(upbeat music) - Right here for the culture. Love you. - So we are recording a day late because Mira was convalescing yesterday from heat stroke, which you experienced out in the desert at like the peak of like the hot weather out here. - Yup, and twice, two days in a row. I was in the hot sun and then I went to, not my idea, the outlet malls on Labor Day. And I got heat stroke there. Strangers were like, is this bitch okay? - You were losing it that badly. - Yeah, like it's like, I've got naturally low blood pressure, which I'm told is very healthy, but it's very bad for heat and direct sunlight. And I just like, I just melt in the heat. Like I'm just like in the cold, I can walk for fucking miles and be totally fine. And then in the heat, I'm just like, I'm about to die. It got to, like, you know, when you touch hot water and it feels cold for a second, I got to that point and I said, I feel cold. And then everybody was like, oh, she's gonna die. - That's like the stage before like serious health collapse. - Yeah. - But you didn't have to go to the hospital or anything. - No, they got me like directly into like, like a really air conditioned car with a bunch of water afterwards. And I was kind of nauseated and like dizzy for like a while. But then it like, it went away slowly. And hopefully I didn't get brain damage or something like that. But who knows? - We'll find out over the course of the next hour. - Or we won't, 'cause all my other brain damage will just kind of like block it out. Cancel each other out. - Well, speaking of heat stroke, Burning Man just wrapped up, I think. I didn't hear anything about it. I mean, I follow it. I think I follow it on Instagram just because the pictures are always funny, but... - Yeah, I didn't hear about it either, really. - Yeah. - By the way, it's my dog right here. - Oh, hey. - They find a baby dog. - Hello, baby dog. - But last year, I believe it was last year, there was the big monsoon rain that flooded and created all this havoc out at Burning Man. But this year, I think it was just hot and sunny. It was like normal desert. - Yeah. It was just like back to the normal fucking insane weather that like no one wants to be in where it's like just dust storms constantly and fucking... My brother went once and we're both asthmatic and he came back like just wheezing so hard. I was like, "Dever fucking do that again, you're an idiot." - Yeah, you can't. I mean, with your low blood pressure and your asthma, you're not a candidate for the Black Rock Desert. - I would be on like one of those tricycles, like a giant front wheel, like being carried to the hospital tent where they have like homeopathic remedies. - I mean, it's gotten to be such a scene that there's probably air conditioned spaces on that. I bet they figured out how to get air conditioning out there. - I mean, absolutely, they have for a long time. It's just like generators. Like that fucking festival wastes like so much energy and it always ruins the land that it's on, which is like native land that has like very important soil and shed. It's like a fucking hell festival. - Well, it's become, I feel like it's just become this like fashion show. It's like, it's just like that. - It's really good. - No, no, I went in 1999. - And how are you wearing? - I mean, people were naked basically because you're out in the desert, but it wasn't like a, it feels like it's a catwalk. Like you see on Instagram, it's always like all these models out there. - Wait, you went to Burning Man? - Dude, I went to Burning Man in 1999. - And what was your experience like? - It was great. I thought it was awesome, but like this was way before it became what it has become with like people flying in on private jets and like. - Yeah, it's such a tech bro thing now. - Yeah, it was not that. It was still, I mean, I think it was the 15th year. - Oh, wow, early on. - Burning Man when I went. So I mean, yeah, this is almost 30 years ago that I went to this thing. So it was a much different scene and it was smaller. There were, I wanna say 23 or 24,000 people out there. - Much smaller. - And now it's like almost 100,000, right? Or something like that. - Yeah, it's like really, really huge now. It's such a like, my main memories that I've never been to Burning Man, but I grew up in Venice Beach. And when Burning Man happens, I swear to God, it's like all of the most annoying people in Venice just do like an exodus and for like a little while, you're like, oh, like it's nice here. Like it's pretty like calm. And we have like the, just the locals and none of these like annoying Burning Man be like it's, it's like a holiday in Venice. - Yeah, I don't know, it's complicated. I mean, I think it is cool Burning Man in like, like it's, I know and most people don't, they're just kind of annoyed by it. But like when you're out there, it's pretty like, it's pretty extraterrestrial and the art is really amazing. And it is like this exercise in personal freedom that I find appealing. Like you really can kind of do whatever you want out there. And I like it as a laboratory for that, but I don't like how it's become this sort of like, scenic, moneyed. - Yeah, honestly, like I'd rather go to the Met and Sea Art, which is air conditioned. And then I could just be slutty in my personal life. And it's kind of like, you know, you get, you get the Burning Man experience, the Burning Man. - I guess, but so what is going on? Oh, you know what, I, before we get into like your stories for the, you know, for the bulk of the pop culture discussion, I do want to flag something that I've been noticing this week and it has to do with Brad Pitt and George Clooney promoting their new movie that they're in together. They're like co-stars, you know, in a movie. And so they were in-- - What movie is like a romantic movie? - No, I can't remember the name of it, but it's like the two of them are, I mean, it's in this story, we could probably-- - Like the hot guys, like the 40 year old hot guys. - More like 60, but they're in Venice in Italy where the film festival is happening to promote it. And so they, you know, Venice has this romance and it's like trying to kind of recreate the old glamor of Hollywood. - Yeah, I grew up in a carnival town that was made to be a replica of it. - Right, well, but I feel like this is the thing about Hollywood. It's like, I feel like it's over. I feel like-- - What? - That film festival or just Hollywood in general? - Just the whole glamor, this glamorous idea of Hollywood and movies, like, I feel like it's done. I feel like it's done. And so you're trying to do that still, which I kind of get, 'cause I kind of miss when you went to the movie theater and it was cool and fun to go see a movie. But I also-- - It's just a movie theater, it's like a movie, you know that, right? - I know, but not like the way that it used to be. Most people are just watching their phones. - In the, when is all this time you went to a movie theater brand? - Like, six or seven years ago. Like, I can't even remember the last time I went to a movie. - So like, just so you know, it is still a movie theater and it is kind of magical, 'cause it's a movie theater. It's the same, it hasn't changed. - When are they gonna bring the arc light back? If they did, like, you know, this is a little adventure. - It's the tragedy of like my fucking life that like the arc light closed and somebody bought the fucking set. Was it Quentin Tarantino who bought the Center in Madone? - I don't know. - Someone bought the Center in Madone and I can't remember if they're gonna like use it privately as like private screenings or if they're gonna try to reopen it. But like losing the, for anyone who doesn't know, the Center in Madone is a dome next to the arc light theater that has like a giant screen, but it like, you know, it's like you shaped because it's in a dome and then the seating is in like a specific way. So like you can see the movie from a perspective where it's all flat and it like makes the movie like an incredible experience to see. - But it's closed and like if we can't keep that shit open in Hollywood, like it isn't like, I feel like the movie, that's like a sign that the movies are sort of like fading into oblivion. - I mean, the theater is for sure. - What's that? - Like COVID was really hard for theater and a lot of them closed. - Yeah, that's right. But I feel like they're trying to make a comeback. Like, look, I'm a fan of movies. So like, I hope it does come back. But like seeing Brad Pitt and George Clooney. - You feel like movies are making a comeback. Is that what you're saying? - I just think it's different now. It's just like a cheaper, stupider culture where it's like, oh yeah, we're all watching shit on our phones and I'm grumpy. - You watch, like do you watch like independent movies? Like not just like Barbie or Oppenheim or whatever. - I mean, if I can stay awake at night, I'm just, I don't have time. I don't know who, like who has time to sit around watching? - That sound is my dog doing like a hairball cough, by the way. I mean, I'm unemployed personally, so. - You can watch movies. - Also, I just love movies. Like I like watching movies, even ones that I fall asleep during or fucking weird ones. Like I think I might have like a sophomore in film school, maybe senior in film school kind of taste in movies, which is not me trying to sound cool 'cause it is kind of lame, honestly. - Well, I don't know. I just feel like, I just wanted to say that like seeing Brad Pitt and George Clooney, like in each other's company and then like with all of these cameras on them. - In each other's arms and a warm embrace. - That just seems goofy. They're both so handsome. Like I have this theory that people know exactly how hot they are and I know the beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it's all subjective, but like we know who's hot. - Look, I look in the mirror and I see Cookie Monster. So like, I don't know, I don't know what's going on. - Maybe we can't judge ourselves, you know? - Other can judge for sure. - Well, actually, but this is my argument. I am saying that people can judge themselves. - Well, I think it depends on the person. Like I know hot people who are just like very aware that they're hot. They're like, I'm hot, people like me. That's it, I'm a hot person. And then I know hot people who have like no idea and I want to be like, Jesus, you could do so much like hot people privilege shit and you're just like insecure and you don't even know it. - And to maybe so. I feel like Brad Pitt and George Clooney know, how could they not know, the world has been telling them their entire lives, like you're hot. - For sure. They like think that they're hot like to a degree where they're like, never gonna have a happy relationship. - And they, I think like are like, we gotta be cool, but now they're 60. It's pretty hard to be cool and you're, I mean, I guess if you just don't give a fuck, that's cool, but. - It's cool if you just like age normally. Like you could be a 60 year old on a boat, that's fine, but just be like, I'm a 60 year old. I'm not trying to be like a youthful fuck, like. - Yeah, I guess like, well, I don't even, I don't even know what I'm trying to say. I think I'm trying to say that like I felt bad for them in some way, like just, you tell them. They were just like, yeah, they're just like so, they're kind of having to do this to promote the movie, like go through this ritual. - We're like, what, like 10 minutes into the podcast and like so far you've been like, movies are making a comeback. And I feel bad for George Clooney and Brad Pitts are so hot, like are you on drugs? - It's just, it's just gotta be. And then they go out to dinner. I was just this whole thing to like. - Oh, they call it a dinner. Oh my God. - It's just, I don't know. I get why these people just want to like hide out on their estates and not go out. I don't, to go out in public. - I wasn't famous and I hadn't missed it yet. - Yeah, right. I mean, that's the dream, but. - Hide in my apartment now. - So anyway, good for them for being fabulously well to do and famous. - All right, well terrible for them. Famous handsome movie stars. - Famed handsome movie stars, Brad Pitt and George Clooney. - I think they're like, I think they might actually like privately think to themselves, like yeah, here we are, the two of us. Like we're the Robert Redford and Paul Newman of our generation. - I only know, did Robert Redford kill Natalie Wood or was that a different role? - No, that was Robert Wagner. - Okay, then I don't know who those people are. - But I mean, this is a legend. I mean, we don't know that that's been like debated for, you know. - Wait, what's the legend? - What happened to Natalie Wood? I don't think we have a firm understanding. - Well, if Christopher Walken's old ass would fuck and tell us what the fuck you saw on that boat, then maybe we'd have a fucking clear understanding. - And here I wish so badly that I could do like an excellent Christopher Walken impression of him. - Oh, who could do a bad one, just try it. - I don't know what happened on the boat. I was on the boat, Natalie Wood died. - And she drowned in the water. I can't do it. - These are like genuinely the worst Christopher Walken impressions I've ever heard of because I'm nothing like it. - I love people who can really do impressions. Like nothing makes me laugh harder and like more reflexively than hearing. Like there's something about it in like the humans. - What's this out? - Like my wife will make fun of me 'cause I can listen to Dana Carvey do his like bits and it just makes me laugh so hard because when somebody can actually like sound, just like somebody, that's such a fucking weird talent. - I can do it with family members really well. Like I can really make like a Thanksgiving table like crack the fuck up with like an impression of like my dad or grandpa or mom. Like that I've been honing for a long time. - But do you sound like them? - Do you sound like, oh you do. - Because my mom and I sound alike. And so like if I talk like my mom, like everybody, it's just like exactly right. And like none of my other siblings sound quite as much like my mom. So it's like, it's an easy impression for me to do. - Yeah, but like some people just have like some weird gift where they can like hear it and recreate it's like a. - My friend Alex is like that. He'll just like do an impression like Alex, have you been practicing that in the mirror? Like what the fuck? - Yeah, well I used to work with a guy. It's kind of like this tech nerd. He was a real sweet guy, he's young, but he had that gift and he could do an Australian accent like perfectly to the point where he would go out and like for fun, he would like pretend to be Australian when he was out. - That's so funny. I would truly do that. - He would meet Australians and they would think that he was from Australia. Like he could fool anybody. - Wow, that's impressive. Like for Americans one thing, but fooling an actual Australian, that's really impressive. - Yeah, it was super funny. It was super funny when he like went into that mode. So anyway, I'm glad that Brad and George are friends and hanging out and making movies. - Brad hopes you're okay. As one Brad to another Brad, he hopes you're okay. - It's just, I just feel bad. It's like you become caricatured I think in the culture as like handsome leading men. And then the two of you to get, you know, are together and it's like this component. - You pay for being one of the hottest men in the world. It's like, okay, I'm like the hottest man in the world. But like, I don't know, I have to go on a boat sometimes. Like it doesn't seem like that bad of a pain. - No, listen, nobody's gonna be playing violence for these guys, but it is sort of goofy. - Yeah, it's goofy. It's really goofy. - It's goofy when they hang out together. It's maybe a lot less goofy when they're just like on their own, but like when you put the two of them together and like there's all these people taking their picture, it's just a. - Goofy when Brad pits with like a super hot like 20 year old model or something. Like that's kind of goofy. - Well, he's dating a much younger woman, of course. - Yeah, of course, you know, it's like Taylor Swift said, I'll get older, but your lovers will stay my age. - Right. So what else is going on Mira? What's happening in the popular culture? - Our next story is, I would say not as, it features like the two scariest women alive, I think, in my personal opinion, which are Anna Wintour and Naomi Campbell. - Uh oh. - Anna Wintour, Brad, you may not know. I don't know if you're a big fan of Anna Wintour or not. - I actually watched a documentary on her called The September issue, I assume that, yeah. - That's a great movie. I highly, I highly recommend it, love that movie. It shows Anna Wintour in a way that like, I think that probably even she was upset with, like seeing her just without her sunglasses, she was probably pissed. So Anna Wintour famously is very punctual and gets very upset when people are not punctual. Like doesn't matter how famous they are. Like they need to be like 10 minutes early or they're late. - That's how I am. - Yeah, she's like that. You're basically the Anna Wintour of podcasts. - Yeah, I'm always a little bit early. - You know, and you know what? I'm gonna just, just to respect Anna Wintour. Okay, there we go. So Anna Wintour, editor in Chief of Vogue magazine, although I think she stepped down recently, but whatever. It's New York Fashion Week, or it was recently. And there was a, there was a show called Fashion Rose Fashion Show and Style Awards, which sounds like a fake thing. I don't know what, there is so many names. Like that's- - As a writer, I'm offended by how like cumbersome that is. - I like wanna edit it. I'm like, okay, let's take out like a couple of words. Like maybe not fashion twice. - That sounds like something out of Zoolander. - Yeah, right, exactly. It sounds like the competition where they have to take their pants off like, or take their underwear out off with their pants off. - Yeah, yeah. - So on Tuesday night, she was presenting, I guess, this show. And she took a little dig at Naomi Campbell, who I guess is not, was not just late this time, but it's like chronically late to this show and other shows. Like it's just late all the time. So like, and she's such a successful model that Anna Wintour, it's like one of the few people Anna Wintour can't just be like, fuck her, she's out, ruin her career. And so I think she's just like sitting there pissed that Naomi Campbell is always late to things and like can't do much about it. - See, but here's where I'm gonna be a contrarian. I actually like Naomi Campbell for like fucking with Anna Wintour a little bit and like just showing up late and pissing her off. I like that. - She, I also like it and think it's funny and I'm on the same, but I think Naomi Campbell was kind of heavily involved in the Epstein-Glenn Maxwell thing in a way I don't fully understand, but people like really hate her for it. - Yeah, she's like pretty chaotic. I don't know much about her, but I feel like whenever I'm, I feel like on a semi-regular basis, I'm reading about some crazy shit she's done. Like she gets into a slap fight at a restaurant or whatever it is. - She's like on a physical fight recently, didn't she? I read that too. - Something like that, I don't know. - She once famously threw her phone at her maid's head and like caused her like serious damage that like Naomi Campbell had to pay for. Like she is a strange, difficult, terrifying woman, but so is Anna Wintour. And I like that she's like giving Anna a run for her money. - Yeah, exactly. I like, I mean, I'm gonna say that I support this conflict. - I agree. I think it's like funny to, especially funny to upset Anna Wintour in a way that like she can't do anything to Naomi Campbell. So she has to do what she did, which is just make like a little dig in a speech. And when she does that, of course, it's like, you know, reported everywhere. She rarely does. She said, "I'm a very punctual person. "And I have the honor of presenting tonight "to someone who is often late." She said and then presented an award to Naomi Campbell. - Is Anna Wintour a nice, she's not a nice person. I mean, is she as bad as like the caricature of her? - A hundred percent. Apparently Anna Wintour was so annoyed that she left immediately after her speech round. I met Anna Wintour once. We have, we have a role that we have to say when a celebrity has mentioned that we've met in Los Angeles. I was, for, I reason, even I don't understand was like plus one to her like, it was like a private fashion show for like up and coming designers that she does every year at the Chateau Mermal. And I like was addressed in like my friend's designer clothes 'cause I like don't have any. So it was probably like three seasons ago or whatever. And I probably didn't fit me right now, probably like and like she, like my friend was like, "Oh, hi." And like, you know, shook her hand. And then I swear to God, Anna Wintour like, I was like, "Hi, nice to meet you." And I like put my hand out like that. And Anna Wintour goes and walks away. - Because of your outfit. - I assume so. - Oh my God, fuck her. - Yeah, then like my hand out like this, just kind of just, and like, least. And I was kind of like, okay, for all the experience I could have meeting Anna Wintour, that's kind of the one that I want. - Yeah, right. That's who she is. I mean, that's like sort of like the Meryl Streep, like version of her. - It is apparently an incredibly accurate portrayal. Like a lot of that shit is just exactly how Anna Wintour is. - And like we should, I mean, I'll defend like powerful women acting like powerful men often behave, right? She's just like sort of a. - Not me, that's not my feminism. - Okay, but I mean like, I just feel like maybe she gets shit on more than guys who do like that and worse. - And she does, yeah, like I think there's probably like so many men who just act that way all the time and don't ever, like no one ever says anything. - Right, it's like, but that's what I mean. It's like she's sort of like unique in that way and that she's a woman in this position of power and she sort of flexes and is kind of a. - She's like, I'm not gonna smile at you if I don't like you. Like I'm not gonna shake your hand if I don't want to. So the way that like a terrible male CEO would and not get shit florid. - See, I remember I have this theory that everybody if you actually spend time with them probably got, most everybody's got some sort of redeeming quality, I bet. - She's a good mother apparently. - Yeah, I just, I think like, I don't know. - Like she loves her daughter. Like she will like cancel like big events to just like hang out with her daughter. Like she's like a genuinely good mom. - I want to hang out with her. - Same, I want to hang out with her and what I want to do is give her an edible so strong that she no longer has control over like the animal tour. 'Cause you know like she's never doing drugs to the point where like she's having fun because that means that she kind of is letting go of like control over herself. And like she would just never do that. But I want to make her do that. - I want her to just have to hang out with me and my t-shirt and just like somebody who has absolutely no interest in like high fashion. She would probably find me just like a complete zero, right? - Or she would look at you and be like, maybe this is the next fashion thing. Maybe it's like, you know, we're going low effort fashion this spring. - That's right. Maybe I am at the, I'm on the crest of the wave. Maybe I'm setting a new trend. I've never understood how this shit works. I don't like the idea that this woman has all of this outsized power to like create these fashion trends in Vogue magazine. I feel like there's always all these outfits on the catwalk that nobody ever actually wears and yet everyone's like, - Well, let me then allow me to explain. There's a very fundamental maybe like aspect of fashion week that you might be missing, which is that like there's ready to wear clothes, which is like the clothes that you get at the Louis Vuitton store or whatever. And then there's runway dresses, which are only on the runway, not sold in normal stores. And like they would only ever be used for like a celebrity on the red carpet or for nothing. So it's basically like just an art show for designers not meant to be sold even. - Yeah, I guess I sort of knew that. I just find it like a whole, I just, I find the whole world of it a little bit repellent. It just seems like. - I find the whole world in general a little bit repellent. So I don't understand. - But I don't wanna like the thing too is I don't wanna, I mean, it's just not my thing. If it is your thing, it's like fashion is your thing. I do think it's art. And I think that, you know, people like clothes, they like to look cool. I mean, you know, the fashion industry is deeply toxic, but also I watch every award show just for the red carpet 'cause like I love dresses and their construction and fashion and all that stuff, you know? But it's hard balance 'cause it's also really toxic and also very like bad for women's bodies often and all of this shit. So it's like, you gotta keep like a balance there, the distance maybe. - I feel like most women love dresses and fashion. - That is, that's a statement people have been saying for hundreds of years, it's true. I mean, I think it's like women don't have a choice really, right? It's like either I'm gonna wear jeans and a T-shirt all the time and then I'm gonna be a plain woman according to everyone who looks at me or you're gonna have some kind of sense of, even when you're wearing jeans and a T-shirt, it's like the scene in "Double Worst Product" where she's like, you think you just picked out that lumpy sweater out of nowhere, just like fell out of a coconut tree. Actually like it's cerulean, which came from like Chanel 1985 and then went into bells and move whatever the fuck, like that kind of thing. That was the best part of "Double Worst Product" to me because it showed that like as a woman and as a man, everyone is making fashion choices. Nobody is not making choices. - That's right. - Everybody is. Like that's interesting to me. - Yeah, like not caring or quote unquote, not caring is a choice. - Doesn't exist. It's like you do care about what's comfortable or about like, you know, whether your sweatshirt is black, it's everybody does. - I just don't have the time or the money to go out and like really hunt for the clothes that would best suit me. I often think that if I had like endless money, I would hire somebody to just do it for me. - Brad, just take me to a mall with you and I will tell you what to wear. I'm so good at dressing men. I dressed all the men. I dressed my stuff dad. Like I dress all the men in my life and they all look great. - Really? - I do. - You just let me know. - I want somebody to come to my house with like options and just get like. - Give me budget and your measurements, I'll do it. - Jesus Christ, I gotta make some money. - Being a personal shopper for an eccentric rich person is like secretly the job I wish I had. - I feel like there's somebody out there who would hire you. - See, if anyone's listening who wants to hire me, like I come from a long line of very fashionable women. I've got credentials. I know how to sew. I know how to find weird shit. I mean, I would be a great personal shopper. - All right, you heard it here first. - You know, just advertising myself. - So what else is happening out there? - Well, our next story is about somebody who Anna Wintour would certainly like shame into near suicide, I have to imagine. Which is horrific, but it is somebody from, let's see. I'm not just looking at my phone, I'm looking at a story. 1,000 pound sisters, which I guess is like a reality show, like on fucking that network where they do that. I used to watch my 600 pound life, which is really dark and I assume similar. - So wait, these are actual sisters who weigh 1,000 pounds? - Well, so I guess they did, but like I'm looking at pictures of this one sister that the story is about, they both were sisters who weighed 1,000 pounds, but it seems like she for sure doesn't weigh 1,000 pounds anymore. It feels exploitative, right? - Absolutely, yes. - And by the way, can human beings really weigh 1,000 pounds? - I mean, I think these sisters are proof of it, they weighed 1,000 pounds, they're probably-- - Or maybe it was like combined, they were 1,000 pounds, you can't be 1,000 pounds, can you? - I guess it must have been combined, let's see, 1,000 pound sisters. 'Cause it does seem like a fucking lot for a person to weigh, that doesn't weigh. - There's no way. There's no way. - They're really fucking big, holy shit. So combined, they're over 1,000 pounds. - Okay, I get that. - Yeah, they're like six to 700 pounds each. - Jesus. - But looking at pictures for sure, this sister has lost weight, and she is so, the story recovering is when I didn't even know until Brad sent it to me and I'm like, what the fuck? Her name is Amy Slaton, and I guess she said that a good chunk of her skin is missing from what she says is a camel bite. - Oh my god. - They obtained a photo of her flesh wound, which Brad looked at and was like, oh, this is disgusting. And I was like, where is it? I want to see it. - Yeah, it's gross. - It's really gross. So she said that it was a camel bite. She was at the zoo, I guess, in some kind of safari type of thing that the zoo had, I guess, where the camel's like had. - Well, no, it's a safari park. It's like a little bit more, it's more of like a kind of earthier zoo, maybe. - It's like open, like a wandering around, I guess? Okay, so then, so she gets bitten by a camel. She gets taken out of the zoo in a stretcher. - And she got bit on her arm. - She got bit on her arm. I mean, it's just very clear that she did not need a stretcher for, like, her arm wound was bad, but like. - Maybe she passed out, dude. If I got bit like a camel and my arm opened up like that, I'd probably lie down. - It was pretty bad. You could see like the fat under her skin and stuff. It was gross. Maybe she passed out. But it's not even the whole story 'cause, so the zoo owner says it's not a camel bite. She's fully lying. So we don't know what exactly happened. But after this, somehow she ended up getting arrested because police found psychedelic mushrooms and marijuana and two children in her car. Her kids were just sitting in the car. - Yeah, two kids in her car, she had a zoo. Why are you getting the car? - It's summer, it's warm. It's like at the end of summer, but it's still hot. 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Once again, that's code otherppl50 at factor meals.com/otherppl50. 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active. Factor meals, check it out. Eat good food. And by the way, you think she's shrooming at this safari park? Right, so she's probably high as shit and she got bit by camel. That would fuck you up, I think, if you were-- - Yeah, oh my God, that would be so fucking scary if you were just like tripping balls and then you could see your fucking arm falling apart 'cause the camel bit it, dude, and like a camel of all things? Like today, I didn't know they fucking bit. Like, what the fuck? - Well, look, I think that's the reason it unsettles me. Is that like these animals, they kind of look sort of docile and slow and sort of dimwitted, but then they got those teeth. - Dude, I don't trust them. - I don't either. - I don't fucking trust them. I don't want to touch them. Like I recently met a goat who was really elderly and I pet him and sat next to him. And that is like, that's the most I'll do. I don't like, oh, the animal's docile or whatever. Like, okay, a cow, fine camel, absolutely not. I don't want it to be anywhere near that shit. - No, I mean, I remember reading a story. It stayed with me, I still remember it, about a llama and how a llama attacked and badly wounded its owner or somebody who came near it because I think it was a male llama who felt threatened. And they have, they have like, I think they have like really sharp teeth. - Right, they're like big teeth, they're like intense. - Yeah, and when they come after you, like in that way, they go after you're growing, like instinctively. They try to like, 'cause it's a, I think they felt like threatened. - They're not even meat-eating animals, they're not going after you for food, they're like going after you for territory. - It's something like this, but I'm like, I would, nothing would terrify me more than a llama coming at me. - My feeling is like, I love animals. I think they're like really neat. I have like very much enjoyed going to like the, can't remember what it's called, but there's like a wildlife rescue center where they have really cool shit there. I pet a sloth there one time. My feeling about wild animals is that I respect them. I respect that they live in a place that is not anything that I know about. I respect that they don't want me near them. And like, that's cool. We're in our own little thing. I don't want to be near you touching you in your space and like, you don't have to get in mind. That's it. I respect their thing. I don't want to touch them. I don't want to be involved. They don't want me near them. It's fine. - Just leave them the fuck alone. - Leave them the fuck alone. Like I, and like, you know, I pet this sloth. I loved it. I cried sloths are my favorite animal. It was incredible. But it was like an elderly sloth. It was just fucking sitting there. Like, well, it's not like being in like a fucking safari park and touching a camel. Like, I don't want that shit. And like, what's a sloth going to do to me? It's smaller than me. That's different. - Yeah. I mean, I guess they sloths have those long claws, right? I guess they could. - Yeah, but they were like... (laughing) It's like, they can't do shit. - It's like slow. - It was like, if you were high enough, Mira, if you had enough of an edible in you and the sloth came at you in slow motion, you might be moving so slowly that you could not get out of the way. - Let me tell you, Brad, I was high on like 200 milligrams of THC. Like, I was on another fucking planet. I was too far from Earth to even consider the idea that a sloth could possibly hurt me. I was just like, this looks like a muppet, but it's a real animal. And like, just tear streaming down my eye face. Like, oh my God, I'm feeding in an apple and it's taking in this little claws. (laughing) - Oh my God. I don't think I've ever pet... I've never... - You should be taking your kids to this place 'cause they do little animal experiences where you don't get to touch every animal, but they'll take you closer to the special monkeys or whatever and tell you all about them. And you get a special, you get to see the giraffes and all that, it's really, it's fun. - All right. I kinda get to... I feel like their zoos are sort of depressing, but you know... - That's why I go to the Wildlife Rescue Center. They get animals who are like, like we're at chronic pets and we're being taken care of terribly and then they like put them in a nice area and take care of them. - Like Mike Tyson's like old pet tiger is there. - Yeah, exactly, except they don't have a tiger. That would be really cool though. - So I hope that this like Amy Slaton, the 1,000 pound sister, hope she's okay. I kinda wanna know more, you know? Like this is one of those stories where I need more details. I wanna know if she was high when this happened. - I mean, I've got like a lot of questions for sure, but like looking, and I'm no expert, looking at the wound, it really doesn't look like a camel bite. Like I don't know exactly what a camel bite looks like, but the wound, it's like, you know, like this will maybe like an inch or two long and then like the skin is peeled off like that. - So what would it be if it's not a camel bite? I mean, by the way, how do we know what a camel bite even looks like anyway? - We don't. So this is just me like totally conjecturing, but like-- - But there's not like teeth marks. Like you don't see it. - Yeah, it's like a teen like cut. It almost looks like somebody just literally cut the skin and then peeled it. - Well, this is the thing. I feel like llamas and camels are maybe from like the same like general, like, and they might have like razor sharp teeth. Why do I wanna say llamas? Yeah, so maybe it just like sliced her. - Maybe, yeah, like God, I don't know. Maybe she was too high and got too close to it or something, but like the person who owns the zoo is adamant that it is not a bite wound and nobody saw her get bit by a camel, but it was the police as a camel bite. So everyone's referring to it like that. - Maybe Amy Slighton wants to sue this safari park. She's gonna file a lawsuit. - Like, yeah, I mean, whatever, get your money girl. I guess. (laughing) - Get your fucking kids. Don't leave your kids in the car. - Yeah, dude, that part like they really just mentioned that just offhand like, oh, there was a bunch of drug and two kids in the car. That seems like the main thing to me. Like I thought all kinds of drugs in my car all the time, probably, but not kids. - Yeah, like just like leave your kids in the car with a bag of weed and some more firms. - Wait, they popped a shop. - Go inside the safari park. Was she by herself? Maybe she was really tripping. Like, who knows? - Why would she go to a zoo with children and then not let the children go into the zoo? That's like going to Disneyland and be like, wait in the car, kid. - That's what I'm saying. Like this is maybe the most mysterious story we've ever covered. Like it's really strange. - I'm gonna be following this because it's weird. Like I, maybe she just like went in the bathroom and like cut herself and was like, oh, I got injured like trying to get money. Like, 'cause they made a good point in the article that there's no bruising. There's nothing outside of the cut at all. There's no marks, there's no anything. It's really like a clean cut on her arm. - I feel like you could write a novel about this. Like honestly, if you just started here. - Yeah, well, just like a kind of like Backwoods reality TV star, the whole thing, the whole setup and like what happened, it could become like-- - Very like Fargo like movie involving like different scams and like people at the zoo and stuff. Like, or like a documentary if they've got like weird enough personalities. (laughing) - Yeah, I don't know. But we'll have to keep an eye on it. Maybe we'll learn more. - Yeah, I'll keep it updated the way that you do with "Hawk Toa" which we will discuss later in the show. - Yeah, well, but before we get to "Hawk Toa", I have a question, like I flag this story and it's about how Meghan the Stallion, who I do know, I know who Meghan the Stallion is, I like some of her-- - Can we hear her songs? - Does she sing a, what is that song? God damn it. - You got it, Brad. - Ratchet. Nasty, boogie. - Ratchet, nasty, boogie. Ratchet, yeah. - I like that song. I like that song. - That one where he goes barre yada yada yada yada yada. - Maybe, I don't know. I like the one where she's like ratchet. - Nasty. - Nasty, boogie. - That's a great song. She's got many songs. - What's happening? - So, okay, so the deal here, do you know anything about the Nicki Minaj making the Stallion beef? - No, okay, so first things first. We've been seeing stories about this with Kendrick Lamar, I know, and Drake. - That was hilarious and insane. - This term, I object, like right off the bat, I object to the word beef. - We're beefing. - We haven't been used for a really long time. - Get a better word. I don't like it, it makes me feel grossed out. I don't want a beef with anyone. I don't want to hear about people beefing with each other. - An emology of beefing. - Yeah, exactly. Well, you have a beef. Like, you have a beef with somebody. It means you have a problem with somebody. - Like, how did the word beef start being used for that? - Exactly. Like, let's, we need to cancel this word. It's just not right. - Wait, here we go. The word beefing is derived from the verb beef and the earliest known noun use of beefing was in the 1899 Daily Pick a Yune in New Orleans. - Like the picky and it's the paper in New Orleans. - Pick a Yune is out it is? - I think that's how you pronounce it. But yeah, it was the, it might still be the paper in New Orleans. - I can't, nothing is saying why, they have the earliest use of it. Nothing is saying like why the fuck, it's the word beef. It is kind of gross though, right? It's kind of like what, like beef, like yeah, we have like, I don't know, fish with each other or like-- - What the fuck? And by the way, I should say that as a person who has Louisiana roots, it doesn't surprise me necessarily that the origin of this usage is to be found in Louisiana. - Do you have Louisiana roots? - Yeah, my entire family, both my parents. - I saw Indiana. - No, that's where I was raised. But both of my, my whole extended family is South Louisiana, like, you know. - You know, this is a side note, but I did my 23 and me recently. I am 6% Native American. - What, which? - So I'm native to the Mariana Islands, which is a US territory that includes Guam, but I'm not from Guam, I'm from like the southern part of the Mariana Islands where people from Mexico immigrated. And because it's like, but I'm like an indigenous person to like that area when it was not the United States. And now it is, which means that I'm technically, I guess, Native American. - What is, has that changed your, your sense of yourself? Like, are you going to start? - Oh yeah, completely. I'm like, oh, like my fucking relatives are fucking slutty as hell. I'm like all over the place. I have like some Arab, I'm like 26.1% Ashkenazi Jew, which basically doesn't make sense. Like, I'm all over the place. - You really are. I mean, but I kind of am too. And like, I'm scared to do 23 and me because I feel like the government is going to have my DNA or something, I don't know. - Have any of your family members done it? - Ah, I don't know. Maybe my parents, I have no idea. - If you've done one is done it, then they've got all your shit in your fucked. - Fuck. - And like they will use it to give to police departments to rat out like future relatives who do crimes. - Great. Glad we got that sorted out. - But then my mom and sister and brother all did it. So I was like, all right, well, I'm fucked anyways. But, well, I was trying to connect this to Nicki Minaj, which I don't think she's from anywhere near Guam. - Why are they beefing? - Oh, she's from Queens, what am I saying? So you don't know why they're beefing at all? - No. - And apparently, and apparently Megan Thee Stallion doesn't know why either. She's saying, I don't have no idea why I'm beefing with Nicki Minaj. - Which is really fucking funny 'cause like it was a whole fucking massive thing. Like, I feel like she's lying, but okay. So like, how do I explain this from the very beginning? Let's see. So things turn sour. So like Cardi B and Nicki Minaj have always had like a really intense beef. I think Nicki Minaj said something bad about Cardi B, I don't know, but like Cardi B once like threw a shoe at Nicki Minaj at an event and like they like almost gotten like a physical altercation. Like it's really bad. So Megan Thee Stallion did a song with Cardi B a while ago and that kind of ignited the issues with Nicki Minaj. Now I do feel like I should mention, beefs between pop stars and artists are truly often record label synergy. Like you will often see the people who are beefing just like Drake and Kendrick Lamar are on different like imprints of the same label. They'll be on like different like labels under Atlantic. And it's like almost always the case. I don't know if it's a case with Nicki Minaj. - Well, I was just gonna say, this smells like a conspiracy to me. It feels like a business strategy. - It's not even a, yeah, it's a business strategy. It's like not even a conspiracy. It's just something that happens all the time. - But they are conspiring to create the false impression that they are beefing just because this is the thing, that this is how fucked up the culture we're in is. - It seems pretty intense actually, but. - The only way to cut through, the only way to cut through the noise is like a, like we've, it's been proven that a beef, like a public fight between two celebrities is enough to like arrest a new cycle. And so people will do it just to get like their name out there. - 100%, like it's like people will do it when a new album is coming out to try to get more. I mean, I think of like the Kendrick Lamar and Drake beef and how they literally like had a beef that everybody knew about, but waited to come out with the songs that were like specifically targeting each other until after Taylor Swift's new album cycle was done. - Right. - Which is weird to me. But making this stallion and Nicki Minaj, it seems like it might be kind of personal because, okay, so back like a couple years ago, Megan the Stallion was dating this guy named Tori Lane. Have you heard of him? - No, I have no idea who that is. - I barely do either. I only know him cause he dated Megan the Stallion, but he like was such a piece of shit that he had a gun shot at her feet and was like a dance to Megan the Stallion, an abusive, horrible man. - Yeah, he actually shot at the ground. - And he shot her in the foot, like right in the foot. She got shot, she couldn't walk for a long time. Like it was like serious, he's in jail now. Like seriously, a fucking crazy thing. - What are you doing hanging out with this guy? - Exactly, and so, you know, and she doesn't anymore, she press charges really hard and now he's in prison, so good for her, but Nicki Minaj is still friends with him. And I think it should be noted, like Nicki Minaj is not a good person. She is married to a serial sex offender of underage women, literally. Like on, I don't even know his fucking name. He's like not even that famous, but he is like literally on Megan's registry or whatever, Megan's law. Like you can look him up and it'll be like Nicki Minaj's house, like can't live near school, like fucking insane. So, okay, so Nicki Minaj is a bad person. Megan the Stallion seems kind of cool. So she did a song with Cardi B, which just made Nicki hate her, like just pissed. So Nicki responded to that song, which didn't mention Nicki at all, and called Megan Bigfoot, referring to getting shot in the foot. - Whoa. - Insanely fucked up, like insanely fucked up. And then Megan, she responded in another diss track where she said, "You need to worry less about Megan the Stallion and worry more about Megan's law." Which like really fucking got her ass with that one. That was like-- - Dude. - And so Nicki like went insane, was like furious, was on Instagram live for like three hours every night, like high on cocaine, tweeting nonstop, like just being fucking psychotic, like basically like getting the whole world on Megan's side because she was such a psychopath about it. And she started it to begin with. Okay, so now Megan the Stallion is on the cover of, what is it, she's on the cover of Billboard. And in her interview with Billboard, she says that she doesn't know why she has beef with Nicki, she said she has no idea. Like she said, "I still to this day don't know what the problem is. I don't even know what could be reconciled because I to this day truly do not know what the problem is." - I think these people need to grow the fuck up. I mean, you're a grown adult and you're making diss tracks. Like there was a funny tweet when the whole Kendrick Lamar Drake thing was circulating. - I had so many opinions about that one that happened. - Well right, well I mean like I don't understand it that well but there was, I couldn't help but see on Twitter that there was like a 24 hour period where like Kendrick Lamar just unleashed a series of quote unquote diss tracks. - And it got like the stakes when higher and higher it was fucking insane. - And somebody on Twitter was like, the reason I like beefing is because it essentially has like grown men writing mean poems to one another, which is what it is. It's so juvenile. - It's so juvenile. - We already mean poems about each other. I mean, it's the kind of thing where like girls will do that and we all have kind of an understanding that like it's a little gay, like if you hate a girl so much that you are focused on her intently like that it's like a little blatantly homosexual, like it just is. And Kendrick and Drake would never ever admit that. - You may be so, yeah, maybe I mean. - I mean, I don't think either of them are homosexuals but like it is like writing, you're writing a poem for another man that you feel something about. I mean, listen, we all have conflict in our lives with people, but like I cannot imagine. - I mean, that beef was insane because like it started out normal where it started out with Kendrick, like, you were in Degrassi, you know, you were in a volume wheelchair in Degrassi, you were raised rich, you're Canadian, fuck you, whatever, normal shit and then Drake being like, Kendrick, you're short. And as soon as Drake was like, Kendrick, you're short, like, you know, you're five feet tall or whatever, Kendrick came back and was basically wrote a song that was a letter to Drake's mother saying, I'm sorry your son is a pedophile. - Oh god. - Just upped the stakes, like, so high. He was like, Kendrick, you're short. And he was like, really? I'm gonna tell your mother that you fuck kids. Like, what the fuck? Like, holy shit. - One second. - Brad's elderly and dying. - Brad and dying. - I had a cold for like three weeks. - Oh god. - It's the worst. (drill whirring) - I'll cut this out. - Don't cut it out. (laughing) - Shit, it's like, so annoyed. - Carrie has it too. Carrie has it too. - Not COVID though, right? - No, river had it. I got it, Carrie got it. Carrie had to go to the doctor yesterday 'cause the cold had spread into an ear infection. I mean, it's like truly, like, I usually like process things and like, you know, I get sick, but like not like this, not like four weeks on end, but-- - That's all, that's exactly what COVID was like for me. Like, Tyler also got an ear infection. And I like, my ears were all fucked up for like, so long, just a total nightmare. - Yeah, well, where were we, like, uh-- - So, right, the Nicki Minaj making the stallion beef. So like, Megan the stallion wrote this like, incredibly cutting line in response to like, Nicki just being like a, sorry, like just like, fucking being like a big foot, like she was shot in the foot by her abusive boyfriend. And she's making fun of her in the song. - Does she have big feet? - Maybe, I don't know, it's possible. - Yeah, I want to know how, I mean, not to be weird, but I mean, yeah, now I want to know. I want to know how big Megan, what's that? - Then Nicki Minaj, if she's a size 10, Nicki's in the right. - Yeah, yeah, I mean, maybe she's got gigantic feet. I mean, I don't know. - I've kind of got gigantic feet. - What size shoe do you wear? - I'm like a nine, nine and a half, so it's not like that gigantic, but for foot fetishists, it's like just the right size. - It is. I didn't know that. - And I've got toes, I won't show on the podcast 'cause it'll gross you out and it's, you know, a bad financial decision to show feet for free, but I can grab things with my toes, like a monkey in like a really insane way. - See, that's gross. I feel, but I'm grossed out by feet. I don't need any feet. - Honestly, same, I don't love them, but you know what? Men who are foot fetishists, if you'd like to hit me up, no judgment for me, and I will sell you photos of my feet, so. - I'll judge, bad. - Brad will judge, but I, you know, I won't. - You're obsessed with people's feet, like this whole wiki-fade thing. I'm just like, who is at home? What I wanna know is how it happens. Like, how does somebody like get into feet? - I mean, it's a really good question. I don't know what like the common denominator is. I think it might be like a sort of like, workshop thing, like being like, you know, like people like to go to like dominatrixes or whatever, like a lower level version of that, where it's like, I'm gonna like worship your disgusting smelly feet. 'Cause like, I'm so like not in charge here or something like that. - Maybe. - I never understood it. I was once sitting in a cafe. This is how much like my foot fetishes love my feet. I was once sitting in a cafe with sandals on, and this guy was like kind of looking at me, and I was like, are I weird? And then he like comes up to me. He grabs my foot in the sandal, and he says, you have beautiful arches. I just like kicked my foot and he ran away. - Fucking weirdo. - Fucking weirdo. Like touching my foot, you have beautiful arches? - Yeah, no thanks. - No fucking thank you. That's gonna be a no from me. - But there's not the thing is, is that it's men. It's not women. It's not women who are like fetishizing men's feet, right? - Right, it's weird. I mean, I guess like, you know, women's feet are tend to be like nicer than men's feet. - 'Cause women get pedicures, we've talked about this. - We like this podcast is very concerned with having feet that are not disgusting. That is like our main political platform. - That's my whole, it's my life's mission. It's just to make sure that we raise the standard for how people care for their feet. - Exactly, for me it's like men, cut your nails, wash your feet, wear a sunscreen. It's not that hard. - It's not that hard. - It's not that fucking hard. - Get it together. - I mean, if your feet smell, that's not normal. That's, that's not normal. You need to shower more and wash your feet more. That's not just something that happens. - But it is men. It's men who are obsessed about feet and are like a, like a, they eroticize feet. It's like, I mean-- - Sexiest in general are largely men. Like there's like not many, like girls will have like, you know, I don't know, wanting to be like the not dominant one or something like that. Like, you know, or like they like a tall guy or they like a short guy or like a bald guy or they like a hairy guy or whatever. But it's never like something like specific and bizarre and intense like feet, right? Like, I can't think of anything. - Men need to get it together. It doesn't make any sense to me. - Honestly, like, I'm not married to a foot fetishist, but he's often like, it's a shame that I'm not because you've got like the perfect feet for somebody who does have a foot fetish. - I mean, I will say this. Like, I do notice when somebody has nice feet. Like if somebody's wearing sandals, 'cause I mean, just for the reasons we've been describing, like if somebody takes care of their feet, it's like, oh, lovely. - It's different than usual, 'cause usually people's feet are kind of just like, either like fine, you don't want to look at them or they're gross. - Or they're gross. I notice when they're gross to them. - Yeah, I always notice, I always notice. Like, I can't fucking stand it. It's disgusting. And like, I guess I do notice when someone has like a nice pedicure because I like nails and stuff like that. So I guess that does kind of make sense. - But I'm not, but I'm not like putting pictures up on my wall of like, you know. Or like thinking about them in a sexual way at all. It's just like-- - At all. It's just like a-- - Just like a nice hands. Like, it's the same thing. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - So that's been our feed talk for this episode. That will be a continuous thing that we do or we discuss how angry we are at everybody's foot hygiene. - Did I ever tell you my podiatrist story? - No. - How I, you know, I have like a bad back, like a bad low back. I've had it since I was in high school. And I went to this doctor. It was like a sports medicine type thing to try to get an evaluation done. - Like on why your back was hurting? - Correct, yeah. You did this whole like, you know, examination. And he asked me if I had ever worn orthotics in my shoes. And I was like, yeah, you know, I did in high school. And it kind of helped. But then I stopped in college 'cause I went to this hippie doctor in Boulder who was like, you should be natural. I'm like, don't wear orthotics. Like, you know, all this shit. So this guy's like, yeah, I just measured your legs. And they're like, you know, one of your legs is like a quarter of an inch longer than the other one. - I've always suspected that I have that for my whole fucking life. I've suspected that one leg is longer. - Yeah. So he's like, go to this podiatrist. I think I've actually told this story long, long time ago on my podcast. But he's like, go to, you know, go to a podiatrist and get orthotics. And you'll have one of them like sort of crafted to be like a, to correct this difference because it was affecting my... - Yeah, your lateral pelvic tilt. - Correct. So I go to this podiatrist on a referral. Like this, the sports medicine guy refers me to a podiatrist in Beverly Hills. - Wow. - Which it sounds fancy, but like a lot of doctors are in Beverly Hills. - It's a lot of doctors in Beverly Hills. - Yeah, so like, if you live in LA, that's where the doctors are. - They don't run their fancy, but not all of them. - So I go to this podiatrist's office and when I walk into the little lobby, it's empty. And there's like an obsidian, if I'm remembering this, right? It was like a obsidian coffee table made out of like... - Oh yeah. You're in the real rich people doctor's office. It doesn't look like a doctor's office in the waiting room. - But also then on the wall, there were these like photos of like iridescent underwater oceanic scenes. It was kind of weird, you know, it was like a porpoises and shed and like... - Porpoises? - I don't know. You know what I'm saying? It's like, you know that kind of artwork where it's like that... I grew up in Venice, I totally get it. - And so then there's like that little booth window, you know, the check-in window for the doctor and there's nobody there. And I'm sort of like, it's like anybody in this fucking place. And then eventually this woman comes to the window and she's got like, like, you know, there's just something like with the big nails and the big hair and the makeup and like... - Just like clacky thing, like what's your name? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, like that kind of thing. And I was like, you know, gave her my name, I checked in and she's like, okay, you know, come right back here, the doctor will see you. I'm the only person there. And long story short, this guy, you know, they have to make molds of your feet. And this guy comes in, he's like six, two blonde, receding hair and athletic. - Nice and... - And a tractable snubble. - What's that? - Like one to ten and a tractable snubble. Like if it's like a ten for most attractive, one for least attractive. - He was like a five, he was like, you know, but he was like doing the mold of my feet and talking to me and he was a little bit... There's a little bit of a weird energy coming off of him. - Yeah. - I couldn't quite place it, but I was like, all right, this whole scene is weird, but I'm just getting my fucking orthotics, I'm gonna get out of here. And so I do it and I get the orthotics, you know, they mail them to me and it's like, you know, my back improves, it's good. And then I get a bill, you know how you get the bill for the deductible or what is it called? The copay for your... I get that in the mail and I owe like 50 bucks or whatever to this doctor. And I get the envelope out of the mail and I put it on my desk and it sort of gets like buried under the pile and I forget about it. - I swear I've not paid medical bills for that reason. - Yeah, so like a month goes by or whatever it is. And I suddenly remember that I owe this fucking guy and then I'm starting looking. - Now it's $500. - Yeah, I'm like, oh my God, like I forgot to pay the copay. So I'm looking through my pile of papers and I can't find it. But I remember this doctor's name and so I Google him 'cause I wanted to get his address so I could send the fucking check. - I'm still scared. - Turns out at Google him, the first thing that comes up is that he's been convicted as a level one sex offender in the state of Florida for like getting together with like a 12 year old girl. - Well you saw him in California. - Yeah. - He's practicing medicine in the state of California and I'm like, what the fuck? - Any dates to rat problems. - And I was gonna say, I was healed by a fucking pedophile. He fixed my back for the lowest part. - So funny, like I've got pretty strict moral standards in terms of like, I don't wanna hang out with racists. I don't wanna hang out with crazy people. When it comes to doctors and nail techs, sometimes you gotta suck it up. Sometimes it's like, all right, this person loves RFK Junior but they healed my hormonal imbalance which recently happened. I like had like terrible hormonal acne for the first time in my life. I went to this lady who was like full RFK Junior like, you know, homeopat, like worse than homeopat. Like here's like fancy oxygen that's gonna like, you know, fix you or whatever the fuck. She fucking fixed my hormonal acne. Like she was like a God from heaven. She just like fixed my whole shit. And like, you know, sometimes you just gotta let it go. - I mean, he's still my podiatrist to this day. - Wow. - No, I'm just kidding, I'm joking. - I'm joking. - While podiatrist, sometimes you gotta let it go when you're dog who's set a file. - Long as he's doing his job well, you know. I never returned, but I was just like, I can't even believe he's allowed to, I guess that's why he moved, but like you can just show up. - Doctors, like there's fucked shit that happens with doctors because when they're in a hospital, say, and they do like a malpractice thing and they get fired, right? The hospital then either has to report that there was a malpractice issue at their hospital which will get them less funding from the government potentially or the guy just quits and goes somewhere else, which is more often what happens. So you'll get these doctors who did a horrific thing in another hospital, working at another hospital, and nobody knows they did the horrific thing. - Yeah, yeah, I mean, maybe I was like his first patient. I mean, the place felt empty. It was like, what is going on here? It was very strict. - I think it's a doctor. - I mean, it's not that hard to get somebody a pair of orthotics. I don't want to give this guy too much credit. It's not like he did brain surgery on me or something. How fucked up is that? - That is so fucked up. I mean, for a long time I had a nail tech who was straight up racist at me and I was like, you know what, you do nail so well and like your prices are so fair. Like, I went to her for like two years. - Well, I mean, yeah. It's like people don't have to be perfect. I do think it is, I mean, this guy is a pedophile and he's a foot doctor. The kind of doctor that a person chooses to be. - It kinda frees you out, right? A little bit. - I'm like, I'm gonna just spend my life dealing with people's feet. Or if you're like a proctologist, I know there's money in it, which I guess is why people do it, but it's like, yeah, I'm just gonna - There's money in lots of kinds of doctors though, right? Like be a pediatrician or something. I mean, not as a pedophile, but like. - Yeah, exactly. Oh yeah, why wasn't he a pediatrician? - I mean, you know, that would make a lot more sense, wouldn't you? - You missed your calling, but yeah, I don't know. The whole thing, it's like, you know, all day long, you're just dealing with people's assholes. Imagine that. - Ugh, ugh, like I don't, like I think also a lot about just like surgeons, like to be a good surgeon and like God fucking bless them. They save lives constantly. And like if I need one one day, like I'm gonna have to find the one who is like the most into cutting up bodies. These people love cutting up bodies, seeing the organs, moving them around, doing shit with them. Like they enjoy it, that's their job. So like if I ever need surgery one day, I'm gonna have to find a fucking freak who loves cutting open alive bodies. So much that he's a good surgeon. And that's it. And that's fucking weird as hell. - It really is. I mean to do-- - It's totally fucking weird. - I guess they wanna fix people. I mean, there's like some sort of altruism in there, but it also is like, I think there's like, it's like an ego thing too. It's like almost like a fighter pilot or some super high pressure like, you know, people like that sort of performance pressure and being able to execute in-- - And being like just like at the hospital, everyone's like, oh, he's like the surgeon. Like he's like the big wig or she's the surgeon. Like it's like a high level, respected job, you know? - It's not like, he's the podiatrist who makes orthotics. - That's my asshole doctor. - He has an obsidian coffee table in his wedding room. - This is doctors in Beverly Hills, beautiful, beautiful lobby. He's my asshole doctor and he puts things up my asshole when I can't poop. - Just wait, you're not old enough yet, but just wait 'til you have to do your colonoscopy. That's a-- - I hope it's like a beautiful waiting room with like a big obsidian thing on the coffee table. - I can tell you right now it won't be because what you do is you do the prep at home where you have to just blast out your innards with laxatives and it's miserable. You have to take like a huge dose of laxatives to clean out your system. So you're up all night and you're just like, it's awful. - Do they put you down for, like do you go under for course? - Yeah, yeah, and then you show up to like one of these like outpatient surgery facilities where you basically just walk in. There is a waiting room, but it's like antiseptic. - Right. - And then they bring you into a bed. You know, you're in your gown, you're in the bed, they're getting you ready for surgery and then or the procedure, it's not really surgery, I guess, but they knock you out. - Yeah, they knock you out. - They knock you out and roll you on your side and you know, then you wake up and you go home. - Dude, it's not just like a, it's not like the twilight thing where it's like you're awake, you barely know. - No way, no way. You have to be fully knocked out. It's like the, they use the propofol, right? That's what they use for all this stuff. But it's the shit that Michael Jackson over now is doing. - I see, I see. If colonoscopies were a thing that mainly women needed to do, you wouldn't get shit. They'd be like, here's Tyler and I'll have fun. - Maybe, but I don't think they can physically do the procedure unless the person is totally unconscious because you would clench up. (laughing) - I mean, like, look, getting a UTI removed, it's kind of the same situation and they don't give you shit for it. Like, yo, you're clenching up all right. But then they got the fucking thing in their speculum just making sure you don't clench. It's really a horrible. - Jesus Christ. I can't, I mean, and like these doctors who do this, these colonoscopies all day long, like, what the fuck? - It's like, I'm a poop doctor. Like what do you mean? Imagine being on a first date, like, oh, I'm a doctor. What kind of doctor? I'm a butthole doctor. - I just, I mean, I guess they're getting paid, but it can't be like inspiring, right? You just gotta be like, yeah, just gonna scope, like stick a camera up somebody else's butt and look for polyps. Like, that's my-- - Let's see what's going on up there. - Yeah, that's my life. It's my life's work. - I think it'd be so much more pleasant to, it'd be more pleasant to be a penis doctor. It absolutely would. - I would, I hope. Yeah, no poop. - That's like, that's a big factor. No poop. - Yeah. - So, well, now that we had our nice poop discussion, I hope no one is eating while they're listening to this. - We covered it, we got feet covered, we got poop covered, colonoscopies, what else? - Yeah, I wanna title this episode, like don't eat what you listen. (both laughing) So, okay, so our next story is, sadly it does not involve poop or colonoscopies or surgeries or camel bites. So the cast for Dancing with the Stars was announced today. I don't watch Dancing with the Stars really at all. I don't, I think it's pretty self-explanatory what it is, it's just celebrities dancing. And this year, one of the cast members is someone that we talked about like last week, Anna Delvi, famous scammer in New York City, Anna Delvi. - Right, we just, this is like a follow up because I think we were talking about her, she's the one who imitate or pretended to be like a rich socialite. - Exactly, and she just like tipped all of like the low level weight stuff or whatever and like didn't get caught forever. - And was like scamming like the rich people of like New York's like Upper Crust. - Yeah. - And then got caught and I wanna say went to jail. And when we were talking last time, I think we were talking about her like at Rikers, like we thought she was in jail, she's out of jail, clearly. - So she's not out of jail. Well, I think she's on house arrest right now, like she just got out of Rikers like very, very recently. And so on house arrest, they allowed her to have social media back because it was like, she was like, I'm not in control of my story anymore and I wanna be or whatever in the judge allowed her to have that. And I guess they also allowed her to sign up for dancing with the stars. Now, dancing with the stars will air when she's no longer on house arrest. Like she can do her dancing with the stars practices like 'cause that'll happen when she's not on house arrest. - But wait, wait, just the fucking fact that this woman, who is a criminal? And like I get like it's sort of funny that she scammed these rich people. - Yeah, I don't feel bad for them. - But like what the fuck is our, like this is our culture. Like you go to-- - You don't like the more healthy part of our culture. Like somebody who came from nowhere and nothing walked into New York City, scammed her way to the top just like real businessmen do, but they don't get caught. They just do shit with like more money. And so it's like, you know, they do crimes, whatever. Scammed her way into the upper crust and like got so much fucking money from them, humiliated them. Like that's a working class hero. - That is in a way. But I feel like-- - Working the class book hero, she's not a star. She's not a star, she's a criminal. - No, she's a natural born star and that's how she became a criminal because she was so good at acting like a star and just being a star when she wasn't actually. I think she's now ready for it. - I mean-- - You have an attitude when you were that rich that like makes people trust that you have a ton of money and are very important. And she was so good at that even people who were actually old money believer. I think she's ready. - Yeah, you know, I went through a phase early in my adult life where I was thinking about writing a book. Like I had this like fantasy about writing a novel about a con man and I had this theory that really great con man like that or like an Adelvi. Or you know who I was thinking of as Frank Avenue, the guy that catch me if you can. - Oh yeah, God, that's so good. - 'Cause like the performance that you're giving, we talked about this when we talked about an Adelvi but it's like, it's an extreme high wire act. - And it's like so bold that you're going against like every social convention that you've ever learned. Like I think about him going to college class and everyone making fun of him. And then him going on pretending to be the teacher. And the teacher comes in and he's like, sorry, you're in the wrong class. And he like teaches it for months. - Yeah, and like becomes a doctor, becomes like an airline pilot and shit, you know. - It's insane. - It's truly insane. But the point I wanna make is that if you're familiar with that movie, catch me if you can. It was a Spielberg movie with Leo DiCaprio and it's a good movie. And Christopher Walken was in it accidentally. - Walken. - Like Abeniel ended up becoming a fraud expert for the FBI. Like he sort of, you know, that was his like personal arc where he became a law enforcement guy. Like I wonder what Adelvi is gonna do. - Nothing because she didn't do anything that's useful to the government. She's something that's useful to potentially the working class for trying to get more money. You know, you act until act like you're rich. You'll probably get money. But she didn't do anything that's actually useful to the government 'cause she didn't trick the government. Like Frig Abeniel did trick the government. He made fake checks. He did all this stuff that like they need to know how other people do it. Whereas Adelvi did something that's pretty actually simple. It was like just only, she had the boldness of Frig Abeniel but like didn't scam the government or scam airlines or do anything like that. She didn't want a job. She just wanted to be a socialite. - Yeah, and she pulled it off. - And that's why they put her in fucking rikers and like didn't give her a fucking job at the CIA 'cause like she's scamming the CIA people like in a way that isn't helpful. - How are they gonna introduce her? When they like, you know, dancing with the stars episode one, season, whatever it is. - Yeah, no, Adelvi. Probably like that. - And Anna Delvi, she committed fraud. And like, you know, like-- - Yeah, Anna Delvi is dancing the tango to Britney Spears who excited to get and like that'll probably be it. - And part of this though is that in her promo picture, everyone has to take like a promo picture for dancing with the stars and they're like little dancing outfit. She has an ankle monitor on 'cause she is still under house arrest. - I mean, it really is like-- - That's iconic. - It is iconic, but it's also like, man, this is where our culture is. And like people at home will be like, yeah, let's see if she can dance the cha-cha. Like, you know. - It's where our culture has always been. When was Grey Gardens made? That was like look at these crazy rich people who are in a bad situation, let's all laugh. I mean, anything for eyeballs, but I don't feel like the culture was as noisy as it is now than when Grey Gardens came out. Like-- - Well, there's more people now and there wasn't social media and it's like-- - That's what I mean. That's what I mean. Like the-- - People still talk about it to this day. I think it had a huge effect on the culture. - But it was easier to cut through as the point in that culture, at that time. And so now it's like, of course it was gonna cut through. - Yeah, I mean, 'cause it was so shocking. But today, if Grey Gardens got released, like maybe because it is just, it's just shocking period. But that's what people have to do. It's like Nicki Minaj has to beef with Megan the Stallion. - That's a little different, but yeah. - But it's the same sort of thing. In order to cut through at this point, you almost have to do something like super obnoxious. - I mean, yeah, you did just admit that you haven't watched a movie in like six years though. So maybe-- (laughing) - Not a whole movie. - I'll watch shit on Netflix, fall asleep. - Yeah, see, what I do is I'll watch a movie, I'll fall asleep during like the main important part. And the next day, I'll be like, oh, I get to watch the main important part of that movie from last night, that's nice. - Yeah, I watch movies and pieces. I'll spend like, this is how embarrassing it is for me. Like I'll spend like eight nights watching one movie because I keep falling asleep like 10 minutes into it. And I'll just keep it inching my way through. Like especially if I really wanna see it. Like that was how I watched a, they made this big deal in the press about hitman, that Richard Link later movie with Glen Powell. - Oh yeah, I saw that, it was fine. - That's what I thought. I was like, they made a big deal about this. This is like an okay movie. It's not like-- - I mean, like if I was in the theater and you know, I was like on a couple of edibles, I'd laugh and have a good time in the theater. It's what Tyler and I call a nice time at the movies. - It's a nice time. - But it's not like anything else. - No, no, but I took me like eight nights to get through it. - Through that, like that movie is like so like not dense too. It is like the easiest to get through a movie. Like it felt like 20 minutes. And then I was like, all right, I guess that's-- - I guess, yeah, glad I just spent $17 to see that. - Yeah, I mean, I would never do that. You can download movies illegally. Well you can't 'cause you're elderly, but-- - Yeah, I don't even know what you're talking about. - Downloading movies illegally. - I had no idea. - That you could, that that was possible? - I mean what, you can bit torrent it. I've heard of that term. Look, I don't do it. I've got a husband who does all of my tech for me. So he just showed me a website or a TV app and it has a bunch of movies on it. I don't know how it works. - Damn. - So what else is happening? I think we have a couple of like smaller stories that I wanted to cover. - So we've got a couple of real like just quick ones here that like don't. So one of them is, I didn't know about this, Brad, you made me aware of this, but apparently, in Louisville, is that in Kentucky? - Yeah, Louisville. - In Syria? - People from Kentucky say Louisville. That's not far from where I grew up, Louisville. - Like Louisville? - Kind of, yeah. Yeah, it's not Louisville, it's Louisville. - Okay, so in Louisville, Kentucky. - Louisville, there you go. - I guess there's a porch pooper on the loose who is simply going on to many, many people's porches and taking a huge jump. - In the middle of the night? - In the middle of the night. There's like, I can see like ring camera pictures of him. Like. - Oh my God, it's my former podiatrist. (laughing) - Maybe he's a poop doctor now. - Yeah, yeah, he's now a proctologist. - Well, so apparently he has also like chosen specific homes to poop on like several nights in a row. - I mean, does he have a motive? That's what I mean. He's gotta be doing this to like revenge. - But like the people who own the home say they don't recognize him at all. - Wow. - So like he definitely got some kind of motive, but like, what is it like? - Or is it a fetish? Like he's like, oh, they have a ring camera. Oh, I want to be on camera. - I mean like, could it be this guy's maybe like a, like a boss at a company somewhere? And like this guy got fired like in like a mass layoff or something. And the guy like doesn't really know who he is, but is getting his porch shot on on the list. - That would make the most sense. - Yeah. - But I'm kind of hoping in a weird kind of twisted way that it's just like some random dude who just like. - Maybe park the guy's wife. And that's why you can't say anything about it. Like, I don't know who that guy is. - Maybe. - I love just wildly conjecturing about shit. - I mean, and like the guy's like, the thing too, is like if you read this story online, the guy is on people's porches and they have these doorbell cameras and you can see his face. - So clearly. - Yeah, it's not like he's trying to hide. He's not like he's wearing a ski mask and pooping on people's sport. He's just showing up and like just bearing it all. - If you knew this guy, you would recognize him. Like it's like you can really see his whole fucking face. It's amazing they haven't caught him yet. - Yeah. It's like somebody's got to ID this guy. - Yeah, like there's got to be somebody. I mean, like good for them for not snitching on the porch booger, I guess if they do. - Yeah, if it's so like, like if it is random, like if it was just like out of a blue, just like totally random. Imagine being the people. - Who were chosen? - Who were chosen. Imagine, like that would fuck with my head if somebody just kept coming to my house and pooping on my porch. - I don't like what, like lost highway. Remember I was like that they just kept putting videos, videotapes on the person's porch. And they're like, I don't, what the fuck? Like I don't even know who the fuck this person is. They're just leaving videos the whole movie. - I feel like the porch pooper is like a subplot in the novel about the 1,000 pound sister getting bit by a camel. Like these things feel connected somehow. I feel like it could be like a side plot of white noise or something. Like the most photographed barn in the world. Like the Louisville pork share. - And like he's been, he's been at large for months, you know? That would be funny. They just can't figure out who the guy is. - Like what if he does it for years? What if for years he's just shitting on porches and no one knows who he is? What if he's in the witness protection program and doesn't have any friends? - What if he, yeah, he's a folk hero. - And like nobody can say the government can't say who he is 'cause he's in witness protection. - He's like, yeah, he's like an outlaw. (laughing) It's a legend. He's like, you know, running from the law right now, like Thelma and Louise style, but just like as one guy. - I mean, it really is the kind of outlaw that our culture deserves in this moment. Like, you know, it's not like we have like Bonnie and Clyde, like these hot young, like rebels on the run. - No, you got the Louisville pork share. - Yeah, we got some guy in Kentucky who's just like taking a dump on your porch. - That's where America is now, pretty much. Like there's like the girl who's scam-britched people a lot of money, folk hero. And then there's the Louisville pork share. Not a folk hero, yeah. It might become one, depending on whose porch he's shooting on. - Yeah, so this feels like one of these novels. If we add the Anadelvi subplot to it, it feels like we've got to somehow bring together at the end, like in the third act of this novel, you have to bring together the 1,000 pound sister, the Louisville porch pooper, and Anadelvi, the like- - I'm kind of like what author really feels like, right? Is it Don Dalilo, is that like who I feel like would really write a book like that? Where it's like the main plot is that there's a toxic cloud, but then also there's all these other fucking weird little things, or like- - I feel like Don Dalilo's not comedic enough. I feel like he's a little bit too serious. - Pretty funny though, that like photograph aren't in the world, like it's dry, but it's like pretty funny. - That's true, white noise is funny, and then like it's like kind of like deadpan way. - Yeah. - I feel like this story is like a little bit goofier. Maybe it's like- - I feel like it needs to be deadpan for it to work out though. You know, like otherwise it could just end up being like too much, like too, like okay, there's too many hilarious things happening in this book. It's just like stupid vignettes, but if you did it like David Sedera style, dry maybe, like if like an essays, like that could be good, but it should be a fiction. - Maybe, I mean, I'm sure Don Dalilo is listening. I imagine he tunes in every week, so- - It's a little fan of mine, so, you know. (laughing) - He won't stop me, like emailing me, it's crazy. - He loves my poetry, I love my tweets. Always reading my tweets. - So, if the Louisville porch pooper is out there listening, we salute you, good luck. - Yeah, we support you, good luck. Don't let the fuzz catch you. (laughing) - What's the charge? What's the crime? Is it like trespassing? - It would be trespassing for sure. Would it be vandalism? - Yeah, maybe that's what it would be. - But then also would it be like, like you could someone really sick with shitting on their porch, is that like, something you could press charges for, like, chemical warfare? - How do you clean it up? What do you do? - How do you clean it up? - You get a hose, I guess you get a hose and just like hose it out into the yard, like we're all out there. - But then it's like in a football over your yard, right? You're kind of just like spreading the poop by doing that. - Well, I mean, listen, I'm a dog owner, you're a dog owner, you know. - You can get out of the bag, right? That's what you have to do. - You can pick up a human log off your porch. - I'm not doing it. - With your hand. - A man in my house do it, but like. - I'm not touching that, even with a bag on my hand, I'm not touching it, I can't do that. I can't even pick up other people's dog shit without feeling grossed out. It's got to be my dog. - Yeah, same, it's fucking disgusting. But it's also like, okay, there's a dead rat in the house, someone's got to put the dead rat outside, it's like kind of that situation. - Maybe you get like a shovel, it's like a shovel. - Yeah, a shovel, yeah, a shovel's like an idea actually, that'll do it. I just have to come to the bag. Brad's freaked out, Brad's like, don't shit on my porch, I'm begging you guys. (laughing) I'm gonna shit on your porch tonight. (laughing) After 9.30 when you're all asleep, I'm just gonna come shit on your porch. I hope you have a ring camera. - The fact that this guy can poop so freely is also interesting to me. I don't think I could poop on somebody's porch. - I mean, maybe he waits until he really has to go. Like maybe he's like living across the street and just sitting there, like just like, okay, I gotta go, I gotta go, okay, I really have to go. We're on across the street, porch shit. - Well, my wife sent me this funny, like, link the other day. - You're gonna say my wife's showing the porch the other day. - She did, that's how we met. - She shot on my porch. (laughing) But she sent me this, 'cause I always make fun of her that like when we travel, I'm like, you can't poop when we travel, like at all. - It's like a problem. It's a joke. - And there's a German word for it. And it's called, I think it's called like home schysa. Like if you're a home schysa, that means you can only poop in your own house. - German's such a fucking fake ass language, what the fuck? (laughing) - It's like, I'm gonna fuck it up. I don't know the exact, it's like home schysa means that-- - So used to so funny. - But I'm glad there's a word for it. - Yeah. - Like I feel like a lot of people are home schyses. And it's like-- - I'm a home schyser for sure. I've got like, you know, I mean, unless I've got like a really private bathroom and like time, like, if I'm like staying in a hotel room with someone, even like my husband, I'll, like, I'll get, I don't know. My body's just like, nope, staying up there. - Yeah, yeah, not happening. - Not happening. - You have to be comfortable. - Mm-hmm. - But I have a friend, I have a friend, I'm thinking of him. I'm not gonna name him 'cause I don't wanna embarrass him. - Oh, name it, name it. - No one would know anyway. But like, he could poop anywhere. - It's wild when people can do that. When they're just like in a party, they're like, "I have to poop." - Yeah. - What? - What? - Like, how the fuck, like, I can only like, only under the right circumstances, can I do that in my own home? Like, it's like, I don't have a problem with it, but like, I like have some dignity. - Yes, exactly. Like, he's like, "Oh, I met Chipotle, hang on. "I gotta go poop." And like, you're just like, "Oh." - In a public bathroom? Like, I don't wanna ever poop in a public bathroom. That's wild. - Unless it's an absolute emergency. Like, but even then, even then, like. - Yeah, even then, it's kind of like, I'm gonna run home or something like that. I mean, like, that's bad. I mean, it's a constant plot point in "Real Housewives" that every time they go on vacation, some of them get diarrhea and some of them get constubated. And it's like, you just, you never know what it's gonna be exactly. - The whole thing makes me get grumpy. It's like, I don't wanna travel and not be able to poop. It's like, you gotta figure out your, you have to have a routine. - Yeah, you know, being in the desert recently, I realized something about myself, which is that it doesn't matter where I am, if I'm on vacation or in my own home honestly, but like on vacation, what I wanna do is take a bath, put on a nice bathroom, watch reality television or movies in the hotel room, like order room service or get like a short cutery board and just fuck and eat it all night long, get really stoned. If there's like a beach or a pool, yeah, check that out. That's like what I wanna do on vacation all the time. - That's it. - That's it. I love being in a hotel with the AC cranked up, watching some movie, like with my little weed pen in the bathrobe, taking a bath, like, I will just say-- - Wait, wait, wait. I have to, I'm red flagging something. You will take a bath at a hotel, you'll sit in the tub where other strange, no. 'Cause people, who knows who's been in that fucking tub. - Okay, I've got a good friend who works at a hotel and they bleach that shit after every guest. - I don't, I can't trust, I don't trust. Maybe some hotels do, but like-- - Are you one of those people who like go to a hotel with like Clorox wipes and you wipe off everything that you touch? - Yes, and I gotta say too, like, I'm in, as I get older, like, I just think that the service economy, they're underpaid, generally speaking. These people who are charged with these jobs have no incentive to do the job well because they don't get paid well, they don't have benefits. It's like, fuck you, I'm cleaning up this filth. Like they'll do the bare minimum. - Yeah, they're trying to play as employees. Like I, you know what I do is as soon as I get there, when they're doing the first cleaning service, I leave $40 on the bed. Then I can trust them. And then they're always nice to me and they're always bringing me towels and they're always like, you know, being good 'cause nobody else fucking tips them. - Yeah, I leave. - Nobody fucking tips them. - It's smart to do it on the front end. I always leave the money on the pillow as I'm checking out. But I should, I wanna go in there and like, as I'm renting the room, just be like, let me go find the cleaning service. I'm gonna tip them now. - You go in a delby style, tip everybody. I like go to the front when they give you the key, tip them. Because then they will be sure to like, bring you blankets up in time and stuff like that. When you go get your room cleaned, you put the thing out that says, like clean my room, you tip them. Somebody brings you food from, you know, room service, you tip them and makes the whole hotel experience much nicer and you feel like, I'll get like guilty about somebody cleaning up my mess. You know, like I don't like love that and giving them like a little more money. I still feel weird about it, but it makes me feel like a little better. - I like to appreciate it. - Yeah, of course. I just think, I also gotta say that going to a hotel, this isn't like, I was beginning to say, as I get older, I have less interest in going out to eat and less interest in staying in hotels. Because I like a hotel, traveling, unless I'm going somewhere really cool. I'm kind of like, I don't care that much. - I care less than I used to. And I'm just like, I feel grossed out. I'm like, this food, this plate, like there's somebody back there who just is, you know, maybe you get lucky and somebody really cares about the preparation of the food. But I'm like, how clean is that kitchen? What's going on back there? I can't see it. - It's funny that you're like that. 'Cause for me, I feel like I got over like almost all of like my like feelings of being like grossed out or like being like the best yucky or whatever. Because like, I would be nannying and kids would just be puking on me and they'd be shooting and there would be fucking spit on the toys and I'm trying to clean it up as I go. But it's kind of all over it. I like get like not squeamish at all. Like if someone's puking, if someone's bleeding, like it doesn't affect me. If there's a bug that needs to be crushed, I'll crush it with my bare hands. Like I like, like I hate rodents. That's the one thing where I'm like, if there's a rodent, I will move to a different country. I'm out. If there's a big ice fighter on the wall, crush it. If there's vomit on me, that sucks. (laughs) Like, I don't know. - I want to just- - I think now is a good time to make note of the fact that this all began with what was supposed to be a quick mention of the Louisville porch cooper. (laughs) We've now spiraled into- - Like a half of this episode is us complaining about how people aren't clean enough. - That's right. Which I, this is right in my wheelhouse. 'Cause I love cleanliness and order, but- - Yeah, I like, like, I'm looking around my room right now and like there's a lot of like art stuff, craft stuff, like fucking paints and yarn and stuff, kind of like all over the place. But they're in the spot they're supposed to be. They're in their drawers and their little boxes and there's no like food. That's what freaks me out. I don't like the food, like anything that like will bring bugs. Like, no, I'm like girl, messy, it's different. - That's different. Yeah, I kind of agree. Anything that's gonna smell, yeah, I do. - Yeah. - Yes. - So what, I think we have also like one obligatory hawk to a mention. I just flagged this 'cause I thought it was funny. She got a podcast, like she got a podcast deal. - Here's the thing. Brad has some kind of like hawk to a disease. Like he feels like he's her dad or something like that. He's like, this is like one of my children. And so I'm gonna look after her. We are going to have to have like a hawk to a theme song soon for like every time that Brad has to talk about hawk to. - Yeah, the reason I flag it is 'cause the name of her podcast made me laugh. It's called Talk to a, that's pretty clever. - That's pretty good. That's very clever. - You can tune in. I know I'll be listening to a hawk. I actually won't be listening. I'll wait for the Talk to a Brad and Mira for the culture crossover episode. You know, it's been a bit wild. Biggest crossover event of the decade. - That will be the singularity right there. That's what we're waiting for. Talk to a, Talk to a, and what is ours called? Brad and Mira for the culture. - What is my podcast called that I'm hurting? (laughing) Dude, she's signed with Jake Paul's fucking podcast company. - She's crushing it. - Jake Paul is a fucking podcast company. Who's a fuck is this motherfucker? - Dude, everybody has a podcast company. - But he's like a fucking like boxer/ YouTuber. Like I don't need to, that's none of my business. I don't need to know about Jake Paul. - I don't even know who he is, but. - It's like some, I don't know. - All right, well, it's time for Brad learns. ♪ Brad learns things every day ♪ ♪ Brad in pain but finds a way ♪ ♪ The time moves fast and understands ♪ - Imagine there's like letters in my head like "Brad learns." (laughing) - So here's what I wanna know about. I got fixated on this yesterday and made me angry. I got grumpy in a way that I'm not necessarily proud of. It's like I tweeted about it (laughing) and I was like pissed off and it was sort of like a mean tweet 'cause I was kind of making fun of people who wear watches. - Angry are so funny and random and strange. It's not like, oh, this person called my wife a bitch or something, not that anyone ever would, but it's like I'm furious that people are wearing watches. What the fuck is up with that? - Well, I read this story about this player on the San Francisco 49ers football team who got shot in San Francisco right off of Union Square this past weekend. He got shot in the chest. He somehow is fine. The bullet went through his chest but did not hit any organs. - That's insane. - Crazy. So very lucky to be alive and obviously it's a happy story that he isn't seriously heard or anything, but he was assaulted by like a 17 year old kid who wanted his wrist watch. It was a robbery attempt and then they had a fight and over the gun and the gun went off. I think they both got shot. Nobody died, but-- - Holy fuck over. It was like a, what kind of, like a-- - Like a Rolex. - A Rolex. - This is like an NFL player. This watch is probably like at least $10,000. Who knows how much this fucking watch costs, but like-- - You know, Rolex might be more, like-- - More, dude, who knows? I'm not somebody who sits around thinking about this, but like I read this story and was like, wait a minute, why does anybody wear a watch in the age of cell phones? There's absolutely no practical reason for needing a time piece on your watch. You've got a phone in your pocket. You can look at it any time you want to and know what time it is. - Or you have an Apple watch if you want to be dumb and do that, but-- - Yeah, or you know, if you're some sort of like endurance athlete and you're trying to track your, you know, fine. And I will say too, if you just like watches and the aesthetics of a watch on your wrist as like a, I guess like fine. I'm not trying to-- - It is though, it's jewelry for boys. Like it's jewelry, it's not even about the time. It's about being able to be like, oh, what time is it? Oh, I wonder, let's see. Let's look and see what time it is at my wrist. Isn't that cool? Like it's like that. - But the thing that really kind of like wrinkled me was thinking about how, 'cause there is a whole culture or subculture of super rich people who love their fancy watches. So Rolex, like Patek Philippe, like all this fucking shit. You know, there's these companies that make these like ultra expensive wrist watches. And the only people who would even know that a watch costs $75,000 is another rich person. - That's right. - And so you have this whole subculture of rich people who are needlessly wearing these fucking wrist watches just so that they can signal to other people. - Right. - That they are rich enough to afford this thing. And it makes me want to puke and-- - Right, that it's like people who are like normal people aren't gonna look at them and be like, I know how much that watch costs or like even I'm impressed by that watch. It's to impress other rich people. - That's it. And the other thing is that you might as well just like, literally like paint a bullseye on your forehead. You wear one of these watches out in public. You're asking to be robbed. Like, there's no need for it. And you got in public and like, you got $75,000 hanging off your wrist. Somebody's gonna probably be like, hey, you know, like let's, let's track this guy. Round alone, like I understand like, I mean, I don't understand. I think it's really profoundly stupid. But like, you know, being in like a work or in a meeting with other rich people or at a dinner with other rich people or something, you have this watch to show like, I'm one of you or actually I'm richer than you or I'm like a little poorer than you, but still rich. Like it's a way to indicate to other rich people what level, 'cause there's like hierarchies among rich people. You have like a billionaire. It's way, way, way above. Like even like a fucking hundreds millionaire. Like someone who has $600 million is way below somebody who has one billion. And that is like a hierarchy within wealthy people onto themselves. And like, I think these wristwatches show where do you place in the hierarchy? Do you have a billionaire watch? Do you have a millionaire watch? Like which one is it? - Well, it's like a loan with that seems just straight stupid. - It's so weird and it's so sad. And like, I was thinking about it too in the context of like the art market, 'cause it's like, yeah, you can wear jewels. Like if you have like some diamond necklace or you're, I don't know what guys would wear, but you know, some guys rappers or athletes will wear. Yeah, they'll wear this like really ostentatious jewelry that is obviously a wealth signifier. But I don't know, I guess if it's really big, you can go, oh, this person's got enough money to afford this gigantic diamond. - Yeah. - It's actually an item that performs the same function, but there's a brand name to a watch. There's also like a level of cultural knowledge. Like it's like, if you know what a protect Philippe looks like and you can just spot it and be like, oh. - Yeah. - That's sort of like being like somebody who's like, really knows wine or really knows like the art market and can like name. - It's the ours or whatever the fuck. - Yeah, yeah. So it's like, it just makes me realize like, oh my God, like I think that high-end wristwatches are the number one most common like code, like nonverbal code for your status, your wealth status among the wealthy. - And you're one that other people who aren't wealthy don't necessarily understand and that's purposeful too. - Yeah, it's like, you're like so low, you don't even get what I'm wearing. That's like the lowest level of the notable. - You peasants, you peasants who don't know that I spend $50,000 on a watch. - And it's like, even if you're wearing like, just like sweats the way the famous people often do, if you have that watch, they'll know that like, you're just rich enough to wear sweats in public and not care. - That's right, that's right. They go out looking like shit, especially in LA. It's like whatever, I can dress down, but they've got like the watch on. - Yeah. - Just to like silently communicate to other rich people that they're like in the club. - I've got a friend who like at a certain point in our career like ended up getting a good amount of money and just being in like a lot of meetings with like very rich like white guys or whatever and notice they all are wearing fucking Rolexes. She bought herself a Rolex and like they respect her 20 times more than they did before. Like it's like a different thing. They're like, oh, we didn't realize you were like, part of the rich people's club. Like sorry we were treating you like a peasant, are bad. Like insane. Like it is really truly a wall signifier in like the craziest way. - And but like, and there's no functional need for it. You can just look at your phone. It's just. - I mean, as somebody who personally loves wearing ostentatious jewelry, not expensive jewelry, but like I'll wear crazy shit. It just feels to me like, why spend your money on something that everybody else like has, you know, like if I had that kind of money, I'd be like, okay, I'm gonna get like a custom gold watch that is like cool and different than everybody else's and has like a weird, unique design. Like, but instead they're buying these like, like you're saying like brands that are recognizably signifiers and it just shows there's no creativity put into the way they're dressing. It's just well signifiers. - Well, I mean, it's the same thing with cars too. I guess there's lots of, I mean, people drive certain kind of car to. - Totally. - Let people know who they are. I just think that's a. - My car has rolled on windows. So it does let everyone know who I am, which is poor. - I mean, just like just to get shot over a watch that you don't even need to be wearing. Like if he didn't have that watch on, if he didn't have that watch on, he doesn't get shot. - And like, why was he just walking around in public alone without watch on? It's like where to an event? Sure, but like you're just like. - Well, he was going, now he was going to an autograph signing. So I guess that's an event. And like, just because somebody's, you know, wearing one of these like extremely expensive watches. - They're like, what the fuck? - Well, I'm not suggesting that they deserve to get shot, but it's like, just like, dude. Maybe that's a lesson. Maybe that's a lesson. It's like as a girl, I think, and you know, men do too, but like as a girl, at least my mother and most people will teach you street smarts, hopefully. And the idea in the street smarts being like, don't have your purse wide open on the subway with like your wallet and your fucking phone there. You know, don't like, if somebody's trying to harass you on the street, don't make eye contact. Also, maybe if you have like a gigantic diamond wedding ring put it in your purse until you get to the restaurant. Like it's just like, it's like a safety thing that's unfortunate and it's never anybody's fault that they got robbed, but it does seem like, you know, common sense kind of. - I mean, yeah, you're at least raising the risk. If you're walking around like a gaudy, like expensive watch. - It's gotta be like somebody who's just like, I'm invincible, like nothing that's ever happened to me. This is fine. - Well, he's, we should say it's got like 21 years old and he's like a superstar athlete. So yeah. - That checks out. - It checks out. - It really checks out for sure. Like he just probably spent one of his first checks on like this fancy watch and loves it. And I mean, this is why rich people, like if they have like a really expensive engagement ring, get replicas made of the engagement ring and put the engagement ring in a safe and only wear the replica. - Really? - Isn't that so fucking weird? It's like just buy the replica. - Yeah. Or just, you know, or keep it simple. Well, I'm glad I learned about that. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. People need to, people need to stop wearing watches. It's over. Let it go. - We should have a Brad angry segment. We're just talking about what makes you angry. I was at the farmer's market and this lady, she took all the tangelos and it was just, I fucking needed it. - No, no, it's the lady who brings her fucking dog. - No, right. - Even though there's no dogs allowed signs. We've been over this. - Yeah, that's, that's true. Yeah. But you'll, there'll be like another weird little thing where you're like, I hate when people like, I don't know, spit on the sidewalk or I actually really do hate that. That makes me fucking sick. - I'll try to keep notes of what pisses me off. - Yeah. Every time you're mad, just send me a text. I'll keep it in a list. - All right, Mira. Well, it's good to talk with you as always. I'm glad you're over your heat stroke and that you didn't die. - I did not die. Once again, a lift bitch. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - How did American politics and our economy become so corrupt? Hi, I'm David Sarota, an investigative journalist at The Lever, former Bernie Sanders speechwriter Oscar nominated writer on the film Don't Look Up. Join me on my new podcast, Master Plan, where we expose the secret scheme hatched in the 1970s that legalized corruption for the wealthy. With the help of never before reported secret documents and a few special guests, we'll look back at where it all began and figure out how to move forward. Listen and subscribe to Master Plan wherever you get your podcasts. [BLANK_AUDIO]
