Golan-Globus Theater
Day of the Warrior (Andy Sidaris, W/Malibu Mike)
[music] We're cold slither, you'll be joining us soon. A band of vipers, real or two, with a mild miss. And our reptiles, yes, we shall rule. We're tired of worse, we've heard it before. We're not going to play the game no more. You'll kill us once right, you'll tell us what's wrong. To enter a kiss, 'cause now right is wrong. [music] [music] She's a little lady, she comes on like a baby. She makes you think that maybe you could be the one. Yeah, she comes on with a passion. But she's really on for action. Her salmon and her traction keeps the juice in the cold. She's a cold rub. It's where she goes, she's a cold rub. No one really knows, she's a cold rub. That means she's a cold rub. She'll always win. [music] Welcome, Ingolin Globies. That beautiful tune you just heard. Again, once again. Our boy fucking Glen Danzig being put to fucking shame. One song in his movie. Who's the musician here? Is it Andy Sedaris? Probably he's a multi-talented. Obviously that is Cobra's theme, one of our characters from this movie. Got her own fucking montage theme song. When you're watching somebody take a shower and get dressed, you need some music to spice it up. You really do need some music. Now, before we get into all this show, we gotta guess. By the way, of course you already know that. You already know this. You know we're never doing a Sedaris. Before I get into anything, I think Mike's going to want to chime in and what I have to say. It's Malibu Mike Abilene. The Lost Abilene Brothers back. Sedarifile. Mike. How you doing? I like that term. That's good. Sedarifile? We're going to use that. Yeah, the millie didn't recognize me. I came in and I'm super tan right now. I just got back from Molokai. You know, but cut the vacation short because I had to be here for you guys. Show your services are no longer needed. We have a tan man. We tell to replace you. Well, you don't have to replace Joe because, you know, he's tan and jacked. And I'm tan and doughy. So, you know, we get the best of both worlds. It's true. It's true. Sedarifile does a good job of giving us, you know, tan smaller dudes, tan mentally challenged folks like Tyler, like he gives us a full breadth of characters every time. Is this the first movie? No, I think they try to sell us Lou Ferrigno as being sexy and he's kind of off. He is hard of hearing. He's partially deaf. Well, I know he's partially deaf. I'm not the same guy the way he speaks. I'm saying, by the way, he fucking acts, guys. Jesus. You guys, last time you two were together, you buried a fuck out of me. You buried yourself. We can't even do the show. No, this is a great segue to what I wanted to talk about because- Wait, wait. What? What can they say? Okay. I am now officially suspending my presidential campaign. What? No. Yes, there are too many tims in the race. I don't want to get confused. We're both from the Midwest. We're both coaches. He does high school football. I do seniors pickleball. I get tough on you, Mildred. Don't ban your fucking elbow. No. Straight. Exactly. You got to get the arm extended. But, yes. Sorry, people. You can still write my name in, but I'm not going to accept if I do wins. I probably will. No. Murray, I know everybody hearing this. That's why he calls me Murray because he doesn't want people to confuse me. I don't want anybody confusing me with anybody. Also, if you go down 8 Mile, Murray is the name on the hotel, the lighting district. You're all over 8 Mile. I didn't realize your family owned most 8 Mile. Now, everyone probably wants to know who are you endorsing? You're dropping out? Well, that's the highest bidder. The highest bidder? You're just putting it out there. Yeah, I mean, the G&G bump is a real thing, people. It's true. It's true. And so, yes. I will. I'm open to conversations of both parties. I'll talk to the fucking brainworm of Robert Kennedy. He dropped out, too, man. He did not drop out. He's suspended. We both suspended the campaign. I'm not officially dropped out. Okay. I'm spending my campaign. Still vote for me. Send me money. Send me money. Still, I'm just not going to use it toward his campaign. Murray is going to still show up, but he's going to be underneath a mask like Dusty Rhodes in the Midnight Rider gimmick. You just blew it. Thanks. To comment on my host, dasya blow. I was going to share a popcorn with a black woman. Guys, these are officially the words of Dusty Rhodes. Unifier of all people. Oh, my God. American Dream. I share popcorn with a black woman. God, I love Dusty. All right. That's it. Enough about that. What were you about to say, Mike, about him? Just fill in his ways. Just, you know, coming off the Olympics, it got me thinking about bravery. You know, Nancy Kerrigan. Yes. Getting her knee smashed. Of course. That one little girl. Kerry Strong. Yeah. Twisting her ankle, but still going. Okay. Then Phil. He got ran down in that coffee episode. Unjustifiably. Yeah. And he had the bravery to come on the show and confront it and bury the hatchet. He extended Nala branch. He extended his hand and friendship in Griffin. Just like when the mega powers were forming, Griffin's macho man. Is he going to shake the hand of Hogan? Is he not? And eventually he did. And I just want to say that I'm happy that you two were able to bury the hatchet. And shout out to Noah, find out about your brain surgery, dude. Friend of the show. Glad you're pulling through. I'm glad you brought that up because I hate Phil now because by the way, I know I really hate our followers because Phil put together some amazing, ginti-inspired Mentos commercials. Three of them for us. Yes. And they're all amazing. Excellent. Like, give me a picture of a movie poster. I'll give you a like for that. Something that took effort. Right. You're not impressed. You got to see these, Mike. I'll check them out. They're fucking delightful. The Riptorn one is chef's kid. Oh, I haven't seen that one yet. You're eating some Mentos. But I hate him because he said, hey, listen to the episode. Thank you for opening with my favorite King Diamond song. And I went, pump, what? It's a merciful fate song. Oh, no. And he goes, well, same thing. I said, you fucking imbecile. Oh, no. It is not the same thing. Just because King Diamond sang for merciful fate does not mean it's a King Diamond song. They're two entirely different sounds, two entirely different bands. Oh, no. Go listen to your man of war and leave the hall. Do you smell that? I do. There's some rotting beef that needs to be, you know, settled. This is fresh beef. Oh, is it fresh beef? I think rotting. Okay. I got an alligator. I still like you, Phil. You haven't done anything to piss me off yet. He hooked us up with those Mentos commercials, so he's a winner in my book, because I was saying that during that episode, I was like, this movie is a fucking Mentos commercial. And next thing you know, we've got our own Mentos commercials. Yeah, he just chunked them out. He just chunked them out. That's why I said, can I come to you for audio and visual shit, because the grift can do it somehow. Wow. And he said anytime. Anytime. God damn it. So he's got a Noah, who you said I was trying to replace you with. Are you going to replace me with his son, Noah? Do we each have our own Noah's? We're going to replace each other with? He's not going to replace me with Phil. Yeah. Oh, okay. Right. Noah's recovering. He could just be in the background and his son could take over because you need a young voice on here. You can't have two old gentlemen on here. Two old gentlemen on here. Oh, Mike, Tim, how? I don't remember you being a Sedera file since I've known. I'm not. When did you start working at the shop, April of 2010? So I've known you as 2010, I thought it was earlier. No. I've known you for full time, full time April, 2010. So it would have been sometime in 2009. Okay. So I've known you 15 years. Let's go with 15. And I never really remembered you bringing it because if I'd known what a Sedera file you were, I would have had you on for the hits that we've already done. Heart ticket, Picasso trigger. Is this a new thing? Have you always been a secret undercover Sedera file? No, I'm a new Sedera file. Like I said in the Dallas Connection episode, I saw that at a young age around 4th or 5th. No, it came out in '94. So it would have been probably 5th or 6th grade, I think. I don't remember how old I was, but that's when that was the story of all the boys in my class were starting to talk about nudity in movies and getting new girls and shit. And I still just wanted to watch horror movies, but this is full of nudity though. Right. So I rented Dallas Connection based on the VHS box because I was like, there has to be a bunch of naked chicks in this. So I'll rent that and see if that like awakens me. And I watched them like, all right, I mean, I still just want to watch horror movies. Yeah, you're just... I like how he uses the phrase "erakens" too because it's like that there was one of those books I had to read or movies I had to watch about the woman awakening or something like that. Yeah, it was the Force Awakens and Mike's very own coming of age tale, getting a Sedera's movie. Yeah. So then I just mill Creek a few years ago, put them all out on Blu-ray. So I upgraded all of them to Blu-ray. Apparently, there's some rumblings that we might be getting a vinegar syndrome box set. Ooh, I can't wait to pay $500 for that. $5,000. You won't have to because I'll probably buy it and then you can inherit my Mill Creek Blu-ray. Okay. Sounds good. I'm excited for that. Okay, so you're a newfound. You like put it away, you said it does nothing for me. And then it took... Well, like many things. It took Golden Globus Theater to reawaken the Force, how many of you... Yeah, which one did you jump back in with? Dallas Connection. When you guys were doing it, and then I forget how it came up, but was that... I think I came to you with Dallas Connection because that was the... You did, because you said you wanted to tell your story, your sexual awakening. Yeah. I mean, that's what you do in this actual, all kinds of action. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. You guys were doing... You had done two or three Sedaris movies before that. Yeah. Yeah. And then I was just looking them up because I make these movies sound insane. And I was like, "Oh shit, Dallas Connection. I definitely saw that as a kid." And I was like, "Baka, that's an excuse to get on G&G again." Yeah. I love it. You know what I mean? You don't need an excuse, Mike. You're welcome to come on. You're like... You're the pete best of G&G. G&G. Wait, I didn't... I didn't want to overstep my bounds because you bring me on for Schlachtober a lot. And then... Well, we know. You're the fuckin' Halloween guy, you know? And you on like Phil, did we settle whether Phil like bike people or not? He was kind of... He... Phil likes black people. Okay. I'm just fucking out there. Does he have a black friend? Mike is... Phil is lucky that Mike's here today because our memories, me and Murray, our memories are fucking... Yeah, by the way. I... We've said it a million times. I hate when people laugh at their own jokes, but we were pretty damn good on the coffee episode, guys. You too, Mike. We were just killin' it. We were... Coffee was a strong episode. It was strong episode. No fun intended. Oh, I see what happened then. We do like our coffee black, so... Yep. But this movie, A Day of the Warrior, this is what his second to last movie. Yep. He's back in the director's chair after his son almost destroyed the franchise, pulled a fuckin' Abram on it, you know. Oh, JJ. I wouldn't say he almost destroyed the franchise. His son's first one is the worst so far, but then he course corrected a bit with Dallas Connection. But Sederis and he is back, and it feels right. By the way, if you're not a Sedera file, the Sedera cinematic universe is a family affair. His wife is involved, he's a producer, the son is involved. Everybody's on set, everybody's working on scenes together, you know, this is not quite erotic enough. This is from the female gazes, how I would like to see this work out. Her tits aren't hard enough. Yeah, there was not a natural tit to be seen in this movie. Yeah, that was a bummer. Even some of the packs where you could tell they were, you know... Doc definitely had some enhancement. Enhancement. Oh yeah. Yeah. So... Don't even get started. We all notice the cab sign, Buff Bag. Yeah. Of course we do. Fake is far. Oh my God. That might have been the worst surgery we've seen in Sederis movie as the big cab sign, Buff Bagwell. But here's the thing about this movie, 'cause this is near the tail end of the Sederis cinematic universe. Much like the Marvel cinema, it's running out of steam at this time. I feel... Absolutely. My personal opinion. Andy Sederis had said everything he needed to say about tits at this point, and he's kind of just phoning it in. Like he was looking like, "My fans, they need more, but I've said all I've had." That's why he handed it off to his son, I believe. Yeah. If you have more to say about tits, I've said all there is to say, and it's son failed, miserably. Apparently. And he came back, tried to salvage the good name of Sederis. Right. And I know this isn't always in horrible, but I'm thinking about the classic trilogy, the Donna Taren Trilogy of heart-taking it to Hawaii, Picasso Trigger, and Savage Beach. I mean, that's like the original Star Wars trilogy. It is. It is. Timeless classic. And I hope he never goes back and put CGI in it. Like he makes tits look more natural, or make bigger, or whatever. Well, well, he done died, so I don't think we have to worry about that. His estate could do it, though, and we don't want it. They probably... Disney probably already bought it off, you know. I wonder... I wonder who owns that. Is it still in the Sederis family? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. It was quite still alive. Yeah, she's the one that runs the store. Maybe, maybe she sold it to Mill Creek, or whatever. But yeah, I just felt like there were so many elements I'm so used to. Where's Hawaii? Where's the hot tub? Where's the fucking RV vehicle? Where is Sederis? He's the Alfred Hitchcock of the Sederis Cinematic Universe. He always pops up. Maybe he did pop up. We didn't see it. But I did not see him in this movie. This one, you're right, this is not the strongest of the bunch. I feel like, at that half way line, and I don't want to pick on her, I'm sure she's a nice lady. But she's no longer with us either, if I don't want you to take it off. Okay, but once Julie Strain enters the picture, that's basically where you're like, okay, you can keep watching these and you will get something out of most of them, but prior to Julie Strain entering is where it's at its best. It's Sederis full blast. This was definitely like an older band coming back for a greatest hit store. Yeah. Yeah. Because that was the Abilene store. And it wasn't a lot. Like, they lay it on heavy until the Abilene stops showing up, which I think Dallas Connection is the first non-Abilene. That's how I'm sure it went wrong. Why? Why? Because it's a name. Right. But it's great. We need a blonde hip ball. We need a guy that shoots and can't hit anything. Yeah. And at least a couple scenes. Were there any others? Because he's told me there's some other callbacks. Well, we were talking earlier about your, we got code names that end up being like really heavy handed jokes that are hard to miss. Yeah. And this one, but starting with hard-hunted, they started introducing two dumb assassin characters. Like comic relief characters. Right. And that's where it starts to get really cartoony. And they introduce themselves and they say their names are God, what was the first seven names? You told me one was like, Wylie. Oh, yeah. Wylie. And then the other one says his name is Coyote. And the bad guy that hires him is like. So Wylie and Coyote and they're like, there are code names, not a real names, which is a gag they do in this one, but they also do it in enemy gold with the names evil and can evil. But they're the same two actors playing different characters. And it gets to the point where they get blown up in both movies, but they don't die. Instead, they're just like covered in soot and they're closed and shredded. And they're like, insert, joke here, da, da, da, da, da, da, and it starts to take the fun out of it because in the first six movies, when Sedaris was in his prime, yes, there was some winking at the camera, but there was never any like plain, just no suspension and disbelief. Right. Right. Like there were stakes. You were emotionally vested with characters. Yeah. And now it's like, okay, something smaller scale killed someone two seasons ago, but you blow these guys up and they're fine because they're now cartoon characters. Yeah. Back back for this one, which whatever, it's fine, I guess, it's not my favorite. I was speaking of bringing people back. The previous movie tells connection are heroes, our lethal ladies. I remember as villains and even had the same code names. Yeah. And on this movie, they're heroes. We got Julie strain. We got Julie K. Smith, not to confuse the other Julie Smith. And you were very upset about scorpion being recast. Yeah. Because when we did the Dallas connection episode, we ran down who our favorite woman of the lethal ladies was, and we all had a different one. So that's good. No fighting. And I chose scorpion and they recast scorpion. Yeah. Maybe something's going on. That's another thing, you mentioned the Julie strain when she joined. It was like, it made the transition from Playboy girls to penthouse girls, even though we do get a playmate who has probably the worst hits of all in this movie, tiger, rice. Oh my god. That's the one thing I think you get right. I'm a penthouse guy because penthouse had women that were Playboy caliber, but they were like dirtier. Okay. And that's what I like. Okay. And not as bolted on because man, well, I think that was that was the 90s. I think 90s was the peak bolt on titty. Yeah. It's kind of, and then 2000s thanks to a brave young man named Sir Mix a lot, he said, hey, ass is all right too. So I think in the 2000s, we've embraced ass. Thank you. Yeah. The 90s were all about bolted on tits and flat asses. We get flat asses in this movie. Yeah. Yeah. We'll get, we'll definitely get there. Fireplace John the heart plan. It's a beautiful shot except for that zero handkill ass. Yeah. Pancake. Pancake. Let's get, if we get to the trailer, if there is a trailer, I don't see there's make trailers. I probably, if not, you're just going to hear a hard ticket to Hawaii play. I think the blue race have the trailers. I can get it to you. Yeah. Can't find it. We'll see. It's probably out there. All right. So we're going to cut to maybe, maybe not trailer for the movie day of the warrior. Day of the warrior and Andy Suderys film. Undercover agents of the Lethal Force have a high priority mission to stop the warrior. Our contact man in Washington has succeeded in breaking into the Lethal Force computer system. Red alert. This guy warrior, who the hell is he anyhow? He's the mastermind behind a billion dollar black market network. And if this break-in has anything to do with him, he'll kill them. It's a worse nightmare, Tyler. Have someone in our organization given us up? We're going to get killed. You've got to think positive. Positive. We're going to get killed. The ladies of the Lethal Force are undercover. And at the top of their form. This is better than I expected. Load all your guns, look for excitement, and leave your inhibitions behind. You know what to do. The Lethal Force is armed and ready for the day of the warrior. Ha! Come on, boob. Ah! Day of the Warrior, an Andy Cenerys film starring Pit House Pets Julie Strange, Julie K. Smith, Playboy Centerfold, Shea Marks, American Gladiators Ray Sap Comet, and WCW Wrestling Sensation Marcus Bagwell as the Warrior. Welcome back as always bringing you those hot trailers that we watch in the intermission to. Like we take our time. We don't know what we're talking about when we come out of that trailer, so it was good. It was sexy. Real good. That's right. And Murray, how do you open up a fucking Cenerys movie? You give the audience what they want. TNA. TNA? That's right. We got Cobra. Well, we don't know it's Cobra because she's wearing like a burglar mask on stage. She's wearing it's grip on it all. She's doing a little Death Race 2000 Frankenstein cosplay. Oh, nice call. Yeah. I love doing it well. Yeah. If we're picking a girl for this movie too, like we did for Dale's Connection, Cobra's already got my vote because any woman cosplaying as Frankenstein from Death Race 2000 has my fucking vote. That is Chris King Frankenstein. That's it? From Death Race 2000, not Boris Carla. Yeah, exactly. Except those boots, those fucking boots he wears. Yeah, she's bumping and grinding on the stage. What did we do where we had all the theme dances? That was strip to kill. Strip to kill. Yeah. Is this dance worthy of strip to kill? No. No. No. Strip to kill had production value. Yeah. He had dropped stages. I think she had the talent to be at the Ramrod, but like you say, like Mike's saying, she didn't have, she was working on a, I mean, the mask was good. Yeah. She's working, she's workshopping. Yeah. This is the demo tape. She's trying to get to see audition. Yeah. She's trying to get in. Because we know. Ramrod. He's from Mr. Roper. I don't remember his character's name. Oh yeah. His criteria was high. It was high. So yeah, she's working on it. She was stringing budget and yet he was like the production or every fucking cent that comes in this place you see on the goddamn stage. There's no big titties in that movie. Yeah. And this was probably, this was a bummer too, right? Because she was wearing this weird apparatus on her chest that was kind of like squeezing her boobs. Yeah. And so I was like, oh wait, we might have some real boobs in here. Yeah. Big ones, but they might be real. And then when the mask came off and I saw who it was, I was like, that wasn't real. That was not your all. Yeah. And she utters the sweet, sweet line. You can own me. If you just call me. Cobra. Cobra. Can you deliver that line again as Cobra Commander? I don't know if I can't. I can't speak for the rest of the episode but it shreds my throat. You can own me if you just call me Cobra. A little bit more of a lispy. Yeah. That's so good. Sorry. You flew to a fuck go closer to the song. I'm just trying to also get some of that flam out of my system. So another thing missing, I mean, we do get that fantastic Cobra theme song, but. So they're says, no, and they don't do this. They were talking about last week about the pornos, theme songs, heart tick to why classic song. This was just some generic music with there was no lyrics. I was like, why is she? First of all, it's opening to Cobra stripping. Why not the Cobra theme song? Yeah. I don't know. Cobra's thing in this whole movie is scenes of her getting dressed. Did you notice that? That's half the movie. Half the movie. Yeah. It's her putting on stockings and her. She's dressed taking a shower just as she can undress in the show. Yeah. He's not making that up. Yeah. That happens. Yeah. All right. So that's it. We're in a classy strip club. It's in Beverly Hills. We learned she's undercover in Beverly Hills. Yeah. Well, we were talking about off Mike, we were talking about how bond movies have to be two hours. We have to have the 20 minute action opener, you know, the cold opening. Yeah. Do you ever wonder why we don't do bond movies? Because they're over two hours, yeah. But Sedaris is like, I can do that in two minutes, make it sexier, give the audience what they want. You walk in, you got a boner. You're ready to go. Yeah. There we go. Sedaris does it in two minutes, not 20. That's what we always say. We can come in. We can fix your fucking movie. There's going to be a 90 minute bond movie as soon as merman productions get that sweet licensing. No. It fills your plate with actual food. No garnish. Thank you. That is a beautiful way to put it. Yeah. Thanksgivings around the corner people. Just remember that beautiful metaphor. So we cut to sweetest goes straight from the strip bar to lethal headquarters. What's lethal stand for? What's stand for, Mike? Well, we didn't find that out the first time they introduced that acronym, I believe in Dallas connection. I believe we found it out here. It stands for Legion to ensure total harmony and the law. Right. And we see a new recruit, Tiger. Yes. Who's Tiger? Well, I'm glad you asked that, Griff, because that's this, Mike, Mike, and I'm on autopilot right now. As Griff vomits into a towel. Tim's not even here. He's phoning this in. Literally. I'm not even in the room with those guys. No, no, it's Miss May 1994, Mike. Miss Shea marks. You asked, do you wonder what her turn ons are? I was wondering what her turn ons are. Well, I'll tell you what her turn ons are. Convertible porsches, porsches people, and that is any convertible, men in suits. Oh, yeah. Sushi. Okay. Beach volleyball. Way better than gym volleyball. And working out. Wait. So you're telling me that Griff is a shoe win to be Mr. Tiger? If he wants it, it's their waiting for them. What our turn offs, though? People without ambition. All right. Rush hour traffic. Up there. Overconfident, man. Okay. Bad pickup lines. She has a lot of stuff, people. Overstyled hair, which I am so agreement with her, there is such things over styling your hair, man. Tiger would not like me. Yeah. What's it overstyled hair? It's just too much work. It's just like you're just doing too much to gel and product and everything. You got an example off the dome. Any like European guy, like. So okay. So let me ask you this. Because I put product in my hair. Otherwise, it's unruly. That's why I'm wearing a hat today. Is it the amount of product or the amount of time you spend doing it? I think it's both. It's a combination. Let's say you can't have any product, I think you do the right amount. Okay. But there's like, she's saying it's overstyled. She wants you to style your hair. All right. It's overstyled. Yes. If you're taking up much time as she does to get her hair done. Oh, okay. And the last one is assuming I've said yes before I have. Oh, okay. So she wants to make decisions first. So, tiger as the most comically large tits in this movie. Unbelievable. Yeah. They're beach volleyball size tits. Like if if someone think about this, if someone were to do a Halloween costume as Dolly Parton. Yeah. That's what this woman actually looks like. Yeah. Like a like a take in the piss Halloween costume. It's like all those Republicans who say drag drag shows are ruining America and then there's a foot like a photo of them in college in drag. It's the tits they give themselves. Yeah, right. That's what she has there. Like I said, there's an uncanny valley between girly girl and drag queen. And she's going to do that drag queen thing. Yeah. She doesn't emphasize how flat her ass is too. Right. So you're not doing herself any favors, but remember, this is the 90s. Big tits. I just end up feeling so bad for this woman too, because it's like she did this to please somebody, maybe herself. Get into playboy. That was all half love the fake tits. But the face, she had the filler lips and she had a bunch of shit going on. Yeah. She's probably 25 at the time. And it's just, it's horrible to see that. I feel so bad for this person because yeah, she might have been in her mid 20s and she just fucking like who was saying awful shit and she might have just had been born with body dysmorphia. Right. Like she might have just, yeah, but yeah, I'm willing to bet someone put that thought in her head like, hmm, you could be prettier. You know what I mean? Can't we blame Mr. Sedaris? Oh, I don't know. I think Mr. Sedaris, he has his preference, but I don't think he would push anyone to do that. You know what I mean? Well, what I can tell you about Tiger is I'd like to think so. I would like to think that too. Tiger in 1993 is a woman who knows her computer. So she's working hard on a screensaver. You know, she wants the flying toasters, not evil, can evil jumping the buses, which was the best screensaver. So she's hard at work when she's got to put on the password to, you know, change the background. That's what you got to do. And she just gets alerted across the screen, blinking, yelling at her. Passwords been compromised. Uh oh. We got ourselves a hacker. And you know how they always say you got to use different passwords for different things. And we know nobody does it. Everybody uses the same password. I use one, two, three, four, five for everything, just like the code to the atmosphere in space balls. That's right. I just use password. He uses password. I don't, I just, I guess we shouldn't be saying our passwords out on. Yeah. That's all right. I'll change mine to one, two, three, four, five, six, and they'll never know. But I do one, two, three, four, five, six, six, six. I'm going to do a password with dollar signs and the S's. I like this. I like this. So it works out. There, one of your listeners is like, fuck, how do they know my password? There's so many people right now and like, oh, shit, I got to change that. So we're learning that all of lethal uses the same password and it is the three digit password ABC, you know, you got to keep it simple for some of these people who are computer illiterate. Yeah. These are people of action. They don't have time for nerd shit. So she hits the print screen button, goes over, she's got a nice ASCII art photo of ripped hornets. It's big tits. It's just big titties. Yeah. It's just a, it's just a dick and ASCII art. And she's got to take it to her boss, commander Willow Black, played by Julie Strange, who, hey, penthouse, they didn't do turn on to turn on. So I got to say, Willow actually felt like a real character. Most of the people felt stiff to me. Willow seemed to have something. So well, she's played the character of Black Widow and Dallas connection. Now she's a totally different character. Willow Black. She was steel panther and another one and blue steel. They were the band. Got their name. It might be. Yeah, she played steel panther, blue steel, Black Widow and Willow Black. Oh, man, Andy. But this is probably one of the greatest openings, like just transition shot. Yeah. She's all about getting, you know, she lives a 48 hour life, but she's got to fit in to 24 hours. Right. So we get a nice shot for... That's a beautiful way to say it. Nice shot of her in a sexy leotard on the Stairmaster. We're looking at the right glute as we open the frame. And according to IMDb, they never lie. Never. It was her idea. He said, "Andy, I need to be in this outfit. I think it works for the scene." And he's like, "Go with it." He checked out. I'm sorry. And what should I have respect for this man in his art? I think he checked out after the classics. Yeah. Right. He mixed business with a good time originally, and that's why they seem like so much fun. And it seems like everyone involved was having a ton of fun. Yeah, I bet these were fucking fun. It's hell to be working on these. Right. And then when he came back for this one, he was just like, "Yeah, dude, everyone was here to have a good time." Like, didn't really... Again, I thought this worked, though, because you're just used to seeing the people be like already naked or something. And so she's at least trying to give you a little bit more, a little bit of that. That could have been a scene in your porno that you had to look up for. All American girls too, Colin in Heat, which I still haven't gotten a copy of yet. It's been a whole week. What movie? And don't forget, he will send you a digital copy if you purchase it for him. Yeah, that's right. I will be kind enough to do it. That's right. We'll do a momentum breakdown of the whole thing if you buy that for Murray. Right. We'll do a whole movie. I'll draw arrows. We'll do the penthouse. We're going to do a mystery science theater where people can watch it and it'll be playing over. You know what? You know what? We'll do that. We'll do that. We're putting it out there. We're putting it out there for the universe. So she's working the glute master and she's getting the information from Tiger that all our undercover agents have been compromised. Right. It's three of our best working on the warrior, this mysterious professional wrestler slash smuggler. Yes. Super athlete went in, swept the Olympics one year. Is this when they give us the dossier on him or is that a little bit later? No, that's a little late. Okay. We learned about our agents and what they're doing in the field. Correct. Because the dossier cracked me up. The dossier. I can't wait to get to it. Fucking so good. So, grip it out to Tiger, but it's really cobra stripping at Beverly Hills because there's a big diamond pirating thing going on in Beverly Hills at that time. So, the cover is a stripper. This is like all the little things that warrior's doing in the background. Our hero, it should be Doc, Doc Abilene. Yes. Doc Austin. Awful. He's on the border. He's in like, I think he's in Southern Texas on the border working on a smuggling ring and then shark and my apologies. This is like market scorpion. Black. The dollar store scorpion is working on the porno thing that warrior's got going on. Porno ring. But we've got his fingers in all kinds of things. Yeah. Yeah. Literally. His fingers and things. He does. And if warrior hears about our agents, their goose is cooked. Yeah. Because with the whole system being compromised, they assume that warrior might be behind it and is actually stealing information. Right. We'll get all the agent names. We might have a leak in lethal. That is well. Yeah. Right. So there's a lot of bad things. All the agents are out in the cold. And that's spy talk, guys. Right. That's spy talk. Right. So we see our first hero, Doc, he's in a Jeep, pulls up at one of the flimsiest fucking tool sheds I've ever seen in my life. Jesus Christ. I was, what are we doing here? I was so confused. This is not up to code. I'll tell you that one. No. People of nowhere, there's a shack. And apparently this is where the smuggled goods get from Mexico get, I don't know where they're going. I don't know if they're going from here to Mexico or Mexico to here. Right. But this is where they go through. And we see two uniformed men whipping a young man. Yeah. You got one on the outside protecting and this is, Doc's got to figure out a way to get this guy knocked out. And then inside this tiny three foot by three foot shack, there's another man who just is completely oblivious to anything going outside and gross and whipping this guy isn't gross and whipping. Yeah. So Doc grabs his hand cannon. The old fucking Magnum 44 weapon master. You can correct us if we're wrong, the Abilene gun, the Abilene gun that first introduced in Malibu Express 1985 by Cody Abilene, the greatest of the Abilene's really incredible. Yeah, I didn't, I got to, I got to check up on my obliques. Incredible. He's probably, he's the only one with a mustache. Right. Yeah. He's, he's like peak griff. Oh, well, there's an Abilene with a mustache. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Malibu Express. Yeah, we did it. We did with Mike. Simple Dan-ing was in that. That was a while ago though. Right? It was a while ago. Okay. Thank you. Jesus. In my opinion, it's the greatest, the dearest movie. I got to watch it again. I'm going to, I know where to find him. I know. But he's working stealth. So he's used that for backups. He puts the can, the hand cannon next to his hand cannon. That's right. And he puts you down there and he pulls out a fucking dart gun. That's right. Yeah. So hits the fucking guard outside, guide collapses. Gets into that little tiny shack as we see the guy. They should fit in there. The three guys can barely fit. They've got just a table full of jewels and- And a golden Buddha. And a golden Buddha. Like what? What is going on? It was, Andy went to appear one, got some shit and was like, yeah. Just hit up in a state cell and his way out to his random shack in the woods. Well, he had to switch it up because then in one of the other movies he had a Jade Buddha. So. Oh, yeah. There you go. Maybe next movie, there'll be like a diamond to Buddha. There we go. Knocks out the guard, the Fedoralex or Mexican cops and rescues one, the whipping boy. Yup. Before he pets him on the back and he just been whipped. Yeah. Nice little joke there. He slapped him on the back and went. So. Docks get to set them up on the Fedoralex with some water, a little med pack and he sends them out. You guys can walk civilizations about 50 miles west. Wow. I hope fucking doc gets a position in Trump's cabinet because he can handle that border. He can't all by himself. Good call. All right. And like if that's not enough, he's just like he was offended by that shack. First of all, why is it in the middle of nowhere? So he pulls out his M16 with the grenade launcher on it. First he blows up their Jeep. Yes. And then he's like, I got to blow up that shack. Fuck that. This ain't no love check. Boom. Blows it up. All right. We got to go check. This loves to have a lot of characters and he loves. No, he loves to have a lot of characters played by the same people in every movie. So it's hard to keep everything straight because you're like, Oh, is this a returning character? Yeah. No, it's just the same person we've seen in eight other movies playing a completely different character. Yeah. It's it's a mind fuck, but he likes to do the thing where it's like the first, you know, if they're 90 minute movies, it feels like the first hour is like everybody living their separate lives and they all come together at the end. And then finally it's like, thank you, because he switches between the stories so many fucking times. Well, such a hard movie to do back at least headquarters and Willow is giving out her orders. She's like, look, I will take the porn operation. I'll check on shark and scorpion tiger. You need to hook up with your boy Tyler. And you're going to get find doc. Yeah. She hasn't the tiger hasn't been in the field in eight years, and you're thinking, Oh, we're leading into some kind of backstory on tiger. Not that I know she was setting up that security system, their computers. Oh, kind of. Have you have you guys seen orgasmo? No, no, there's this great scene where one of the characters is like, I, I made a vow to my father. I would never do hamster style martial arts again, and it keeps bringing it up. Right. And then you finally get the flashback and it's the dad sitting at the breakfast table with reading a newspaper and the son is eating some cereal and he goes, dad, I don't think I'm going to do hamster style anymore. And the dad goes, that's nice son and ends the flashback. And that's what this felt like tiger was like, I've been in the field in eight years. And you're like, Oh, what happened? Moving on. Okay. That's it. Well, we got to get to Tyler. He's renewing his pilot's license. And so, but before that, tiger has to get ready. So it's just a gratuitous, really don't need this scene at all. It's just, hey, you notice his chick's tits. Well, I'm going to show you those tits scene. Oh, that's what she's trying to put on the dress. Yeah. She gets completely naked and changes right in the boardroom of lethal headquarters. Yeah. And we get that. I thought the sound effect. Pointly thing was kind of unnecessary. Sideros. And then Andy leaned his head in front of the camera and raised his eyebrows and went hubba, hubba. All right. So now Willow is informing Tyler of the situation. I think I fucked up the nigga. Tiger was. Yeah. Well, before that, we see Tyler, who I think just learned English are not to speak like a week before this movie. Yeah. He is the epitome of a himbo he is. And he like, so they're just having him, he's absolutely not flying it. He's just driving it into the hangar. And there's a colonel waiting for him for some reason, just so he can say, thank you for your service. You got some real shit in desert storm that like two day war we had in like 1991. That's right. He's like, thank you for your service, sir. He's not operating like a fucking military plane at all, but he's got the military jumpsuit on. He's got to, he's got to have the big aviators on because Andy's like, he's got to be a guy. He's got to look like a God damn top going. Well, he kind of had a Tom Cruise look to well, short, dark and handsome. Right. Yeah. Great tan. Great tan. That's almost as good as mine. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Come on. Come on. I put the brown, the paper bag up to the TV screen and said, good. So I'm reading the wrong name again. Tiger. I'm so sorry. It informs Tyler the situation and she's like, we got to find Doc and bring him out of the cold. Bring him out of the cold. That's real spy talk. I'm sorry. That was a purposeful pause because Tyler is remembering his lines just like I am. I love when you talk like a spy. Cut to Manuel. No strangers. Sedares. He was in Picasso. Trigger. I remember that. See, Rodrigo Olbergine is in so many damn, he even played a Russian in one of them. He's a, he's a chameleon. The guy is in almost every Sedares movie, still has a Spanish accent, but hey, it's okay. He's still playing. I love it. Hey, man. Come on. Sometimes people who's, you know, native Spanish speakers end up in Russia. Listen, his, to be fair, his Russian accent wasn't the worst. It didn't come out like a Chicago accent. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I see what you're doing there. He is that. Everybody was, what was, was that Shaq just a torture Shaq, like some random hillbilly torture, torture Shaq? I think it was. Because there's another place where they put the smuggle goods at this cabin that he has. Yeah. And he's with his girlfriend slash body guard, Kim played by American gladiators zap. Hell yeah. So she's. Did you fix this or did, uh, did auto correct fix, uh, cause Kim and IMDB was spelled with a wife. Yes. And yeah, because that's how, that's how a fucking sit, there's roles. So I think that was, uh, auto correct. He started the trend of, uh, misspelling names to, you know, throw fucking white people off. Yeah. The, uh, tragedies with like five wives. Yeah. Yeah. So not only does he traffic in jewels and gold Buddas, he also does fine art. Of course he does. So he's got dogs playing fucking poker. Oh my god. Yeah. He's got one of those ones where you have to stare at it to see what the images are. It's the nineties. Remember? Yeah. You guys, you guys, I never were, I mean, I, it was hard for me to, I know I was never able to do all that guy. I was like, I don't see. I was never able to do it. I used to do it really well. And the last few I couldn't do. I've lost the art of it. I think you have to be 15. Probably. I think you have to be 15. And so he's got all this beautiful, fine art and doc pulls up still undercover. He's got one. That's right. We learned that one is Manuel's narrative. Well, nephew is always fucking up so much. So he pulls a gun on his nephew and he's taught him like, you got to shape up or ship off. And Kim says, ship off, I'll ship him off. Takes the gun and shoots one in the heart, right in the heart people. And no, if a bullet passed through your heart, you don't, you don't know. Even if it goes all the way through. Even if it goes all the way through. You die even more, actually. One died, right? One died. Okay. And he pulls a gun on doc and we're like, oh my God, he knows he's already figured it out. That was fast. Yeah. I thought we were breaking the Sudair's tradition. I was like, oh shit, like Sudair's is really putting his pedal to the metal here. Of course I trust you, doc. You got such a handsome face and I bet you got a real dick in those pants hiding behind that hand cannon. What do you got behind that cannon? All out. Yeah. The only time I had to actually go out in the field when it wasn't dropping off the spy car or something like that. You see that spy. I know that. So says a guy was too injured to work, but we found out he was still playing soccer every week. What do you do? Do you read a book? I'm talking about what you're doing when you're staking out. How do you stay like engaged? It's so boring. First came, which is what we just watched. If you're in like the car and stuff, you just got to be vigilant because you never know when they're going to go active. So what were you doing? Just literally staring at that guy's house for like, no, no, no, no, I went to his soccer game. Oh, good. And I watched. That was good. He was a soccer fan. Yeah. And we and we used and we used the purse can and it was funny because the guy sorry to make this episode longer. No, you're good. Our operation manager was like, you're a soccer guy. You'd be the best person for this one to sit on a bleacher. Yeah. Well, you know how to film it. I'm like, we're not making like a sizzle reel. Yeah, right. We just want to make sure that this is the see this guy in action. Right. Little fucking psycho kick. Look at him fucking side. Right. Take that pass off his chest. And I'm like, back home anyway. So they he puts to the gigantic tracker, which we didn't regard. Where do you put them? Where do you put them? Oh, yeah. What was I don't know if we can give out trade. Oh, yeah. That's right. He wants to get off. Okay. Anyways, we're cutting over this serious warrior. We got to finally meet this warrior character. We pick this move. Well, I think it was just next, but yeah, I mean, this is part of the excitement about it. What's the fucking bag? Well, buff bag. Well, first of all, his name is not Jeff. I thought that was what it is. It's Marcus. Marcus Bagwell. Why? Why was Jeff? In my head. I don't know. You know what? Jeff Bagwell. I think I do. Marcus Buff Bagwell star. Oh, I think it was the last season's dark side of the ring where he we learned he shot his father multiple times because he was going to shoot his mother. Yeah. His father, when he was a teenager, would come in and go, "Here's some cocaine. I don't want you using that street shit." So he give his friend, him and his friends cocaine as they went around the party. As a grown-ass man, he had his mom shaving his balls for him. Yes, he did. A friend walked in. I'm him bent over in the doggy position, getting his balls shaved. Yeah. By his mother. Yeah. Nothing weird about that. Yeah. Wild, dude. Check out that dark side of the ring. Son, I'm willing to shave your balls, but you got to hold the chef. The chef kept up for me. I'm not touching that. Right. Jesus Christ. And he also had calf implants. Yes. That was not a joke we made. Yes, that is. Because it's hard to get your calves. We learned it from Joe. Joe Coleman has always told us that God gave you them calves and they're never changing. Like, you get what you do. You want big calves? You got to be a swimmer. Swimmer calves are massive. All right. There you go. You heard it here. Joe Coleman, you might need to take up Olympic swimmer. Go to the YMCA. Yeah. So he is in full. Do we know if you have any real Native American, can you be culture appropriate? Well, you saw the dark side of the ring, did his mom look native in the flashbacks? I went native. As much as I enjoy Andy Sedaris, I think this was some cultural appropriation here. It was offensive. He had war paint on. Yeah. Full to Tonka Regalia. You probably borrowed the fucking whole like thing from Tonka. Yeah. Oh my God. This motherfucker saw some episodes of Renegade and was like, "Who is this Branscomb Richmond? I need him." Does Branscomb ever show up in Sydney? You think he would be a perfect fit for it? We did get Aleong in the call. Not that I see. Yeah. We did get Aleong in the couple. But I didn't see Branscomb. Yeah. Branscomb should have been in this. He probably was a Native American jewelry consultant. Did we check the... I did not check the credits. I did not have enough time. He's like, "You don't have enough turquoise." Yeah. Oh. Oh, man. He's got... Yeah. He's got some sweet-ass Native American official frosted tips. That's right. It was the 90s, remember? Malcolm of the Middle, the brother of the other frosted tips. He's got like a leather beaded choker, you know, like the four levels of it. He's got not one, but both ears hooped. That's right. He's got like a big leather necklace strap bolo kind of looking thing where it hung like between his pecs. He had a loincloth. Say what you will, completely accurate to the way Native Americans dressed. Well, I bring up to Tonka because it is like identical to what Tonka would do. Yeah, but the Tonka actually is Native American. Yeah. He's in? So he's allowed to do that. He's in a wrestling ring waiting to be brought somebody that needs to be punished. It's a greasy looking motherfucking jobber, you know. It's what you expect out of this. He's got the frayed out hair and everything. He shows up. And one of his good... Was he working for lethal to? Was he in one of them? So like Andy Sedaris is letting us know that they know some undercover agent? I thought it wasn't clear to me. I thought he was just like one of the bad guys like who was our guy from LA Boney Randy or something? He was kind of like the bad guy who read it on the bad guy's situation is what I took from it. You know what cracked me up about this though is that Marcus Buff Bagwell buffed the stuff and played his full character name was the Supreme Warrior. Oh wow. And they mentioned it a couple times. And I just cracked up because I started thinking Andy Sedaris writes the script and he's pitching it to Buff Bagwell. Again, you play a character called the ultimate warrior and he's like, well, there's already an ultimate warrior. What? No. And like I just cracked up at the thought of Andy Sedaris just having no clue there was an ultimate warrior. Me? I don't know. I think Buff was like at a jealous career jealousy. He was like, he was I just the warrior because the movie's called Day of the Warrior. Yeah. That damn supreme warrior. So he was just like, I'm going to be the supreme warrior. What better? Because it's supreme better than ultimate. I don't know. I think they're kind of the same. Aren't they synonyms for each other? I think so. I think so. At this point did the warrior officially change his name to warrior? At this point, he was a warrior because he would have been in WCW. Really? 93? This is 96 bud. This is 96. Yeah. I just said tiger was missing 94. Oh my God. So he, if you didn't know this people, you're not wrestling fans, the Jim Hellwig, the ultimate warrior, legally changed his name to warrior. Was it warrior Hellwig? Was it warrior warrior? Warrior? It was just warrior. He went on one. Would you gotta have legally have a first and last name? Can you just go by one name? I've always heard it was just warrior so you can keep the trademark. Interesting. Because his wife is Dana warrior. Yep. So maybe he's warrior W warrior. I like this a lot. Maybe he's Jim warrior. I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. Like Mario, Mario. But he's like, bring me this Cretan. The guy's surly. He's ready to fucking fight. He actually sucker punches the warrior. That's right. He does. Of course, you know, warrior. And he says, I will beat you with one hand tied behind my back. And he does not. No. He uses both hands. He he's sucker punches the shit out of him. But I like this about Sederis. That is an ongoing thing throughout this movie. He constantly like all of his characters, even his good guys love to use fucking sleight of hand to sucker punch people. Because we see it later in the movie too. Yep. From a hero. And he uses both hands. I want to point out both hands to pile drive this goon. And as we learned, we almost lost don't close the boss into this move. Yep. Was it a sit down or was it a knee down? It was sit down. Sit down. Traditional pile driver. Traditionally. Paul Werndorf went. Chef's kiss. Snap to guys neck. Delicious. Bring me more. Sorry. No. He did say delicious. Yeah. And thankfully, this is 1996. We sold it. He didn't pop up. All I AW as their pile driver. They didn't give each other. He would have a neck raise for six weeks at least minimum in '96. Yeah. Sure. I know you're listening, Tony. Alright. Make those fuckers sell. Here's my favorite part about warrior though. Because now he's heading to his, it's '96, it's the year of AOL. So he's like, I got to go check on my chat boards. He's got the, this is the only room I really see. Sedaris usually has good settings and everything background aside from his little sheds that he's got everywhere. Right. When he's not building them, they're pretty good. Yeah. And so he's got this sad little fucking computer room set up for warrior. Warrior is so basic outside of his wrestling ring. When you're not looking at that wrestling ring, everything is just bathed. Yeah. He's, he's kind of cutting it, man. He can't let people know he's really the supreme warrior. That's it. Well, he had the crazy shirt on in the civilian garb. Very '90s shirt. Oh, you're right. Right. Button right up. You were, you enjoyed that, right? Yeah. Sure. If the top button wasn't meant to be buttoned, there would not be a button there. Assholes. Well, you know, sometimes they put two buttons because once this is an extra button, because you lose your button, should you cut a hole and button double button? That's true. No, that's just a poorly placed spare button. That should be like on the tag inside of the shirt with the care instructions. Very color me bad vibe. I was getting off that outfit though. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And that fucking little goatee heads. Sculpted. So 1996. Sculpted with an inch of his life. Oh, you know. This movie was so like peak '90s. Yeah, I was having some PTSD with these fashers. I'm sure you were. I'm sure you were. Especially when we get the fucking Chaz. Yeah, when we get introduced to Chaz, formerly known as Platterpuss and Dallas Connection, I was like, "Holy fuck, you cannot tell me this was not a '90s movie." You were explaining the computer layout. So we walk in and it's the most boring, rich person. I have no taste in anything, bland, just table, computer, giant monitor. He sits down with a table and starts daring his makeup off. He's got to get all that war paint off of him. He put it on to fucking just completely job out a guy. Yeah. And then we go into his computer room to talk to his buddies on AOL. It's in this warrior and there's place that he's supposed to do. Keep the paint on and thrash his computer room because he doesn't need that warrior energy. Put on the little reading glasses with a chain on it. Of course he did, because it's hard to read those monitors. Here's my only thing. Sedaris, we know he likes to fit a lady in there. Why wasn't there a lady for him to dab him, to clean him off? There should have been a know nothing lady in here to take care of this. Remember man, this is Latter-day. He's phoning it in, I get it, I get it. But he needed someone like us on site to help him like Andy, come on man. You're the genius. But... So why don't we do an indie go-go to make a movie in the spirit of Andy Sedaris and have Joe be the male lead? Well, it's tough. Bring back the ably name. Playboy magazine doesn't exist anymore. So where are we going to get these playmates? Are we going to have to go to OnlyFans? Oh my god, we're going to win this situation. We're going to miss OnlyFans August 24. Yeah, so I mean, it's complicated. Yeah, it would be complicated, but I'm already seeing this. I already know our two leads. We're bringing back the Abilene's, Joe Abilene, Malibu Mike Malibu. Oh no, I'm more suited to be like the platypus type character. Oh no, you guys are going to be doing a Danny DeVito Arnold Schwarzenegger twins thing. Everyone will just be complimenting my physique. Like, dude, you got jacked. Dude, what's going on? Hey, Joe. I like this. That's a Sedaris joke for you. And then he'll just be like, man, I wish I could get your fucking delts or something like that. All the ladies are attracted to you. And Joe's just like, what the fuck is going on? Look at those traps on him. Fuck. This is a fucking Sedaris show. Well, there's a coded message waiting for him. Since Chris can't read, I'm going to have you read this coded message. Uh, heaven, hd blast, h equals hard, d equals drive. You gotta do the whole weather report line above it. Oh, uh, warheads people can't read warheads for his office. War, warrior, God damn great for you. Warrior heads for his office where a message waits weather report from Malibu climate looking great, two surf nerds downloading soon into your mainframe, heaven, hd blast, h equals hard, d equals drive. Thank you. So we learned that his hacker is one, Mr. hard drive. Yeah. And he is talking to one of his goons, warrior. Yeah. And he's like, two of the hottest hackers in Malibu with nope, they're clean and no record out. Five years ago, they didn't exist. They're going to be working with us. We're taking some outside recommendation and soon warrior will know and you, you were kind of alluding to this earlier, who infiltrated his organization. Right. So now we cut to Malibu, which by the way, I do a fix because you spelled it wrong. You said be O you for some reason. Okay. Malibu. Malibu. Some people live in Malibu. And these are these hackers, JP and Chaz. You want to go on and give a rundown Griff on JP and Chaz. Their look. Oh my God. So I think it opens up with Chaz roller skating and aggressively roller skating in his jinko jeans. Oh, blading. Sorry. Blading. Yeah, blading. 90s after guys roller blade girls roller skate, you will learn that from the Charlie's Angels. That's right. And so he is aggressively. Thank you. Was he on Venice Beach? Did he pass by flippers? Well, he's in Malibu. Oh, is that? Is that near Venice Beach? Yes. They're adjacent Venice Beach. You take to Malibu. Okay. Um, so he's aggressively skating. He's got the shaved head like just a little bit of short here. It's short. It's very short. Yeah. And then he's got those awful wraparound shades that people were wearing in the 96 think Smash mouth guy. Didn't you have a goatee without a mustache? You did. Yeah. Just the bottom chin. Yeah. Oh, man. Chinko jeans. Basically those things are baggy as hell. Yes. They were. And then he had big knee pads on underneath them because that was cool. Gave him a little bit of fun. Give him underneath them. They were right front and center. We saw them. Yeah. Yeah. He gave a little contrast. And he's just blading hard. He's alluding people. He's swerving. Um, he's. Ooh, babe. And he's just aggressively coming at the camera. And then I think we just like kind of cut over to fucking see JP doop, doop, doop, doop. He's got a little car with a surfboard on the top. Yep. He's got like low rider or something just grooving while he drives around and the babes are passing by. He's got that. He's got above the law pre hair plugs, uh, Steven Seagal hair balding in the front. Party in the back. Yeah. Ponytail. Not you can't even call it a scorpion. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I remember kind of having a Garth Brooks ass shirt, esque shirt on. Yes. He's trying to. He's trying to be like cool businessman. So he's got his cool little convertible weird fucking tiny car, but he's got the surfboard on it too. He works hard in the office during the day, but he likes to party hard at night. That's right. He picks up Chaz and Chaz goes, you get that thing meaning the surfboard wets yet. Just a chick magnet. I get the ladies wet with this. That's right. That's an instant dropper right there. So they head back to their HQ and they're these guys are serious yet now they're both like dressed up. Chaz has taken off his roller skating gear and he's got like some nice clothes on. I think he put on a fucking suit to sit in. Yeah. Well, he said they were getting ready to take off and he was like, yeah, I got to go shower first though. And he's like, I'll check the stocks. Yeah. So it was a plan thing. Yeah. Yeah. And we joined them in probably a corner of Sedaris house where he's got his computer set up empty, bland as fuck looking, you know, situation we had going on here too. And we're just going to sit here and they're actually going to read down the whole fucking stock listing like this was Sedaris at his most David Lynch. Just a person sweeping for 15 minutes. Hey, bro. Furby's are up five point five points. Did you buy those Furby's I only got one you're supposed to buy 5000. But GM. Nice shout out to Detroit here is down four point five points. What four point five we're the we're we were Harvard trained. He went to Harvard and what was their joke? He said we're Harvard graduates and then JP looks at me like, well, give or take one or two classes. Yeah. Yeah. The only way we know how to make killing is by killing. I think they pull out guns. I think they pull out like an Uzi and cocked it for that moment. So they go outside pool side and get some more fake tits waiting for us. These were some of the better fake tits though. If I remember correctly, they weren't egregious. Oh, God. And Chad's like, Hey, bro. What's their GPA? Because he's like, these are some these are fucking they got the NBA's to graduate from Harvard business. Definitely. Quality. Here in class with George W. Bush, JP's explaining all this. And so finally the girl overhears it. And so Chaz makes his move and so Dairus decided to do this shot. I noticed it when I watched it the second time where he did like a hand cam zoom in like walked at Chaz with the camera and Chaz is doing this to be like, I'm checking out the girl. And I was like, Sederis, this is the worst fucking shot you've ever done because I never want to look Chaz that close into his eyeballs. And so the woman says, yeah, what's their GPA? What's her GPA? She opens her top, takes that city down 38 24 34 because she has some glasses 34. And there you go, pulls the shades down to down his nose. And they go, Hey, bro, we got your business to do. Let's head out to Dallas. Yeah. Well, that's what they're going to be getting up to. They got a last night here in Malibu to hang out because they're going to head out to dinner with their tasty treats. These two ladies, we eat, we drink, then we play Twister. We hate ourselves in the morning. I hope so. That was the lady who said that cut to Cobra. We haven't seen Cobra yet. We saw her in the beginning in a inner, uh, dressing. Now we're watching her dress, right? She's already got her tits out. She's like spraying perfume on him because you need those tits to smell. Yeah, she sprays a little bit right on the top and then starts aggressively rubbing her boobs together. And I'm like, what's that doing? And that's called Sedera's going to have, we need a reason for you to play with your tits. Yeah. Not low. Not something like that. Speaking of bad 90s stuff, she's got those skinny 90s eyebrows that were bugging shit out of me. Oh, yeah. She's rocking her themes on cobra cobra cobra cobra and as we're just padding, we're padding this fucking move. There's a lot of padding in this thing. I'm not talking about the fake tits either. Yeah. There's some padding instead of fucking playing these tits with such hard fucking whatever. She gets into her car. She heads out to Beverly Hills. That is swimming pools poofies that are black gold Texas tea. What are we doing? Beverly Hillbillies. Oh, okay. And so we get, she's on rodeo drive. I remember when I was in LA and we took that fucking trip, they gave houses of the stars. We stopped at Rodeo. I felt so out of place. I was like, oh my God. They all drive. Is Andy Sudair is going to walk by? I got a script hot off my lap for him. And she heads out to a K's jeweler. That's right. Every kiss begins with K. And this is where I went. Did you pick up on this, Mike? Kevin Eastman co-creator of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles because at the time he was married to Julie strain. That's why. Oh, okay. No, no, no, no, I did not pick up on it. I just saw his name was in it. I had no idea what Kevin Eastman looked like. Yeah. This is Kevin Eastman playing the role of Harry, the jeweler. Okay. The insanity that he made violent because the originals was black and white and violent, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah. That ended up being the like core of the, you know, late 80s childhood. Yeah. Yeah. The cartoon. The cartoon was my favorite thing, dude. I had so many of the toys. I watched the cartoon, went back to trying to watch it in the early aughts. As a young adult, it's fucking unwatchable. Unwatchable. Unwatchable. Yeah. You can't go home again. Yeah. It's just, and then to find out, he's doing, said, dearest movies, probably like five years after he made his money and like sold off all the rights. He got his trophy wife, Julie strain. And that's also why he, at the time he also owned Heavy Metal magazine. He bought it. Oh. And he's, he's the star of Heavy Metal 2000, the sequel to the Heavy Metal. Oh. They should, they, I don't know. So he was doing whatever he could to keep this babe in his, yeah. So he, he's the jeweler, Harry, he takes her to the back room and he has 12 uncut South African diamonds to be delivered to a warrior. And he demands, he demands, she signed the receipt. That's all right. She does it. Good job of explaining everything to her. He's doing his mean gene, like, let me tell you everything about the, you'll notice that I'm closing the box. You'll notice that I'm seeing the box. You'll notice that this is a handwritten receipt. And he was very by the book. I liked it. I, I like to do, we're, we're used to our sideris movies, you know, really trying to get you in the world, but here's a key to a PO box. You will place it in this PO box. You will destroy the key and then warrior will have his diamonds. She's like, all right, I got all that. She leaves. Soon as she leaves, I, for a second, I thought it was Chaz, dude. There's so many dirt behind these guys with fucking goat's ease in this movie. Right. He's wearing the like yellow Walter sub check from the big Lebowski sunglasses. Yes, he was. And then he had a giant dangly like cross earring. Yep. And he shoots, Harry, aka Kevin Eastman. And it takes off with a suitcase full of mine. I guess this is a trade off. She was giving him money for these diamonds. So here's what I appreciate about our sideris though. He's like, you look way too much like Chaz. So when we see this guy pop up later in the movie, he's got those yellow Walter soul check shades on just to let the audience know, because again, he's like, half my audience is jerking off at this point, you know, and well, some of them are. That's what, you know what? That's why, because this is pre-internet people. I think Sideris, why he continued, even though he was, he said, I said all I need to say, he continued, because he knew there were so many 13 year old boys out there, they had no access to pornography that needed these movies in their life. They didn't live near any woods to find woods. Oh, yeah. Not at all. Oh, yeah. All they had was HBO hoping mom's asleep scramble porn, so they could watch, well, not even scramble porn. This is just, this is, you didn't need scramble porn. You had Sideris. Yeah, exactly. Well, I'm saying these are the hard for HBO movies. Yeah. It's probably show time, and actually this one premiered on Cinemax. Oh, of course. Cinemax. Yeah. Well, okay. So, thank you for your service, Andy Sideris. Thank you. For those young boys. Even if you're hard to sit in it. By '96, I could buy pornography, so I didn't need Sideris anymore, but I remember. Our ticket. Our ticket. Yeah. Cut two. Where are we going now? We've already been available. We've been to Texas, so we've been to fucking everywhere else. Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills. Century City. We're going to fucking Vegas. Yeah. We'll set you going to Vegas. She's going to Vegas. She's going to Vegas. That's right. Because she's had to check up on the dollar store, Cascorpion and Shark. That's right. And, you know, when you're in Vegas, you got to sit down and enjoy some of those fucking sweet live shows. We get stock footage of all the casinos, probably aren't even there anymore. Probably not. 30 years later. And we see a character from the back. I'm like, this is it. This is a Sideris. This is like Alfred Hitchcock. He always appears in his movies. I'm like, yes, we're getting Sideris. No, we're not getting Sideris. We're getting almost as good as Sideris. We're getting Gerald Nakamura of Samurai cop fame of fire power fame. We cover both those movies. Check them out. Of Dallas connection fame. Rocking out as Elvis Fu. What? Now I got a question. Sorry to interrupt you. No, no, no, no. Boys. Let's talk. Real talk. How much would you pay for a ticket to see a double bill of Elvis Fu opening for Sue Manchu? Sue Manchu Elvis Fu? Do I? I mean, you know what, if you just hit Sue Manchu, I'm going to take my money. But there was one thing I found offensive about this scene. Oh. And they, it's a Dares rubbed it in our faces. Oh. I know what you're talking about. He drives me nuts, dude. He's clearly playing the guitar and he's playing it like a bass. He's like drumming it with his fingers. Yep. That's pretty weird. And there we get a lot of close up shots of it. Yep. And I'm like, what? It took me out. I was just like, no. Well don't worry. If the Elvis Fu, Sue Manchu, double bill, he'll have a live band back him. He won't be playing the guitar. I could do that. That's at least worth a kidney. You can't put a price on extending someone's loan. By the way, I'm glad you brought Sue Manchu. She is doing a month long residency at Paris. I think that's one of the casinos. Oh. Oh yeah. The ones that the Eiffel Tower. Yeah, of course it is. Check her out if you're in Vegas, people. All right. So we're seeing Gerald Fukumaya. Oka-mora. Oka-mora. Oka-mora. To be a Phil. Sorry. I like you, Phil. And it turns out he- She's not even doing an Elvis song, because obviously you can't afford an Elvis song. So they created their own weird fake album song. Elvis Fu-mora. But then he keeps dropping in like Japanese phrases. Like at one point he goes, oh, so- Oh yeah, all right, all right. I liked it. I liked it. But it turns out he's one of her undercover agents. I thought the crowd- Was it the Eiffel and then Delz connection too? I was just gonna ask that. He was one of them. Wait, no, he was a villain in Delz connection. They turned and they flipped him. Was it? Wasn't he a black villain? I think he died in Delz connection. Was he any black willows underling in that one too though? I think so. Yeah. Maybe he doesn't die. I think he was Fu. Yeah. Also, did you notice? I'm sure you did notice. Oh. And this is because probably half the scenes are filmed in Andy Cideris's house. Yeah. That shitty, that's Roy Lichtenstein painting in the background. Yeah, I did. Yeah, that popped up. I remember you used that as our YouTube photo. Exactly. Exactly. I can't believe I let you control my mind or something like that. It is a thought bubble of a guy driving a race car. Yeah. So they go backstage or they're in his room. They're undercover agents. He's one of the cold agents out there. She's got to talk to him. I thought the crowd was going wild for him. It turns out they don't give a fuck about him. Somebody, I thought some underwear was thrown at him. Somebody looks and it's like eyeglass cleaner or something. That's, yeah. They're in his room. He's got the wig and the pork chop side burns on the head if they get. And she's given him the low down butt warrior. This is where we get, you want to read the history of the warrior? All right, so the whole pair of her and they talk to her. Used to be, he used to be CIA operative, lost his job after the end of the Cold War. So many of us do. That's all right. And then he became a pro wrestler, honoring his mother's Indian heritage. He set up a black market with CIA connections and he deals in fine art, diamonds, white slavery and pirating pornography, which cracks me up because that is such a low level crime compared to the rest. White slavery, the worst of all slavery. Right. And when they bring up the pirating pornography, that's when they're kind of like, oh my God. Yeah, this guy's terrible. That's when you get that samurai cop, I'm refrain. As we asians say it, truth is stranger than fiction. Uh, cool it with a rice patty crap, fool. Yeah, of course, rice patties, P-A-D-D-Y, but who spelled it like patty cake? Damn it. We all come to this show to hear Murray just fucking tear my spelling to pieces. Pieces of course spelled P-E-A-C-E-S. He's like the father that like acts like he's never proud of you, but deep down, he's like, I am proud of you, son, because I didn't want you to follow my footsteps. The smile isn't for you. Right. I said it, going close to yours is a family, and I'm a father, who everyone wants to get their validation from, and I'm like, no. No. My cat tried to get the validation last week, and you guys got into a fight over it. Okay, bent the shit out of you. No, that was claws, man. Yeah. Well, he did bite me too, but he broke skin with the claws. He's a, he's a mouthy motherfucker, man, you don't fuck with them. So he is the liaison between lethal and shark, who is? Because the porno people scorpion and shark, they're based in Vegas, because that's where all the good porn happens. Right. They got all the good props. You know, it's nice, really, you know, I have the Valley. So they're shooting in an industrial park, which I'm, that, that makes sense. I'm sure that's really where porno gets shot at. Oh, yeah. And they have, and they made sure to let you know, they have a white, oddy station wagon with Louisiana plates. That's right. You got to remember that. And then we go over to JP and Chaz, they're meeting with the warrior, and they got some great fake names to give the warrior. This is where he had that business shirt on with the top button, he's sweltering in that thing. Was it black with like a gold fancy shit going on? It was, it was this crazy, the 90s, it was so crazy. So he's like, be gone from my site because he's disgusted by these guys. Go to Vegas. Shoot in that porn. And you, Smith, never call me bro. And he said, fill my feet. I want to see how good you are at it. So I did like an hour of this filming, Marcus Bagwell's feet, but don't get my calves in it. Okay. That's my single shame. Has he actually talked about it? Has he shamed about that? We would, if you got implants, you must be ashamed of that. Didn't implants like, didn't they get botched? Yeah. In fact, he had them removed. He had to have a buddy, by the way, people, I'm not kidding. I think it's on YouTube. Watch the dark side of the ring of Buff Bagwell. It's comedy gold. It's insane. He had this hanger on, the same guy who walked in on him, watching his mom, he's like, dude, I could have shaved your balls. He had one of those hanger on dudes that had to carry him piggyback to take his shit because he couldn't walk because his fucking calves were fucked up. So he would have to carry him to the bathroom. Darkie's Bagwell. That's the other ring. Most of those dark side of the rings are good aside for the fucking little, what are they called, the reenactments. Those reenactments. Oh, they're the worst. Cheesiest fuck. So Tyler and Tiger are flying out to southern Texas, near the border, but Tyler is from West Texas where there's no trees apparently. Right. Our Texas people, can you tell us that there's no trees, there's so, there's so little trees. He's like, you know, you remind me of Matt Damon and our team, America. That's kind of like Tyler's acting style, because he's like, in the Texas, there's no trees. Well, he's like, if your dog get lost, you can see him three days away. I love this. Oh, he actually literally said, he was the setup for that joke. Yeah, it was the classic joke setup. Tech, like my part of Texas is so flat. Oh, yeah. How flat is it? Flat as your ass. That's what I thought we were getting at. But Sedera's probably, yeah. Wow. Look at all these trees. He's like an amazement of trees. So they just like land somewhere. They pull, they pull open a map. And somebody apparently doodled on this map a cabin because he goes, there's a cabin on the map. Let's go that way. And they head to the cabin. I'm sorry. Was it that stupid? Or am I? No, it's pretty stupid. Okay. And they find this scene, I heard from a good source, John Dehart filmed this one scene because he's the master of cabin sex in front of a fire. Oh my God. Did you watch it on the laser desk, Griff? Was there a bowl of ice cubes? I did not see it. Murray. I don't know how they got electricity into this fucking cabin and the remote part of the woods. But you could see a fan oscillating with the little tethers, little heart confetti just set up bowl of ice cubes, you know, a little makeshift. I didn't get this, but it's like you got the bowl of ice cubes, you got the cool air coming in with the warm air coming at you. You're in Texas after all. Yeah. So you need a little bit of cool air and they were doing it with the fan in the ice cubes. So you got the ice cubes, you got the fucking stringers and you also got the fire. Every hot, cold, intimacy, prime passion, you had it all. So they're gearing up, getting ready for action. That's right. They got everything laid out in front of the fireplace, all their armaments here. And tight battle air's favorite part. That's his. His foreplay is rolling out, a sleeve of knives and everything. Right. Yeah. And if you really want to impress a fella because tiger pulls out her little hand crossbow and he's like explosive tip. As she goes, everything I touch has a habit of exploding. And that's where we cue John Dehart comes in madingly. We get, he pulls off her shirt, fake tits everywhere, flat ass. And then there was another shot and I'm like, maybe that'd be too harsh on her. Ass looks pretty good. It was Tyler's ass. And I'm like, what the fuck? See guys, you have to come here to find the honesty. When you look at him, just a zoomed in ass, a man like Murray to admit that he was like, that is a good ass right there because I thought the same thing. I was like, Oh shit, she she's got those off the fake tits. She had way too much surgery under her face, but she actually has an ass on her for 96. And then we find out it's Tyler. So hey, I mean that that was the balance there. He's got half a brain. Now we know how he got the job because he can't act for shit. Half a brain. Full ass. Yeah. And they just fuck. It. John was not allowed to take too many liberties clearly with the scene because otherwise it would have been full of fucking passion. Right. Well, we'd be hearing a John to heart original playing over it. We would hear that. There would be some lingerie involved. There would be acoustic guitar, there'd be champagne flutes cheering so much more, so much more intellectual. But Sedaris. Sedaris may have felt threatened. He is working. Remember, this is 96. It's been a hot shot director. Everyone in Hollywood was talking about John to heart. That's true. So, you know, he probably threw him a bone. He thought he was throwing him a bone. I didn't know. Maybe he felt like I'm not up to it. I don't. Because remember, Sedaris is checked out at this point. Yeah. So he's like, I can't, I can't give the people what they need. I heard there's this guy, John to heart. Yeah. I did notice one glaring continuity issue in the, in the version I was watching where the Tyler was actually wearing John to heart shirt from Goteven, the one where he goes to meet the parents and he's got his hands off and he's got that all. The Garth Brooks shirt. The Garth Brooks shirt. Tyler was wearing that for three seconds and one of the shots of him flying the airplane. So I knew right then I was like, John to heart is here. Where is he? He is here. The heart is in the air. Right. The heart is on his sleeve. The heart. Boom. The heart where coming soon, that Garth Brooks shirt. Heart is on the sleeve. All right. Do they fuck? Meanwhile, Manuel is at his smuggler's cabin and he gets a car fax. Yes. He's so rich. He has a fax machine. There's a lot of faxing going on in this movie, by the way. He gets a fax from, from a maniac, a maniac warrior. A maniac. Yeah. I like maniac actually. And he, he, oh, he, no, he gets from hard drive. Yeah. The guy tells him that doc is a, is a double agent and he's like, not doc. He was so cool, man. And this is where they're pulling up to get another fuck. Well, this is like the main cabin they hide out in. And there's, uh, there's an owl, a very life like owl, hooting and it's bothering Kim. Kim is so pissed off. That's when Kim's turn offs. Owl hooting. Owl hooting. And she's, she hates, uh, and then he's like, he's like, Oh my God, in that dark, I love a doc. And she's like, I knew that motherfucker. Manuel's turn like chef boy already all of a sudden, I love a doc, and he's, and he's like, get that unloaded up. I have some business to attend to. And then Kim, how ruthless she is, she just killed his nephew in the last thing. That's right. Boom blows up fucking the alhootie, the owl. A little bit of shotgun and owl explodes. That was an endangered owl. He was more, he was more hurt over the owl getting shot than he was. Give a hoot. Don't pollute. Yeah. And she's like, fuck that owl, she's not in danger anymore and gets in the car. Yeah. God damn sinners. All right. Now we're at, we're at a super eight hotel motel, where shark and scorpion are camped out. I did these dance moves for the boys here a little earlier. Shark is got the greatest little fucking sharpie on shark. It's like a cartoon. He's wearing a vest. He's got a vest in this movie, which is very 90s as well. Yeah. No shirt. Just the leather vest renegade style with baggy mom jeans, cinch with the belt. And he's just like doing this little jive. He's working his hips, scorpion, the bad scorpion, laying in the background, just going along with things. Not really. They kind of like had, I don't know, their vibe was weird together. They're waiting for their next porno assignment. And they get it. JP calls up and he's like, Hey, meet me at this industrial park. And she's like, all right, I'll be there. So both of them end up being like, yeah, we got them right where we want them. Both JP and both scorpion, yeah, they don't know both sides. And then scorpion is like, I'm going to shake my booty for you girl. And then she blows it's a blow up. That's another callback. He loves his blow up. He loves his. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if that was the same one. Has anyone ever in the history of mankind really fucked a blow up though? There's nothing sexually appealing. There has to be dudes that have done it. Well, there definitely is. Yeah. Because how do those keep getting made right? Somebody eats the candy corn. Everybody fucks a blow up. Oh, somebody's thinking you're right. Thank you. Which why by the way, false coming everybody, make sure not to eat that nasty candy corn. It's the same candy corn for the last 20 years. It just gets recycled. Okay. So they're set up. He gets the blow up. I'll thrown at him. She goes, shock. Why did you warm up on this? Quick cut back to a dock where we've seen one get buried in a shallow grave out in the middle of the woods. Goon just goes, pulls out a shotgun, I'm going to give him a one gun slew and this shoots the dead body. All right. And now we're going over to Willow and she needs to call up the director of lethal, I believe. Yes. The director of operations for lethal Jordan, an Australian man, right? Yes. I got my accents right there. Yeah. But it was like the actor could not have been actually Australian because that was such a weak Australian accent. I thought so. Right. He's just another him. Oh, I mean, when I saw, I was like, this guy's going to get fucked, right? Because he's too handsome. He had some over style there. That was more. I was going to ask you, was this over style hair was? But before she, she's like, she's like, fuck, Willow wanted to be in charge of this operation. She's like, I don't want to go to the higher ups. So she, she stomps out. She's wearing a little nighty foods like on the stairmaster or some shit. Oh my God. And we get this gag where she, he's like, what's going on? Willow gets too close to her. He turns around, her tit hits him in the face, knocks him out. Is this what you call for play? And he's rubbing his head because it hurts. And then she calls up Superintendent Jordan and he's like, look, we need, because much like, because you know why, because she's a woman of action. These guys are all about conferences and meetings. bureaucracy, man. And he's like, yeah, meet me in Dallas in two days. We got a meeting about this league. She's like, I'm on the trail of the league. I don't need to come in. Do you want to lose your job? She's like, what about Cobra? What about Cobra? She could die out there. There's. One about my son. Sorry. Getting best of the best flashbacks. Great episode. Check it out. Cobra is on her own. So Willow, she's like, I got to call her, but warrior. He's on to us. He'll know he has the best, two best hackers in the world. Dude, this is one of the worst acted scenes in any Sedaris movie. It was so clunky. It was so weird. But he did do another one of the Sedaris shots where he's got the butt in the foreground and you're looking over the butt. Yeah, that's true. So I'll give him that. And Cobra actually looked like she had some kind of curve on that. No, I'm talking about when Fu and Willow are talking about the call. They love to do this. Those two were just fucking so clunky together. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they were, they were, they were like, all their scenes were like that. They were fucking around too much. They were. Because the fight scene later on, it's the same thing. Dude, the fight scene, they're hamming it up a little. They have too much fun. Yeah. Yeah. Alliong would have been a pro about it. Gerald can get goofy. Remember, we saw him in a Speed-O in Samurai Copper, for Christ's sake. Yeah. I like their chemistry, but at the same time, I agree. They got a little, a little way to carry on with them. They're doing a JB in chess, which our heroes aren't supposed to be comic relief. Right. Right. That was one of the most believable, like, I don't know how we feel about Julie Shroud's apparently. Was that her name? Strange. Strange. Strange. I thought for the most part, she showed like some kind of fucking appeal in this movie. Yeah. For the most part, she did. She was definitely, she felt more relaxed in this movie. I think she was a little too, oh, God, I'm going to mess this up and I'm not going to be in movies again in the first couple, she was that. She got a little too relaxed, like Tim was saying, and it was just like, no, have some reason. I know, we know what type of movie that says, but have some respect for it. Because we have like... She's A-W-ing it, dude. She is. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We have a really convenient device. We were like, wait, what do we do about Cobra? Oh, I just so happen to have this one-way communicator right to her. I can contact her right now. So food's got to be the idiot. We'll call it. Well, if I call it right now, the bad guys, a warrior is definitely listening in on this exact line. He will hear it, pick up, know that she's an agent and kill her on the spot. Yeah. Oh. So what are you going to do? I don't know. And then we just cut over to Cobra. We need some more tits than ass to Cobra, and you're right. She had a bit of an... That's why Cobra is my favorite. She had a bit of an ass on her, despite the eyebrows. And we get a scene of her diving in the pool, rubbing oils and ointments on her body. Oils and ointments. Listen, as someone, clearly I have one of the best tans you guys have ever seen. Please, it's true. She's in a paper bag but passed away. Jumps in the water and then starts applying oil. Oil and water do not mix. They don't mix. She did not dry off before she put this on. She is going to get, at best, a very streaky, uneven tan. Maybe that's some kind of trick we don't know about. Mike knows about it, so I'm not even going to fucking... Why am I testing this? Mike knows. Mike knows. I'm staying out, getting that horrible tan. And a pool boy shows off. And she's like, "Hey, where's Davex? This isn't the normal pool boy." Dave's not here, man. I'm so sorry. I've never even seen the movie. Well, we recognize this guy by his... What shape? Yellow shades. Walter Solchak. Murray refuses to watch Big Lebowski people. Sorry. If he hasn't seen it by now, it's probably been way too over-hyped. That's why I can't see it. It's like, don't watch the Goonies for the first time. He's an adult. The magic is in there. I've never seen the Goonies. Yeah, I don't do it. I'm not going to do it. I love the Goonies, but the magic has lost it on you at this point. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Watching the doll is just kid screaming. Ah! So, as he's like doing the pool boy shit, Cobra gets that message. And we see, pool boy grabbing has gone out. He's freaking out. Cobra immediately knows what it means, so she rolls off her Anurondak chair onto the fucking ground, grabs into her purse, and gets out of pistol and shoots first. One. Cobra shot first. He gets shot, falls into the pool. You got to fall into the pool. You got to fall into it. Yep. And she's like, I hate to be Dave. Well, he's got to pay. And by the way, when he gets shot, Squib goes off in the pool. Like, how many of us who's using the pool, like, don't you get that fake blood in my fucking pool, Andy? Yeah. He's like, all right, I won't because there's no blood. She's making even the crack about him making a mess in the pool, and it's just the fucking... Yeah. It's the fucking... It's the fucking... Baby Ruth Bar from Candy Shack, the turd floating. Yeah. This guy. And then as she drives off, she sees poor Dave, the pool boy with a fucking bullet hole in his head. Just dead. Yep. All right. We're going back over to the cabin. Doc is being confronted by Manuel. Thankfully, Tiger arrives just in time because, you know, Doc is getting into some serious trouble. Right. Because he's about to be killed by Manuel. Yeah. Bro, we just get to shoot out. That's all nothing. I mean, it's... It's... Sidair is a tit guy. He's not an action guy. It's just a bunch of shots being a change. We see this in every Sidairist movie. Usually, there's a gag in here about, like, you know, a gun or something. Tyler and Tiger are pinned down, and Tiger pulls out that little crossbow. How about you use this big boy? Because Tyler is constantly noticing everybody else's gun. Right. Yes. That guy's got a bigger gun than me. And so, what's your Tiger? Tiger hands them in the small, tiny, little crossbow. It's not the size. It's how you explode. That's right. And he does a fucking money shot all over this guy. This guy blows up. Mix it right. So it's just a shootout. That's all. Nothing on a big deal. Willow and Fu, they're out searching in that industrial park looking for the porno place. Oh, yeah, they're looking for that industrial porno shot. They're looking for that white, oddy station wagon with Louisiana plates. By the way, this movie was filmed in Louisiana, which is why the magic was lost. Molokai is where the magic happened. No shit. Damn right. It was actually shot in Louisiana, huh? Yeah. That's why we had that shitty fucking casino at the end. They probably were like, they probably got the film there if they, like, showed the casino name. There were some of the, like, highway shots that I was like, that's not, that's not any of the places they say it was. So that makes sense. So while they're looking, shark and dollar store scorp arrive and meet up with JP and Jess. Fucking JP and Jess. Cut back to cobra. She's naked. She's putting on her stockings. And then she's wearing leather pants without those stockings on. Yeah. Good call. I didn't even think about that, but yeah, she's getting all dialed up for a run away. All her scenes were just padding because she's just going to the airport heading to Dallas for that big meeting in two days. But Sedaris is trying to do this thing. Maybe he's done it in other movies, but we're always seeing people undress. So he wants to start with nudity and dress it up. Right. Yep. So, you know, he's trying to. He's just finding out ways to get women naked, like logically, he's like, well, she's got to get dressed. All right. So she starts naked. Then she gets dressed. Yeah. Makes sense. I'm going to go to Dallas to your park. That shoot is on and go, oh my God, Chas and JP are naturals. They know how to shoot a porn, right? They know how to do the sound. The whole movie is going to be leaking soon. I did not know this. I did not know that they did they film porno and they would have the sound guy actually do the sound. Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, they're doing creative shots, man. JP is like on the ground shooting up to the crotch. We're going handheld shooting right down the length of the penis. It's like the amazing shot. Yeah, they did like in the first Star Wars when they did that opening shot of the Star Destroyer. They did the same thing with shots, penis. Yep. Right. Because that's the thing. When you haven't gone to school, you don't know the rules and something that's the best thing because you just do your creation, right? Natural. Right. It's natural to you. It feels right. Right. God damn it. I will say this this scene really did crack me the fuck up all the way up until JP started making the noises into the mic and then I was like, okay, what's happening now? But him is holding a mic like he's got the fucking boom mic or whatever on the stick, but he's just holding it out there like I thought that was hilarious. I was I was loving that. So they finish up the shoot. Perfect guys, but we're going to need you tomorrow for some additional shots. They're like fine. So they take off and we always say that scorpions purse much like a mic had his purse cam for the soccer match. She had her porno purse cam and she got she got the code to get into the porno place because this is apparently this was locked up, right? And of course the code was zero zero zero zero zero. No, it was it was eight zero zero eight. Of course it was. You sure it wasn't eight zero zero eight five. Yes, it was. No, it was eight zero zero eight one three five one three five. Oh, boom, oh Jesus Christ. Sedaris couldn't remember what would that be? Like a seven digit pen. He could have rubber that money. So jazz and JP, do they catch them or something? So it seems like they fuck off to wherever they're staying and we see shark and scorpion head back to break in there. Anyone like there's one room with one door behind like the little like a fold up closet, like Asian thing. Yeah, like hiding the door. I forget what those are called, but this it's very clearly a back room again set dressing for this movie is the weakest I've seen in a Sedaris movie. And so it's very plain boring, boring, big one room and scorpion gets delivered to the line. They they went into this one room. There's only one room, honey. Okay. So I guess all the devious shit's happening in the one room that we can't see. So they just it's just unlocked, even though this is a word of the story, like every secret. Well, they had the boobies fucking they get to go down the outside. You don't need a lot. So they walk in there and they're recording this whole room. It's just wall to wall tapes. Yeah, they're like they're copying every movie known to like every type of movie. Yeah. So apparently it's not just porno or it's every type of porno. It's I thought it was supposed to be every type of porno. I thought it was every movie in existence. Every movie? E.T. Yeah. Even E.T. Spielberg's get it come down and I'm hard, but it's not a laser test. So I'm not interested. It's a good point, it's not VHS. And she's like, I'll make sure to take this one because it was the one they just filmed. That's right. And as they attempt to leave, JP and Chaz are waiting. Yeah, they're driving out and apparently they were just hanging out back. Actually, they were onto them. Even though their plan was to meet with them later and kill them, they were just waiting around the block. No, they were like, I think they were setting up by Skorp and they knew they were going to come back. Oh. So they were like, we'll see you tomorrow. Oh. And then they waited and they probably watched them, you know, because this was a whole we know, you know, we know. Right. Oh, okay. Okay. That makes sense. Now they know that we know that they know that we know. Now, Mike, what, why the fuck in this shootout are the bad guys, the goofy bad guys, such a good shot. Right. Our heroes can never hit the broad side of a barn because you guys got to raise the stakes because the guys can't just gun them down because I think I think shark and tiger shark and scorpion dollar store scorpion were out of screen time. They had to leave. So they had to write them off somehow that okay, that's scorpion gets shot in the chest. Thankfully, she had those bad fake tits and they didn't go all the way through the implant. So she's going to be all right guys, but she gets shot in the fake tit. That's right. And this is where we get the closing moments where JP yells out to Chaz, all right, great fucking shot. No. Go finish them off. You go finish them off. And we've been waiting for Willow and food arrived. Hey, you guys, little Goonies call back for Mike. It's food and Willow and they chase the goons off. Don't hit them though. They don't. Nope. Chaz screams comically and then jumps in the car and takes off and she get away. Willow's like, I got to call this into Jordan as she's doing that. Jordan's hello love, careful little vegem in a bit of money and I don't know. Crikey. You have a fuck to call all the love. They're full of chlamydia. They should actually they are. Fun fact. They are. What are we doing? They are nasty. They're nasty little fucks. They're nasty little fucks. They're nasty. They'll raw dog it. I don't know that kids today are saying raw dogging the wrong way now. What are they saying? Raw dogging to a kid is going. This is the thing the trend they're doing. The flight. They go on a flight and they don't use any kind of like a tablet or phone. They're doing what we had to do back in the day before phones. We had to really just sit in a fucking stare at the fucking seat in front of you. Yeah. Look, I'm raw dog. For eight hours, bro. It is not. They're not replacing it. They're using that as a very, you know, visceral term still, but they just find it yeah. It's stupid. Come up with a new fucking right. You already. There you are. It's all hot dogs. Glizzy. How is it a correlation? What's the correlation? Raw doggings fucking somebody without a rubber. And this is a sitting in a chair because this is just willfully being bored for eight hours. Yeah. Yeah. But that's the thing. Yeah. I am bored if I'm raw dog. I know. No. I hope I hope we're not bored if we're raw dogging. Yeah. It's ironic. I don't know. I think it's it's supposed to be the inverse. Somebody said it and you know, anyway, Jordan, I think it's funny and 824 apparently is making a raw dog and movie. Okay. Fucking a 24. Hey, man. Why don't you reach in the fridge and grab the one of Jordan Jordan gets the call from Willow and we see a guy for the we saw a guy in the background in Jordan's first scene. His name is Dietrich. Yes. And he looks a little. He's looking a little suspicious left back left and he's going. This is very interesting. Mike trying to get a beer for beer for a breath. Hawaiian roll. Hawaiian roll. No. I got Hawaiian roll. So we stopped talking about the fucking beer here and people come here to hear what's in my fridge. We got the fried rice. We got the sauce. It's just alcohol. Do you reheat that fried rice properly? I don't want you getting. How do I reheat it? My dysentery. What's the. I don't know. I don't reheat rice. What? Wow. Lot. Do you? No, I don't. I don't make rice because I don't want to reheat it wrong and then I'm getting dysentery like Oregon Trail. Oh shit. This is Oregon Trail knowledge. No it's not Oregon Trail didn't at microwaves microwave zap out all of the bacteria. I don't know like there's a proper way to get microwave rice and enjoy it. I'm telling you. Can you? Yeah. Is it a thing? Okay, the only danger of rice is if you eat it too fast like I do and you get it stuck in your throat because I haven't happened multiple times. Anyway, D trick is looks kind of suspicious as he's get as will always giving him the low down. What's happened? This is suspicious in this sea of attracted gentlemen in Tyler kind of attractive women and whatever the fuck tiger is. There is D trick just an ugly white haired goon standing in the background constantly leering. Of course he's the villain. They see like see it will see you in one day in Dallas. All right. We see Willow checks out the porno place she is a broom closet with a real penogra furs are tied up. That's right. They're pissed off. They were only given ketchup burgers. I saw this and yes it took us right back to what was that Arabella where our fucking detective had the cheeseburger just hollenched and chon ketchup ketchup coating. Oh my God. Okay, Tyler and crew arrived at I don't think right the cobra they arrived at the meeting place. It was that it was a house. I just assume cobra is because she was in their showering well we just we just ruined the gag. I know clearly Andy Cideris house because there are posters for his movies hanging on the wall. We got that artwork we talked about earlier the artist you you name drop the one looking son. Yep. There we go. He stole literally stole comic book artists art made it ironic turn it into art and sold it for like millions. That's not that that's what that Banksy movie was about you're a piece of shit. Yeah. And so doc arrived because it's doc Tyler and tiger tiger and Tyler and tiger and they arrive at the house and doctors like something's wrong will or tiger you wait outside Tyler. It's stop breathing my air man and doc goes in alone to investigate the house and he's peeling around every corner we're seeing all the artwork and then finally here's that shower running and he checks the knob. It's wide open welcomes himself in a wide open turns the corner. It's cobra dressed wearing a bikini taking a shower holding a gun. So I have the thing they have to stand off and it's like oh it's you cobra. So now we learn doc and cobra have a little history and he's like hey how about I join you for that shower and they start making out and then she she's got a little cavity. She's like what's the similarity between real estate and kissing. I don't know location kisses them on the lips location kisses them on the pecs location kisses them on the six pack God damn right I'm moving on that call the sack those cum gutters are great she called his sack for right she called she gets naked in the shower takes her clothes off another sex scene I know I think we got like one more like are we going to take a vote of the sexiest scene in this movie can we do it already another scene for sex you know this is a sexy okay I called from adding the earlier and you guys just blew right past this with the speed skin the speeds in scale staying it's in the closet keep in the closet dude that speeds and scales getting dust on it we have not pulled it out I would say this one is probably the best of the sex scenes in the movie but it is a very low bar are they did a little bit I felt a little bit between these two but no no it is fucking low bar you're right so they fade out and then we cut to we see uh Cobra join us a car Cobra in a sauna cut off by a bus but warrior is intrigued by this yeah you do because you always be watching okay well Jeff Bagwell is an American former professional baseball first baseman and coach who spent his entire 15 year major league baseball play career with the Houston Astros oh my god oh my god I know this guy four time all-star nationally MVP nationally rookie the year gold glove award three times silver slugger award the nationally RBI leader Houston Astros number five retired and the Houston Astros Hall of Fame this whole time so she's been yelling at the whatever he listens on it's like saying that you know all right so he's like all right be gone from me he's like you've earned your right to live because I'm intrigued by this food willow care as they set up earlier in the movie he likes to fight right in the right he finds it delicious black belts fuck yeah he wants it so man well he's the next to report it boss it was like an army oh you gotta you gotta remember he tells them you boys are skinny as fuck tack on mass hit the gym he's like you got some ankles that look like griffs oh he throws at some protein powder at him gone from my site oh he did a joke he's just doing lines of protein powder of his desk man well comes in boss yes they they got away but there was an army there's nothing I could do but I assure you they know nothing they have no incriminating they can get nothing back to you my boss so as Manuel's leave Manuel's leaving I never caught this guy's name warrior has got his one stooge with the full house of daddy hair silver always wearing a suit I never caught that guy's name yeah he's just a good yeah he's just a good so Manuel's leaving and he's like please put in a good word for me all right so this I this is the best sex scene oh my god no 1000% this is the sedative he made this movie around this one scene this scene is fantastic he just he was sleeping woke up in a cold sweat one item said what if I get a professional wrestler to fuck an American gladiator oh my god imagine that off-screen they raw dog is the offspring they would come from that his wife woke up kissed him and said this is what we've been waiting for this is what I'll get the funds in place this is what gave Steve Jobs idea to make the iPhone right here the neon the muscle the fucking girth that's happening in this on both yeah I this is the most vascular sex scene I've ever seen Joe Coleman would have loved this man I think I need to send this to Joe Coleman to see what he thinks about it and yeah I don't know do we need madingly do we need to get madly dude oh what we we said out loud professional wrestler fucking an American gladiator Joe heard it he is sprinting here right now that's right he's uh he's a follow creed short he's a well he's always wearing those shorts what was the last time you saw Joe not wearing those shorts true yeah every time he's over here tiniest tank top we see the nips we see the packs we see it all and those tiny little shorts and we have to get the sensor bar out when Joe comes over because even us it's like come on Joe we're trying to talk all right madly start up the sweets and scale I don't know if people can hear you over the speeds and skills I know we're starting it up getting up we're trying to it takes a little while begin calibration uh uh madingly okay okay all right I think we're getting there Hamie came in came in came in me could pull his punch cards grip oh of course all right when I'm putting in the punch cards all right we're warming it up all right all right I forgot how long this thing takes it takes a while yeah it was meant it's been out in the shed for I don't know how long that's right we had a prime our little cedar shed we have out back we keep but all right but calibrate all right we're ready why are you barking she she just said 10 yeah on the scale man a fuck oh god i'm really excited i know he hasn't seen the swinsie on forever either she's excited well you know she's excited melly is a little all right she uh she watches a lot of the swinsie scale yeah i haven't seen as much uh passion out of her since that movie crimes of passion i think it's called yeah that was a great movie a lot of passion a lot of crime um and here we are neon lit room what's in the foreground guys we've seen a lot of asses in foreground let me see is it a profile of buff it is not a profile it's the like laying down sideways but like just one half of zap he is doing half a crunch right now oh yeah you are seeing the fucking mountainous glory of his six pack just peeking over and standing on top of those mountainous abs in the background is Kim and just a thin veil covering her body you know just something sheer but we got all this neon and this darkness happening so you're not all you're seeing is those beautiful packs in the foreground and then you finally get to hear uh jeff buff back well marcus speak up because he this is his views everybody this is like what's been going on in the background this whole time that we were unaware of he leans into zap and whispers in here my mom shaved my balls today it's smooth like a baby seat which part do i kiss first surprise me that was zap and they commenced to painting each other finger painting each other i've heard a finger banging okay is this finger banging is this what the kids are calling finger banging you know no okay they call it finger fisting good it's who is getting fisted oh my god it's it's rough because uh apparently these two were like some patico or something because it really does look like it's like the lightest dabbing there's no passion happening here this is no patrick's ways he goes situation with a molding giant dicks out of clay and he's wobbling him around shit like this is this is my dick when i was uh you know visceral human being this is what would be plowing you to know all right round table up scale of one to ten ten being highlander three according to the man himself speeds in the greatest vaccine ever recorded in history of mankind what do you give it mike give me your one to ten i know it's a tough decision i don't know like it's no wrong answer it's all opinion a four yeah that music was not fuckable i agree it's not fuckable at all what else brings it down for you it's not just the music the weird finger painting thing man i don't like it i don't listen there's nothing wrong with bodily fluid messy sex yeah but like when you say the griff there is when you start when you start bringing outside fluids into it to make it messy i don't know man so i like yeah i could you're not a food guy right you would never mix food with sex i wouldn't mix this i mean if it was like a whipped cream or something just like a light thing but like i don't want to get messy yeah i agree with you i don't like it i don't like you know cheats get clean them i don't want yeah i don't want to be fucking wrong that that's that's like you fucking on the table territory and there's an apple nearby you both like bite out of the apple i think i was in that movie the apple okay it's in my head i mean with three i don't i agree with everything you said and i'm just not into muscle women i don't like that yeah yeah you know what i like i i've always wondered what my moment's life tell me no this isn't like uh we're not going to learn anything about you you're not going to learn anything this isn't my thing but you know you get those women that uh lift weights they're not like fitness models kind of thing they're not ripped but they're thick like they got like you tell it's like a thick because they lift weights and stuff oh yeah it's not the tone but they do have it yeah i got you but like that ain't bad yeah i agree that's good now do you know what i'm talking about should i find an example yes i know oh i know what you're talking about like we can keep going i'll find ten minutes so okay oh i don't get a rating oh well okay give us your rating while we're waiting this scene starts at a nine and a half starts at a nine and a half and quickly plummets and if fucking nose dives like a rocket out of fucking space harboring an alien known as the warrior gym warrior gym hellaway warrior fuck this scene we fired up this feet in scale for a fucking reason because this scene starts out so goddamn hot so goddamn hot that ab shot i've never seen that before the fucking wind blowing teetering on a highlander three yeah oh my god it was there if i let her three start out with something like this if if i let her in a fucking neon fuck room yes everything about that first shot great but then it it's a terrorist didn't know how to bring it home he had it he had it right there he was there we just said he's phoning it and he's losing his touch i don't know if it's him i don't know if it's him or if did he die shortly after this maybe he was ill i don't know he had one more movie after this so i don't know if it was sickly it could have been the bags it could have been baggy uh baggy bag well it could have been uh kim zap laser uh it could have been the fact his mom didn't shave his bag well maybe it's i don't know a lot of things went wrong yeah three three to four is the right answer okay because the finger painting was fucking atrocious it looked awful but that's his thing remember the war paint so it makes sense they could have brought it home but there's no passion it was very calculated it was not raw passion just like gripping at fucking passing ass and ass and apples see that's what a guy like a director john dehart could have brought to it he would give them their motivation and it would have been they would have been raw dog oh my god he would have been crushing these kids instead of the real term raw dogging they were what the kids say raw dogging that's what that scene was and the kids aren't fucking anymore according to everybody apparently in the world so i have no idea what to google to find an example of what i'm talking about i have no idea either i'll keep i'll keep searching on the list think of a think of a wrestler you think who's not tone but is also kind of big because i think of like stratland statlander because she's she's kind of that's not a bad example because she's not like jacked but super tall but you can tell she works out yeah so i think we're getting to learn a little bit about mike yeah so is is you like like strong women because you want to be dominated mike is that it no controlled no you look at challenge no i just do you want to like it's it's it's just visually appealing okay you know that's up all right that's up cut two mike has never done a tip tap so well i guess i guess like this we're like she's not like american gladiator this isn't even the best example but it's like you could tell she hits the weights but but she's not like pop and veins you know what i mean okay pop and veins floating through the face i think there is a warrior in there cut two jordan is everybody together they're in the conference room doc is fucking furious about this he almost died and he's like jordan i think you're those leak i think you set us up all right kraiki my honor thanks so well only one person has the access password actually two people do that's tiger everybody that's my tiger hey guys why are we fighting amongst each other we need to get this warrior guy i heard he's consolidating all his assets he might leave the country we'll worry about jordan later great plan by the way there's somebody infiltrating and leaking information to warrior let's worry about that later let's just get warrior that sets me up to be like oh tyler is the fucking leak this makes sense because he sucks in every way right i don't like tyler by the way doc tyler is bland he's just bland there's no personality there again so this hand is the only thing beige about him he lost his way he lost his way doc's like good idea tyler you and i need to stake out warrior's place right let's all get our evidence together we're gonna go stake this place out uh warrior's place one of the places they knew about because warrior has like multiple estates and so they head out and jordan's like great plan boys but willow i need you to stay behind i got some glizzy's firing up on the bobay and we're gonna do some documents together hard code documents you know they kind of talking about we're raw dog and that ink will is like that's great i need to talk to doc first so she goes outside and she's like do not trust that jordan guy or detrick for that matter put a tracker that giant tracker under car yeah she hands them a game gear console to put on their car basically yeah we get a nice scene of chaz and jp just pumping iron little comical pumping of the iron uh i think once it was one part uh jc like like jay has bought out jp we've been saying it where our ass people jp is an ass man he turns to the mirror bump bump like you got what you got excited there when we were talking about jp grabbing his ass no i was looking no i was turning back because you were talking oh okay oh but yeah he turns and he's fucking grabbing at his cheeks and he's just like man i got some cake going on here that's his little comical scene they throw in they're like oh guys like benching like 20 pounds and like needs to be spotted you know huh but remember how angry we were that we didn't get the i forget what scene we were complaining about we didn't get payoff to tiger in her history right where they were like you've been out of commission for eight years maybe that was for the next movie i don't know oh yeah maybe oh yeah she's probably in that last one so we got the payoff where he said hit the fucking gym and they're actually hitting the gym pumping iron tarred but look at these fucking cakes duck and tireless show up at warrior's place great job they're like a hundred feet away this is allegedly a forest it's just a couple trees and they're just like hundred feet away from the fucking residents i think they're on his property right in his front yard parked on it in a car nothing conspicuous about this so we watches uh jp and you know chase they drop warrior off and they're assigned to go else go elsewhere and do something and warrior wearing his suit looking very good rick flare probably trust him up for this in 90s baggy oversized yeah it was not good i think i don't think it was bag i think it was one of those like i don't like these either muscle guys will do this because they're so proud of their body their waistline because they're so big at top they have to have it caught like it's like a v-shape they have it they have to show off that they have the small hourglass kind of kind of look that's that's and that's a bodybuilder like suit yeah i agree no i think he was rocking dead on with that and so uh doc and uh Tyler just shooting the shit and then wam i didn't know where bulldozer they didn't hear this bulldozer right they're literally talking about sandwich condiments right now it's fucking awful and then bulldozer and then they start having to shoot out because you guys get out of the car they're shooting at them tyler thankfully get shot by like jazz again our heroes cannot shoot for shit and tyler get shot in the leg and they i know tyler gets shot in the chest doesn't he no he gets shot in the leg oh does he he's got a cane later yeah oh okay and they these run out of bullets the bag uh jazz and jb and they take off they run off and then we get like a scene of them um no tyler is the one that shark has the cane later does no no no no tyler does get shot okay because doc makes a little uh crutch for him out of a stick uh yeah tree burrits shark and scorpion completely written off until the very end okay which i think they show up at the river bubble i don't know okay i'm confusing so yeah tyler and tyler are together so tyler gets shot in the leg because he has the cane which comes back in the play later yeah so they they they know that there's like which is a call back to cast a trigger and they use it again in another movie too man he was spending a lot of money on that crutch he lost though they they know there's a general store 45 miles away and it takes them five minutes to get there well if you notice they're going back to call back to malibu express back in the beginning when kobra took the money to uh kevin eastman she was using the same cow high kinja tashay case i did that cody ablin carries his gun in oh i did not notice that okay that's fucking brilliant he's got the prop that's why it's called the cedar cinematic universe that's right so the cal print kinja tashay case is like an infinity stone in the stu as you goddamn right so they uh chaz and uh jb run up below if they scurry off so now willow is arriving at a hotel with detrick and jordan so jordan is uh checking them in and she has to have a minute alone with detrick who's a fucking worm of human being i hear you were issued a recruiter from disneyland what'd you do there i was one of the rights jordan asked will oh hey let's get a drink and they they're they're gonna room together and you think we're gonna go to the bar they're gonna talk shop for a minute anything no straight the bedroom this was another bad section oh yeah put it away put it back in the shed manly we don't need it anymore and as they're they're they're they're doing a little pillow talk later she's like you think anyone knows about us i sure as hell fucking up so we run a fucking counter intelligence agency if our agents can't figure this shit out they're fucking retarded you could say that in australia i'm sorry mike half the population i know you came in with that hard-tarded i know i did say it where you're australia because half the population of australia is retarded are you trying to say my brainy weighty doesn't work exactly that's why you know because you're slang is so stupid just put a word on the end of a word and you've got a fucking slang word for it love oh bobby drop my notes i was so disgusted by that we're very sorry about the hard tard that we use there no we're not it's coming back we're taking it back mary's taking it back i'm here to join it i really hope hard tard tard it what did you say i said the hard tard it's because people my favorite junk vlogs people like they're a part of the n-word is the hard r so i said the hard tard i really hope that does not catch on well the kids have already picked it up it's an a 24 movie coming out next month come on and moving on he's trick calls up jordan he informs that inner pool has a satellite readout on warrior stash house and he's like we need to head off and meet up with inner pool so there he's leaving on the uh the hotel room that he was sharing with will they just had their night of sweet sweet boring passion well i was like go ahead and leave i'll see you later i'm gonna call foo and have them pick up pick me up but first i'm gonna order food foo is like give me the details what did you do do you shave his balls my little lotus what did you learn grasshopper what do you mean i fucked him i fucked his brains out i humped his brains oh excuse me they used yeah there was a little more classy than i grew up in and of course foo is you know foo is like getting ready to jerk off he's like that is that's it seriously he was like manning foo put the sweet and see all the way wait excuse me manning foo yes this person says this is manning foo willows assisted foo has his own assistant manning foo yes we've learned that there is a multiverse of madingly remember let manning genza for last week it's matting foo of course of course you know this oh god damn it they are the they are the time worms that press and fold time and space together room service arrives for willow room service it's chaz and jp waffles all upper red a bitch and they capture willow so foo shows up to pick up willow and they capture foo so now they're in the car guns pointed at food willow and they're taken to warriors dojo that's right now we're gonna cut over to warrior he's cutting a problem about taking over the world soon i'll have all the russia russia's jewels oil i'm gonna go to saudi arabian take whatever they fucking have over there gonna go to nazeland take a couple of them kiwis i'm gonna go down to fucking uh africa get some of them blood diamonds i've been hearing so much about and for dessert i'm gonna kill willow and foo with my bare hands it's this very ring in 3d on pay per view on sunday sunday sunday got back to cobra their cobra's tyler and doc doc arrived they got the got the makeshift fucking uh crutch for tyler he got shot in the leg that's right they're gonna shower up you know this is a good time that to daris he's afraid of showing two men together basically because they could have done a shower scene for the ladies but you know this is why the ladies want to see two men take a shower together you don't think ladies who want to see that not together maybe one guy taken a shower why would you want to see two guys showering together i don't know i'm with tim on this because like back in high school and stuff dudes would always be like oh there's lesbians that's so hot like if the lesbians you're not getting any of that dude why why are you so attracted to that they're just playing they're just having fun there's a couple guys having a good time okay apparently ladies would never want to see two guys shower i don't they might i don't know i feel like we got a cup of people all right ladies ladies of the gold office theater family total freak uh bro so yes she would want to watch two guys snap towels in the shower room oh man you know okay you guys make obber sound like a bit of a wild car she is location i wish people could see if you see how deadly serious shims face us by the way mattford you it's not what you think it's i mean but yeah it's weird tim looks very concerned right yeah well i don't want mattford to think that she's sending odd sexual things like no it's not like that all right uppers are she bro you know we're not we're nothing's actual going on mattford but there is weirdness going on but this part of this way i know what car she would want to fuck all right so where are we at where are we at they oh we're going back to their house they they just limp their way back we're getting all we're getting uh tiger tyler kobra um doc back together and kobra is like calling around she's like where the fuck is everybody we haven't heard back from willow she was the one lead they have is the the house stash house at dock notes that's right that's our only leads they decide to go there so there uh meanwhile jordan and detrick show up at a lake and he's like deters like this is where the inner pole people want is it means like what's weird yeah just get out there and walk over to that pond maybe they'll pop out or something and so jordan being the fucking goofy is where you know i'll sure do that we just have to flush these australians he's doing a goof thing now oh yeah i'll do that guys don't worry there we got it maybe there's a way up it to pay any shot by detrick yeah right in the chest manwell and kim pull up right after there they have a brief case oh they're actually at another location because they're gonna they were gonna get oh because we now uh spoiler people detrick is hard drive the leak so they are gonna pay him a million dollars million but man well's got another plan he's not like he has they have the kingitashi case of the million dollars in it he's like i has something extra for him so he's in the car with kim and he's explaining this to her pops it in there it's a bomb y'all say that it's bomb and remote control this is the one you said there was no rv's you met our sees uh but he's you said there's yeah it's okay uh we were no art to my defense there were no rv's in this either it's a good point that's why i didn't bring it up because he would be right both ways um so there is one remote control and it's for a bomb pops it in there and explains to kim i'm will i don't care if we lose a million dollars because business you know sometimes in business it takes it costs a lot of money it's still stupid yeah i was oh no it's still very stupid it's been well spent yeah you could have just like throwing the bomb i don't know so yeah he that's the plan and so they do the cash exchange manwell skittier skitters back to the car he's so giggling he's so excited yeah he's so tickled by his own ingenuity he's running back to the car and then you're a kim car hey bro wait up and he turns around and kim pulls out a gun from she's got like a little skin tight dress on or whatever yeah and she or skirt i should say dress yeah whatever pulls out a gun wearing heels in the middle of the woods yeah that too but then at the same time detrick pulls out a god like i don't know this is stupid and then they both shoot manwell right and they throw the bomb into manwell's car and blow it up that's right and they take off with the money and kim's been fucking detrick that's the thing so i know kim's fucking um warrior yeah in our very boring finger painting scene yeah well she might have something going on with detrick too that's true that's true so our crew arrive at the docks they're like gonna go river boating to find this cabin they're explaining how hard it's gonna be because they've got a blip machine but they're like another remote control but they're like we got to get really close we're gonna need a lot of luck and then after this whole fucking exchange happens they just show up they stumble upon jordan because he got shot right at the side of the river yeah so they got a whole lot of luck they found this spot they find jordan thankfully good thing i had more bully will invest as if i see westy a couple of my wibby wibbies that's a tough one wibby wibbies uh got broken and you know broky wokey wouldn't you know it detrick he's the molly wolly and this fucking bloody widey and he got he went off there Northy Worthy with the cheesy way he's a blondie fondie and they're like let's go that's our next lead quick cut willow is preparing i'm glad that at least like warriors said hey i want to do it real pro wrestling style you're going to be wearing an outfit i'm going to be wearing an outfit i'm the native american you are the colonizer so you will be wearing a red white and blue bikini outfit shouldn't have had like iron made in plane for some of these season so run to the hills run to the hills and you know they could have really beefed this couldn't afford it but now we're getting so yeah we try to streamline this for our note yeah and he is keeping up with this cut we're getting like five second cuts of the wrestling match happening yeah betwixt of all the other fucking goings on and this is always ben sideris's issue is like he cannot fault he's very autistic in this way where it's just like here's a thousand different non-sequitur scenes that eventually might come together so warrior wants to fight foo and willow at once she's like after foo and he's like hey i'm not going to go in there and then she gives she flips off the warrior yes she does she gives them a thumbs up and then flips them off yeah and then they go in the ring and then we cut back yeah this is gonna be cuts back and forth for the rest of this fucking movie yep they get double clothesline that's the first thing we see a lot of goofy they would fit right home in a dumpy maybe this is what inspired tony con maybe a lot of goofy ass fucking uh some wrestling here we've got our other goons this is like our main goon gang uh gathering at the cabin where they've been stowing away all these precious artifacts the buddha i forget if it's dueling crustid or if it's just going just going you're getting ready to leave the country with all this loot even even chas has upgraded his look he's gone full cholo he's cholo chas now he has he has looks good yeah yeah like that oh yeah yeah which is as we meet him at one point he's dubbed me cholo mic yeah this is the this is the mic where it's like you only button the top button just the very very top and then leave everything else is flowing yeah you got it which i never did i can't say it always says no did i tell you that go ahead uh there's a mexican woman that works in payroll and i was telling her how you guys call me cholo mic and she was like in her thick mexican accent she was like no because like yeah you wear you wear dicky shirts but like you would also need to be wearing dicky's pants and like be wearing chuck tailors and i stepped out from behind the desk and i was wearing my dicky's pants and she was like oh so one day i did go up there i put a bandana around my head and i unbuttoned everything but the top button and she cracked up so yeah so he does like birds are flying around his head and then we go back to the other fight back to the boat fight chas is like i'm gonna lead us over to this quiet canal that'll be that will hide out there they'll try to chase after us we'll get the jump on them they turn their backs millie wants to try man with something she's like you're getting confused guys there's either there's either a groundhog running around back there or the d that's not the deer bark that's a groundhog bark okay uh but so he's got chas got this all planned out they get all set up and the next thing you know doc appears in the background he's on a little inlet piece of land he's got a giant gone hay assholes and shoots the motor which as we know in an action movie that's where guests also live so it explodes into an a bomb yeah one gallon of gas we'll do that yep and um and this like you told us yeah and then uh the smoke clears new seat chas and jp covered in soot their clothes are shredded because they were in an explosion and jb's hair is like sticking in a crack a couple jokes uh because that's the thing they've been doing in the past few movies bad guys get blown up in one scene and they die but when it comes to these two they don't because laughs i guess they get told to handcuff themselves and i believe that's the last we see of chas and jp are these guys just like internal beings or something can they not die i know because it's different characters every movie it's the same act well not platypus platypus was new but the dude with uh almost scull it um yeah yeah yeah that's at least his third appearance playing the same type of character just a different one man so our crew find the green van that doc had uh tracked tracked before so now they they're at the place the stash house and they think they're getting the spring on uh those set that's out of goons but that's out of goons here's them walking through the woods and they're like hey there's people approaching let's get ready so of course guys guess what gunfight kobra runs after kim she's i can take that bitch yeah uh because she's pissed off because we didn't we didn't mention earlier when doc gets uh found out by men well she's kim spits on spit on him and that she's like i spit on my man not you that's you would you say would you say she hawk to us yeah she did no because she likes doc and as you know you only hawk toa when a country is not number one oh i see what Mike did with it we're playing with this in all kinds of ways yeah so she runs after kim kim runs into the room where they have all the loot and hits her it's kobra with a candlestick knocks her out knocks her out takes off once again wearing stiletto heels in the woods so she's having a hard time running away yeah but sederis has a look for all these ladies and not to mention you know she's freaking jacked so that's at least 225 on heels in the woods oh yeah so you're saying you're sinking yeah she's sinking oh yeah and it's surrounded by water too so it's not gonna be like firm we're the bayou dude we're born in the bayou wait credence are we credence do we have any credence we're we took a chance we took a chance nah i didn't you see why i'm uh bremley shooting off the exploding arrows and shit in the background you grip that name william bremley i gotta laugh i apologize to the memory of wilford bremley i'm not gonna die or beat us oh oh oh it's nice when it's not me for once you're rubbing off on me yeah i'll do that to you too much rod dogging can run runs into jordan kobra's like she recovers like i want this bitch let's do this and kim's like fuck yeah you're half my size i'll fucking squash you right she so put that gun down i'll fucking take you mono emano and so cobra pulls out a knife and then she pulls out a knife and opens it like i'm gonna cut you up bitch but then she does another little slight of hand trick because she drops the knife and kim stares down at the knife giving kobra an opportunity to right cross her and as she always learned her pappa always taught her if it ain't a right cross pappa pappa pappa pappa pappa pappa pappa if it ain't it with the pappa it's just so it's it's the good i just gotta do it it's really good it's really good uh so if it ain't a right cross you ain't going to red cross that's a thing that's good i like it all right tyler is complaining everybody's got go me and tiger's like oh poor baby did you see that can i made you it's a gun baby and he's like what and then she but she takes it from him and she launches a rocket and she yeah she's got a rocket in her boot so this is wrestling could learn a thing or two the gun with no name is at the fuel station which is of course the corrugated steel like three by three shack for this scene spray painted fuel station by yours truly with his left hand is non-dominant oh man gosh she blows up the fuel shed with goon with no name in a car everything i touch explodes oh god all the goons are caught and rounded up we just need to find willow and fool and they're like deetric deetric also has stood on his face he must have been in an explosion too yeah when did he get in a suit like what happened next to the fuel station okay i don't i don't know or he was uh sitting behind a car and it blew i watched this okay like i finished it an hour before i came over here and i don't know when he got blown up this is a fucking tough one there's so many weird and i have a goldfish brain so a lot of moving parts yeah we definitely that's why that's why we do these kinds of notes because we also goldfish where's willow and fool i'll show you where they are they're back in the ring foo is being manhandled but he grabs an international object outside the ring it's like it's like a night stick a cop would use that's right and he's trying to toss it in but as he's tossing it in of course warrior has other guards but they can't just be normal guards everybody they're wearing the ninja tabby or ninja outfits and they also have little fucking uh kakana's or something which why were they dressed as like martial artists shouldn't they be dressed as indians something i don't know you should that's not because this is gimmick infringement he's like i'm the only indian he's the only yeah but here's the thing okay the dojo is that like a block away from the stash house because we've established that he's fighting willow while the fight is going on because doc shows up yes immediately it makes no sense the connection here because they also show the i'm waiting for the ranch house from the fucking remissure van yeah for real we saw the exterior of this place and it it's your typical suburban office it used and he said it's his house it used to be a gym it looked like it used to be like a powerhouse gym or something they might have if he had a house in uh texas then they might have just had like a big warehouse barn on there yeah maybe but they this had like fucking all the structure built out oh it's all like it was some little fucking gym at one point and so yeah they just arrived there they just arrived there we get the weapon or the international object tossed into the ring so now fucking uh willow is armed against warrior and she is going straight for the fucking knee well the calves she oh this is weak spot she recognizes those calves is a weak spot that's that's what ruptured the uh that the infections yeah blew them up july strained and uh those those weren't working punches bro they're those were shoot that's right so the guards are coming after foo and that's when doc steps in and start shoot they start shooting all the guards dead well he does he does uh an abilene that's why he should have been doc abilene he missed why there's a bucket of water just hanging yes and it's the show that he missed the shot because that's what abilene's do they line up the shot and miss and then what's so is this tyler stop them Tyler did yeah tyler sentin shot him and made his snide remark yeah yeah so willow kneecaps warrior he falls on top of her as a technically he won the match they pinned her yeah i can't if the ref wasn't knocked out that's right i counted three so and and then foo comes in she's like i need to get something off my didn't she make the call back to the get something off my chest yeah i think so yeah yeah and foo helps helps get him i don't know why he put all of his eggs in that choke basket i don't um it was pointing to him at the time you know very much like oh yeah we have our fucking yeah we have our inside jokes and they have theirs yeah so and then they all all the crew gets together some shitty fucking Louisiana uh to see you know all the river boat yeah and uh they we skip the thing oh by the way scorpion shark will be all right they're fucking in the hospital right now and then they're like any it get this food just got a fucking residency at this casino and then jerelachan mora jumps out in his jumpsuit everybody claps everybody's happy sederis always leaves the audience cheering exactly what he does stroke it is often playing at the end of every fucking sederis what do you think uh freakin get the idea that's right he's a big sederis fan he knows he knows in cindy area art when he sees it he knows how to fuck through a rolling donut no he definitely knows that fuck all right so there you have it people another sexy sederis for you whoo thanks for coming on mike's always good to see you glad to be here thanks for having me and um it was enjoyable day of the warriors enjoyable it's just not upper echelon sederis yeah sederis head is hey day yeah but it's still it's just like the brain movies man there's still something about all of them i like to see where sederis takes there's a reason sederis quit after the next movie he was just like i don't have anything in maning yeah he was probably feeling in this one it was like okay next one's the last one squeezing it all out i want to see what he squeezes out of there you probably tied up all the loose ends you know because there's a lot of loose out of the cloud this is the cinematic universe do we learn about tigers past maybe do we just i wish we will know that the next time mike's on we'll do that well actually we won't because he'll be on for something in schlachtober but before schlachtober they're september and grip i just think like we've done everything there's no we've reinvented the podcast a million times over there's nothing else nothing new under the sun for us we've done it all as all these fucking uh people are pitching to me when they email me hey glowing global steeder you have one of the best podcasts around i could help you increase your income tenfold so tenfold of zero is nothing from nothing zero uh yeah 389 i listen to all 389 episodes and i'm like are you the fucking bots hitting our show because fuck you you've done 389 episodes if you include the tippy test yes this is holy this is episode 325 you were a part of damn yeah flies yeah you didn't yeah nobody thought i don't i know i i 100 thought that you Tim would have got bored of it within like 20 yeah but we here we are here we are here we are you're welcome doctor the listener is there all right but it's one thing we've never done and in 325 episodes we've never done a western oh damn that's right you're ready you're doing a last day but you know us we got to do it gg style so we're gonna be doing weird western month okay so the movies we're gonna start you out with a traditional western but they're gonna get weirder as each week goes by i love this i'm intrigued yeah this is a this is a fun one that's been cooking so up first we're gonna do probably my favorite Clint Eastwood westerns you got to do Clint Eastwood if you're doing Westerns we're getting the sweets and scale up for this this Clint i think he raped somebody but i don't think they should i'm interested to know what your favorite Clint Eastwood western it's called high plains drifter oh i just bought that yeah kino lordber did a big western sale and i picked that up nice oh you'll have you'll have a reason to watch it hell yeah so giddy up everybody for september because that's what you're gonna be hearing i'll be wearing my cowboy hat all the way and then for schlachtober you might be seeing a lot more of mike that's how my teas you with that leave it that and we'll see you next week y'all keep it warm
The LETHAL ladies are tasked with saving their agents from Buff Bagwell's devious plot.
More audio stuffs happened :/