The Jordan Syatt Podcast

All the Advice I WISH I Could Give My Younger Self...

In this episode of The Jordan Syatt Mini-Podcast, I shoot the breeze with my podcast producer, Tony and discuss all the advice I wish I could tell my younger self.

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Duration:: 56m
Broadcast on:: 01 Sep 2024
Audio Format:: mp3

[Music] Antonio, what's up brother? Good morning. How are you doing? What's your word of the day? My word of the day is Bateria. Bateria, what's that? Can you guess? Bathroom? No, banyo, banyo's bathroom. Yeah, you know banyo. You said banyo on day one, dude. Oh, battery, I'm an idiot, battery. So, I know that word to mean drums, like a drum set. Oh, interesting. I guess in some places you would say that for battery, but I've always heard it as be less. So, it was kind of, I was trying to trick you, but then I realized that there is some, somewhere in the Spanish-speaking world, they do say Bateria's, but not in Peru. Okay, okay. So, Bateria in Peru is drums. And it means drums in most places. Oh, got it, got it, okay. Like specifically the drum set, you know, like rock and roll Bateria. Dude, I like it. I like that. Let's go, Bateria. Do you play the drums? I got a drum set, like, I don't know, four months ago, and I've been banging on them. Is it your first drum set ever? Do you have a drum set as a kid? Yeah, no, this is my first drum set. Oh, what made you decide to get a drum set? So, I've built out this kind of like basement studio setup with the goal of being able to, like, the chord bands. And so, one way to make that easier for myself and for bands is to have a drum set in-house. And then, you know, it's just like fun to jam with people and stuff. And man, when I got it, I didn't realize how much fun it was. Like, I played around like piano, guitar, bass, but like, drums is so immediate and tactile and just like, I don't know, primal. I'm assuming it helps that you can read music because then you could just jump right into it. But like, is that accurate or no? Sort of, like, if you were to look at the sheet music, there are notations for like, this is the kick, this is the snare and then timing. So, like, this is a whole note, this is a half note, this is a quarter note, this is an eighth note. So, yeah, I guess so, but, you know, I could imagine not having ever played piano or anything. And, you know, really, you're just looking at subdivisions of time. So, it's like, how many of these within a measure? So, anyways, I feel like it's not giving me that much of an edge. But, got it, got it. Well, I'll tell you this, I think it's giving you more of an edge than you think because literally none of the words you said I understand none, not one. Measures, whole notes, half notes, nope, I know none of it. I only remember learning music on a recorder and like fourth grade. Like, and it's like, hot cross buns. Like, that's, and I did play the trombone in third grade. Well, the trombone, that's like a, that's a really cool instrument. Yeah, I mean, my, my dad hated it. But, like, they, we were required to play an instrument in third grade. Right. And so, they brought in all these different instruments and the guy did with the trombone. And he went, and I was like, all right, that's it, that's, that's my instrument. Yeah, you can't do that with a lot of other instruments. No, you can't. And, and, you know, I'm short as an adult. As a kid, I was, you know, very short too. And I couldn't hit the last, like, notes. Oh, like, your arm wasn't, you know? Yeah, my arm wasn't long enough, dude. And so, but, you know, I would bring it home and I would practice and... Dude, my dad got so mad. Just like, he's like, go outside, practice outside. But, yeah, that was, that was like the one instrument I really did try. But it did not last long. So, so, so, let's say your daughter or one of your daughters takes up an instrument at a very young age. Mm-hmm. What's the instrument you'd be most afraid of them playing all the time in your house? Like, would the trombone really great on you? No, I think, no, first, like, whatever, it's, it's one of those things that happened to me as a kid. So, I would be, go over the top to not, like, be... I would never make them feel guilty about it, you know? Just 'cause, like, I know how, like, I don't appreciate that. But, really, probably the bagpipes realistically. Mm-hmm. Like, an answer. That's a solid answer. [laughter] Yeah! [laughter] That would be the one where I'd be like, "Okay, I'm like, you can't be in here and I'm doing a podcast." [laughter] If you go anywhere else, you're just not in here. Yeah. Yeah, man. All right. So, it's actually cool 'cause, uh, my daughter out of nowhere, like, she's talking, like, crazy. Nice. Just, dude. Great. Like, everything. And it takes just one, you say it once and she says it. Mm-hmm. Like, she knows it and she says it. There have been some really close calls. Like, I thought she was saying, "Fuck." But she was saying, "Fork." And, you know... I don't give a fork. Yeah. She's like, "Fuck. Fuck." And I was like, "What'd you say?" And I was like, "Oh, man, I've really got a..." Are you guys, like, careful about that around her or not so much? You know, it's funny. Like, people, like, listen, I swear when I talk, for sure. But also, we have to remember, when I'm talking on social media, I'm talking about something I'm really passionate about. Mm-hmm. Right? And so, sometimes the swears will come out just because I'm really passionate about it. When I'm talking to my daughter about, like, "Hey, are you drinking your water?" I'm not passionate about, like... Right. Are you fucking drinking? You know what I mean? So, the swears don't come out nearly as much in normal, non-passionate discussion. On social media, or even on the podcast, when I'm really passionate about something, it'll come out. I rarely swear in front of her, and not because I'm actively trying not to, but because I'm just not in, like, a overly aggressive and passionate discussion. Yeah, amped up about something. Exactly. So, I'm not like, "You're so fucking sweet." I'm like, "No, like, you're such a sweetheart type thing." So, she doesn't really hear many swears. But I was definitely taken aback when she said fork, and I thought she said fuck. And she kept pointing at you. I was like, "What do you want?" But I'll say, "Show me," and then she'll point, which is crazy. So, then she pointed at the fork. I was like, "Oh," you said fork. Okay. But, so she's saying everything. So, now, and I haven't really been speaking Hebrew with her or to her very much. But in the last, in the last probably, I don't know, three weeks, because she's really started to pick up everything in English, I've started speaking her in Hebrew. And now she, it's so crazy because if I speak to her in English, she will respond in English. If I speak to her in Hebrew, she will respond in Hebrew. She's not even cool. Oh, that's cool. And she knows. Yeah. It's a style that we've switched. Yeah. We've switched. And it's really crazy. Like, if I ask her, "Are you ready in English?" So, she'll say, "Yeah," or, "Yes." If I say, "Are you ready in Hebrew?" "Atumohana." Yes. Ken. Ken. Atumohana. Ken. Atumohana. And you pick that up. Super, yeah. That's it. That's true of the day. Atumohana. It's like, that's for a girl. Like, atumohana. But yeah. So, she immediately knows it. It's absolutely incredible to watch. I think this is like one of the, this is the greatest joy of my life. And it's so funny because it's just watching another human learning how to become a human. That's all it is. And it's just so joyous. It's the most amazing thing to watch. It's really incredible. Yeah. That's awesome, man. Yeah. As a, as a little diatribe, I thought it would be a good SNL skit when you were telling me about like, you only swear when you're online essentially. It would be really good SNL skit if it was just like a bunch of like, really, like, nice, proper, like, kind people. And then like, you see their comments and they're like, "Fuck you, Dara." And like, just like going back and forth between their like, day-to-day life and then their like, comment warrior life, I think. Yeah. Yeah. I swear like with my friends or like, you know, if I'm just having a conversation where I'm more passionate about it, but literally there's nothing going on with my daughter yet that I'm like passionately swearing. You know what I mean? It's like, "Oh, you want more milk? Okay. I can't get you more milk, sweetie." I'm not going to be like, "Oh, you want more fucking milk? I'll get you more fucking milk." I got a new fucking egg. Yeah. Yeah. Think of bombs, yeah, no, we're, yeah, it's just, there's nothing going on where I'm swearing really in front of her. But I'm sure as she gets older and, you know, probably as she becomes more of a teenager, like, and as we're having real discussions around things that we're passionate about, I'm sure it'll come out and I won't really hide it, especially, especially the teenager. But at two years old, almost, there's no reason for me to randomly be swearing. It's just, it doesn't naturally come out. When I do it on social media, it's natural. When I do it in a conversation with a friend, it's natural. When I'm talking to my two-year-old daughter, it's natural for me not to swear. It's just whatever feels natural. Yeah. That makes sense to me. What's on the docket for today, brother? So we got a lightning round question last time. And you were like, "There's no way this is just a lightning round. We should do an episode." And the question was basically like, "If you could go back in time to your younger self, what advice would you give to your younger self?" And I thought a fun way to kind of make a game of it was basically just kind of like identify the different eras of Jordan from a year into now. If we could just put you in a time machine and send you back, you could only tell your young self one thing and we can keep it closer to health and fitness. But I think if it really inspires you and there's something outside of that life advice, I think that would be worth talking about, too. I mean, what we could do with it, I want to hear your thoughts on this. I love that we do this. I like that we brainstorm on the podcast, just I feel like it's more real. We could split it up into fitness advice and then business advice and then relationship advice. So if I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, fitness-wise, what would it be? If I could go back and tell my younger self, business-wise, what would it be? If I could go back and tell my younger self relationship-wise, what would it be? If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, just overall general life advice, what would it be? That might be a cool way to split it up rather than just being one topic. Yeah, that works for me. Are you cool with that? I'm very cool with that. Sababa. Sababa Igozim, let's go. So Igozim, what's that mean? It's like nuts. So it's like, you know, cool beans, it's like the, it's like... Nice. Sababa Igozim, like cool nuts. That's awesome. So and help me with the category, but I was going to start by going back to grade school Jordan. Okay. Cool. And there's kind of a range there. So I'm going to let you pick like before you get to high school, if there was like a year of your life where it's like, yeah, future Jordan should come here and tell me something. What would you tell grade school Jordan? It's so funny. This is going to be a little tangent, but we were literally, my wife and I were, every morning we do a walk and we were just on a walk with our daughter. That's why I pushed it back a little bit. Nice. The podcast this morning. And I did this thing where she brought up school and I made a face and a noise where I was like, and my wife went, she was like, you can't do that. And I was like, and I didn't even realize that I had done it. And she was like, I was like, what? And she was like, if you show that you don't like school, then she's not going to like school. She's going to have a bad potential relationship with it. Who knows? Oh my God. I'm so glad you said that because I had really, I did not like school from the perspective of the actual schooling part. I loved it from the social aspect. I loved it from screwing around, having fun, being a class clown, the athletics. I love that. The actual schooling part, the way that not all, but most of the teachers, the way that the system ran, it was not good for me at all. And so I, I harbor a lot of anger and disdain and resentment towards the school system. And we were talking about this on the walk, how many people and teachers have messaged me after I've spoken about it saying, number one, they're sorry, I went through that even though they don't have a reason to be sorry, but they're very kind. I'm sorry you went through that things have changed a lot since I was in school, especially in regard to being in special education. So either way, it's something I need to be very cognizant of because my immediate reaction when I hear school is like my immediate gut reaction is bad. It's like, it's nauseous, it's bad. It's difficult for me to talk about it without getting upset because I had such a bad experience with it. And I understand that was just mine. It wasn't everyone's. I need it. I need to not let that seep into how I communicate that with my daughter or any of my children best or out to chem, so anyway, you want me to pick an age before high school or like? Yeah, I think like a grade school time, maybe a time that jumps out where it was like you could have used some good advice from your future self. Yeah, I mean, I'll say anywhere in middle school, which is anywhere between like six to eighth grade and anywhere between like 12 to 12 to 14 years old, I think it's a good, a good range. Okay, so middle school, and this is for like life advice or? Well, yeah, because I mean, I don't know how much you were doing, we're thinking about health and fitness other than playing, you know, I don't know how much you were dating at the time. So I guess that's when you, it's when you met your wife. Well, technically, yeah, I did meet her in sixth grade. Wow. Yeah. We met in sixth grade. So you might want to say some things on that. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, you know, it's funny here. I'll say this. This is actually a great piece of advice. And ironically, my mom gave me this advice when I was really young, but I didn't get it. My mom said to me when I was really young, basically to the effect of it's a very small world, and you have no idea who you know now, who you're going to know later in life. And basically, the things you do now will affect how people think about you and feel about you later in life. And so it was one of those things where I think about this. I think about like Bill Gates, or I think about like Mark Zuckerberg, someone who might have been picked on in school and who was bullied. And then they just grow up to be this absolute beast of an individual. And then who knows the person that bullied them applies for a job or whatever. And they're like, nope. Not because of it. Like they could have changed. They could be completely different. They're just a young bully, but like that really affects them. So, and to be fair, like I was not a bully at all. But I do think it's very good advice is just like you never know. I feel like this is advice that every adult can have looking back on them in middle school and be like, hey, just think about how I think it's hard in middle school to, especially maybe as a middle school boy, I don't know, but it's sometimes hard to empathize or understand that your life isn't everyone's life, right? So it's like when you go home at the end of the day, what you have isn't what everyone has. Not everyone's mom really cares about them, not, you know what I mean? So that was one of those things that as I got older, I was like, oh, wow, the house that I went to wasn't the house that everyone went to for better or worse. So man, I think if I'm thinking outside of that in terms of just overall life advice, you know what? I'm actually going to stick with it and I'm going to relate it more to even nowadays. I think and especially on social media, it's so easy to approach any post or any it's not even just easy, it's natural, any post that you see, any comment that you see, any even whether it's on social media or not, to approach it only from your perspective. It's only from because you're holding your phone, whether you're in your house or in your car or in your bathroom with your life experiences. It's so easy just to approach it solely from how your life experiences and your life is interacting with that post. And I think it's unbelievably important in any situation, any conversation, especially when you're having an emotional reaction to something where you notice yourself maybe getting upset. You notice yourself maybe getting could be angry, could be jealous, could be sad, whatever it is, try and pulling yourself out of that and thinking this is only related to you. Let's think about how other people might have a relationship with what's being said. And not only that, let's think about, okay, here's the person who's saying it. This is what I think is actually incredibly important as well. This might even be the most important message from this. Have you ever said something and you said it in a way that you act, you didn't like the way you said it or that in a way that you wish you could have corrected it? And maybe when you said it, you didn't realize it. You didn't realize when you said it, that you were saying it in a way that you weren't happy about. It's only after the fact that you look back and you're like, ooh, you know what? I wish I could have said that in a better way. I actually meant to say this, right? It's like, well, I said this, but I meant to say this. People do that all the time, all the time, yeah, where it's like, you just word it in a way where you know what you meant, you know what your intent was, but what actually came out was not what you meant, and you might not have realized it in a moment. I see this happening all the time on social media, but also in everyday life as well, but I just see more interactions in social media, you're exposed to more interactions. I think it would be wonderful for me as a middle schooler, but also for everyone, including adults to be a little bit, give a little bit more grace to people as you're consuming their information, thinking about what was their intent behind it, and even if you disagree with it, it's okay to voice your disagreement, but don't do it like an asshole and don't assume the worst intent, right? And I've spoken about this before, but we tend to judge ourselves by our intent and other people by their actions. So we judge our, like, for example, we could talk about lying, and this is actually another great one. I used to get so mad when people would lie to me. I would get really upset if someone would lie to me. It was almost like a deal breaker and not just a romantic relationship, but any friendship. You lie to me, you're done. You're like, you're done. You're dead to me type of a thing. But it took until I was in my mid 20s before I realized I was like, hold on, I've lied to people, like I've lied before. Everybody has lied before. And I had this like coming out moment where I was like, why am I allowed to lie and get away with it? But if someone lies to me, it's not okay. And so I really, and that's sort of when I was, man, I'm judging myself by my intent because when I'm lying, I'm not doing it out of ill intent. I'm not doing it. Yeah, there's a reason. There's a right. Yeah. I don't want to hurt their feelings. I don't want whatever it is. And I realized a lie is a lie, period end of story. I don't care. A lie is a lie. I don't care. Like you can justify your lie by your intent doesn't matter. It's still a lie. And so I think, man, this might be the complete transformation of like the actual advice is like, listen, you really have to, if you're going to judge people, you have to judge yourself by the exact same standards. And so I'm not justifying lying because I don't think it's necessarily good. But if you get mad when someone lies to you, you better hold yourself to the exact same standards and not lie under any circumstance. And then this brings up a very philosophical discussion. Well, is it ever okay to lie? You know, like, is that ever okay? Which realistically, I think obviously there, I think anyone in the right mind would say, yes, under certain circumstances, it's okay to lie. But also, is it okay to lie to not hurt someone's feelings? I think it depends on the feelings. It depends on the person. It depends on the situation. I don't know. I think something I could have used back then as a real reality check, it's like, hey, you've lied too. So maybe be a little bit more graceful and gracious and understanding when someone isn't as forth right with you. When I like the way you phrase that, you were saying, hold yourself to the same standard. But on the flip side, that means hold other people to the same standard that you hold yourself. And so, you know, for people that are really hard on themselves, and if their friend did something, they might be like, oh, it's no, it's no big deal. Like, it'll be fine, like it's, I'll give you that grace. But when they're hard on themselves, they don't give themselves that grace. So by marrying those two things, how you hold other people and how you hold your own behavior, maybe you soften the things that need to be softened about how you treat yourself, and maybe you harden the things that you need to hold yourself accountable to as well. I love that. That's a great way to bring those two together. I like that a lot. So your time machine, you run out of time, you say, "Bye to junior, hi, Jordan." And you get back in the time machine and you zoom forward into high school. Okay. I get in the DeLorean and I go to 2005. Oh, it's the DeLorean, okay. All right. Dude, I love those movies. I love... Do you like those back to the future? I haven't seen them in so long, but yeah. Yeah. Bro. You should get them. I have them on VHS. I don't have a VHS player, but like, dude, those movies, oh, so good. So when he's playing the guitar and he's like rocking out at the auditorium or whatever, and then there's just crickets, and he's like, "Trust me, you guys are going to love this." Dude, such a good lie. Yeah, I think he was like, "Your kids are going to love this." So good. That's the meme. That's genius. That would be the scene that is stuck with you. It's such a music guy. That scene makes a lot of sense for that to really hit home with you. I love that. So you're in the DeLorean. You pull up to your high school parking lot, and you find yourself after wrestling practice. I feel like here now we can kind of go into the three branches, right? Like your health and fitness relationships maybe and high school things are starting to heat up. Okay. Yeah, general life advice. So let's go in that order. Let's go with nutrition, fitness stuff first. So it's very interesting. So Lincoln Sudbury Regional High School, wrestling practices over. So it's winter and a suburb of Boston. It's cold outside, right? You can see your breath in the cold air. We're actually hot because wrestling practice just ended. You just spent two hours in there and like the cold air feels really good on you. And we'll say, you know, freshmen, varsity, like feeling on top of the world because I'm a 14 years old, made varsity, just feeling really good about where I am. And I'm also, I'm cutting weight. I'm cutting weight and I'm wearing that like a badge of honor. You know, I'm on varsity. I've got to make weight. Da da da da. I know I'm going to go home after two hours of wrestling and I'm not going to eat. My mom is going to like get really mad that I'm not eating dinner and I'm just going to go right to my room. And man, I really sympathize with what she went through is I think it's, it must be difficult as a parent when you realize you can't make your kid do something after a certain point. Like after a certain point, you can't make your kid eat even when they have a eating disorder, which I very absolutely did, you can't make a meat. And so, and not to mention, she was working full time and da da da da da. So here, this is going to, this might be controversial. Here's what I'm going to say. I went through hell in high school with my eating disorder, anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, went through real hell with it. More than I think anyone really knows, and I wouldn't change it. Like I wouldn't tell myself anything to, because number one, there's nothing that I could tell myself that I think would change my mind back then, but equally if not more importantly, especially with that specific situation, me going through that and coming out the other side has led me to help tens, if not hundreds of thousands of people with it, which regardless of your beliefs or not, I very much believe in God, I very much believe there's a reason for me being here, and maybe many reasons for me being here. And I think that that is one of them, that me going through that, coming out the other side, and I think sort of it's the combination of everything, like the way that I've learned that I was in special education, the way that I learned was through coming up with analogies and through learning how to make things very complex topics easy to understand, because if I had to do that for myself, which I think made me a pretty good teacher and a coach. So then going through that and then having the combined knowledge of making analogies and breaking things down easier for people to understand, and then also being able to put myself out there publicly on social media so that I could then help more people with that exact situation, I think that's one of the reasons why I'm here. So even though I suffered, the suffering had a purpose, and I think that the net result is infinitely better than if I hadn't gone through it at all. So my advice to myself would be very different than my advice to someone else in that situation. I wouldn't tell someone else, "Hey, suffer through this because you might be able to help more people as a result of this horrible, horrible disease," but you know how this story ends. Correct. Exactly. It's very different than someone else. Would you give, instead of advice, maybe some kind of encouragement? Because it sounds like if you were going through it, maybe emotions were all over the place, or you were hard on yourself, or is there anything there? Maybe not change everything, but just something that it would have helped you to hear at that time. So let's say I go back and give that advice, and let's assume that 14, 15-year-old me is going to listen. I mean, it's you. So if anything, you're going to listen to anyone, your future self. It's you, man. This has got to be it. It's a really, really, really great way to frame it, and a great way to think about it. Man, you know what it's really going to be? I really think this advice would have helped a lot, and I don't think that it would have changed the outcome of me being able to help people. I do think it would have changed my ability to actually enjoy experiences more. It would have been the whole, literally what I say now, no one got fat from having one ice cream, just like no one got skinny from having one salad. It's like I need you to relax. When you go out on that date, I want you to have the ice cream cone, okay? When you go on a... Oh my gosh, crazy core memory just brought back to me when I was... Dude, I think I was 17. Me and my buddy David, my mom went on a trip. My mom went on a trip, and she never did. She never did. She, like, 17 or 18 years old. My mom goes on a trip with a couple of friends to Maine, which is a couple hours away. She was like, "I need you to stay home. You're not allowed to go. I need you to watch the dog." I gave the dog to my neighbors, and my buddy David and I drove to Montreal. What? We spent the weekend in Montreal, and I was like, "Yeah, mom, I'm at a house with the dog, cinnamon, don't you?" Ferris Bueller's Day off. We drove all the way to Montreal. I must have been 18, because you can drink 18 in Montreal. We were drinking, and I had no problem drinking, but I had David for context. This is the same David who he just came over to visit a couple of weeks ago to see my daughter, the same David with the pubes story. He didn't actually do it. I just said he did. We became friends from wrestling. We met in eighth grade, and so he also had disorder-eating. We would do this together, where we didn't realize that we both had eating disorders, and then we drove to Montreal. We would drink, and we would go out to bars, but then we wouldn't allow ourselves to have any "bad food." We drove all the way there. We didn't experience anything other than just going to bars, and being able to drink. "You didn't have the poutine?" No. Nothing. We didn't. None of that. It was really bad. I think the nutritional advice, the mindset advice around nutrition, I would have given my, "Hey, no one got fat from having one ice cream, no one got skinny from having one salad." You're so disciplined. You're so this. I would probably say that because that's what me wanted to hear back then is like, "You're super disciplined. You work so hard. It's okay to enjoy yourself." I promise you. I promise you, future self, 20 years later, you're not going to get fat. I promise. Enjoy it. Have one every once in a while. It's fine. When you go to Montreal, have the poutine. When you go on the date, have the ice cream cone. Enjoy it. I think that would have been helpful advice for me back then. Any relationship advice or is that have the ice cream? No, I have to do different advice. I can't. That's relationship advice. I grew up in a house with seeing a very bad marriage with my mom and my dad. It was a very, very, very bad marriage. My whole life, I knew I wanted kids. I always knew I wanted kids. I assumed I was going to adopt and be a single father. I always wanted to be a dad. I love being a dad. I think it's another thing. Another reason God put me here is just so I could be a dad. Also, I love stand-up comedy. One thing about stand-up comedy, you're going to be like, "What does that have to do with this?" Yeah, my head tilted to the side. You're like, "What the hell?" Stand-up comedy is funny because it's true. A stand-up comic will say something and people will say, "Oh, that's so true. That's so true." It's funny because it's true and they can present it in a way that is hilarious. They take a normal everyday situation and they make it funny, but it's normal. It's common. Me and my brother is a professional stand-up comedian now. He's killing it. We would just be downstairs watching stand-up comedy for hours. Robin Williams, Bill Cosby, nonstop. We just watched the best stand-up comedians of all time. All the stand-up comedians, including, by the way, female stand-up comedians, there are more men now than as well than women. But even now, men and women stand-up comedians, they make jokes about marriage and how much it sucks. Now, I don't know what their personal lives were like and all of that, but it was really coming from their personal lives. But I was like, "Okay, so the marriage that I see sucks in my house every minute of every day, I hate coming home. I hate being here when they're together. These comedians are making it seem like marriage is the worst thing ever. Obviously, marriage is terrible. Why would anyone do that? It doesn't make any sense." So I had a very... My view of marriage was the same way that my view of school is now. An immediate guttural just eks. Why would I do that? Why would I put myself through that? And that really impacted the way that I allowed myself to open up to relationships, that I allowed myself to be vulnerable, that I allowed myself to even explore the idea of a relationship. I was like, "Nope, we're not going to be a relationship. We're not going to be a relationship. The whole making it official thing." Or it's like, "No, we're not official. Because in my mind, why make it official if there's the end point of that would be marriage? That's the logical end result. So why would we do that?" And to say all of that is just to give you context into where my mind was. I think my advice... I mean, going back now, just to say, I'm in a marriage that I never, never would have imagined would have existed. And I also think that whether it's the stand-up comedians or the marriage that you saw growing up, that people who are speaking poorly about marriage, they probably just had a poor marriage and they had a poor experience with it. And you don't know, did they rush into it? Did they give actually a good amount of effort? Now, there's so many different things to discuss. My mom and dad had a marriage. Their experiences in that marriage were very different. And so in this one, I would say there's someone to blame and there's someone not to blame in this one. And so each individual person has a role to play. And I'm not saying which role you're playing, which role they're playing. But I am saying, what was important for me is I just assumed marriage was bad and it was less about the individuals within the marriage and more about marriage as a whole. It was more about this whole idea doesn't make sense. And I would find—I love history, so I would find historical reasons to hate it. I would find random facts about marriage to hate it. And it wasn't until I got older and actually started diving more into Judaism. And also, there's a study that you can provide everything with, with fitness, with nutrition. There are historical facts that you can improve everything with as well. There are historical facts that point to why marriage is a bad idea. And there are historical facts that point to why marriage is actually a really amazing idea and why it is actually better for everyone involved. So it's sort of, you're going to pick and choose whatever you think is going to go with your current bias and your notion of what is right and wrong. But the advice would probably be something around similar to the lying advice where it's like, if you're not willing to be open and vulnerable, then you can't expect them to be open and vulnerable with you. And to be fair to my younger self, I didn't really expect people to be open and vulnerable very much. But I did expect to have some level of relationship with also a dual understanding that it would never go further, which I don't think was fair at that time. And granted, coming from—knowing where I came from and where my mindset was, it makes sense, but it still wasn't fair to the other person involved. So I think it would be understanding that what you've seen of marriage is not all marriage. It doesn't have to be your marriage. And if you want to actually have a meaningful relationship with someone, you have to be willing to be open and vulnerable in the same way that you might expect them to be as well. That's great. I feel like there's any commentary on that. I was going to say, I feel like this is all advice that I think anybody could take to heart, not just a younger person or your younger self. It's pretty universal. And I do think it is, in my experience, it is like you get what you put in in terms of it's like watering a garden, you know? It's like if you stop watering it, it's going to wither away and it's not going to be as nice and it's going to be weeds, right? So it's like something that you have to kind of work on. And it's like health and fitness, right? You have to be consistent. You have to show up. You have to be committed. And without those things, then you don't get the results that you want. Well said. Get an allergy. So let's fast forward in the DeLorean. You pop in, you put on—what were you listening to in high school? Dude, Blink 182. Blink 182, nice. Awesome. So you put on all the small things and you get there, man, and you speed out of the parking lot. And you land at university. Oh, man. Okay. What a realm of advice are we in now? Where does your mind go first? Because you said, "Oh, man." And I think there was something to that. Well, the reason I said, "Oh, man," is because I hated it. I hated school. Dude, I fucking hated it. And there's so much context around here. So I went into university. I'd taken a year off between high school and college. I lived in Israel for a year. I only came back to the states because I promised my mom that I would go to school and I didn't want to ruin the relationship with my mom, which looking back, it wouldn't have been ruined. It's not like she would have not spoken to me. But I was fearful because I didn't have a relationship with my dad. I didn't want to lose a relationship with my mom. So I came back, went to school, and all of my friends were back in Israel. All of my best memories were back in Israel. And now I'm in school with kids who are using mommy and daddy's money to pay for alcohol and going to these frat parties. And I was just like, my friends are in the army or in the military and they're being shot at and they're being bombed. And my friends and family are like, and here we are. It was very difficult for me to reconcile the unfairness of the world and how I didn't want to be there. So that's where I was. And then my first roommate in college, they just give you a roommate. Yeah, the random roommate. Yeah. He was selling drugs out of our dorm. And they actually, did I tell you this story? I think I might have told you this. No. Dude, he was selling not just like weed. He was selling drugs out of our dorm. And we shared, we slept two feet from each other. I was at the gym. So school started in August. It must have been October or something. The cops performed a sting operation on this kid where I was at the gym, shocker. I was at the gym and a girl on my floor came over and she was like, did you hear? So and so I'm not going to use his name. So and so was just arrested. And literally I was on the treadmill and I was like, not surprised. It came about that the undercover cop got his number, said, Hey, I want to buy drugs from you. He was like, meet me outside. George Reed, that was the place I was in at University of Delaware, meet me outside. George Reed, they surrounded him, arrested him and he was expelled. So, but for my first like two months in school, I'm like, I don't do drugs and like nothing against how many it does. But I don't want to be roommates with a drug dealer. And then my mom was calling the school being like, you know, my mom's a lawyer. She's like, you do not have permission to go through Jordan stuff, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. Like you cannot go through his hit like, she wouldn't like full lawyer mode. Like she's any of that is worried about the burnt pubes smell, dude. She was she was like full on lawyer mode. Don't go into his stuff. But it was it was rough, man. And I still had an eating disorder at this point. And I did not want to be in school. But I had sort of just relegated myself to being like, well, I'm sort of stuck here. I've got to do something. And at some point, I did actually book a one way ticket to Israel. I was like, fuck it. I'm out. I can't do this. And the next day, I got a call from Louis Simmons saying, Hey, you can come train with me at West Side Barbell, which we've done that podcast. We can link that in the show now. It's just insane, insane story. But anyway, once I got the call from Louis Simmons, I can train at West Side Barbell. There's no way I'm leaving school. So I basically just go full in on business mode, where I'm like, okay, now I'm going to become the best coach that I can possibly be the best trainer. And I'm going to start making a name for myself in that world. I'm going to start powerlifting. I'm going to start making a name for myself in this industry because I want to help people. So I made a website. I started writing articles. I was researching. I became like the youngest person in precision nutrition history at that point in time to be certified through precision nutrition. I remember I took the certification exam at like midnight on a Friday or a Saturday. Well, everyone is out drinking. And I wore that like a badge of honor. I was like, yeah, everyone is out drinking and partying. And I'm in here working and studying. And I got the certification and I was all by myself. And I was just so excited. Everyone is out drinking and partying. And I'm like, yeah, I'm precision nutrition certified. And so that became my outlet for my own joy, my own pride is taking pride in my work. And when everyone else was out being college kids, I was grinding. I was working. I was, I was doing what I had to do. I was the one who was paying for my student loans. I was like, I was working in several jobs. It was like, I'm, I'm not partying. I'm not drinking. And so, man, here's the thing. Even going back, I think it's sort of the same thing. I wouldn't change it, which is it could be a potential theme of like, I'm not going to change anything. But similar, it's sort of finding the balance, finding the moderation. It's like, hey, you know, you could go out and have a beer and go back to work the next day. And it's still totally fine. On my, I remember on my 21st birthday, I was writing an article to publish on my 20, like I was, I was working, you know, and I think I could have had a little bit more balance, whereas like, you know what, you can go out, you can have a beer or whatever. And to be fair, I had, I still an amazing friend. His name is Sean. He was on the powerlifting team with me. He really got me to open up. He brought me in. I was never going to be a part of a frat. I like, I just didn't like that world. I never wanted to do it. He was in a frat. But he, and I was like, dude, and I would make fun of him, like how you're in a frat or whatever. But like, we would talk shit to each other. But he brought me in. And so he would like, he come to my house, let's just hang out and we would drink. And so as I got into my like junior senior year, he became a really good friend. But I think it would have been the advice of like, Hey, relax a little bit, you know, maybe just you don't need to wake up it. It was funny. Sean and I would have contest to see who could wake up earlier and get to work. So so we would text each other. At like, first it was like six. And then it was five 30. And then it was five. And then it was four. And we would text whoever was first to wake up so we could start working. I was waking up at like 358 because I knew he was going to wake up at four. So I'd wake up at 358 and text and be like, and I'd be up working writing an article for my website. And it was a really good healthy competition and fun. But I think, and I don't think anything would have changed, but it would have been nice to know that I could relax a little bit. I could take a breath. I could enjoy. And even though there were things going on all over the world that weren't necessarily fair, that I think I used the idea of fairness of what wasn't fair going on around the world that almost like didn't let me enjoy my life. And I was like, that doesn't help anyone. Right. It doesn't help me or doesn't help them for me not to enjoy what I have access to. And I almost like, it almost sucked the joy out of the room where it was like, any time there could be joy, it's like, well, you know, it's not joyful over here. You know, that you know, it's not it's like, Hey, like, I know there's bad things going on. But how does sucking the joy out of this room help that room? You know, and so I think sort of having that little bit of perspective, I think it would have been helpful. Yeah, I think it would have been, uh, maybe giving me access to a little bit more joy at that time in my life. That was probably the worst, like the most down I'd ever been. Would you say you were a depress? Yeah, for sure. My friend Chris, my friend Chris had, um, I actually just spoke to his brother a couple weeks ago about it. He died. Whether or not he killed himself or there was a mistake. We don't know, but he, uh, he was killed by a train. And so it was a really difficult experience because just a couple weeks before that, he, him and I were talking and he was asking me how I could be so happy. And it was one of those things where I was not in a happy place in my life at all, but he, he was in such a bad place that he saw me and was like, Oh, you must be really happy. And I remember I didn't see what could potentially be going on with him. And so between leaving Israel, leaving my friends and family, all the issues going on there, there was a huge issue, you know, huge and it's so crazy. And like, we don't have to get into it. People are like, Oh my God, is it right now? It's like, there have been conflicts in all throughout history with in that area. 2014, there was a big one that I was wishing I could be there and be in the military and serving. And so between that and between Chris and between hating school and hating people there. And there was, it was, yeah, I was depressed for sure, for sure. I would, I remember I called my mom one time and I was crying and I was like, I'm dropping out, I'm leaving. And she gave me the one time in her life where she did not say the right thing. Oh, no. She was just like, she basically, she didn't really listen. She was just like, well, you can't. That was it. It was like, you just can't. And I was like, that's not what I need to hear right now. Like, I didn't want to just hear I can't. Yeah, you want reasons to. I just wanted to have someone listen. I just wanted to have someone listen and be like, talk to me. What's hurting? Like, I'm here for you. Even understanding psychology more now, maybe if I had heard like, well, like, if you want, you could come home for a while, you could take a semester off that I probably would have went the other way. I would be like, no, I can stick it out. I can do it. If I had heard like, you can do that, I probably wouldn't have taken her up on it. I probably would have been. But because it was like, well, you can't, then I don't think it was the best way to handle it. And we all say, we don't handle every situation as we always could. So I don't fault her for that. But in that moment, that was definitely not what I needed. I mean, that must be so hard though. As the parent, it's like, for her, like you getting through college was like, your insurance, right? Correct. In her mind, that was like, you're going to be alright if you graduate. So let me just get you there. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is very different now. Now it's college is not what it was for our parents generation at all. But yeah, I think at that point, just number one, being able to relax a little bit, which is a very common theme. But also, I think another one is, there's unfairness all over the world. If there's unfairness, there's horrible things happening all over the world. And just because that's going on doesn't mean that you shouldn't be able to do something with your life. Because it sort of goes like you can't pour from an empty cup type thing. If you want to make a difference, then maybe you could get the most out of what you have right now and then go help them in some way. Like now I have the ability and the opportunity to help people in Israel and all over the world that I never would have had if I didn't focus on myself. And so I also know like I talk to my family there all the time and I'll get really worried and they can hear that I'm down. They're like, Jordan, relax. Like, what do you think you being upset is doing for us? It doesn't doesn't do anything for us. We don't like that you're upset. We don't like that you're not feeling good. Like they're like, go have fun. Enjoy. Like stop being stop being a downer. You know, it's if you actually talk to the people who are going through it, a lot of times like stop being a fucking whiner. Like go go do something. You know, so that was I think helpful for me as well. It's sort of like when you don't finish your food on your plate and your parents, like they're starving kids in India. You got to eat that. It's like, how's that helping the kids in India? That's not helping. Yeah. You eating that isn't helping them at all. In fact, it might even be making it worse because now it's in granting a bad habit. And you it's their negative things happen as a result of it. Maybe stop when you're full and then go do something productive and enjoy and then use whatever you can do to then help difficult situations. But also understanding like you're not going to be able to help everything in everyone in every situation. I think coming in terms of that is is important. Yeah. And at that time, I mean, you had such a personal attachment to Israel. You went there and you connected with the culture and the people and you had a great time and you had family there that you didn't realize you had. And like I get why that would seem a lot closer to your heart than something going on in some other part of the world or on the other side of your city even. You know, you had a really personal connection there. Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly right. So we're coming on an hour. We've gotten about halfway through our time travel as far as I had mapped it out. Do you think we should do a part two or do you think we should try to let's do a part two? We'll do a part two and maybe part. Yeah, we'll see how part two goes and if we need to do a part two plus some more, then we can do that. But yes, it's a yeah, I love that. I think this is a good stopping point. I've got I've got to get some I got a busy busy day. So I got to get some stuff done. But this was good, man. What do you think? You think this is a good? So sometimes we talk about these stories and these different times of your life. And I feel like going through it chronologically in this way, it just paints such a picture for me in my mind. I'm like, where you were, what you were going through. And I guess I have a lot of context from, you know, the other hundred podcasts we've done. But it's like, I don't know, it's endlessly fascinating in that way. And I think by the time we get to the end, it'll be really interesting to see how that advice has shifted. So yeah, I'm looking forward to the rest. Well, Tony and Tonya, I appreciate you. Thank you everyone listening. If you enjoyed the episode, if you enjoyed any of the episodes, please leave a five star review. I too and Spotify, the written reviews help the absolute most. So if you could do that, it would mean the world to us. Thank you so much. Have a wonderful week. I'll talk to you soon. [Music] [BLANK_AUDIO]

In this episode of The Jordan Syatt Mini-Podcast, I shoot the breeze with my podcast producer, Tony and discuss all the advice I wish I could tell my younger self.