LIVIN OUR CRAZY LIFE
A TALK ON EMOTIONAL MATURITY & FORGIVENESS
This week we talk about emotional maturity but more importantly emotional IMMATURITY.
Why people let emotions get the best of them, lashing out, punishing & hurting others.
We also talk about forgiveness, is it possible to truly forgive & forget?? let’s find out
- Duration:
- 22m
- Broadcast on:
- 04 Sep 2024
- Audio Format:
- mp3
Hey guys, welcome back to another week of live in our crazy life podcast. I'm Olivia I'm Megan and today we're gonna be talking about emotional maturity. I feel like this is a big topic especially this has been like a very eye-opening subject I feel like in my life and I feel yours and There's been many situations with a lot of different people this year that have just They want to see immaturity and let us down and disappointed us. We've seen the best sides of people this year But we've also seen the worst sides the emotional maturity at its core is how you conduct yourself and behave and I think that a lot of people just have zero emotional maturity they lash out and on you know you and they they don't Conduct themselves or carry themselves in a way where it shows respect for people around them or themselves And they try and you know, maybe punish you by taking things away from you or threatening you with certain things that's very immature and if you were secure and Mature then you would know that that's not the proper way to act. You know, it's also insane It's insane humane actually something that's manipulating some of the actions that I've seen from Past friends this year. I will not ever have respect for you anymore as a person if you are Not only that disrespectful but also You are just like in my eyes you're crazy like you are insane and you have a problem And it's not even like it's like how are you going to? How are you going to? Like How are you going to be this way? How are you going to behave this way? How are you going to say that you care about somebody and your friends with somebody and? ABC whatever and Act these ways like how are you going to? Right, how do you publicly conduct yourself in that way and and also the fact that sometimes the way people behave and you know Lash out and stuff they they think that's funny. They think it's funny or I don't even know they I don't know What they think it's okay. It's a problem because and they think you're going to forgive them after it Let's just step to this process. It's a person is Doing these things and they're crossing way too many lines Like at this point, it's like you've done way too much and you just need to take a step back and then you you it's like they are They're it's like someone likes like doing these things to you and then in their mind They're thinking I'm gonna act this way, but tomorrow. I'm just gonna undo it tomorrow It's gonna be back to how we're friends. It's gonna be okay. It's gonna. I'm mad now So I'm going to act this way take things away from you Do random things and then tomorrow will be fun Yeah, if I just apologize to them tomorrow and and turn it on you and manipulate you and say oh But you know, I'm I was hurting or oh I am going through things too. So that's why I did it and I didn't mean to and I am not I'm it's on doing there's no on doing there's no on doing back once you cross certain lines with people and once you go and do You know crazy things like this you cannot undo it no amount of words no amount of actions No amount of anything in the world can undo the feeling that you just put somebody else through it doesn't undo It doesn't undo ever there's no I'm doing because it will always be in my head and that is like it depends what the person is done But I'm talking about people that I've just crossed like a huge line and honestly, I think it's okay to talk Yeah, I think we should talk about it. There is it we had a mutual friend and I'm not gonna get into too much detail, but I just want to say one one thing they were okay with sitting on their phone and reporting our podcast account over and over and over again making Hundreds of accounts to get our account taken down and they said something along the lines like mark my word I will get it taken down and Whatever like that and that that's just like Yeah, the thing the thing about that is that this person specifically knew and it's always the people that are close to you And the people who know, you know where they can get your words They know where they can hurt you and they abuse that and that's why you need to power that private You need to keep certain things private You can't you can let people close but not too close because they will turn on you and they will use and abuse that this person Especially new above all else. How hard we have been working on this podcast and for this to be something This is our future and this is our dream that what we've been working towards They specifically took that and use that against us as a way to hurt us and then Tries and apologize the next day acting like they did nothing and putting on us for being upset And that's not okay, and that's not even like that's not a funny joke. That's not a prank you That's not a ha ha ha honestly like this is something that is gonna take me a long time to forgive like within myself For that person but also it's it's never I'm never talking to this person again I don't have respect for this person's person's block than everything and out of my life completely because that's something that is just You are actually you actually are insane to me like I'm sorry, but you're sitting there You know how much time it takes to put an email in for all these things to make separate accounts on YouTube And you're intentionally doing it and our Instagram and our Instagram and our Instagram and just it's the fact that okay A lot of things happen around the same time with the same person where they crossed honestly every single boundary in line that I have for myself crossed and You know tried to make me feel bad about it, which is one thing right? That's still not forgivable and I was already not willing to have this person in my life anymore But this crossed the boundary and it's unforgivable walk on everything and I'm just the thing about forgiveness is that you know Sometimes it can be hard to forgive, but it's important that yes, you do forgive people and it's not you're not forgiving them for them You're forgiving people for yourself. It's for your own for healing peace of mind is for healing But the biggest thing about forgiveness is you can forgive people and you can not want them in your life You can forgive people, but you don't invite them back in to do it again That's the most important thing. That's the most important thing That's like and you don't forget forgive for yourself, but don't forget because yeah when you Forget and you give you know more chances. It's different giving more chances and forgiving is completely different things Because again forgiveness is for your own peace of mind giving another chance so that somebody can go and hurt you again is You might as well just shoot yourself in the head because you know what these people are capable of you You've seen their true colors, and that's your own Your own like dependency on whatever you're dependent there for that you need them in your life badly that you're willing to let that happen No, no So somebody important to the both of us asked us a question and it's relevant to this subject So we're gonna talk on it. It was is it possible to fully forgive and forget? And I think my take on that is that forgive. Yes, forget never You never forget anything in your life anything that even happens like You don't forget that the way somebody treats you you'll never forget that I mean even when a like when beautiful things happen you don't forget that and when horrible things happen you never forget that and it's not necessarily the actions themselves because sometimes they fade you know you can't remember Certain specific things you might not be able to remember exact words that someone said that Hurt you, but you will always remember that hurt you can forget the actions or the specific words that someone said You know time fades and you can't remember exactly, but you will always remember that hurt that When this happened on the plane my chest was burning. I was so upset and infuriated more than I have ever been in my life And that's just something I will never forget is you can't forget the feeling of What somebody does to you or what somebody says to you? That doesn't go away and that's you can forgive. I'm on the same page of I think it's possible to forgive But to forget no forget actions forget words. Yes, you don't forget the feeling forget the hurt forget You know what that never never don't ever forget hurt You never forget. I have not ever forgotten a time where I've been hurt like you know hurt stays with you and You know when you look at that person you see hurt like that's what it reminds you of and you'll never forget that You know what I mean? You don't forget people. No, you don't forget That's a lesson to be learned. That's a for me like just I've had like many many many Lessons this year, which is just wow I think that with all of this and all these lessons that I've learned this year with people with the world with life with everything is that It changes your vision on things and your perspective and that's We to me like to keep going in life. I have to find Something to do with all this hurt and everything that I've been through so I you know I try to look at it with positivity obviously you can't always do that when you're in it But when you are out of it which at one point you are you look back and you're like That that's like you're changing as a person and I feel like hurt people are almost The most wise in life because they learn so much with all that hurt every time you get hurt You heal and then you just are like 10 times smarter and 10 times stronger And then you're able to share that with other people something very prominent I learned this year is that you need to let lessons be lessons when someone shows you certain sides of themselves certain things they do things to you they try and hurt you or Just lessons that you learn along the way of life. You need to just let it be there doesn't need to be Reasons for everything you don't need to forgive if you don't want to you don't need to Excuse behavior. You don't need to invite people back to do it again You need to just let it be as it was this happened. It sucked. It's time to move on forwards You don't need to invite people back into your life. I always have given people to me chances then I should have and people, you know Abuse that power and people abuse that power and this friend that you know is now fully blocked on everything is not ever going to ever be invited or welcomed into our life in any shape layer form because You it's done and we have had issues in the past and we've reconnected and shame on me shame on me because I actually preach about all this and you know, staying in your place and and You know telling people when it's not time and honestly shame on me for that because I allowed this person back into my life and I would I was there for this person, you know So yeah, shame on me and I'm taking full accountability for that because but honestly But it won't happen again never this is way crap though. This the problem is is that Yes, those were problems before but it wasn't like this This was like I'm talking like I've never seen this like a person act like this before I don't want to give specifics, but it was obviously not just this that you know pushed to the edge I just think that you know Lashing out is is crazy It's not something that I would ever do you would ever do and I wouldn't want anyone in my life at all that behaves in that way I if you can't regulate your emotions and you can't when you're upset or some if I have upset you and you Lush out on me if you cannot regulate your emotions or stay calm or know that when you're angry it's a passing feeling or you can't you know go on a walk or Take time for yourself and you have to act on those impulses and you have to behave and hurt people because you're hurt that is so emotionally immature if you are hurt that does not give you a right to hurt other people take your hurt and and go Bring some water go for a walk take a second away from that person and just realize that it's not ever worth it It's not worth it to get angry or heated about situations because situations passed Never ever let a situation influence the way you act or the way you think or the way you see an end result Never act in the moment on impulse on the way you're feeling ever about anything Good or bad if you are ever that angry at somebody that is a problem within yourself and you seriously need to take You need to like go and get help and I don't even know what where that begins or if you're just if you're filled with that Much anger because the problem is not even With that person like you're not even upset with this person like that You're just like that's one thing that made you Something inside of you trigger and you're just so angry to the point like I oh my goodness. I can't I Don't want to get too specific, but I don't know banging on walls and throwing stuff on the ground and ripping off clothes and soup and banging things on doors and locking doors and threatening and this is just mind-blown the only word I have to like if you act like that is you're inhumane like I'm sorry, but you actually have serious issues and You need to get help for that because that is like that's crazy and I will never allow anybody in my life like that and I'm actually disappointed in myself that I even Let it get to that point because That just goes against so much of myself as a person like I don't I Stay far away from people that are Angry like that because anger turns into abuse and that's a whole other topic, but I'm not saying this person Isn't it does that any of that but I? but also there are character traits its character traits there were signs and if I'm shaking with anxiety and feeling like I'm gonna puke and You're still there laughing and you're still behaving in specific ways to specifically hurt us is crazy and Again, not to be specific but if you provide something for someone and then you get angry with them and you try and take it back or try and Tell them, you know figure out To make that figure it out on your stress to make that it's not even real They'll say oh I'm taking away from you But they use it because that's the only thing they have left that's the leverage they have on you already knew that the friendship was gonna be over and this is the only thing they had left they had left use and That's unbelievable again Unbelievable and disappointing that it would even go that far that you would actually Do that and it was over? Nothing - that's the thing in the issue with the types of people that lash out and behave this way is they take zero Accountability and at the end of the day when they are They try to justify it and they and they they put it on to you Why are you mad or it's your fault that I'm behaving this way? It is never your fault or anyone's fault for the way that somebody behaves you cannot control and regulate your own emotions That is your issue you need to work on that because you can't go around Doing this to everybody in your life because you will have nobody Because people don't want to be around that It's crazy. I would also just like to say that if you keep taking back these type of people into your life You are also part of the problem. It becomes Honestly your fault like if you're allowing this into your life and you For whatever reason it may be that you're letting them back in and back in that's that's on you at this point and For me now, I only need to see it once one of person now If a person disappoints me once that's it because I don't need to let you in a second time to know that you You know, it's gonna be the same cycle and yes people change people grow That's okay that we're not friends or whatever anymore and like That is good. You do you should grow and you should change, but then it's Time for you to change and grow for a different person to be in your life Yeah, and it also goes with you know, if you had plans with someone and they canceled your plans or they didn't show up that That's a disappointment. That's not a big deal. That's not something where you need to you know They didn't show up so they're cut out of your life. We're talking, you know bigger scale things here where when somebody Hurts you they go out of their way to intentionally hurt you or cause you stress or harm in any way That is someone that you should not want in your life people sometimes crave chaos. They crave Rocky relationships and I don't know if that comes from Childhood or the way they were raised, but a lot of people do Need a bit they think they need a bit of messiness in relationships for it to be real And I've learned over time that this the saying that love shouldn't hurt Love friendships, whatever parental Love in general that a feeling that emotion should not hurt. It shouldn't be hurt in friendships. There shouldn't be hurt in relationships That shouldn't because people that genuinely care for you wouldn't hurt you and they especially wouldn't go out of their way to hurt you and If if they let you down and you let them know that they let you down They will do everything in their power to make sure that it doesn't happen again And I have people in my life now that do surround me that I can say do that they care for me. They want to They want for me to be good. They don't want to cause me any harm or stress. That's important to have People that want to make your life easier. They don't want to hurt. That's emotional maturity. It's also important to realize When it's no longer love in general love when you were being disrespected it's This is like another topic and we'll talk about this in another episode, but Just briefly like you have to know when it's time to let go of somebody and when to let go of friendship or relationship when there is no longer pure love there and Just like in tiny things coming up or even big things It you just have to have enough respect for yourself to walk away from them because You're much better than that and you deserve much better than that That is so true you can't you can't stay around in these situations and these people it's a choice you're making at that point and you deserve so much better than that and there is better than that and Want that for yourself because it comes You don't have to put up with people's shitty behavior or craziness you don't have to put up with that and it you can call it quits at any time You know and you don't ever have to give an explanation of why you don't want to see someone anymore Why you don't want to talk to someone why you don't have to explain that you were hurt you don't have to explain Their actions you don't need to give an explanation at all because the way you're feeling is enough and if if for your own piece you have to cut complete ties with somebody and not explain yourself or Communicate with them at all. That's okay. You deserve that piece in knowing that now you can breathe and be by yourself And you don't have to put up with that ever again. That is Peace that you get from being able to realize that relationship is no longer serving you and it's time to move on It's time to let go and also when somebody is telling you that What you did hurt them? You can't decide that you didn't hurt them. You can't take that away from them if somebody is telling you to your face that You've been hurting me or you hurt me or you caused me hurt Then you did in some sort of way in your actions and your words in something and Just keep that in mind Also, really exciting news just a little bit of a little update is that we're getting new microphones next week for our Podcast and proper professional Microphones so our audio quality is gonna be greatly improved New camera new camera too. Yeah, so that's just a little update get excited for everybody in the comments and like our first few videos for everybody in the comments of equipment and Better sound quality. It's coming. It's coming on that note. Thank you guys for watching this week's episode We'll see you next Wednesday. Bye. Bye
This week we talk about emotional maturity but more importantly emotional IMMATURITY.
Why people let emotions get the best of them, lashing out, punishing & hurting others.
We also talk about forgiveness, is it possible to truly forgive & forget?? let’s find out