Archive.fm

Danny and Dusty

Worst Day on the Web

TSA classifies peanut butter as a liquid

Duration:
20m
Broadcast on:
29 Aug 2024
Audio Format:
mp3

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[MUSIC PLAYING] It's time for today's worst day on the web with Danny and Dusty on Odyssey and 1080 The Fan. Oh, really? That sucks. [MUSIC PLAYING] The TSA is modern day Nazis. Whoa, oh, oh. I'll just say that. It's an aggressive stance out the gate. I was not expecting that. I will say that. I mean, whoa. They have not prevented any kind of hijacking or anything like that by stopping us from bringing water on any flights or my freaking diet Pepsi. Or your literacola? I don't want a large fava. I want a literacola. On my trip to Las Vegas, my energy drink that I had to pound before I got on the plane. Oh, really? Yeah, it's like, come on. See, that's the frustrating part. It's a sealed freaking energy drink. Let me bring it on the damn plane. Just bothers me. OK. What do you really think? Wow. Wow. What made you feel this strongly today? Well, it's not about something I care about, in particular. This is the-- you ever seen Thor Ragnarok? Uh, yeah. Yeah. There's a point in that with Jeff Goldblum, where he's asking, saying, what do I always say about this person? The woman responds with, she's trash. She's like, were you just waiting to say that she's trash? That's kind of how I am with the TSA. Yeah, OK. You're going to be using the TSA, like, they're trash. And you're like, oh, because I don't care about this particular one, because I don't really like peanut butter. I'm peanut butter agnostic. I don't really-- I don't like it. I don't hate it. OK. You just have-- you're indifferent on peanut butter. Like, if you bring other like peanut butter-- I love peanut butter. I love peanut butter. I'm cool with that, but I am never-- you will never actively see me seeking out peanut butter, ever. OK. Peanut butter is good. Peanut butter is good. And it's not cheating, because it's your dog. Exactly. Wait, what? Road trip? No, I'm not getting-- That's the road trip. I don't know. I've heard too much. Nope. We've all heard too much. Shut up, DJ Qualls. Yeah, that's a deep cut. Yep. Again, a movie that definitely know it would not get made today 100%. Holy crap. See, we say that a lot about movies like-- oh, that movie can never be made today. There's some pretty aggressive movies that are being made today, though. Like what? Have you ever seen-- well, the TV show The Boys is one. Yeah, but that's also like-- it's doing it on purpose. Well, I mean, so was Road Trip. So was Road Trip. Well, I know, but like, you-- I mean, they put Tom Green in the movie. But you know what I mean? There's always one episode every year of The Boys, where the whole purpose is to go sideways into the cliff. What is the movie with the kids? And it's something like The Boys or whatever. I think it's The Boys. Good Boys. Good Boys. Good Boys. It's Good Boys. Is that the-- Where the-- Superbad rip off with the kids? Yeah. That movie for-- like, these kids are like 12. Yeah. Aggressive. Yeah. I mean, it was like, whoa. People don't forget. It reminded me so much, so, so much of my childhood in a lot of different ways. But it was like, that movie, that would be one where, in like five or 10 years, it's going to be like, they couldn't make that. I mean, little kids dropping F-bombs, like it's Bad News Bears in that show. Great. I mean, yeah, yeah. But that got made in 2019. It's true. I think there's only-- I think what we're seeing, though, is so few people are making those movies now, because that's like a Seth Rogen movie he's making. Judd Apatow. You know, Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen are the ones that are going to be making those aggressive movies. Like, Seth Rogen does sausage party, which that kind of falls in line with what you're talking about. Again, they made so much money that they don't care. They can afford to do that. Yeah, but in general, yes. The idea of that is pretty much gone. OK. So-- All right. But back to the TSA and how much they suck. OK, yes. They have now clarified peanut butter is a liquid. That's not true. Peanut butter is a paste. I would classify peanut butter as a paste. So here's that there? It's spread. Garlic spread is what it is, because it's edible. So it's a spread. Regardless of what you've classified it as, there is an actual chemistry breakdown of what peanut butter actually is. It is technically a Bingham plastic or a subset of non-Newtonian fluids. Peanut butter is plastic? Technically, a Bingham plastic. I don't know what that means. Is that what we got all the microplastics now? But the TSA considers the nut spread a liquid. OK, the term nut spread makes me uncomfortable. But it is unrestricted if it is in a sandwich ingredient. So this is one of those things. Wait, you could have the spare parts to a bomb, but if you put it in the bomb, it's totally fine. So basically, it's three ounces, right? That's what we can bring on three ounces of liquid, which is so stupid. So if I put three ounces of peanut butter, four ounces of peanut butter between two sizes of bread-- Think I took the sandwich? Am I good? Because they're saying the sandwich would be like, I'm very-- I love peanut butter. So I can take on a PB&J, but not a jar of peanut butter. Yes. To make a PB&J on the plane. That's right. All I'm hearing here is that the terrorists are trying to make peanut butter bombs. Well, we don't know. We don't know yet. Are they? Peanut butter shaped or made to look and smell and taste like-- or I should say plastic. I am very upset. Made to taste like peanut butter. There was a guy with a shoe bomb guy. Who now makes us take off all of our shoes. And that guy, there was an actual bomb in that shoe. There has been a change who is coming to airports near you. The new scanners, you get to keep your shoes on. You know what, I might have buried the lead on this when I came back from Las Vegas. Yeah, what are we doing here? There are scanners now in airports. They're not at every line. So you remember the one that you stand up, put your hands up. And there's the boop, boop, and goes around you. There's another one of those-- I call them the bust of rhymes ones. Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. Put your hands on my back and see. And then we get straight buck wilding, it's a place to be. But the new one makes it so it gets your shoes, too. Yes. So I went through one-- Now we're tight. Number one, it was quicker. I didn't have to put my hands up, but it was also-- It would make you put your hands up as just like-- I mean, it's probably like-- It's on my day. Well, next step will be the belt. Can I quit taking off my damn belt? You need to take nothing off going through the one that I went through. Oh. Well, hey. I started to put stuff-- like, take everything out of my back. You can empty your pockets if you want, but you don't need to take anything else off. You can go-- That's what I'm talking about. I usually go through-- I'm usually basketball shorts, T-shirt, hoodie, hat, sunglasses, and then either flip-flops or crocs on my fly. And I went to go-- If you keep those stinky feet to yourself, sir. Look, man, I have this thing where-- Number one, my feet are very clean. Number two, I am grossed out every time I have to remember that I have to walk barefoot through that scanner. Yeah. And I'm always like, oh, man. This is gnarly, dude. But I hate socks on planes. When you think about businesses that are selling through the roof like aloe, all birds, or skims, sure, you think about a great product, a cool brand, and brilliant marketing. But an often overlooked secret is actually the businesses behind the business, making selling and for shoppers buying. Simple. For millions of businesses, that business is Shopify. 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MLB trademarks use with permission. Wait. You know what I hate? Other people's stinky feet on play. My feet don't stink. Because they breathe. That's right. That's like every person that says, I don't snore. It's such like no. This is decorum. Stink. I don't want to see your feet. You don't see my feet because I stuff them under the seat. Nobody wants your bare feet on that plate. Nobody sees them. They do. No, I won't. They do. You think. No, no, no, no, no. You're like the kid who puts their hands over their face. Like, you can't see me. I didn't do anything wrong. No. It's like, you know, we can see. 99% of the time it's Crocs. I can see you. I've gone flip flops a couple of times, but it's almost always Crocs over the last three years. Barefoot on a plane is not-- Crocs are barefoot. But you just said you take them off and you put your feet underneath the seat. No, I don't know. I keep them in the Crocs. But I smash my feet under the seat. I think the story has changed. No, the story has changed. I feel like this story has changed a lot. I say I smash my feet under the seat, not like-- We went from being barefoot to now, we have the Crocs on. No, the Crocs are on. All right. I take them off to go through the scanner. OK. What's that? Half of days off. Yeah, that's part of it's gross. I don't like it. Now, here's a different take on this. Vancouver Fort Tech's on it. I'm surprised it's not banned just for the allergy reasons. That is very true. Like, if you're in tight quarters like that and you got somebody with a severe peanut allergy. That makes sense. That doesn't-- It doesn't. It does. No, it doesn't because-- That doesn't get behind. Somebody can die. No, the number of things-- I saw horrible bosses. OK, look, you may hate it, but guess what? You know what else you can bring on a plane? Shellfish. You know what people have deathly allergies to? Shellfish. Well, yeah. They have shellfish restaurants in almost every freaking airport in this country. Yes. But you shouldn't be bringing fish. This has been well established. You should not be being fresh in it. Oh, we were on a plane one time on an airplane. Oh, yeah. I think it was coming back from Hawaii. And yeah, right after that, you know, buckle your seatbelt sign came off. This guy got up and grabbed his cooler and it just-- it was-- That is, again, so disrespectful to everybody on that plane. It was so horrific. And he was just right in the road immediately ahead of us, but it took over the entire cabin. Do you say anything? Well, I mean, what do you-- I mean, no. You just just pull it really, bud. But yeah, I had really-- Didn't even go passive aggressive, though. No, I just-- What are we doing here? I needed a couple of bowls of loudmouth soup, and I didn't do it. Oh, man. Wow. Ugh. But yeah, the TSA has said peanut butter is a liquid. We said what we said. And they have since been-- We said what we said. They did-- they did-- was that in the statement? Yes. Peanut butter is a liquid. We said what we said. And then they got hit with the notes on Twitter. Three different ones from like three different libraries about the classification of what peanut butter actually is. That it not being a liquid, again, the subset of non-Newtonian fluids. But under ASTM delta 43.59-90, it is classified as a liquid, not a solid. I disagree. Hard no. It's TSA-based in Indiana, because we know this that these Indiana folks are very loose with what they call different foods there. It's true. I'm surprised that peanut butter has an ASTM rating. I don't know what an ASTM rating is. It's for all materials. If you work in an industrial building, you've got your safety index that has all every liquid or potential thing in your building listed and how it needs to be properly stored, according to OSHA. Are we worrying about how peanut butter needs to be properly stored, according to ASTM? Let me see. I bet you that there is an actual-- Get out of here with our ASTM ratings. Yeah, it's more for the grades, apparently. That's what a lot of that comes from, is the grading of peanut butter. OK. Because it depends like what it's being used for. How many uses are there for peanut butter? Are we sitting there like, this is peanut butter cup grade. Peanut butter. It's not cheating because it's yours. No, I'm kidding. This is chunky peanut butter. I'm going to page number three, which has our grades of peanut butter. What's the gross one that has the oil on top of it, where you have to mix it up yourself? Yeah, those are like the natural ones or something. I forget what the-- I forget the term, but yeah. Yeah, it's too much work. But no, I remember what the term is. It's called that peanut butter I don't want. All right, so there's actually a grading scale. All right. Do you want to hear the peanut butter grading scale? The factors that go into it. Color, consistency, absence of defects and flavor in aroma. The color accounts for up to 20 points, consistency, 20 points. Defects are absence thereof. 30 points, flavor in aroma, 30 that goes up to 800 points. A US grade A or US fancy is the quality of peanut butter that has a good color, good consistency, and practically free from defects. Has a good flavor in aroma that has uniformed dispersion of any added ingredients and scores, not less than 90 points, when scored in accordance with the scoring system outlined in this subpart. There are-- everything that you just said just validated that there are too many people in this world that are trying to justify having a job. Yes. And whoever wrote that-- Brother, there is 11 pages on the classification and grading of peanut butter. What would you say you do here? So quick little peek behind the curtain here. When I was in the Air Force, I helped co-author an anti-terrorism force detection methodology and research book, I guess, 737 pages. OK. That was 10 times worse than this. Like, so I'm familiar and very fluent in government BS. And this is tremendous stuff. Like, this is the kind of thing where looking at this-- they have a test score sheet for peanut butter in here and what it actually looks like and how you're supposed to grade it. It's absolutely in the grading of the lot and analysis for what in solid or inorganic residue and salt. I mean, A, classification, B, classification, substandard classifications, and what fails, and what grades, like-- No. Again, let the peanut butter on the freaking plane. What's a peanut butter defect, a question on the Vancouver Fort Tech sign? I think like an almond being in there. Maybe that is your defective peanut butter is-- this jar says chunky and it is smooth. It's based on size. That's right. That guy's like, you know, based on size, I stuck my finger right in that thing and it wasn't chunky at all. It was smooth. Went right down to the bottom. Didn't see one peanut in that whole thing. Absolutely incredible. Defective. So, there you go. There's your hot peanut butter talk. It's hard. TSA. Finger couldn't even go in there. Defective. How many drops do you want me to try to get out of those last couple statements? That's one I need, I need that one clean. That last one especially. God bless America. It's too smooth. Finger right in there. Got to grease that hole up. Stop. He's been up on here. After investing billions to light up our network, T-Mobile is America's largest 5G network. Plus, right now, you can switch, keep your phone, and we'll pay it off up to $800. See how you can save on every plan versus Verizon and AT&T at tmobile.com/keepandswitch. 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