In Episode 51 of the 1life podcast, host Behka White discusses crucial conversations for beginners, drawing from an experience with her daughters. She emphasizes the importance of healthy conflict resolution and provides five steps for navigating crucial conversations:
Behka reflects on how her daughters successfully navigated a conflict using these principles and encourages listeners to model healthy conflict resolution in their own lives.
Welcome to the One Life podcast with Becca White. I am your host and this is episode 51 Crucial Conversations for Beginners. Earlier this week, my daughters, ages 15 and 12, had some things to address with one another. I watched in fascination as my 15-year-old addressed her younger sister with a calm, measured tone of voice and clear examples. I watched my 12-year-old do exactly what we all do when receiving difficult feedback. She got defensive and felt attacked. After some discussion, some tears, you know, all the things a solution was found, but originally observing this, I did not think there were any winners on the night. So today, I thought it might be helpful to review the principles of having crucial conversations for kids. Number one, stop. Don't let things get out of control. Take a step back and try to calm down, since anger makes conflicts more difficult to resolve. Number two, say what the conflict is about. Make sure you both have a clear understanding of what is causing the disagreement and clarify what each of you wants or doesn't want. Number three, think of positive options. That's what's a fair solution that meets both of your needs. Number four, choose a positive option that everyone can agree on. And number five, respect the opinions of others, even if you can't agree. So those steps are stop, say think, choose and respect. Looking back at our experience the other night, I am proud of my daughters for a few things. First of all, there was no yelling. There was no name-calling, no nastiness. It was a conversation. Second, both of my girls hung in the discomfort of conflict until there was a resolution. Lastly, later in the week, my 12-year-old whose behavior had been corrected used her newfound understanding to gently inform and teach some visiting neighbors. So what I originally thought was non-winning evening turned out to be winning in several different ways. Who knew? My invitation today is to have crucial conversations, model what you want it to look like. We all have need to witness and practice healthy conflict resolution. We only get one life. Let's make it our best. [BLANK_AUDIO]
