The Road to Teshuva | Parts 1 and 2, by Rav Moshe Taragin
Is Teshuva Optional; How Did Rav Aharon Lichtenstein View the Realm of "Reshut" Why is There No Mitzva for Teshuva?; Maximizing Free Will; Teshuva for Lost Opportunities
KMTT - the Torah Podcast
The Road to Teshuva | Parts 1 and 2
Part of what Ello will train you is, two of us not something you just walk into, five minutes before Shoshana, or two minutes before Calmidre. It takes a lot of mental energy, a lot of preparation, a lot of attitude adjustment that was salivacic in YU would have the following posters planted across the entire Aashiv University during Ello. Kedusha Tsui hahahana. In order to reach the level of Kedusha, you require preparation. Well, that's true about Kedusha in general. Any Yumtif requires preparation. Shol in the Darshan, Lamid Yum, Kore Mahag, you start to prepare, learn the halachos. But certainly Chewva, which is a dark and deep descent into the Self, into understanding who you are, who you want to be, who you haven't become, how you can make changes. I just participated in a podcast a week ago and it was for Balabha to have left Yeshiva and having a hard time segueing out of Yeshiva. And one of the questions they asked was, Ello was so powerful and so transformative in Yeshiva, and outside of Yeshiva, at least the premise of the question was, how do you recreate the magic? So, that's a whole couple conversation. The difference between life in Yeshiva and life out of Yeshiva, and is there too much of a dichotomization in our world, that's not today's conversation. Hopefully, beyond whatever you hear from me and other people, this next month will train you, attitudinally, that when that chauffeur blows, you find a safer to read that year, you change something about your life. Svartan have an easier time with that, because the second the chauffeur blows, they're saying Srikhas every night. Ashkenazim have to wait. This year, Srikhas is a very, very shrunken, because we only start a couple days before Ashoshana. So, start finding Svartan, start listening to a podcast, start. So, hopefully, this will be not just content provision, but also will shape your attitude for years to come. Okay, is there a mitzvah to perform chuva? Very famous question, when the Ramban articulates in Hillel's chuva, the Ramban created Hillel's chuva. The Ramban didn't just write a parish on the Gomara. If you write a parish on the Gomara, you're tethered to the text. That beys, that gimmo, that dalid, whatever topics you've done. As he put together into Misechtos, the Ramban, because he was writing a standalone safer. And because he had a panoramic view of the entire tower, it's like going up in a helicopter and seeing the entire zone, the entire country, from above, he was able to create sections that don't directly correlate any of his saktos. There's no Misechtos chuva. We're now fighting a battle, and a lot of the laws of mohama are in Hillel's malachin. There's no Misechtos malachin about politics and war, and how you treat non-Jews. The Ramban cobbled together Hillel's midrashim, concepts of his own, and he built entire corpses, entire sectors of tara. One of them is the chuva. He took from the alma, he took from Sokin, he took from Gomara, since Sanhedrin, and he put together ten praka miffel chuva. Now whenever the Ramban begins the topic, he always articulates the mitzvah. The mitzvah of lulah is so-and-so in saktos. The mitzvah of Sukkah is so-and-so in saktos. And he doesn't, he does the same in chuva. Kishiyasa adam chuva, kayavadam lisvadalsal for the heck you. That's the language of the Ramban, excuse me, in parakal alphilchos chuva. Kishiyasa chuva, when you decide to do chuva, kayav lisvadals, the mitzvahs viduh, which leaves a glaring question, is there a mitzvah to perform chuva? The language of the Ram, if you decide to do chuva, this is the way, these are the matters. But it sounds like they may not be a mitzvah to do chuva. The Ram doesn't say, "Kayavadam lasal chuva." Kishiyasa chuva, kayav lisvadals. And of course the Ramam is responding to a lakuna in the pecan. Is there any possek in the taroits of a kayav chuva? Which possek in the taroa employs a lotion of sivoi to perform chuva? It doesn't exist. The closest you have is in parasha's nitzvim, where the taro writes, "Vishshavtah dasheme lukhah." Many of you show them, like the Ramban, interpret "Vishshavtah dasheme lukhah" as a mitzvah. The Ramam doesn't. It's a whole different way of interpreting Vishshavtah dasheme lukhah, not for now. So this is a famous question. The minhaskinach, in simminshin samah dalad, claims that there's no mitzvah, at least according to the Ramam, to perform chuva. Today we're going to discuss that. We're going to raise two questions today. Number one, okay, does that mean it's optional? You know the answer to that question. And the second question is assuming it's not optional, what is the taroits right in mitzvah? If it's something that's incumbent and a moral prerogative and it's normative, so why is it right in mitzvah? What's a big melodrama? What is the taroits right in mitzvah? I'm not sure if it's the first safe I would recommend for Elo. It's a very complex safer. If you read it, you have to read it very slowly. Probably each section about five or six times. If you're looking for a safer, I know a lot of you are going to show line today. The safer I best recommend to start, for the next two, three years, read a la chuva. It's a wonderful baseline of chuva. I read it when I was your age. Read it for a couple years and then start to branch out. That should be your foundation of salvechic salle chuva. It's in Hebrew and English. That can serve as a great foundation, great fundamentals. And then each year you start to diversify, excuse me, and you start to be a little more complex. So, Rabbi Salvechic and Revaron felt it's impossible that chuva is just an option. Option A or option B. It's morally inconceivable. So it's spiritually alive. Yearning for a karush barhu sensitive to the toxicity of creite sensitive to what it does to you sensitive to what it does to you. Sensitive to what it does to the karush barhu, it's inconceivable. It just means it's not a mitzvah, but it's still a morally responsible thing to do and a morally incumbent thing to do. I'll just take a moment to mention that for a look and see, this was reflective of his worldview. How do you treat the world of rishus? Areas in your life that you're not commanded. There's no mitzvahs. So, there are two different approaches that are each very polarized and Revaron's approach is somewhere in the middle. It's a very important approach. Some people say, "Look, what's God's is God's? What's mine is mine?" Hashem commanded me to put on Twitter today. Hashem commanded me to, and then the rest is my life. It's my decision. I choose what I want to do. So there's a stark binaryism between chuva and rishus. Hashem, Hashem, Hashem, Hashem, Hashem, Varys, Asam, and Nairam. If you rephrase it, Hahov, Hashem, Parashus, Nathanis of Nairam. The other approach is to breathe hov into every single nook and cranny. What does it mean? There is no rishus. Every minute of your life you're obligated. If you're not doing a mitzvah, if you're a male, you're hyped to lintara. In a strict legal sense, you are. You have to lintara every minute of your life if you're a man that you're not otherwise occupied. That phrase, otherwise occupied in a good way, can be flexed in many different ways. But without getting into the weeds of chalmatara, those are two different approaches. Where Varen felt that there is a world of rishus, which isn't covered by mitzvahs, in a formal sense of commandments. But that doesn't mean that it's morally neutral. You still have to find a way to fulfill the war to Akrashbarhu, even without stretching halachos, to tell you do this and don't do that. What's morally right? What does Hashem want for you? And his proof was that the first commandment covered both mitzvahs and rishvahs. And rishvahs, Hashem commanded Adam, mikal et tagan alchul alchul alchul, or me et tagas, lochul alchul. Sashvah said, "I'm giving you a command." Part of that umbrella of commandments is, do this, don't do this. In that case, don't. Part of it is, eat fruits of the tree and be multiplied and serve me in ways that don't have to be legislated by mitzvahs. So Chuvah is an example of that. Is there a mitzvah of chuvah going to the rambam? No. But it doesn't make it morally neutral. Someone was spiritually sensitive, for you're in Sashvah, of course. Now I want to try to quote from this. It's not as safe as it's easy to read, but I want you to hear, for everything seems voice and the power of his language. So I'll give you three quotes that just rephrase what I just said. So listen carefully. Number one, an easy quote. It's an exceedingly strange position to assume. It's absolutely chilling to think that Chuvah, the key to our present spiritual state, and to our ultimate metaphysical destiny should be merely a matter of preference and predilection. Inconceivable. Quote number two, "To sin and to remain mired in sin is first and foremost to endanger ourselves. A sin is damaging to one's personality, regardless of religious or spiritual consequences. A central aspect of our worldview is that one has responsibility, not only to others, but also to oneself. The liberal notion that a person is master of himself, and therefore can arrange his life in activities as he wishes, so long as he's ready to bear the consequences, stands totally in opposition to the worldview of Judaism, and indeed to any religious. So number one, it's inconceivable. Number two, "Do what you want with your life." No, so I won't do cheerful stuff with the consequences of Christ. That's not a morally tenable position that you do what you want with your life. Remember, one of my phrases, "Responsibility is the flip side of nobility." It's a nice turn of phrase. Responsibility is how you reach nobility. The more responsible you are in life, the greater a person you are. Here's the money shot. Here's a varn when he gets very vivid and graphic. On a moral plane, is it possible that a committed Jew would remain mired, neck deep in experimental filth? Where does he get these words? Mired, neck deep in experimental filth, continuing to choke on his own pollution? Where Chuvannada, Mitzvah, need the dungheap's denizens. That's a fancy way of saying people live in the dungheap. People live in trash. Need the dungheap's denizens be commanded to move, shower, and change? Well, let's say you're living in a garbage dump. Oh, you're commanded to shower. I'm not going to take a shower. You're filthy! You're repulsive. Go take a shower. Anyway, I see we've extended ourselves with Arishabas. On Sunday, we'll talk about, okay, we now know we've looked and seen, we're salvaging. Okay, there's no Mitzvah. It doesn't make it any less morally compelling. But why doesn't a Shem write a Mitzvah? What is our Shem's message to us? Beyond this. Why isn't there a Mitzv in the Torah? We'll pick this up and birth the Shem on Sunday. Hopefully with some more good quotes for a varn are about Mitzvah. We discuss the absence of a Mitzvah to perform Chuvannada. The Ramam says, "Kishiyyas, a Chuvah, ha'ev-le-his-bandos, lifnehakel." The Torah doesn't describe a Mitzvah for Chuvah. So I shared with you in the name of Raph Soloveczyk, in the name of Raphlochnusine, that it's inconceivable that a religiously sensitive person, an aspirational person, should not exploit the opportunity for Chuvah's ha'ev. I'm not ha'ev-le-his-bandos, lifnehakel. Today, I want to discuss a related question. So, in consequence of a Shem not writing a Mitzvah, it's inconceivable that we don't choose Chuvah, or why didn't a Shem write a Mitzvah. From a Krsbarku's perspective, why didn't he command us to perform Chuvah? Given the fact that a Shem didn't write a Mitzvah, didn't command me, it's inconceivable. It's unjustifiable. It's morally reprehensible that I shouldn't do Chuvah. But why didn't a Krsbarku command us towards Chuvah? So, today, we're going to discuss two experiential answers, and tomorrow, we'll discuss a halakhic answer. One reason is as follows. Try to broaden Chuvah from responding to sin, improving your life, rebuilding your relationship with a Krsbarku, into part of something much, much larger. What could be larger than that? Rebuilding your ruptured relationship with a Shem, atoning for your sins, improving your character, conducting a moral inventory. Well, everyone in this room is different from nature. Just like a Krsbarku is different from nature. The fact that you're different like a Shem's different, we call that Selamel Kim. Selamel Kim doesn't mean you look like a Shem. The Shem doesn't have a nose, the Shem doesn't have eyes. Selamel Kim means just like a Shem is in part of the system. He's not physical. You and I are not part of the system, even though we're physical, because we have a whole range of traits that the rest of nature doesn't possess. One of those traits, they're not going to go through all ten of them now, but one of the traits in our package called Selamel Kim is called free will. No other aspect of nature can make decisions. The tree can make a free decision. Animals can make free decisions. They're being driven by instincts, instincts to procreate, instincts to eat, instincts to migrate, planets don't have free decision. They're being driven by orbital patterns that are Shem set in motion. Everyone here has free will. That's at the top of the pyramid called Bukhira Khachas. Now you exercise your free will every minute of your life. You'll decide what to eat for a breakfast. You'll decide who to befriend. Some of the decisions are more faithful, who to marry. You'll make decisions on a moral plane, or to commit navera, to perform in Mitzvah. So we exercise our free will. The apogee of exercising free will is when you're employing that gift that Hashem gave you, not about decisions and behavior, but about identity. What I mean is you're deciding who to become. That's called authoring your own identity rather than allowing your identity to be shaped by social forces, inertia, entropy. I want to decide who I am. What values do I want to assemble? Who do I want to be in life? I don't mean who do I want to be a life doctor, lawyer, Indian chief. That's irrelevant. That's just your job. Who do I want to be? What is my soul? What are my value systems? What's my identity? That's the boldest implementation of freedom of choice. And now you're at the stage in your life where you're embarking on that journey where you're starting to build your identity. Roughly between the ages, depending on whether you're American or Israelis, it starts a little earlier for Israelis, a little later for Americans. It has pros and cons. I'm not going to get into that right now. But roughly between the age of 15 and about 26, 27 is when you start to build identity. Most people, once they're at the age of 27, they already have built their own identity and then you just make tweaks down the line. You can make adjustments, you can make changes, but more or less you're married already. You have a child or so. You're not going to go all of a sudden, run off this mountain into bed and become a Buddhist monk. You are who you are, and then you live in that reality. So implementing free will about not decisions, breakfast, mitzvos, a verus, but about who you are, that's the hardest because you have to look in yourself. To turn the magnifying glass upside down and look at yourself, not gauge a decision or gauge someone else. Chewva is the boldest moment of authoring your identity. It's the most intense moment because you're not just altering your identity going forward. Who do I want to be in 10 years? Who do I want to be? But who do I want to be five years ago? Because you're looking back at your past experiences. You're saying, "Why did I do that? Where did it come from?" And as you grow older and you become more self-aware, you become more skilled at understanding yourself and why you do things, and you can actually rewrite the past. What I'll say that is donos, nasa, kishkagos, za donos, nasa, kisukrios, if you look back at your past and you understand why you committed a sin, and you're able to locate the forces within your body, within your soul, within your psychology that led you to sin, because sin is never physical. Physical is just a manifestation. There's something deep that's driving you in security, in need, fear, and you're able to conquer those and convert them, then you're a stronger person. And having gone through that sin and being forced to assess yourself makes you a stronger person, makes you a deeper person, makes you a more solid person. So that's why your katayim can become nasa shikagos. But if it's done in a way that's authentic, it can become za doos. So you know, I quote a shbarkha who didn't write a mitzvah to perform chuvah? Because chuvah is a celebration of a chiracha's. The next 30 days, 40 days, you are celebrating the greatest gift Hashem gave you. Trees don't have it, oceans don't have it, planets don't have it, sharks don't have it. You have free will, and you're going to exercise your free will in the boldest formed fashion, the boldest fashion possible, to rewrite yourself, your past, and while you're running your past, open up new horizons to your future. You all came into this yeshiva with a narrative. How bold will you be in authoring your identity? Will you stick to that narrative? I was supposed to go to this college, I was supposed to become this person. I saw myself in a certain way when I was 16, when I was 17, or now that new gusts of wind have come into your world, because you've seen this yeshiva, and you've seen greatness, can I not just change my lanes on the highway, but can I change the highway? Can I decide? I want to head to a different highway. Now that doesn't have to be professional, I'm going to become a rebby, doesn't have to be geographical and make all the... I could be that as well. But I saw myself in a certain way, and now I can see myself in a new way. So Shem didn't want to mandate Chubha, because that would gut the core of Chubha. Chubha's free will, so Shem offers you a gift. He says, "I'm not going to command you to perform Chubha. I'm going to describe Chubha, I'll offer the possibility of Chubha, because it's not something even beings can imagine to rewrite your past, but it has to be your choice, because ultimately it's not about solving or resolving this sin, solving or resolving that sin. It's about exploiting the gift they gave you to the fullest. And this is the moment. I promise you that there is a direct quotient of the amount of effort you put in over the next 40 days to the satisfaction and gratification you'll feel on Matayam Kippur. If you work hard over the next 40 days, I will absolutely guarantee you on Matayam Kippur, you'll say, "Wow, I'm a different person. I'm completely different than I was 40 days ago." Now, will it last? Probably not, because these things fade, but increment by inches. You change every year by inches, you go a little bit more. So next year, when you start that process of transformation, you're a little bit different. And then after that, you're a little bit more different. So don't think that whatever transformation you have, these wild fluctuations don't last by definition. But it's incremental. Step by step, you move forward. That's one reason Akarish Barghu didn't demand or command Chuvah. Another reason is his follows. Revar now, I'll read some quotes for Avochnissim. You should be performing Chuvah over the next four months, and next month, excuse me, performance also. Not just for Chathayim and not just for flagrant vowels and for flagrant de serum. And I think this is something which resonates very, very deeply for high school kids that are now joining the issues. You've seen people here that are tremendous. Here's a mental experiment. Imagine all the time you wasted in high school. If you took a fifth of that time and spent it learning, how different would you be on an alafellal issue at Haaretzia? I'm not saying all the time. I'm not saying 40% of the time. I'm saying 20% of the time. Now, as you grow older, the sad part is, that becomes a more painful moment because you look back in life and you waste opportunities. Think about doing Chuvah not just for failures and moral collapses, but for waste opportunities and for waste resources. And for Avochnissim, waste opportunities was a moral crime. I'm going to read some of his quotes, but I warn you, they're very harsh. No one can live a life like Avochnissim. Like with everything else, we talked about this at McTish Friday night, creating a pedestal, not just the people, but of high ideas, even when you don't reach those ideas, elevates your game, because your ceiling has been heightened. And even if you never reach that ceiling, you know you're striving for something beyond just mediocrity and beyond plateau and beyond capping yourself. So here are a couple quotes from Avochnissim, and every day I'm going to try to provide some of these quotes. You ready? Here's a quote. Three quick quotes. Number one. I thought I could find the quote. Where's a quote in part nine? Okay. I can't quote it. But I'll have some other quotes in a second. Now here it is. The failure to exploit, some of these words you may not know, I'll translate them to you. The failure to exploit spiritual potential. The failure to drink spiritual life to the least, L-E-S to the max. The failure to drink spiritual life to the least is not just some kind of pallet passivity. Pallet means weak passivity. But in the perception of Hazal, it is spiritual rot. Describe this such and condemn this such. And he quotes examples in Hazal with the opportunity to perform the midst of Otheocab or something, and failure to seize that is spiritual rot. So the opportunity which is wasted is spiritually decayed. Quote number two. Retrospectively we realize we could have structured our lives so much better, suffused it with greater value, organized it more efficiently, utilized time and effort more wisely. We could have set our priorities more correctly. We look back upon life. And as you get older, you look back upon life with greater sadness. And even when we don't see active evil, we see so much waste. And waste itself is evil. Waste itself is evil because the shame gave you that potential. And now of course the last quote. Chuvah is not just an opportunity per se. It is the opportunity to amend for all the missed opportunities. It is the opportunity to amend for all missed opportunities. So Hashem wanted Chuvah to be an opportunity so that our Chuvah will not just focus on avaros and crimes but on opportunities we didn't take. Now I'm not going to waste this opportunity to think about all the opportunities I wasted. And if this would be locked in the world of Mitzvah, then my Chuvah scope would be locked in the world of Mitzvahs and avaros. But Hashem unlocks Chuvah from the world of Mitzvah. He uncaged his Chuvah as soon as here's an opportunity to do Chuvah. And by the way, think about all the other opportunities you didn't maximize. So those are two reasons why Akrashparku did not command Chuvah. One is because he wants you to realize this is your moment to take the tool I gave you and implement it, sharpen it, use it. If you succeed at Chuvah, you'll be successful at life because you'll know that you're free. And you won't see the world as pre-deterministic. And you won't take your marching orders from cultural. And you won't take your marching orders from your own weaknesses. You'll stand above your taller than outside forces that can influence your decision. Your taller than internal forces that pressure you in life. Number two, you realize I can't just think of life and obligation and failure has to think in life of my wasting time or my taking opportunity and maximizing it. Tomorrow we'll talk about a third reason why Chuvah isn't a Mitzvah. Have a good week everyone.