigors of the common life, sometimes even just that emotional maturity of being able suddenly to live with a group of other people following a role. I mean for a person who's not prepared for that, that could be a living hell, you know, and all of a sudden you can't do what you want when you want. And when you're dealing with all these personalities that aren't attractive to you, and perhaps just the opposite, and yet you're called to love them, or perhaps you're given a job to work with them on a day-to-day basis. And so if there isn't that spiritual maturity there, a person isn't going to last very long. Art rights, hold on for a second here, my family has been out of the country for two and a half weeks. I've been trying to give myself a little taste of the solitary life for a little, from the little I know. I'm sure my attempt is laughable compared to the monks, but I still found it hard. It can be. It's, you know, we can suddenly find ourselves ill and ease with ourselves, that we can pray for a period of time, do our spiritual reading, not turn, you know, if we have a TV, not turn it on. But then, you know, after a few hours of that, there can be an uneasiness that overcomes us, where we want to distract ourselves, to busy ourselves with something else. And so the silence, the stillness, is not as easy, or as we think, and sometimes it can lose its attractiveness very quickly. Like we can have this romantic view of a monastery, especially one like holy transfiguration, this idyllic setting, you know, up in the mountains of California and these magnificent views and things like that, but you still take the same person with you. And so, sitting at home alone with ourselves, sometimes we're not all that good company. And we get sick of being around ourselves in our own thoughts. And so, if this isn't paired with the desire for Christ, I think we aren't going to be able to sustain it in any context. This is why over and over again, and the fathers, we find them using, again, that language of desire, of wonder, of making it relational, making the ascetic life relational, because outside of that, then it simply becomes a form of endurance, a discipline. And to be able to sustain that, whether it's for two and a half weeks, or months, or years, can really transform the personality into something that is anything but Christian. You know, it can make us bitter, you know, and the feeling of isolation that times can make us bitter. Cali writes, can this be related to like normal life, separating yourself from the world, work on your relationship with the Lord, is difficult to find a good community with support. So, how is one supposed to mimic this when they are in society? I would agree with you, it can be very challenging in our day in particular to simplify our lives in order to make what the fathers are talking about possible, to really even to move away from forms of entertainment that are forms of distraction for us, the computer, television, and the life. But, you know, to be able to, you know, have this clear sense of purpose in our minds about the immediate goals and the end goals that we are seeking become ever more important within the world, to know that we are seeking purity of heart, to know what that is, to understand that we are called to this intimate relationship with the Lord, where we are transformed by His grace and called to experience a kind of deification, this experience of life in Christ now. And we've often talked about it, this experience of invincible peace, of love, of joy. And so, there has to be this deep kind of commitment to it. But as you said, a kind of support. And often, I think in parishes, it can be hard to find because communities often don't live very close to the church, that can be in and out for the liturgy and back home, and you don't see anyone. And there could be very little that's going on within the church throughout the course of the week. And so, finding a place where there is eucharistic adoration to participate in a book study like this. I mean, for me, as a priest, this has been, these groups are the most enriching thing for me in terms of my spiritual reading. I do these readings all the time over and over again, but there isn't anything like going through them in a group. And I've learned more through these groups than I have did in any of my seminary classes. You know, there's just something about reading the fathers that nourishes us on this very deep level. And the same is true with a scripture study as well. And so, we we're not going to be have it handed to us because the culture of the church has broken down. And as well as at times the culture of the family life where some of this was found as well, family rosaries and things such as that or going to church for vespers on Saturday evening or Sunday evening depending on whether it's east or west. And so, you would have to search for the things that are going to be nourishing to you. I've often said that, you know, as a, I'm sorry, St. Nicodemus, who was one of the compilers of the filiclea said that the best and the beautiful are meant for all. And so, we have to search out that which is the best and the beautiful to nourish ourselves and not see that as a luxury, but that something that the church should be giving us out of its rich, out of the storehouse of its riches, spiritual riches. And but in our day and age we really do have to seek it out. And I think we have a lot that is accessible to us today over the internet, but still one has to be disarming and find that which is going to be deeply nourishing to you. I think at times we have to in our day and age be prepared for a kind of loneliness and isolation and learn to allow that to draw us to cross, allow to lead us to turn to him. And we're going to experience that isolation, not only for the spiritual reasons that we often hear of, sometimes the Lord will allow us to experience that in order to affect our faith and to lead us to cling to him, but sometimes we experience that isolation because the church can be so fragmented in our day and it can be hard to find those who share the same sensibilities that desire the longing for holiness and to be Catholic in more than just name, to have it be something that shapes their life. I can't tell you the number of people I talk to who are looking for a mate and if the same struggle there is finding somebody that has shared those sensibilities who's going to be able to live this life with you and make that journey with you. And so often they find themselves in relationships where they discover, okay, this doesn't mean the same thing to this person as it means to me. And so there is a kind of, and we need to be prepared for this, a kind of heroic faith that one has to have in our day, that we give ourselves over to Christ, we trust in his providence and seek to serve his providence in our life. Even in those times where perhaps we experience a deep loneliness and isolation. And I don't want to minimize this because I think it is one of the great struggles of our day as his purity of heart that there can be a kind of suffering that is involved in order to protect what is precious and that requires a faith almost like that as the martyrs where one has to die to oneself and not participate in the things that seem benign to everybody else. And so to be prepared for this. But to seek out everything that will nourish you on a day-to-day basis. And people often ask me that, "Is it all right for me to go to a parish where I don't live in that territory?" And priests in the past used to be so tough about that. Because you go to the parish in whose territory you live. And a lot of that is about also supporting the parish financially. And even my mom growing up had that problem too. She liked the Italian church and the Italian priest. But what was going to the Polish church and then asked the Italian priest if it would be okay. And he said, "Sure, but ask your pastor first." And the Polish priest said, "Nothing doing. You come here." And the Italian priest said, "Just forget it. Come here." You know, but I think people have a right to nourish themselves and to go where they're going to be nourished. And you're not to have an over-idealized view of what parish life is going to offer. You know, sometimes we have to bring something to that parish to build it up and strengthen it. And every parish is going to have its particular struggles. But we should be able to go where we are going to be nourished in a deep way and have freedom to do that. That's one of, I think, one of the rights of a Christian to be able to do that. And so if anybody sort of tries to dissuade you, I think you follow your conscience in that regard. You know, right explicit name day, thank you. Any books or resources of his teaching, you can recommend. Yes, but I can't remember the title now. There is a newer biography, and so I'll get it up online for everybody who might be interested. It's very good. Cindy Moran writes, "This might seem nuts. It's hard to be more crazy than the monks on a time, so I don't know." But I waited until God sent me a mate who loves Jesus more than me. Yeah, you know, to pray for that and to wait. I mean, a lot of what we are reading about is exactly that, that stillness is often described as a waiting on God. And so often in our life, and so I'm glad you brought this up, so often in our life, we have to wait for God to manifest his will in our life and to bring someone to us. And so we have to form and shape our hearts through the life of prayer and asceticism that we are listening on a very deep level. So if he does send us a mate, or if he does open up to us a particular path or vocation, that we have hearts that can discern, that can hear his voice and respond to it. So not nuts at all. I think it's very beautiful that you were able to do that and certainly that God brought someone to you. Sister Barbara Jean writes, "Okay, so I'll add to your list of those seeking a mate, a lovely and talented 42-year-old woman named Jolie, a lifelong Byzantine Catholic with Roman Catholics in her family, a high school teacher with artistic and gardening talents." She sounds sweet to me. I know, I know a handful, if we're going to do this, I know about a dozen good mates, we just need to connect them up, connect them around the country. And so invite them to the group, invite them to the group, because more often than not, there's a good handful of people here that are looking for a mate too. Connect me, Father. Okay, I will. Actually, Ren, she's not here, I think, tonight. I'm not sure if she's here or not tonight, but she had surgery on her finger today, so I don't think she was here. But it's funny. For some reason, any guy who dates her has this sense that her spiritual father that they have to be approved of. And it doesn't make them feel all that comfortable. In fact, I'll share this one little thing. I won't mention any names, but one guy said something not very nice to her. And so she jumped out of the car to run back to where she was living at that point. And the guy screamed out the window, "Don't tell Father David." I said this. And so I think it's sort of a funny thing, but I'll hook you up, Callie. No worry, I have some very good guys. And they are. I think they're searching for someone. And sometimes the Catholic singles groups don't work, or they can be too contrived. I think it has to happen in an organic fashion, or where there is a connection in sensibilities, what you're thirsting for in this spiritual life. And often, you know, that is manifest. You know, that becomes manifest in that sort of a natural way in one's life, a natural meeting, rather than fixing somebody up. But nonetheless, I'll work on it, Callie, through prayer or finding somebody in particular. I should start running cruises, or something like the little offer mass and a little dating service, the matchmaker. Okay, let's move on. Number 60. Stillness is unceasing worship and waiting upon God. So there it is, exactly what Cindy described above, awaiting on God that we foster this stillness, because we know that God often will speak to us in a still small voice. And that often, you know, the movement of our mind, our thoughts, our anxieties can drown out the voice of God, or how he's manifesting himself through the circumstances of our day-to-day life. And it's amazing what one begins to pick up when there is that stillness. And often, it's the simplest things of life, too. And the things that are most beautiful, that strike a person when there is that stillness, and that turn up and to have the deepest meaning. Unceasing worship, too. And we'll talk about this more in the section on prayer. But we need to try to move away, as with so many of the things that we talked about, from episodic approach to the relationship with God, as well as our spiritual practices. We want it to be more fluid, and we want to become what it is that Christ has made us and made possible for us. And similarly, with prayer, we want to become prayer, so to be praying so deeply and constantly, not only if the septimes are throughout the course of the day, where our very being is in this constant state of waiting upon God and listening to him. And when we get to the section on prayer, we'll talk more deeply about this. But it is stilling the heart that allows us to be conscious of the presence of God, even in the midst of our labors, and even in the midst of chaos and upheaval around us. But so many people I know now are terrified by what's going on in the world. And terrified, you know, certainly by the recent assassination attempt, but also the coming election, all these kind of things has just has everyone on edge, as well as the conflicts throughout the world. And so to hold on to that stillness is the most important thing. In fact, I think it's the most important thing that Christians can bring to the world in an age of chaos. It's this stillness that is rooted upon he who is the eternal rock, the everlasting rock. And that's what stillness allows for us and this unceasing prayer to rest upon that everlasting rock or the eternal rock as Isaiah says. This is the best thing that we could bring to the world. Everybody thinks that we should jump into the fray and that this is where we're going to have the most impact. And I think it's really the hidden ascetics and the constant prayers that become the pillars that hold up the world and sustain it. Anthony writes, in my experience, the torments of unwelcome thoughts are a military maneuver to draw one's attention to the head and away from a still heart. Exactly. It is demonic provocation. Sometimes we are the source of those thoughts, you know, as we seek to purify our memory and imagination, or sometimes we're the source of them through our own negligence. We allow the mind to wander, but it is a kind of military battle almost with demonic provocation that we are in a battle against one who does not rest. And so our vigilance and our reliance upon the grace of God has to be complete. Dezan writes, "For the sake of the ten good men, God saved the city." That's right. And so, you know, are there, you know, a handful of the holy people who cling to God's will? You know, this can hold a church, a parish, a family together. One prayer within a family or a parish can give it the strength that it needs to endure, but also to grow. Susanna writes, "The cruises retreat would be good. Count me in." I don't know. I couldn't stand being on a boat trapped like a rat. I don't think I could endure that. We need to go to the mountains or to main someplace like that. And I think that would be more peaceful. All right. Number 61, "Let the remembrance of Jesus be present with each breath, and then you will know the value of stillness." So the remembrance of Jesus with each breath, and this very quickly became what we see in the scripture so often, the words of the public and then the temple, or the blind beggar along the side of the road, the crying out to Christ constantly, and eventually it becomes the Jesus prayer. Either in a fuller form, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me as sinner, or simply, Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me as sinner. All these, in one form or another, become the main way of struggling with thoughts and remaining in that stillness. And often, a chocky, a prayer rope, will be used. It's simply a knotted rope like this. Sometimes, people will use their rosary to aid them, to, again, to add a bodily element to the prayer. But to use these short prayers, to, they're often called arrow prayers. They pierce the heavens. And so, even the name of Jesus, and in particular, the name of Jesus, can be ever so powerful, especially when we are distraught or overwhelmed by thoughts, simply to say the name of our Lord, overcomes and the terror of the demons, drives them away. And so, sometimes, to shorten the prayer is necessary. Sometimes, to pick up the pace of it, a little bit can be helpful, especially when the thoughts are washing over us, like a wave, until the thoughts begin to slow down again, and then the prayer can slow down until the point where we enter into almost a complete silence, where the prayer itself ceases, and we just rest within the Lord. But again, this is what we want to foster. He tells us throughout the course of the day. Number 62, "For the monk under obedience, self-will is the fall, but for the hesekist, a breach and prayer is the fall." So, if you enter into a monastery, obedience is going to be what is salvific for you. It's letting go of your own willfulness, your own ego, and it's allowing oneself to be formed in shape, that one comes to desire God and God alone. We and form humble hearts, but for the hesekist, the whole reason for their life is to pray. And so, to give oneself over to stray thoughts, or to allow the mind to wander, is again, a breach of that relationship, a breach of that love, to the point again that they called it idolatry, or adultery, an infidelity. So, if as a hesekist, the whole purpose of your life is to remember Christ with every breath, to become prayer, that this is how one is not only sanctified but strengthens the church, to turn away from that is to turn away from one's calling. And the demons can use even this sense of charity and things that are good to pull us away from that kind of prayer, you know, of working too much and then what's needed to sustain ourselves, or to make us become overly attentive to the neighboring hermit, as it were, you know, that just to distract ourselves. So, if we're living in the world, we are obedient to our particular vocation. So, if one is a married person, you know, it's in the context of that life and be obedient to that call, living it fully, that one is sanctified, in good times and in bad wealth, poverty, sickness, health. The same thing as parents, you know, that you take upon yourself, you become anxious about the formation and the well-being of those in your charge, your children. And similarly, as in a monk, it's to live in obedience, as a hesekist, it is to live in silence, in constant prayer. But there are some things that are constant to all vocations and it's the ascetic life as a whole that married people need this stillness in order to foster intimacy. What married couples are often surprised to hear about this and the retreats that I've given in the past, that solitude is necessary for intimacy. If you're around each other 24 hours a day, you're probably going to come to hate each other's, the look of the other person. You need that time of stillness to be able to engage God, to reflect upon your life, but also to be able to see the other in the way the God sees them. And even in their weaknesses and in their worst moments, and yet to love and give oneself in love. And so if we aren't retreating into solitude, if we're not retreating into prayer, where's the strength going to come? It's not going to come from our sparkling personalities and our sense of humor and certainly not our good looks, especially after you reach a certain age, you start looking, starting to look old and commudgingly. You're not going to have the dashing looks of someone in their youth. It's funny. I finally got, it's called a "Clo-Book" and it's the headpiece that 200 monks wear. And so it's not only the hat, but it has this veil that goes down the back and the sides. And mine finally came. It took like three or four months to come, but I put it on and I took a picture of it and I thought, oh my gosh. First of all, it makes me look six foot five because it's sticking up here. But then it makes me look terrifying. I'm thinking, as I'm not frightening it'll enough looking, this is going to make it, you know, only more so, but maybe that's meant to humble me, I don't know. But in any case, let's get back to the text here. So with every breath, everything that we're doing to remember God, to set aside self-will and not to breach our particular commitments. If you rejoice in having visitors to yourself, know that you're not taking a holiday from despondency alone, but from God. So a hesekist is going to be particularly vulnerable to despondency, sadness. They're going to experience a kind of loneliness, isolation. They're going to wonder about the value of their life, the point of all the grain. And at times they are going to want to open their cell to visitors. And so John says, you know, you not only, at this point, take a holiday from your sadness, but you take a holiday from God. You distract yourself again from the constancy of the prayer and allowing the silence to shape the heart. And so, again, this is in particular true for the hesekist, but it can be true for us as well. It doesn't take us much thought to, you know, to remember the times where, you know, we've stepped out of silence or stepped away from prayer because of sadness. And, you know, we've turned to call somebody or turned on the television to find some way to distract ourselves, rather than remaining in that, as if it were, what is it that purifies you? I can't think of the particular word that purifies gold. What is it that gold is put in? It's a crucible. Crucible, thank you. Goodness sake, my mind doesn't work at night. So to remain in the crucible, if you will, of the silence. There's a dying to the self, but also a purification of the heart that takes place in that loneliness and isolation. And sometimes we must fight against the fear that it gives rise to within our hearts or to fight against running away from the pain of it. And now, I don't want people to get the wrong idea. You know, there's nothing wrong with friendships, relationships, spending time with others. You know, communion with others is one of our great sources of strength. But we can't, we don't want to use it to run from God or to take a holiday, as John says, from God. Sometimes we have to stay within that crucible in order to allow our desires and our desire for God in particular to be purified and perfected. Okay. Number 64. The model for your prayer should be the widow who is wrong by her adversary. And for your stillness, the great and angelic hezekus are sinious. Remember in your solitude the life of this great solitary and see how often he sent away those who came to him so as not to lose the good part. So most everyone knows certainly the story of the widow who has to fight for her right for what he's going to sustain herself. And so she has to go up against an unjust judge every day. She clamors for him to give her justice. And if you remember, he says, I better give her what she wants, what she's demanding before she and the Greek is blackens my eye. The image of the Greek word is that of a boxer. So, you know, it's completely unlikely, the image that our Lord uses. Like an unjust judge isn't going to be fearful of a widow, especially back in those days. You know, there were had no rights and often they suffered greatly if they were left with nothing. And but we are told here by John that we have to imitate her and our prayerfulness to, you know, constantly be calling out to God to not as an adversary but to overcome our adversary who afflicts us in order that we might experience the fullness of the life that he wants for us. And Arsenius, you know, was one who often wouldn't respond to this request for counsel, not because of a lack of charity, but again, people would search out these hermits in their solitude to ask them for a word. But sometimes they would seek them out more out of curiosity. And so they would break their silence and Arsenius and others like him often would remain in that in that silence. If they could not be edified by the silence, was their thought then they would not be edified by their words or their teaching. That the silence itself should be edifying enough. And so fighting for it and holding on to it, regardless of, you know, what or who wants to pull us away from it. Number 65. My experience is that the demons often persuade foolish busy bodies to visit true hezekies, so as to use even such as those or throw some hindrance in the way of these active men. Look up for such people and do not be afraid of offending these idle bodies by your devout behavior, because as a result of this offense, they will perhaps stop their meddlesomeness, but see that you do not mistakenly offend this whole who in his thirst has come to draw water from you and all things you need the light of discretion. So it's just what I said that there are busy bodies within the spiritual life, who again are being driven more by curiosity. The discernment of the hezekus is the person again thirsting what they thirst for, and so they have to be able to see that in order to respond to it. So again that they don't break charity or they don't fail to give counsel where they should. Any thoughts or comments of this point? Let's see number 66. The life of those practicing stillness, and especially those who are quite alone, should be guided by conscience and common sense. He who runs his race in the right way and performs all his undertakings, utterances and thoughts, each step, every intention and every movement, according to the Lord, works for the Lord's sake with feeling of soul, as though in the Lord's presence if he is robbed is not yet living virtuously. So conscience and common sense, sensitizing the conscience, that we see the movements of the mind in the heart, or we see things that are contrary to it, either pulls within our heart to go in a certain direction, contrary to God, or a provocation. And so our conscience is to be sensitized, but common sense too, that we can be whimsical and not serious enough, in the sense of not taking, sometimes we can be overly serious, take ourselves too seriously, but sometimes we can take nothing serious. And so we have to have a kind of common sense that guides and directs our behavior, where we don't take things lightly, that we're able to see, on a natural level, what is good and true, that often reveals to us the right path forward. My mom used to have on her refrigerator some phrase in French. I forget what it was, but it was translated, common sense is not so common. And there's a lot of truth to that, that common sense often isn't very common, that we will do stupid things, things that if we would just pause for a moment and look at the circumstances would lead us down a much different path. And again, a person who's cultivated kind of stillness, then is also going to be cultivating this common sense that allows us then to pause, to reflect before acting or before speaking. And I think we've become used to, in our society, of saying things without much thought, doing things very quickly without much discernment, whether it's purchasing things or just acting on impulse and other areas of our life. And so knowing that stillness also helps to cultivate common sense as well as conscience is an important thing, that our lives are often chaotic or we experience upheavals in our life because we just do stupid things or thoughtless things, whether it's talking to somebody in an uncharitable way or neglecting some responsibility or neglecting a person. So this is a very important thought, you know, we don't, again, common sense isn't very common, but we also don't hear people talk about it very often these days either. Number 67. "I will unfold," says someone, "my problem and my purpose on the sultry, according to my still imperfect judgment. As for me, I shall offer my will to God in prayer, and from him I shall receive assurance." What a beautiful, I was struck by this earlier this week. Una, we're in chapter or step number 27 with paragraph 67. But the line there, "I will unfold my problem and purpose from the sultry, so I will go to the psalms," which has been the tradition, you know, certainly the monk's bit of the church as a whole, to help guide us forward, but the psalms capture so often the struggle within, and the more that we pray them and interiorize them, the more that we memorize them, that they come forward naturally for us at moments when we need that wisdom to help us unfold set of circumstances that can be very difficult, and to make our way forward when everything else seems to be dark to us. And furthermore, he says, "I shall offer my own will to God in prayer, and from him I shall receive assurance." So I've often used this phrase that we picked up in, it was either John or the ever-continuous, of serving the providence of God. That means giving over our will to him and serving him in the moment, in the circumstances where we find ourselves, not always trying to fix or alter things that come down our path, that seem like the path forward for us that would be better. We have to allow ourselves to serve the providence of God, to set aside our will, and move forward through things at times that are often very distasteful to us, or that make no sense in light of our particular vocation. We can suddenly find ourselves being set aside or rejected out of hand, and where years of labor or work is made out to be nothing, of no consequence, no significance, and certainly experienced this and no many have experienced the same thing, and you're sort of left to wonder, okay, you know, what was all that work about? And what am I to do now? Where's God leading me? And I think our first thought is to try to figure out why someone is doing this, or why this is happening, how do I stop it, or reverse it, rather than how I make my way through it in the moment with a kind of fidelity to God, with love, with charity, with humility, with the spirit of obedience. And we hear Christ in the gospel, over and over again, tell us disciples, we're going to Jerusalem, and there I'll be arrested, and I'll be put to death. And over and over again, they either they don't hear it, or they ignore it, or they try to obstruct it, you know, Peter being certainly the main one. God forbid that that should ever happen, and he's told that he's a stumbling block, get behind me, Satan, and in so many ways we can do that, you know, the living in Christ means allowing ourselves to be guided where he desires to take us, and so often we will say within our hearts, God forbid that I should go down that path, or that following Christ would mean going down that particular path that does not seem to make sense to us, or does not seem or just to us, or loving, or that it would bear fruit. But sometimes God will work the most extraordinary things in our life, or other people's lives, that we could not have imagined, or opened a door that we would never have gone through, unless again, he turned our life upside down, or allowed certain things to take place in our life that we wouldn't have imagined. Right, mom, who would think that you'd be moving again at this age? How could God do this to me? We till you get here with the dogs, you'll probably be saying that all the more. Oh, no. So, but this is an important thing for us to be able to see, you know, to offer our wills to God on a daily basis. It sounds simple, but it isn't. It's often the most difficult thing to do. And but the most beautiful for the faith that it expresses, if we could say, I will be done, you know, at the beginning of the day, and allow ourselves to make our way forward, then whatever we go through throughout the course of that day, even if it seems to have no value whatsoever, it has absolute value in the eyes of God, because we've offered it to him out of love and out of faith. So that brings us to eight, 30, any final comments, beautiful thoughts tonight, you know, comments from everybody, but beautiful thoughts from John in particular. Thank you, Carol. I appreciate it. My new feast day, no name day. Thank you all. And why don't we close, as always with our Father, the name of the Father, the Son and Holy Spirit, Amen. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen. The Lord be with you. I mean, I want to go bless you, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Go on peace. Thanks be to God. Thank you all.
