The Manic Candice Podcast
Rehab
Hello hello hello everybody welcome back to the mannequinist podcast and today we're gonna talk about the time I went to rehab. So before we hop on to this mannequinist podcast episode good night good morning good evening and good afternoon wherever you're listening hop on to the description below of the mannequinist podcast episode and see the links and visit the patreon follow us on Instagram on MDM&Q and the mannequinist podcast and visit my website to find our print. Coloree books are coming up tomorrow and if you aren't interested in sponsoring this podcast go ahead and email me at info@mdmanq.com in the description below so let's get into it. When I went to rehab I was in a very dark time in my life as people go to rehab do or I find themselves in you guys I was like at such a little point in my life my mom found me on the toilet Elvis style I was popping about five out of all the day and maybe the same amount of Xanax pharmaceutical grade and I just had no control. When you go to rehab that's when you have no control that's when you officially admit to yourself you're like I don't have any control I can't do it today I had lunch with my mom and it was beautiful and like I look back at me my mom's relationship if I didn't go to rehab we wouldn't have a relationship if I didn't admit if there was something if I didn't break down and go get help because there's something so special about that place because you get to relax that's the one thing that I didn't realize about rehab is that I got to relax I learned one big lesson in rehab and that's in respect but before I get into that let me tell you about my day I woke up paid some bills found out some good news and then went to my trainer shout out to Jay and then I met up with my mom and we went to the parlor and we had pizza and I had a strawberry nagroni it was so strong never in my life will I have another nagroni and that's the beauty of alcoholism they separate you and rehab they separate the drug addicts from alcoholics so I remember the day I texted my mom that I needed to go to rehab that I needed help I was 17 and I remember texting her and I remember laying on my couch eating chicken fried rice I remember stuffing myself with chicken fried rice I remember being on the couch blocked out I remember texting her and I think I was like miss spelling words and she was like just go get help today and I was like if I'm gonna get help then I'm gonna get help today and sure enough they got me a bed in Aurora detox in Glendale prior to that like I was so bad on drugs I cut off all my hair I know I know I don't know what I was thinking I was I want you guys to emphasize I want you guys to know that I'm emphasizing I was at such a deep time in my life before I went to rehab I remember sitting in the detox intake lobby and just crying and just crying and crying and crying because I knew that my life was gonna change forever and for better or worse I just knew it was gonna change I knew that my selfish ways of thinking we're gonna end and it was scary it was it was really scary there was no one there to hold my hand I had to be on my own and it was frightening getting help and going to rehab is scary over that I'm afraid give me a second I was so low you guys I didn't care if I lived I didn't care if I died I just didn't care I just wanted to be numb if you're at that point in your addiction you need to get help before it's too late you need to go get help if you're drinking lean if you're popping pills if you're shooting up if you're sharding you need to go get help if you're at a point where you're selling your drugs you need to go get help all of you know who you are if you're anyone like me you're using and you're selling and I'm gonna tell you what my mom tells me nothing good comes from drugs absolutely nothing my life without Xanax my life without Adderall is so much clearer I'm so much more level-headed I'm so much more goal-oriented I have so much more positive I'm not a zombie I'm not a crack head so the rehab I went to is called Calvary it's on seven three let me Google exactly where Calvary is because I highly recommend this it's an impatient drug rehab center 24-hour admissions five stars if they take Edna Blue Cross Blue Shield Sigma and Humana and they have they work with other insurances as well I guess it's called daylight recovery center now well you know what I think it's closed hold on it's called Calvary Healing Center it's counseling and mental health rehabilitation center for addition and medicine it's open 24 hours so any time you need to go there's gonna be a bet for you and you can't bring your cigarettes it's on 720 East Montebell Avenue Phoenix the number is eight six six seven six seven six two three seven the numbers eight six six seven six seven six two three seven a Calvary Center calm I highly recommend this place every single one of the counselors and the behavioral technicians are recovered addicts so they know what you're going through and they know when you're bullshitting and they eat you can't bring drugs in the rehab that's a no-no so when I went to detox they have this nice area called the nursing station and whenever you need Ben and drill whenever you need Ben and drill whenever you need to go to sleep just go to the nursing station whenever you need a nicotine patch go to the nursing station they'll hook you up they know exactly what you need but when you're in detox it's a bunch of teddy bears and movies and blankets because you're detoxing you're coming off the drugs and it sucks so they're trying to make your stay as comfortable as possible see at first rehab is really scary because it's like you your parents are leaving and they're happy that they're leaving you behind you're like you're happy and you're in you're scared you're just really really scared and you have a piece of paper with your friends phone numbers on it so you can call them you can only use the phone for five minutes but it's needed you need to disconnect from the outside world in order to get sober if you if all if all you know is dealers and drugs and dealers and drugs and money and drugs and dealers and drugs if that's so life you only know then you need to could disconnect from the outside world and go to rehab there was something really special about that place there was something really special about waking up and having waffles and having oh that's another thing about rehab you get really fat they fatten you up because they know that your ass has been speedballing and not eating and eating and when you do eat you eat stuff like Burger King and Slushies I'm projecting I'm sorry but like honestly rehab is the best thing that you can do for yourself I still when I went to detox I was so bad on Xanax that they gave me value and I was like really high on it and I was like whoa and then there was just a bunch of like infomercials and a bunch of old movies that's what you can expect in rehab is a bunch of old movies expect my girl and bridesmaids to be in rehab I've met some of the most down-to-earth most real people in rehab because they're just like you they've completely lost it they completely hit rock bottom and they need help they got their hands in the air saying Jesus take the wheel this kids that I I won't say his name or her name or their name I don't know their pronouns but it was humbling because I found a classmate in detox and you guys have no idea how comfortable that made me feel because I was really scared I was 17 I was I just graduated high school and everything I knew I just left behind which was drugs and like he was someone my age going through the same thing I didn't feel alone I didn't feel alone let me just gather myself together shout out to Debbie's shout out to all the butt-tits vendors at Debbie's on Peoria and 27th Avenue that's my dispenser I got a blue dreams dizzy sometimes I get a pre-roll sometimes I get the whole story they don't ask questions shout out to Adam a nature's medicine that's my dog you guys have been getting a lot of visits to the patron and no patron so I want to let you know and let me explain to you the level one of the patron level one you get a digital print and a digital commission a commission what that is is you get to tell me what you want me to draw you and you do get free shipping so level two tier you get everything in level one except you get a painting an eight and a half by eleven inch that's the same size as your printing paper free shipping in level three you get everything in level two except you get a charcoal portrait commission every single month it's like Lisa Frank you guys except it's more art and I'm so excited but let me know if you'd rather have like stickers and buttons and all types of stuff if you just want to pledge a custom pledge a month like a dollar or five dollars or something like that you have the option to do so just hop on down to the description link and click on the page friendly gets the first one if you are interested in sponsoring this podcast I have ads lots available I have many slots available go ahead and email me at info and do you make use calm coloring books are coming out tomorrow you guys I'm so excited to come out with these coloring books wait until the afternoon because I'm gonna shoot some promo pics I had to pick up up in the morning I'm so excited and the last time I released a coloring book I was 23 so this was 2018 super super super super super super super super super super super long time ago and shout out to base Jesus for retweeting my coloring book and getting me sales I love you my uncle Jason and my friend Carla visited me while I was in detox and it meant the world to me that's how you know who you who who's your friend and who really cares about you my uncle drove all the way down from New Mexico and my friend Carla she went out of her way to contact my mom and find out where I was so after detox I had to go to 30-day treatment so I'm in detox they put you in detox just as long as as long as you need to so you don't die from not being on the drugs so they put me in detox and they kept me on bentos and long enough just long enough so I didn't die I guess yeah so the 30-day treatment is even scarier than detox I will admit cuz you're going in a room full of like dozens of strangers dozens of brats dozens of other people who are coming off drugs and like there are levels to addicts you guys like there's addicts you're addicts like you have your addicts right your addicts then you have your alcoholics then you have your heroin addicts then you have your meth addicts the heroin addicts the extra TLC the heroin addicts they're god bless them heroin is a hell of a drug don't do heroin I've never done heroin because of this reason the people in here the people in rehab who are coming off heroin are monsters they want to fight they want to scratch themselves out of their body they want fentanyl they they're scary there was this girl I forgot her name but she swallowed a fentanyl patch because she heard it was gonna get her high oh my god and like in rehab we had a routine every day we had roommates we had our routine consisted of chores so we have to wake up every morning on like 5 30 a.m. on the dot and then we have to eat breakfast get ready for breakfast we have to make our beds eat breakfast and then we have to go to like there we have to go to like meditation or church and then we have to clean and then we had to get ready for a meeting and then we had to it was just back-to-back meetings and and and work working the steps and therapy and just daily daily work in rehab daily work at your addiction and there's like different types of therapies like we went to the Japanese garden we had equine therapy with the horses it was very very very nice very nice and very well worth the money I hate to say this but rehab Calvary is as good as it gets as far as rehab affordable rehabs and there is a rehab in Tucson where celebrities go let me look it up for rehab it's called Buena Vista alcohol and recovery drug and alcohol recovery I remember like the first week in 30-day treatment I called my mom and I was like get me out of here get me out of here I don't want to be in here and it was right after the psych I saw the psychiatrist you see the psychiatrist there's two different types of psychiatrists there's a psychiatrist that wants to push you pills in the psychiatrist that wants to get you off the pills the one that wants to get you off the pills they tell you what you need to hear not what you want to hear this doctor this Asian doctor I'll never forget he told me that I was a that had that I had a victim mentality and I was pissed this is how I knew that something was wrong with my thinking is because this doctor told me I had a victim mentality you know how mad I was I was like victim mentality how dare you how dare you you see when someone's a victim there's no like telling them hey you know like you're kind of getting in your own way because I came in wanting drugs right so I like came in with this story like I was molested my mom and I argue blah blah blah he's like you're just a one big baby you just have this one big story that you live by and I was like oh how dare you and he gave me sleeping pills and bipolar medication he said this is what's gonna work now I was like fine side note I know that me telling this story is gonna help people because when I was dealing with Daniel I'm buying drugs from Daniel who is now deceased rest in peace but when I was buying drugs from hell he was working at this place called Chase Bank and we had a conversation one day over a cigarette and he confided in me he was like hey you know like I he was heavy in the drugs okay he was selling drugs really bad and so I told him I'm like hey if you ever feel out of control if you ever feel like you just need a break you feel like you even though you have you say that you can stop you can't stop it it's okay to go to rehab it's okay to get help it's okay to take a break sometimes that's what you need and then he disappeared he just disappeared and then he came back and he's like hey I went to rehab and I want to thank you because it was the best thing I could have done no one ever encouraged me to do anything like that and I was like wow so I know me telling my story is gonna help people that's why I push and push and push myself to do these podcast because I have so many stories I have so many instances where I fucked up in life where I can just help you I'm not trying to like share my life and for the sake of sharing for the sake of content that's not what I'm doing I want to help you I want to help my fellow girl I want to help my fellow man I want to help my fellow non-binary after each night a girl would go home because if you think about it people come into rehab every day so people leave every day because it's their 30 days so it's someone 30 days every day so at night we would I don't know if you guys know anything about like AA meetings or like narcotics anonymous they have all types of like anonymous not go over that in a second the rehab had a coin out they called a coin out so like each girl would take a coin and the coin have the serenity prayer and the serenity prayer let me Google it the serenity prayer is God grab me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference that's the serenity prayer so the coin have the serenity prayer and we would take the coin and we'd be like for example Candice you were great had a lovely time with you I charged his coin with love grace and happiness and then they passed it off to the next person well my coin out I was dead asleep cuz I will have too much trash is done in cerebral trash is done in cerebral are sleeping poles thanks Asian doctor so after rehab you have outpatient so basically what outpatient is is and kind of like integrating you back into regular life you go to sober living houses which they drug test you and you have a curfew and you live with other girls who are in recovery and those never work out those are breeding grounds for relapse and I want to talk about relapse in a second but before I get into relapse I want to talk about the different types of AA meetings there's alcoholics anonymous there's narcotics anonymous there's heroin anonymous wait no not heroin anonymous that's not autonomous there's marijuana anonymous there's over eaters anonymous and there's alanon what alanon is is a support group for people who have at we have loved one to our attic so if your loved one is an attic there's a support group for you called alanon my mom is a member of alanon so obviously I'm 26 obviously I've relapsed because I've gotten my car accident stuff but like the principles of rehab have always stuck with me respect and order and routine and environment and just peace and sobriety if I ever need peace if I ever like I can always admit to myself you need to help that's what rehab taught me I can always admit to myself when I need help and yeah rehab begins there's this notion that you go to rehab and you're gonna come out 100% sober that's not the fact it begins the groundwork because being sober is a lifelong process because you're an addict forever if you're addicted to drugs you're always gonna be addicted to drugs whether you're using it or not it's like sobriety is just a way of life it's choosing not to do drugs and for some people there's different levels of sobriety and that's another discussion but for some people there's only one way of sobriety and that's being sober from all substances my not 20 substances so good night good morning good evening good afternoon whatever you're listening I bid you a do if you need more resources if you need more information on where to get help in the Phoenix area for drug and alcohol addiction or if you need resources on meetings contact me at instagram.com/doman can this podcast in for MDMingQ.com hop on to the patreon and I'll talk to you next time bye bye