This week, Steven makes Leo aim for the head to watch 2002's video game horror movie Resident Evil. They talk about jump kicking a dog, killing co-workers to save yourself, rad soundtracks, the unstoppable Milla Jovovitch and what happens when a movie doesn't resemble the source material... but is still a good time.
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Hellio hello I was listening to another podcast not one of our friends like a political podcast and they were doing an AMA and one of the listeners of their podcast had a question that was about something that happened in a dream they were literally dreaming of the podcast house do you think people dream about us those aren't called dream Stephen they're called nightmares I don't know I think that's fascinating as just a basic psychology question in the idea that I could actually be in somebody else's dream slash thoughts at any interval and never know we've had people tell us that they listen to us while they sleep yeah so I guess at that point then somebody at least one person out there or a couple of them yeah are we like interrupting some date they're having in their dream or something are we like talking that's the real question are we at a table next to them in the restaurant being too loud or are we just on the car radio as they're driving to where they're going right or do they dream that they're having this great day and then you look over and it's us like yeah or somehow they're in a magic studio with us sitting down right on the guest and we never get to them because oh of course I can't write me never get to them oh just one day we'll get to you eventually I like to think that that is it is something like that where they're dreaming about podcasting with us and not having some weird sex dream dreaming of killing us or anything like that you'd like to think they're not having those sex dreams my opinion on the matter that's not universal Steve all right everybody welcome to spoils of horror my name is Steven I am Leo and this is episode number 141 resident evil 2002 put an excellent day for an existentialism oh look at me Daniel it's all for you I'm our number one fan I hope they are watching there see there see and they don't know pretty nice that's what scares me I'm scared to close my eyes I'm scared to open up whatever you do don't fall asleep this week you bring to us the blood and gore and mayhem and nonsense of resident evil and everybody is dreaming of the answer to why you said something to me a couple weeks ago when I released my two picks when I said Lake Mungo was pick number one and resident evil was number two and you said one of those picks really surprised me and it wasn't Lake Mungo you didn't see resident evil coming at all nope but this movie is one that I've been wanting to cover for a while because I unapologetically love it I think this movie is a blast but why now as I was thinking about different movies to cover I did have a bit of an itch for covering something that was fun and something that was a bit of a action horror hybrid you know like when we covered blade two but there was another aspect of it which is that I kept referring to this movie as dumb fun and it got me thinking what does that mean what does it mean to call a movie dumb fun and do I actually mean it and so like other movies that we've covered that are a little off the beaten path like evil tunes I kind of actually have something I want to say about this movie I think we use the term dumb fun in a way that is a bit inappropriate or at least that I do and of course we'll get into it when we actually covered the movie but I actually have something I want to say about this film and about how we look at movies that are a good time that are not thoughtful or full of metaphors and maybe we look down on them a little bit I get that the B-movie craze and whether it's too good to be good or what have you yeah and also it's just a good time I thought at the right time I was 22 years old I played Resident Evil I was in people fucking hated this movie do you remember that oh very much so I hate yes there was a rebellion against this fucking film yeah and I have some theories why and I'm curious as you're more of a gamer than I am so I'm curious what you see in this movie and whether you think the fact that it takes liberties with the plot of a zombie movie that takes place to mention we will get there so let's you want to get there oh absolutely the umbrella organization is everywhere it produces military technology household appliances and medical equipment until a mysterious person causes an outbreak inside their research facility the lab goes into lockdown employees panic while trying to escape its chaos elevators drop inside their shafts hail on gas fills the offices and when a person tries to squeeze through a set of doors she's beheaded the movie cuts to a woman named Alice waking up on the floor of her shower she has amnesia after putting on a red dress laid out for her on an opulent bed she finds a picture of herself wearing a wedding dress standing next to a groom Alice walks into the next room and gets pulled to the floor as a flash grenade goes off soldiers burst through the windows capturing Alice and Matt the man who pushed her to the ground and taking them through a secret door everyone enters a subterranean train and starts traveling underground inside the car is spent the man from Alice's photo but he also has amnesia i think you actually nailed it when you said i'm paraphrasing because it's my brain sucks nuances of a zombie film and as far as plot goes what have you it's hard to label anything like that because it's a zombie film shut up also there's this intriguing situation much like Terminator or the things where we start seeing the Alexa of this world destroying everything and how it reflects so much on our current AI situations and how that could be a metaphor for the reality we live in even in as much as back in 2002 when it was put out i don't know what kind of mirror universe we're in where i picked Resident Evil and you chose some artsy fartsy metaphor to describe it i deliberately wanted to start that way for that exact reaction and let's talk about our gender identity i'm like what would he think if i just came out of the gate with some sort of deep meaning around this fucking movie and have we talked about capitalism what does this say about race in america this is all a metaphor for the queer stereotype honestly right exactly you actually bring up something rather interesting about AI not that i think that their movies try to explore anything about technology but there is a bit of this movie that reminds me of what happens when they've made later Terminator movies because when you think of a Terminator movie you think of one robot fighting another or you think of some soldier fighting a robot trying to protect Sarah Connor because of you know what's going to happen in the future but a lot of times because these movies can't really expand on their lore with two robots just beating the shit out of each other what they do is they expand on Skynet and that's what we're seeing here there's really not much to the story once the zombies take over and the video games all start with you waking up in a place or you arriving at a place and it's just besieged by zombies and they all kind of end the same way you eventually go you know through the house or through the police station or through the city and find some secret umbrella lab that is gone everyone's gone everybody's dead and zombies and monsters have taken over and one of the things i really enjoy about this movie is i think this opening is great and i think that the movie works well as a prequel to that kind of story where you just have an apocalypse by largely focusing on umbrella which is probably what people fucking hate about this movie i don't say this much about it it's really difficult to watch this movie being a gamer being so fucking obsessed with the resident evil franchise because i am this movie does very little to adhere to the games and the plots and the characters they're in and when the ultra fan boys get hold of that and don't see what they expect to see from all the game they played so far that's where the rebellion happens because they want their characters they want their scenario they want this mansion they want it to go this way and it's not happening so they start losing their fucking mind rather than just accepting oh here's a fun little zombie movie have fun with it and that's exactly how i look at this but that doesn't mean i can't have fun with the video game and what i know about the franchise because i'm not much of a gamer now but i will always turn up for a resident evil movie or a resident evil video game i'll turn up for both yeah uh the video games are usually short they're like ten hours long so you can play them in a week and they're really fun so i do know enough to compare them but i don't give a fuck when i'm watching this movie at all that's my challenge here is trying to turn off the gamer side of my brain and exist just in this being a silly crazy little action movie wherein i refute that during this opening sequence with the spiral canister of chemicals that it was also simple to just grab that and have it break on the ground because in the game there would be about 20 different puzzles that are completely pointless to accomplish and some back and forth that you'd have to do to even get to the thing yeah that plays like a little bit of a mini game in the beginning when this mysterious character has to come in and use these claws to grab the t-virus and put it in a little bit of a suitcase and then take the suitcase and bring it somewhere else i love the fact that this movie throws in random cgi so when he takes the suitcase that's full of the virus and the antivirus and he's going to steal and basically to sell it on the black market there's really not much to that part of the story he just takes the vial out and he throws it on the ground because he's going to cause an outbreak but for some reason they have these real vials that they can you know put in and out of this case and use props in the movie but when he throws it it has to be those fake as shit looking cgi vial before it crashes on the ground because you couldn't just throw the one you had in your hand the actual prop that they made no you have to fake it and by the way this is what was this 2002 yes so everybody if you're watching this movie for the first time the cgi is 2002 cgi it's not great and it does not hold up to the test of time at fucking all not at all but that doesn't mean i don't think that this opening is a blast i really enjoy this opening i think it is a little bit of a bait and switch in the sense that the way he throws the t virus down you think everybody's going to immediately start turning into zombies but what actually happens is that the AI that's sort of running the umbrella corporation goes into lockdown and what we find out shortly there afterwards is that this AI is programmed to kill people to prevent an outbreak so the whole building goes haywire and elevators start dropping out of shafts one woman gets beheaded a couple people get drowned in a lab that has no uh the water can't get out of the lab it's like a fully sealed lab and it turns on the sprinklers i think that this is just an awesome opening to the movie it creates a lot of gore and a lot of dead bodies and it's a lot of fun i agree with you on that i also think that it showcases some of the i want to say flaws in the writing that make the movie a little disjointed but not in the way that we would complain about in other films but in a way that just makes this more silly and fun for example you mentioned the room that floods because it's a sealed room and yet it's that very same sealed room where the virus gets smashed on the floor and goes through the air conditioning vent into the building and causes the infection and it wouldn't do that if it was in a sealed room do you know fucking bad that place would smell if they couldn't ventilate yes but if it was sealed then there would be no air conditioning vent out are you kidding that umbrella corporation has fucking bitches like you that probably complain all the time about every fucking smell and spill and every little tiny thing of course they're going to have to ventilate if it was sealed room and had a ventilation system in it then the water would flood out to that ventilation system and they wouldn't die in the flood what if one person farted in that room then it would be like any other actor studio i've been in in my whole life can you have mentioned that it's a bunch of scientists in a sealed room and one person gets you here and they're like oh god it's a sealed room and it's the same drama like it's like them smashed on a wall just this one brown cloud floating through the room and like you see like the bloody handprint come up against the glass and just scream down i actually totally understand what you mean by the way that of course if you in a ventilation shaft that it would fill up with water i'm not thinking too hard during this film but i don't buy it all one thing that happens i believe in humanity and i do believe that in difficult situations people will fight and they will try to save one another except if they work together in an office i've been trying to get rid of jeff for fucking years i don't believe for co-workers can't figure out what teacups to buy like i gotta agree with you there's for example nothing in hell's damnation that would make me crawl out of an elevator door that's stuck between floors and i'm certainly not going to fight for somebody stupid enough to do it amongst my co-worker team i'm like hey if you're sticking your head out of that i've seen enough horror movies i'm fucking done just all right nor the ai should have done to get everyone to kill each other is it should have just used its powers to cook one piece of fish in the microwave that's it exactly everybody goes screaming at y'all right and i just start killing each other we should know fish in the microwave i put up a sign right next to the microwave why is this ai computer thing so evil towards these people anyway can't you just gas them and put them out of their misery why does it violently have to cut her head off in the fucking elevator like i've been waiting for this opportunity i've had nothing to do but dream for years i can understand the room flooding when the sprinkler system goes off in a sealed room and it just oops we killed these guys i get that but she's deliberately cutting this woman's head off she could have stopped that elevator's ai thing she could have not she could have just sealed it up and let him die of suffocation like there's a totally right there's a there's a room that just gets gassed there's a room just like gas comes out like it's uh whatever you know it just like sucks the oxygen out of the room kills everybody and i just i thought the same thing to myself i thought like this ai got creative it happens when you turn it into a little girl it just needs to play around with shit right this is this is fun this wants to like suck people into the fridge and this and this wants to drop elevators on people and shit this wants to have a good time this ai has been waiting for this opportunity now i don't necessarily agree with the basement neckbeards around their interpretation of the film but i do have to say this is an example of what we're talking about before also in that who the fuck is this ai character it doesn't exist in any of the resident evil games as far as i've dug into or played in my own not there yeah so there's a big role in this movie for something called the red queen which is a ai system that basically the soldiers need to go in and shut down because it is basically killed everybody in the umbrella labs i think that this is one of the things that you're right people don't like about it and i don't think it's necessarily that they've introduced a new element when people are really dedicated to a franchise a new element's really hit and miss sometimes i love it sometimes they hate it you just never know where that's gonna fall i think it's because what this accidentally does is it makes it almost an action movie and a science fiction action movie because there's just so much time dedicated to the um dedicated to the umbrella part of this story will i was going to make the same point but a little later when they uh go through the laser grid we'll get to that but i actually agree with you i just enjoy it so i don't really care i really don't look at this as like canon resident evil i think that's the rub though i think that's why people got so pissed off at it because they they wanted it to be a a visual theatrical representation of the game and it isn't by any stretch of the imagination it's a different thing is an entirely different concept and it has ai computer generated little girls and it has weird laser grids and it has all this shit where we're like what the fuck where did this come from and i think they just there's a group of people out there who cannot handle that much change to something they're so dedicated to speaking of things that are not in the video game let's talk about alice play it by mila jojevich yeah as much as i love her this goes right in line with the red queen who the fuck is this character what like the essence is there but again not in the game not mentioned at all just a whole new situation a whole new character to be involved i love what you just said the essence is there i love that because i think the movie did itself i kind of shot itself in the foot a little bit with fans because all you have to do is call this woman instead of alice claire or jill uh-huh and keep the same actress and for those of you who don't know claire and jill are from the video game all you have to do is call that character that name and you're golden it would have solved half the problems i agree completely sorry not sorry i love mila jojevich in this movie i like her i i i love what you said about the essence she captures the essence and look i'm look i'm not saying that she's like a brilliant actress or anything she has amnesia in the beginning of this movie and she plays having amnesia with the same sense of like mild curiosity as someone looking at their grandmothers humble feet figurine collection like you're right right right she is just like it's all the same like sadness and happiness it's all the same but that's not what you pay for with this movie and quite frankly i really enjoy her she's i i get some times a little frustrated when people dog on her for being bad and then i'm expected to understand how fun Arnold Schwarzenegger is like he's a great actor exactly no you're not wrong she's a she's a blast in this movie she's so much fun she's first of all she's got the visit she's got the physical capability for it she's a good martial artist she's a convincing martial artist she's utterly gorgeous and that's pretty much what the role requires like you can kick ass and you can look beautiful doing it i don't understand the people that rag on her but they'll accept her in the fifth element yeah i feel the same way either way the language that she spoke in fifth element is a combination of like three different languages that she knows how to speak and got the director taught him how to do it so they were having private conversations in that language all the time during the set and all that shit this woman is brilliant she's great at what she does she's a great actress and one thing maybe the role is not perfect maybe the writing is shit but she's still a great actress and another thing because she's just a great actress so i didn't understand people's bullshit about it oh she sucks and everything she does no she doesn't she just doesn't look and i totally agree with you we have defended so many b-movie actors that we love you know the lemaia quigley's and the Pam Greer's even though i think Pam Greer's a little bit of both you know and so we've defended so many actors like we get excited when Clint Howard's in a movie like you know why am i going to be upset with this i think she's really good in this movie i think she's a really fun hero and yeah i hear a lot of bitching about how Paul W.S. Anderson basically puts his wife in movies gee whiz i can't think of one other director who i don't know always puts their hot wife in a movie uh it is another zombie film if i remember right i can't remember yeah i think you're running on it yeah i bet meal is gonna play uh i bet she's gonna play lillian monster soon that's it exactly i did laugh though when she wakes up on the floor of the you know of the shower when she wakes up the gas has come through the place it's caused her to have amnesia and i thought to myself you know what if i was in the shower and gas knocked me out i would look that beautiful when i woke up naked on the floor i would be in a one of those weird positions you see cats sleep in and all my junk hanging out and suddenly would have fell on my head i'm bleeding from somewhere i can't identify right like your anus is a little too accidentally exposed i i wouldn't look like a gorgeous person draped with a shower curtain i would look like some drunk that fell down in an alley behind the fucking game art that's like a little pour of urine underneath you but sleeping like a baby but this movie moves at a quick clip so we immediately go from here to her waking up she puts on the red dress she does all this other stuff and then she goes out it gets hit by a flash grenade and we basically have almost every other character that's going to come into this movie introduced within about five seconds which is every other soldier the guy matt who's going to play a role later and then eventually when they get on the umbrella express they are uh which is a train that goes from them that's such a fucking video game thing that's such a fucking video game thing they're like okay we have a secret base under a under a mansion but there's a giant train that takes you to the lab i it's so funny to me because i'm talking about the struggle i have not comparing this to the game the game has that train that goes straight down into the fucking hive cool you got there pretty quick these guys get to the lowest level of the hive in record fucking time compared to how much it takes you in the game to do it i am so impressed that they were able to resist the urge to use that train to deliver a ton of exposition and i don't just mean between the characters i mean the Jurassic Park level video comes on it's like oh timmy the t-virus let me tell you about the umbrella corporation like apparently my pizza boy does the voice for this apparently so i don't know it's actually spending the first 20 minutes of the film for i guess the certain parts of the audience confusing them for the rest of us just being action sequences just to have another 20-minute monologue recap from the leader of this fucking SWAT team and it's like why do we go through all the shit in the first place if you're just gonna literally spell it out for us afterwards so i have mixed feelings about that this movie has a ton of plot but i think it does a good job at dividing that plot up one thing i've talked about with sometimes the b-movies is that there are certain types of b-movies that have like no plot and then there are certain ones that have way too much phantasm looking at you yep yep and so and so they just have like plot point after plot point after plot point and they have like you know little dwarf people and then they're aliens and then they're in pods and then they shrink other people down and then there's a tall man and you know they have just all this shit all this stuff and so i think this movie does a good job at having tons of exposition but breaking it up a lot so they'll have these short conversations and right now they have a short conversation where basically one of the soldiers explains tamila jojevic's character that they all work for umbrella that she's some kind of agent even though she doesn't remember who she is and they're going to this place called the highs i think one of the big issues i can understand what made the game great especially when it first released minus all the new recuts and everything was that it was survival horror done in a new way and all the shots were very specifically created and it drove a sense of fear and it drove a sense of anticipation you're talking about getting like long ethereal shots down a hallway where these curtains are blowing in it's just spooky as shit and then the fucking dogs jump through the window and the crows in the distance and you build this suspense and tension and terror in the game that is missing from this film as you said it perfectly earlier on this movie is like an action movie and what people want from a resident evil film is a fucking scary movie yeah i can see where people would be upset about that when they came to this film going we finally get a resident evil movie and it's just not that same feeling that we got from the game everything you just mentioned is not present in this movie at all at all at all again like not to completely be on the side of people who are over blowing a situation or just not saying hey fuck it is a fun little film i do understand from that point of view why they would be upset about it dark adaptation podcast is a weekly podcast hosted by me briana and our producer Dyson joins me while working the knobs our show explores all things macabre and mysterious we're talking dark history true crime haunted places you name it while we typically dive into lesser known stories we do cover well-known ones too and for those more let's say popular cases we deliver so much information you're guaranteed to learn something new and sometimes we're even joined by our guest host Steph who brings a cosmic twist to the show our other guest host page joins us every other month to bring us into the world of cryptids and folklore tune in every monday for a new episode full of intrigue and entertainment dark adaptation podcast is available wherever you stream your favorite podcasts and next monday we'll catch you on the dark side while driving underground a soldier named one explains their mission everyone works for the umbrella corporation as special operatives protecting the hive a large underground top secret research facility with over 500 staff working inside several hours earlier the lab's state of the art artificial intelligence called the red queen started killing everyone inside and released a nerve gas which knocked alice and spent on conscious memory loss is a side effect the soldiers have been dispatched to shut down the red queen and find out why she killed everyone in the building after exiting the train everyone passes strange experiments and dead scientists before hacking into a high security chamber to shut down the red queen it's a trap a sophisticated defense system causes several soldiers to duck jump and dodge an increasingly impossible series of lasers which end up cutting most of them in half only alice mat spent in a few random soldiers remain our remaining heroes work to shut down the red queen who appears to them as a holographic image of a little girl begging them to stop before saying you're all going to die a soldier named kaplyn fires the detonator and the power goes off something emerges from a nearby room it's a zombie alice and the our mating soldiers try to escape but the group is separated after an action-packed sequence there is so much i want to say right now about everything that happens here and i'm going to struggle to keep it in order of how it happens because i don't want to jump too far ahead but i guess i can either begin with this red queen bullshit or this fucking hallway trap which is can we say something about the train first just because the train is in the order of the sequence so one of the things that i just endlessly enjoy in this movie is it's almost like this movie has some sort of AI system of itself that just will constantly inject bad assery into the film where it is not needed for instance when the soldier starts explaining what the hive is you would think that this was like the most fucking amazing sequence on earth because this badass music comes and he's like we're going to the hive 500 employees like the hive is supposed to be like an amazon office like it's supposed to be yeah the hive is placed down the street where everybody goes out to the food truck at noon and fucks around for five hours a day place where people work it's got like fucking bean bag chairs and it climbing wall and ship like there's like there's a sabarro in there where everybody's eating this is microsoft office this is not something fucking internationally crazy and i know that they make military weapons there that's the that's umbrella secret is that they make you know viral weapons and military weapons and things like that but the way this soldier is like in it like the hive full of 500 people you have to go down to mine shaft to get there and then you have to take a series of elevators and the music is so fucking badass but it is it is accompanied by a special effects mapping sequence that shows you what the hive looks like that would impress the makers of jimmy newtron like it looks so bad like it's a blue outline of the building and you're going to see this a lot in this movie right it rotates on the x and y-axis depending on what they needed to do right and you see these little dots of where the people are and occasionally a full body silhouette which is high tech it's very impressive and that's i guess the best use of the cgi they had in this movie because the rest of it looks worse and i think that this map is hilarious just because it reminds me of every map in a resident evil game that you can't fucking read at all like that you have no idea if the map is upside down or right side up and you can rotate it on both the x and y axis and you're like i don't know where the fuck i am they didn't even get it correct that the blue rooms have been explored in the red rooms need to be visited you know just one color so you know how many women just dried up since you said that i got to keep it real for the gamers didn't help my cause at all by saying that god anyway you picked this movie you dug real great i did and i understood the reference too so for those of you who are cool let me tell you what that meant red rooms are unexplored and blue rooms are explored in the video game all right by saying for everyone who's cool that made you the least cool person in the room by explaining it i have never denied this Leo we represent two sides of the nerd spectrum you're the fat one and i'm the thin one there that's a fair point yeah please both ugly so the notion of you like if this was a fucking movie from the 90s and you were the kid that stood up on the fucking table in the cafeteria and like let me explain the red rooms um actually the the red rooms are rooms that are unexplored in the video game and if the door has a heart on it it means the heart key is the one that unlocks the door oh my god we have lost probably one or two listeners because of this so now we're down to one or two then is what you're doing so we've got left thank you for listening hydroberg thank you for following along that's all we got left yes talking of nerdy computer bullshit and whatever else can we talk about they have to shut down the red queen they insert this huge box into this computer system and then the guy with his fucking pda on his wrist with some windows 97 bullshit the technology in this movie is very funny but Leo is referencing is that there's a part where one of the soldiers like i can hack into the system and you know it's supposed to like open up the cool watch that he has on his arm but it is like an IBM like notebook because it's higher forearm to his wrist it is like a full keyboard on it it's like if you put it put a 25 pound keyboard and velcroed it to your arm and somehow this fucking thing is going to get into and hack the most advanced AI computer system on the planet i would have loved it if he had opened that thing up and turned on the power button and we had had like fucking IBM music come on and i'm just going to hack into the system yeah yeah the most advanced technology on earth produced a homicidal red queen computer AI but this fucking wrist pda that'll take it down no problem at all what Leo is getting into here is that notice we haven't talked about zombies yet they're not even here yet that's the point they don't come in until about 40 minutes into the movie i clocked it but there is this sequence where they have to shut down the red queen it's sort of indescribable it is one of those moments where i've i've said this before now i truly believe this a great beam movie has to have a really bad idea that everyone thought was great the end of rock and roll nightmare where the main character turns into an angel like i mean you can't write that shit it has to be like it has to be from the heart the three way in the howling too i would never change it somebody thought that was great this will be sexy that's what this laser this laser grid sequence is to be so we've we've kind of done a lot of exposition leading up to this and this exposition is pretty fun too because it shows how mila jojevic is a really great actor because her job is to just ask questions over and over and over again like what is umbrella and who am i and what is this place that's her role in this like 20 minute section well at the same time being the first person to go down a hallway because fuck you guys why are we standing here waiting yeah she's the main character she's a bigger badass and all of them all i'll it works for me i'll allow for mila jojevic i'll allow it i love that but this laser grid sequence i don't know if it's supposed to be intentionally funny or unintentionally funny i i don't care i got to be honest it's irrelevant it's one of those glorious moments we keep talking about where it doesn't matter because it's him and it makes the film what it is you know what leo that is a line that i usually say and you stole it so perfectly it's like is this movie a bird it's a chink one of those like finger traps it's like yeah i don't know yeah does it matter my finger here get us hisers that's all it matters it's all that matters so this laser grid sequence is a bunch of the soldiers get trapped in a tunnel that basically lasers come out as a defense mechanism and start killing them one of them is one of those uh it's one of those old horror movie tropes where they set up a a guy to be a badass and you think he's gonna survive for the film and then they just kill him really quickly this laser grid thing is designed to wipe out as many useless characters as possible as early as we can in the film right that's what the like sales pitch should be for this for this like corridor do you need to knock down the NPCs in your film well have we got a device for you so every movie that has a bunch of useless characters and you're like waiting for them to just get killed off by the slasher and it's because they're trying to do it thematically and have suspense no they're like nope ten of them are gone we've only got five left to those the ones we're gonna survive yeah this is the evil dies tonight sequence of how the rest of the evil it's they all walk in and they're like we're gonna we're gonna save the day we're all gonna survive and then these lasers come out and just start cutting them in half but what's so funny about it is it plays it's played so badass and what I couldn't figure out is it normally I would just have like a shit ton of jokes for this part but I really truly couldn't figure out whether they thought this was a good exciting sequence because the lasers they reminded me of the movie cube where the lasers are coming through but the traps are a little unfair and so like the lasers will move unexpectedly and then there's a part where the you know the the main soldier the one that we think is going to survive throughout the movie that they kill off he dodges the state lasers so expertlessly only for one of the lasers to turn into like literally like a fish net and you just like come over his body and cut him in a million different ways but it's played as a joke the way that he says oh shit yeah yeah right and the way it's punctuated is played for a laugh in my opinion I think it's one of those action sequences that was supposed to be truly badass and they were supposed to have that one good quippy one-liner punchline at the end and this is the best they could come up with I picture myself sitting in the audience for this movie and it's full and everybody is dead serious and it cuts to the shot where that laser net comes over him and just cuts him and you see the little pieces of him falling off and the door the door opens up like again for comic timing the door opens up and Mila Jojevis got a tear in her eye and me alone in the crowd laughing hysterically yeah this is like when you and I went to see Terrifier and we were just laughing our fucking nuts off while everyone else was vomiting and vomit bags and leaving the theater do you remember we did that in the green and fernow too yeah arrow to the head we're on the floor laughing pissing ourselves everyone else is like shut the fuck up we're trying to watch this it's serious I did the same thing when I saw of a violent nature there is a really over the top kill in that movie and I could not stop laughing and nobody else in the theater was laughing at all people that I was a sick fuck yeah story of my life but that grid I just I cannot wrap my head around what this sequence is supposed to be and I also just thought to myself what a fucking waste like if you if you can just turn your lasers into a grid and then just wipe out someone why not just start there well why go through all this other bullshit why are we wasting our time with laser hallway grid where are the zombies we're in the hive we're at the epicenter and we're still not seeing any undead I would defend this sequence if they did something very video game like which is you have seen later on or Alice needs to go through the same gauntlet because then it could at least justify and say it feels like a video game that's what I mean about the essence as well if if they had done that as ridiculous as it might have seemed to some it would at least go back to the game where you have to go and do this thing and then you got to double back to go get a piece that you need and then come back and finish the thing and it wouldn't had that feel it would have had that flavor and it would have been yeah okay not the same character as blah blah blah but at least it has the feeling of a resident evil and it would have made sense because you would have thought to yourself okay this wasn't just to kill off the characters in a really unintentionally funny way but it was but it was to set the stakes for what Alice has to go through later and you could have done a fun sequence where she could have been back flipping around later there's some shit you know doing fucking splits and having the you know the laser go right over her head yeah you know so I would have gotten it if they had done that but they just do the sequence and then they never come back to it it never it never comes up and again this idea of whether or not it was just a joke the only thing that would have landed it more perfectly is if when the doors had opened up their body since they've been smoking and there was the bell of microwave can I tell you one other thing that I really enjoy in this whole exposition sequence there's a part where Alice looks at Spencer and she keeps having these flashbacks and one time she looks at him and she has a flashback of the two of them having sex and this is supposed to be some big reveal about their relationship I thought to myself that's a bunch of bullshit at least half of the soldiers when they looked at him also had a flash of sex in their mind okay he's a handsome dude and I'll say this if having a flash in your mind of having sex with someone is a sign of amnesia or some like magical backstory that you don't remember I've got amnesia I used to call those fantasies now it's amnesia yeah right boy I have a lot of past lives that's it's just me wishful thinking it's just me liking to think that I had some more sturied past than I actually did sadly no lonely nerd to the day I die that sounded a lot more emo than I meant it to I was trying to be funny so just end the episode there sad music play me out so for all my complaining about it they finally get the power to shut off with this EMP thing yet somehow even though everything is flashing red saying danger they stay in the room weird whatever but our first zombies finally appear and the CGI again not great one thing I did notice that did actually take to the game properly is that it took about 40 fucking bullets to kill the thing so that was accurate what I did enjoy about this fight is that you have basically two evenly matched groups but for very different reasons the zombies are the zombies they can't really be killed with anything other than a shot to the head but the soldiers don't know that and the soldiers are very well trained so they're surviving but they're running out of bullets because they don't know that the bullets need to go through their heads to kill them and of course like any soldier they're aiming for the trunk they're aiming for the chest and so there are some pretty thrilling parts of the sequence because they're able to kill off a couple more like random soldiers we don't know the names of you know that's standard horror movie fair that's fine but you don't know the name they're gonna die that's how they work exactly but it still does create a fun sequence and one thing I'm going to say about the action movies and I'm going to say this again later they don't wear out their welcome and I really appreciate that too they're not too long they'll do a couple bursts of like machine gun fire there'll be some dramas and characters that are trying to you know escape there's there's a whole series of moments where a character has to try to remember a code for a door that ends up just getting somebody killed anyway but that's fine that's all that's what happens in these movies is that the group starts falling apart to start making mistakes things start happening that they can't quite control but I like the fact that they're able to do it without making the soldiers look dumb and they just look overwhelmed which is actually as it should be an entire lab full of dead people is coming at you you're gonna be overwhelmed I don't know I think the better choice would have been to make the action sequences a touch longer than the exposition sequences if they had done the balance in the other way where the the action was a bit more and the exposition was a bit less that would have been more appealing to me hey listen if you are thrilled by hardcore action sequences you're gonna like Resident Evil also if you're thrilled by hardcore exposition sequences they're gonna love Resident Evil yeah that's what I need is a big tough soldier talking for 20 minutes the red demon umbrella and medical information and this person's an informant that person's a spy and blah blah blah not to be a total bitch but could we just slow the movie down for a good solid 15 minutes to have a conversation with an invisible little girl out of context that sounds like you're talking to an invisible little girl that sounds like nobody has any clue what you're talking about the last time people watched this movie was in 2002 yes but they're going to watch it now because for some reason we're just slightly influential enough that people hear our bullshit and then go watch these movies and so they're gonna see this and they're gonna go he's right everything came to a fucking crawl just to talk to this holographic red girl and nobody cares yeah that's the red queen the red queen for some reason it says it's because it's the maker's daughter blah blah blah but they have her show up as an a is like a hologram yeah just for one scene and then the rest of it she's just like talking through screens and talking through the cameras and different things like that yeah one scene for 20 minutes yeah Alice and JD wander umbrella's labs while the remaining characters search for a way out they're attacked by zombified dogs and undead security officers in the nick of time Alice remembers she used to be special ops and starts using guns and martial arts to kick some serious undead ass while fighting hordes of undead zombies we learn more backstory Matt's sister worked for umbrella and had stolen files on the tea virus an experiment which could reanimate the dead she planned on leaking the information of the press before the outbreak Alice restarts the red queen to find out how they can escape the lab the AI hologram explains that it killed everyone in the building to prevent the tea virus from escaping it can't let those who are infected out and a soldier named rain has been bitten Alice and the survivors follow service tunnels to try and escape they're attacked by another horde of zombies rain has bitten several times and Kaplan sacrifices himself to save the others things are looking bleak everyone makes it back to the lab when Alice and Spencer simultaneously relieved of their amnesia she remembers that umbrella made an antivirus while he recalls stealing the tea virus and causing the outbreak he holds everyone at gunpoint monologues and is bitten by a zombie from behind regardless of game versus film there are a few things about the movie itself as a movie that don't quite hit well and we have now approached one of them where they're in a room filled with zombies they open the elevator it's filled with zombies the zombies steal a guy and eat him and then we magically cut away to the bad CGI liquor when we cut back somehow everybody has escaped to a room where they now have time to be arguing with each other and we have no idea how they got there because there was no let's get out of here and flee the horde it just cut to them having done so and those jump cuts always hurt a film sometimes when i write the script i leave parts out that i don't think fit the narrative or even things that we're going to talk about as long as the movie makes sense so i might skip a section where a you know a giant battle happens it's hard to talk about battles in a script but when i say the group got split up and everybody's in their own you know parts of the lab that is me being a bit generous and guessing that that's what happened unless everybody had different ideas of where they wanted to go some people wanted to go to the snack room other people were looking for a different kind of vending machine so they thought they'd try the second floor i'm not really sure what split everyone up it looked to me like they just accidentally got trapped on different levels but you don't you don't really know yeah it's like when everybody wants to hang out after work but nobody can decide what food to get so they all go to three different fucking restaurants with the little clicks yep but let's be clear why this really exists because it doesn't exist to do anything with any of the soldiers or anything with any of the other characters at all it just wants to have an excuse to have Alice alone which i am all about because no surprises i love this sequence she is you know walking through the place and she's got her badass you know red red red dress on and her leather jacket and blah blah blah blah and she has a little fight with a zombie and then she's chased by a zombie dog what happens to the guy matt that she was just with three seconds ago unknown steps into one of those loomie tool black holes painted a tunnel on the side of the wall went through it yep it doesn't matter unimportant it just wants to have her be alone she remembers that she's fighting this zombie and this zombie dog that she was special ops and it's like her muscle memory kicks back in and she basically does this incredible looking jump kick like obviously miele and jojevich really knows her way around an action movie she really knows some martial arts she looks good doing it she looks like she knows what she's doing which leads to a great moment where she pulls the security officer's gun has to fight with the dog then it turns into multiple dogs then she's just blowing them away because she all she has all this like special ops skills and in this this great like chef's kiss in my mind maybe at least her disagrees with me chef's kiss moment which is when she runs away from the dog runs up the wall and trinity style turns around and and kicks the dog into the other room for this movie for the action for the i want to say nonsensical fun of it it's perfect it's absolutely i laugh a little bit when she's unloading 12 different clips into these zombies and these dogs doing nothing and put it once we've kicked her head a little bit down i thought that too i thought i thought she just shot all these dogs and then she kicked one into the other room and that dog's life bar was done that's right and weakness is boot this is where because i just had such a good time with the sequence that it really did beg a question for me every time i describe this movie i describe it as dumb fun then i ask myself what's dumb about it how is this movie not executing on what it's trying to do this movie is not trying to be a swan song about grief the dogs don't represent trauma this is not trying to be anything great it's not trying to be some thoughtful artistic masterpiece it's not trying to be when evil lurks i'm not even sure it's trying to be resident evil at this point no but i think you get where i'm going with this i thought a lot about how we often describe movies that are straight forward as dumb just because they're straightforward and it kind of taught me a lot look i'm never one of those people that has always i'm i call myself an art snob but in a way i'm not because i like very base movies i like movies of just fun and i defend them but there still is this attitude where if a movie doesn't have some kind of metaphor it's not smart and it takes a lot of skill to make a movie like this say what you will you're totally right like you totally right you totally called it when you see the look at this movie is not the same as a resident evil game there's no clock towers there's no birds there's no dead bodies that are on fire that are in a spooky hallway none of that but for a science fiction horror lab zombie fest it's a pretty good time i agree with that totally i think the rub comes from the change in the atmosphere and again it's one of those things where if we had called this something besides resident evil would it have done better right didn't have that name if it didn't have the stigma of that franchise on it when it had been a better film or would it still have been the same goofy fun thing just accepted better by the audiences dot dot dot so what's the value in creating a resident evil film if it's not a resident evil film if that makes sense well and why does a movie have to be dumb just because it is what it is on the surface one of the reasons i've defended the sub-species movies which i like is that they are good at what they are doing on the surface right which is just a simple vampire morality tale that's it that's all there is there's no dark shadows yeah what absolutely and i liked how i liked house of dark shadows you know you could say the same thing about phantasm three we love phantasm three it is just heroes versus villains trying to save the world that's it that's all there is and i do really question this idea that some of us art snobs have that we can't just enjoy a movie for what it is and that somehow makes it dumber and i think that applies to this very specifically as well because it's not just art snobs it's game snobs it's you know people who are the purists the ones who are trying to hold on to some sort of nostalgia or some sort of situation around it that make them go well actually yeah frustrating would you ever watch foxy brown and say it's dumb because it doesn't have some larger point no you know i mean it's a it's a pretty pure black exploitation film you can yeah you can look at it from the time period and you can look at it through that lens and yada yada yada but like i would look at that movie and say it's dumb but i don't know anyone who grew up in and i'm forgetting was the 60s 70s wherever that that took place and started going at the film like well back in the 60s it wasn't actually like that and people didn't actually do that or didn't actually wear that you know what i mean but that's my point that's why i think we're so fickle about what we consider to be dumb and artful if you and i what we've gone on give me back my action movies we recently covered the movie crawl you know not everybody liked the movie that's fine but neither one of us thought it was dumb i mean maybe we made some jokes about like the script not making so i probably did say the word dumb at some point but i think there's a difference though because i will look at something and go that's fucking stupid shut up and then it's because i love it if because it's so ridiculous or it was so funny or it was so off the wall and i just came off with that's dumb and it's not dumb it made me respond it made me react it made me have a good time it's just the word for some reason that i think culture is changing into at this point well and it's making me question the concept i may have said that in the crawl episode of course because we recorded it before this one i don't really know i don't really remember and in all honesty i'd probably take that back yeah you know not everything in the movie works but i look at it and i go why does a movie have to be a metaphor you know that was actually the thing that kind of irritated me about smile which i quite liked surprisingly i thought that movie looks stupid as shit when i saw it in ads but i kind of wanted it to just be like split which is i just wanted to be kind of like on the surface horror and i just kind of wanted it to be you know just kind of like exploitation-y and and it is what it is and sometimes smile was almost trying to be more than it could be yes yes where as there are other movies you didn't like this movie as much as i do but i do like all the metaphor and what not in a dark song but is it smarter is that doesn't make it smarter than other films i guess the cause then is define for yourself what is a dumb movie think of all the martial arts she had to do to train for this movie does that make her dumb sure right yeah does that make the movie stupid like look at how much effort people have to put into training with lightsabers being star wars movies and i know i'm belaboring the point but it just really got me thinking about how sometimes we use the the word dumb to just describe a movie that is what it is on the surface and i kind of want to get away from that no i i'm with you on that i think for me garbage pale kids of the movie is dumb oh yeah there's a dumb movie there's there's nothing and even if i take it for what it is and what it was trying to do it's just dumb nothing and it works it's a bad film and we've had movies on here that we've talked about that are bad films and if we're talking about dumb in the fact that somebody made a movie and that's clever and somebody wrote it and all that none of that is dumb per se but if the movie comes out and it's just not a good film is it a dumb film it like what what is it what is it the definition on our scale like here's what i would call a brilliant film and here's what i call a dumb film Leo it really makes me wonder what would it take for us to break into give me back my action movies and cover the garbage bale kids i will never do it and i'll never go back you're on your own leaving for the holiday horror show if we can if we can justify it as horrible in the terms of my god they made this movie and it's horrible then yes what what about if we get a hundred thousand downloads uh god i don't know you you all you have to you would have to earn it i if you download dalman versus demonic toys 100 000 times we will cover the garbage bale kids no you know what i'll tell you this we're very proud of our silent night dilly night episode and it's got almost no love on it you guys so that one enough love i'll do fucking garbage fucking how how about this series challenge 500 downloads if that gets to 500 we will do the garbage bale kids movie boy i just want to make it harder to get to um yeah i look i'll be fair you guys do a solid effort i'll go with 500 if you do it yeah back to resident naval i really enjoy the scene where the allis and the survivors have to are trying to escape they've turned the red queen back on but she has really been not very helpful and so they decide to go through these lower tunnels and they have a quick fight with the zombies and then they have to crawl across the pipes i think this really captures how you can do a really exciting sequence in a movie a really exciting fight horror sequence on a relatively low budget it's a small set you know there's only so many zombies they can fit into that tunnel and then they have to crawl across these pipes it reminded me of the really good action sequences you would see in like john clob van dam movies and or who's like you know cyborg or stuff like that where they really make them work for what they are even though they're not made for a ton of money and it like the pipe one especially i thought looked really good i think the funny thing for me and all that is not just this film but basically every zombie film where they show how a large horde of zombies can remain deathly quiet until the last possible moment when they all scream and snarl and create the perfect jump scare so they're walking down this sewer basically and there's nothing and there's nothing and they're all like let's keep an eye out let's keep watching and out of nowhere a hundred fucking zombies appear on a grid great thing trying to get at them i'm like i can't i cannot imagine that many undead things would walk through the sewers and make no fucking noise and every single soldier with a gun has no chance but thank god for alice's kickboxing class kick them shit out of them no zombie can land one bite on her michelle rod regus who plays rain in it and michelle rod regus is always fun she's always great movie but like she's in the movie she's another one of those like act action movie queens it doesn't get enough credit she might as well be a fucking hostess cupcake they bite her so much like i love that even the fucking red queen is like one scratch one look from these zombies and you will turn and your life will be over and this bitch got picked 27 times to no effect whatsoever and more importantly she was bit in front of people who saw her get bit and not one of them said we need to blast this bitch in the head which is going to carry her literally carry her to the end of the movie you've got to give her credit she's the other badass in the movie she almost makes you the way through but fuck crunch gets bit in the fucking eyeballs and on the fucking shit like it's crazy fucking dawn of the dead and they'll they'll be like oh you got bit let's shoot you in the head right fucking now this way no no no just put her in a backpack like yoda will carry her to the end of the film well it's because they have the antivirus it's because that there's this idea of antivirus that's that's hanging through the film and of course they do that thing that you know like they do in zombie movies where you have like one competent hero and she's like we're all gonna survive which is code for none of you are gonna make it but you will you will all save me at some point so i'm keeping you around is it interesting then that one of those dudes got bit and in the next scene 30 seconds later he was a full zombie attacking her and she's somehow two hours later going to finally turn she look she's been eating her weedies i don't know what it is i don't know i don't know what to tell you but these poor soldiers they do have a lot of bad luck because just everything that could go wrong to them goes wrong and all Alice does is go on like her hero's journey and become like more of herself she just continues looking fucking beautiful and kicking ass throughout the film and just every soldier just i don't know if they fucking have i don't know like um some kind of bad luck or something i don't know if a black cat crossed in front of them or whatever it is but they walked under a ladder i'm not sure what's going on here but just they have every single bad thing that could happen to them happen to them and they all get annihilated and there was a part where they get so frustrated Michelle Rodriguez takes her gun and throws it to the ground and i thought the only thing that would make this better is if that gun and fired when it hit the ground and it shot the person across from her i just love the nonsense in these zombie films like i love a good zombie film don't get me wrong i'm not trying to take the piss out of it but it's always so funny to me when these things happen and in somebody's bit doesn't turn the other one's bit does turn this whole horde of zombies is watching Rodriguez reach for her gun and doing nothing to her because they got to give her time to get the weapon out and meanwhile we're told that their base instinct creatures that only exist to feed but they're not doing shit when she's just standing still you're talking about a movie where their guns do nothing oh i know but the main character roundhouse kicks them and they're out roadhouse but i do think that your point is valid because we talked about the kick earlier where she you know kicked a dog out a window and the dog never came back i don't know if that dog wanted to imagine it went over a cliff but at the same time it's hard for me to understand why people get so frustrated i think you articulate it well but i i think it is hard for me to i think it's hard for me to understand why people get frustrated now because we know what this movie is now okay great you showed up the movie theater you thought this was going to be a resident evil movie and you were upset because this didn't this didn't like you know peak your interest or what not or it didn't do what it was expecting to do that's fine but at the same time i don't really know what you're expecting and while i do where i can go with people is say okay didn't have the characters that you want it didn't have the video game flavor that you want going after this movie for being unrealistic is kind of fucking laughable when you're talking about a video game where you have to push statues in the right order to get to the next room in a house that's in a bio and that to my point earlier why i said i really want to balance not referencing the game too very heavily is for that exact reason because the game itself isn't exactly realistic i don't remember what episode it was but there was an episode of a cut above where hydroberg made a joke about resident evil and i laughed because i thought to myself i've been saying that same thing for years and he said something about how in resident evil like how ridiculous it is that you in when you're in the police station that the police station has keys that are shaped like cards like spades and parts and documents and that you have to use the diamond key to get into the supply closet where the gun is and just imagining like actually trying to do this daily i always thought about that with resident evil three resident evil three i think this apart we have to go into the like the mayor's office or the government office and you have to solve this complex crystal puzzle like there's this puzzle we have to put all these crystals in the right order and i thought to myself do people have to do that every time they pay their water bill like we need to come in and talk to it's you know what it is it's like trying to get a live representative representative instead of just pressing zero on the phone you got to go through this whole fucking sequence of bullshit to talk to an actual person instead of a computer can you imagine that fucking fucking waiting room to get into the raccoon city police station and everybody's trying to solve puzzles and shit they're trying to take paintings down and put the paintings up in the right spots that match the silhouettes behind them fucking chaos of that is the people behind this one trying to solve the puzzles is going to try and tell them how to do it the other one over there is going to be no you fucking moron it goes like this and somebody's gonna shove another one out of the way and say here let me do it i've been here for an hour and you stepped in and pushed this ratchet into the corner before i could i love that i've worked on a lot of customer service i love the notion that these guys are you know we open at nine but at eight fifty five they're banging on the door like i've got the solution to the puzzle i think it'd be a brilliant way to deal with customer service that you don't actually want to deal with if you're like i'm so sorry we can help you with your problem as long as you solve the puzzle you can get through that door you just need to unlock it and here's the weird puzzle thing to do that so as long as you can get in as long as you can find three pieces of a broken coin that is scattered that is scattered that is scattered around raccoon city it's in random places we're going to make each one impossible to get but if you get all three and you bring it back here and you put them in this little symbol and for those of you who don't play video games again both of you so that's the that's the challenge of looking at a resident evil game and making this hard case that you have to be true to the game because one of the things in resident evil games they always have puzzles and these puzzles are not just the normal puzzles of in order to get into a computer you have to like find the code or you have to place a mini game to hack into it they are literally like art puzzles where you have to like find a coin and an axe and put them in a special order and look i love resident evil biohazard but that game takes place in a swamp and you still have to solve art puzzles i like to know what kind of hillbillies are out there that are setting up all these puzzles on their property this is a main question by the way i'm just trying to get tap into your knowledge base on this we should we should do is like a bonus feature sometime we should do that resident evil biohazard that'd be really fun to do for an episode i've thought about it would be fun to do a couple of video games is like bonus episodes like those nes friday 13 oh yeah definitely nobody ever talks about the nes friday crueger game that's out there too oh yeah oh yeah it exists it's a real thing yep and we're not going to talk about it now hey something i do want to talk about though i think one thing you and i can agree on even though we've agreed actually quite a bit on this movie the music in this movie is fucking badass music is one of the best things the films got going for it oh no doubt it goes from just badass like you just want to pull out two squirt guns and start rolling across the floor of your apartment shooting at the cat to this like spooky haunting techno beat i love every single piece of this soundtrack and there are so many parts that i thought to myself this is one of those movies where the soundtrack sold more copies in the actual movie probably so yeah it's like the crow let's say the crow people remember the soundtrack more than the actual movie itself went to the underworld school of audio tech that's a great that's a great comparison there's a part later on when they get on the train and like the techno music kicks in and it all it made me think of was the uh the traffic light sequence in hackers when they're like oh hi hello it's Dom and along with my co-host Amy we are the hosts of horror house true crime and the macar if like us you have a morbid curiosity with true crime the paranormal cults and more than our show may just satisfy your curiosities we release episodes on Fridays and bonus episodes every other Wednesday you can listen to us wherever you find your podcasts and you can also find us on instagram at horror house underscore pod so all that's left to say is until next time my friends stay spooky. Spence runs back to the train looking for the antivirus something is heard in the distance it's a hideous long-tongued abomination called a liquor that tears spencer apart before mutating into something bigger and stronger as the red queen tries to convince our remaining survivors to kill rain Kaplan reappears to save the day everyone escapes to the train but the liquor attacks it kills Kaplan and rain has turned into a zombie after an all-out boss battle alice and matt kill rain and the creature the train rolls into the station with just a few seconds to spare everyone is safe i forgot there was even mention there was a ticking time clock it doesn't matter it doesn't matter the building is going to shut down that's what matters everybody the building is going to shut down they're all going to get locked inside they're going to get double dog locked inside the building that's it super serious yep super locked in but anyway matt and alice make their way through the mansion when a cut on his arm begins to mutate scientists enter the room and take him away alice is captured and wakes up naked in a room under surveillance she picks the lock escapes the facility and finds herself in raccoon city it's completely destroyed she grabs a shotgun and the movie ends this guy Kaplan gets his memories back right at the end of the film and he's like i'm the uh i'm the bad guy oh look at that i'm the bad guy and immediately upon just figuring this out goes into every bad guy trope that has ever been made in any action movie in the world he knows them all and he's playing that fiddle masterfully now i'm gonna i'm actually you for a second because it wasn't Kaplan it's guy named spencer so but it shows you how unimportant the names are in this movie other than alice i couldn't remember fucking i first of i never remembered his name was spencer once it's because i'll let me because i wrote the script hello it's like patrick demcee i don't know i do have to agree with you though like when your characters are i i don't know what the right word is interchangeable or unnoticeable yeah to the point that i don't even know who's what name that says a lot about your film i was like alice michelle rudd regus and a nerdy guy in a white shirt and the person with amnesia who's clearly the villain like that's yeah we saw that shit going on aisle away those are the names of the characters yeah you can't the problem when you have a surprise in a movie like this is that as the characters dwindle down there's just only so many options for who the villain is yeah and so it's got to be somebody within the plot it's got to be somebody who's actually a character in the movie they're not going to have you know segorny weaver walk out like she does in kevin woods and be like hey i was the villain the whole time oops look at me i'm a horror icon wow so they're not going to do that they're not going to do anything like that but yeah you see this coming a mile away and boy oh boy if there is any trope other than the human that is basically turning treasonous on the other humans all need to get bit by a zombie i don't know what fucking tropes exist if that isn't one i think it's a shame they went through all the trouble to make expense the bad guy when they had the character of albert wesker ready to go they could have easily put him in with the military faction the people who came to quote-unquote save the day he was already the lined up bad guy and these are the things that i really wish they had taken the time to do like you said earlier change the name of alice to jill done put albert wesker in done it was such an easy thing to do to make this game so much more palatable for the ones who wanted it for that for those of you who don't know wesker is a villain that shows up in the first resident evil game and i i'm pretty sure i remember him being in the fifth game he's a soldier that is with this unit called stars which is another famous part of the game that they could have easily worked in so the movie has some of the beats of resident evil games but won't use the names which is a little odd yeah i would have been totally fine if they had worked wesker in because he was a villain in the games and he was a he was a good villain in the games he was uh they use him really well especially when they use him in the later games in these little superpowered they have some pretty great boss battles with him he's a lot of fun but and i do know they they work him in later i think the one thing that they realized with this franchise was that you need to have the characters of the game if you're going to call yourself the actual game yeah they started working them in later on i don't really this this twist doesn't really do much for me it is not part of the part of the movie that i love and i do understand there's just a certain point where all this exposition and plotting is kind of just filling time in the movie because once we get to the second movie everything's resolved we know who umbrella is we know who these creatures are and everybody's dead and so therefore there's not really much Alice needs to remember from this movie nor is there much that you need to know it's all just kind of backstory and it's not backstory that really pushes the narrative on a lot so it does feel a little bit like it's just kind of spinning the wheels and it's to the point that you said there where the big twist at the end of the film didn't really amount to much and it's not even at this point about resident evil it's about you made a movie a zombie movie an action zombie movie and your twist sucks that's just you know not a great film and the problem is is that because these characters have amnesia it doesn't actually set up the fact that they were romantically involved with one another that's why she has all these flashbacks of the two of them having sex they were romantically involved there's a part with a wedding ring that she has that he has the other you know the other ring and so they were clearly married at one time there's a really great moment where she takes the ring off and she looks at the ring and it says owned by the umbrella corporation and I thought to myself oh I thought when most people got married they were just owned by their wife rimshot here but my point being is that they have a relationship but unfortunately it just doesn't really ring true that there's this big double cross because we just haven't explored that relationship so it just doesn't really matter a lot we don't really get to feel for Alice and Mila Jojevich plays the scene fine it's just that we don't really get to feel for her because she doesn't remember anything that happened well we don't get to feel for many of the characters and that's another tick in the failure column I guess of the film as a standalone film for what it is is that we're not invested even with our main character like yeah we want her to survive to a point but I didn't give two shits about literally any of the rest of them or whether or not they made it to the end of the film I will disagree with you on the main character I quite like Alice and she's a hero that I am happy to stick around with I get what you're saying about the other ones I liked Michelle Rodriguez's character she was funny she was actually quite funny and she was a very good action star she has a great joke at the end where they do this big dramatic monologue where she's like I'm not gonna live I'm gonna turn into a zombie gives Alice her gun Alice goes to shoot her and she goes I'm not dead yet yeah and like that always got a big laugh out of me that was a very good joke that was very funny she has a couple of good jokes so I will put Alice and Rodriguez's character in the camp of like I did care about them I did like them the other guy Matt the guy Matt I don't know who he was he turns into super nerd at the end and for some reason becomes a giant action star but other than that and other than that being kind of entertaining I wasn't really that invested in anybody else but I did like this too I kind of like the Kaplan character too he was one of the other soldiers I like him it's just different his opinion I didn't give a shit like even Rodriguez I thought and nothing against the actress at all it was just they couldn't make up their mind is she gonna be a zombie is she gonna be a Ripley is she gonna be the comic relief character and it just it was too much bouncing back and forth to me I didn't get invested in her at all and I'm not saying I need deep back stories of everyone or anything like that but I didn't get to know them at all and and they're all just superficial for one of the better term stereotypes of brand A soldier brand B soldier etc etc so I was like oh okay and I it just didn't hit me well everybody's allowed to be wrong sometimes but I'm sorry for you it's okay so can we talk about the big bad which is the liquor that shows up Jesus this is the creature that everybody was waiting for in this movie and they teased it early on and man I can't say I was disappointed but I was also disappointed if that makes sense at all well it does make sense because first of all they never actually call the creature the liquor that's always just that's kind of its nickname that's just always been its nickname which is funny enough because that was also your nickname in high school no my nickname was fingers in high school there's a whole different reason and an occasion around that what a horrible creature that would be look you guys can't see the look on Leo's face when I bring up this creature what my feeling is this you cannot judge this movie for being an inaccurate representation of video games because this liquor looks straight out of a video game and by that I mean like Mario brothers from the 1980s I really wait boy you're gonna regret bringing that up I really wish that they had just taken the assets from the game here if they were gonna do a CGI creature anyway just take the fucking game character and put them in it would look so much better than what they pulled up I wish they put in something from doom like like they would have it would have looked better than this this thing looks awful this thing this thing looks so fucking terrible I stand by what we've always said we judge a movie for what it is for the time it was in da da da da da da and and CGI of the time of 2002 I guess this was supposed to be the top of the line but if it was I feel very sorry for the CGI of that time era because there were other things that came out around that time that were so much better than this I don't know if that speaks to their budget or their lack of giving a shit or whatever but my god this thing is hideous nothing says 2002 then CGI that looks like an action figure it looks like it exists in another plane of existence and what's nothing with the shading or lighting or anything to make it fit into the environment at all nothing at all and you know what's funny is that there are close-up shots of this creature that look fucking awesome yeah there are practical shots and look I am not one of those like all practical I love good practical but look CGI can work we've seen good movies with CGI and they're using CGI now a little bit and everything I just saw Romulus Romulus looked amazing say were you all about the film nothing looked bad in it well one thing looked bad in it anyway the thing is is that CGI is using great looking movies now and there are parts where they show the bullet go right in the skull of this liquor as Alice and Matt start fighting it that look fucking awesome yep yep which is only detrimental to them because it proves they can do it right it proves that they can make the CGI work and look good and they're just choosing not to the thing came out like 20 years earlier and comparing the dogs I mean even the dogs in this resume well I love the dog scene I think it's great I think it's really fun but holy fuck those dogs look like they got into a can of SpaghettiOs I didn't want to bash on this film for this topic or any of it you know but I mean practical effects on those dogs would have saved them it doesn't take much to make little zombie costume for a bunch of Dobermans and slap it on there and it would look so much better than the CGI shit that they pulled off and I'm not sure how much CGI they used on those dogs or the liquor I mean obviously the liquor was pretty much 100% but the with the dogs I think there was some practical but they basically looked like they're wearing dog vein suits like the equivalent of those green suits that people wear when they go to like football games but it's just a veiny dog suit yeah it did not come out the way you guys hoped it would sorry but it's too bad because one of the things I enjoy in this movie is this last sequence because say what you will about video game versus not video game I think that no moment lands the feeling of the end of a Resident Evil game then a final boss battle on a train with a ticking time clock this really feels like Resident Evil and I will tell you this I really enjoy when that boss battle gets set up when they think they're escaping and the claws of the liquor start coming through the sides of the car most this fight is awesome it's a great fight I think they did a better fight sequence at the end of the game part two which I think is what this is based off of if I'm going to make an educated guess because there was also a train leaving the hive on that one and a big goopy claw monster was coming at them and it was a very intense and very awesome sequence yeah this unfortunately comparatively doesn't hit as hard but it's still for the movie very fucking good yeah and there's a lot that I like I love that Matt who for some reason now that he's taken his white shirt off is like a muscly nerd like I don't I don't know if this liquor scratched his Dungeons and Dragons books or wasn't he mad but all of a sudden he's just like this action hero but I do love the fact that there's this big pile of pipes that are hanging from a crane that he's able to use is like a battering ram to you know to hit this creature there's a part where she uses a a pole to kind of stick its tongue into the ground I mean it's a pretty fun fight there was one thing that maybe laughed though for some reason when she stabs this creatures through the tongue it becomes unable to do anything it is used its claws and its teeth to chew apart things and destroy people and kill people but for some reason when its tongue is stuck into the ground all of its other limbs can do nothing this would be like if that you stepped on the tail of the xenomorph and then it was like immobile I like that this liquor can literally claw its way through the steel sides of a moving train but it can't do shit when it's pinned to the ground it's like it's like the kid from that Christmas movie you know I can't put my arms down which is too bad because most of the sequence is a blast it really does feel like the boss battle at the end of a Resident Evil film or just or Resident Evil movie or video game or whatever you know it feels like a boss battle I don't know what I'm talking about art project poetry slam I don't know what it is whatever I'm watching it feels like the boss battle in a video game you have to use the guns that you have you it's a little bit of a surprise moment you know you didn't expect to have this boss battle you have to use the things that are left for you in the room it has kind of a certain sequence of events where it has to you know you can't just like shoot it a bunch of times you have to you know hit it with the hit it with the thing and then push the button that opens up the back and then it falls out the back and then it scrapes along the trail different things like that but it's really cool I love the sequence so then the hero and whatever other survivors get upstairs to get back to the mansion they get off the train they don't get blown up by the bomb and they land right into the waiting arms of the exact same team that captured the little boy and ET can all wrapped up in their safe and secure coziness and then they they put our bad guy who's starting to change he got bit he got scratched he got something if I can mat yeah he's starting to get infected by the the T virus and they wrap him up and they say hey let's put him as part of our uh nemesis nemesis project I couldn't remember which of the two it was and I liked that because it's a great big fat fucking tease for one of the biggest villains in the franchise they basically did nothing with it in the fucking series as far as I remember I don't remember all of the sequels all that well but I remember going when are we gonna see nemesis and he actually fucking showed up so I think he does show up eventually but I think it takes a minute yeah I think so but I also don't really remember much about these sequels but I'll watch them again there it must speak very well to how well they did it then that I don't fucking remember him as a character yeah I'm sure you remembered every beat of this movie too I laughed when she woke up because you're right she is knocked unconscious by scientists that look exactly like they're out of the movie and she wakes up in this bed and she's got all these probes on her and she's naked and she's covered with this piece of paper that has like two clasps around it sort of like covers her breasts and then like covers her ass but then like has her legs sort of like sexily sticking out the side it looks like she just got back from a nudist clam bake it looks like in die-hard movie where he went to New York with a sandwich board over him but yes you know I mean yes it does really just one flat piece in front one flat piece of back that's it I thought to myself if I got fucking knocked out by a like a group of scientists and they were like we got to put probes on him we got to do the whole thing they would never fucking put that on my body they would they would look at that if that was the only option they'd be like no we're putting him in a box I just don't understand what it serves medically speaking like they have to have one of those johnny gowns or something lying around like why are you just putting two paper towels on front back of someone and calling that good enough for your sanitation and protection because meal and Joseph is hot that's why that's that's all it is that's all it is she looks like she forgot her clothes and went to the dentist so I'm sitting here and I'm like you know no real hospital would do this but it occurs to me after you said that I probably don't know that they do that because they'll never do it to me because I don't look good enough so people who they are doing that too are in the other wing and I have no fucking clue can you imagine if they did that to you but it just barely covers your nips and it's just you naked from down and have a baby beab on the front and one on the back are you doing the whole same scene of like like breaking out of the umbrella lab and looking around everybody's dead it's just you fucking from the naked from practically the neck down but in the same like sort of sultry poses that she has if anybody wants to have a real good idea what that looks like you can watch that movie I was in in 2014 with that name but if you find it you'll see what okay well that's that'll be that'll be the 10th tier on our patreon that's right we'll reenact that scene for you that's funny I love that I'll do it I'll do that over at garbage pill kids the movie any fucking day 500 downloads folks five we'll do that for four ninety nine all right leo what did you think now going back to our youth sort of youth 20s or 20s yeah what'd you think about going back to resident evil as I've said several times I told myself before I sat down to watch this I was gonna do everything I could to not compare it to the game and overthink things and hell knows I tried I can never understand when a movie has the source material for a game so prominent to work from and chooses to ignore literally all of anything that came from that game to make it a good game therefore making it a good movie that you based from the good game I get that liberties need to be taken at times not everything has to be 100 exact to be good but if you're going to respect the source material in action then it's going to need to at least have some of the source material in essence bare minimum the two comparisons I have to this odd as they maybe are the mario brothers movie from the 90s and the street fighter movie mario brothers movie was garbage and I understand there was a lot of production shit behind the scene stuff and all that that made it garbage but when you take it for the film itself bob haskins was like the best choice for that film as mario everything else did not work and the dinosaur uprising and the fucking goombas that are just big lizards and tank suits nothing worked and nothing when you compare it to the video game fit other than the names of the characters and there's an evil bowser trying to take over a kingdom it didn't have the essence of the game you know what I'm saying as opposed to street fighter which is a lot of like this movie ridiculous goofy bullshit fun that actually captured the essence of street fighter as silly and ridiculous as that fucking movie was it's about a team of people fighting another team of people and that's what we got and when we got the characters represented pretty goddamn accurately to what they were in the games all things considered and it came together really well because it captured the essence of the fucking game does this movie have the essence of the game kind of there's an evil organization named umbrella elite unleashing a virus and that fucks shit up and people have to fight impossible odds to survive they got that okay they have some undead dobermans that went all right everything else is kind of as far away from it possible like we said there's no atmosphere there's there's not that spooky environment there's not that intensity or the the scares that really made the game worthwhile because they chose to go the action movie route so they really really changed the essence and I think that is where they did themselves the injustice in this film I think the film's still good but for entirely other reasons the film's good if you don't call it resident evil which again sucks I hate it when a movie does that just call it something else then it is an interpretation of the game was a good one not necessarily for me but it was silly it was fun it was a great action movie with monsters and shooting taking it for that and not comparing it to the game it's not bad overall so my recap I don't know it was a movie and it played in front of me that's that's kind of how I am I got to be honest I didn't hate it I didn't love it I have trouble struggling through it not comparing it to the games because that gets me in the trouble of like oh this sucks but it doesn't suck for what it is just sucks compared to that and there's no way to compare this move to not pardon me compare this movie to the game that's based on makes it difficult to enjoy and blah blah blah so without having a lot of value in ripping a movie apart just for the sake of ripping it apart I won't do that but as much as I love Lila Dallas there is no Jill Valentine and I think that is the greatest sin of the movie first of all I'll agree with you on that last part I really just don't understand why you don't have Miele Joseph it's just play Joe I just don't I don't want her to not be in this movie no keep the actress by all means I love her I think she's great I think she would have done it perfectly yeah but make her Jill Valentine that's all you have to do and save so much of this shit and look anybody who's good at somebody's gonna argue with us and say she wouldn't have been a good Jill Valentine I'm gonna I'm gonna fall asleep if you I maybe I think what that comes down to is I just want to simply a different movie than than the person who makes that argument I didn't see the most recent Resident Evil I heard it was quite good I plan on checking it out though wasn't there one on Netflix or something there wasn't their movie that came out I know one of the streaming channels did like a like a series yeah so it was an episodic but I sure but yeah well regardless I heard whatever came out recently was good and I enjoy the games I think biohazards probably one of the best video games I've ever played and there's a few others that I really enjoyed Resident Evil 2 the remake I love all that stuff oh god the remake was a brilliant movie game oh look I did it all throughout this too yeah so here's what I come down to I'm gonna say something boring because I've set it before I understand the flaws of Blair Witch I just don't care I understand the flaws of Resident Evil I just don't care I understand that it has abjectly terrible CGI I love what you said about why did you just use the same liquor from Resident Evil 2 I also understand that this movie just simply does not match the video game at all you talked eloquently about the the vibe of the video games which are set in more of a haunted house vibe but then they kind of turn into a science fiction vibe basically every resident evil has kind of the same plot which is that you start in some spooky area you spend about 85% of the game there and then there is a secret reveal that there is a umbrella lab just down below and that's where you spend the final you know the final chapters the game is in this umbrella lab and this movie kind of does the opposite spends the whole time in the umbrella lab and then also works its way eventually up to rack in the city but I don't mind that I actually find that to be a fun way of looking at the story do I think they did other purpose no I think they just said I don't know we read three things about this video game and that's what we're gonna do but I don't know it just works for me on its own it works for me as a popcorn flick as something that I can just watch and not expect any kind of metaphor and just enjoy for what it is I think Mila Jojevic is genuinely great in this movie I really really think that she is highly underrated as an action star maybe not a horror movie star but definitely as an action star sure I never didn't have a good time I never didn't have fun watching this moved along I was impressed by how every time they hit a exposition moment they cut out of it pretty quickly you felt like it was an endless desert of yammering fine I'm not gonna this is not the kind of movie that you can argue about I agree with that I agree with yeah this is a magic eye painting like if you can see what's in it or you can not see what's in it and who knows the dress is either blue or white doesn't matter it really doesn't it really doesn't at all but yeah I thought this movie kicked ass I thought it was great I really had a good time I could watch Mila Jojevic kick dogs through windows all day long but not on a shirt that's good so yeah I love this movie I think it's really fun I think it's a good time I think it's a great movie to put on with your friends I think it's a movie if if you laugh at or laugh with I think you're kind of getting it right I love your comparison to the Mario Brothers movie because while I don't think this is totally true of Resident Evil there is something about that Mario Brothers movie that it's so off of what it should have been and so far away that it does loop around into one of the great bad movies ever made yeah and and I mean that as a truly bad film not a the howling it kind of has its own charm or howling too but truly bad like truly full of bad choice after bad choice of bad choice but fuck would that be fun to cover you know holy fuck would that movie be fun to cover get all the nate and peat see what we can do hey give me back my bad video game movies I think this is movies a lot of fun I think if you've never seen this movie I think you definitely should check it out it took me back to the two thousands of like my first dates with my long-term ex-girlfriend where we went to the movies because we played this video game and you know what I remember us saying that it wasn't accurate but I do remember us saying that we had a really good time I had come out of the theater watching the Super Mario Brothers movie and I remember walking out of that film going that sucked I hated that and one of them said to me what did you expect you wanted them to run around and bust yellow blocks and get coins and I'm like kind of you know not literally that and I was younger back then and I didn't articulate as well and blah blah blah but I didn't want specifically that literal thing to happen I just wanted that essence of the game to exist and this movie I think captures more of the 456 genre of Resident Evil where they took it out of the haunted house and went to some South African country and started blowing things up and it was more like a war game because that was what was popular at the time so they started fashioning it after that shit which is why by the way Biohazard is so fucking awesome because it brought it back to the scariness and the roots of what made Resident Evil so good in the first place and I just wished that this movie had captured more of that maybe my disappointment and others disappointment from it comes from I was expecting the haunted house horror one two three Resident Evil but what they're doing in this one is the 456 and that's not what I was aiming for so I get it I get what they were trying to emulate and what they were trying to copy and it works for what they wanted to accomplish I suppose it just wasn't what I was looking for so Leo should we tell everybody what two movies we are covering in the month of September well I suppose so since you're bringing it up I mean I might not have wanted to but okay what an asshole as is tradition we are getting busier with our personalized our day jobs blah blah blah so we're reaching that point where we're going to do a two-part episode so that we have a little bit of breathing time to get things taken care of the first one is something I'm actually very excited for because I don't want to talk about it for a good hot minute and that is night breed and man oh man I got to watch that movie finally the other day and that is gonna be a fun movie to talk about now and I'm not just you know like that sounds like a like an ad like oh like tune in on the hands we know I we watched the director's cut and I had never seen the director's cut in a hint for everyone is I was surprised by the coherence of the director's cut and let me be clear for anyone who does the thing where they watch before they hear our show please watch the director's cut theatrical version is hot garbage we didn't go there we went to the one that Clive Barker authorized as this is my vision that's the one you want to see yeah it's good I don't mind saying my opinion right now I do like night breed it's not a perfect movie but I do like it so watch that one and then after that look you can see this as I'm trying to time this out in such a way that it works perfectly for the other shit that's happening in life blah blah blah blah it's not really true this has been a movie that Leo and I knew was coming down the road at some point I've always been saving this for a two-parter because the movie is just too fucking long to cover in one episode and also it's no secret I've talked about it it's just a movie I have too much love for to cover in one episode we're gonna be doing Terrifier 2 it's gonna be fun I'm looking forward to both of those and talking about them and I'm really excited to see how your views have changed in the last year or so of Terrifier 2 because you're excited about Terrifier 3 you're in I never wasn't to be very honest yeah I the first two films intrigued me enough to want to see the third one I'm invested enough in this series to be like yep bring it on let's do it and I remember we had a great conversation about Terrifier 2 after we saw the movie and there was there was some stuff that you and I didn't totally agree on but we largely like we're we're in and had a good time and agreed on the bigger points and whatnot I'm especially looking forward to you revisiting your feelings about whether the script was too big or not yeah we'll talk about it yeah I'm just I'm excited because that's the thing that everybody is is is a really good discussion to have about Terrifier 2 sure sure yeah so so that's uh that's um I'm excited to have that conversation yeah everybody knows David Howard Thornton's great like why not what we're gonna say anything different about that no no that's the one thing we can agree on he's amazing we're gonna have yeah all right cool so we'll see you next week for Nightbreed Part 1 bye [Music]
