Meet Sharon and Robert, Owners of Conquest in Yukon, Ok. <3
Emotionally Unavailable
Episode 47: Conquest
[MUSIC PLAYING] Welcome to Emotionally Unavailable, the podcast where we dive deep into the world of emotional availability and intimacy. I'm your host, Melissa Hepner. And I can't tell you how excited I am to have you join me on this journey of self-discovery and connection. Whether you're navigating the complexities of relationships or exploring your own emotional landscape, this podcast is here to inspire, empower, and entertain. So get cozy, and let's explore the depths of human emotions together. Hello, everybody. Today's episode is with Sharon and Robert Major. They are the owners of Conquest Martial Arts in Yukon. I cannot say enough good things about them or their gym. They are amazing people. And we have felt very fortunate to have found them. We kind of just put the information in Google and there was like three local places. And I think that was the first one we tried. Or I asked Jake to ask somebody, and maybe they were like, that's the one or something? I don't know. But however we found them, we are so grateful. And if you know somebody who you feel like could benefit from that, they have great trial stuff. You can go try out a few days and see what you think. You can try each class. They will work with you. They are so-- they're just really good people. And listen, I have watched people start this program, and they do improve very quickly if they go to class. So I really will probably join at some point. I'm just working out the hair shit. So you'll hear us talk about that. But anyway, thank you, Sharon and Robert, for everything that you have done for us. We appreciate you so much. And I know Jake does to you. And if he sucks at saying it. So anyway, guys, I hope that you all are doing well. And you guys are OK. I really mean that. And I hope you know that everything is survivable. We can get through it. And just one step at a time, one minute at a time, whatever it takes. And find a fucking support system, man. Whether it's a martial arts gym, or a therapist, or an online support group, whatever it is, find your people. I feel like I'm doing better at that, too. So anyway, OK, enjoy sharing in Robert. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] Yeah. There you are, OK. How are you? How are you? Good. I was just having an emotional conversation with another mother. So it made me think of you because of all the support that you've given me. So OK, let's start with you are-- do you say my husband and I own conquest? Is that how you say it? I'm always like, well, there's the male owner and the female owner. Like, they're a couple, I explain everything way too much. So I'm like, how do you say it? Robert's actually here with me. We both own it. I think initially when we first bought the gym, I thought of it more of his project. He wanted to buy it and turn it into something big. And at the time, I was still being mom, school psychologist. And so over time, I've taken more ownership of the gym, just because I don't do the school psychology thing. And I spend all my time there. Right, right. Well, and you're the mother, bear of the den. Absolutely. You make sure everybody's OK all the time. Absolutely. Well, hi, Robert. How are you? Good. How are you this morning? Oh, so good. So good. Sent that kid of mine off this morning. And I'll tell you what. I was like, I knew this was going to happen, but I wasn't emotionally prepared. And I woke him up and then immediately he's like, do you know where this is? Do you know where this is? Do you know where this is? And I'm like, you motherfucker. Maybe you could have mentioned last night that these were items you were going to need to take to school today. But no, why would we consider that last night when we could do it this morning, right before we're supposed to walk out the door? That sounds exactly right. Well, so how do you guys feel like-- I mean, OK, you're both-- this is the thing. You're both incredibly compassionate that I know. You love people very fiercely. But do you feel like you connect with people emotionally, easily? Man, I don't know. I mean, there's so many-- I'm kind of an empath of sorts. I feel emotions a lot. So that's kind of what I base a lot of what I do on. Right. How I feel like they're feeling, how they're making me feel. If somebody doesn't fit right in the gym when they first walk in, I immediately know it because I feel it. Yes. So I would say that it plays a huge part in what we do. OK, I mean, I would have to agree. I think you definitely pegged Jake right away and was like, oh, we got to help this movie. [LAUGHTER] We got to work our magic over here. Fellas, gather around, gather. No, but I think everybody comes into the gym for a different reason. And a lot of times, they don't even know why they're there until a year later. And they're like, oh my gosh, I was going through this really hard time with my spouse. And now we go through divorces with people. There's just a lot of reasons that people come in to the gym. Maybe they need friends or they need community or they're just-- some people are just looking to lose weight. But I would say a lot of people are looking for an emotional connection of some sort. Yeah. I wouldn't say that most people are very cognizant of that, especially because God, I mean, I shared with you a long time ago that when Jake was going to martial arts at a different place when he was little, because I was like, oh, this helps ADHD ass kids. OK, let's try it. And then I was like, I can't do this. This is just another fucking place for him to get in trouble. But at some point during that time, I'm serious. I was like, OK, no, we're another place for me to feel embarrassed. Nope, not doing it. But at some point during that, my grandma died. And I was really angry. So I was trying to get some of that out. So I joined too. And I don't want to blame them for all of it, because the people that I really like, the owners and stuff there, they are very kind in whatever. But they are not very good at connecting emotionally, necessarily. Or picking up on the fact that other people are struggling when they enter. I do think they can do a part. It really does, because I can remember never feeling a part of it. And I did it for probably four months, which in the grand scheme of thing is not that much. But I mean, I was at that place quite a bit and working with the same people over and over. And I didn't feel that. I also-- it was very kid oriented. They really marketed to ADHD kids. And there's validity in that, just not my bastard ass. But no, I was like, it was so bad. You just kidding. But I didn't realize what all I was looking for or needing from that. And I just couldn't get over myself in four months time to be like, how do you fucking even make friends here? So it's really nice that your gym-- I have not been a part of a lot of gyms, but here's what I know. I've sat in while you guys did the thing with the other gym. And I was a part of a different martial arts program. So here's what I know is that your culture is different in a very, very good way. And you attract those type of people in. I know I've said this before, but I want to make sure that people who hear this understand that, because it is different. You guys really are like a unit together. And an audience sharing is so fucking tiny. You would never know that, because you doesn't give a single fuck. And she will do whatever it takes to protect the people she cares about. So it's just so funny, because I never have to worry about that. You know, people don't believe this about me. But I actually used to have a really hard time standing up for myself or my kids. And so I would be like, shit, I don't know what to say here. But like, I didn't even have to worry about that. It was like two weeks in. And I was like, OK, well, she's got Jake's back. So you know, and I've never really tried to be too like involved in stuff, because I know that my default is too helicopter, the fuck out of my kids. So I try not to, but I don't have to. Because you guys are going to whip his ass in shape, you know? If you don't like something he's doing at the gym, you're going to tell him and not me. And I appreciate that. Not that we've really ever had to have a discussion like that, but you guys, I just want to make sure that you hear me say like to you that I believe conquest is different than other places. I've watched. Yeah, that makes me feel good. All of your coaches have transformed. I mean, how long have we been a part of this? Two years maybe? I've watched all of you guys change over a couple of years time. I mean, I look at Luke and some of the other people. And I'm like, damn, you guys are all just living your passions, which is, you know, yes, my podcast is about being, you know, my journey to discovering more emotional availability. But I'm pursuing a passion and I'm pursuing myself. And that's why I want people like you guys on because that looks different for everyone. No, you're not out there, you know, trying to be a private practice therapist, but you're doing your own form of therapy. I really wanted to touch on one time we talked and you were talking about how Jujitsu specifically is so good for your nervous system and how people with PTSD come in a lot. And that's a lot of your club going on, you know, is that people really need that. And so I wondered if you could talk a little bit about that. Man, there's like a whole program that we do, that we partner with, which is the Weed to Five program. And that's for veterans who have, or what is it, 80% or 100% disabled. A lot of them have PTSD. So I think that those people that come in, like it's obviously a recognized issue. And this whole Weed to Five program is about the fact that they understand that Jujitsu is so good to treat PTSD, that they're willing to provide the ghee and provide the training for these people at conquest. So that's- - Wow, I didn't know that. - I think that in and of itself is the biggest testament to how that works and how people believe that Jujitsu is good in that way. But I mean, we have PTSD from our daily life. So any kind of PTSD, definitely it helps. I can't tell you exactly why. We've talked about this so many times. I can't, I don't understand why Jujitsu works the way that it does. I don't understand if it's because, oh, Robert says he understands. So he'll tell us- - All right, Robert, get it. - Well, yeah, in our adult lives, how many men do you know just go around touching other people? - None. - None, ever. It's totally not acceptable at all. How many have a bunch of friends that they just call and hang out with? None. - None. - It's not something that we do. So for the men that come in here and do this, this may be the first time that they're getting any kind of chest to chest contact that they've had in 20 or 30 years. And it releases dopamine and all these things in your brain and it makes you happy and it brings back those feelings and you're like, wow, this is great. So what, it is actual therapy, what we do. - Yeah, it is. - It's been proven. So those are real things. - Yeah, when you're, I mean, first of all, people don't think about the fact that we do require touch to survive. I mean, if you look at all the studies that were done on those poor little infants in fucking Russia, however many years ago, you know, the control group and the folks group, they had either nurturing and touch during their bottle feedings or they were just fed without being touched and they didn't fucking survive if they weren't touched. Like that's the reason that I was in the hospital by two months old because I wasn't being, I wasn't neglected, but I was not receiving that basic love and care that you're supposed to receive from your caregiver. So if you're walking around and your default state is to not touch and you're right, men aren't allowed to do that. For lots of reasons, women don't want you to and, you know, men are weird about it. So I do think we should normalize hugging more even though I'm like so anti-hug for myself. I'm trying so hard to hug people more. I mean, there's times when it feels less scary and icky and then there's times I'm like, but Jake the other day was like in such a good mood, just so happy everything had been going right for me. He's like, you want to hug mom? I was like taking off guard a little bit and I do have to be prepared for that, even with the kids, I was like, I'm good, we're hugging. I love hugging. - You know, I bet you wouldn't know this, but I actually have a personal bubble about the size of my whole bedroom. So whenever I was asked to do jiu-jitsu the first time, my first thoughts were absolutely not. I don't want anybody touching me. I don't want anybody in my personal space. Like that was a deal for me. Like I'm claustrophobic, I don't want you on me. It was very icky, but this jiu-jitsu is different. Like it makes it okay. I don't know if it's because you're trying to choke the other person at the same time. So it's not so awkward, which that sounds awkward in and of itself. - How are you gonna try to get them off of you at least to where it's like, oh, you're not supposed to do that. You're supposed to be like, embracing. - Exactly. And jiu-jitsu, you may, they may be trying to get chest to chest, but you're trying to get them off of you. So maybe that's why I liked it, but yeah, it was very surprising to me that I liked a sport that would make me be so close physically to somebody else. Yeah, talk about full contact, my God. I mean, y'all really be rubbing up on each other, shoo. (laughing) I am surprised actually to hear this about you because I don't know, you seem like a hugger a little bit. - Oh, no. (laughing) - Well, that makes me feel better because people look at me like I'm nuts whenever I'm like, I just don't like that. Just so good for me. Well, you know what it is? It's the control because the real huggers of the world, they wanna fucking latch on to you. You know what I'm saying? They wanna, they wanna embrace, they want that full chest to chest. And I'm like, a side hug is sufficient. We do not need to be doing all this. My God. Ooh, I digress. - I feel better myself. - Well, you know, I've said that I've thought about it for years, but, and Jake is always like, Mom, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, well, you know, I really like my nose ring and I don't wanna do it that. And I feel like my hair would get pulled and that would be a deal breaker for me. And you know, I just don't know about that, son. I mean, in theory, it sounds so beautiful for me to be a part of that. But I feel like I would get out there and really make an ass out of myself. So I just, I think I've done enough of that in my lifetime. I think I'm good. Thank you, honey. - Yeah, you try it one time and you'll change your mind. - I believe you. That's why I'm not trying it. (laughing) I mean, I don't like you like it. Then I have to touch people. And right now, I just don't want to touch people. (laughing) - Well, and you guys have really grown too, which I believe is a testament to your culture because I'm not saying that I did not like the people from other gyms, but I did notice there was real bravado in other gyms that I don't see in yours. I mean, yes, you have men who have egos and whatever else, but that's all normal life shit. I don't get the feeling from anyone in your gym. Like, no douchey stuff, no, like, I'm here to, you know, serve myself and blah, blah, blah, and very like open and loving and just like we want to help each other get better, you know? - And that's jujitsu too. It's supposed to be, that's how jujitsu is anyway, is that that's the idea, you learn this art and then you're trying to bring other people up with you. But I can't say why our school is different than other schools as far as culture, except that kind of like you said in the beginning, like you attract a certain kind of person. - Right. - And then those people are the ones 'cause we're not in all these classes, you know, that's making it grow, but it is the people that we've been training with, you know, that have the same, I don't know if it is an emotional thing or they just want to help people or they're just good people in general, but we have attracted a ton of people like that and I've said that to Robert, like, how did we get so lucky to have, like all of these great people, like really good people? - Really good. - Because it's so many really bad people in the world and that we have, you know, every now and then there's, you know, there's gonna be one or two where you're like, well, like care for that. But for, I just feel like we got lucky somehow. - I'm serious, I don't think it's luck, man. I really think, I mean, I think back to us, here were some things that as a person who was really struggling with my own anxiety at the time that we signed him up, because we signed him up because he got fucking suspended from school for drugs, you know what I mean? So I'm like going through it over here, like, okay, my kid just got in real big trouble. Let's go see if this helps. And we showed up and I don't want to talk to anyone because I'm anti-social, you know? Like, I was like, I'm uncomfortable. But you guys made that whole process so easy. Like, we had to like beg you to talk to us about, you know, paying you that first time, you know what I mean? Like, there's no question for you. - Let me read you a better job at that. - Well, every business owner goes through that. But, you know, there wasn't like the feeling was, hey, come love martial arts, you know? Like it wasn't like, how can we turn and burn for our business? And listen, I'm a person who says on my podcast every day, we are deserving of being paid to pursue our passions. Because if you are in alignment with your passion and your purpose, hell yeah, you deserve to get rewarded for that, you're putting so much good into the world. Yeah, so like, I'm not a person who says, don't get wealthy off your passions at all. But when you're a consumer and you're in a really bad place and you're just looking for any help possible, it was so good to walk in and not feel like we're just a number to you. And I mean, I think it does help this year as a school psychologist by trade. And that you seem to understand exactly what we needed the second we started. And thank God you talk Jake into Jiu Jitsu 'cause he would have given up on kickboxing, you know, really fast, but he has loved Jiu Jitsu. And I do believe it's really good for him. But I think that the difference is you guys are like, hey, come do this thing because it's really good for you, not because we want you to or anybody else wants you to, like discover the magic in this. You're really just trying to share this art with people. Yes, you're trying to make money and there's nothing wrong with that. But I think you're leading with love even if you're not recognizing it, you know? Yeah, I mean, I feel that. And the more that we discover the benefits for people, you know, as far as like therapy for all these different things because it's for so many different things that people just don't understand. So when someone walks in, like I've even started playing this game with myself, which is ridiculous, I know, but I'm like just trying to figure out why are they here? What is the real reason that they're here? A lot of times it'll be the parents are bringing a kid in because they're being bullied and they're at their wit's end and they don't know what else to do. Or it's because their kid is getting in trouble at school, getting in fights or something or they're getting anything, any reason, but a lot of them, they don't know. And those are the fun ones, whenever I can try to figure out what are they really doing here? And I'm watching them work through it. You, as you be like, hey, maybe this, you know? Yeah, but it's fun and it's so rewarding to be able to watch people work through all of that stuff, whatever it is, whether it's just their weight loss and getting or dealing with things from their past or things that are happening right then, you know? Yeah, and just like you said earlier, our daily trauma, I mean, getting to walk into a place that feels like your second home and work out with people that you know, have your back and are gonna, you know, listen, if that's what you need or just roll really hard with you, if that's what you need, you know, whatever it is that you're needing, I think you get it there. No matter who you are, even if you didn't know what it was that you were needing when you walked in. Absolutely. Well, I mean, I have Sharon walking around like, okay, let's make the girl taken care of. No, but listen, I am definitely not perfect in that way either. I forget things all the time, especially when they're said to me mid-roll. (laughing) I forget all of them. But I don't know. I feel like whenever, and we have our brown belt, her name is Haul Bowie, and she always says, when she teaches, when you get on these mats, you leave everything else outside of your life, everything, anything else that is going on. Drop it now, leave it at the edge of the mat. You can pick it up on the way out. Like, when you're on these mats, this is your sanctuary. This is your, you know, therapy. This is your whatever you need it to be. But this is your time to just meditate, be focused on what we're doing, laugh with your partner, whatever, but leave anything else going on in your life off the mat. And I think that is what is a large part of what people feel and why it's so addictive to keep going back to this place, where you can just be yourself and you don't have to worry about anything else. You don't have to worry about your bills or whatever trauma or-- - Well, that's the time too. Like you said, people who bring their kids in because they're being bullied, like my instinct is to think that after a while, the bullying's not really as much of a problem, but not because they can now whoop somebody's ass, but more because they're standing in a different power, you know, they know that they could if they needed to. But the confidence that is born from jujitsu specifically, like kind of fast even, because if you really work at it, you can develop your skills really quickly. Most people I feel like, I mean, maybe you can't go, you know, do some roll in the cage shit, but I mean, you can do a lot, you know, like-- - Right, right. - If you're on with other people, your skill level, I feel like, I mean, I haven't watched a whole lot of people start the program, but, I mean, shit, I look a little William, his little ass. My God, he's killing everybody. I'm like, are you a UFC next, William? What are you doing? Can I watch you when you're famous? - Yes, exactly. That kid definitely was part of your gym too, my God. - Yeah, he is so good. - Well, what are you guys like hoping for the next like steps for conquest? - Robert? - I don't, just constant improvement. At some point, we would love to open up a bigger spot, build our own spot, open it up, have showers, have nice locker room, have separated mass spaces for different classes. My vision, ultimately, would be to combine bouldering, which is a form of rock climbing. - Yeah. - Weight room and our jiu-jitsu or-- - At one facility? - Yeah, that would be my ultimate vision. - That would be so cool. Wow. - Yeah, you'd be fun. Are y'all still using the old building as weight stuff? - We use it as like an athletic performance center. So there's some weights and some, there's a cold bath there and some different stuff. - Oh, cool. Well, I mean, it sounds like you're on your way to doing the things that you wanna do. This new space is really big. I mean, I feel like it is for jiu-jitsu especially. I mean, I've only been in there a few times, but it feels big to me, especially compared to the last place. - I think we're just growing to the, we just grow. We've just grown and grown. And so like, there's just this constant, and if we had this space, we could do this, just always wanting to do more and more and more and more. So it's not that our space isn't big enough right now 'cause it was perfectly suitable for what we're doing, but there are times when we're like, "Man, if we just had another mat, we could offer this time at the same time or something like that." So yeah, we're always gonna be wishing we had something bigger and better and-- - No matter what you have. Well, things are gonna continue to grow. That's the thing. Like, you have shown that you have retention. At least it feels like you've got a really good core base of people that have been there for a while. I mean, am I wrong? I could be wrong. - No, we definitely do. We have, what is our longest running kid right now? Would that be Silas? When did he start? How many years? - Sure it is. - Like, yeah, I think we've had kids, we've had kids that we feel like we've had like since we opened up. So that would have been the end of '19. So four years, something like that, we've had people that we've had the whole time at the gym. And but-- - Question, Kim Bowles are our oldest sign up and then Easton would be second after that. - Oh wow, so was Shane your first then? - He signed up the same week that I purchased the gym. - Did you know him before? - No, it was just irony. - Wow, what a crazy path to have led to him because you guys have done a lot with him. - Well, he's done a lot for us. - Yeah. - Shane has had a vision, you know, to go to the world levels from the very beginning when he very first started. And for us, like all we had known up to that point was, you know, just local stuff. And that was the big deal if you went and competed at local stuff. So he kind of took our vision. And we've-- - Magnify. - Yeah, just-- - Yeah. - He's, because since he's gone like, for example, this year, he's going to Worlds again. And this year, there's several more now. So it's like growing. Every year we have more and more people thinking, I think I could go in at the world level too. And so-- - Yeah. - That's a big deal, you know, and that's how it works is just one person starts it and then-- - Yeah, no, I totally agree because even, whenever I was like, I don't know about that. You know, for Jake, I mean, the fact that he can see people who are doing it and feel inspired and want to, you know, compete at that level, I'm like, hey, whatever, drive and determination you can get for yourself, I'm with you. Because I'm a parent who says, if you want to make martial arts a career, it's a goal, let's do it. What do you need? Like, let's, because even sweet Lauren one time was like, well, I mean, you know, he could be a coach, he could be blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, baby, you don't have to defend him to me. Like, I know, I'm not that mom. I'm not telling him he's good for that. You know what I mean? Like, actually you have at your gym is somebody willing to tell another child's mother, she's not a child, but still, you know, a child's mother. I mean, they're there fucking supporting him as stuff, you know, that Levi was the first person there when Jake broke his shoulder. I mean, they're, they love the shit out of these people. And you're not going to get that anywhere else. But I mean, there is all this opportunity is the thing. I mean, you have sees a piece of shit, but at least they opened up a door to say, hey, if you want to make a career out of this, there are so many ways to do that. I mean, the second he said it, I was like, oh, yeah, dude, I just want you to have a goal. Any goal is fine. Like, you mean any goal is good. But that's why I don't, I think that martial arts, but you just do specifically are so underrated and underestimated if it's not a world that you've ever been a part of, because people think it's one thing and it becomes this whole other thing. But it's like you said, you didn't want to be touched. You didn't want to be, you know, sweaty on top of other people, whatever, you do it and then you become addicted. I mean, I can only imagine because when I just did like kickboxing for four months, I was like totally into the physical contact of it because you do get to work out of a lot of aggression and I'm pretty aggressive. So that was really good for me. But that's what other reason, I'm like, no, I also don't like to lose. So I just don't think that'll be real good for me. 'Cause I'll be showing out and acting up, you know, no good sportsmanship for me, thank you. (laughing) If my kid loses, that's one thing. Like, maybe you got to be a good sport. Me, I'm gonna show my ass real quick. Even if it's just getting pissed and walking off, that's enough for me. - That happens, it's okay. (laughing) - I'm not even losing, not even Uno, okay, friends. I'm not trying to lose nothing. (laughing) I'm the winner. But, you know, you can stay a winner in your own mind as long as you're not actually competing, so I'm good with it. (laughing) I watch those girls on UFC and I'm like, mm-hmm. I'm a badass bitch like that, I bet. You know, whenever you find out. (laughing) See him? (laughing) I'm better than him. Jake's always like, mm. (laughing) Okay, well, that's cute. You're so sweet, mommy. (laughing) Well, okay, so can I ask a stupid question? Do you guys, is it, you spend a lot of fucking time together. So, is that, is that hard for y'all? Do y'all art? I mean, neither of you seem like, well, neither of you seem like me who's just like a constant shit-bitcher about something. So, that's good, but, I mean, you're a little scrappy, but no, I wonder like how much conflict some of that happens or does Robert just acquiesce and be like, okay, what else? Whatever you want, honey. So, for about how many years were you in the old field? So, Robert and I's first bit of marriage, 10 years of it, he was gone a lot. Like, as in, I think one year it was like 300 and how many days out of the year, 300 and what? - 30. - 30 days out of the year, he was gone. So, there was a whole lot of not being together and having to go visit on the weekends if we wanted to see him and all that. So, I think having all those years where we just wanted to see each other, then now, like, yes, there are times where it's pretty funny when we'll go out to dinner and we're like, okay, what do we have to talk about? Like, we see each other all day, every day, but you'd be surprised, like, yeah, you'd be surprised. We always find things to talk about, but no, we don't fight a lot just because I don't know why. Why don't we fight? I don't know why we don't fight every now and then, once a year we'll have an epic explanation. - Because you're a million, that's why and I don't like a fight with you. Hey, when we fight, should just say some stuff to hurt your feelings and then you're like, all right, I don't want to fight with you. I just hurt my feelings. I thought we were fighting, but you're like, actually digging at me. That's not fair. - Why are you-- - I can't take stuff like that. What's the matter with you? - Yeah, okay, Robert, what is your, what is your exact sign? I have to know that. - Gemini. - Fuck, are you serious? You give Jim and I, I'm a Jim and I, okay. So, I know all about us crazy asses and you do not come off as a Jim and I at all. You're very stoic whenever, I mean, you seem shy, but-- - I had a funny nickname in Othel too. They called me the Vulcan man. - Why? - You know the Vulcan is? - I've heard it, I don't know. It's like a, is that a creature? - Yeah, in Star Trek, I think it was, Spock was a Vulcan and-- - Okay. - Vulcan people are not allowed to show any emotion at all. - Mm-hmm. - And that was the deal when I was in the field, they'd always be like, "Bro, do you even smile?" Like, you never show any emotion at all. And I was like, I don't know, it's just normal for me to just go on with whatever's going on. - Well, we are classically known as very emotionally unavailable. We're, we're, we're the people who are like, just rub some dirt on it, baby, that's-- - Yeah, totally, that's exactly right. - It works so fucking hard to connect emotionally, even with ourselves. I mean, that's been the big surprise because all trauma dumped with the rest of them and think that, you know, we're connecting emotionally. No, I'm just sharing shit that doesn't bother me to share and they're just sharing shit that doesn't bother them to share. We're not actually like talking about real shit in real time, so, okay, that part does actually make sense, but I will correct you. The times that you show emotion, people have to know you well enough to see it. But when you're sitting in the little fucking coaching chair, we know when you're happy with something that has been done and when you're not happy with-- (laughing) - You're very sarcastic like me too. You're very like, mm, good, yep, glad you did that dumbass. You know, like, I mean, you don't have to say the actual words for me personally to be like, "Ooh, Robert, say happy, Robert, say happy." (laughing) Robert doesn't like that, and so then like, we'd be like, "Hey, uh, what Robert say to you?" (laughing) And then one time Jake was like, "Hey, Robert actually really likes me now." And I was like, "I'm sure he does, why do you say that?" He said, "He was so happy that I blah, blah, blah." I don't remember what it was, and I was like, "Oh yeah, yeah, anytime we can get Robert to smile, that's a big deal." (laughing) - That's the letter, it didn't be like that with me. I'm sorry. (laughing) - No, I mean, listen, he has me as a mom, so, you know, he understands the full spectrum of emotional unavailability, 'cause he can relate with a psycho as a mother who just popped like today when I said, "Oh, you could not do..." So yesterday his ass comes home, tells me he had the most perfect first day of school ever. Beautiful, couldn't be happier. And then just asked, and I was like, "Okay, well, hopefully you didn't need to do anything." Oh, well, he did, he had lots of shit to do. So this morning, I was bitchy 'cause I didn't have caffeine, and he's all, "Oh, do you know where running shoes are?" But bitch, you don't even fucking have running shoes. (laughing) What the fuck? If you needed, which three days ago, I said, "Hey, son, remember how you do all that conditioning "before wrestling season starts? "You're gonna need to be running, right? "You should get you some shoes." Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, all the reasons we didn't need to do that. And I was like, "Okay, okay." And then this morning, I was like, "Oh, yeah, you need some fucking running shoes." - Okay. (laughing) - And he can't handle it 'cause he's actually pretty sweet. He's always looking at me like, "He didn't have to fucking "lose your shit over that. "My God, 'cause he doesn't get it." But anyway, us, Jim and I, we're so fucking sweet. People just don't get it, they don't get it. They don't know that you've got to get to know us, and then we'll let you in a little bit. (laughing) But now I'm not gonna lie. Now I'm gonna be harassing you to get your birth information so that I can see the rest of your chart because you should be a lot more like, yes, stoic, but you're not like, and maybe this is just, you've lost some crazy with age, but you don't, I would expect you to have acted like Jake in your childhood to just been like-- - Oh, definitely not. - I don't see as fuck. - I was totally opposite Jake. - Yeah, see, that's, you must-- - I was like the rule follower, if they had made a soldier who had like all the athleticism and only the yes, sir, and no brain, that wasn't me. I was like, do everything as hard as you tell me to do it because that was the way I was raised. They're like, if an adult tells you to do something, if you're coaching, or somebody's coaching you, if somebody's doing this and somebody's telling you to do it, you do it, and you do it as hard as you can do it at 110%, you just say yes, sir. And that's the way I was sort of like, that's the way that I was brought up. So when I was a teenager, clearing probably through my 20s, I was still that guy, like if they told me to do something, I did it, and I did it as hard as I could do it every single time. - And Tilly met me. - How did you help him? (laughing) - I don't know that I helped him, but-- - I think I just sort of grew out of that a little bit. I realized that you could-- - You know that's very people pleasing behavior, so what-- - Yeah, totally. - What shifted your mindset on that? - Working in the patch for so long. - That oil filled. - I was an oil filled contractor, which I hustled my own work, which meant if I was working, it was because I did a good job, and I made contacts, and I picked up work, and I did all this stuff. I, I, I, and I had never had any help ever. Well, the goal was to create like a web of contacts and people and stuff like that. And when you start making friends, you start looking for work together, and you rely on each other, well, I had been burned so many times from that. I eventually quit doing any of it. People would call me and be a man, I don't know anything about anything, but, and it's not even necessarily true, but you, you just-- - Yeah, I didn't take care of it, oh, yeah. - You just get over it. And that's when it changed for me. One of them specifically, I got this guy, a really, really good job through my contacts. And I hit, it was solely for me that, that they even connected at all. And about a month after, or about six weeks after I got them connected, I messaged that same guy, or I called that same guy that I just helped. He was in a great spot. They even gave him a promotion, a big promotion. I was like, well, hey, that's awesome, man. It was just so happens that I'm in the need of some work now too. What do you guys got going on? Do you know anybody I can talk to down there? And he just literally culled shoulders me and told me nothing, and that he couldn't help me. So I felt very used and, you know, I was like, cool, man, well, I think I'm done helping people. And that was the straw that broke the camel's back on that whole bill. - Yeah, well, and the hardest part for me when things like that would happen before I kind of got in touch with my emotions and started to understand. And I've known about my trauma for a really long time, but I didn't necessarily know some of the wounds that were created and tracking triggers back to those and whatever. So when people betrayed me like that, I couldn't even identify how badly that actually hurt. And I just became more fucking angry, you know, 'cause I mean, I wasn't angry, but I didn't, I was blocking any type of feeling at all time without realizing it. But I've done a lot of really stupid subconscious shit to try not to feel, which I think it's fine because it protected me as long as it needed to. But I think having experiences like that probably really did inform the way you view yourself as a coach and a member of this gym, because you are passionate about it and you are trying to bring other people into the passion, in the pursuit of passion. Do you think that those experiences helped you at all in this area? - I do, I think it did. He's sitting here giving me a funny face. I do, I think that it has because he's able to separate sometimes the business part of it, because our job is hard when somebody leaves us. So when somebody leaves, he has this mentality of, he can step back and go, Sharon, we're providing a service, this is a business too, because we get so invested in people and their personal journey and everything, just everything about them being at the gym, whether it's their, you know, what's going on with them personally or their progress on the map, we get really invested. So I think because of what he's gone through, he can step back and say, hey, hey girl, we're running a business, this is just a business, you have to keep that in mind, which is hard for me, like I get my heart broken, like I get very invested. And then he's going, hey, it's not personal, you cannot take it personal. So that part of it I have seen, he may have something else, but. - I mean, I don't know. To me, it seems like no, it doesn't help. It would seem like it to me, but I mean, what type of person do you want? Someone who's emotionally unavailable to connect with people, or someone who is completely, emotionally available, all the time to connect with everyone. - Well, I don't know that either of those is, I mean, I think the middle of that road would probably be the best, yeah, like being able to. - I think I'm probably a little bit more on the ladder than the other. - Are you, you feel like you're super emotional available with everybody now? - Less available. - Okay, less, yeah. Well, yes, I do think being burned if those are not experiences that you've really processed other than to say, fuck off, then yeah, that can hurt you. But I've seen you with those dudes at the gym. I mean, y'all are bonding in some way, or you know, like y'all like each other and shit. I mean, I'm not saying you're not really doing things. - Well, yeah, but I mean, you know, this is the thing that I've learned and that I discuss on here all the time. Emotional availability does not mean being available to everyone at all times. It actually means being the most available to yourself to know when you have the capacity to be available to other people. And when you don't, and sometimes it's hard to say, "Hey, I love you, but I can't do that with you right now." I think it's as important to learn to discern who it's okay to be vulnerable with and who it's not. And if it takes you a long time to feel safe with somebody, I mean, I think that's okay too. I think the more you become vulnerable with people, the well, at first it's even more scary. I'll say that from my experience. I'm still having a very hard time telling people how I feel, but I can at least admit it to myself now very easily. Whereas before it was like, God, I'm such an angry ass person, you know? But I'm not an angry person. I was a person who was very reactive to others because I have an extensive history of trauma, you know? So there's the distinction there. And I mean, even how I feel in this conversation, I feel open and safe with you guys in a way that two years ago, I would have been masking to talk to you, you know? I mean, I think it took being like, Sharon, please help me with my fucking kid, you know? I mean, it dropped some walls a little bit. But you know, I mean, I could see that you have, I think that there is some emotional availability there, Robert. I don't know how much. I know you're not really saying like, feelings out loud to people, but I think you're exchanging some emotions, whether or not that's your intent, but... - I give as much as I think mentally that I can give. - Yeah, yeah. And I think that that's really an important piece is knowing what do you have to give? Because my kids don't like to hear this, specifically my oldest, because he happens to need me more these days than I'm like, I don't have the capacity for that shit, bro. But you don't wanna hear me say that. But it's like, well, I mean, here's what I've learned. I tried really hard for years to be what I felt like they needed, the exact thing at all times, just like, you know, 'cause I had the same childhood. If I say jump, you say how high. And I was, those words were said explicitly, weekly. You know, like, and if another adult says jump, you say how high. And actually, you start jumping first, and then make sure you're jumping high enough. And so I was trying to be opposite of that, but you know, not real great at it. But I would be like, okay, well, for the kids, I'll go, or for the kids, I'll do this, or whatever. Well, I literally don't have the capacity for most of those things, because I get really overstimulated, really fast. I'm usually tired or hungry or both. And, you know, that's not a good combination for me. And I get a bitchy and I can't handle it. And then everyone around me's just agitating the shit out of me. So it's not where I'm like, well, I understand that you want me to go to that thing. And I, in theory, would love to be the type of mother that can handle going to that thing with you. But the truth is, I'm your mom, and I can't handle it. So if I go, I'm gonna ruin it for everybody. We all gonna wish you hadn't talked to me and know it, and I promise you that. So I'm gonna go ahead and make an executive decision for myself and for all of you, and say it's probably best that I don't do that thing, because I can't handle it, and I'm gonna fuck you up if I go. And you know what, I usually do fuck them up. If I go to something, I didn't have the capacity to do. Everybody's sad at the end of the thing, and then I have to feel bad about it. And I'm like, oh, great, well, I fucking told you, I couldn't do it. And then here we are. You just had to have me go. So, I mean, yeah, you gotta know what you have to give. And I used to say this to people in hospice all the time, poor little caregivers taking care of their loved ones. Like, you can't pour from a cup that's dry, and you're gonna die of dehydration, and then what's gonna happen to them? - Right. - You give every ounce of yourself away those people that you feel like it's your destiny to take care of. Well, they're not gonna be taken care of, 'cause you're gonna be dead from dehydration, bro. - Finding that balance is hard. - It is hard, because especially like, if you were raised to believe that your whole life is meant to be spent in servitude of others, and that to deny any need of your own, you feel guilty to have boundaries, you know? And people can say, oh, don't feel that all day long, but, you know, that doesn't stop the shit from entering your brain or your heart. So, how do you then start to balance all of your own feelings of inadequacy when other people are needing you in a way that you can't provide, you know? - Yeah, for sure, for sure. I think at Conquest, that's what is good about the community, though, because like I said before, like we cannot be there for every single person in that way. And so having other people in there with them, providing that same thing, providing that community, that's where it's at. I think that's not how we find balance, but I cannot be that for everybody. And I know that, but just because there's somebody else that can be, and watching the friendships formulate, and like Robert and I have talked about that a lot, like watching friendships formulate there, and people, you know, hook up and get married or whatever they need. - Yeah, I have a face. - Like, I mean, that's such a cool thing to watch, you know? Because, you know, I feel you on that so deep, because whenever people walk in, I'm so busy at the gym that I'm going, you know, I'm trying to find a uniform for this person who's visiting, or whatever I'm doing. - Yeah. - I'm not. Or I'm just tired from my own crap from the day. - Yeah. - And I don't have that big smile on my face maybe, because I'm just drained, or this past year, you know, we had a death in our family, and so us dealing with our own personal stuff and feelings and emotions, like we were definitely not available, you know, for anybody for a while, like 'cause we were just grieving and going through our own stuff, so knowing that there were other people there that could sort of pick up the slack where we were, you know, maybe being there, so that was, that was eye opening this year for us. - Well, and what you don't know, possibly, is the girlfriends or spouses of the people who go to your gym are also just as invested. We had the sweetest experience. I had to take Jake to the doctor on Monday, and little did I know Dawson's girlfriend has worked as pediatrician forever. - Oh, nice. - Yeah, and I was just doing the thing, signing in, I was kind of stressed, and Jake is over my shoulder, and he's like, "Hi, how are you doing?" And I was like, "The fuck is he doing?" Because that's what I really like him, and so I was like, "Don't look 'cause, you know, "he's being social, this is the thing he's trying." So I was like, "Okay, all right, "we're doing this at the doctor's pool." I mean, I just had no idea why he's engaging this person the way he was, so I'm like, "Okay, we're social today." And then she's like, "I'm good, how are you?" Dawson was just talking about it, and I was like, "Oh, that's right, "he did say that she works here." And she's fucking precious, and was just going on, and he's like, "Oh, yeah, you know, "I'm about to have my hardware removed, "and then I'm gonna be going hard, blah, blah, blah." And she was just really engaging him, and she's like, "Well, Dawson really misses you. "The smile on this child's face." And he talked about it the whole way home. Yeah, she said, "Dawson, this is me." I mean, those are connections that are real. - No. Like, if he is talking about his experience in such a positive way that she is lit up to talk about his experiences in a way that communicated the Jake that he is seeing, you know? Like, that's the shit you're doing that you don't even realize. And this is not the first encounter that we've had out in the wild like that, where someone knows someone who knows Jake. They've just seen each other and passing, you know, from conquest. And like, maybe they're picking up there, whoever, and somehow he got introduced or whatever. This is probably like the third time that someone's been like, "Oh yeah, you go to conquest." And he's like, "Yeah, who do you know there, you know?" And even, you know, he tries to get me to talk to the girlfriend of someone over at a oaky flower, which I only live because he was like, "Mom, you gotta try this place because so-and-so at the gym says blah, blah, blah, you know, we're loyal." And I was like, "Okay." So, I mean, no, I'm very loyal to them because they're my favorite, but- (laughing) - That's Evan's wife. - Yes, Evan, that's right. 'Cause I asked, I was like, I was like, for some reason I was thinking it was Dawson's girlfriend that worked at Oaky and he was like, "No, no, no, Evan." And I was like, "Oh, okay." Well, I keep trying to, I actually think I have had conversations with her, but I'm so fucking socially awkward that I finally, one day, was like, "Hi, girls." I started a podcast a while ago, actually, but I'm just now working the nerve to give me these cards. So, you could throw them away when I leave, but if you could just take them right now. (laughing) So, it's sweet to me. I love everybody at that store. I swear to God. But he's always like, "You need to ask blah, blah, blah. "If that's Evan's wife." And I'm like, "Honey, you know, when you turn 18, "you just go figure out which one Evan's wife is." 'Cause I can't, I can't do it. I can't talk to people like that. It's too, like, unless we're having this kind of conversation, this is where I'm gonna bring every conversation to. It's like, well, let's talk about your childhood trauma or like, (laughing) I don't do small talk well. So, you know, the whole like, what'd you do this weekend? Bitch, I don't, I don't remember. I don't know. I probably didn't do anything productive. That's what you're gonna get from me when you try to have a normal small talk conversation. (laughing) You know, the people at Oak, you're sweet. But no, seriously, you guys, I, I'm just, I'm thrilled. Obviously, I love how much of a benefit it's been for my kid. But even, you know, I don't, I don't feel uncomfortable, which is a big deal, you know, going to tournaments or, you know, even coming up to the gym when he's done, like, you know, he's getting a promotion or whatever. I feel safe there and that's a really big deal because I mean, I'm a person who kind of like, you know, goes to the world just trying to protect myself at all times. So, going to a place where, and I don't feel, 'cause this is the thing. You guys think that this, that you didn't have anything to do with this, but you're not people who are just like making fun all the time, you know? And there's a difference between a little bit of light teasing and then beyond that. And I'm ultra sensitive to teasing. So are my kids because I am. So that could be a thing for people. You're not, you're not ever going out of your way to make anybody feel stupid or, you know what I mean? Like there's been times when Jake pissed people off at the gym. We've discussed that. And it was handled in a really good way, you know? Like it wasn't, it's, it's everybody there is not leading with their ego. So you're the reason that that's happening because people wouldn't be attracted to you and your product if that wasn't the vibe you were putting out. But it absolutely is. I mean, I'm, I feel comfortable to come in anytime to talk to either one of you about anything. So, I mean, shit, I'm not saying I'm the barometer of what's good and whatever, but I am saying if I am a little feel that comfortable to talk to you, that's a big deal. - That actually makes me feel really good. 'Cause that is, like when we started, when we bought conquest, not, I'm not gonna go back in the history of conquest, but our goal was to turn it into something where the environment mattered. Like the environment to me is one of the biggest things that I try to monitor at our gym because it is huge. It needs to be a safe space for everybody that walks through the door. That's what we want it to be. So, we have worked really hard to promote that in the things that we say to each other, and it does catch on. Like if we, the way that we talk to the students is the way that the other coaches are gonna talk to the students, the way that we talk to each other is what we find is the way that everybody starts interacting with each other. So, I mean, I don't know that it's all us because like I said, there were already people that walked in kind of as we bought it and we've all grown together and we've all kind of made conquest what it is together. I don't, I guess that's why it doesn't feel like Robert and I did it because yes, we own it, but there's so many people that have been with us every single day since we bought it that come in, that put in just as much work as we do when they're there. Luke has coached with us for, my gosh, since we started, he started coaching with us. And so that was, I just feel like it's not just us. There's so many other personalities in there that have like grown, we've all grown together, we've all learned together, we've done some stupid things in there and we've done some great things in there, all together. - Right, right. - That's every business for sure, but, you know, this is the thing, Luke has a very different personality than either one of you, at least what I'm in person, you know? But I think he's a perfect example, actually, and I do not mean this negative, but Luke is a person who could have come in and really led with his ego because I'm kind of an energy person, kind of like you sharing. So, you know, the energy I get off him is he's got a past and a pretty heavy one, you know? So that I could see him entering to a space where there is room for bravado, because anytime you get a bunch of men in a room that it can go there, you know? But feeling like, oh, these people are guiding me to not lead with my ego, it's an instant shift, because that's not something that people with trauma know about themselves unless they've done some work. So they don't know that they're autopilot that's just there to protect them, makes them act like a dick, think like a dick, you know? And then you get around people who are like, or we could do this. And they're like, you know what, that works too. And I remember one of the first weeks of Jake trying Jiu Jitsu there, I was laughing so hard at Luke because he was like, okay, now listen, I don't remember who he's talking to, but he's like, this is Jake's first time rolling. So don't do such and such. I don't remember what it was, but he was like, I don't want to see you guillotine or whatever, you know? And I was like, okay, thank you for that. 'Cause I really try to like, you know, watch through my fingers during the real scary times, especially I don't know how I'm ever going to watch him again after his shoulder. - Oh gosh. - I mean, that I wasn't looking when it happened, because I don't ever want to see that. But like, I kind of saw him get thrown, but it was like, oh, okay. And I was like, what is going on? This is disgusting. I don't know, it's all very scary to me. - They love how protective in that way everybody is. Like, I mean, I'm picturing so many people that I could say the same thing that I'm saying about Luke. Just they, including Jake. I mean, God knows he's had to learn how to work through his ego shit, you know? I mean, I remember being like, Sharon, here's the thing. Jake tends to trigger the egos of men. And I don't know why. - He's a broad metal ass kid talking. He does 30 seconds before he rolls with you. - Probably, probably. Yeah, he is real good at that. And I was like, I try to stay out of all this shit, because I don't understand any of it, you know? And I think that he's been able to grow in a way that he would have been able to without being around really good people like you guys and Dawson and freaking Dawson's girlfriend over here being sweet at the doctor. You know, I mean, all of that matters. It really does. And I say that I've watched him, like all his life with social issues and not knowing how to talk to people and feeling so anxious around everyone. Actually, he said yesterday that the reason it was the best first day of school ever is that he was the most confident he's ever felt. All of that is because he's gotten all this really good opportunity to practice with you all in this safe space where if he pitches you off, you're just gonna roll a little harder with him, you know? And he likes it. So, you know, it is what it is. And that's why I've always been like, I just don't want to watch it. But, you know, I'll be there to support him. I'll pack you some peanut butter. I don't know how else to help you 'cause I, you know, I can't even do jujitsu. So, what am I gonna say? - The stories like that and the stories about Jake and how he felt confident on the first day, I'm telling you those kinds of stories that we hear are what fuel us. All right, that's what fuels me anyway. I don't know, I'm sure a little bit with Robert too, but that fuels me. When a parent comes in and says, "Hey, this thing happened on the playground." And guess what? They didn't back down. They stood their ground. They were confident in themselves. Those kinds of things, that's why I love what we do at Conquest. So much. - Wow. - Because you can't. You can change your life in a different way. Like my whole goal as a professional was to be a counselor for kids. That's what I wanted to ultimately do. And like life just didn't go that way. I didn't go back. I didn't get my doctorate, you know, and all of that. So, and I found the school psychology to be more depressing. And I just didn't feel like I was really helping anyone. I just, I mean, yes, you can help people with their education and all that. And that is important too. And I still try to do that. Like if I find some situation that I can go help with, then I love going and helping and trying to support a person with their education. Cause it is a big deal. You know, they're at school a lot. - Yes. - But what I have found is so rewarding. It's jujitsu. Like you can, I can watch these kids and I have watched so many, especially it's, I mean, I know it's the boys too. But for me, it's when a girl comes in and she is so shy, so painfully shy and so terrified to do this, that she can't she'll cry through the first month of training. She can't make it through the, you know, first months of training without breaking down in some way. But then a year later, you look at this kid and you're like, who is this kid that can just walk in here so confidently, look me in the eye, have a conversation and their parents will tell you the same thing. Like these, this kid, this changed their life. Like they are a confident person now. And for me, that's like, that's, that's it. That's like my, I don't know if that's my money or my, my pay for it. But that's why I love doing it. - Well, and you're right, this is a different form of therapy that you're getting to provide. And did you tell Robert that Jake said that time I told you about this, that you were the only reason he ever tried jujitsu because you begged him. - Me or her? - Her. Like it was like he came to try a kickboxing class. - She kept begging. She's like, I swear you'll love it, please. And he's got a little bit of people pleaser in him. So he was like, okay, fine. He didn't tell me that until like over a year later. He, 'cause he just happened to say like, man, I'm so glad Sharon talked me into jujitsu. And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, oh, she was like, please, please. Just try one class, please. You'll love it. That's the thing is that what I have found to be the most valuable skill for a teenage boy, even outside of all the nervous system work, it's done for him and confidence. And this goes along with confidence. But if you have a teenage boy who wants to fight, and I don't mean just wants to be a professional fighter, is constantly waiting for someone to do something that would then give him some sort of justification to fight them, what I feel like conquest has given Jake in that way is the ability to walk the fuck away. Because he can look at a situation and be like, that's stupid. And just turn away from it. Now he'll be like, I mean, I know bitch. So like if they're swinging, we're going. But like, just again, so grateful for you guys and every single person in the gym because all the love and support that we got from people after his injury, I mean, that was important to him because, you know, he needed people and he was isolated 'cause he was hurt. You know, we're just grateful. I'm also grateful for your time today. I've kept you a little longer than I anticipated. So I'm sorry about that. Do you have any, you know? - All right, we'll see you tomorrow. Oh, tonight, actually. We have women's class tonight, you know? All women's class. - That's so cute. - We'll see you there. - Okay. - Family membership. - No, I will brighten and move back home and he's been talking about it. I was like, okay, well, if you decide and we do a family membership, then we can all go and maybe I'll go. But he's the one you gotta work on, not me, my oldest. So, you know, I'll make him drive Jake the next time. - There you go. I was fixing to say you have to just bring him in. I'll talk him into it. - I bet you could 'cause we'll see, honey. You just pray about it, okay? - Okay, okay. We'll see what, if your attack gets me. - Or you know what they say? Shit in one hand, we should get it right in there. You go away, pray, shit, whatever. It's all, you know, probably gonna work on the same. Okay, I'm hanging out 'cause I will keep talking. I'm such a talker. Okay, all right, thank you so much. - Bye, guys. - All right, bye. ♪ Emotionally on a visible ♪ - Hey, hey, hey, what do you say? Listen. First and foremost, please make sure that you have provided this podcast with a five-star rating on whichever platform that you are listening. If you want to support the show, please rate, like, and share. Also, like, comment, and share on any social media posts that you see for me on Instagram or Facebook or TikTok. Please follow the podcast Facebook, emotionally unavailable podcast. You can shop my foot online, store, or schedule a one-on-one with me, emotionallyunavailablepodcast.org. I'm offering what I'm calling Non-traditional Counseling the astrology readings and tarot readings and self-polishing services. And thank you so much for listening to the Emotionally Unavailable Podcast. (upbeat music) ♪ Emotionally unavailable ♪ - All right, hope you guys liked this episode with Sharon and Robert. I don't really have anything else to say, so until next time, let's just keep swimming. (upbeat music) *singing* I-N-D-E-P-E-In-Cut.