The 1Life Podcast with Behka White

Episode 58 - "Make an Adjustment, Girl!"

In Episode 58 of the 1life podcast, Behka White shares a personal story about coaching her daughter in basketball. Her daughter was struggling with a new shooting routine, and Behka, feeling impatient and frustrated, showed her daughter how to correct the issue instead of allowing her to figure it out herself. Behka reflects on this experience, emphasizing the importance of allowing others to learn and problem-solve on their own, even when it's tempting to step in and fix things for them. She concludes the episode by inviting listeners to reflect on their own experiences and make adjustments where needed.

Duration:: 3m
Broadcast on:: 07 Sep 2024
Audio Format:: aac

Welcome to the One Life podcast with Becca White. This is episode 58. Make an adjustment, girl! A few days ago, I was back at the gym with my youngest who was working through her new shooting routine. There's always a learning curve on these new programs. She had one exercise where she had to rebound the ball and make a follow-up shot ten times. The first three went straight off the bottom of the rim because she was too far under the hoop. On the fifth one, off the bottom of the rim, I became confused. What is happening here? I asked in a less than understanding voice. She explained all the reasons why she couldn't get the ball in the hoop. So, of course, I pulled up lecture number 128 called Make an Adjustment Girl, which goes something like this. You just shot five shots off the bottom of the rim. The rim is not going to move. If you always do what you've always done, you will always get what you've always got. If you want something different, you've got to do something different. If you want to get the ball in the hoop, you are going to have to figure out how to get the ball out from under the rim before you shoot it. And then, yes, I'm embarrassed to admit it. Then, I took all my expertise and showed her exactly how to get out from under the rim to shoot the ball in the basket. Ugg, not my finest parenting moment. This is not how I wanted to coach my daughter. What I wanted to look like is me patiently encouraging her to use her problem-solving skills and creativity to come up with her own solution, because my solution works for me. Her solution for her problem will be so much more effective. She did not get to do the mental work required and I stole that learning opportunity from her. So let's practice processing this experience together as we discussed yesterday. So what went well? I took my daughter shooting. I got to spend time with my daughter. She was excited about her new shooting routine. And she finished her routine even after being upset. What didn't go well? I had a small window of time for her to complete her workout. I became impatient and then frustrated with her wasting time shooting the ball at the bottom of the rim. And then, I told her what and how to do the thing. What will I do differently next time? When I have time constraints, I will be aware of my impatience. When I feel impatient, I will take a deep breath and then ask myself, what is the most important thing that needs to happen right now? I will make a decision based on my values and not on my emotions and then I will proceed with caution. In other words, girl, I will make an adjustment. Remember, if we always do what we've always done, we will always get what we've always got. If we want something different, we are going to have to do something different. The invitation today is to make the adjustment. Let's live our best life!