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Welcome back, everybody, to our study of the Evergatinas, and we are picking up on page 124 of the text this evening with number five towards the bottom of the page. And if you remember, the fathers have been speaking to us about the importance in the ascetic life of abstinence from certain foods in particular, and to love the various forms of abstinence that we might embrace in terms of ordering our appetites, but also in what it does to us internally, the humbling of the mind and the body can sort of soften us within, make us more receptive to the grace of God, and also still the mind and the heart, especially from the multiplicity of thoughts. And so this hypothesis and the next will be dealing with fasting and the love of fasting, with multiple examples from the fathers. And just as a little caveat, as we read through them, not to be overwhelmed by the extremes that they went to. You know, certainly they had entered into this laboratory, if you will, of the desert, and were really pushing themselves on the ascetic level to deal with the passions and to struggle with the appetites. And so you don't find much in the way of pampering the body or giving it too much other than what was necessary. And what was necessary for them was minimal to the extreme. And so some of it will be a little bit jarring, but not certainly to take it as a model for oneself, that, again, that you don't have to chew on the pits of dates as your meals. But I think we are meant to try to recapture something of these disciplines in the spiritual life. When you have in centuries of the saints emphasizing the importance of abstinence and fasting, and its importance for the spiritual life, it cannot be ignored. And yet, in large part, I think we have, and we've moved to a kind of minimalism, or we've just lost sight of the meaning of these practices and how beneficial they are and how essential they are in the spiritual warfare that we are engaged in. And so we'll try to listen as attentively as we can to some of the teachings here as well as to the examples. So again, we are on number five on page 124. Again, the same elder said, when David wrestled with the lion, he grabbed it by the throat and immediately slew it. If we then grab our throats and our stomachs, if that is, we flee from hedonism and gluttony, then we will overcome the invisible lion with God's help. So we fight something far more fierce than a lion in the spiritual battle. And David, as a shepherd, had to be willing to lay down his life to protect his sheep. And so we lay down our life, as it were, to protect what is most precious and what has been given to us by God, the grace that flows to us from the cross and all the many ways that he has allowed us to participate in his own life. David actually says this to Saul when he's about to go into battle with Goliath, that he tells Saul not to be worried that in his battle, in his work as a shepherd, he had to fight off many animals and had slain many lions in the process. And so the fathers are telling us, okay, this is part of our spiritual life. We can't be fearful, there's a kind of courage that is necessary for the spiritual life as we run into this battle, trusting not in ourself so much, but in the grace of God. As David did, as he ran into battle, not with armor or sword, but with a mere sling. And his trust in the God of Israel. And so it is that we take up these weapons of abstinence and fasting as our weapons in the battle. Number six, the same elder said, I cannot entirely cut off these three things, food, clothing, and sleep. I can only cut them off partially. So while the monk saw themselves in some way as imitating the angels, seeking to be in this constant communion with God and constantly to remember God and to take up this spiritual battle through abstinence and fasting to minimize the needs of the body. They still recognized that we do have needs and we can't neglect them. And if we do neglect them, or if we fall into extremes, then we can do ourselves harm in the spiritual life as well. There is not a disconnect for us between the body and soul. And so we have to use the body to engage in the spiritual warfare. And so be mindful that we use our fasting in order to order the appetites. And so our using of the body, but in a particular way, humbling it. And this is essential for us in the spiritual battle. So it's not hatred of the body. It's an acknowledgement that is important for the spiritual warfare and that we discipline it and that we direct the desires that we have and the longings that we have toward God who alone can satisfy us in the way that we desire. Number seven, again, he said, the soul is humbled in no other way than by reducing its allowance of bread that is by restricting it to only that sustenance, which is absolutely essential. Now for the monks, they weren't, as we have said, eating food that would be heavy. They were typically vegetarians and would fast many days and they would abstain to just typically one meal day on the most basic things. And so they wouldn't, again, become overly attracted to filling with the belly or having food that was prepared and very rich. And I think what we can take away from this is that we have set before us. I mean, again, one only has to see the commercials on television or to walk through a grocery store to see that very much on our mind is the satisfying of the palate. And beyond that, eating to, you know, more than what we need to sustain us. And certainly we eat things also that aren't nourishing. And so in many ways, we are not giving due care to the gifts that God has given to us, which is our physical health. He continues, "various individuals related to abba employment regarding a certain monk that he did not drink wine." And the abba answered, "wine is not at all suitable for monks." And again, we touched upon this a little bit last time about, you know, the monks avoiding something like wine, where the senses can be dull. You know, if anything, they were seeking to sharpen their attentiveness rather than to lull themselves into a kind of fatigue. And they were seeking to, you know, pray throughout most of the day and the night as well, limiting their sleep. And so anything that would sort of again satisfy the palate, the dull, the sensibilities, they would be wary of. And so especially for the young we hear, that novices would never and should never let alcohol touch their lips. And I think part of the reason for that is, you know, that of what it does to us, that it can again break down inhibitions for us. And you know, certainly that's been the downfall of many throughout the course of time. Finally, number nine, abba hyper he has said, "For the monk fasting is a bridle against sin, one who discards fasting is like a wanton stallion." And so, you know, the asceticism that one embraces in particular fasting is like a bridle for a horse that we are guiding the self in the direction that leads toward God. And when we neglect our care of the body and the discipline of the body is when a fall typically comes pied right before the fall. And so if in a piedful way thinking, "Well, these things haven't been bothersome to me in the past." Often that prepares us for some kind of spiritual fall, either negligence in regards to our prayer life. You know, if we think about how many times we fall asleep during our prayers because we've eaten too much, or we've been sluggish and so delayed the time of prayer and so we've missed it all together, or we sleep too heavily and so sleep more than what we need. And again, I think this is what we are seeking to do, to bring our life into an order but directed toward God. Again, this isn't just disciplined for discipline's sake, and it's certainly not punitive in the sense of punishing the self or punishing the body, even though there is a kind of suffering that one endures with that and not satisfying the appetites. And finally, letter G from Saint F from the Syrian. The lion is captured alive by its greed, and the glutton is overwhelmed by the gratification of his belly. Glutton labors and strives to fill his belly with choice foods, but when he eats them, he suffers from the difficulty of digesting them. On the contrary, abstinence is accompanied by health and spiritual perspicacity. I'm sorry. It's not a word I typically use in my daily parlance. It's just, you know, being insightful. We lose that capacity to see things clearly and to see what's going on around us. If lions will eat, you know, if they kill their prey, they will eat so much that if you've ever seen a picture of a lion that's finished off its kill, they'll be laying there with a hugely bloated belly. And I did post it online, so if you saw the picture of a lion laying on its back with a distended belly, that's typically what happens. And it makes them unaware of their own predators. Or, you know, they become weak and sleep. And it's their nature, you know, to do that, to eat what they, you know, they don't know what their next meal is going to come from, so they'll eat everything and seek to fight off other animals from being able to consume their prey. But they'll eat so excessively that they'll be weighed down. And we often will imitate them in that way. You know, that's when we are taken by, you know, the predator that seeks us. And when we become sluggish. And so when we eat rich foods. And so, you know, there's time for celebration, certainly. But so much in the life of the church, we've talked a little bit about this, surrounds the eating of food, which is a good thing, you know, to be companions, those who break bread with each other. And so this part of life and joy in our communion with each other to break bread, to be one of those companions. But it can't become the focus of our life or the life of the church. I mean, it is to be part of that. But, you know, we have to ask ourselves, are we being spiritually nourished? Or are we feeding ourselves spiritually through our reading of the fathers of the scriptures, through the sacraments? You know, is the parish and parish life focused on, you know, this pursuit of Christ and pursuit of holiness? Or is it simply a weekly gathering? I came across a little meme that had two different pictures. It had like a pickup truck filled with people to the point that I was tipping over. And it said, parish outing. So everybody goes to the parish outing. And, you know, to the point that the truck is overflowing and tipping over. And then it says, parish prayer gathering. And it's, you know, five or six people scattered through the pews. And that can become the case if there is a kind of disorder in our focus in a parish. You know, all those other things are good and help make the community tighten it. You know, the common meals that are had, especially the celebrations during the feast. But if it becomes out of balance, a parish can be ever so active that there might be very little spiritual that is going on there. It becomes more like a social center or cultural center. And rather than a place where people come to grow spiritually. Okay. Number two, a vagrant monk will not remain unwounded by Satan. Whereas he who endures in his calling and the difficulties of the monastic light will assuredly find rest. And so, you know, for the monks, again, the common life was always the safest that there this is where one is formed in the life of virtue and living with others. It's where we have to be humble, set aside our pride, be patient, loving, charitable, compassionate. The monk who moves from monastery to monastery like a vagrant. And there was some form of that word that was used for them in past centuries that they were not considered to be good monks for that reason. That there was a kind of built in instability that they had that would translate then into the rest of their spiritual life if they were constantly moving about. And so, there's something to be said for gaining a kind of stability in our life, becoming rooted. And I think that's hard in our day because people often are compelled to move for work and things such as that. And we moved a lot growing up. And so, there was this gyro base. Thank you, Adam, they were called. But moving, we had to move so many times that you're compelled to try to connect again with a community. And it was difficult. And there's something destabilizing about that. And but there can be also something destabilizing about it in the spiritual life. It's becoming rooted and struggling with who we are and struggling with what's going on internally. That's important. When we only change the externals in our life, we still take the same person with us. And some people will do that and do it perpetually. Perhaps not even aware of it. That when things become difficult or they've become dissatisfied with their life, the first thought is to change the externals where they live. Hoping that that will bring about a change of what's going on internally on an emotional level or spiritual. And for a short period of time, it often does. That that fades very quickly. And then we are left again with ourselves. And the discontent that we often will feel about so many different things about who we are as people, our relationship with God, our loneliness, whatever it might be. And then finally, number three, Abba Daniel said, "The body flourishes to the extent that the soul is enfeeble. The soul flourishes to the extent that the body is enfeeble." So counterintuitive again for us, that the humbling of the body, what seems to be the enfeebling of the body is where grace is to be found. That we cling to God in the recognition of our need, our need for his grace, but our need for everything that he provides. When we place our appetites first, then we can lose sight of God altogether. We think that we are strong. We think that we have things in order in our life, usually until something awakens us to reality, the illness, the death of a loved one, our failure, and some part of our life. Any comments on this hypothesis or these last sections that we read? I typed terribly. I read this book in business. It was like, I think it was by Dale Carnegie, and when he was like, something about Satan, if I was to dabble something, but what he says is, what he says to me, which is worse, the food or the alcohol, and he says, "The food, do you think the food? Why we have so many addictive problems today? Because this is not really taught. Not many churches teach this on what you're teaching basic lightning, and do you think that's an open gate that why it's still out of control in ours or in our day?" I was just wondering if it connects somehow. It's part of its the incredible abundance. Those from my mom's generation, those who went through the depression and where people really, at times, had to struggle for their daily meal. They were often very trimmed, but I think there was a gratitude for what one had at those times. I think it's there have been cultural shifts and a greater abundance, prosperity, that we have lost sight of what naturally I think people experienced and struggled within life. Often it was in their trials, the hardness of their labor, their work, getting by of supporting a family. It was through, if you will, the affliction of that or the difficulties of that, that often could turn a person to God or deepen their spirituality, not necessarily, but often that would be the case. But when that shifts, if there isn't an understanding of the spiritual warfare that we're engaged in, then we can take those things for granted, the abundance, and simply embrace them as blessings, which in some ways they are, of course, but we can, again, embrace them with a lack of order, you know, disordered, imbalanced, emerges, and then it affects us spiritually. We talked about this in some of the groups on fasting, in particular that I've done, that part of the reason also that the monks gravitated towards eating less meals during the day, like the desert fathers moved to the regular fast of eating once a day, which also meant that you had to prepare less food for a community as a whole. And this then, in turn, would enable the monastery to give alms, to provide food for the poor, that, you know, in many monasteries of our day, just like within our homes, there is a preparation of multiple meals for a day. And there's also what goes along with that, typically, is kind of great waste. A lot is disposed of that cannot be eaten. So we spend more on food, and then we end up throwing away an enormous amount of it, plus then our minds aren't often turned towards those who have very little food. And we sort of get lost in that abundance, and, again, seek to protect it. You know, the rationalization is that we need to be able to provide for ourselves, and then so have to be careful with, you know, what we have financially. And for the monks, you know, part of what was built into the spiritual tradition, and St. Peter Chrysologus, if you read his homily that is in the bravery for Ash Wednesday, he talks about sort of the three legs of the stool, fasting, prayer, and alms given, and that these three are linked together, and the stool becomes unsteady if you remove any one of those three, that the fasting deepens the prayer, but it also leads to greater alms giving. And when we neglect these, we're also neglecting charity towards others. And so, you know, I think in our day, it would be, again, counterintuitive, it would be counter culture, cultural, to move to greater simplicity in our diet, but also to think about how we, how we eat, and the amount that we prepare, the way that we prepare things, how many meals that we have a day. And I mentioned to you, Adelberg Devogues' book, To Love Fasting, and he captures there very well how the body it does adjusts, and we realize that we aren't weakened in the way that we think. We just have to be wise about it, and eat the things that are nourishing when we do eat, but we can engage in our labors without any danger to ourselves on a physiological level. And in fact, he found himself both on an intellectual level and physical level, to be every bit as capable as he was higher to embracing that fast of the fathers, and even more so. And in so many of these stories, you hear how long they lived. And partly, they weren't eating any processed food. You know, they weren't eating any junk food. And nor were they putting stress, you know, on their bodies, you know, and certainly by being, you know, too overweight. So I don't think that we can talk about fasting and abstinence too much in our day, because it's if gluttony is always at the beginning of the list for us of the passions that we struggle with, whether it's the seven capital sins or the eight vices of Cassian, the order is always the same. It begins with our bodily appetites. This is where the battle must be waged and waged early on and throughout the course of our life, because it is, again, a natural desire and need that we have. And so to be attentive to how we are engaging in this reality is essential. And this is something that has to begin within the homes, you know, and but again, connected. It can't be just this abstract thing in the mind. It really has to be this lived experience of it. And I've mentioned in the past what I push about about the Eastern rights are the greater periods of fasting leading up to the holy feast. So the 150 or so days of fast throughout the course of a year. And again, though that can be something that becomes mechanical or where it's not being perfected each year in terms of how you're embracing it, if it just becomes again a cultural thing. And so we really need to be speaking about this a great deal. It was interesting. I did a little podcast with the Catholic gentlemen. They're pretty well known in Catholic circles and do some really wonderful talks and interviews, but they had me come on to do one on fasting. And it was interesting. And it was the feedback that we got from that was extraordinary. Because again, I think it's one of the neglected things of the spiritual life. But intuitively, I think we know it's a big issue for us. You know, the emotions are so tied to it as well, you know, because we are born and immediately we are suckled. And so our eating becomes very, very tied to this emotional experience of union with the other. And, you know, when we age, you know, and individualize, you know, we become our own person. You know, we struggle with these experiences of that longing on an unconscious level for this union, this union. And so emotionally, we often will act out on that by feeding ourselves. You know, it gives us that feeling of being nourished and nurtured. And so it's kind of a natural thing for us to, you know, run for the chips after we've had a hard day, you know, just to make ourselves feel good, like somebody's holding us. I mean, whenever you look at a mother holding her infant and it's sleeping and you think, oh, man, I wish I could sleep like that, or somebody would hold me, you know, I would just. And but, you know, they get into that like milk coma. And I think that's what happens to us. It alters, you know, our brain chemistry, our emotional state, and lulls us for a short period of time into a kind of level of comfort. And we can't underestimate psychologically, as well spiritually, how powerful that is. And so we don't want to demonize it, but we just have with as with so many things, we just have to see that these things are so, such a powerful part of who we are as human beings, that we have to understand them in order that we might live the life that God has called us to. There's a couple of comments here. Waste not, want not, skinny not. That's right. My uncle's always had this thing that you have to clean your plate and it should be so clean, you should be able to put it right back in the cover without having to wash it. And so it sort of gets it in your mind. And again, those were people who came out of the, they were guys who came out of the depression, depression. So you don't leave anything on your plate. And in the military, what is it you take what you want, but you eat what you take. So you don't like throw anything in the garbage. So again, that can be driven into us pretty early. And then Adam wrote prayer, mercy, fasting, these three. That's right. This is from Peter Chrysologous. These three are one, and they give life to each other. Fasting is the soul of prayer, almost giving the life blood of fasting. Let no one try to separate them. They cannot be separated. Peter Chrysologous, I think is one of the most neglected of the fathers. But I think he's overshadowed maybe by John Chrysostom, who bears a similar name. But his homilies, he never wanted to burden his congregation, his homilies are very compact, but they're so rich and substantial. So if you can get your hands on a volume of Peter Chrysologous, his homilies, you won't regret it. They're really beautiful. Okay, any other thoughts before we move on? Thank you again for that, Adam. Appreciate you. All right. The next hypothesis, 16, how the fathers loved fasting and how they were successful in it, and to what extent they were strict in their observance of it. So to love fasting, again, it pleases me to find that as the subtitle, from the drawn to con. Concerning Aba Arsenius, Abadaniel told us that the elders stayed with us for many years, and we would give him only one basket of wheat for the entire year. We too ate from it when we went to his cell. So one basket of wheat for the year, and they ate whenever they came to visit. It would make you not want to have very many visitors, I would think. But you'd go through your supply, but it shows you that, again, when we go through this, that they knew that they could not pamper the body, especially in their environment, that that would be the real tendency, because when they remove themselves from the things that do nourish us on this emotional level, nor that they might rely solely on God, that coal is going to be pretty strong. So they persevere with themselves in this environment, which really put them to the test. Forest writes, in hypothesis 16, there are stories of extreme fasting, some of which must be miraculous, but not without the imitations that are tested. There are several saints who lived multiple years only on consuming the Eucharist, Catherine of Siena, Joseph of Cubertino. That's right. And the same is true with the desert fathers. You begin to see that by grace, they seem to rise almost above the natural needs of the body and are sustained on the supernatural level. And so they become almost like angels, in that sense, that they become more and more nourished simply upon the grace of God. Number two, the elder ate fruit, Avidaniel continued, but once a year in the autumn, he would say to us of his own accord, bring me some fruit, and we would take it to him. Only then did he taste all the fruit, giving thanks to God, behold, and see how he overcame self-gratification by continents, but also counteracted Venglory and pride by partaking of fruit only once a year. So that he would avoid pride in Venglory of seeing himself as being the exceptional faster or having others see him in that fashion. So once a year, he would allow himself some fruit, which again, to us, sounds unbelievable. But again, it's pushing to the extreme, the limiting of those appetites, and in order, again, that everything might be ordered and directed toward God. Number three, Abba Killis once visited Abba Isaiah and found him eating. He had put salt and water on his plate, which he hid behind some plated pombranches. When he noticed Abba Killis coming towards him, as later events proved, he did this out of a spirit of dispensation so as to avoid scandalizing his visitor. For such a custom did not prevail in skittis. Now, when Abba Killis found him chewing without there being anything in front of him, he said to him, tell me, what were you eating? Forgive me replied Abba Isaiah. I was cutting pombranches in the heat, and when I came to eat, I put bread with salt into my mouth, but the bread did not go down because my throat was parched from the heat. For this reason, I was compelled to put water on the salt. So as to satisfy my need for sustenance, but forgive me. Abba Killis then said, come and see Isaiah eating soup in skittis if you want to eat soup. Go to Egypt. So there was this kind of, not competition with each other, but there was this sense where they, when they saw others embracing this asceticism, that they would allow it to drive them forward, you know, in pursuing things in greater measure. And so it almost sounds funny to read, you know, the idea that, oh my goodness, he should soak a little bit of bread and water and salt, just so that he could gag it down. You know, it's, I think, to modern ears. Again, it would seem to be nothing less than, you know, a kind of sadism or masochism, I should say. But again, we want to keep it in perspective to the environment. You know, that again, this was the desert and a kind of laboratory, there weren't the roles, I think, that came into existence for good reason. I think any terrorism ultimately has to be shaped by the church, by the body of the church itself. And so the practice of the common life, even the practice of fasting itself, you know, the church has this stored wisdom of the lived faith throughout the ages. And so seeks to order even the great carerism of some of these saints in such a way that it can be embraced by the the church as a whole. And again, that it would avoid extremes. And so often new communities say, especially in the, in the West would arise based upon the carerism of a particular founder. And, and so many would follow that founder because of the richness and the beauty of their faith and how they engaged in the spiritual life. Again, Francis with CC in the West is a great example of this, you know, the love of poverty and his care for the poor. And, but in a community such as this, in order to persevere, would have to have a role come into existence to guide those that would follow, follow and that might not have the guidance or the wisdom of their founder. And so the church is typically fairly quick to bring a kind of order to that. I think in some ways, this is what again also has attracted me to the Eastern vision of monasticism, that there is this kind of single view of the monastic life and an understanding that there is a role to be followed. And that there are these various forms, the anchorite who lives in deep solitude, the centabyte or those who live in the skeet, you know, small, very small communities. But basically, they're all seeking the same ends, entering, engaging in the same spiritual battle, have the same understanding of anthropology, the makeup of the human person. And, and there is something beautiful about that, because I think over the course of time, it enables this vision to be maintained and then taught to future generations. Whereas there is a kind of richness in the West with the rise arising of these newer communities that have these particular charisms. The struggle though is when their founder does die, that sometimes that vision can be lost, or they can become disconnected from the spiritual tradition as a whole, in terms of some of the things that we're talking about in regards to the ascetic life. Their founders may have had that very clearly in mind and forming their spirituality, but future generations might not. And so there's an importance for us and for all communities to be rooted in the spiritual tradition and to be passing that on. And this is, I think, one of the things that did not happen with the council, the race or small, the going back to the sources, both the scriptures, but the charisms of particular founders, but also the wisdom of the spiritual tradition, that this is what we should have been doing from the beginning. And I think what we found is just sort of a kind of chaos entered into the life of the church, experimentation that wasn't rooted in a wisdom that was passed on. And it costs a lot of harm, I think, to individuals. Or, you know, you hear people in their 80s saying, you know, why is this the first time that I'm hearing about this? And there's a reason for that is because we moved away from it. And to be fair, I think this took place certainly before the Second Vatican Council. I mean, it didn't happen overnight. These kind of things typically did develop over the course of centuries or so. But a movement away maybe towards a more legalistic view and practice of things rather than understanding them with a kind of depth and being driven by the desire for God and the love for God. And so, you know, this is what makes this effort so important, not just for ourselves, but I think for the life of the church. The church as a whole would be strengthened by it. Okay. Any comments so far? Okay. Number four, Abba Benjamin said, "When we returned to speedus after the harvest, they brought us a little something from the agricultural products of Alexandria, about a pint of olive oil, and vessels sealed up with plaster. The following summer, each of the brothers brought his vessel to the church with the oil that he had left over. I brought my own vessel, which I had not opened, but which after making a small hole in it with a needle, I had only tasted. Indeed, my heart experienced great joy, supposing that I had achieved something great. But when all the vessels were gathered together, those of the brothers were found to be completely intact with the plaster just as it was when the vessels were first given to them. Whereas mine had a hole in it. This caused me as much embarrassment as if I had committed fortification." Now, you know, that's again pretty strong, but he sees this as a kind of infidelity to the rigor of their ascetic state that he had thought had imagined in his mind. This is what he's talking about, not so much the rigor, but that he had thought that he had performed some great act of asceticism. He had just pierced the plaster and gave himself the luxury of tasting it. And so thought that, "Oh, my, I'll bring mine back and it'll just have this little pinprick in it." And but when he comes and everybody else hasn't even opened it, it humbles him in a deep way. And so this is where he could say, "You know, I was more embarrassed by it than if I had committed an act of fornication, that there was, I'd give him myself over to pride," which is a far greater sin to struggle with. And for us, I think that's the important thing to take away from this, that we don't, we cannot compare ourselves to others. What we have to be attentive to is the providence of God in our life where he puts us, embracing the life that he has given us, living it as, as holy and humble as we can. But to keep our eyes fixed upon what's going on within our own heart and the spiritual battle there, not comparing ourselves to the practices of others. If we do so, it should be only with the saints in order that they might spur us on in the spiritual life, that they might inflame the desire for God within us. And so we should never judge others, certainly in their particular struggles. Again, you would go back to the first volume of the Evergatinas. If you remember the alcoholic monk, you know, that he was raised by alcoholics and was even given alcohol as a child. And so he came to the monastery and was allowed to enter by the abbot and fought with it throughout his whole life and made some gains, but he died, you know, drinking every single day. But it was the struggle, it was the desire to struggle against this appetite that was deeply ingrained in him. It was his fidelity to the battle itself, not the victories, but his fidelity to God and the desire to be free from this, that makes him righteous in the eyes of God. And the holy abbot then sees him after he dies, as being raised up to heaven, whereas all the other monks thought that his was a wasted life, that he was the worst of all monks. When in reality, you know, his hidden struggle was far more heroic than any of them could imagine, even though it seemed like a failure to them. So again, you know, I think we do this kind of injustice, you know, the monastic life is not for the perfect. These little pious, you know, individuals that show up at the monastery door, you know, it's really for those who see themselves as radically in need of healing. And so they come to the monastery knowing that they struggle with the passions to do battle and to be aided and strengthened by the community and to be guided. And so often, you know, I think we, and the pope is warned about this too, evaluating people, you know, that we come across or within the church or seeking to enter the church or monasteries and scrutinizing them in a way that is really blind, perhaps to the action of God and his grace in their life, or where we lose the vision of seeing the presence of God within them. And so we judge them harshly, not realizing that God could be doing wonders through them. And they're all, we have so many examples of this, murderers, you know, rapists who underwent incredible conversions and gave them their lives over to penance for the rest of their life. Moses the Black in the East is one of the greatest, became one of the greatest settings. And there was one who murdered, was it Maria Gretti? And then underwent a conversion and was that her canonization with her mother? I think it was Maria Gretti. I'm not sure if I have the right one there, but it was an extraordinary thing. Is that right, Maria? Yeah. And so we never again want to make that judgment. All things are possible with God. And, you know, Klamakos tells us, you know, if pride can make demons out of angels, then humility could make angels out of demons. Speaking of us, that is, that if we're humble, then we can be raised up to experience the fullness of the life of race. Okay. Number five, Ava Benjamin, the presbyter of the cells, recounted the following story to us. We once visited a certain elder in Skeetis, to whom we had gone on another occasion. When we wanted to put a little olive oil in the food and eat with the elder, he said to us, over there is a small vessel of olive oil that you brought me three years ago. And it remains closed just as you left it. Take from it whatever you want. On hearing this, we modeled at the strictness of the elder's way of life. So, you know, certainly something like olive oil would not have been forbidden certain seasons, fasting seasons perhaps, but would not have been forbidden for cooking something. But it's, again, there wasn't just this legal sense that they had of the ascetic life, that the struggle there, again, was with what was going on interiorly, the passions that they struggle with the most. And so, where there was this need, that they would let go of what is legitimate, that sometimes we're called to give up things that on the surface are benign, that they aren't overtly sinful, but they can weaken our resolve or dull our sensibilities to the things of the kingdom. And so, we set them aside. And in our day, actually, that might be a pretty difficult thing, because I think technology is one of them, our use of the phones and things such as that, we become locked in, again, to virtual reality, not to reality itself, the reality that presents itself to us, you know, in the individuals before us, but also what's going on internally. And so, there are a lot of different ways where we might be called to give up, you know, not just what is obviously problematic for us, but to make sacrifices that go beyond what those in the world would perhaps see as necessary, in order that we might strive to, again, enter by the narrow path or the narrow door. The same elder said to us, on another occasion, we visited another elder who detained us for a meal. He said radish oil, a bitter oil made from the seeds of a wild mustard-like plant, the oil seed radish before us, and we said to him, "Father, it would be better if you served us a little olive oil." When he heard this, the elder made the sign of the cross and said, "If there is another kind of oil other than this, I know nothing of it." Not an elder you would want to visit. They even suggest to him, "Elder, come on, bring out a little olive oil for us here." Instead, he gives them something that is bitter. Again, I think what we see in the fathers and what they saw in the elders was this lived gospel, the pascal mystery in this concrete fashion, this dying to self and sin in order to live for Christ. The dying of the ego, of the false self, in order that the true self in Christ might emerge. They become very powerful examples. They make the gospel ever so concrete and tangible, even through these little stories, that this dying to self will, by letting go of fruit or olive oil or whatever it might be, on the surface can seem small. It's in giving up these small things, or our will in regards to small things, that then allows us to let go of our will when the providence of God guides us down a path that really goes against our will in a powerful way. We're able to say yes to a particular cross that God might ask us to carry or place before us. Something certainly far more bitter than oil seed radish. I think probably most of us have tasted something in our life, certain crosses that are far more bitter than something like a bitter food. I think that's the point of it. There are times that we've had to really bear with afflictions that were not only distasteful, but were completely reprehensible to us, but yet had to say yes to God and to love and try to be charitable in the midst of it. Number seven, we said Abba disc chorus that the bread which he ate was made of barley or lentils. But the same Abba was also said that every year he began a new type of acesis. This year he would say, I will not meet with anyone, or I will not speak at all, or I will not eat cooked food or fruit or vegetables, and throughout the year he would act in accordance with the limit that he had set for himself. When a year spent in one kind of acesis had finished the following year he would start another kind. In this way he succeeded in acquiring a dispassionate attitude toward all things, and in overcoming everything in which he saw himself as being deficient. It's an interesting little bit of counsel there that he takes upon himself a different special kind of acesis for a given year, not neglecting others, but taking on something that might be focused on a particular struggle that he had. John Klonkus actually was, he had gained this reputation for having this deep wisdom, and so monks were going out from the monastery to his cave for counsel, and the monks of the monastery at St. Catharines became jealous of him and accused him of being a kind of gossip, talkative individual, and so he took a vow of silence, and until the monks eventually came out and begged him to cease the discipline that he had taken upon himself, and as we know eventually he was made abbot of the monastery, but because he said even if there might be something that they are seeing within me that might be true, and so rather than becoming, rather than his walls going up and becoming defensive and arguing about it, he as it were put himself to the test, he imposes upon himself a silence to test to see if there was this desire to be seen as wise, to be looked at, to be looked to for wise counsel, or was he doing this as it were in a dispassionate way, simply out of love and charity for others, and so it purified and perfected his virtue, but it also eventually humbled those within the monastery and freed them from the resentment of John and his holiness, and so this practice of, you know, at a certain time of the year of examining our life and the passions that we struggle with, and taking upon ourselves for a year, certain disciplines may be a little bit more difficult for ourselves, and holding to that for that longer period of time until a greater freedom would come to us. And again, you know, even some of the things that we've talked about, you know, whether it's social media or whatever it might be, or television, to say, you know, I'm going to, you know, give that up for a year or radically limit it for a year, might be an essential thing for us to do to gain some important freedom in regards to, you know, a passion, but also a greater freedom for ourselves in our life of prayer that becomes more focused. So a lot to think about there. Again, don't get over focused upon the intensity of the disciplines, but rather what they were striving for in the virtues behind it. My poor mom, these little dates, the dogs in us will just share this from the same food. That will limit our food budget, you know, it must be nourishing, but, you know, they could live over it, we certainly can. So, okay, folks, a lot to take in, so pray about it, and we'll pick up there next week. And also Wednesday, we'll still have the Larry Divine descent group. Okay, so one because he's always with our father, the name of the father, the son of the Holy Spirit, our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen. The Lord be with you. I mean, I'm going to go bless you the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Go on, peace. Thanks for your time.
