The Village Church
Mutually Broken, Pt. 2 - Audio
for this morning? You should be because God has done great and awesome things for all of us, so we have a lot to be thankful for. If you have your Bibles, please open them to Matthew chapter 5. Last time I preached, I said that Jesus had an intended purpose when he preached a sermon on the Mount. He had an intended response that he wanted to produce in his disciples, in his crowd, in us as well. Do you remember that response? What I said that response should be? Repentance and faith. See, keep in mind, you know, in this whole sermon, Jesus does lay out for us a kingdom lifestyle. What does a kingdom lifestyle look like in a fallen world? He lays that out for us. But at the same time, through this sermon, he undoes us. He presents all of us as mutually broken people, whose only acceptable response to this sermon is one of repentance and faith, which is opposite of that of the Pharisee, who are self-righteous and blinded from seeing the true need. So Jesus undoes them. He corrects them. He corrects the understanding and misinterpretation and application of God's law. And he does that to us as well. We have seen this already in what Jesus said about the sixth commandment, "Thou shalt not kill." And this morning, he continued this process of undoing us in Matthew 5 verses 27 to 32. So if it was please stand for the reading of God's Word. Matthew 5 beginning in verse 27. You have heard that it was said you should not commit adultery. But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye calls that you descend, tear it out, throw it away. For it's better to lose one of your members than your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand calls that you descend, cut it off, throw it away. For it's better to lose one of your members than your whole body to go into hell. It was also said, "Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce." But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for grounds of sinful immorality, makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. He may be seated. Please pray with and for me. Father God, this Word, these words are your words. They're not my words, Father, but it's your truth. It's not my truth. And I stand before you as an under shepherd. Now, that's the shepherd, not as the demand, but a broken man. But I pray that your spirit will speak through me, that he will preach your word to my own heart and preach it to everyone's heart that is here this morning. As I always say, Father, preaching is nothing without the Spirit. He is the one that makes it powerful. And so, Spirit, make it powerful this morning and apply it to our hearts. Amen. Like I said earlier, that in the sixth commandment, Jesus corrected the misunderstanding, the misinterpretation, and the bad application of it by the people. And here this morning, he does the same thing with the seventh commandment. He gives us true meaning. It's true understanding. What does the seventh commandment states? It states, "You shall not commit adultery." That's the seventh commandment. Do you know what the penalty was in the Old Testament for breaking that commandment? It was death. Yeah, praise God, we still don't do that. It was death. The seventh commandment, it was given to protect the institution of marriage. That's what was given. As one Christian says, marriage is the union between one man and one woman. One man and one woman for a lifetime commitment to the purposes of God. That's marriage. And the inception of marriage occurred where in the garden of even without first parents, Adam and Eve, Genesis 2 says, this is where Adam says, this is at last, born of my bones, flesh or my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother, hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. That's beautiful. That's poetry. The marriage relationship is truly the closest and most intimate of all human relationships in this earth. And the language of two becoming one flesh, that's intimacy, that's closeness, that's togetherness. An adultery breaks man. It betrays man. It destroys family. And there are lasting consequences of it. If you know anyone who's been through a painful divorce, you know it's nothing fun about it. Everyone suffers. And most importantly, it's sin in the eyes of God. But again, Jesus says something is wrong. Something is wrong in how this law has been historically interpreted and understood and applied. That's why he says you have heard it said that you should not commit adultery. What's the issue? The issue is that somehow the intent of this law has just been reduced to external behavior. That somehow just a physical act of adultery is breaking this law. But Jesus says that understanding of it is incorrect. Because think about it. If you reduce the seventh commandment to only applying to the external act of adultery, then you can falsely think you've meant all the requirements of the law if you never have an affair. Well, I've never cheated on my spouse. So I'm good. I could check that seventh commandment off. I fulfilled it. I've been faithful to my spouse. So I'm safe. I'm good. And not only is that, how do you view those who have been calling the fact? If you haven't, the co-worker, the relative, the neighbor, you think you're better than them, right? What husband here didn't think they were better than Tiger Woods when he got calling his mess. What husband went when you saw that? He's like, I might not be a bit big in there, but man, I'm better than him. I'm a better husband than him. I did. I don't know where I guess I'm not as good as you, but I did. We all do it in vice versa. What wife here does I think you're better than chemical dashing right now when you saw that? You think you're better? My marriage lasts a long seven, two hours, seven, two days. So I'm better. You see, the reason I felt better is because I actually lowered God's standing. My actual Lord of standards of his word. That's how I can self-doubt this by myself. You see, men and women, we all have relationship standards. I don't care who you are. You have standards of what you're looking for in a mate, a boyfriend or a girlfriend. And most of the times, those standards are unrealistic and superficial, like they got to be rich, drop a certain car, look a certain way, certain status. But we do have non-negotiable things that we don't compromise on. If you're a Christian, you don't marry non-Christian. That's non-negotiable. If you come to me with that, like it's in the words, I can't help you. You don't marry non-Christian. Now, if we create an image of God, have standards, now how much more God? He has standards. And none of them are unrealistic. None of them are superficial. And the point Jesus is making here is God's standing is much higher than we think. Much higher than we think. His standards does not just call for external obedience but internal obedience as well. Not just not committing adultery externally but also with your heart. That's what Jesus says but I say to you. Now Jesus is not correcting God's law because it's perfect. What he's correcting is the misinterpretation, the misunderstanding, and the misapplication of his law, which we'll all give to you. He says, "Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait before you check that box." I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So pull out the eraser and uncheck and scratch off that check mark. You check, mate. You're undone. You're guilty. I'm guilty. I have sinned. And right here, Jesus shorn us how far off we are from God's standard. Simple external obedience does not meet the requirements of the seventh commandment because many of us here can say I've never cheated on my spouse but no one can say I never lust it. I don't care who you are. You cannot say it. We're all our guilty of that. So who's a cheater? Who's adultery this morning? Who's tiger was this morning? I am. I am. Guilty is charged. The idea that you can look but don't touch, God does not sit that way. Looking guilty. All right, as long as I can just look, now there's nothing wrong with that. In the eyes of God, it is something wrong with that. I mean, think about this. Do you actually believe an affair just happens out of the blue? That just happens. It doesn't happen out of the blue. I mean, an affair is not a boogeyman that sneaks up on you in the dark. I got you. Well, baby, you know, I'm just as surprised about this affair than you are. I mean, it just snuck up on me. I mean, I mean, I'm a victim here too. No, an affair does not just snick up on you. You lay that trap for yourself and start it here in your heart. People who have an affair, you lay your own trap that led you there. You got to know that. He said, what does it look like? Your heart, the little flirts that you think don't mean. Emotionally close to someone that's not your spouse. Those long conversations with someone that you're not married to. She understands me. He understands me. He listens to me when my husband does it. It's a trap that unchecked out life. The wandering eyes and having no relational boundaries for other people. Those are traps. Those are traps we lay for ourselves. So how many traps have you left for yourself this week? How many traps have you laid for yourself this week? Oh, you call in one now. Many of you know, I worked at Chick-fil-A while I was in college and even after college. And while I was in college, I was getting close to one of my co-workers. You know, we were a joke around and we were talking to each other at work. And as we passed each other, we floated with each other. That's what we were doing. And I ain't seen anything wrong with it. I thought it was just having fun. And I was telling, you know, a guy that stiped me about this and he gave me a razor wisdom. He said, Alex, be careful. Be careful. Because if you continue down this path, you eventually find yourself in love with this girl. And I thought about that because I knew she wasn't a believer. You know, we were friends. But I realized that there's nothing there's something wrong with flirting. It is not harmless. It's harmless. I was laying trap from myself and didn't even see it. And so what did I do? I thought sitting boundary in my relationship with her to protect my heart and her heart. He said, you can't flirt with sin, especially sexual sin. And so is this Jesus beating us up? Do you feel like Jesus beating you up here? No, he is simply showing you why you can't use the law like the Pharisees use the law. That's what he's showing you. Why, we can't use it that way. Because we are simple here. We're all mutually broken here, incapable of earning our way to heaven. Your brokenness is being revealed to show you your need not to beat you up, like the leper who came to Jesus. What did the leper say to Jesus? Make me clean. And he will. And the satarian, the fact that the satarian came to Jesus, Jesus, can you hear my servant? You didn't even got to come to my house to speak the word and it would be done. Faith. It takes faith to believe that. That he could just speak it and it would be done. Repentance and faith. Believers who embrace their own brokenness loves repentance. Why? Because you know that's the goodness. And you live by faith in a Savior who is constantly at work in your life through his spirit. And when you embrace your weaknesses and when you embrace the gospel, it produces things in you. And as we saw a couple of weeks ago, the spirit of reconciliation, you will practice that. If you truly live about a gospel, the gospel is truly producing in you things in you, you will love to reconcile with those you have broke fellowship with. That's a fruit of gospel. That's a fruit of grace. The spirit of reconciliation in your broken relationship with other broken people. And the second thing, broken people don't trust themselves. What do you mean by that, Alex? Verse 29, "If your right eye calls you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it's better than to lose one of your members than your whole body to the throne and to hell. If your right hand calls you to sin, cut it off, throw it away. For it's better than to lose one of your members than your whole body to go into hell." Now, Jesus asks you to go get an axe and chop all your hands and feed off. Is that what he really asks you to do? No. What he is saying is that broken believers know enough about themselves, not to trust themselves. That's what he's saying. If you know yourself as broken, then you know I can't trust myself, particularly if I struggle with sexual sin. It means you have set up boundaries in your life to protect your marriage and to protect yourself, like dealing with the lust in your heart. It's unawyred to say it doesn't matter. See, for some of us cutting off our right hand and our foot could mean you might not need to have cable in it in your house. That's what it means. Every male here, even some females need to have filters on your computer and if you don't, you're very unwise. Very unwise. It means you have to have a relationship, relational boundaries with other people. Wives, if you find yourself being emotionally close to a man who is not your husband, watch out at the trap. While he listens to me out, he understands me out. I don't care. He's not your husband. Go to your husband and work it out. There was a trap you were laying for yourself. The gospel sets us free from being enslaved to sin. It does, but it does not set us free from struggling. That's a difference. It sets us free from being enslaved to sin that does not set us free from struggling. Just look at your life. Are you still struggling with sin? Huh? Okay, you have your answer. You don't have to live in it, but you will struggle with it. And guess what? You have freedom to do so because Christ went to the cross. And when the Spirit convicts you, repent and move on. You see, in Christ through His Spirit, you can fight against the sin that you struggle with. This is what Jesus is talking about here, cutting off your hand, so you can fight against it. And think about it. Before you became a Christian, did you fight against sin? I think you loved it. And all this, and all this, very is fun. But when you come to know Christ, you not have a desire to hate your sin, whether it's unrighteousness or self-righteousness, but you also have a desire to fight against as well. That's a fruit of the gospel. You've got to see that. The desire to hate sin and fight against it is to fruit the gospel in your life. Because if four cards came, you loved it, and you were never convicted by it. But now you are. The reality that I learned, when it comes to the love set for sin, is that you were either going to like trouts for yourself or you're going to perfectly set up boundaries in your life because of your love. You can't trust yourself ever. All of us need to have accountability relationships. I do. I have other pastors that I meet with. You know what they know me. They ask me tough questions. I ask them tough questions. Because I got to have other brothers who are going to ask me those tough questions. Because I don't trust them. And you need to have that type of closeness in your life. Know yourself. Know your deep struggles. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine sent me one of my accountability partners sent me a text message. He said his filter on his computer was not working. And he was being tempted. And he said he just wanted someone to know about it. I texted him back and I said thanks for letting me know. I'll be checking in on you throughout the day. He responded, thanks dude. I hate feeling weak like this. But thanks for being there. And I replied to him. I said embrace the weakness man. Embrace the weakness man. That is a strength. Word of advice. Never trust yourself. Never trust yourself. That's not weak. That's a strength to reach out to other people. Believers who embrace their brokenness grow and not trusting themselves when it comes to us, adultery. That happens. And finally, I'm going to talk about broken believers also fight. Particularly for their man. Look at verses 31 and 32. It was also said whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to everyone who divorces his wife, except on the grounds of sexually morality, makes her commit adultery. Whoever matters a divorced woman, commits adultery. Like with the seventh commandment, there was some misunderstanding and bad application about Moses teaching on divorce. See, the law of Moses on divorce, which is found in Deuteronomy, was given to control divorce, which was common during that time. As one Christian put it, the intent of the law was to not to give men freedom to divorce the wives for any reason. It was meant to uphold marriage, to uphold marriage, and to protect women for being divorced for no reason at all. Because that did happen back in those days. I don't like the way she looked. I'm out. So the intent was to protect marriage. The intent was to protect the women in these marriage relationships and the Pharisees didn't get that. And Jesus' brain is there out to them in Matthew 19. He told the Pharisees, the reason Moses allowed you to divorce was because of your hardness of heart. That's why. But from the beginning, it was not so. God's intent for marriage was for the long haul, not the hundred-yard dash, the marathon, the marathon. And yet we know the cost of sin, every marriage is broken, and many marriages within the church don't make it. They don't make it for the long haul. You see, marriage is beautiful. It's awesome, but it's not easy. Who here thinks marriage is easy? Is it easy? It's not easy why because the growth of spouse is a broken. Embrace the fact that your spouse is broken, and it will help you kill your unrealistic expectations of your spouse. Embrace it. Embrace the fact that your husband is going to let you down wise, and that will kill your unrealistic expectations of him. And the same for you husband. Marriage is not something that should be entered into lightly. When you marry, you're putting into a covenant with your spouse and in the eyes of God, no wedding vows that you take means something. They mean something. That they're not just empty words. When you say, I take you to be my lawful, wedded husband or wife, to have and to hold for this day forward, for better offer words for richer or poor and sickness than in health, to love and to cherish, to death, do us part. Means something. They mean something. It's covenant. You committing all that you are to this other person. You are also committing to fight for the other person. To do whatever it takes to have a healthy God-honoring marriage. When you say those vows, that's what you're committing up to. If you ain't willing to do it, they don't get married. Let me ask you, what is the state of your marriage today? I'll tell you, it's as healthy and as beautiful as you want it to be. Point blank. If you want a healthy marriage, then you fight for it. Whatever it takes, whoever many councils I got to see, I'm going to fight for it. The same fight and passion you have for your job, you need to have even more of that for your marriage because good marriage is going to happen by accident. It's like you fall into a ditch. You're going to fall into a good marriage. Notice if you don't work for a good marriage, you ain't going to have one. I don't care how much gospel I preach to you. The gospel makes you fight for your marriage. If you're not fighting, what does that mean? It means you don't understand the gospel. It's what it means. If you have a good marriage, you fall for it. If you don't, it would dry up like a flower. Now, there are two Biblical grounds for divorce. Jesus talks about one here, adultery. The second one is a willful desertion and outside your relationship with Christ, your marriage is the most important. Again, there's two grounds for divorce, adultery, willful desertion. What does that mean? Willful desertion is basically means one spot that's abandoned to family. That's what it means. Abandoned to family. If those two things aren't happening, then you're meant to tough it out. You're meant to tough it out. Do you treat your marriage as if it's the most important human relationship that you have on this earth? Even more important in the relationship you have with your kids and grandkids. It is. Let me ask you this, wives, when you plan your wedding, did you give a half effort? When you plan your wedding, did you, did you say, I don't care what happened? Now, matching colors, they can have whatever color you want. I don't care. I just want to get married. Did you put forth a half lazy effort for the wedding? No, I don't know any product does that. The same fight and passion you had to plan the wedding, it takes much more of that for the marriage. And for all of us, we give more for the wedding than we do for the marriage. And that's why some marriage is in. That's why some men don't stop fighting for it. The biblical model for marriage is not compromised. It's not you give 50 percent, you give 50 percent? No, that's not the biblical model of marriage. It's sacrificed. You give 100 percent, you give 100 percent. Sacrifice. And what does that mean? You've given up completely for your spouse, sacrificing for her. You think about if both spouses are willing to sacrifice for the other spouse, you're going to work through all the issues that you're going to face. You will. You sacrifice for each other, only the banner of the cross. If you are committed this morning, if the spirit has convicted you or where you are this morning, be the leper. Go to Jesus and say, "Jesus, on my horrible spouse, make me clean." Help me love my spouse brother. Help me love my husband brother. Make me clean. And trust that he has the power to do that. He can make your marriage clean. He will give you the ability to fight for it through the power of the Holy Spirit. Listen to what Tim Keller says about marriage in his new book, "The Meaning of Marriage." He says, "I'm tired of listening to sentimental talk about marriage at weddings and in church and in sunny school. Much of what I've heard on this subject has as much depth as a hallmark card. While marriage is many things, it is anything but sentimental. Marriage is glorious but hard. It's a burning joy and a strength, and yet it's also blood, sweat, and tears. Hummeling the feets and exhausting victories. No marriage I know more than a few weeks old could be described as a fairytale come true. Therefore, it's not surprising that the only phrase in Paul's famous discourse on marriage is found in Ephesians 5 that many couples can relate to. In verse 32, it says, "It is a profound mystery. Sometimes you fall in the bed after a long hard day of trying to understand each other and all you can say is a profound mystery. Profound. At times your marriage seems to be an unsolvable puzzle, amazing in which you feel lost. I believe all this and yet no relationship between human beings is greater and more important than marriage. And yet that is why like knowing God Himself, coming to love and know your spouse is difficult and painful, yet rewarding and wonderful." I read that again. "And like knowing God Himself, coming to know and to love your spouse is difficult and painful, yet rewarding and wonderful." It's both famous. Father God, thank you for who you are and what you are. That there are no perfect marriages. We all struggle with sin, we struggle with love, we struggle. You're giving us freedom to do so. That's why there's repentance and forgiveness. And so I pray for my marriage and all of my marriages and those who want to be married, those who are engaged to be married, that you have blessed these marriages, that you will empower through the power of your Holy Spirit, spouses to fight for one another, to keep short accounts for one another, to know that their spouse is broken and he ain't going to fix it. So I pray that we'll give up trying to fix one another and accept one another for as broken as we are and know that Lord on this side of heaven, we're going to struggle. We ain't ever going to be what we're going to be here to help us. It could be mine for that. Now pray, Father, as we go out and again our weeks this week to prepare for thanksgiving, to help us to be mindful of what all you've done for us. We might not have what we want to have, but we're not what we used to be. We're not what we're used to be either. We are internally grateful for Christ, for his sacrifice, for your blessings in our life. So help us not to lose sight for the fact that our God is stood upon his throne, that not even our circumstances can separate us from your love and your compassion. It cracks me in my prayer. Amen.