Welcome back to Tim Butterley show. Was that a cough? Yeah, sorry Hearing it hearing it while I was talking it sounded like a distant. I don't know puppy I thought it was a fucking quack. Yeah, whoa I returned from my absolute shipwreck of a vacation where we were we lost power to a tropical storm and everyone got COVID But we persevered every wall. I'd say 75% of us got COVID. It was a we were marooned basically on an island What it was it like rough COVID or was it the easy version? It was I if I'm being honest kind of you know You've been there before okay, you know, it's like yeah, I could see if it was my first time panicking Being like confused and out of breath not really super pleasant stuff, but yeah, you know It's gonna pass. Yeah, you know, it's gonna pay. It was it was that kind of COVID, but then also like seeing small children get it You're just like they're coughing pretty. Oh, that stinks Father than that too, but and then we made the most of it anyway. I'm so happy to be back with you guys Welcome back to the show guys. Hey, Noah. Noah and I are absolutely pleased this punch to bring you motherfuckers You guys you you this is for you. This is for you seriously Frustrated office workers who are watching your own personality crumble in turn You're looking through a mirror into your own soul Watching it just fade away the person you thought you were Everything the the good the bad you go I misunderstood all of that and now that I'm being put through the psychological portrait of the American office system I'm watching it crumble. I want you to go motherfucking crazy for a Muslim assassin Philly's funniest finalist with this very Sunday at helium comedy club, maybe Let's stand up hit your chair with the back of your knees and send it into a fat secret tower for motherfucking naive Welcome back to the program Glad to be here. Thanks for having me guys. So so happy to have you. I mean, I mean I can have you every week of the best equal I feel equal you're you're reaching the end of your your regular job and yes, and you're and you're seeing like You're seeing your patience for the entire thing crumble. Yes, and I'm Starting not to recognize myself at work. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, very mean very short temper very Just not personable at all at work anymore. I used to be the guy. Yeah, I was like the funny guy at work Well, look at me the office clown. Yes. Oh, man. You used to be real cut up real cut up at work Yep. Wow, and then and then the light goes out of your eyes. Yes, and now everybody thinks something happened I was going on you become one of them. Yep. I do I think this is the most relatable feeling in the entire world I went through it. It honestly feels like you're going down a drain. Yes, but at the same time I Got pretty accustomed to like okay. I do a pretty good job It's it's okay that I'm kind of miserable being here. Mm-hmm. You know, I let's just let's just lock in yeah And you can and you can ride that out and then obviously I got fired after I did that I Got laid off after I had an epiphany and I was just like dude Stop stop taking this stuff. So serious. It's really it feels like it's killing you. Mm-hmm. I think I'm still doing a really good job But I did I did get laid off but it was it was not you know, it was like a mass layoff thing So I don't know I don't know if I would give it as advice. Right. Well, see that's where I was I was living in that space of bro. We just gonna come here. Do I work? The fuck out of here. We don't have to care then I got a promotion I got a promotion and when they give you more money They force you to care because they like I got a care because I got more money and I already added more bills So now I need this more money because I got to pay these more bills you have people that You have to like rely on yes. Yeah, yeah, that was where I think I was my nastiest Yeah, I had I had two underlings they were the help desk tech technicians One was like one was like a black dude that worked in the warehouse, but like he got into the office Just doing like he works like temp shit Yeah, and then he had an eye he had an eye on it and when we had an opening I was like yo, can we hook can we hook my boy mike up right and we brought him in and I kind of showed him everything not also like I had to deal with him being very new and I also had a guy named retard Kevin that I couldn't rely on And my demeanor very much became like You guys have to listen to me. I bit look. I know how to do this Bro, I thought I could never turn into that guy I always told everybody like yo, you know I never like could work in management long cuz I could just never care enough to fuck a yell at somebody But I yelled at people bro. Yeah, and I other people for some shit that I do. I had somebody for being late three times I'm like bro. I told you just call me just let me know you're gonna be late, bro. Yeah, and whatever fine I know what to do but like now I'm making up excuses for you to my boss cuz you're not here like what the fuck is going on I kind of treated I kind of started to treat them like kids where I was like look this could be a pretty easy job for all of us Take it from me, dude For 15 years I've been getting compliments on a job. I've been faking man. I've got it figured out Yeah, who in my way will all be pretty like dude. Here's here's exactly what you need Super focus on and then the rest of it is just the simplest shit ever stop fucking up the one thing We need to do and then we can all kind of pretend to work for the rest of our lives Yes, and when they didn't get that dude, I would get so mad. Well what it is is Some people honestly don't know how to fake giving a fuck. Yeah, I can fake give a fuck I can be at work and pretend like I care about everything that's going on Yeah, some people that work for me can't do that you think I fucking like dressing this Like I hate this it's probably more than you. This is what ever looks like on right like what the fuck I hate it, bro But yeah, so we're it dude. We're in your corner, man If that's you look and then you're gonna get fired on like the next two or three. I know it Yeah, but it's like my only the only thing I can do now I don't want to keep being a dick so I can do now was keep taking a step back And if I keep taking steps back then now I'm hands off. Yeah, now I tried to do a good job You guys weren't into it you weren't into it you put me in charge with a bunch of idiots And I think they did that on purpose I think because so Danny remember I was like yo, I think about to get fired and then I got a promotion Well, I think they promoted me because now they can fire me kind of here. Yeah, they got exam now I you know what here's what here's how I see it I think they saw you and they go I wish these dipshits would take a Cue from night, but they put you in a position above them. Okay, hoping that these guys would see you as like an example It's a naive so cool guys don't you want to be just like Working and how could he is great now? There's three dudes shadow All these guys are trying to want to fuck their water Cool, yeah another promotion now there's gonna be 14 dude Now we can't have that now yeah, I tried to I tried to show these dudes exactly how to be retarded And it was just it was just a very it's not easy, bro It really it really is and I think it's my job is easy as hell like we're literally Looking at numbers seeing that they match with other numbers and if they don't we just got to figure out why I mean that sound that can be tedious That's the day can be tedious. Can you deal with absolute tedium, you know any job where you're not risking throwing out your lower back is true, yes, it's one hundred percent broken down into a procedure just and and I so I think what happened So retard Kevin I think I'm and I'm called I call him retard Kevin I I really genuinely think I he would might have been like a 70 IQ dude. Really. That's like a little wife guy The the bot wife guy no, that was that was cliff my service manager at my first job that guy was kind of Wait 70 is average isn't it? 70s like well, that's retarded. That's like one tins average, right? I think it's like 95 in America Okay, 95 100. I think yeah, and we're saying this obviously it's made up But I think people started saying that when they got mad about having low IQ. Yeah, and so let's go on kind of real I think he was like a 70 like his brain really had like You know the wrestling ring of his mind was kind of small is what I'm okay. You know what I mean Yeah, he had a smooth brain. He had a lot of grooves and dips in his shit. Right and so the the big problem that that caused was anything that happened that was unexpected Made him like really emotional like he got really fucked up any time He had an unexpected outcome and it's like yo, dude. We're servicing a hundred and forty Windows computers like every single day. There's gonna be a new thing where you're going. Why did that happen? Yeah, and every time it happened He would flip out like it like so he was like a spare he would go Arthur hands And he would like make noise and shit like that It got to the point where people stopped reporting problems because they didn't want to come over to their desk and freak out Yeah, like women were just like yo, am I good? Why did they keep this guy on? it's apparently impossible to the the hiring aspect, you know what I mean the human resources part of Low to mid-level it is real wasteland. Mm-hmm. It's a lot of real like supremely Socially dysfunctional people. Oh for sure. So look who are also by the way You're like internet like you're you're unwashed internet addict type dude. Yeah, it's a job that attracts the the artist Like you get you get a lot of awkward motherfuckers doing it shit, bro Yeah, and like the part of the reason that they can do the job is because they hyper they can hyper fixate or something like heck and then they also like they get like this inflated sense of like I'm really smart because I do this stuff and They also still are like hyper fixated on like internet culture stuff like yeah, I never met not one of those guys Who thought that he was a idiot every IT guy you meet is like yeah? I'm just I've always been smart I I did meet other guys like me like other guys that like you're you know, I would describe that way Yeah, I would meet them they would be few and far between yeah, and you did kind of like Link up like yeah, okay cool, dude. It was it was crazy I don't know what I would compare to because like whenever you call the IT guys They act like you're the nuisance and they're like my computer's broke. Yeah, I'm just calling me because my shit's fucked up Yeah, they could excuse me. It's like all right. Well cuz all right relax. So our initial. Yeah, let me let me Our first instinct is like well, what did you do? Yeah, and then and then you know, what's tied to that? That's connected to it on the backside of it is What what are you going to leave out or lie to me about so that it doesn't look like right now? It's like I'm already in like detective shithead mode. Yeah, and and then it's like and there are times where I do leave out Something that I did cuz I'm like We have an adversarial relationship where we're in kind of a supervisor battle Yeah, I need I need to keep my supervisor off my back by Dressing this issue which will include like what what caused it right and you are kind of you're on defense You're holding up a giant like riot shield like I can't let you find out. I didn't let you find Yeah from my work computer, right? Yeah, I know that and so now we're in like kind of a proxy all day Oh, and then those two supervisors can't wait to throw down They're seriously standing in the shadows just like I'm ready Irina licking their teeth like I'm ready to throw down my life Second this gets my level the second is on to me. Yeah, dude. We had a typical like Jeffrey Dahmer type IT guy Company grew he hires the coolest IT guy Motorcycle dude fucking would roll up in the Harley fucking Robosick fucking click it on his way in came in it and That was me by the way except instead of cigarette cinnamon roll, but I worked in city dude Jeffrey Dahmer hired him to have a cool friend sick I that didn't head out that way We fucking hate him and his boss is very much like I thought he was cool first Why can't we go? Why can't we sit together at lunch? What the heck dude like when when the original? IT guy would come and like help you out. You'd be like fuck. Oh, man Later Hey, when's your lunch by the way? Yeah, I used to work at a warehouse when I was at college and I remember the CEO of the company was This old Jewish guy Ron Stern he said he came into one day He was hot. He was trying to figure out who he's gonna hire to be our supervisor and he asked us He was like yo, how do you feel about this guy? Alright, how you about this guy? That's how we did we were kids we didn't give a fuck and then this one guy came in there look Just like Tom Cruise and he was like he's like you like this guy we like you'll hire him He's like what and we're like you'll hire him He was the worst because you look like Tom Cruise. Yeah, I should have I didn't really fully think that out And I think short kind of yeah, what are we doing mission and possibly just came out. You're like this guy Oh, man, I think yeah, you saying that makes me think my boss thought I was cool He was like he was like a middle-aged like Disney adult guy who? He Frequently brought up how many times he seen Nickelback live. He just loves how much they rock. Oh, yeah Yeah, and and I mean he was trying to start cool conversation by telling you. Yeah Yeah, you look like a rock-and-roll kind of guy and I'd be like damn dude. Yeah, they probably put on a hell of a show And so I'm a festival peer they were electric Yeah, I mean to check them out Three doors down cool cool cool Nice man, yeah, let me know when they're coming back to town. Oh Look, I want to see them. They just they were just here fuck. Yeah, all right And I eventually I am like I do have to apologize for not replying to that email earlier I am going to get to and it's on my radar Don't worry about it I don't care about this job. Yeah, right. It's like he'd be like that fuck him He I'll tell you this don't tell him. It's done today. Okay, because and every time He's gonna want it right now. That's like let him wait Let him wait and I'd be like I don't know man He thinks it's really important and he I want to get this done I want to do a good job on this he'd be like what we don't worry about it, dude Yeah, our department would constantly catch it for And I'd be sitting there just like yo, I look like a fucking We stopped trying to be too cool like bro tell me to do my job grab a beer dude Let's fuck this I don't even care about this we would we would have to go to the data center in Virginia together sometimes and spend a week Staying at like a Hilton garden in and then just commuting a block and a half to a tech fortress every day And we'd be just standing here. We drove by at that one time. That was nuts. Yeah Place with a bunch of servers and shit. Yeah. Yeah, it's a what was a data center So it's like it's different configured rented space for like server infrastructure and stuff like that so it's just endless black like Racks right wire lockers of you know, just the shit that you see in like Intel commercials But then there would also be ones where it's like you could rent a cage and it would be like a big like private area Everything see through that like you because the security is fucking insane. Dude. They had a retina scan for me Yeah, they had I think they had a palm Print not even a print they had a palm scan. I really had an issue with giving this stuff over They had a retinist and for me and a palm scan. That's for me to get it They still got all that shit on file somewhere. Yeah, you can be fucking sick to my stomach Yeah, they got all your shit. So and everyone gets breached dude. Everyone gets fucking hacked Well, that's it do like you know Iranian hacking group is going to have my bio data and it makes me so mad. What if they check you out? They're like, oh, it's pretty cool. Yeah, that would be cool. Yeah, okay. Oh, I heard he's coming Seems like a real rock And so we would go down there and it would be like a week at a time and you know, we have the company card They're paying for meals and stuff like that. It would be like yo double surf and turf every single night like running the watching this dude eat seriously Was a marvel. Yeah, he's a big fat guy too with like Atrial fibrillation or whatever those heart would just stop and he'd be he'd be saying can I hat can I add a second fried lobster tail? nice like Yeah, and he'd be telling me, you know order the whole man. Yeah, I'd be like, okay, what are we getting tonight Kevin? What the hell yeah, having a boss and think you're cool is the shit. Yeah, like when I found out that my boss was in the comedy. I was like Yo, you know, I do comedy, right? You like really? Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah, I've ever heard a shame gilless. He was like, yes I love she ain't good. I'm like, I'll open for him in a row. He was like, no, get the fuck out of here Like get the fuck out of here. You're lying. He's I don't believe you. I don't believe As a matter of fact, what's your Instagram? I follow my Instagram Oh, you're the coolest guy ever He'll at night can I can ask you a serious question? I'm like, what the fuck do you work here? I'm in the hole Like what are you talking about? Yeah, he cuts me so much like now. I can kind of do whatever I was sick. That's cool. Yeah, yeah My my the director I had was it was kind of in on it, too He was actually a pretty nice guy. He was pretty good to me I never talked to him after I got group laid off and I was surprised by that. I thought I would have heard from him Mm-hmm. I I when I started there. There was another guy at my level. So another server administrator and he was also Different flavor, but also a cool guy right and he wanted the fuck out He was like a slightly older gentleman very neat clean shaven Not fat and like he knew what he was doing. He didn't really like he didn't really like fuck around In his work, but like dude. It was like I did my stuff It's my I'm gonna go deal with like my broker or something like yeah, right right right three hour launches every day We would leave the office for three hours, maybe not all at once But we would go it we were so bad for each other Yeah, we would take at least three hours to ourselves every day We what it really got bad though toward the end right before he found a new job We were so like decadent with like The absolute just pigs for our for a personal time at work We ended up getting into a habit and I I had to like this is where we broke away from each other We got to have it of going to walla and getting 2,000 calorie frozen coffee drinks Every single day nice Every single day and I always just like yo, dude. This is getting out of control But it's almost a drug problem. It was not it was like seriously It was like if you and your friends started smoking crack and you were just like hold on And I didn't be like yo Ryan you're a cool guy and I love hanging out with you I just can't be doing you got the calorie frozen coffee every day, dude It's killing it's going to kill you and he was like I he I respect that but like dude. I'm in this He walked by your desk with it after you told him you didn't want to go in the morning shake it around Dude what was the last time you had one of these I was like first of all you're not even supposed to be tasting sea salt caramel every And that's also a path you can't travel by yourself like certain things you need a partner You can't go on his journey alone. You're really basing by your And you know, but that's the real world man, you know, that's what it's like out there What are you saying I fist fought someone in front of my boss? Like attitude and gillow show actually yeah out of shame show so Immediately thought I was awesome Coffee every day Mm-hmm only person on the team that got coffee bought for him Also quickest to promotion Wow Once he got promoted I got promoted with him like we were climbing the ladder like together I accept put not without captain bed But then here's your frappuccino When I started to slack off he would get angry and then all you think I had to do was be stern Yeah, cuz I was he was like a dork from Wisconsin. It's all dorks and it's data analytics Yeah, so imagine me in a data data whether you know, I mean dude Yeah, the slunk shoulders of data analytics got like the way that their bodies seem like they're just falling apart And the energy drink consumption. Yeah, like the complexions are so grim At least I'm sorry at least on the DBAs that I know, you know, hmm, but yeah fucking You get scared dude, I started to get like real bad at work because I was just completely checked out I was burning out from COVID our business like took off and like I end up working like constantly So I was just like whatever dude like for months. Yeah jaded the jaded office demon man But you can't escape it you you're in office for too long eventually something just It just becomes a part of you bro. You can't get away from it. You know, you just can't there's nothing You can do I literally have worked the longest I worked at One place for is seven and a half years and the last two years of that was the worst Mm-hmm that like I can do five years at a place. I can do that once you start talking about a six seven Well, that's when I start going crazy. You know, you're stupid. I'm objectively stupid I'm not saying you're stupid, but you're stupid if you aren't changing jobs every like two and a whatever I think there's like a number there's a passage of time where it's like acceptable to You're supposed to take the minimum amount of time at each job and move on to the next place and negotiate our money Yes, and I never did that because I It made me feel so weird. Yeah Yeah, I don't like negotiating for myself I think I valued the comfort of like knowing the place knowing what I could get away with knowing the people Yeah, it's a benefits. You know like you said you already bought some caches you you can come in late Sometimes you can take some data. I was late every day. I I'm everywhere. I worked I I could be 45 minutes late every single day and it wasn't a problem. Yes saying I just and I was and I'm I'm saying I'm not saying I was a bad employee obviously. I was winning awards like there and they exist people have them I gave them away. Yeah, you dig them. Oh, I won the crystal clover. Okay, two years in a row Motherfucker had that shit around his neck like a chain. Only one. Yeah. Oh, yeah, my trainer Yeah, my trainer and white trainer into a necklace. Hey, but you but you don't get away with that type of shit If you're a bad worker, you can't be boo. You can't be late in a bad worker. You could be a good worker who's late or you could be God, that's one time who kind of isn't the best worker. You see I'm saying. Yeah, here's the thing Yeah, if you work in an office and you're not constantly part of conversations about one person who sucks You're the person you're the person that sucks. Yeah, you're it. You're a bottom. Yep So, you know, I'd say and I'd say shape up. Yeah, you better or Change jobs act like you were cool the whole time. Get a new personality. Yeah, get a new job get a brand new personality Try it out. Yeah, that doesn't work and it might work. Give it two years. Give it two and a half years Yeah, you just don't want to be that guy You just don't want to be here's the thing I tell everybody you don't got to get an office job either. I was just talking to Rob real That's what Rob I said. Yeah, I'm about to quit this job and try to get like a construction job with some shit But you deliver ship right don't have that. Yeah, I just don't want to think anymore I just want to do some shit. We're like, all right. This is my task put this here put that there for fucking eight hours That I can go home. Yeah. No, you think you think you're doing something by thinking at work And it's just like no, man. You're just wasting your brain You should be doing a thoughtless job. Yes, where you're just in the playground in your brain all day. Yes Yes, because then you could think of jokes and you could just you're using your brain for some other shit You can watch while your body is just going like so many videos. Yeah You know, that's what I'll be doing I would just be consuming content all day and just so blissful man I'd be I would be watching I'd be consuming long-form YouTube videos about video games that I spent all night playing What and I would just be Yeah, the most comfortable ever my back would never hurt. Yeah. Yeah, when I was a when I was in college, I would be pretty Oh great, but I think great for a while that she's gonna start to give me a headache behind my eye and I stopped You're a creative guy, but I was for a while any reason just see what's up. Oh Well, all right, so what had him so I had got I had a prescription for Perka sets And then I was selling them, but I was still keeping like 10 for myself As old as time. Yep, so I was taking the perks and then I was like, you know, I I can't keep taking these perks I can't it's just not I can't do it. I gotta find like a natural solution for this What about what about why he's that work organic part? Yeah, what about white homies over there? You ever heard a cradle? I'm like fuck though. He's like, bro same thing is perks He's like you can get as much as you want is legal. I was like, oh hell yeah That started doing like was it Kratum 40 X or some shit like that bro shit was strong as hell Yeah, I I asked every time I asked people I should try it they go Have you enjoyed Perka set and I go not I had never really done. Yeah, even medicinally Doctors won't prescribe to me and they go all right. Well, you're not gonna get it. Yeah, you're not gonna get You never did perch you won't get what why I created them is cool Yeah, but the difference is do you know what's crazy? I was I everyone I hear about it says like yeah, I did it every day my tolerance or nuts I was doing like a kilo and a half every yeah, that's what yeah, you do need more like your brother's going into your lungs You need more you're sniffing it that are you wait do you sniff it or no? I was like taking it in pill form. Yeah, you can also drink it like it's like a powder you can put it in like your water and drink it Well, yeah, I was thinking the pills. Shout out to the creative heads, but it's good for a short time Good for you for a short time is good for you breath for like the first two or three weeks It's beautiful that if they start getting these fucking blind and headaches So I think you're not taking enough at that point You know damn it might be that because that's what happens. That's why everyone That's why it might be a painkiller middle-aged ladies all think they have fibromyalgia They end up taking a like a you know a perk too long Yeah, and then they're They just start experiencing pain. Yeah. Well purpose as it does do the same thing So what perks like when you take a perk and then let's say you try to stop and say you're like all right I'm not taking no perks today You start feeling pain in your body. Mm-hmm, and it's just because the perks was numbing everything all that time So then it was like the the chemical the absence of the chemical makes like I think it makes it hurt worse I think I think the chemical mask it for however long it massive for and I think it's one of two things I think one you're probably moving not conscious that your body is damaged in the pain But you're just making your back worse cuz now you're like I don't feel anything my back feels perfect No, you just have a percusset you see I'm saying and then I think once the perk wears off is like This is the damage that you just did also you got to catch them all that pain that you missed Yeah time to lose 60 pounds and get a knee break Right, that's what it is. Yeah, bro. Get through grow off, dude. You're not you don't have chronic pain shut up No, it doesn't exactly right grow to fuck up. You imagine how painful it would be to hear you did like oh I was having a good time on this podcast and now guys denying my existence Wow, that's wrong with you. This is pretty hurtful. If it'll be an honest. Yeah, yeah, bro We totally believe you mm-hmm. I believe you Wow, thanks for you know, thanks for a pretty comprehensive comprehensive deep dive on the the modern You know, yeah, office worker. Well works about to be over. That's what this about to be We're like the last maybe 10 to 15 years of that type of work I think I think that type of work is about to be because bro a eyes out that shit I've been you think you're gonna be an accountant. There will be zero accountants in like five years It's crazy. We even have now. We don't need them now You don't need it. They're just still figuring out the pricing on the replacement like the app. Yeah, yeah, you know Yeah, bro, and five years. I'm gonna have to work at Walmart Agree means nothing. I mean, I mean that but I you know, I'm kind of beating a dead horse There's not gonna be employees at Walmart in ten years. That's true, too You know, they've already they've already shown that they'll lock up every item in the store now Let's individualize those you walk up. You scan your They either have like your your vane Print and you and you scan that they have some biometric on you. Yeah, and then the little door opens and they They deduct the price from yep, you're fucking yeah money that's embedded in your fucking hand now. Yeah, you go home You fucking Just be really nasty online guys stop wasting time in the kitchen. You have better things to do than chopped veggies factors No prep. 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Okay. There's only what you think I'm gonna go down you think I'm gonna find Kyle in Oxford circle and bother him at his mom mom's house to see if I can bet $1,500 on the outcome Maybe but the dude seriously never stops fucking talking his disability cases coming in He's he promises dude. Once the settlement hits dude wait till you see the boatie buys. I don't give a fuck I just want to make my bet so Gets walking around money with my bookie. There's no need to download an app Just sign up online and you're ready to bet it's safe secure and you get paid super quickly when you win Use promo code butterly to lock in a welcome bonus that'll spot you all the way up to a thousand bucks You heard that right. That's promo code butterly to claim a bonus on your first deposit So you can bet on anything with house money bet on anything anywhere anytime only with my bookie. Yeah, bro You can get one of those brain chips No, man. No, I I'm going to wait a little while and when I'm really disillusioned I'm gonna start the movement where we kill anyone who gets one Come on, bro. I wanted to be one of the first people with one. Why do you want one so brother? It'll be an honor to meet you on the battlefield You won't be able to kill me not smart I would be yeah, so you coming from two years away. Yeah, I know Yeah, my people on my side are gonna be like dirty wearing gray He sure it's like smudge faces. You guys are gonna be pretty healthy looking But I hopefully we have either numbers or you know retaining our humanity longer gives us some Like love the power humankind Yeah, dude, yeah, do we yeah, I don't know That don't sound like a good side of the war to be on, bro No, we're talking about to be on the brain shit Oh, you can just you can just find like a database and shut everybody off. That's the thing Yeah, we we band together with the third-world country hacker terrorists Where you guys we yeah, we tell them that we're gonna hit the gay button if you guys We're gonna turn all you guys gay That's how I'm telling bitch. He's gonna get what he's like. Really. I'm like, I don't know I said cuz Eli musk is racist. I said he's gonna push my butt and I'm only gonna be able to make monkey noise It would be like what the fuck the fuck happened tonight. He's gonna chimp you out, man. Yeah, bro. You don't want that Yeah, that's kind of scary. Also. He's a dork every idea He has is like the lamest version of it like true, dude. No, not on my brain stem Yeah, but yeah, so all those people right Okay, so all those people quick quick recap If you either didn't listen to the last like 10 episodes of the show or if you're just hearing this shit for the first time The the normal link stuff is going to be connected to the network Yes, yeah, I saw the guy knows on rules bro talking about it That's kind of crazy. You're going to be connected to the network and eventually You know, they're going to be able to sort of map out a group consciousness Where they'll observe it long enough that they'll start to understand how to like dude They're studying elephant languages where they just they have a spot in like Zimbabwe or something where they just monitor elephants and they've managed to map like 36 individual noises to specific behaviors and they said they're saying that there's like hundreds of them Yeah, and this was like decades ago and so all they have to do is watch them long enough and they'll be able to Sort of communicate back, right? They're going to read our brains long enough that they're going to understand exactly how to Turn us into a giant sea anemone. Yeah And and I it me being on the outside of that guess what every every one of those guys that I interact with They're sending my data in and God forbid. I'm talking to 200 people at a time. Let's say they all have brain chips That's 200 points of data on one guy. Oh you and then that's for all that's for everyone who doesn't get the chip So it's like I'm on the network. No matter what yeah Because you guys aren't happy enough with just like the beauty of the best existence like all living creatures What living creature has it better and we're just like now, dude. We need to be more perfect. Yeah, fuck that But if it has good games though, I might consider it All right, come on. Yeah, we're gonna have good. Yeah, it did honestly I'll take that all back if I get doom eternal in my brain Oh hell and I actually you know and it's actually like you your feet With then we can talk Other than that though, I'm gonna kill everyone who gets it. Look if that's you easy. I feel yeah That might be the first thing that you would it. Oh, this is what's gonna shut him up. There you go. Leave me alone I've named my price Just one game not even all the game Alright, we got to now Time to work on Danny, and I want to thank you on must for reaching out. That was like we did a 15-hour Twitter space About the sick game idea I had for normal link, and I think I think it's getting pushed. We're getting pushed through. We're getting it done You guys asked for it. I'm deliver it. You're in the fucking commercial With a neural link now It's actually pretty cool everybody Remember what I was saying before? They got games now there's games out the ass. Well, there's just one game, but it's um let's play That is gonna be nuts when everybody when people are talking to you. Yo, what's up YouTube? I'm just like my eyes roll back Yeah, I can't move my real body. I'm in projected in video behind me Yo today, we're gonna be playing Minecraft ultra premium brain neural link, and let's go Yeah, it's gonna be like the matrix when you get you get shot and doing what your body goes That would be kind of sick though to do that and like you're in like you're playing like warzone You get sent to the gulag you in the gulag real life. Oh my god, dude your heart is pound. Yes You're but maybe not even in real life. Maybe you're just experiencing sensation of an adrenaline. Well for sure. Yeah, it's all completely safe Yeah, yeah, yeah, sign me up for the Bible. Okay. Okay, bro. Yes. We everybody got to get the brain chip If that's possible everybody has it because they want tough. We're not gonna have real life We won't have jobs, but think about how much heart we're gonna have a real life. I'm going to war in our brains. It's not a video game Yeah, dude Tough as hell. You're not even gonna be able to walk around outside Outside's gonna be DLC outside of your house. It's gonna be IRL DLC. You're gonna have to pay a subscription monthly You're just gonna be just a hair cheaper and they're gonna raise the price eventually and you're gonna like well I'm already on the fucking chip. Yeah, I'm already on a chip. Fuck it damn, bro Do you think you'd die if they turn off the trip? If you don't pay do you think yeah, I mean I guess they could they could put you in the big price just like rain real quick and Hey, but you sleep. Oh, they can probably make you schizophrenic They're gonna send pay there. They're gonna send voices in your head. Those are the debt collectors. Oh, man And they'll probably honestly threaten death if you like do any racist, um, you know thoughts No, you're gonna even get it's racist though. That's gonna be like red light tickets if you have racist thoughts They're gonna send you a screenshot and a ticket in the mail. Yeah, you thought of that, bro You're like, oh, I was thinking about someone else thinking it Like you and your wife are arguing. Did you just think about smacking? Yeah, you see a light flash from the back of your eyes like fuck Your brain is nuts Oh No, what's been what am I? You can't search my brain Summer taker yo, that's really gonna be a thing that's gonna be Yeah, unless there's one video game. I'm actually not required to hand over my brain ID Not at all. You know, if you're a brain cop to dude, you know a baby cab Don't let me find out. Yeah, if I've got a your brain a brain cop. I'm gonna beat. I'm gonna kill you in real life These new rules users gonna die That's the worst type of cop to be you're spawn camping them the entire time Yeah, my fucking you took on my shark points dickhead I Mean but you saw how they said like and this I know all it's just gonna come together So you see I say like GTA six is gonna be the first game Where the currency on there is gonna translate the actual money. So like people are gonna be you can withdraw Is that really like a taste that you're gonna be able to withdraw? Okay, because it's so valuable the things in the game are so valuable to the people that play the game They'll be willing to give people money. It's about time. Yeah, so let's say let's say you got 10 million dollars on the game I could be like yo, I'll give you a thousand dollars. Can I get a million dollars from you? Oh? So you'll be all that shit you won't be okay, so it'll be like a market. It'll be like mark the game's not gonna be like a bank No, no, no, no, yeah, it'll be more so like a market. It's like any EA game So you can like buy players and stuff for real money. Mm-hmm. Yeah, but but they're paying you for this stuff You've accumulated everything that you got. I mean, I think these are gonna go full-time as Bro people are going to go for that's what they were saying like GTA six. They said it's Probably the most important game for you. It's gonna be the only job They said it's gonna be so it's something for you to get good at that game fast cuz that's the more money you can make GTA pawn shop owner. Hey, bro. What? Wow. Yeah, what if you're see you? What if you're getting your dick sucked in real life for GTA money? That's gonna happen. Yeah, gta six intervention. I think I think Autists are gonna punk themselves out for it to be I'm not even talking about you're right I think there's gonna be nerds out there like spreading the get their We're only getting more addicted, you know, that this is clearly that we're heading to a very unhealthy level of attachment to in-game worlds And it's like yeah, man How bad do you want those shark points? Do you want that helicopter damn technology the new crack and then I steal it back? I shoot you with a rocket like that got you dork Idiot, and now you're just the fucking nerd who really likes video games who suck the dick for in-game stuff What if that's a gate, I thought it's gonna be an astronaut what if that was the gateway to having AI police Like that that's the realistic like part of the game There's it so there's an AI. There's an actual online AI police force. Yeah, and they're beta testing it in there before gnarling I because GTA could be you know, it's lifelike. I can see that the way people behave on that could be social currency, you know Yeah, I think that would be sick if you could if you started a GTA 6 online faction that really just went to war with cops Try to try to annihilate the central AI core That'd be sick. That's almost a matrix. That's a holy quest. Yeah. Yeah, like that's crazy I think it's gonna be important. We're gonna mean we're gonna need good men for this. Oh, bro Yeah, we like to make yo, we just are building the army immediately soon as the game comes up look at the 180 I've done I was gonna kill everybody And now I'm just like we need to fight We need to band together guys We need to form a lobby right now. Damn, bro. They're gonna make prisons in these places, too They are you have to play through a prison sentence. Yeah Takes you 25 days to 25 years or you just quit you just kill yourself. Yeah, would you? Would you hurt yourself in jail, but then you're gonna lose all your things? Oh, I would make I would make nothing a couple bucks. I would make jail a fun game though So people would stay and commit. Yeah, I would try to be like pod boss Shock-aller. Yeah, or you know, I but then everybody would be in jail Everybody no, but it's equally as fun on the outside of jail. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Like there's so it's like it's okay if you're in there Dude, I would make it fun outside because there's cars and horse I would make it fun to ruin your marriage and find Christ and be a divorced like that would be its own fun mini game Like you have to go to church and stuff like that. Yeah Oh, you have to move into an apartment You're sucking dick to get a day game Wow, what a corn game family corn mini get did it's like ace attorney, or whatever, you know? The yes game you're you're objectioning and shit like that. Yeah, or you secretly tank because you don't really want custody You want to get away from it to be honest your honor. I don't want these kids Yeah, oh dude, and then you get obviously the getting a new girlfriend mini game and the simulated sex scenes Those will be those would be sick. This would be great. You can even probably play as a new girlfriend if that's if you're a girl True you could be a new girlfriend for a divorce guy. You're why you're watching court hearing You're saying you're just sitting in court Bronze every once in a while your online boyfriend turns around and goes Bro, can we just cyber later? You ever start a family on the Sims and then like watch them grow And you got a dog and a cat and you got a nice house, and then you just turn the fucking stove on you just walk I like damn I didn't know so I came from a bad family I didn't know in the Sims you were supposed to like Enjoy the family like I I saw every character in the Sims as a burden, and I didn't want to play the game No, you're supposed to watch the family They are burning they take they take you off with any fun text that you want to do It's like oh I got to do this with the lady one and I got to do this with the kid Yeah, I think I try to feed the dog I I got I sat there cuz I liked I liked Sim City I don't think I was very good at it, but remember when the Sims first came out I was like oh it'll be fun to try and I was just like why would I ever want to think about a family? Which I believe these are just abused children thoughts my bad. That's all right. That's on me Cuz when you're a kid you're playing a Sims you're playing it cuz you want to have fun. Yeah That part isn't fun. No, I don't think it's for that's the part that's not you can't even send a tornado Yeah, right. No city was go to the you'd start disasters out of nowhere. They had aliens alien abductions Yeah, I also became that was probably a part of my early childhood thinking I was too smart thing where I was just like I understand an entire city. Nothing can talk right. Yeah, seriously tell me how cities Yeah, I built plenty of cities every city. I built on the Sims was like futuristic as fuck Yeah, cuz you're probably pro prosperous. They were probably saying good things about you in the newspaper Hmm. I've been trying there's a new one called city skylines. Oh skiddy city skylines is fun Yeah, Excel or something city skylines, bro. It's too hard. I don't understand what to do Yeah, like I like watching play I lay I lay one highway out and then I like make a turn And then I'm out of money and I need a power plant and none of the houses are growing I'm just go man. Did I fucking miss something? Yeah, I just give up I go This is for maybe someone smarter than me. You got it. Yeah, you gotta you gotta figure out how to prioritize building the city better, bro You're telling me man. I thought I knew everything. Maybe cities are just different now. I'd like to better when I was a kid You can just build 10 power plants Yeah, send the aliens. I guess that's all I really want to do. Mm-hmm Send the alien with the most fun part Yeah, just come through wrecking shit, bro Yeah, I mean they finally figured out the mind of a child I have I have a bunch of stuff to show you guys are all nice, but I feel like I never got to Showing them and we're almost out of time There's about 15 minutes. Oh, okay. Cool. Cool. Thank goodness. My god. I hate I hate that feeling of You know Not doing the show, right? Um, so I have I have a bunch of stuff. This is all saved up by over my my weekend on vacation Kind of like let's do a let's do a grab bag here. Um, let's see what just what's grabbing the attention here Woman dies after getting caught in baggage carousel at Chicago. Oh hair what you know, that's um You know, not great stuff. There was a guy. Did you see the guy that died at the CrossFit competition? He drowned, right? Yeah, did you see that? Yeah, this was nuts. Isn't this crazy? I don't know if this is gonna be funny, but This check out this guy. I think he's back here somewhere or top-middle or top-right But he stops swimming Not funny. This is not funny. Look go under look look look look. He's not swimming any I maybe screaming help me or something like that Oh Come on What the heck? Anyway, no one notices no one notices and he just goes under and I think eventually a buy like a What's it called? Spectator a spectator notices and dives in the water. There's a body in the water, which I mean imagine being a CrossFit game spectator That's crazy Right who goes to watch? I mean thank God you did because these people don't know what they're doing. They're running a shit event that It shouldn't it shouldn't exist and you know someone was like, oh, we could have to hire life cards And then someone else was like these are the most fit people on the plan. We yeah, there's no need for life cards Listen to yourself. Okay, first of all, they're gonna want $15 an hour Okay, and they have to be on site from beginning to end. Okay. Yeah, we're already paying for the ambulance to be there All right, by the way, every time I don't know if you've noticed this every time you go to an event that needs a paramedic on site yeah, you know Certain martial arts. Yeah, but I think some Pro wrestling. Yeah, pro wrestling every single music Stuff like festivals concerts every single time. It's the fattest paramedic. Oh every time the entire one. Yes. Yeah Yeah, they get the yeah, and you get the they get the so-called easy job as soon as I see the paramedic walking into like Even going back to being a teenager. I would see the paramedic walking in the war tour and I'd be like damn I better drink a lot of water I'm the fuck if I get hot and sit down. I'm damn the ones at wks A few years ago got in trouble for smoking cigarettes What the hell? Yeah, paramedic. I think is the bottom of the heap the first responder heap for sure Uh, but I thought it was prestigious when I was a kid. Yeah, it was a private company. It seems so cool There are private companies of them, and I don't know orthodox shoes have them orthodox shoes have their own comics and it's like that's not it's like Whoa, it's crazy. Yeah, I mean imagine imagine getting bitch that because a Jew. Hey Jewish guy. Do they still call 911 Do you call them? I want one of your like now. Send me the they have the shoes. They have their own lines and chips. Yeah, they got Yeah, they do their own community stuff, and I respect that I think it's cool that you could just go somewhere and decide that it's a different place that's You know And I just think that's a great Policy to tie to monetization on a public platform. I think that's awesome. What if they showed up in naive was there can they deny? Yes, yes, and now there was a big riot about it in New York the the crown heights riots I'm pretty sure in New York is because I think it was like a Jewish kid and a black kid both got hit They got hit by a car and then a Jewish ambulance came and only picked up the Jewish kid and left the black kid there And then I think the kid ended up dying. Yeah, and there was like a big like huge riots about it. Yeah I think I'd probably rather die than getting a Jewish ambulance You know god forbid it's on a sunday. Well, you're hurt. My head is killing me Do they take you out? Is about to faint He saw the prices at the deli. He's a little overclimmed. Sorry There's blood squirting out of an ampute Please it's a ple- he's spitzing Please sorry, he's spitzing You need to get out That's fucking crazy. Yes, we legally don't they don't even have to take you. That's crazy But yeah, it's always well legally they might have to but I think they just don't When I was uh when I was a kid, I thought paramedics were like race car doctors Yeah, you know anything. Yeah, I thought now there's there's a doctor who went what if it was also Physical a physical challenge. That's what TV TV and movies led you to believe. Yeah, like you get in and they just fucking Yeah, I fix you up right. Yeah, it's kind of blowing my mind that that's not the case right Crossfit doctors. Yeah. Yeah, right. They'll swim to you. They'll get you off a mountain Hell, yeah, you know what I mean, but no what it actually turns out to be is guys who um Failed the police fitness test. Mm-hmm. Um, there's uh, the fire department is not hiring Yeah, and uh, there this was their last idea was going to a six week court It's a six week course. Yeah, you could do it all on. That's insane. Yeah, it's a six week course It's a six year bro. They could do it at home all along. You don't gotta go with like a class. That's insane Isn't that nuts fucking great? I don't have to be like a vet tech. It's like two years. Yeah No, to be a paramedic you just have to seriously and then and then guess what you get on instagram and you start I know dudes like this you get on instagram and you put on the full kit with every possible best and accessory and then you kind of like You pose hard as hell. Yeah, you're starting the back of the video. Yeah, you're wearing like tactical gloves Like bro, you're just seriously putting fat women in wheelchairs. Thank you the striving loves Well, yeah, that goes back in the day on tv you would watch shows and they would show the paramedics And they were like rushing to places to go in a hundred miles an hour. Yeah, they're giving CPR And doing all this crazy shit saving people you like, oh, hell yeah, it's like a genius lifeguard Yeah, you're in your mind. Yeah, you're like, wow, could you be any cooler than that? And then you get you to be a dude I got my mary joe got into an ambulance a couple of years ago because she had heart palpitations while driving and had to pull over John uh, not johnson johnson johnson. I think uh fizer um She had part palpitations driving had to pull over an ambulance came I met them on the highway and I got in the ambulance and it was like a fucking wager dude It was it was seriously a wicker dude with flat bangs who was like Tapping his hands together explaining what like yeah, it was like should be okay could go to the hospital, you know Yeah, yada yada yada, you know up to you like what? Yeah, you feel me like yo I can only do so much right here, but uh, like i'm my one boys got even more equipment Yeah, but like um, yo, if real if you want me, I could She could stay in the whip we could go to the doc the hospital And I was just like I think she's I'll just take her home. Thanks. Yeah You want me to patch this bitch up? Yeah, he honestly seemed like a white dishwasher You said you said yeah, I'll just take her home to he's all right. Cool. They don't walk It bro. He's taking the plastic over a black mama Not sick I had a dip anyway, so You go pick up my daughter He like you should be I Yeah, damn bro Yeah, so that's I mean so that's why your crossfit athletes are gonna keep fucking dying man. Yeah, we need tougher And it's like you are dude. What a fumble though. You already made paramedics seem like the coolest dude Job sickest job ever and then it's like the demand you know the the workforce is there You know I the the fire department is going to be full for a long time. You could get more rigorous You could make it harder to be automatic dudes want to do it. Yes You could make it that you have to be jacked Yeah, you got to be able to pick up a person and carry a body Yeah, let's do it. How was that not in the training kind of? I dude it six weeks I wouldn't even know everyone if I was teaching class. I wouldn't even know everyone's names at the end of I'd be I'd be going remind me your name again. Yeah, okay. Yeah, so you want the blood to stop coming out But i'm saying like how is it like medial tourniquets? Yo in six weeks. How are you not having like at least like three days where you're doing you're like running Yeah, right do do like 20 pushups Yeah, everyone there failed the police entrance exam the physical pension, which is like I think run a mile do 25 pushups. What is it? Hold on yo to black person Can I do that first Um Here we go police academy fitness test agility testing. This is for the philadelphia police department Okay, so uh prospective philadelphia police officers will be required to complete a physical fitness test as part of the hiring Process the physical fitness test confirms that prospective police recruits are performing physically based on their age and gender at the 15th percentile Test includes sit-ups in a minute 300 meter run one minute push-ups and a 1.5 mile run. Uh, so here we go. So, uh, you're separated by category Why are they hiring 60 year old? You know what? I have seen some super old, um, like uh Yeah, like just walking around their age maxing. Yeah, okay. So if you're 20 to 29 Um One minute. You need to be able to do 32 sit-ups Uh Your you need to be able to do a 300 meter run. It was at 69 seconds How long is 300 meters how long does it take to run 100 meters 300 meters? 100 meters is a football field. So 300 yards. No, but a meter is a meter is almost equivalent to a yard. Yes, it is 100 meters if you doing 100 meter dash, uh, and you let's say you running that fast you running like In the nonce you see what i'm saying? But I that's what I think because it's like what's a meter is like three foot three three points something feet Yeah, well, it's a little it's just a little off. Yeah, so it's like kind of equivalent. So let's yeah meter is almost a yard Yeah, let's say 10 seconds 300 meter run a test of anaerobic capacity This is an important area for performing. So we should take you about 30 seconds Such as in a pursuit The score is the time it takes to complete the course Smoke start at the same I would never catch you never bro At the it'd be impossible run as fast as possible to the finish line. I like this dude's not just happy with leading the pack The standard for this event is 59 seconds or less 69 seconds. That's a long answer That's almost that's that's more than double. That's almost okay. I look more than double No, look so see how how to take that to be to be a paramedic to not make it look at the diagram So look it's it's actually the track around a football field Yes, bro. I ran track Half the track the whole track is 400 meters half the track 200 meters and they got to run 300 Bro people here to hear bro people when i was in high school when i was in high school I was running 200 meters in like 20 seconds, bro All right, so those people did it all of those people did it with in 37 seconds Um, so that okay, no big deal Uh in one minute you need to be able to do 19 push-ups. Come on. Come on, bro What are you talking about? And you need to be able to run a mile and a half in 14 Minutes and 34 seconds. Yo, I know people who failed this Yes, a lot of people. I know people who failed it. What the hell I also know a lot of cops who passed this that couldn't pass it now Yeah, they passed it when they first joined the force and then And then what's this for this? Oh, so this is graduation Okay Uh, and so graduation's 30th percentile. So you need to be oh, you need to be doing a little bit more. It looks like a tiny bit more 35 push-ups 62 so Yeah, this is a little bit more 5x but you're already in the academy. This is your graduation fitness test like you yeah Obviously you're gonna get jacked at the academy. They're screaming at you. You're a little fucking bitch for taking it You're a little fucking pussy because a dude is screaming in your face to run faster. Yeah, just doing it You're a fucking loser dude and but right and they said they set the goal so low that of course You're gonna do better by the time you graduate. Yeah. Yeah, you should be able to do this I mean before you get in. Yes. And then a guy a guy yells at you and you go, yes, sir, shut up No, just fuck out of here. I'm just kidding You know, we love the police. Thank you. Everybody go join up. Go sign up Yeah, please Maybe back the blue matter of fact sign up for the army. We'd like to be at war probably That's more. Yeah, I don't know for the army true. Yeah You guys want to you guys want to join up and link up and get in the same battalion. Sure Hell yeah, I think we have a pretty good time. We have fun I think it'll be I think we'd have a pretty high demand battalion if we if we can we do the reserves I guess one week and a month. I just one week at a ball That's one week in a minute. Yeah, it would actually be fun to get together for your boys one week at a mall Yeah, what if we just went camping Oh, then we got yeah, that'd be fun. How long does it take to get a pension from the navy reserves? Navy or army let's go now. Let's do army reserves and then we can go break up riots navies They when there's a riot they call us in from the army reserves and we get to stand there with guns Um, I have more stuff to show you I and real quick The the theme the theme that I'm developing in my mind right now and the reason that we started on the crossfit guy dying Is because it's I'm sorry Let me turn that down a little bit Everything everything that comes across my feet is just like the most horrific stuff ever and it's like at this point I I don't know if I'm desensitized or if I'm actively trying to let this like penetrate my brain But like yeah, dude, but it's just it's nonsense. It's all nonsense. It is all nonsense It's all nonsense. I have so much to do every day. I have so you are desensitized. You're not This is just the way of life. Yeah horrible things happen, but you know what else happens Great thing You know what else happens a lot Great thing. Yeah, so if you're if you're a little squeamish on Laughing at like, you know people murdering their children and stuff. It's like, yeah, dude. It's gonna happen to me eventually. I'm gonna be killed We all wouldn't and that's okay That's fine You know terrible stuff's gonna happen to me and I'll understand that like if it makes it to a wide enough audience And they're wondering why they're even finding out about someone else's tragedy. I hope they go Yeah, don't take it to them seriously, man. Yeah, like don't let it ruin your day We have so much information just bombardness at all times Yeah, you got to learn how to cut your emotions off from some of it Like yo, like can't just be like dude when I get brain cancer and they use a bad picture My friends use a bad picture of me to say like oh, man. This sucks so bad. He was my best friend. You know what I mean? And the picture of me isn't great and someone makes fun of it. It's gonna be like that's the circle of life, man Yeah, that's how it goes. I'm so happy to participate in the food chain. Yes You go you go from being a fucking dork to being kind of cool To okay now to give a fuck about being cool To oh, fuck. I'm sick. Oh, now I'm dead That's the fucking circle of life. That's everything That's how it goes. Wow, dude. Yeah, thank you Yeah, thanks for fucking seeing it my way, buddy I've seen I have an old family. I've seen this circle so many times I remember my cool where my uncle was cool. I also remember when he got sick and I was remember when he died, bro You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I've seen this cycle over and over Yeah, and becoming aware of your place. Oh, and it only helps you. Yeah, right We're in we're in the sweet spot right now right now. We're in the spot. We're like, I don't give a fuck about being cool It's all fun. You see what I'm saying sweet spot and then See what we doing in like 20 years. Yeah, bro. Let's see. We're part of circle You know, like I'm gonna face the warrior's humiliation I'm gonna fit. I'm gonna go head on and to just like well It's not now it wasn't funny that I made fun of people drowning and I'm currently like falling off of a cruise ship This is it man. This is the cosmic joke It's and I'm the punchline right now. See you later and I get exploded by fire crackers Yeah, bro Nice That's how you want to do it. Yeah, I would just go out like a curmudgeon, bro I'm gonna just be that old man. I can't talk anymore. They're just knocking shit over like Sitting on a porch with your legs stretched all the way out in front of you Wow, yeah, just doing a little bad shit. We got to take a little break and head over to the patreon I can't believe that flew by like that. Yeah, that went so fast. Yeah, sorry about that guys Sorry if time just blip by and and you feel a little bit older now. Um Name tell me where to see you You catch me on do regular dare tag podcast and do regular dare tag patreon, please sign up We have fun over there and you'll actually um Go to my instagram name to underscore Ali if you and philly come the philly funniest the finals On sunday and to underscore is a very black name. Yeah, you know somebody already had the other one We just went on to school. Yeah, damn. Yeah, again. Also, by the way, four numbers max in usernames, dude What do we do? Why am I seeing? Yeah? Yeah, seven numbers. That's great numbers. Cut that shit off. Yeah, it looks like spam Don't do that. Get the fuck out of here. Mm-hmm. But yeah, yo, come check me out. Yeah. Thank you for being here, buddy Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be in Pittsburgh on Saturday. That's what I mean. Yeah, I'll be in Pittsburgh Um go on my instagram to see where I can't remember the name of me No, you're so close Sorry Um, no, you have a new project. Oh, everybody. Yeah, um me and dylan he was on the the watch along he was on the both watch along's he was there for travis Yeah, we intern dylan. Yeah, yes people intern dylan me and him have a youtube channel now and a patreon It's called two headed dog. We're gonna do we have an arts and crafts show rob cruisers on the first episode That'll be out probably when this comes out nice Um, we do a podcast on the patreon. There's gonna be bonus stuff. It's gonna be a lot of fun Um evil intern dylan No, he's sweetie. He's funny. He's sweet intern dylan. He should be evil. Well, he's he's the edges comedian in philadelphia boys mean Yeah, that's how I broadcast them as the edges comedian philadelphia. Yeah, um But yeah, it's gonna be fun. We uh, we're gonna do sketches. We wrote a pilot. We might we're gonna try and make it We're doing sketches. We're doing the arts and crafts show. It's called no is paint Nice, and it's very fun big things ahead. So if you can't get enough, no, yeah, oh and um feel something feel something okay piss Not fm seven p.m. Eastern thursday. I think uh This comes out on thursday. We're gonna do a malcolm in the middle music episode all the all the music from malcolm in the middle That'll be fun. Oh nice. Yeah Thank you Guys come see me on the road. Uh, little wilkin tucky two nights. That's august 23rd and 24th Uh, never say die bar. Um, and then the following night august 25th at the funny bone in cloma, so hio uh Tim barterly.com for tickets. I can't wait to see your face. I can't wait to make fun of you and your wife is gonna be the best ever um September i'm coming to portland main boston, massachusetts new britain, can etiquette jane zulls, conson dacomo, washington um Colorado is going to be up on there as soon as i get the link this week Tim barterly.com for tickets and uh you go over to patreon.com/timbarterly for um, more fun now and uh, back catalog of incredibly fun stuff and uh, Also, uh, if you're here on the youtube channel, i'm going to be upload it first of all Check out the twitch twitch.tv/timbarter. This is i mean i'm so generous with my time I just love hanging out with everybody, but i'm doing some pretty cool video game stuff over there um, and then all uh The vods i guess if twitch is too vile and nerdy for you i'll throw that shit on youtube And uh, just keep an eye out right now i'm playing a the alien conspiracy game with a guy who murdered his wife It looks so sick and this friday, um, we're starting metal girl solid where marijos to play through the entire metal gear solid series Oh hell yeah um That's it. Thank you. That is called act. Can i say follow Good boy underscore comedy on instagram. Yes, and uh, be on the lookout big announcement record uh, regarding uh, filly comedy fest coming this week Let's go Very cool Hell yeah, thank you guys. Oh wait the painting the painting. Oh, yeah Where are you on that i kept looking over and it was blue for so long that i was like don't put any pressure on Let him cook. I don't know. I don't know, but this is what we're so we're gonna do this is going to be Uh, neural ink brain guy in the in the matrix Whoa We're gonna i'm we're working on it At first i thought it was the earth if it had a face. It's like maybe it is damn. No, it eats All right, this was tough. See you on the picture. Love you guys
