Texas or Not?
The Dark Society Of War!
Mud Cricket Mayhem The Sequel!
[Music] Welcome to World of Words, I'm Biffy. [Music] [Music] [Music] Welcome to the Dark Society of War. We talk about whatever we want, and we don't care what anyone thinks. So sit back, strap in, let's go. Oooh, we got an update for you. Oooh, about to make a name for myself here. I've been waiting to say this. Oh gosh. Man. The stupid keeps on rolling. By the way, B over here has no idea. I'm clueless about all of this. I'm just here today. Because all we heard in our emails was, you gotta do a part two. You gotta do a part two. Well, the part two wrote itself today. Yeah. And I just want to say, I love my mom. I don't always like my mom, but I do love my mom. It is what it is. Disclaimer. Make sure you know what happens here today. You know, every family has at least one person that makes stupid decisions. Well, I don't know if you walk away from this one. She, she's definitely one of those people. Here we go. I got my bag of chips ready. I'm ready. I got no water or anything. So I'm good. Let's go. I don't want to be there because, because you're going to, you're going to exit stage left after we tell you. Look, if I had my water, I think it might be all over my laptop. If I'm dying left. And I'm recording this. So if it does, I will have it. It will be a gift on Facebook. Feed will go up in the air. That'll go back. Just like almost falling out of the chair last night. I'm sure I have a, I'm making sure I have enough room. So if I fall, I'm not hitting my head against the wall. If I don't really have that much room. So I might have to turn to take you eventually one day. If you fall and your feet hit that picture and the picture falls on you, I will quit the show. There's nobody quitting. Okay, we'll be invited. So I don't know about all that. So start with the newest 30 minute story that was crazy. Oh, gosh. So we were trying to figure out what episode we were going to do today. Try going through all the topics that we have planned, different things that we could go over. And he goes, let's do a part two. And I'm like, nah. I don't feel up to it. We don't have much to go over with parts of it yet. Oh, we do now. So I'm like, okay, look, you figure it out. I'm going to go to the store. Because I'm making the crapsuit today. This is where she fucked up. So I'm sitting there and I'm going to the store and everything. I forgot potatoes, because you know, potatoes naturally go into the crapsuit. Yeah. So I call and I'm like, I call my mom. Mom doesn't pick up. So I call my sister. And she picks up and she's, I'm asking her questions about the crapsuit. And she goes, hold on, let me go get mom. Because mom has all the recipes, you know, it's just how it is. It was me and me's recipe. So it was mom's, you know, how that works, right? Yeah. So we're talking about the crapsuit, right? And everything going fine. And oh, stop rolling your eyes, Jay. Everything's going fine. And then she goes, well, you know, my boyfriend broke up with me, right? What? And I'm like, I heard from the left field. Yeah. Wasn't even talking about that. All right. No, no, we were talking about cabbage. And she goes, well, you know, my boyfriend broke up with me. Sounds about right. But he didn't break up with me. He broke up with me through joy. So he goes, apparently, and he and mom are like getting into these arguments and everything like that. And apparently he tells her to get the fuck out. Hey, hold on. In the chat, it says, I think I thought that was months ago. I'm getting there. Okay. So then apparently the next day, because she didn't leave that night, he wrote on the white board on the refrigerator. I told you to get the F out. Why are you still here? Take you and your trash daughter and get out. Yes, that was the gist of what was written according to joy. By the way, this is the same daughter that decided to strip naked at a funeral home. So then she's tough. Mom's going to want to know what about how he is dating this new woman turns out this woman was one of mom's best friends. And now mom is all mad at this woman because she broke the chick code. And last time I saw this woman, and she's a very wonderful woman. She's kind and she's caring. And from everything that I've heard about this woman, she's a great person. She's in a wheelchair. She's come to the first, she's come to, she's come to the first in your party at Mimi's house and everything like that. And she's just a great personality to have around. Mm hmm. So. Mom's ex boyfriend brings this woman into the house and. They're here talking and everything like that and mom's like, well, I don't like this. And he goes, well, if you don't like it, you can get out. Okay. So, meanwhile, mom is that the other woman that swooped in when this guy's wife and sister and all died. So, I mean, mom's going through this whole thing anyway with him. So. She swooped in. When his wife and. So his house caught on fire. Okay. His house caught on fire and his wife and sister and all died in the house fire. And that's when mom started dating him. What in the criminal mind is happening? So then the house. Yeah, he he crawled out the window and lived. Left them pine. I don't know all the details. I just know that they are no longer with us. Okay, no longer with a fast the episode time right there, no longer with us. So. She moved in with him. At the house that the Red Cross was living was providing for them him. Okay. Well, his house was rebuilt. Then she moved into this house that got burnt down with him. So the house where the two women died, she moved in with him. And she's been living there with him since. So the house is rebuilt by the Red Cross. Yes. Okay. Okay. I'm following along here. Are you taking notes over there to get the timeline right over here? I'm getting notes over here. So apparently they started having problems a couple months ago. Like officially started having problems because my sister didn't move when she said she was going to move. Right. Because your sister don't have the person she was supposed to move with either, but because she got catfish, but we'll get to that. Yeah. And so now this guy wants mom out. He wants joy out. He's dating this new woman. I don't want joy out. Mom's got her because he broke up with her through joy. And all that, right? That's kind of a bitch. Which brings us to mom's new relationship. What? Here we go. Welcome back. Thank you for myself here. What? Yeah. The comment makes sense because I'm. So mom started packing her stuff up because he told her to get out, right? Hey. Months ago and she didn't go nowhere. But apparently she's been packing your stuff up because she's been talking to this new boyfriend for two months. Okay. All right. He does not live here. All right. Put your fucking glass. I'm a good motherfucker. He don't live here. She's been talking to him for two months, but she's been living with this other guy for two months. Because she was still dating him. Am I, am I. She thought she was still dating him. Okay. She was still dating this other chick for six months. He just didn't tell mom that they were over. Until July. By the way, she's been on Facebook selling all of her stuff, by the way. What? Yes. Okay. She's selling everything. Okay. So in July, he told Joy to tell mom that they were done. All right. Hold on. He's he's actually kind of marveled this shit up over here. I'm looking at it. And according to the chat, he went out with somebody else for Valentine's Day instead of mom. So there's been stuff going on since before then, too. It's been two months. Before all this, it was six months. He was dating his girl for six months and left your mother. I know, but he had two people. Yeah. So anyway, brings us to the new relationship. We're, we're not going to focus on him anymore. We're going to focus on this new relationship because this is great. Now she's selling all her stuff. Yes, please. Highlight of the story. So I get a text message a couple of days ago saying that there's a new boyfriend. And I'm like, okay, days ago, but then she tells you today. She doesn't know that I know at this point. She's divulging the information because she doesn't know she's neutral here. So my brother sends me a message saying that there's this new boyfriend. He lives in Texas and he's a doctor. So mom doesn't know that I know any of this. So as I'm checking out, she's here telling me that she has started packing her stuff because she's going to be moving because her, the next boyfriend is kicking her out, right? Oh boy. I'm like, so where are you moving to? She goes, well, I'm moving to Texas. Whatever. I'm like, what do you mean you're moving to Texas? She goes, well, I have a new boyfriend and I'm moving in with him. And I'm like, okay, well, why don't you tell me about him? So forget the rest of the family. I'm moving to Texas. Bye. Oh, well, while Joy's going with her. Bye. You know, I'll buy her a ticket. Mom goes, well, you know, he's on a business trip right now, but he's supposed to be coming back around the 24th. They're always on business trips. Ready? When he comes. I bullshit. I bullshit. This does the new doctor boyfriend. No, she's crazy. But she knows that he's a doctor. She knows that he's a doctor and that she's not getting catfished because he sent her a picture of him in a lab coat in a hospital setting. All right. Anybody can wear a lab coat and put your on the internet. Science teacher. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. And then it gets better because it's different from the Nigerian prince and the Ugandan air tax. Oh shit. Because he hasn't asked her for any money. That's the red flag. The red flag is that if he were to ask her for money. The red flag is your mole fell out of the chair. That is the first time I've ever said anything. So he gets back from this business trip. When he gets back from this business trip, he has this whole project and he's opening a brand new hospital in Texas. I'm not falling. So if any of the, if any of the listeners are from Texas and you've heard of a new hospital coming up near you, please let me know. Let us know because when I asked her what part of Texas she said she didn't know. She's moving there. That's what I said. I said, how the fuck do you not know? Are you going to GPS there? Do you see what I deal with? But it's okay because this is more. No, this, I got a song for you. This is more than you bargained for you. Make sure you don't have no copy rights and friends on that song. It's okay. I didn't play enough and I just horribly sang it at school. Yeah, I know. So special needs are right. So then I told her I was like, look, um, I understand that you're, but you've been talking to this guy for two months and everything like that. But how do you think that you can trust him? She's, well, I can't trust people here. I was like, no body. I'm like, but you think that it's okay to build the trust over the course of two months from half a country away to a man you haven't actually talked to a country and doesn't this guy have a kid to yes, but Texas is half the country away. Okay, I wasn't thinking about that. Yeah, it's it's out there where the other. I just have a gift of your mother. Have you ever seen the john Travolta gift where he's pointing and lost. I just see your mom in Texas just lost ever fucking mind with a compass. So then I was like, it was going up in Texas. I bet you I can Google that and find that out, right. Yeah, I mean, yeah. We have to find that dude's name and do some background. So then I tried to be, I tried to be a voice of logic and I know with my mother that it's never a good idea to try to be a voice of logic. So I was like, I know he's not real these pitchers. Anybody can find a picture on the internet and say to their doctor, move on or whatever or doctor. David, you know, my heart surgeon apparently if you look him up you don't have no reviews. So I mean so much. So then I was like, okay so you think that you can trust this guy. Do you realize how much goes on in Texas. Do you realize how much goes on on the southern border. Like, you don't, you don't know this guy. You've barely talked to him for two months. I mean, the world is just a crazy place right now. So I mean, you've got drug cartels you've got human trafficking you've got sex rings you've got all of this type of stuff going on. It's going to be a Dexter situation. She's going to get out there and end up on a table somewhere. The only ring your sister's going to be involved in is an onion ring. Let's be real. Let's be fucking real. But I was like, I was trying to, I was fishing for more information to be honest, but I was trying to sound like I cared, you know. And she's like, I deserve to be happy to damn it. No, you don't. And I'm like, I'm not telling you that you don't deserve to be happy. I'm telling you to be careful. So break up before she moves. I'm going to put 50 on that one. So I'm like, it's all my bingo card already. Where she even moves out there. Before we go further, let's talk to the chat here. How many people do you think? Will she move? Yes or no? Take him back here. I'm doing Bart's stool. I'm doing a draft Kings. Let's do this shit. Yeah, no, she's not. She's not. There's no way. So here's my thought. Here's my thought. He's going to tell her that he's going to meet her at the airport, right? And she's going to drive to the airport and be standing there with all of her stuff packed. Waiting for him to show up. Because, you know, he's paying for all of the her plane tickets and everything for both her and joy. No way. So wait a minute. Hold on. If he's playing, if he's paying for the plane tickets, then why is he going to fly here and wait for her? No, no, no, no. He never said he was flying here. He just said he'd be back. Be back. He didn't say where his business trip was. She was talking about being at the airport when she lands. Oh, over there and over there. Yeah. And, and Texas somewhere because nobody knows where it's just Texas. Yeah, because you know, I mean, Dallas, Fort Worth, you can go down the list. Your mom should even be allowed on the airplane. She's a fight risk. But I mean, if you look at her, if you look at her relationships in the past, we're just following down the same logic. And the apple doesn't far to fall from the tree. Because look at joy. He's going to buy her a ticket with the money. She already borrows. Okay, so well, he hasn't borrowed no money from her yet. But here's, here's the thing. We have to find out the season name. Hey, just ask her. She's breaking. I'll tell you. We need to get. She did not tell me many seats. Is he buying for joy? God damn it. Two and a half is the core is the answer for that one. But I mean, let's go down. Let's go down relationship past. Okay. Now mind you. Keep in mind. Mom and dad are still married. Well, if she leaves, I mean, I mean, you can, you can leave the. People have done this. I mean, I'm my, my wife's uncle. Moved from here. His wife died. So he moved from here and moved to. Yeah, Mississippi, then, you know, found a woman down there. She was still married. She came up here with him for a little bit. Now she went back to about divorce and. You know, now they're back down there, but that's. You can leave and go marry. You know, you can leave, but you can't get married. They've been separated for 12 years. Oh, then it's official at this point. 12 years and they're fighting over who's going to pay for the divorce. Well, since her doctor boyfriend has all this money, why don't you just ask him, Hey, I need this money to pay for this divorce so I can marry you when I move out there. Okay. Okay. I just solved everything. I just, I just typed in. Famous doctors in Texas, Jack Koworkian. That's who your mom is going to see. Please move, move now. I solved everything. Jack Kowork is taking her out off your hands. So, okay. Have your dad pretended to be a stranger that would probably work. I'm just saying that would probably work. But, um, so, okay. This last boyfriend, the one that she's living with currently. She got with him. When her previous boyfriend, she didn't own her with the landlord. Whatever. I have nothing for that one. This guy, almost every guy that she has been with since leaving my dad. Well, and took her rings. Has either had some type of criminal record. Some type of drug or alcohol problem. She has a type. And or has had some type of abuse with her. So, okay, does doctor, he can prescribe pain pills to people. So he might have a addiction. I mean, I don't know. Your mom has crazy kinks. I'm done. So, the first guy that she was with. After dad. And her split up that I can remember. So dad, Joy and I lived together in our own town home and everything like that, right? Mom showed up at two o'clock in the morning. Pounding on the door with hair pulled out of her head as she was bleeding. Crying about how this guy had pulled her hair out. And she went back to him. Oh, because she's crazy. She left that guy. To go with this other guy who had a record for impersonating an officer and. What else is new? All of this other stuff. I have a pedophilia, all that. Whoa, you can't skim over that. What Jesus Christ. Did it just rhyme with pedophilia? So, and the thing is that that man's sister is a friend is a long time friend of the family. And she wanted nothing to do with him. Because of his history, but you know, mom loved him. In the in the chat. There it is. Who is vibes? Hold on. And whoever this person is is dropping some knowledge. That's interesting. Yeah, that that is true. It's only six months separated and you can follow divorce. They can file for it, but neither one of them have signed off on it. Yeah, and there's a person that I know that just did that. And in the other guy on the other show Spry, he just did that too. So the bigger question is who is this person in the chat dropping knowledge? Well, I know I knew about that. No, no, no, no, because my sister is a person. I don't like this. Who the fuck is vibes? Someone for Christmas. Who do you think? Who do you think? Who do you think? How do you do anyway? Oh, maybe maybe the person that had issues getting in. Does your name rhyme with. It's not me. But I mean, if you think about it and you look at mom's taste of men, even before dad, when she was 16, she ran off to Canada with a truck driver because she was mad at her mother. She went up, had a kid put the kid up for adoption, supposedly. And then came back because her, her godmother died. All right, so he's throwing a comment back. It's bad, man. Is that okay? So, so when I'm sitting here and I'm looking at this. I've had people tell me that I turned out relatively normal. Yeah, you are the normal one out of. Your sister, your mother, your normal one. Now, I, I have to give credit where credit is due. I had plenty of family members who jumped in and. Save the day for that. And. I appreciate everything that they did for me not to turn out like her. But I'm just sitting here like I don't. No, those people were not saying either and they have their own. They have their own unique personalities. But. Seeing the relationships that my mother has gone through. Have definitely. Been traumatizing. And I have had to work through it. I'm surprised Jay has put up with it as long as he has. Your mother has had a relationship, not relationships. True. I mean, I've seen my mom sit there and throw technology across the room. Because her food wasn't cooked properly. I've seen her. I mean, it sounds more like she's. A little on the, you know, insane side. Well, okay. So she went to go to the doctors, right? And she went to three different doctors, but none of them would prescribe her medication the first time. So she just stopped what she stopped going. Yeah. Hey, do you remember the other episode we did about stealing prescription pads? Her mom meets that description. Yeah. So. So apparently when I was at two. She threw a baby bottle at me. There was another time where she threw, I think it was a computer screen or something. It was a computer screen. And it shattered, it shattered across the wall. And I had glass in my diaper. And we were finding a glass all over the place. Yeah. Like. There's just. All right. And the. Okay. The chat has clarified. She punched the glass while holding me. Oh, okay. Well, but you know, when mom, when people. When people call the cops on mom, she does this, this weird flip script thing. It's not a fault. So mom was being completely psycho one time and. She, um, she was like, Hey, Jay has left the room, by the way. I've already heard this, but it doesn't get, it doesn't get any better after reruns. She goes completely psycho and she's here yelling a dad going back and forth and dad leaves. Okay. Dad turns to the three of us kids and goes, you guys need to pick. Um, pick who you want to stay with me or her. And my brother and sister went with her or went with him and then I stayed with her. Yeah. You mean psycho one time? No, you mean psycho all the time. And we need to pitch this like TV like. She's going back and forth. She's yelling about how nobody loves her and all of this other stuff. Meanwhile, this is exactly when she's going through all of her internet scams and everything. And. She goes, you know, I just won't be here anymore. I mean, what is that supposed to mean? Like. So she goes onto the basement as she breaks into the gun cabinet. Oh, so we're talking. She literally breaks into the gun cabinet. This gun cabinet is waterproof, fireproof, everything proof, apparently not her proof. Not mud cricket proof for the people in the audience. I was going to say it's not psycho proof. Apparently. So she breaks into it and then finds out that the guns aren't there. Because I mean, come on. I don't know. Time out. Is it there for decoration? Like. Like, what kind are we talking about? Safe. Are we talking about it? Yeah, it was legitimate gun safe. Okay, so you can't see into. No, you can't see into law. So dad had taken the guns out and took them with him. Didn't tell her that he took them with him. Lock the cabinet up and everything. And then she broke into the cabinet after he left. So she goes, I'm just going to pound my head in with a hammer. And she has the hammer in her hand. And. I start yelling at her. I was like, don't you fucking do this? She goes, why not? And I'm like, well, because you're my mother and you're supposed to be here. So. She ends up not doing that. I end up calling my aunt. She comes and picks me up. She goes inside. And. Next thing I know she's coming outside saying, well, your mother's crazy. Let's go. It took all of that to get to that conclusion. There were. Red flag. Words. So. I guess it was like. Another. Maybe six months down the line after that. And I'm in my sophomore or junior year of high school. And. Mom and dad got into a huge fight and dad leaves. And dad sends out a text saying that the water looks nice. And. Moms like flying off the rails. And I end up calling the cops. And. The cops show up. And. The cops are here like asking questions about like, Hey, what's going on? What's like. What is she doing? What is she saying? All of this, right? And I'm expecting her to get arrested and taking away to a padded room. Trying to offer so. Oh, so lonely. And. And, um. The, um. The cop shows up and she goes, what can I do for you officer? Completely bouncing back to be a normal person. And I'm just like, I don't understand. So then. Another argument that we had, um. Mom and I got into an argument over, I think it was over dinner. We always argued over stupid stuff. And she turns to me and she goes, I didn't want you because you weren't a boy. And your brother almost died because he had a heart issue. And your sister was born because she was extra parts. Your sister was born if she was extra part. And I mean, it makes sense because she was born a woman, but it looks like a man. So she's extra parts for both of us. She has a bigger beard than me. And I'm just sitting there like. I don't understand. Make it make sense. Yeah, just, just make it make sense. You can't make it make sense. I've tried. I've got nowhere and she wondered why I don't like her. She wants to be a mom when she wants to be a mom, but then when she doesn't want to be a mom, it's like the end of the world. Right. So, okay. I did, I did fairly well for myself. I have a college degree. I graduated high school. I did a lot of things in high school where. I went above and beyond. You married a cripple. But you know, she got mad at me because I quit softball. I was on national honor society. I did all these other extracurriculars. I graduated with honors, but she would not talk to me for almost a year because I quit softball. I got nothing. I got nothing. I don't know. I'm a little confused. What are you confused about? She got mad at you because you quit softball. Well, I mean, you do. I don't know. Did you know mom in high school? She came up a couple times. She says she's met me, but I don't know. I have never met her before the funeral. She she called you by name. I know. And I don't know. I mean, I guess maybe because was she there the day of prom? Thinking thinking. She was there, but she didn't take, but she didn't she didn't take a chat. She said no. No, because she waited until last minute to take me to go get alterations for my dress. So I missed the entire first half of whatever our prom night was. I didn't get to the limo. Yeah, you didn't get to the dominoes driver took us from Rosedale down to little Italy. The dominoes driver mom didn't take us. The dominoes driver took us. Yeah, so she never met me unless she met me on graduation day or something, but I don't even think she met you then. I was going to say, I don't even think we seen each other on graduation day after we graduated. We kind of all went our separate ways and took pictures with our families. And she didn't come to the graduation party. No, I wasn't there at the graduation party because you guys went to a baseball game. Unless she dropped you off. She dropped me off at your house, but I don't think she came and saw you guys or anything. And then she was willing to let me walk the three miles back to the bus stop. Yeah, no, she wasn't going to pick you back up. Unless she can't dropped you off to Jamie's graduation party. I didn't go to Jamie's graduation party. I don't know when she met me. Maybe she met me one at a time that I was there at school, but I wasn't sure. I don't know. Trust me, she has the face that you would know if you met her. I would have seen her. Yeah. I mean, she just has less teeth now. Looking like the predator now. You know what she looks like. She really does look like one of those piranhas from Little Mermaid two. Where the teeth like literally just jut out from the bottom jaw. Um, I think he died. Uh oh, we lost B. B said fuck this. I'm done. Well, I'm looking at is a B on my screen. Well, why don't you tell the story about how the first time she met you when we stopped by the house? Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, I didn't get out. And I had a hoodie on cover my head stuff. And she goes, is he going to get out? And I'm like, no, no thank you. And didn't she tell you that I was a drug dealer and I just got a pretty. Yeah, because your tattoos. All my tattoos and I just had the face just profile the fuck out of that dude. And I'm like, wait, what? And this is when I wasn't smoking or nothing. I was personally normal. Well, I'm expecting. And she was like, he just looks like a drug dealer. And I'm like, it's not the worst I've been called. But it's like, it's not further from the truth. And I can even tell the story about recently when your mom came to pick up your brother and she had her finger in my chest telling me, I don't know what it's like to lose a mom. And while your brother's getting ready and telling me that I don't know anything about death and what do I know about losing a mom as she's screaming in my face pointing her finger in my chest. Hey, my camera kind of disappeared there for a minute. I noticed. Yeah, I was trying to get it. What's that? I said, somebody in the chat said, Eva ate him. No, I was trying to get my camera back. It wasn't really working for me. Did you hear? Did you hear us? Yeah, I could hear you. I just couldn't. So you didn't so you didn't miss the story about telling me what they'd like to lose a mom and stuff. Yeah, no. Yeah, that was. But you know, this woman took off an entire week to go help her, her stepfather with her mother and then never showed up to help her. Oh, I forgot about that. And she went up to the family at the funeral and was talking about, oh, well, it was just so much effort to put into helping. And there was this and there was, no, you didn't show up. I showed up. You didn't show up. I forgot about because you got all but her about how your mother who had dementia yelled at you at the at the home and through butter or cream. It wasn't but it was a block of cream cheese. She deserved it. Because she feared for her life that the cream cheese was going to get her and make her pay an air tax. The cream cheese was the air tax. The cream cheese was the air tax. Didn't she like make it like a huge thing when she was in the hospital that she has a job, a full time job and she can't be here all the time while while me was in the hospital and she started to fight with and cast. Yeah, so, okay. Mimi is a twin. Right. Yeah. Her sister stopped by to see her and everything like that. And this was before she got really bad. This was back like around Christmas. And Joyce jacket was underneath it cast as purse. Yeah. Yeah. So, Joy went to grab her jacket and the purse got snatched by a cast. And apparently when the purse got snatched Joy got hit and then Mimi was yelling about how Joy flew off the handles and everything. And then mom goes off about how joy is being disrespected. And, and Mimi's in a funeral, I'm not a funeral home I am. That's where she ended up. She was in a nursing home. Yes. It was like a rehab center. Okay. Yeah. And Mimi ended up getting kicked out of there because of everything that mom did that day. So she caused her own mother to get kicked out of the facility that was meant to help her get better. And as a result, she died six months later. Jeez, not necessarily as a result, but contributing factors. You got nothing for that one. So who do you hate more your mom or your sister? I don't hate either one of them. You don't hate either one. I strongly dislike both of them. And their faces, right? Sometimes. I feel like lies from the comment. I feel like my sister is a spitting image of mom and that she's going down the same path to be able to get catfish. Well, she already did. Well, I mean, she said that she was dating this 42 year old and this man never showed up. And then she got but hurt because this man never showed up. This was the same person that got in my face and said, I'm going to get married next to my fiance. I said, and I looked at her. This is the same person that was at our wedding, telling people that she was engaged. I said the only thing you are engaged to. Shrek is a buffet line is what my exact words to her. That is hard. So you literally have mud cricket and mud cricket junior. Gargamel. Just living together. Gargamel. They're just literally living together. I'm sorry, but anytime somebody quits a job. And they claim that it's for a specific reason. Sexual assault and then HR tries to investigate it. She's like 20. Joy is 22 and 23. She's 23. 23. If you want to see a photo of her, please slide in my DMS. I will more than happy to send you a photo. Let's check. But yes, she is still young, but she's going down the same path. Well, she was talking about where she was supposedly dating somebody, you know, twice to her age, but whatever. The photo is 20 gigabytes fair warning. So yes, my sister came to Christmas. And she was dating this guy who collected vacuum cleaners. Oh, whatever. He did. He collected vacuum cleaners for what reason you collect vacuum cleaners. We have, we have several theories. According to him, it was only to fix them and sell them. No, there's the old, they're like, they're old. Like the David. Oric one. The big one. Six one, Joe. Jesus. So he collected vacuum cleaners and we did secret Santa one year. And she came and she gave. She gave Justin head for Christmas. That's not what it sounds like. Explain it in a text if you want to know the story. That's not what it sounds like. That's just what I said in the moment to make everybody laugh. And then she went on, she goes, wow, Justin got ahead and I got sex for the first time. It is a Merry Christmas. This is an actual Christmas conversation for anybody during this. Why, why do you bring that up in front of everybody in your, your family? Because she's just like mom. Have you heard the story that we have told here? Are you surprised by any of this? They chased each other down the fucking street for Christ's sake. That also happened. And by the way, this dude had a, like a busted arm. So he kind of looked like. Like a, like a retarded T Rex. Oh, like somebody. Okay. It's okay. Um. Was it, was on like this? Like real quick. I mean, I, I don't know. I'm a little. This is where the story got weird. I didn't have an issue with him specifically. I mean, he was a weird dude, but I mean, anybody that. Okay. Okay. Anybody that collects vacuums. So this. So do you know how resell is? It's not bad, but. You got to get some. Here's how weird this dude was. I was dating her ash. And this dude was jumping and heard the M's. While dating her sister. Oh, so he wanted. Yeah. Okay. He wanted both. But I didn't, I had to step in and tell him before. Then I'd tell him off on a break off of T Rex, where I'm and beat him with it. You said something like that. You're just like me. I told somebody else's ex boyfriend that. I said that during Thanksgiving, while he was smoking a vape at their table. And this is when mom was dating. The pedophile. Well, actually I didn't tell him that I told his. Ex girlfriend, which is my wife. Yeah, I never told him that. And the last time we saw him, I told him to rip his heart out and he got a heart transplant. So I can kind of see the future. Everybody. Everybody told me I was going to have my heart ripped out. So I mean, had it. Two for one deal that day, one with a vacuum cleaner, one with a cow heart. I had some valid parts for place. So I mean. That's whatever the stories. And then we had, we had the comment. Was this a Thanksgiving about the Pac-Man condoms? Was that a dinner conversation too? Oh, that's a conversation every year. We, we, it's a greatest hit. I love greatest hits. We have, we'll have to do an episode on great. We have like 17 tracks of greatest hits of stories from here. So if you think we should do a greatest hits. Just slide in the DMS. Cause there's some good ones. I think the greatest hit should be. That's a, that should be a two parter. That's a lot. That's a two parter. That we have the story of me getting high for the first time and taking two and a half hours in a cookie. Yes. And then other people in the chat that got high for the first time that was. We have amazing. We have the, the chocolate cake incident. The chocolate cake, the, the cookies you made for the wedding. That's a greatest hit. And then the greatest, is it just the greatest hits between you two or the greatest hits of all? It's greatest hits among the group. I got some great hits. There is some, there's at least 17 tracks. But my favorite one of all time. Thanks given. I got, I got a Thanksgiving one. I got a Christmas one. We have, we have somebody's children coming over and trying to jump through our table. Oh, I got one of that too. Just look at the door. I can explain something about that later. I think we're going to have a greatest hits episode because we have to. Because that's, that's at least a good two parter. Because there's some words on my wall that I would have to show. Oh, to make sense. You have a greatest hit of somebody on your timeline saying make America gay again. Yeah, that's a greatest hit. I got a hit on that one. That's a great hit. People was dying at my house. People that actually did die and came back in like 30 seconds. Yeah. Asking us why we're staring at him. Like we have. You did. You did. We have people coming in my toilets with no name thrown out here. What else? We have the high incidents. We have that. We have the other greatest hit of another person that. You used to be on shows with us at night. The rum diaries part one and two. What else? We have vanilla wife. I can tell that story. God, we have two episodes of just me shitting on people. The attempted murder. That's your specialty. We have the attempted murder during a pay-per-view adage, which some I yelled in my face. Why didn't you pay the fucking like bill? Oh, oh, oh, oh. The greatest hit at the baseball game. God damn it. As we're leaving. Oh, yes. Some might some asshole in middle bottom. Right. Right. This down right now. Greatest hit. It's writing itself here. We're we're just we got the hostel next door. We got the grand. You mean not the hospital. You mean the brothel. You just pay a covered charge and get a BJ next door. We got grandma who I was smoking weed out in the porch with. It's it goes up from there. So if you want to see a greatest hits. Let me know because. Why am I not seeing this? Yeah, we gotta get back. Okay, any other stories you want to go? That's why I said we got to get back. Yeah, yeah, this is I know any other. You're really good at going off topic. And we all. Yes, seriously. Have you listened to their episodes? We never take them back. I mean, think about it. As many shows as we've done. They're and they're all hit. Yeah, so okay. I think that we're going to give this a month. We're going to see how this Texas move falls apart. The baby bottle thing still here. It like kind of gets me. Why did she throw it at you at two years old? She's not bad. I mean, so okay. When I was born. Dad was working like two jobs and going to school. Okay. So mom has almost at this point, mom has almost never worked a day in her life. She couldn't keep a job for anything. And the, um. The thing was is that. So I would be crying. My aunt, my grandfather and my grandmother all lived in the same house as us. Right. We lived in my great grandfather's house. And mom would sleep through most of the day. And then my grandmother would come home. Pick me up because my great grandfather would, um. Be yelling about how I wouldn't stop crying. So my grandmother would pick me up. Then grandma who had just gotten done night shift. Would watch me until my aunt got home from school. My aunt was 15 at the time. She would take over for my grandmother and she would watch me while grandmom got. Um, sleep for work that night. And mom was never around. Remember, she didn't want me because I wasn't a boy. Gotcha. So like my entire life. She would treat me. For lack of a better phrase, like the redheaded stepchild that just didn't belong. Hey, look, you got right here too. No. Oh, shut up. So not normally when I was in scout. When I was in scouts. I never knew you did. She would. I did scouts for 12 years. I never knew that. And, um. For a good portion of it, my aunt was. And, um, Mom just. Wanted nothing to do with it because she didn't get her way. Hold on. Why in the chat? Wait. They just came out with a double ended go to. Okay. So explain that one. I was trying not to. Well, I'm trying to. Okay, so they were having a bridal shower. Yeah, I think it was a bridal shower. That's what it's like. Um, at our apartment or something like that. And mom had left stuff in the bathroom. Well, I was just getting to that point where I was able to walk. And I wish I could do that. My cousins brought a shower being at the house. Um, apparently I came out with this double ended dildo. Just shaking it in the air. Practically like try. Like it's just flopping all over the place and. So you were holding it at the end or. Okay. I mean, I was like one or two. So I mean, imagine a double ended dildo and. How long that is. And I mean, at that point, it's only. 14 inches long. God. And it's just flopping all over the place. Cause mom left stuff sitting out. And blowing people in the kitchen. Yeah, we covered that already. I know. So anyway, you come out with it. Did anybody come running over to you and grab it? I think everybody was too busy laughing, but mom was like, mom was angry. Well, because she left it in the bathroom. She left it out. I mean, whatever. Mike. I have a really bad question. I'm going to get pulled in. Well, I mean, we're talking about the same person who left. She was not the only one in the party that. It's not the only one that was responsible for it, but she left a photo album. At Children's Reach. And my sister took this photo album to school because. It was show and tell. Oh, yeah. Show and tell. All right. And this photo album had less than decent pictures of. People. Many people in some. It's several people in some precarious images. But my sister thought it was okay because the guy was dressed up as Santa Claus. I mean, Santa had people tied up, but it was okay. It was show and tell. My name's. My name's I'm time people this year for Christmas and then tied into that story. My mom. My mom had a computer that she brought to scouts and she didn't have her files encrypted or anything. And we were trying to do that. I bet you opened up some pictures that net computer did. They were definitely. There were definitely some pictures that got opened up. But, um, yeah, it wasn't all just on CDs or flash drives. Or anything like that because my parents didn't know how to do that. I have people in the audience and people that are listening. When now, everybody knows where to put so-called pictures. You put them in a lock on your screen. No, no, no, no, no, no. Or you put them on a backup thumb drive. I'm going to ruffle some feathers here. That's like letting somebody fix a PC and not safeguard their, um, sexual stories. When I'm. I'm not going to put any fucking names out there. But I was trying to save your files. So I read a couple paragraphs of your sexual smut. So the next time I speak, I'm going to can do a Bible. And I'm going to ask you. Go to your nearest church. And please say, can't help me because they're stopping down with you. Or maybe you're just a prude. Okay. I'm telling you, people got their own little things going on and, you know, in the closet, whatever is story. Who the fuck's in the closet? No, no, definitely my mom. I'm not saying people are in the closet. I'm saying that people have their own little stories that they do and they're one person in the closet. W. Wilkins. Leave it up. Shut up. You don't even know if that's true. W. Wilkins, 500. I'm done. That's a greatest hit. On the next episode, we will get this bit back on track. Well, I mean, why are you going to do that? Why do nothing? I'm just saying. Some people have some things in their closet that they eat, you know, hidden from people. They're storing chat. This don't went off the rails too much. But I say we do a follow up in a month. Or whether or not taking best now. Does this happen? Yes or no? It's not happening. It's not happening. Look, if she does move. My bingo card is getting thrown into fire. Because it's all right. I'm broke that down now. I got an old bingo card. She's not moving to Texas. Okay. So the person that's in the for the first for the person that's in the chat that sees mom. That sees mom on a regular basis several times a week. I'm going to need you to get me some more information. And we need to get access to hear her email. So now we need the doctor's name. I knew the email and the doctor's name because we got it. We got to break this. I got to look him up to see if he's really true. And if he is, it's still fake. There is no fucking way that this is even even remotely true. I mean, my doctor's name was written. You know, my wife just didn't know how to spell it. That's why I will say I just googled. There are several new hospitals going up in Texas. Okay, we're at. And some of them are psychiatric hospitals. I know it. That's where she's going. This guy is not the nice way possible. Bitch, you deserve a hospital for yourself. Yep. One of them is a maximum security unit. Is any of them called Arkham Asylum by any chance? Two of them are maximum security unit three. For this is going to be prison. Five of them are maximum security psychiatric hospitals. Crazy motherfuckers. That's where they killed the Oklahoma City bomber. I was going to say that it's where they killed most people. So I mean. Yeah, Oklahoma's Timothy McVay. They killed him in Texas. Because they got the death penalty in Texas. Mm hmm. And they use it like an espresso line on the fucking shop right now. So yeah, I need a shot. I think this wrapped this up. It does. For the time being. For the time being. This is a good one. Can't wait to read the emails. Can't wait to see how many downloads this has gotten. Because I've already gotten a few tax messages that has the dead sign on them. So we know we did a good job on this one. On the next one on the next one. We go we go back on track in case something happens where her mom shows up dead or that she don't go nowhere. It will be a side note. It won't be another episode to promise you. It'll be part of the great. I mean, unless she does something stupid between now and then. That's your mom. She will. I mean, she's psycho as long. I mean, come on. We should send this episode to her. I don't know. We talked about some crazy stuff, sent a picture of the doctor. To see if I can. What if she has a new friends on Facebook? Let's go check. Oh, getting to the bottom of this. I mean, but honestly, you can go on Google and find all kinds of doctors. And be like, that's me right there. Yeah. That's him. I like honestly. Let me give him a. Pop Google right now on my nifty phone over here. That everybody. Did you say nifty phone? Yeah, nifty phone over here. Tonight phone is not nifty. There you go, people. There's the doctor. I found him. That's him. There he is. I found the picture in the doctor. And if anybody in the chat would like to see it a little bit of better, please let me know. I will send it out. No, that's not my third doctor from the Simpsons. It's Dr. Nick, the one who kills people in the Simpsons. Hi, Dr. Nick. I mean, I can go down to that. That there he is. I found him. Or here's a better one. There's a doctor. Okay. Just go, go find like the doctor on your apple phone and your. Insert face here. Yeah. And just insert a face. Insert a face. On the next episode, we don't know what's going on, but we have a new show premier tomorrow. Yup. The caution is called, there's going to be a lot of shit set over there. So don't miss it. Listen, our discretion is advised. Hi, Dr. Mario. Okay. This episode. Go. Fuck yourselves. [Music] Welcome to We are the Words. I'm Ethan. 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