The Manic Candice Podcast
Are You Being Used?
Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the Manic Candice podcast. Did you go Candice? Back at it again with a brand new episode of the podcast and today. This morning, this evening, this afternoon, this good night. We're going to discuss signs that you're being used. Take a swig of my mosquito. We're turning up early in the morning. It is currently 9.40am in Phoenix, Arizona, downtown Phoenix, Arizona. I want to start doing video podcasts and Spotify allows it and they're offering monetization and all types of shit. So you will see my face here soon enough. I bought like $400 worth of video taping shit on T-Moo. Let's see how that works out. Um, but how have you guys been? I've been okay. I've been, you know, adjusting, seriously, to like living on my own, opposed to living with my family. It's so different and I'm lonely. And I realize that I'm starting to use people to fill that hole in myself. So we're going to talk about when you use people and when you are being used. So let's first talk about signs that you are being used. This goes for everybody, honestly. Men, women, gay, straight, bi, in between, we use each other for sex. We use each other for our bodies. We use each other for power. We use each other for all types of shit. And I've, honestly, you guys, I've done it. I've been manipulative. I've been, I mean, it's not right that I, just because I can admit things just doesn't make it right. So, a sign that you're being used is that everything is always one-sided. You're always texting them. You feel like no matter what you say, you can't get them to stimulate a conversation. It's always dry. It's always, and this goes to my main point at all, is you just feel it. You just feel like you're being used for money, for sex, for attention, for clout, for power. I think that ties into clout and attention is using people that way. Depending on what you're being used for, the signs can look very differently. It can look very different. Number one is that they ignore your boundaries. Let's say that someone, you're a wealthy person and someone is, like, asking you for stuff. But that clearly is, like, one of your boundaries that you don't buy people things, like on the first date or the second date, that could be a sign. But not everybody has money like that to be used for, so that's not very common. What's common is being used for sex. Like I said, I've been lonely and I've been using men to fill that void lately. I'm texting guys, like, "Hey, come over." Being a good hostess and just, like, cuddling, talking, kissing, having sex, and it's like, never talk to them again. And it's like, I need a new person to, like, and it's like, you don't want to go back to, like, the same two people or three people because it starts a relationship. I don't know how I got this way. I think my attempts on being cold, I feel like, can we talk about this for a second? I feel like me being played so much in my life, like, the past, like, 10 years I've been dating. I feel like I have become the player. I feel like I have adopted players antics, players' tendencies. I think like a player. What do I mean by that? Like, I think, I think it's very, I think it's very sexually. I think, I think of men as a sexual object and nothing more. I don't think men can do things for me. In this day and age, I get a lot of promises. I get a lot of, I can do this for you. Or, once I get my money up, I'm gonna do this for you. I get that a lot. And I've seen nothing. So, like, I don't depend on men for anything. Like, I am my grandmother's dream. My grandmother had an arranged marriage. My mother's marriage was, she was being used. And that's my opinion. And, like, I, I'm their dream. I'm, you know, I'm not married. I'm not tied down to no man, and I am not dependent on any man. Sometimes I ask myself, like, do you feel like you're missing out on a family, on a relationship, on kids, on all that? Like, love. And I'm like, look. This idea of love and romance is tied together in my head. And romance is a tool used to be used to gain access into women's pants, to be honest. So, romance doesn't reflect love, or what we think true love is. True love, what we think it is, like, from Disney Channel and, like, all that shit. It doesn't exist because you can love someone that way, but, like, life happens. Like, you know, there's so many things that could happen. I don't want to get all into that, but it's just, I say all that to say that, like, I'm not dependent on a man for anything. And that's my grandmother's dream, you know, to have independence, to have her money. She has all that now, but it's, she's 70. You know, I'm 29. My grandma didn't have a 20s. She didn't have a 30s. You know, I think about traditional wives a lot, like, Nara Smith, who make everything from scratch, who can birth as many kids as possible. Like, ask myself, like, do you think you're missing out on that type of shit? Like, do you think your life is lower quality? Like, do you feel a loss? And, like, to be honest, you guys, they don't right now. And I say right now because I'm not 45 and single. I'm 29 and single. I have a bottle of wine in my hand. I could go anywhere. I could go anywhere. I don't know why I don't go anywhere. It's just, I'd rather heal. I spend a lot of time healing. Like, on the weekends, I just post up and I, like, do the podcast. I run errands and I just heal. And what that looks like is, like, laying in bed. I'm not depressed. Like, I just... I'm healing from childhood trauma, from my dreams not coming true. Like, what are those dreams? Like, not being a lawyer. That was one of my biggest dreams, you guys. And, like, small ones, like, being famous, being a pop star, being an influencer, like, she's like that. And, like, I'm really happy with what I ended up with, the podcast platform, the Man in Candice podcast. Like, I'm really, really happy with them. Happy with my audience. I'm happy with the episodes. I'm happy with how I'm able to connect with people throughout the entire world, and the entire Earth. And I want to say the entire universe, because all I do is sit in my room, and I play music, and I talk to you. And it's very simple, but it's very... Like, wow, I can reach people in Africa, I can reach people in Australia, I can reach people in Canada, I can reach people in Hawaii, I can reach people in fucking China, Taiwan, the Middle East. It's crazy to think that. And some of those countries, I'm charting episodes are, like, charting in the top 200 podcasts in the entire country, and I'm just like, "Oh, my God." So, I say that to say, if you want to start a podcast, if you want to start a YouTube channel, if you want to do any of that shit, do it. Back to the designs of are you being used? I want to go with it back to boundaries. A lot of us, we have sexual boundaries. I personally, I don't have that many, but, like, I have them for people that I don't find attractive. Like, if someone that I don't find attractive is like coming over, it's business only. It's like, we're hanging out, and it's business only. There's no innuendos, there's no touching, there's no jokes. But if someone that you're not interested in, or you aren't interested in, but you have, like, a no-sexual, or you have your celibate, and they want to fuck, or they want to, like, touch you, or they want to, like, move forward physically or over the phone, like, they say something weird, like, you clearly said you're absent, or you're not fucking, or you don't want to fuck the first night, and they just, or they do something like, "I want to fuck raw." And that's a clear boundary, like, you don't want to fuck raw, like, you want to use a condom. It's just shit like that, like, going beyond, like, you're being used. And like I said earlier, you feel it, everything is one-sided. Girls can relate to this, but I feel like guys, what it looks like for y'all, is like, you get used a lot for your money. I feel like men these days have an unfair, um, they have a disadvantage in the dating pool. It's like you have to, it's almost like you have to make $100,000 to date. It's almost like, and in a man's mind, if that is a standard, why would he want to date? Why would y'all want to date if, like, all these women are expecting you to make $100,000 in year 23? I don't know any 23-year-old, unless you're like a tech genius, finance genius. I don't know any 23-year-old that is making six figures. When I was 23, I just graduated college. Sometimes when you're 23, you're just going to school. It's not fair. I feel like men just say fuck it. I rather play games and fuck 10 bitches a day and talk to five bitches at once because I can't live up to the standard of being a real men. Men want to be men. Is that so hard to understand? If society is saying, like, men need to make this amount of money, men need to look this way, need to be fit, they need to be rich, they need to be attractive. If they're not attractive, then they definitely need to have money. It's a tricky message because when you flip it on women and you ask us why you want men to make this much money, it's because oftentimes we get left with a child. That's the reality. And that's a good sign to know that you're being used is like if you got pregnant and the person you were like fucking or you got pregnant by, sorry to be so, like, curse wordy. I don't know how to, I don't know how to word that, but like, I'm drinking. So like, so fucking, fuck it. If your baby daddy or your baby mama is just not present, you were being used. And sometimes in these type of relationships where there's no commitment, but there's a child involved and there's co-parenting involved, because not everybody co-parents, some guys or some moms, they just leave someone with the child. And that's how you get single dads and single moms. But if there's co-parenting involved, like, there's this weird relationship, baby mama, baby daddy, and it's just so fucking weird. Like, it's almost like you have access to that person anytime you want for the rest of your life. That's how men think, like, oh, that's my baby mom's, I can fuck my baby mom's, it doesn't count. What? What? And they'll leverage the child in between for stupid chili, I need money. They'll leverage sex and they'll leverage the child. You can't see your child, or we can't fuck, or if we're not fucking, I'm not paying child support. Like, that's how the dynamics are. And like, you know, I thank God. I thank God that I never have been pregnant and I don't have these problems. I don't have these foreseeable problems, I don't have these problems. I don't have these fucking problems. And I thank God for that, because there's so many women, there's so many women that, like, are single with kids, with a kid, with a dead beat, baby daddy. You know, I could only imagine how different my life would have been growing up if my dad was in my life. My dad wasn't in my life, for those of you who don't know, those who have been listening for a while, my dad is not in my life. He used my mother for sex, for looks. My mom was exotic, well she is exotic, but like, she, back in the day when she was like 22, her hair was down to her ass. Like, she was fine, and it was permed, and like, it was like, it was very nice. My mom was very pretty, she is very pretty, I don't know why I say it was. But he saw her, black guy, you know, and was like, I gotta have that, I don't know what she is, she's exotic, I don't know if she's foreign, blah blah blah. My mom is very domestic, she's Navajo. So I fucking, I could just imagine, like, the place in his mind, and then he gets her pregnant. Oops, I was like, I had for a long time, I thought I was an Oops baby, but I met my dad, and then my, and my mom, they both told me a separate time, so like, I was conceived out of love. So like, I really appreciate that, because like, I, sometimes, it's hard not to feel like an Oops baby, like a fuck up baby, like, cause like, he wasn't taking my mom serious. So I question that, like, was I conceived out of love, because like, even though it feels good to know if they set that on separate occasions, both independently, like, I wonder, like, do you really love someone if you're playing on them? That's what he was doing, he was playing on her. I feel like I've just been protected, I don't think I do anything special to not be pregnant, to not never have been pregnant, to never to come to a conclusion in my life, for those of you who don't know, I don't want kids. So it's like, I don't know what makes me different, other than like, divine protection, cause like, I've condoms don't work 100% of the time, I know people who've gotten pregnant off of condoms. I'm not in birth control, cause that shit makes me crazy, er, and sometimes when I fuck raw, I mean, I don't like these guys nutting me, but like, it only takes one sperm cell, it takes one little guy, just one. And if I'm ready, you know, if I got an egg in there, you know, I could get pregnant, and like, my life could change, like, I hear women talk about how much they lost once they had kids. Like, I hear women talk about, I don't have my independence, I don't have my me time, I don't have time to do this, I just don't have time, like, I don't have time for anything. Like, everything is about my child, and I'm just like, I can't do that. I can't do that. And call me selfish, yes, that is very selfish. Okay, so what? So fucking what? I want to live my life for me, and nobody else, not a child, not a man, and like, sometimes not even a God. You know, I've been placed here, I didn't ask to be here, I didn't ask to be here, I did not fucking ask to be here, earth, reality, whatever the fuck you want to call it, I didn't ask to be here. Life is hard. I mean, but it's, I can see the blessings within it. You know, I can see the help, I can see where I've been protected, I can see all that shit. And I appreciate it. Another sign you're being used over, after all over the place of the day, is you barely get any fucking communication, like, this month I was used for sex. And like, how that, how that, how that came about was that once I realized that after we had sex, the communication was broken, 100%. I was like, oh, you pretended, you pretended, you used me to have sex, you just pretended to like me so I could come over when in reality, he didn't have to pretend to like me, so I could come over. He just said, do you want to hook up, I would have said yes. But no, here he comes with like three weeks of like talking to me, prepping me up. Like, oh, good morning. What are you doing today? Oh, that's cool. Happy birthday to your grandmother. Yeah, he said like, he was, and when I was with him in person, kisses on the neck, kisses on the neck. Kisses on the forehead, kisses on the hair. Holding my hand, kisses on the shoulder. Ladies, you know when men do that, it's like extra special, so it's like, oh, that's what I thought it was, so apparently it's not, and remember that. So fucking, you don't have to do all that. To sleep with me, like, what? And the reason why the bar was so low for him, it's low for him, because he was fine. He's still fine, but he is fine. He's like a 10, but he's a zero because his breath stunk. Like, it stunks so bad. I can tell he doesn't floss. Like, I don't think it's his teeth because when he smiles, I just, you know, I see, I see like, a shine. But like, I think it's in between his teeth, where he's got rotten food and hardened plaque, in between his teeth, and it's fucking up his breath. I was very turned off by it, that sex was bad because his breath stunk, so I couldn't, like, make out with him while we were having sex, and I like doing that. And number two, it hurt. It hurt. It really did. He got, he has a big dick. It hurt, and like, that was the first time I took a dick like that in a long time, and like, I had, like, it hurt, and like, I wasn't ready. And it hurt, and it was bad. And I have had sex with him in two years, so I had high, high, high expectations. 'Cause the last time he put a dick, he put it down. Like, do you hear me? Like, he put it down. Like, and this time, he was very selfish. I was thinking when it's all about it, got to get shawty, tell him what the young boy gone do. Gotta be a kid, say what it fit into, into, into, into, tell me what y'all gone do. I got friends and you got friends. We hop up and you hop in. I look flat and they're jacking. The way to drop, drop makes me want to hop up. I got friends and you got friends, hey. On the flow, if he ain't, let me know. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I think I'm drunk. I think I'm drunk, drunk in love, I want you. We woke up in the kitchen singing "How the hell did this shit happen?" Oh, baby. Drunk in love, we be all night. Come on now. ♪♪ I'm out of a scotto. I've been drinking. I've been drinking. Just kidding. We're not going to. I'm not going to torture you guys. I'm not going to torture you guys. ♪♪ You know this was future song and she bought it from him before he could release it. Been like an animal with these cameras all in my real flashing lights, flashing lights. ♪♪ Remember when this shit came out? We were dying. We were dying. I was on the couch dying. I was like, there's no fucking way she just dropped an entire album with no notice, with no promotion. It was ready to buy. It was ready to stream all the videos. We were like, oh my God. And she's been gone for so long before then. So like to come out and to come back with this was the best and biggest comeback ever in marketing history. ♪♪ We be all night. And everything's all right. No complaints from my vibe. So far rest under these lines. Boy, I'm drinking. Walk in my last and middle lip. ♪♪ I stopped being like a big Beyonce fan when I found out she was tied up in Epstein, surfboard. Rainy, raining on that wood. I'm swerving on it. Swerving on it. Big by the bit, surfing on it, surfing on it is good, good. So it's like, I stopped like being so like, ah, cause I almost paid 10 grand for the Red Cross concert on a scam, on a stub hub scam. Ooh, but anyways, um... ♪♪ I've seen Beyonce like, seven times. Like the amount of times I've seen him and Villevala, I've seen Beyonce. We be all night. So, back to that story with that boy that I asked sex with. He stopped talking to me. And that's the number one sign you know that you're being used is that after sex, they stopped talking to you. ♪♪ Let me open this to Croix, cause like, I need to not be drunk. I'm on my lunch break. Like... ♪♪ Is that a sign of a high functioning addict? Like you just do shit on your lunch break? ♪♪ Like drink. And then drink sparkling water to like, not be so drunk. I'm not drunk. ♪♪ I'm a little tipsy. I'm just loose. You know, I got a candle burning. I had a nightmare last night that I was scream and scream was stabbing me. I have reoccurring nightmares. It's like weird. Thank you for listening for the month of August. Thank you for the downloads for the month of August. Thank you for everything. Never time. ♪♪ I'm not for real, think I'm in the studio. Like, I'm for real... Like, I wonder what Beyoncé drinks for her to get out these notes, cause you know he got to be drunk. You know he got to be drunk just a little bit. Just a little bit. Not a lot. ♪♪ Oh my God, I almost burped. So... ♪♪ If you know or if you feel like you're being used for money, sex, clout, you probably are. ♪♪ You know. And it's like, instead of, it's not about being used, it's about what are you going to do about it. ♪♪ Cut the cord. Cut the cord. If you need to burn a candle or you need to, like, write his name in your name and, like, cut it on a piece of paper and then burn it. Like, do it. Like, I don't need to do that, but, like, I just got to cut the cord. Like, every time you have a thought, every time you have a, like, if there's someone you're missing and they don't want you back cause they were using you for sex money or clout, like... ♪♪ Or drugs, they're using you for drugs. People use people for drugs. Like... ♪♪ Just stop thinking about them. Cut the cord. If the longer you think about someone that don't want you, the longer you give them power. Like, it, like, it takes energy to think about someone. Think about that. It takes a lot of fucking energy to think about someone. If you're obsessed over someone, how, it was the last time you've been, you really liked someone. You had a crush on someone. Every day you thought about them, as soon as you woke up. Like, during the day, during the hard day, kept you smiling, but, like, they don't want you back cause you tried. And you know that. Or you had sex with them and they stopped talking to you and you know that. And you're still giving them, like, that energy is being transferred to them. To them. ♪♪ They're not taking extra naps like you. They're not downing the coffee like you cause your energy is being sent to that other person, so stop thinking. Literally. ♪♪ And one more sign before we go. They only respond quickly when they want something. Think about what you have. Money, pussy, a thousand followers, ten thousand followers. Think about what you have. Drugs. Like, think about what you fucking have to give. And are people hitting you up? Do you feel like they're using you? Do you feel used? After you get someone what they want, do they respond quickly? Do they keep responding or they respond at all? When someone, when you really need someone, when it's your birthday, who hits you up? When you get in a car accident and you're unconscious, who's at the hospital for you? You gotta ask yourself these questions. You gotta reevaluate who's in your life. Every two to three years, reevaluate who's in your life and for what reason. We just got through a mercury retrograde, okay, and it was quite insane. I don't know about you, but for me it was like, every day I was crying. Every day I was crying. I think the 29th is the last day, but like, the transition out of it started on the 24th. So, it's Monday. Let's get through the work week. Successfully, let's not call out. Let's not take a nap during the day when we're supposed to be working, you know, me. But like, work hard and work good. Earn that money. Don't let it earn you. Okay, that was stupid. Thank you for listening to the Amanda Candace podcast. Did you go Candace? Back at it again. Good morning, good evening, good afternoon, good night. Wherever you're listening, my friends, and I bid you a do me some news. Bye-bye. [BLANK_AUDIO]