Danny and Dusty
Worst Day on the Web 8-30-24
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Mice on remote island that eat albatrosses alive, sentenced to death, by bombing. Conservation is saying a-- Road to Denticide. A rodenticide bomb could save them. A rodenticide bomb. OK, so wait, they're going to bomb the island. Be like, we need to save the albatrosses. Drop a bomb, baby! Like, the albatrosses aren't going to die? Chem warfare, baby. So where-- oh, so chemical warfare, it's only going to kill the rodent. I'm sure there's definitely not have any side effects like create Godzilla. Not one bit. I've seen enough movies to know that this is how Godzilla is like created. This is how the evil monster comes up. We're going to have, like, mutant-- they're going to recreate dinosaurs. They're going to turn these things into stegosauruses. How are the mice big enough to eat an albatross? Going to turn it into Isla new Blar. Yeah. I've seen-- what was that, man in the iron mask? And also, what was it? Oh, boy. Now this is going to send me down the rabbit hole. I don't know what movie-- what mob movie it was. Is this the blowtorch of the can? Yeah, with the rat, you have that. Man in the iron mask had, like, they put the rat inside and let that go. That was like medieval torture. They'd put a rat in a can with blowtorch, but they also did-- was it the departed? No, or was it one of those Boston, you know, you know what I'm talking about? One of those had the rat in a can on the blowtorch. He put it on the guy's stomach and he eats his way through. Oh, God, it's too fast, too furious. They did that, and that's a show. They did one of those mob movies, too. I don't know if I've ever seen-- No, too fast, too furious, it's the second one, right? Yeah. I've seen that, yeah, I've seen that one. But that's a long way to say, yeah, you don't have to be huge. They'll gang up on you. All you just got to do is get that albatross. Well, I mean-- In the right state, it's sneak attack at night and you start eating away at it. You know what big an albatross is. An albatross is a bird the size of a freaking person, dude. Yeah. Like that's a 12-foot wingspan. They're huge birds. Yeah. So how the hell is a rat a mouse eating an albatross? It's gang up on him. Gang up on him. He's gang up on him. Just throwing up sets. Yeah. I mean, you're sitting there and you've got the red mice and the blue mice and the orange mice and the purple mice, and they just all-- Tying their bandanas together? Yeah, they come up and they get you. So this is on Marion Islands, an island between South Africa and Antarctica. And humans are the ones who screwed this up. They introduced mice to the island of the 19th century. Oh, no way. Humans did something wrong. No way. They have developed a taste for the wandering albatross, which that's that absolutely monstrous albatross. This guy too big to fly? Maybe that's how they get him. Is that they're like, yeah, you can't-- we know you can't fly. We got you. It says, they can spend hours in flight without rest or a single flap. Oh. So they can just get up there and they got those big old wings and they can just stay up in the air for literal hours. Oh, man. So they can-- not like an A-fly. They can like, superfly. They are a black-- a blackplaitation movie. They are superfly. But can they-- super duper fly. Yeah, see? Birdsplaitation? I see what you guys are doing. You don't like it? I love it. OK. I love it. There we go. I don't like it. I love it. To give people with nothing else better to do at their time, something to do. The Mouse Free Marian Project, a collaboration between South African government and bird life South Africa, is trying to raise $29 million to drop 660 tons of rodenticide-laced pellets onto the island. Yeah, this is going to go horribly. Nothing wrong with 660 tons of rat poison being dumped on an island. I feel like this is how Dr. Evil gets his sharks with laser beams, because there's a lot of-- there's a lot of sharks off this coast of South Africa. Frickin' sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their frickin' heads. Laser beams. 1.32 million pounds. That is insane. Oh, rat poison. I don't know who-- I'm an idiot, and I think that this is a bad idea. This is something that I don't know if the people who call in the shots in South Africa are a bunch of dudes at a bar with a few pops in them, because I feel like this is a drunk idea. And they're like, you know what? Sounds good. We should probably do it. And nobody, in a right state of mind, should be like, this is going to work out really well for us. Over what period of time are they going to do this? Like, are they going to just blanket the area? Oh, yeah, no, it's like, it's four long-- We're going to do it all at once. In the winter of 2027, they are going to-- All right, so they get three months. This is going to be like-- So it's a German blitzkrieg. It's a massive issue they're super worried about in two years. [LAUGHTER] Got to make sure they're probably doing it. Because I'm going to count this winter as winter of 2025. Sure. I think I'm going to be fair with that. They're probably looking at this in the sense of like climate and like, best potential. Like, the mice, you know, kind of being down for the winter, coming up to the spring, it like leaks into the food supply. You know, they're about to wait for two years. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it'd be in the summer. They're in winter right now. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, so it would be summer. Yeah. So they're going three? Well, maybe this is their winter of 2027. Yeah. It doesn't specify. So we're at the tail end of that. So they couldn't push this through to be a-- Well, maybe they don't have the money. Maybe they're hoping to raise the money by then. Oh, right, right, right. And hope that the rats don't eat all the albatross before then. And they're being dropped by helicopter. So it does say, by striking in winter when the mice are most hungry, the conservationists hope to eradicate the entire mouse population of up to 1 million individuals. The CEO says, we have to get rid of every last mouse. Every last mouse, if there was a male and female remaining, they could breed and eventually get back to where they are now. They first arrived on the island. And then we're going to have just a bunch of inbred mice running around. Right, well, I mean, they are already. They began the reign of terror by decimating the island's invertebrates and feasting on seabird eggs. By 2003, the mice were eating seabird chicks alive. And now, a decade later, the mice have figured out how they can take on adults, too, by hopping on them and slowly eating them until they succumb. Yeah, that's like the frog in the pot theory, right? Albatrosses are defenseless against mice because they didn't evolve alongside terrestrial predators. Yeah, so they're dumb. Oh, my God. All right. The whole idea, like, they don't have any mechanism by which they might defend themselves. I don't know. Shake. It's better over here. Now at T-Mobile, get four 5G phones on us and four lines for $25 a line per month when you switch with eligible traders, all on America's largest 5G network. Minimum of four lines for $25 per line per month without a paid discount using debit or bank account. $5 more per line without auto pay plus taxes and fees and $10 device connection charge. Phones will be at 24 monthly bill credits for well qualified customers. Contact us before canceling entire accounts to continue bill credits or credit stop and balance on a required finance agreement, too. No credit to end if you pay off devices early, ctmobile.com. Yeah, they're like, ow, ow, ow. It's like a lemon. It's the dumbest animal. Well, guess I'm going to die now. Just ow, quit it, ow, quit it. And then you're dead. All these albatrosses are just Ralph Wiggum, just giggling. I'm in danger. What the hell? Like, if you've got one on you, you can't go for a swim. Take it out to the ocean. Yeah, this is a great text. Vancouver for a text line 5038646326, your dollar goes for their event group before they treat you right before during end after the sale visit them online at vancouverfora.com. HBO will be making a Chernobyl-like show about this in 40 years. Yep. The island a man cannot go to because they poisoned it to death with rat. And you know what, I like sci-fi channels going to get their hands on this story. Sharknado, ratnado, what is it called? Rodenticide. Rodenticide. Rodenticide nado. It'll be like a rodent version, classic Avenger or something. This is like the day after tomorrow where it's like instead of a hurricane, it's like a rodent, a rat poison hurricane. Yeah. It just tears through Africa. Is there anything else that doesn't sound like anything else lives on the silent? If the albatross is so dumb, it never had a predator. And they're like, yeah, just go ahead and eat me. I'm fine. I love this. This is the literal last line. So, but not worried about anything else dying. Well, the Rodenticide at the heart of the new eradication strategy in contrast should only kill mice because it doesn't affect Marion Island's native invertebrates. Sea words usually feed at sea. Yeah. So. There's no way these birds are dumb enough to eat the rat poison. They are dumb enough to get eaten live by a rat, but there's no way they're going to be dumb enough to be like, I'll try that. Yeah. And spread that to the entire bird population. The other part of this is there was a previous attempt to control them, the mice. Guess what it was? Make them pets. Cats. Ding cats. They dropped feral cats on the island in 1948. Operation Garfield dropped. And what did they eat? Oh, sorry. They took five cats to the island in 1948, but the offspring went feral and hunted the birds. Yeah. Sounds about right. So yeah, we've tried to fix this once by introducing something else to the island that wasn't originally there after introducing the island, something that wasn't already there. And we're going to fix it again the third time by introducing something to the island that wasn't already there. We just never watched Wily Coyote in the Roadrunner. All right. So can we can we just say that maybe Darwin and the only the strong survive maybe maybe the Albatross? Maybe the Albatross. You know, big dumb bird. If you get like we're like, hey, dude, you keep getting eaten by these rats. And then they're like, no, no, no, they are literal mice. They are not rats. OK, so you get eaten by this mice. And we're going to try to save you, bud. We're going to bring in these cats. And they're like, rah, derp. OK, get eaten by them cats now. These birds, man. These birds are dumb. Back to that text about the Chernobyl show. I like that he said HBO will be making a documentary about this. He didn't say Max because I believe in 40 years. They're going to realize this was such a bad rebrand. We're going to go. We're not calling it Max anymore. We're going to go back to HBO. Thank you for that text. That's 3D chess you were playing there. I do appreciate that. Yeah. All right. Well, now we have Rodenticide. Try not against the rats in mice are creepy. I mean, yeah. Don't like it. He's better over here. AT&T customers switching to T-Mobile has never been easier. We'll pay off your adjusting phone and give you a new one free. All on America's largest 5G network. Visit T-Mobile.com/carrierfreedom to switch today. Pay off up to $650 via virtual prepaid master 115 days, free phone up to $830 via $24 monthly bill credits plus text, qualifying port and trade and service on go 5G next to credit required. Contact us before canceling entire account to continue bill credits to credit stop and balance in required finance agreements do.