Amala Ekpunobi

Woke Man Tries To Justify Hiding HIV From Partners

A gay man is going viral for talking about how he did not disclose his HIV to a sexual partner. Let’s talk about it.

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Duration:: 10m
Broadcast on:: 29 Aug 2024
Audio Format:: mp3

"My dad works in B2B marketing. "He came by my school for career day "and said he was a big row as man. "Then he told everyone how much he loved "calculating his return on ad spend. "My friend's still laughing at me to this day." - Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com/results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com/results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. - Where HIV is now, if you are undetectable, you don't necessarily have to disclose that. I don't think you're putting anyone at any risk that you have to necessarily go through that, but it's because of the stigma and shame that I feel like I have to disclose. People would look at that as betrayal. - Jail, jail. A gay man is going viral for talking about how he did not disclose his HIV to a sexual partner. Let's talk about it. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) ♪ Yeah, you better ♪ - Guys, before we get into today's video, please like and subscribe. This one is a crazy subject matter. A gay man is going viral on the internet for talking about his HIV diagnosis and his failure to disclose that to one of his partners. He's talking about it with two other queer women, presumably, who are giving the good old leftist mm-hmm-hmm. You're a part of a marginalized community, so I must understand this egregious thing you're saying to me, let's watch the clip. - I put HIV positive on my profiles. People don't want to touch you. I remember being on a date with someone, so I brought him back to my place. I was like, okay, I need to tell you something. I'm HIV positive. And I remember he looked at me. It was like I murdered him. I was like, I thought he was going to beat the shit out of me. He was like, I can't believe you wouldn't tell me. And you gave me HIV. And I was just losing his mind. And I'm like, no, that's not possible. - Note, okay, the guy was upset saying, I can't believe you didn't tell me this. You gave me HIV. Which means that they hooked up before this information was divulged to him. That's insane. Doesn't matter what status of HIV you have, that's insane. Let's keep watching. - Even if I bled on you, in an open wound, that wouldn't happen, I'm undetectable. But he just didn't want to hear it. Now, the way the law goes, being undetectable, I really don't have to just close my status. And you think about it, anyone that you meet on your first date, or like you're hooking up. Like, are you like, I have diabetes. I have high blood pressure. You're not telling them any of this shit. Where HIV is now, like if you are undetectable, like you don't necessarily like have to disclose that. I don't think you're putting anyone at any risk that you have to like necessarily go through that. But it's because of the stigma and shame that I feel like I have to disclose. People would look at that as betrayal. - I need a moment to collect myself and really analyze what it is that's going on here. Now, this person is choosing to make a very selfish decision. And it's a selfish decision because they don't want to deal with the judgment that lies on the other end of letting somebody know the diagnosis that they have, even if it is an undetectable diagnosis, which is what we will talk about in just a moment. Because you don't want to deal with the shame and judgment that comes with telling someone that. You are going to allow somebody to enter a non-consensual sexual agreement with you, which is exactly what that is. This person lacks informed consent because you are too scared to let them know that your actions led to a diagnosis of HIV. That's insane. And I get that there are states that have varying laws when it comes to this matter of being undetectable and whether or not you have to tell somebody once you've reached undetectable status, I don't care. If you have HIV, even if it is undetectable, untransmittable, you should have to tell sexual partners that you are about to engage with before you engage with them. And this person being upset and giving you a look as if they want to murder you is absolutely justifiable. Even if this person is going to get on the other end of whatever they choose to do with you and not have HIV, the diagnosis speaks to your sexual behavior, your sexual choices. They also have to decide whether or not they trust that you are up-to-date with your medications, that you are taking them on a daily basis, so as to not transmit this virus to them, there are many different things that this person now has to take in and analyze on the other side of that news. But if you do not give them that news and you choose to hook up with them without letting them know, you, in my opinion, have committed a crime. There is stigma and judgment that lies on the other end of such an announcement as that for a reason. And there are people who are going to run with that stigma and decide they no longer want to be with you in that way. And there are going to be people who don't. The real thing is allowing people to make that informed decision. And for him to sit on a podcast and justify not allowing people to make that informed decision is Kuku for Coco Puffs crazy. And he's sitting across from two other queer women and this seems to be a queer podcast, it's the focus of the conversation on this platform. And I guess they're trying to justify the lunacy that they are hearing and what is being said right in front of their faces. You see them nodding along, trying to make sense of what he's saying. One girl even says that you might engage with people who have other diseases and illnesses that are not going to be transmitted to you. The examples of HIV and high blood pressure were given. I'm sorry, okay. HIV is very different from having high blood pressure and diabetes. At no point are you at risk of high blood pressure or diabetes being transferred over to you after engaging sexually with somebody who is suffering from those afflictions. With HIV, it's not necessarily the case. And I know we're in an all accepting culture, especially when it comes to the marginalized identities of being gay or queer, but that does not mean we have to accept this sort of behavior. In fact, I thought in this year, 2024, we were all about the idea of consent and not doing anything without getting the proper okay from the person on the other end of that action. But I guess that doesn't include informed consent when it comes to the transmission of sexual diseases. Make it make sense. The math is not mathing. It's okay to be open-minded. It's not okay to be so open-minded that we begin robbing people of making important decisions as to who they engage with. And guess what, on any given day, we all make decisions that are based off of prejudice and stigma, things that I guess we've decided are wholly unnatural and negative, but it is your right to make those decisions based on your prejudice or stigma. And in this case, I'd say the stigma is rightful. What's crazy is this guy actively admits that if he were to be honest about his status, even the undetectable part of that status, people would not want to engage with him sexually. Instead of putting the ball in the court of those people to make a decision on their own behalf, he decides out of selfishness that he wants to engage with him and therefore will not give them the choice of having the actual information that would lead to a different outcome for him. It is peak selfishness. It is peak narcissism. It is the belief that what you want matters more than what other people want. And not only that, you are willing to victimize people in order to get what you want, that is insane. If you lure or trick somebody into engaging with you sexually under false pretenses, that's a form of sexual predation. So we should call this what it is and not try to justify it because life is so hard with an HIV status, even when undetectable and we feel so bad for the LGBTQ+ community and those within it who go through this. We can feel bad for people who experience these things without allowing them to victimize other people. And just because the virus wasn't transmitted to the individual that he lied to in a lie of omission does not mean that that person is not a victim on the other end of getting this news. Viruses don't know or care that you have a marginalized identity. And I'm glad that this individual is undetectable and has very low risk as far as transmitting this disease to other people, but that doesn't mean that other people don't need to know that. And I have to wonder how this man got the HIV diagnosis in the first place. Was he sleeping with somebody who did not disclose that to him? Was he sleeping with somebody who claimed to be undetectable? But maybe he wasn't keeping up with their medication and then goes on in the next path of his life to not tell his partners that he has HIV even if it's undetectable. There are so many other issues that weave into this video, which is why we're reacting to a subject matter. We wouldn't normally be talking about. He reminds me of transgender individuals who say that they shouldn't have to disclose their trans identity to people that they are engaging with. And I can only imagine the negative outcomes that that leads to. It also reminds me of the flippantness with which we view sexuality and sexual acts in this current culture and the fact that he's talking about a very serious issue and something wrong that he is doing so flippantly as if we should just lift all stigma off of these issues points to a deeper societal issue that I think many of us are experiencing. So I just had to today watch this video and clear things up. If we're gonna talk about consent in this modern day and age, it better be informed consent. And those are my thoughts on this viral video. If you disagree with something that I said in this video, which would actually blow my mind on this one, but let me know by dropping it in the comments down below as always I encourage healthy debates so you could out-produce it respectfully. If you like this video, like, subscribe, click the notification while you're notified every single time I post a video for you guys, which is every day and I will see you next time. Bye guys. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) ♪ Yeah, you're better ♪