Philokalia Ministries

The Evergetinos: Book Two - Hypothesis XIV, and XV, Part I

It is not only external realities the drive us to this but also vainglory. In some sense our desperate need to protect our dignity and self-esteem can be greater than our bodily desires. We will fight desperately to keep ourselves from the experience of humiliation or to hold on to a position of emotional power in relationships. However, in all these things, we sacrifice true freedom, joy, and peace. For when we embrace our identity in Christ as sons and daughters of God, when we let go of our attachment to the things of this world, then we begin to experience a kind of invincible freedom and joy.

He who belongs to Christ has all; and whatever he loses within this world for the sake of Christ will be returned a hundredfold. What the fathers are trying to teach us is that while we suffer within this world we never suffer alone or in isolation. Our communion with Christ means that he is always present to us and that the crosses we bear only draw closer to him. The love of the kingdom is cruciform. Thus, to allow ourselves to be broken and poured out is to manifest that love in its perfection

Text of chat during the group: 00:08:55 Bob Cihak, AZ: P. 115, "F" 00:10:08 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: Good evening everyone 00:11:53 Jessica Michel: Hello Father Charbel. Good Morning 01:10:05 Forrest Cavalier: I have read to 74 of “To Love Fasting” the point is very clear that gradually accepting discipline makes it easier to accept harder discipline. This can take years. 01:10:05 Lorraine Green: Thank you Father! 01:10:23 Forrest Cavalier: I meant page 74 01:14:40 Maureen Cunningham: Thank You 01:15:10 Susanna Joy: Thank you, Father Charbel. 01:15:20 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you🙂 01:15:27 Erick Chastain: thank you father charbel 01:15:27 Jessica Michel: Thank you 01:15:31 Cameron Jackson: Thank you. 01:15:33 Troy Amaro: Thank You Father.

Duration:
1h 1m
Broadcast on:
24 Jun 2024
Audio Format:
mp3

Humility and affliction: Two words that often evoke within us intense fear and anxiety. We are formed by a kind of pathological self-love. The fathers understood our focus upon worldly things as a need to create a sense of security and identity. We desperately want to protect ourselves from hardship and from pain and so we surround ourselves as much as we can to distract ourselves from the reality of death or the presence of suffering in our lives and in the world. It is not only external realities the drive us to this but also vainglory. In some sense our desperate need to protect our dignity and self-esteem can be greater than our bodily desires. We will fight desperately to keep ourselves from the experience of humiliation or to hold on to a position of emotional power in relationships. However, in all these things, we sacrifice true freedom, joy, and peace. For when we embrace our identity in Christ as sons and daughters of God, when we let go of our attachment to the things of this world, then we begin to experience a kind of invincible freedom and joy. He who belongs to Christ has all; and whatever he loses within this world for the sake of Christ will be returned a hundredfold. What the fathers are trying to teach us is that while we suffer within this world we never suffer alone or in isolation. Our communion with Christ means that he is always present to us and that the crosses we bear only draw closer to him. The love of the kingdom is cruciform. Thus, to allow ourselves to be broken and poured out is to manifest that love in its perfection --- Text of chat during the group: 00:08:55 Bob Cihak, AZ: P. 115, "F" 00:10:08 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: Good evening everyone 00:11:53 Jessica Michel: Hello Father Charbel. Good Morning 01:10:05 Forrest Cavalier: I have read to 74 of “To Love Fasting” the point is very clear that gradually accepting discipline makes it easier to accept harder discipline. This can take years. 01:10:05 Lorraine Green: Thank you Father! 01:10:23 Forrest Cavalier: I meant page 74 01:14:40 Maureen Cunningham: Thank You 01:15:10 Susanna Joy: Thank you, Father Charbel. 01:15:20 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you🙂 01:15:27 Erick Chastain: thank you father charbel 01:15:27 Jessica Michel: Thank you 01:15:31 Cameron Jackson: Thank you. 01:15:33 Troy Amaro: Thank You Father.

[music] What you are about to listen to is a podcast produced by Philaklea Ministries. Philaklea Ministries is offered to all free of charge. However, there are real and immediate needs associated with it. If you are a regular listener or enjoy any of the content produced by Philaklea Ministries, we humbly ask that you consider becoming a contributor. You can learn more about our funding needs at www.philakleaMinistries.org. Please note that Philaklea Ministries is not a 401(c)(3) nonprofit organization, and that contributions are not tax deductible. Supporting Philaklea Ministries is just like supporting your other favorite podcasters and content creators, and all proceeds pay the production bills, make it possible for us to pay our content manager, and provide a living stipend for Father David. God bless you and enjoy the podcast. [music] Glory to Jesus Christ. Glory forever. Welcome back, everybody, to our study of the Everguitinos. And we are picking up this evening on page 115 with letter F at the bottom of the page, St. Ephes from the Syrian. And if you remember, the title of the hypothesis was on keeping vigil, but is breaking the night for sleep. But as we found, it has also been an extended discussion on the nature of repentance. And again, it's being a continuous reality for us, that our desire is really to find ourselves in a constant state of being turned toward God. And so certainly turning away from our sin, but more importantly, turning toward He to His love. And to keep ourselves from being distracted from the things that would enliven our passions and draw us perhaps into sin or open us up to the provocation of the evil one. And vigils is certainly a way of being more mindful of God throughout the course of the day, as well as throughout the night. And again, as we go through this, and as we move into the coming hypotheses, even when they seem hyperbolic, when we get into some of the stories of the disciplines of the fathers, especially around fasting, in fact, the author sort of warns us about it, that what we are to respond to these stories with is humility, that when we look at their desire for God and their willingness to discipline themselves, that this is to humble us in the sense of making us ask whether we have the same zeal for God and the same zeal for holiness and to step away from our passions as they did, not that we are called to imitate them and some of the extreme nature of say the fasting that some of them embraced. So again, we're on page 115, Letter F. Cineph from the Syrian, "Brother, be sure to walk willfully on the way that is narrow and full of afflictions before walking unwillingly on one that is narrower, do not cherish bodily rest, lest you find spiritual harm therein." So it's an interesting little saying, to make sure that you willingly walk upon these paths of affliction, that we let go of fleeing from the things in our life that are difficult the crosses, and to acknowledge that part of our being engaged in the spiritual warfare is also going to be experiencing the afflictions that life often brings to us, what it is to live in a fallen world, but also to live in a world where there is a battle against principalities and powers against demons. And so we're going to face often the sinfulness not only with our own hearts, a bit of others, violence, hatred, but also we will know the affliction of illness, the cross of illness and things such as this. And so part of our call is to serve the providence of God. It doesn't mean that we don't do anything, for example, with illness seeking doctors' help and things such as that, but that we do not fall into despondency because of these things, that we recognize the providence, the presence of God, within the very crosses that we are called to bear, that there is nothing, no matter how difficult that we experience, where God is absent to us, that He's always present within these things and in these crosses more than we realize. And it's also through these things that there is growth in virtue and sanctity, and so far from fleeing from them or being anxious about them, that we are to trust that He's present and will provide what is needed for us. And so Ephraim is telling us here to make sure that we willingly walk upon that narrow path, the leads to the kingdom, unless we are placed upon an even narrower path where we are dragging our feet or kicking and screaming along. It's often when we see a full of nearly head of phrase that those who flee across often find themselves experiencing a heavier one being laid upon them, often by their own choosing, that rather than taking up the cross that is before them, if they flee it, they find the weight of something far greater upon them. Not its punishment, but I think this is often the consequence of seeking to escape reality, the reality of our lives. And this includes the cross, as we've been shown by Christ Himself. And we can embrace that in a spirit of obedience, of trust in the Father, embracing it in love in order that it might be transformed, become something that's sanctifying not only for us, but for all those around us as well. And we hear little pious phrases that no suffering is wasted, but there is truth in that, that all things that we bear are united to that of Christ, by virtue of our baptism and reception of Holy Eucharist. So the crosses that we bear are united to its own cross. This is what Paul means, for instance, make up for what is lacking in the sufferings of Christ. In other words, add your own willingness to embrace the cross in order to participate in the redemptive mystery, the Paschal mystery, that this is the intimacy that we experience with Christ, that we participate in the most real way in his redemptive work. In our passive bystanders, in other words, in the mystery of our salvation and redemption. It's been given to us to participate intimately in the redemptive work of Christ and to enter into it fully. And so this is what Ephraim is saying, don't flee from these things or be fearful of them. This eventually you might find yourself on a path that is even more narrow and difficult to travel. And if there has been a lack of courage or fidelity that one has expressed, then it's not going to get easier. In other words, we find strength in our fidelity and in our trust in Christ as we move along, as we embrace those afflictions, as we see the action of his grace. And even if we only see it after the fact after we pass through an affliction, nonetheless we can grow and courage and hope that he can make all things work for the good of those who love them. And certainly when we're going through such things, it can be very hard to see or believe that. And this is why the lives of the saints is such an important part of our spiritual life as Christians, that we are surrounded certainly by a communion of saints who support us through their prayers. Also, we have the living witness of the saints and the martyrs for nearly 2000 years to spur us on as we face these things in our life as well. Okay. Letter G at the bottom of page 115 and top of 116. Humility and hardship, free man from every sin. The former cuts out all the passions of the soul, the latter of those of the body. This is clearly clearly what the blessed David did as is shown by the words of his prayer to God. Look upon my loneliness and my toil and forgive all my sins. So humility. It undercuts all of the passions that the when we acknowledge our poverty before God, our need for his mercy and grace. We let go of the illusions of our own strength and our own virtue outside of his forgiveness and support. We also embrace the afflictions that we've been talking about the hardships. This then can perfect the virtues within us. That the faith that we see in our willingness to embrace that toil and hardship, not only helps to cleanse us of our our sin, but even perfect what is good within us. And then we see this in Paul when he speaks of Christ, he's made perfect through his suffering. And not that there was imperfection within Christ, but we see the perfection of that love that selfless love when it is poured forth upon the cross. And the love of God and the nature of that love for us becomes perfectly manifest before our eyes. And we continue to see it and not only see it, but receive it within the Holy Eucharist. What is made manifest on the cross, we see we experience the power and the healing bomb of that when we receive the Holy Eucharist as well as the strength to participate in that redemptive work. And so two very powerful statements here from Ephraim and Maximus to close out this hypothesis. To have no fear, be not afraid was John Paul II's constant refrain, it seemed that we need not fear the things of this world because in Christ we have all. And again it's easy to say that it's another thing to shape our hearts and allow our hearts to be shaped by the grace of God, and by being obedient to the path that he sets before us. And then we have final comments before we move on to the next hypothesis. Concerning pathological self love hypothesis 14 sort of modern title for it, but nonetheless, it is expressive of what we struggle with pathological that it is something that is expressive of a deep wound at the really at the heart of our identity. Instead of our love being directed toward the other for God and towards those before us, it's most often directed towards ourselves, and the satisfaction of our desires and appetites are baser wants and needs. To begin this evening with Abba Isaiah on page 117, who fears bodily illness does not attain to the measure of his natural aptitude, nor can he acquire the virtues. But if one falls with reverence before God in every trap is every trouble, God can give him relief. If Gideon had not broken the pictures, he would not have seen the light of torches that burned within them. If a man does not disdain his body, he cannot see the light of the God. Beautiful and interesting phrase, certainly in the story of Gideon, you know, they're sent to do battle and with a small group of men, without fear, and but they carry with them also these jars that have a lighted torch within them. And as they are going to battle there to cry out, and then, but also to smash these jars that have the lighted torch within them. And, and similarly, you know, the fathers are drawing a comparison here of the these individuals from the Old Testament going into battle against enemies to our going into battle against the evil one or against sin. By allowing ourselves, you know, we are the jar, if you will, and to allow ourselves to be broken and poured out, sort of like the image of the woman who comes with the alabaster jar filled with ointment. That this becomes such a powerful and provocative image of the love of the kingdom and the love of the cross. And so Isaiah is telling us here. You know, if we don't disdain the body that is if we don't allow ourselves to be broken in the sense of taking up our share of the cross, but also dying to self. And not satisfying all of our appetites of disciplining the body, we will never see the light of the Godhead. Just as if they didn't break those jars they would never have seen the lighted torches, or their enemies would have never seen the lighted torches within them. And so we are allowed to allow ourselves to be broken and poured out in love, and both through our humility but through the afflictions that we bear. And this makes us strong for one reason, because it unites us in an ever deeper way with Christ in his suffering that we receive the Holy Eucharist precisely that we might be able to do this. And I think this is why we understand why so many left his company, when he offered his teaching on the Holy Eucharist, you know that they knew. And we always assume that where they were ignorant completely of what he was saying and on some level that may have been true but I think they were grasping something here that if this was one who was going to allow himself to be broken and become food for others, then to follow him would mean to imitate him in the most radical way. And so half of his company departs at that point. And I think that's true, even today, what we see in the scriptures, I think when we encounter suffering in our life, and when we are called to allow ourselves to be broken and poured out in love for others, as well as for God. That a lot of us depart from Christ at that point. You know, we might still bear the name, but in terms of the lived reality, we are not living in him or necessarily manifesting the love of the kingdom. But we receive the Holy Eucharist precisely that we might be conformed to that reality so it's a fearsome thing to come forward and to say amen to the body of Christ, because what we were saying amen to is not only our reception of the gift of that life of love, that love of the kingdom. But we're saying, amen, so be it that I might become what I receive, that I might allow myself to be broken and poured out in love for others, that my response to the sin of the world to the world's hatred and violence would not be violence. But to offer forgiveness, forgive them father for they do not know what they do, that we might allow ourselves to be stretched and poured out. And, you know, I think this is why, you know, Paul says, you know, the cross is a stumbling block. It's really only a stepping stone for those who have faith who can see the beauty in it. But for most in the world, it seems like an absurdity that we would worship one pin to a cross, and that we would reference the cross. And that we would see this as what we are called to conform ourselves to our love is cruciform. Our love is cruciform, which means that it holds back nothing from the other. And especially from God. Let her be from St. Maximus the Confessor. Guard yourself from the mother of people's self love, which is an irrational love of the body. From this love of the self by a kind of spacious justification are born the primary impassioned and most common thoughts. That is, those of gluttony, abbrous and main glory. These thoughts have their origin in the supposedly indispensable needs of the body. And from them, all evils are generally. As I've said then, we must be attentive and must war against self love with great vigilance. For when self love is neutralized, all the thoughts engendered by it are incapacitated. The passion of self love quietly whispers into the mind of the month that his body is in pain. And it urges him to take more interest than he should in its good nourishment supposedly for the sake of providing for the for and governing the body. And this way the monk is gradually enticed to fall falling into the cesspool of hedonism. To the layman, it suggests the thought that he should be more concerned for himself and with the satisfaction of his desires. So, self love, the ego that is something that becomes disconnected from God. The self in isolation from its creator that we live in this state where again we seek to live independently from God in a similar way from as Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. To take hold for ourselves, the sense of being gods, you know, of being free, but free from the one who created us in love. And we're often tempted to that and still tempted to it, where we then lose our true freedom, we become shackled then to our passions once we give ourselves over them, but we lose something far more. Which is our communion with the one who's the source of life and love. And understanding this, the fathers knew that part of the spiritual warfare was not to listen to those, not to listen to those whispers of the evil one telling us, all you really need this to get rid of this pain. Or they make us a little bit of hypochondriacs that the moment we get a sore throat or the moment that we get a headache we're running for the medicine cabinet, you know, taking our zinc tablets or, you know, taking so much vitamin C that would kill horse. You know, or just being anxious about illness getting in the way of our being free to do what we want to do. And this gradually turns us in on ourselves. And once that turning in on the self begins. The movement then towards as Maximus tells us a kind of heat in the sense that we begin to pursue in a habitual way, the things that are about our own satisfaction. And what we think is going to make us happy. And so we desperately turn from thing to thing within the world to find ways to do that, as well as to find ways to avoid the things that are hardships, or require sacrifice on our part on our part. And so it's not a great job, as it might seem, you know that these whispers start off subtly. And they seem reasonable. And we've talked here before about the word excuse, excalza, free from the charge. They're what they are is reasonable lines. You know, it seems like, okay, this is what we should do, we tell us, well, it's the gift of life is a precious thing in our health and so we should take good care of our bodies and certainly that is true. But we can become neurotic about it to the point that it becomes as this hypothesis puts forward it can become pathological when the protecting of the self and our health and body becomes an end, and itself. And again, to be drawn without or even realizing it into this illusion that we aren't going to die. That we put out of our mind, the brevity of our life, our mortality, that we aren't guaranteed anything more than the moment that we are living in. And so at this point, we could pass. You remember the story in the gospel again about the farmer who builds, you know, rips down his silos and builds new ones, bigger ones, and it's told you for what you're going to die this night. You just, you know, put all of this effort into pursuing this to protect, you know, the overflow of what you have for the rest of your life, when in reality, you're going to die very soon. You know, this gave a kind of freedom, I think, to the fathers and kind of freedom that they seek to pass on to us. This awareness of our mortality brings into sharp clarity then, who we are, where we find hope. And where we find a kind of invincible joy that these fears and anxieties of the world can't steal from us and that the demons can't tempt us away from. And so it goes beyond, I think, in what John Klamka says that, you know, he remembers death by the hour ceases to sin. And that's, that's true, because it compels us then to look to you as life. But I think more than that is that it does bring peace and freedom. We know that we are in the hands of the living God, the hands of he was the Lord of life. What do we have to fear. From moment to moment. What do we have to be anxious about. And we live in this culture that creates a fear, such so intense, too. And it drives us, I think, into this pathological self love by anxiety and by fear. You know, we hear the news stories repeated over and over again exaggerated to such an extent that if you listen to them constantly, they would fill anyone with terror and then in between the news stories are these commercials, telling us about these drugs that we need, you know, or we're going to kick the bucket here if we don't have it, or we're going to be happy, unhappy without them. I was watching a little report today is a doctor saying, like, back in the 70s, early 80s. When you go to the doctors, your cholesterol level, if it was around 300, you're in good shape. And then, you know, a little bit later on, you know, this, they come out and they say, well, it has to be 200. So, if you're at 205, then, hey, buddy, you're going to have a stroke unless you get this under control. And the next thing you know, you're put on statins. And, you know, filling your system with all different kinds of things now. No, I'm not a doctor and I'm just, you know, I don't want to go overboard with this but you get the idea that people are selling things. And not even on a conscious level. I mean, I think we underestimate the provocation of the evil one to foment, not only anger and aggression but fears and anxieties. And that permeates so much of our society. And so, you know, this is why the monks will say, stay in your cell and your cell will teach you every state within the heart, where the kingdom of God dwells where the spirit is, in order that you might be guided with the spirit of truth but also into this piece of the kingdom that is within you. And stay within that cell and don't, you know, direct your attention to that which is outside of you that is going to provoke the passions. And so develop this constant remembrance of God. Love, silence love solitude and or that you might stay immersed in that which protects what is most precious and what is your true identity as a son and daughter of God. You know, it's such an extraordinary thing about what the incarnation means for us but also the ascension of the Lord within with our human nature. What that expresses to us that our very life our very being has been taken up into the life of the trial and God. That's our destiny. That's our dignity. And everything in the world pulls us to a much lesser view of what it is to be a human being, which is get the newest thing that is going to satisfy you on the level of sensibility and of your senses. And what's going to attract the, you know, the mind and the body, as well as what's going to, you know, lift your spiritual emotions, but it's not enduring. And, you know, we can wake up decades later and review, see, you know, that all the effort that was put into that or all the anxiety that we had about something was a distraction that, you know, it was something that pulled us away from seeing something that was so important. And, you know, humility, humility, and the humiliation that is affliction. It's hard to see ourselves being freed by that. And, you know, I've mentioned this before, if I've ever made the patron saying of something, it would be anxiety. And I spent most of my youth and adulthood wrapped up in it, and responding to it in a counter phobic way forcing myself into it, but forcing myself into it doesn't necessarily cure it. You know, you, you learned to cope with it and learn coping skills, but is that freedom? No. And it's, you know, when you go through certain things where you lose control, or that where they are humiliating. And then the other side and you think, well, I'm still mean, you know, that was pretty darn humiliating and probably, you know, maybe it, you know, revealed something about me or undermine something that I worked for but, you know, it didn't kill me. It didn't change fundamentally go, and maybe in some ways strengthen me, because in those moments we cling to God, and when we claim to him, we find a kind of deep peace, beginning to emerge within us. And sometimes it takes us a long time to learn that. I've been, I had to be humiliated a lot of times over to let go of my vein glory, because this is part of what Maximus is talking about here. One of the ones they talk about is so insidious is Vanglori of holding on to this image of the South, that we want to hold on to a certain level of dignity. And, and it's funny, you know, you know mine was always public speaking. And so, the way that you hold on to your dignity is to over prepare and memorize, and you know, get up there and, you know, give a talk or preach. And, but, you know, after you do that for a long period of time, you begin to realize, gee, that's tilted. I'm putting on this mass, this image, even talking about things that are of import, the gospel, and yet in the moment of doing that, you can find yourself experiencing a disconnection from God, and even from yourself. Because you know that where that's coming from is, you know, in this part, and maybe it's not so explicit to us, but in this part that is driven by Vanglori. You know, I want to be heard and seen in a particular way, as knowledgeable about this, or having some experience about this. I don't want to get up there and make a fool out of myself or see, you know, have it seem strained. And, but then when you begin to see over the course of years of decades, you know, does that really, what does that express about myself or my relationship with God doesn't bear any fruit. And as a bearing fruit and those who listen to me or encounter me, not just in the pulpit, but at any other time. And then when the frightful answer is no, not, not at least in the way that you thought that then that's the possibility for healing, when you could say no, this is more about the self. You know, I mentioned the spiritual director who said, well, what do you think's going to happen. I'll stand up there and I won't be able to say anything. He said, then what, you know, well, people think I'm stupid, you know, or, or that I'm a terrible preacher. And I said, so what, then, you know, you're humble, and maybe that's what God wants. And maybe that's the thing that's more important for your sanctification. In that moment, then you getting up and giving up prepared, you know, studied presentation, but yet one that cannot reach to the hearts of the other. And then coming out of this mind, a notion of understanding of who God is, what love is rather than out of a heart that experiences it. And so priests would do better, you know, you learn this over time to if you spend three or four hours before the bus sacrament, rather than three or four hours trying to write out a homily or find a quote or, you know, and memorize what you're going to say. You know, I think this touches every area of our lives. You know, this is, you know, one little element, but certainly my fan glory reaches much further than my preaching. But, you know, when that is gone, then, you know, I think a true freedom again begins to emerge. So, I know I'm rambling about this, but I think what I'm trying to get at is that when we hear the word affliction, when we see the sufferings of the saints. And we, you know, hear this encouragement to embrace toil that there's something in us that shrinks back naturally. Because we, you know, there's this physical fear that on a physical level that we aren't going to be able to endure, we know that it's going to be difficult. And, but on a level of faith is where we begin to see beyond the physical aspect of it. And we begin to see the presence of God within it. It's important for us to understand that in terms of our study of all the set of whole life and all of our spiritual disciplines. They're not ends in themselves. So, of the passions, some lead the soul to debauchery, others into hatred, and yet others into debauchery and hatred together, eating a variety of foods and eating dainty foods caused debauchery. In venglorian gender hatred for one's neighbor, the mother of these self love is the cause of them both opposed to this self love, our love agape, the love of God, this selfless love and abstinence. He then, who is overcome by self love has all the passions in his soul. His man says the divine apostle, ever yet hated his own flesh, but keep it under and bring it under subjection, without providing it with anything other than nourishment and coverings. And of these only such as are indispensable for the maintenance of life. And this way then does one love is flesh without passion as a handmade of God. He nourishes and cherishes it only as much as necessary for the satisfaction of its basic needs. So, you know, simplicity of life, it can move certainly far field, you know, gluttony doesn't touch only on food. You know, books we've mentioned once before can be another thing, you know, to fill your house with a thousand books, you know, two or three of which you've read. And, you know, not all calling more than that, but, you know, we, we love to collect things because surrounded by things gives us a sense of security, a stability identity. And, but these things can endure and sometimes when people seek to take them away from us, or we fear that is where this anger and aggression that he talks about emerges. You know, if we're attached to a book, or, or anything like it. I remember once I came home and my some of my records, remember the LPs that actually span on. Now, I think most of you here, probably remember those, but I remember my sister had been digging in them, and some were like left out on the floor and things like that. And I remember calling her I was angry in a fit of anger I called her up and asked, you know, where, you know, were you digging in my records and then you go out and fight in and I hung out for honor. And over a record, you know, this is where this kind of protectiveness, you know, of our things that again we find identity and we don't want somebody messing with those things, because the mess with those things is the mess with something internal for us what they signify. And so I think the fathers realize that the more they let go of those things, the more what was most precious to them could not be messed with. That is the love of God, the self identity, the joy, the freedom that is found in him, the complete lack of fear, lack of anxiety, that these are the things that could be not touched by, you know, what could be taken from from them saying to hear these stories of, you know, robbers coming into their little hut and stealing the few things they have and, but the monk realizing that they forgot something they missed something and he chases them down and says, here you've forgotten this. You know, they'd look at him sort of dumbfounded, you know, what is this that gives this kind of freedom is he not, or is there something else there, a different vision of reality. And I think this is why so many of our saints seem like they were insane, you know, Francis of the CC probably did to everyone in his town, but some of the saints in the way they live their life. And, you know, it was, they seem like peculiar people. And, you know, see how they love one another. Also, people probably were shocked by that because it was loving people in a way that would have seemed absurd, love your enemies care, you know, care for those and pray for those who persecute you. You know, live in a community Isaac tells us that, you know, we are to cover somebody's sin and shame from the view of others in order that they might not be humiliated that we try to lift them up through prayer, and that we would even take the responsibility of their sin upon ourselves that, you know, it seems like complete absurdity to the world but a person who is free. There's not dependent again upon the identity that the world gives, you know, is able to do these kind of things. There's no paragraph here on at 118 from Maximus. What one loves that above all is eager to take care of. If one loves God is anxious to do without fail, whatever is pleasing to God. If in turn he loves his flesh, then he fulfills what gratifies it. The chastity, contemplation, and prayer are pleasing to God, whereas the flesh is pleased by gluttony licentiousness and whatever increases these passions. For this reason, those who love the flesh cannot be pleasing to God. They that are Christ have crucified the flesh with the affections and lust Galatians 524. If the mind is inclined to God, it has the body as a slave and it provides it with nothing more than is necessary for life. But if it is inclined to the flesh, it is enslaved to the passions and desires constantly to pander the flesh. So they realize that when we pamper ourselves, we're overly concerned about health or security, then we become enslaved to these things. Or if we come to love them, is something that gives us the give us great satisfaction, then we are going to eagerly pursue them. But if we love God, and we hold with his precious that has been given to us by him, then we are going to pursue with an unparalleled zeal, the things that draw us closer to contemplation, the ascetic life, the service and care of others, the love of others. These are the things that we're going to cherish and where we are going to direct our energy. And we don't need to go to Egypt, the deserts of Egypt to do this is typically within our own homes. And with those that we see on a daily basis. Those real crosses in our life, just kidding, sorry mom, we're living together now. So, I'm sure she has her moments with me too. So, okay. Any thoughts about this particular hypothesis. Very direct, but immensely helpful. Okay. So hypothesis number 15 talks again about abstinence. So, some from certain things in this world that again, you know, might be benign, but we abstained from embracing them, and certainly in great measure. Again, that we might direct our love to the things that endure. And, and so also then talking to us about the damage caused by an in a moderate attachment to these things. So, we talk, are going to be talking about the life of saints in Kletica, one of the desert Amaz and her love of fasting, and the freedom that her brought, that brought her the depth of her discipline. Aside from the other virtues, which she possessed saints and Kletica did not lack that remedy, which is so vivid for the body, that is she so loved fasting. See, that what I've been saying, and the title of that book to love fasting there it is from saints and Kletica and from the Evergatinas to love fasting that she did not not reckon any of the other ascetic practices to be it's equal. Isn't that interesting that, and again, I think this is tied to the gospel and Christ being for us, the bread of life. And that coming to see Christ as the bread of life is being alone able to satisfy the deepest longing, the deepest hunger of the human heart. And so when we fast from the bodily food and we discipline the body, we begin to see within that desire, the desire for what is enduring, what is what is going to last in Christ throughout his ministry, tries to point to this to reveal himself as this nourishment unto life, the eternal life for us, and the multiplication of the loaves as well, you know that he is going to be the one who sustains us. And if you remember, I think we mentioned in a previous group, how the apostles just after they left the feeding of the 5000 get in a boat, and they're traveling costs to see and they remember Oh my gosh, we didn't bring bread with us. What are we going to do. So he's just fed 5000 men, and he rebukes them for it. He said, you know, you just, you just saw this and you're talking about bread. And so they did not understand, even when they saw with their own eyes. And even when he told them explicitly, I am the bread of life. And when he teaches them about the Eucharist, they still do not grasp it. And again, as soon as they feel the bodily hunger, their mind goes right back there to seek to satisfy. And the thought of hunger, again, points one to thinking about the next meal, how many people after finishing, you know, breakfast or after finishing lunch, you know, there's this conversation, what are we going to have for dinner. What should I make for dinner, you know, it's, it shows us how, you know, our minds revolve around, revolve around eating. But it also makes sense for us, then Christ would give himself to us in this way, in order to transform it both through fasting, you know, that we begin to see in that desire, and that hunger, what he alone possesses. And we find it in the deepening of the prayer that takes places in the humbling of the body. But our reception of the Holy Eucharist also transforms our understanding of what it is to eat to. Or to eat in this very contemplative kind of fashion that draws our minds and our hearts to the one alone who can satisfy us. Again, this is why in monasteries, they'll often move, have prayer right before a meal, and they'll move in silence to the refractory, they'll pray, they'll have readings through the meal. And so that there is this tie between the chapel and prayer and the nourishment of our bodies. And so that we don't lose sight of what is most important, and what Christ has shown us. Okay. Did I get through that whole first prayer act? No, I didn't. And if ever, out of necessity, she ate something more than she was accustomed to eating. She suffered the opposite of what happens to those who eat. That is to say her face turned yellow, and she became debilitated. Just as therefore men prune unfruitful branches from trees with many branches. So also she would remove the thorny outros of her mind in appropriate thoughts with prayer and fasting. And if any thorny growth flourish for just a short while, she would impose different punishments on herself, and would test her body with a variety of labors. So it's interesting that she had fasted so regularly and prayed so deeply that then when she did move away to eat something that was heavier, or that weighed the body down that physically. She began to experience what others would experience if they were fasting for a long period of time, that she began to feel unwell. And I think we experienced this say if we've fast on a regular basis, or we go without meat, or have very little meat within our diet typically, and then we eat something like a steak, or, you know, fried chicken tenders and then all of a sudden it lays in your stomach, like a rock, and you feel sick for the rest of the day, because your body, you know, is not used to that. But, and so it becomes weighed down, and the mind becomes dull and heavy as well so to pray, and moments of that like that becomes almost impossible. Phillip Nary said after any meal we should be able to go to the chapel and pray freely. If we eat to this point that of satiety and beyond, then we aren't going to be able to pray, partly on a physiological level because all that blood runs to the stomach and people usually get very tired, and have a hard time focusing. But it does sort of weigh the mind down, whereas if we eat light, you know, then if we've humbled the body, then the mind typically follows and we're able to find this stillness within us to enter into prayer freely. I don't like the word punish, you know she punished herself but you know she probably did I mean I think she was pretty severe with herself. But she knew that that she had to treat the body in a certain way, in order to discipline it. Because of the strength of those appetites. And so to maintain what was so precious, she would have to take upon herself other labors in order to maintain this focus upon God. It's interesting in a coming paragraph later on I don't know if we'll get to tonight. I want to speak about changing various embracing different forms of asceticism throughout the course of the year, different ways of disciplining the self and ones appetites, not holding on to only one. And well synchodica tells us, you know fasting she saw as the greatest and I think that bears itself out in the writings of the saints, precisely because of what Christ taught about it, himself, and what, and who he is for us as the bread of life. And incorporating these various forms of asceticism allows us to deal with certain tendencies to particular sins, or particular passions. And so knowing those passions well, and the remedies for them becomes very important for us. So that we might apply the appropriate discipline. When the enemy stirred up warfare against her, she would begin by invoking her master and prayer as an ally. And next she would apply strict asceticism against them. Thus she used to eat bread made from brand, and this with great abstiniousness and care, and she would frequently drink no water at all. And again sleep she would struggle seduously, lying outstretched on the ground. When the enemy overcome by these weapons retreated, she would then moderate as the severity of her thesis. She did this, lest the members of her body should all degenerate together from excessive and various severe seizes, and less she fall into danger. For this ability to is evidence of defeat. So, you know she wouldn't moderate her disciplines, and again this is a consistent teaching among the fathers to that we don't weaken ourselves to the point that we aren't able to fulfill our practices are what God has given us to do, but that we also cannot pray that we can hurt ourselves if we weaken ourselves too much that the body is part of who we are so it is to be disciplined. And sometimes discipline severely but we also have to give it a certain measure of care that we might pursue the things that God puts before us. And his weapons have fallen on what will, on what will a general then place his hope for continuing the war. So if we lose that strength, and we lose that ability, what do we, how we to fight the battle for some having become totally exhausted, excuse me, through reckless and indiscriminate fasting have morally afflicted their bodies. Yes, if giving up struggle against the foe have destroyed themselves. So, you know, extremes have always been a challenge. John Cassian, I think is probably the best of the fathers in this regard, and seeking to maintain that balance of avoiding the extreme in one direction or another. A couple things came up for us wrote, I've read to 74 to love fasting to the point where is very clearly a gradually accepting discipline makes it easier to accept harder discipline. This can take years. That's right, that with our fasting, even in this one discipline, if, you know, it can be very difficult to begin with, even to let go of a meal on a given day. But if we allow ourselves to do that, and we find ourselves strengthened in it, then we can deepen that discipline of fasting over time. And this might take decades, as for said, and this is true with things, everything in the spiritual life as it is in other asceticism tied to our worldly pursuits that say Lexio Davina, our meditation upon the scriptures, nobody is going to be very skilled in going about that. You know, in the sense of acquiring the stillness of mind and heart to listen on this very deep level. And to, you know, to remove the passions that prevent us from perceiving the truth that is being revealed to us in them, that the ascetic life and and Lexio Davina are intimately tied together. And again, our practice of it may take years until we begin to see the fruit of it. And so we might meditate upon something within the scripture, and it can emerge in a time of affliction 10 years later. But it's within the mind and the heart that comes forward at a time when one is most needed. And it's interesting, you know, Freud even understood this about the unconscious, he said there's no sense of time and the unconscious. It's all there, everything that we've experienced all the way back it's there but it's been repressed from the conscious level. But if something triggers it, it can emerge instantaneously for us, whether it's the emotion tied to something or whatever it might be. So on a spiritual level, you know, we can meditate upon the scriptures, memorize certain passages. And even on, you know, a given day we might not be conscious of having done that or of that particular word when we're going through a trial or being besieged by a particular passion or carrying a particular cross. You know, a certain passage of scriptures might come forward from the heart almost spontaneously. You know, out of the depths, I cried to the Lord, and it was often one of the powerful Psalms, Psalm 63 Oh God, Oh my God, for you, my soul is thirsty, my body pines for you, like a dry land without water. You know, this is why it's good to memorize the scriptures, because it internalizes them so deeply, but it's not just to have that so we have this recall to be able to spout off the scripture. It's in order that it might nourish us and strengthen us in the spiritual battle when necessary. And, and so we, you know, it's care, it's important that we don't look for instantaneous fruits we trust the God will make it bear fruit, and his own time. That's true fasting and with all the spiritual disciplines. Oh my goodness, it's 8, 830. That hour went extremely fast. So, a lot to think about there, though, and we're getting into some of the specifics of the disciplines, which will be very good for us here in the coming weeks but also how to practice them, and the passions that are often tied to them or that they help overcome. So, we'll stop there for tonight, and there's always with your father, the name of the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, Amen, our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen, the Lord be with you. May all my God bless you, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen. Go in peace. Thanks be to God.