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Backyard Hang
Episode 51: Goochie Goochie Goo?
[music] Good morning. This is the podcast. What? Why'd you talk like that? Okay, Andy, you can't all at once be the freestyle guy. And then when you hear a sick beat coming at you. I mean, how was that a beat? That it was rhythmic. You were talking like you were having a trouble time. It's bouncy. It's like a beat. A trouble time. You know what? I can't. I can't. I just can't even. What's she doing back there? I think Darwin is coming from smelling your pee behind me. Yeah, just checking it out. I bet she is. What a nasty little freak she is. You freak, Darwin, freak. Darwin, you go pee behind the shed and then she's like, "I got to go check out. We got a bunch of parts of stuff on her paws. You got some burrs? Oh, no. You got some burrs that thing here. That's right. You know what? That is cobwebs. I mean, Darwin. Cobwebs. Darwin, they get the dirty feet. What happened to you? Our birdie, our sweet bird, she got some dental work done, had to get anesthetized, knocked out. She was out of it and they shaved two little patches on her front legs so they get that little ivy in there. We bring her home. She starts licking at it and we have to put a donut on her. She hates the donut because she can't sleep in it. Then we take it off. I called the vet and was like, "Is there anything else we can do?" They go, "You wrap it, but you keep it loose." What we do is we cut up a sock, slide the sock up on her legs, a long tube sock. It's real fun. She looks like she's in the NBA. Oh, yeah. She looks like Flashdance. This looks like a sleeve on her legs. It's pretty fun. What the heck did she get into back there? I'm telling you, it's no man's leg. So what happened to your dog? They're a little piss-free candy. She's gonna get into some stuff, you know? You have to re-brush her. She has covered and stuff. She doesn't like that. Don't have such a freaky dog. She doesn't love to have her feet touched. Do you feed her a mess? She doesn't like to have her feet touched? No, she doesn't love it. I mean, she'll tolerate it, but she doesn't love it. Is she ticklish? I think she ticklish. It's like sticky. She stepped and sticky pines back there. Alex, what'd you do back there? Shut up. That guy. That's not for that. Well, we're gonna talk about all that sexy stuff on the main path. Get me all ripped ready to go. Where do you think get-you-get-you-goo comes from? I think that was like a thing. Excuse me? You like to take a step and go get-you-get-you-goo? No, nobody's, it's Gucci Gucci-gu. Either way, where the fuck does it come from, all right? I'm not here to argue the semantics of it. What parallel universe did you come from where they said get-you-get-you-goo? What do you say? Gucci Gucci-gu. Oh, it's Gucci Gucci-gu. Tommy's right. They were so wrong that I couldn't even remember what it was. I think this is really- Tommy's right. This is like soda and pop. This is what this is. Gucci Gucci Gucci-guo, Gucci Gucci-guo. Gucci Gucci-guo. Gucci Gucci-guo is a different thing. That's a song. Gucci Gucci Gucci-guo is like a ticklet, your ticklet. Gucci Gucci-guo. Gucci Gucci-guo. Most songs are Gucci Gucci-guo if you really break it down. Did you even turn the mosquito thing on? Yeah, it's right by my feet. You just bring it over there by you. It's like son of a bitch. I charge that thing. There's no way to put it that's in between, you know. Well, on today's Patreon episode, we got two stories from the news. Top stories. Top stories. Two top stories from the news. We got two top stories. Alex, you got a segment called Villain or Not Villain that we teased on the main podcast. And we got some shout outs from the backyard gang. That's where they're from. Should we start there? Shout out from the backyard gang. Shout out from the backyard gang. He's never ready. He's never ready. He's never ready. Should we shout out? Two weeks. Shout out. This is a comment. You get sticky stuff on the bottom of your feet too. I take a piss back there. I'm a dirty little piss freak as well. So this is a comment from old Lucky Alley. Lucky Alley. It's honestly now making me wonder if these painters dumped shit back there. You think they put some stuff back there? There's something sticky back there. I don't love that. That sums up, dude. Something is up. It's all over the bottom of your shoe. Lucky Alley said, "I heart emoji." The fact that Alex, the guy that uses an Ohio-only bank where he's pants to the beach and like Skyline Chili had the audacity to say that George Kittle seems like he could be, quote, "a lot." Wow. I love this guy. Who's this guy? That's Lucky Alley. That's shot by Alex. Lucky Alley. Lucky Alley. See? Chris Lally. Lucky Alley is one of my favorite people. Real shots. Gets it. That's what I say. Nothing that he laid out there that I describe as someone being a lot, okay? Go watch receiver. There's no way that's a false equivalency that I am anything like George Kittle. Who are a lot don't think they're a lot. George Kittle is a lot. I'm not going to back down on this take. George Kittle seems like he is a lot. He's a lot. You know who he is? He's a two-present. A lot of yards after the catch. A lot of touchdowns. What are you getting at? He's not 49ers propaganda hour. This is... I'm talking about... Here's a guarantee to let the league at least in tight ends and yards after catch. You know what? He also leads the league in fucking creeping me out a little bit, dude. He's too far with these positive affirmations. You know what I used to be in. You probably know what I'm speaking to. You know what I'm from? I'm being positive? You know what George Kittle has a lot of hair. What's up? He's got a lot of hair. He is doing a lot of hair. Don't even... Don't even have a little hater over here. You are a hot skipping a jump away from me and me. My man's so good. You dare to come to me with his kind of energy. He's just a lot. And he seems like, you know, I wish I was more like him, but he's a lot, dude. He is a lot. Well, I'm very unfamiliar with the internet app Reddit. I barely ever understand it and I'm trying to get into it. And so I thought it would be fun to look up our podcast on Reddit, see if anybody talks about it. And some people laugh. And if you want to be the one that starts the backyard hanging Reddit, I'd love it if you did it. And I will definitely comment on it. You got to get in there? Maybe all of us. So I'll read it. So we got to get one going. Do it. It's not safe for... I'm going to do AMA. Yeah. Do it alone. That's that too. Yeah. We'll do it alone. What are we going to do? Ask me anything. Ask me anything. You're going to get into Reddit. That's a big, Reddit thing. AMA. So what if we do it, ask me, do we do it as the pod? Oh, yeah. We could do it as a pod. Yeah. So we make a Reddit for the podcast and then say, ask me anything. Well, I don't think it's quite that simple. Here's the other thing that happened. How do you do it? How do you get people to log on to it? You're asking all the right questions. I don't know. I liked that thing where the Patreon just dropped an episode where it was a drop and it was like it's happening at 5 p.m. And even though it wasn't recorded at the time, everybody got to listen to it together. Got to listen a lot. I hopped on the chat. I think we should do that again sometime, but like drop a lot. Tell people. That dropped on us. Yeah. That was a surprise for everybody. What it was is Patreon changed their interface and made that a thing you could do and they made it the default thing to do. Are you holding it a burp right now? What's going on? I was. And I'm glad we got through it, but they changed it too. You can burp on this podcast. Well, I did, but then it was like I needed to just take a big breath and I was just flying my man. I couldn't stop talking, you know. But what's the shout out from the background? Well, anyway, the people were talking about us because they had heard Joe list on here and then they got turned on to the podcast from from Joe's visit and people talking about the podcast. I love Lucy for Lucy for like I love Lucy for for I think it's like a fun way to spell the devil. Oh, who's that? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Never heard of the podcast, but I love John again and Woodhall. So I will be listening tonight for sure. Thanks for sharing. And then fried F R and sorry, not mentioned said definitely worth the listen. So people are loving the podcast on Reddit feels like you really selectively chose. Okay. I mean, if I'm selectively choosing, I would have chosen this one. Lafayette commie says, Woodhall is a beast live. Okay. Seems like you selectively chose that one as well. Well, I did choose the other one. I choose one that mentioned the most of us. He said the one that just said the two of us because he knew you'd say something. So then he could say the one about him. He's over here for each year. This person. This is the person that started it. You fried RFN. Mm hmm. I'm going to not read the whole thing because it's a little bit long, but it says, uh, uh, ba ba ba ba ba ba. Tommy John again was a guest and really funny. So I checked out his podcast with Alex Stone. They've since rebranded to the backyard gang and added Andy Woodhall to the mix. It's a fun pod and kind of reminds me of an LA version of Tuesday with stories. Whoa. Really. Just love that my name was involved in that one. You know, I love that I'm getting some chatter on the Reddit. Usually when I get a love on Reddit, it's when I post a picture of my own cookies on Reddit. Yeah. I did a Reddit bit with Alex. He didn't really play out as well as I thought. He commented on the thing while he was sitting across from me. But it wasn't on his cookie, but I found his fucking cookie post by just searching cookies. And it's at the top. Yeah. It was a popular, right? It was really popular in the red. But I asked a ridiculous cookie question and I thought maybe he'd get like a ping, but he didn't, but then he just happened to be checking the cookie thing while I was sitting there. I was like, what do you got there? Any new comments? But it wasn't like, Hey, Tommy John, I get commented on there. So it was just like a person, you know, and so I read it because I just logged on and I made it my name. But they said a lot of people don't put their name. Well, mine, I did it through Apple and mine is just some like jumble mumbo jumble mumbo jumble. And I don't know how to make it my name. So I'm just, I'm logged in as this anonymous internet guy. Dude, I'm trying to rebrand my email over here and every possible variation of me having a normal email has been taken. I got there's there's a tri Alex Stone, a gmo. I tried that. I try putting the dot, you try Alexander stone. I tried that stone dot Alex. Here's what was available is my full legal name just at gmail.com, which feels too little. If you have full first middle and that's what I'm saying. So I mean, I'm gonna just have to I'm relegated to live in life as just I'm gonna have numbers in there or I got to have some weird thing, you know, here's more like your credit card number. Oh, you know what? That's a good idea. Social security. No, it's got that. That's mine. You can't have that stone dot Alex taken stone cold Alex stone cold. That's what I'm saying. I could do stuff that for sure is taken, but I could do I could do some weird stuff like that. I'm in a lot of Alex stones and there's stone cold. What about stone cold Alex question mark? Oh, I don't think you could put a question on old guy given someone his email address in the day. And he goes, here it is. It's all lowercase and it's got a good chocolate just and the person he gave it to didn't correct him. Yeah, is someone supposed to be like, you know, you don't have to say that or do you just let this guy be old? Let him be old. You know what I mean? Some things are case sensitive. Who knows of emails like that? Mm hmm. You know what I mean? If I had if I had one of those emails where there was a dot in the middle like if it was Alex dot stone, I think I would probably still by force of habit capitalized the S, you know, as I was writing it out, not the a well the a also I do you guys capitalize that? Do you capitalize the first letter in your email when you're writing it out? No, I write it. Whatever happens. Whatever happens happens. I still can't. I can't do it for you. You do? Yeah. No, I don't know. I don't do it because I'm like, I need to do it, but it's just force of habit. I'm writing my name. I capitalize that a it's capitalizing Alexander dot stone taken stone dot Alexander. You would not believe how many variations that you think Alex there's so many. I tried initials two dots axle I tried I that one there was one version that was available that was like it was weird, but I had to drop the it was like a L X dot L dot stone maybe and I told the more she was like people are just going to put the E in there if they're emailing you and which I thought was not wrong. I thought that was a positive and I'm just a Gmail first. You know what? This is why I got to come on here is why I come here first I can't just be doing stuff at home. I got to be doing it on here. What about Alex stones email at gmail.com here's more is pitch. She said you don't like what I just said that is fun, but she pitched hay dot Alex. It's like some version of hay is first or high on like that and I was like, I don't know. I just hate that I can't have my name, you know, Alex don't even why don't you just got to be like me be the only one. That would be great. I'd love to be that. I got I'm the only time of John again to the point I have my name Yahoo just forgot the password. I live there. It is is dead now Gmail is there starting to delete unused emails where I've got I got one about our podcast was like, hey, you haven't logged in here in a minute and then I got another one that I may and it's just like they're not they're not fucking around. They're like we got too many where we're get rid of the ones that no one's using, which I think is great. I miss the boat. I was at that eight where I was like didn't think it was important to get my name. Is your name with numbers right now? Huh? This is your name with numbers? I want to why I want to change this because right now there's it's comedy is at the end and I'm like, I don't want to say this to the doctor. You know what I mean? I don't want to I feels weird saying it to just like I just don't want to say that. Yeah. And so I just want to stop saying that and that's that's why I find myself where I am and I don't know. How many doctors you going to? If you go to the doctor tomorrow, you know, here's why I got to go to the doctor tomorrow. A little bit of an update here. Y'all said you definitely going to have sleep apnea. You know you're going to have sleep apnea. You know they're going to make you buy that sleep apnea machine. And guess what? You fucking idiots. I don't have sleep apnea and they didn't make me buy that now I got to go back to the doctor. So who's the idiot now? Well, now you're going to find out what else they're going to be. Yeah, you're just going back to the doctor. That's right. I'm going back tomorrow. I think what they realize is there's a little more milk lift in this cow. No, I had to press to get this appointment. The lady called me. She was like, Hey, you don't have sleep apnea and I was like, okay. And she was like, so that. So that's it. Well, if I could last time I was in there, I talked to the doctor. He said, if it's not this, then there may be are some other avenues that we could try to help me sleep. And she was like, well, do you want me to make another appointment? I said, yes, I do. And this is all because you can't get a heart anymore? No, this is because I'm having trouble sleeping. Oh, right. Because I'm having trouble going. I don't have any trouble going to bed. I got trouble staying in bed. You know, I got trouble staying asleep. Because you fall asleep to cheers. That's not him. That you fall. I think there's, I'm going to say I'm going to live here and say there's scientific evidence that people having fucking lights shining in their face right before they fall asleep is not good for your sleep. And why do I fall asleep? You cannot stay asleep. Yeah. Have you tried not watching cheers before bed? I can't. I got it. Why I got to watch. This is crazy. I can't believe you're going to doctors and you haven't tried not watching an iPad. I've been doing that for instead of decades. Instead of watching cheers, Mora sings to you the theme song from cheers as you fall asleep. Give me a little get you, get you, get you, get you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we only give it a try, you know, but I think you got to tell the doctor you watch cheers every night. I'm not telling the doctor since just from your face shit about my viewing habits. Okay. Yeah, that's it. I think we solved it right now. You're not solving it. I've been doing that for decades. I've only been having trouble sleeping within the past couple years. Things change as you get older. You get too much light sensitivity. No, absolutely. Give it a try. I'm not going to give it a try. I'm not going to give it a try because it's the only way that I can fall asleep. I'm not fucking with the thing that's working. I give it a break. Do not. What about you? I read a book to read a book. You're not supposed to read in bed, Andy. It's one of the main laws of sleep. The bed is not for reading. That's enough. It's for watching TV. You watch a show. I don't watch it. It's just on. I don't watch it. It's just on. It's the basis. It's crazy. You guys are. You're not supposed to read a book to fall asleep. You can read a book but not in your bed. Why not? It doesn't say. Well, then why would you read a book to fall asleep, not in your bed? Because I don't know. I don't know. I don't know where you got this info, but you read a book. Yeah. This is like bad. If we're talking about known science, that is known science, you're not supposed to be reading in bed. I don't think that's known science. I think it's the number one thing people do to fall asleep and not read in bed. I feel like you just. I'm googling it. I feel like you've been to Florida recently. I'm googling it. I'm googling it. I'm googling it. Don't take a shot at me. Don't take a shot at me. You know I'm from this. Yeah. Don't read in bed. Shoot me about gays. Don't read in bed. You can read. Just got this. There's two of you and one of me on this. You guys, you get it. You get it. You get it. You keep your googling. Dead rock. I have never even heard of this in my life. Should you read in bed? Google. Reading in bed can be a part of a bedtime or team that, you know, I might go down. Okay. Hold on. Hold on. Let me get. Let me get. Let me get at the second or third page. Please scroll and go. I'm trying someone to agree to me. Shh. Shh. Here's what. I told me that it was, can help you fall asleep, okay? Is this Google AI that we can't be trusted? Okay. So let me get down a little bit further. Okay. Here we go. Headspace. Headspace. You guys trust headspace? No. They're trying to sell. They want you to listen to their meditation app. Oh my God. You guys, too. Don't do a book. Stay on your phone. No. No. No, no, no. You've been sold. I've not been sold. Okay. Well, that's calm. So we don't want that one either. He's literally on things. There is a book I have that says you're not supposed to read in bed. I'll break that. Where'd you read it? I'll bring you that. There's no book. I'm doing it. Don't read this in bed. Whatever you do. It's just a huge. That's the title of it. I'll tell you you're not supposed to read in bed, all right? And once I have more time to Google it and find, you know, you had this girl so deep. You just passed two places that tried to sell you is reading in bad, bad. You guys think everyone's trying to sell you something and I proved you wrong on the fucking sleeve app. And you guys are stealing trench that you literally are sure they literally didn't try and sell it to me. They said you don't need it. The websites you're talking about. I'm talking about the sleeve back. Backtracking to the thing he feels he was right about. Yeah. About her emails. That's what these days don't read. What about her email? That is not at all. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. You guys are out of your way. Well, you want to admit that we're right and getting one of these top stories. Oh my God. I'll never admit that you're right. Because you know what? You've never done that many times. I was right about the sleep app. You know what we find ourselves. Read and best. It's because your mind is being trained to be alert and in information gathering mode is what it is. All right. And I don't need Google to tell me that. It's just a thing that I know for being like, well, do you believe that in this sense? It makes sense. This guy's been googling the same time as me. You can't find it either. No. I mean, all I found was positives. I'm just trying to find a, this is from a dot because you're reading it. They want you to read it. You know what I'm saying? No, this is a study. You're talking about an app that says, don't do that. By our thing, overall reading a book in bed before going to sleep and prove sleep quality. What's that from? It's from, I got to go all the way to the top. I bet you do. The National Library of Medicine, it's not even a dot gov website. You can get, look, you know how I couldn't find my fucking name and an email? You can just register any kind of just, I don't think you can register a dot gov. You have to do, all you have to do is be a gov and then you get it. I don't think you guys are saying. You are sounding more and more, don't trust the government. You got to be a gov. Don't trust science. He's up to saying he's got to be a gov, dude. You won Joe Rogan podcast the way for completely meet a different guy. We're on a podcast right now. We're one Joe Rogan away from this podcast. Have you ever heard of a bedtime story? Yeah. This is how you bring it into adulthood. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. A bedtime story is closer to what I'm doing with cheers than what you're doing because cheers is essentially the bedtime story to me, but don't try to take my thing and make it your thing. How are you not even willing to try to just read a book to fall asleep if you're saying all cheers does is help you fall asleep because it helps me fall asleep. I can fall asleep and if it ain't broke, I don't fix it. Well, what we're saying is maybe the reason you don't stay asleep and then once you fall asleep, the book doesn't stay on the book fucking falls. He's really, he takes my fucking nose. Now he's got a book on my chest rolling over and getting paper cuts and shit. It's a terrible idea. You guys. Oh my God. You read a book, you fall asleep and then there's not a fucking next episode that plays automatically. I put the sleep timer on the TV, dude. It turns off. It goes to bed when I go to bed. Everyone's going to bed. Fine. It's just stay asleep. I think stay asleep. Tell this doctor you watched cheers before bed. I'm not telling this doctor shit. I don't even think he's a good doctor. I told you I'm going back because I've already got the ball rolling on the sleep thing. It's hoping to get something that'll help me fall asleep and stay asleep. That's all I want. Do you think you can't say because you took that vaccine? You guys got the same fucking time I did same place. I believe Andy sat in front of me when he got it. I drink. Should we get into a top story number one or two apple bees, let's just do that one. The apple bees story. Yeah. Yeah. Apple bees. I'm an apple bees. Well, I think maybe hold on. Maybe one on a wild goose chase here. You go pod and then type hit the top and you go to links. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. It changed my whole world on the internet. I've seen it. No, I've had to Google too many things on the podcast and then I use the tab that I had open. Here we go. You all ready for this? Yeah. Woman. Woman. Oh man. Arrested it. The end of apple bees after argument over all you can eat. Uh huh. So this is kind of an update because we talked about apple bees all you can eat. I was gonna say it's checking a lot of boxes for this pod. We've talked about... We've talked about... Do I? Do I? I think about it often. Usually when I'm falling asleep. Why don't... Let's have Tom while I'm here. I like hanging out with Tom. He said no. I don't know what you want me to do. All right. Woman. Arrested it in apple bees. Woman. Woman was arrested at an apple bees restaurant in Portage, Indiana. Andy? Where the fuck is that? I'm not sure where Portage is. Is that right? I'm trying to distance themselves from a story. It seems. The part of Indiana I'm from, everybody acts real polite in apple bees. Is that right? Everybody's on their best behavior. They wear hats. So if I read you a headline of a story and say a woman was arrested at apple bees for arguing about the all you can eat, how old would you guess that woman is? Oh, that's a great question. I read this article and I don't know. In your mind's eye, you picture a woman getting arrested, getting drug out of an apple bees because she was arguing about the all you can eat. Can I tell you this? How old is that woman? I'm going to say if this is in southern Indiana, I'm going to go... It's northwest Indiana. We got... It's very close to Gary. I was going to say in the south, southern Indiana is a little questionable, but it's south of this, or Tennessee or something like that, I'd go, she's 50s or 60s. This one? I'm going to go 25 years old. 25. Andy? 30. 20. 8 years old. Wow. You went over right there in the middle on August 2nd. She was charged with disorderly conduct, okay? According to the arrest report, officers... Oh, hold a second. Did you read the story? Uh-uh. What do you... What do you think she got arrested for in relation to all you can eat from apple bees? Uh-uh. Mmm. I think she tried to order extra and take it home. Ooh. They were like, "You can only... You have it. There's no takes home." No taking homes. That's the nature of an all you can eat deal. You eat it here or you can't eat it. Those are the rules. According to the arrest report, officers with the Portage Police Department were dispatched. That is a crazy sentence to read. The apple bees are located on US Highway 6, around 838 PM on August 2nd for reported verbal disturbance. Police dispatchers advised responding officers that they heard multiple, multiple female screaming and threatening people and one of the officers responding wrote, "Oh, okay. So hold on. Let me just skip ahead of you." Don't talk to me. When the officer arrived on the scene, they were met outside by multiple adults including the woman who said that they had been involved in a verbal altercation with the apple bees manager. Okay? Uh-uh. According to the arrest report, the group was under the impression that if one person at the table ordered the all you can eat deal, it was good for the entire table. Isn't that insane? That's crazy. I'm embarrassed to be from Indiana if people really thought that. It's all you can eat. I think that's a lie. I think that's a lie they said after to try to cover for themselves. They tried to bully their way and then wanted to do that, got caught, and then said, "Oh, but we thought it was okay." There's a detail in the story that caused me to form maybe a similar opinion, but not, I think that they thought they got one over on them and they were like, "You know what? This doesn't say you can't fucking do it for everybody." Yeah. And they go in there because there's one point in the story where she's yelling like, "It does, it doesn't show me where it says it." And then a cop hands her a menu and right under it, it says one per person. It does indeed say the deal was per person. I was definitely going to cover that. She was like, "I couldn't read that, I was in bed." The woman pointed toward, she was also engaged in an argument with a couple. The woman pointed toward the couple and told the officer she had exchanged words with them earlier as the couple exited the restaurant's word or exchanged again. The woman became very loud and disorderly, attracting the attention of other patrons. And that's just the last little detail in here. Another person in the group went back into the restaurant and paid the bill in full after realizing that the menu stated, "All you can eat deal was per person." I think either they're dumb, I mean, because you got to just like the baseline knowledge to know that that's not going to happen. Or I think they were a little like, a little in over the skis thinking they're smarter than Applebee's. Yeah. Well, we'll just say it's not on there and then we'll go, "Oh, shit. It's not." Let me ask you guys to enjoy your Riblets. And be honest. Do you think you guys are smarter than Applebee's? No way. You worked out. You saw the insides of the beast. I think I'm smarter than parts of Applebee's. Parts of Applebee's? Okay. What are the three things that are all you can eat on the new, all you can eat thing? Boneless chicken wings, shrimps, riblets. Okay. F. Mary kill. Oh, boneless chicken wings, shrimp, riblets. Kill. I got you. The shrimp, fuck those riblets. And I'm going to marry the boneless chicken wings. The way you said it isn't how the game's intended. I made it my own way. Wait. Which one? So you didn't-- Fuck the riblets. No, don't say like that. Kill the shrimp. I'm going to kill the shrimp. I'm a hanger. No, it's different. You said it's different. Fuck those riblets. Now you've confused me because I thought I had my hands on these shrimp. No, you can't say it. Here's the rod here. Here's how you say it. I'm going to do it. Please. I'm going to-- I'm going to kill them riblets. I'm going to kill them. Okay. And then-- I'm going to fuck them shrimp. Oh. Oh, all right. Oh. I'm marrying those boneless chicken wings. Well, I think we're unanimously marrying them chicken wings. Yeah, dude. But I'm with Alex. I'm going to fuck them riblets and I'm going to kill the shrimp. Wait. I don't know what you're saying. Kill you shrimp. You know what you're saying? You're going to do it by fuck those riblets. I think we may all have the same answer, but there's just a little loss in translation. I'm going to fuck those riblets, dude, but kill them-- Kill them as I worked at Applebee's and people would ask what the riblets were. And I don't even know to this day of what I said were true, but I kind of just thought of the animal and the cheapest part is probably-- and it's the line of rib meat that where the ribs meet the vertebrae and there's little bones and I don't even know if it's right. Can we Google a riblets? The other one has been to a chiropractor. I've eaten the riblets a lot of times, and I know one thing about them. If you eat them all they're hot, they're delicious. If you let them cool off a little bit, it's the nastiest thing you've ever put in your mouth. Is that right? Wait. A piece of meat in the end was-- my buddy said he used to work at Applebee's and he would make the riblets and he said, "While they're cooking them, they based them in lard." Okay. Is that true, Tommy? Lard makes a lot of things. The other thing is good. They're based them in lard. It's-- Well, I hear from the back end of a spare rib. Okay. I don't know. What's a giblet? Now we know what a riblet is. What's a giblet? I feel like a giblet's like an inside piece of something. Like a turkey? Oh, I got a picture of a pig right here. Oh. Yeah. It is like-- Hey, that was right. You're right? That's got to feel good. Yeah. It's just where it meets the vertebrae there. You get a turkey and Thanksgiving and there's like some stuff on the inside of it. Those are the giblets? You take them out. I think those are giblets. Those are the giblets, huh? Yeah. Oh, look up giblet. What are you guys doing? Litt, do you want to look up? We're all looking up litts right now. I'm going to look up giblet real quick because I think giblet, I think you're right, but I do want to check. You know what I did? Yeah. How often do you Google something on your phone and you spell the words way wrong, but you're certain that you're close enough that it'll auto correct? I'm with you. Pretty regularly. That's pretty regularly. That's pretty regularly. This I typed in "joblet." Turns out, "joblet's a thing." Joblet's a real thing, huh? Joblet is a corporate offer. That corporate offer's in Turin, Italy, which not at all what I wanted, but I'll type in "joblet" here. I'll go back and fix it and here's what a giblet is. There are multiple matches for giblet. Okay. You know what, Google? Go fuck yourself. Don't do the AI thing. I'm doing the AI. Edible organs of a foul, such as the heart, liver, and gizzard. Yeah, it's what's in there. The word is pronounced a giblet or giblets. It comes from the French word giblet, which may have referred to Regout Stu made from game. So there you go. But can we trust it? Can we giblet? Libbed across from the full house case. Oh, that right. Oh, Kimmy Gibbs. Kimmy Kimmy Gibbs. Well, you guys want to play my new game? Yeah. Villain. Who is the villain? Villain or not? Villain or not villain. Villain or not villain. Yeah. We know who the villain or the not villain is. So I, as we discussed, Andy and I, were in Albuquerque, New Mexico. And one of the things you better not be another thing about my family. This is the, oh, that'd be a fun twist on the game. Gotcha. One of the things about going to Albuquerque is that you got to fly home. And so I'm flying home from Albuquerque and in the row, across the aisle, one up. So I can see just perfectly into what they got going on. You know what I mean? Is a, is a woman and a, and her man, the woman is on the window seat and the man is in the middle seat. Okay. Mm hmm. No one else is in the row. Now we get up there in the air. Woman takes her shoes off, takes her shoes off, puts in. Are they together? They're together, puts her legs across the man's lap, but they put a jacket on her feet to cover them up. So I put to you, Villain or not villain. They're sexy feet. All I saw was the bottoms and, and you find me, that's the part you're off. No socks, no socks barefoot, barefoot is out for a second and then a jacket goes over and now it's just feet with a jacket on top, but the shoes were taken off on the plane. So we're starting at Villain, but do they do enough to get back to not have definitely villain if it's not someone you know in the room, in the row with you. It's just the two of them, but putting them on the seat is getting into villain territory for me. I'm going to say villain. You're saying villain. I don't think you should have your bare feet. If it were socks and nobody's on that, I think I would forgive it. So you're saying, are they sticking out in the aisle? No, they're on the, they're on the aisle seat. So she's like stretched her legs out back on the window over the guy's lap and then the jacket on top of the feet. Oh, not a feet guy. I don't think you should have your feet out on planes or anywhere in public, but because they covered it, I'm going to go out of villain. Not a villain. So Andy, you're saying you're okay with people taking their feet out of the shoe because I was there in my row. But I'm saying that she's in a row, it's only her partner. You can take a foot out of a shoe. If you have a sock on, I don't think you can have a barefoot ever. I'm anti, I think your foot stays in the shoe because of the potential smell. You ever popped your shoe off, you had a sock on, wow, it's funky. And you take shoes off to walk through TSA, God knows what's on the bottom of those socks now. You know what I mean? Was she in a sandal? She was in a sandal. So she already didn't have socks on. She already didn't have socks on. I mean, what's the difference with her putting her sandal foot up there in a no foot? No sandal changes everything. Sandal already kind of a villain changes everything. I think you got to be wearing clothes, don't you use on a plane. That's my rule. I'm with you, man. Close about and he's giving me a face that he's worn sandals on a plane. We've never wear sandals on a plane, even on my way to a vacation spot, but I get why people wear sandals on a plane. I think I've also had my feet swell up and hurt real bad on a plane, so I get why people take their shoes off. We have gotten to a point in society where it's all too loosey-goosey. We shouldn't be having people's feet out anywhere. Close them up. Sandals are for the beach, and even then you can wear sneakers. Here's what you wear at the beach. Sandals? Pass. Did you have even sandals on? No, I took my wore these shoes, and then I took them off. I mean, I have my bare feet on the sand. I'm not a lunatic. I don't even think I did that. Maybe I did. I took them off. I had some slides. I forgot. Also, we're talking like I'm the only one who wore pants, and I'm catching all the flak here for some reason. I wore shorts. You wore pants, I believe. Did he have some? Because I got sunburn on my leg. That's true. You know what that is. You got those sunburned feet. I got sunburned my feet. They still age. I did forget about this. You might want to come with me to the doctor tomorrow. He's not good, but he should look at your feet. Definitely want to look at your feet. Should we do another top story? Yeah, we got another top story. Who's got that one? You want me to look it up? Do look up that one. Because I did not pull that one up, I'll be honest with you. I didn't either, but I could do it. See? Did you get the bigger phone? They don't sell the mini anymore. I wish they did. They don't sell it anymore. They're boxing you out. It's done. They're boxing you out. They're ripping me out. They're ripping me out. They're ripping me out. How'd the ripping me off come up on stage? Well, he just said that people were ripping him off. Dude, I don't even remember how it came up. I forget too. That's just his way of playing his flag in it. Yeah, yeah. Well, he needed a way to sell those ripping the off shirts. How did it come up on stage? I don't know. They're ripping me out. Okay, this is called the empathy punishment. I have not pre-read this. Has anyone pre-read this? You must have told me. You've told me the story. I know details in it. A woman. It's at Chipotle. A woman. Hurled a burrito bowl at a Chipotle employee. All right. Then a judge made her walk in the victim's shoes. So I remember the story now, I don't remember the specifics. We're doing a lot of foot stuff on this now. She goes in this Chipotle and then they make her at, is it a burrito bowl, right? A burrito bowl. And she goes, I don't like the look of this. I don't like the cut of this. And they're like, well, that's everything he asked. And I think part of it was she had very few ingredients. And she said, there's not enough. It looks like shit. I'm not going to eat it. We all been there. And they go, hey, you put more shit in it. This is what you order. That's what you get. Now hit the bricks, sister. They were probably nicer about it. Then she goes to the, she's furious and being a dick. She goes to the car, apparently, allegedly, and shows it to her kid or somebody in the car. And they're like, that's not a lot. You should go there and fight them for whatever they said. She runs back in, gets all pissy, and throws it at the employee. That's right. You get another one. I'm on her side all the way up until she's thrown in. Unacceptable. How are you on her side at all? Because they're not giving you enough stuff most of the time at Chipotle. Oh my God. I get too much stuff. What Alex is saying right now makes so much sense because this happened in Ohio. That's right. Typical. You're coming in here like that fucking Applebee story didn't happen in the end of my man. Everyone's getting shot out here. Yeah. Here's the thing, Chipotle, Internet people, TikTok kids, started filming, hey, hey, they're not putting up shit in here. They're not. They are. Rarely, if you say, hey, can I get a little more, do they say no? But then Chipotle has reacted to that and I believe there's some instructions from up top and they're like load these motherfuckers up. Well, here's the thing. They're getting burrito bowls that are too full now. When you go, hey, yeah, when you're in line, you go, hey, can get a little more. They'll give you a little bit more. But the bigger issue is when you get, you're picking it up, you're not standing in front of them. So you get home, you pop it open, you're like, oh, come on. This time I pick it up and I'm like, it's too much still. They put too much stuff in now. But this lady goes to court and they, you got a judge, which I'm sure the judge is fine, but I don't know that I love this loosey, goosey business with the punishments. It feels like a thing that's passed. It's a bit biblical. I love it. We have more fun judges. Yeah. We need some silly judges. Yeah. You can judge us after doing bits. You know what I mean? Yeah, like if you get an abortion in Texas, they don't send you to death, they just make you be a baby for a week. Like if you go to a small claims court because someone hit your car, you should be able to hit their car with like, there should be like a ramming car. You know what I mean? Like the court has. And then you get to like ram their car with the ramming car, you know? But this lady, they give her, there's some kind of sentence involved. Well, it's a bunch of sentences. That's how an article works. Oh, interesting. It's towards the end of the sentences. Do you have it? I'm trying to find it. It's near the bottom. But I'm part of me thinks there is maybe like time she has to serve in jail and then also she has to put in a certain amount of time as a school. Okay. Here we go. The judge sentenced her to 90 days in prison, but with a chance to shave off 60 days if she spent two months working in a fast food restaurant for at least 20 hours a week. So 20 hours a week at a fast food restaurant, plus she's still doing 30 days in jail. Yeah. That's fucking crazy. That's a lot. Or, or one of those things called where, you know, you put your head and your arms in and then people throw tomatoes at you in the middle of the town square. Do we still do that? I'm saying we bring it back. We bring those back. She threw food at an employee, now we put her in the middle of town square. We throw tomatoes and stuff in her, you know, you don't do enough shaming punish. We don't do enough shame. We should bring back shaming. I guess that's kind of what Twitter became a certain point for a little while, but we should be shaming people in the middle of town. What we need to bring back is town squares. You know what I'm saying? Not enough people are being shamed in the middle of a town square. I got my photo taken in a lot of those things where you got locked in, you know, a lot of vacations in colonial places where I put my head and arms in those. I got a lot of my photo taken where you like stick your head in, but it's like a lady with big boobs. Yeah. Talking about. Those are also great. Similar thing. I think we should be bringing those back. Where'd those go? Big boobs. They're still here. Nah, but like on me, you know, where I put my head into the thing and then I got them. I got a picture of the lady. Oh, there's video of Chipotle. How did you have her throw in the bowl? I think they do, but this is just disgusting burrito bowl. This slop. Yeah. That's what I thought you would have looked like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would say she's a. Well, we know drugs aren't involved. How does she get a dare shirt on? She's 39. Uh, she's a I would say kind of a there's it looks like a I'm going to go Mormon. She's a 39 year old white woman with a very plain look about her and for. But she does look like a lady in videos you've seen yelling at people. Yep. She looks mad. She looks mad. She came in hot. She looks mad. Which I don't know. Here's my move at Chipotle. What I do is I get these build your own taco. Oh, she shoved it in this guy's face. Look at these build your own tacos. It's a kid's meal. This is the guy that complains about not enough food. He's ordering a kid's order a child and they're still not putting enough in it. Okay. So I'm getting his kids meal. They have three compartments and they filled this. Yeah. Children got to eat man. Children are hungry children. They wait. They're smaller beings. They eat less food. You know what's fucked up about the build your own taco? Not putting enough in it is that it's pre measured. You should be filling the slots. They don't even fill the slots. I don't want to get in this right now. But here's the thing. It's a great deal. I think that they shouldn't even sell you the children's menu. Well, so that's what I'm trying to get to. His mora goes because it's a great deal. It's literally I think half the price and you get a good amount of food. But mora at one point she goes, do you think they will take this away? And I was like, I don't think it could ever take it away because how do you know you're not buying it for a kid that's at home or whatever? Yeah. It's a loophole that is. I'm not even doing it. I didn't even do it. You eat it there in the restaurant. Honestly, I did that hours ago. It's not a loophole if you complain about they're not putting enough food in it. It's enough food for a child. Not the way I'm getting it. It's not the way that I'm going to get it. I've seen you and Everett eat them together. She doesn't finish it. It's so much food. Yeah, but she it's because she doesn't want half of it. She only wants part of it because she can't get all of it as that. That's what's happening there. You know he does? He scoops it in the little compartment and makes his own little cheap burrito bowl. Yeah. It's a great system. Don't come at me because I've fixed the problem of Chipotle and they're trying to take me down. They're fighting back by not giving me. I think they know you're an adult ordering it. No. I'm not. Look, this place is like if we keep doing this at some point he'll order a big deal. Big boy meal. Can I tell you this has come up before and you're on record to tell me it's a good hack. So I don't play both sides. I don't think we bring up non podcast conversations on here. It's a good hack. All I want is what I ordered. And what I ordered is you to fill up these three little spots, give me my chocolate milk and my 90 bag of chips and then I will be on my way. Yeah. This is very similar to the lady from the stories argument. I read the whole thing. So she only wanted four things in her burrito bowl and it wasn't all the way full, but it wasn't all the way full because only four things isn't enough to fill the bowl. But I'm not asking you to fill the bowl. She went back. You're asking them to fill the slots, which is the same as these slots and imagine them not being full. Here's the thing about these slots is if you filled with those slots with black beans, which I know you sometimes get and you definitely get pinto beans, it's too much. They're giving you the right amount of beans. I'm not getting double beans. I'm getting brown rice. I'm getting pinto beans and I'm getting steak. Okay. Then I get two soft tortillas. I get a tiny bag of chips and I get that chocolate milk and it's a great meal unless you don't give me enough. The chocolate milk is great. I've been drinking the chocolate milk after runs. It's a huge. Yeah. It's a huge windfall. Well, just it's good for you, but I'm the one that has to open your straw for you. Yeah. Well, and can I tell you, I'm pretty tired when I get that run and I appreciate what you're doing for me. I really appreciate it. They give you the choice of white milk. What kid out there is just getting white milk and a carton. You ever seen that in all your days? I don't know that there's. I drink white milk when I was a kid. You drink white milk. It tickles my, it tickles my fancy. I'll just like look and are being the kid and everyone's kind of pops in, push yourself a big glass of milk in the middle and like not in the middle, like but at nighttime and just drinks it. And I'm like, I don't think that I remember doing that. I drink a lot of milk. Because when we, when we just dinner, it was always like, do you want water or milk? I don't even want any water. Get your water in milk. Yeah. Tell me from Indiana without tell me from Indiana. Yeah. I think it was common. Milk with it. Milk with dinner. Yeah. It sounds like you're 75 years old. People just used to do it all the time. They used to do a lot of stuff. My dad would drink buttermilk and salt it. That is strange. That is a strange guy thing. It sounds like what you got living in there is a tiny little Santa Claus, a glass of milk. Nice cold milk. Leave some cookie crumbs. Yeah. What's the last time you dipped a cookie in milk? I dipped an Oreo in a non-dairy milk in the last three months and I'm telling you, I would be in trouble. If we just had Oreos here, I'd be in trouble. It's crazy how much better an Oreo is when you dip it in milk than it is when you just eat that sucker dry. Really wild. You got a raw dog, a marshmallow too. I never even thought about dipping those in milk. Dip in marshmallows in milk? No, I'm saying raw, just straight marshmallows. I'm just talking treats here. Yeah, I'll do that. Let's get some marshmallows. I'll do that, dude. Dude, we went to that place will go hotel with the pools by the ocean right before school starts. We went there in one of the restaurants sells a s'mores kit and these kids are like, "Great, we'll get the s'mores kit." It comes. It's prepackaged. As soon as I look at it, I'm like, "No, boy." The kids are fine, but you pull it out and it's just non-branded, literally non-branded, just chocolate in a wrapper and marshmallows that don't have any name on them. Then we put them on there. You get those things. Harper's had hers straight on fire. I roasted mine perfectly like always. You put it on to the chocolate and the s'more, it does not melt. It doesn't lose its form at any point. It's government chocolate. It's great. No, the marshmallow. Oh, the marshmallow. The marshmallow. You squeeze it down. It never got to a gooey phase. It always was solid. You don't want to eat that. Don't put that in your body. It's wild. If fire can't digest it, you're certainly not doing any of your shits since we left. It's just, you guys, you're corked up, dude. Well, that is crazy. Wendy, you got any tour dates coming up? You want to tell the people you got? I got some tour dates. I had a laugh of the week, too. I forgot. Oh, shit. You don't get any laugh of the week? I had one. I had one. I just have a second to think about it. I'm going to remember what it was. Oh, I remember. You were hanging out with Andy. You were hanging out with Andy. I was probably a week. Well, it might have been from my set. The interior, we're going for a walk today, and we're just having some chat. We're chatting, and she was doing, "Would you rather?" She said, "At a regular voice, would you rather live at the beach or live a 30-minute walk from the beach?" But if you live at the beach, you never get another blowjob. Just at a regular voice. We walk by a yard that has a hedge that I'm tall enough to see over, and she is not tall enough to see over. And there was a lady sitting in the yard, and she gives me a smile on one of the eats. You know what to do? Would you pick? It's tough being tiny out there. I'd pick the beach. I'll live at the beach. No more blowjobs. Was she insulted by your ability? Was she insulted? You're saying, "I don't care if you ever blow me again." No, no. I was like, "It's hard for me to imagine a life where I'm not getting blowjobs." That's just fulfilled, great. I'm just out here killing it. But also, you can cut blowjobs out of the game. You're living at the beach, and you can still have sex. Yeah, there's other stuff. Just thinking about how many more hand jobs do you guys try to get? Yeah. And it's the reason if you live at the beach, you don't get blowjobs, because they don't want sand in their mouth. Okay. Here's my lab of the week, and I just remember while Andy was talking, is it? Andy's whole set, which is great, comes together beautifully and ends on a callback. And so Andy gets to the end of his set. He's about to get off stage, and he's about to say the line and realizes in that moment that he forgot to do the bit that sets up the callback, has to figure out how to get out of it, and made me laugh, and the only thing that could have made me laugh harder is if he would have actually done it. And I've just been met with just pure, real nightmare scenario. We all been there like, "Oh, I'm about to do a callback to a joke that I did not do." Rarely is it to end the whole set and just mount it up a few good nights. I acknowledged what I did, and then I contemplated doing it. But at this club, they do a countdown clock, which is nice, but also stresses me out once the countdown's over, and it starts counting up again. I'm like, every second that goes by, I think they're getting matter at me. Really bad? I'm being off stage. No. Nobody said anything to me. So I think I maybe did an old joke. You did a different bit, yeah. Yeah. But wow. Just dismounted. Wow, were you killed in the green joke? Really? My lap of the week, I'll tell you here, real quick, is a specific thing is, I think I've told you, I got a little eight-year-old in there that is eight years old, real into the Simpsons right now. And she's gone through, she watched a bunch of the new episodes, then she went to, she was watching the best side show Bob episodes. She watched the movie, yeah. She's watched the movie. So then she's like, "What are the funniest episodes of the Simpsons?" So I Google funniest episodes of the Simpsons. And I just pop up, there's a variety article from, you know, 2021, and it had the list of funniest, 30 funniest Simpsons episodes. I go down to number one of what Variety said is the funniest Simpsons. You start with 30? She's going to ask for more, I want to start it lower than number one. No, we're going to work up. They're all funny. So we started, I started at number one and I'm like, "You know what, let's start there because I don't know, maybe this is bullshit." And the episode is Homer at the Bat, season three, episode 17. And it's the funniest episode of the Simpsons I've ever seen. There are so many moments that are laugh out loud, great jokes in that episode. It's a fucking, it's a pod wreck, it's a laugh of the week. There's one particular moment that I can't even say because it's just not going to land, but it would ruin the bit. But just watch that episode, it fucking is so funny, season three, episode 17, Homer at the Bat. All right. Look, I'll check it out. I'll check it out. Andy, write it down. Episode 17. Got it. It takes me when you watch it. I'm going to watch it. Now, we've watched it three times the left. I still left. It's great. Look, I'm going to watch it. I'm going to be in, what are you going to say? I'm going to say as I'm wrong, I'm as unfamiliar with the Simpsons as I am with the Seinfeld. This guy. Another show I wasn't like, watch. I wasn't allowed to watch them. My whole chance, though. Do you haven't lived at home for 25 years? I'm not allowed. Well, these two are dates, well, these two are dates in. I'm going to be at ACME in Minneapolis this weekend. In fact, I'm there tonight. Come on out. I'm going to be in Vegas next week and I'll be in Lul the second week of September. All right. Keep listening. See you.