Test Match Special
No Balls: Captaincy & Keyrings
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Get a zero dollar delivery fee with your first three orders while supplies last, minimum $10 in order additional term supply. BBC sounds, music, radio, podcasts. We've got to let everybody know that we use some naughty words from time to time. Sometimes naughty words just slip out of our mouths. And Alex is always the culprit. Sugar. Anyway, if you don't like it, don't listen, but we beep them out. So your kids can listen. And cross strikes in the first over, it's what even we're looking for. Party balls down the track comes score and this time chicken acts. It's either six or out, it's six. Welcome back to no balls, a great captain with the cricket captain. We haven't mentioned it. With me, Alex Hartley and the captain, Kate Cross. Hello, Alex, how are you? I'm all right, skipper, how are you? I'm good, I'm good. It's been a few weeks. Has it since we did a podcast? A couple of weeks. We did a little social clip to announce the captain. See, that came out last week. Yes, because I found out about the captain. The day we did the pod. And I knew if we did it, if we talked about it two weeks later, the novelty or the news would have probably worn off. So we're like, let's get it in now. Really sweet. But our media lady at England, E-marsh, messaged me. She was like, I was crying at your clip on no balls. It was just so sweet. Oh, it was sweet, to be fair. It was like you being like, I'm so excited. It was me being like, everyone's going to be so proud because we are. You're the England captain. And now I'm dead tired. Yeah, you first day on the job, how has it been? Yes. Honestly, it was like first day back at school. It was like, right, remember your pencil case. Remember, this is where you sit. Remember, this is how you do it. Remember your teacher's names. Remember the bells, not for you, it's for them. But it was good fun. We played a warm-up game against the World Cup team in Loughborough. Not very UAE conditions. It was quite wet. Rainy and green, I imagine. And a bit, yeah, foggy. There's this mist hanging around, which they're probably not going to get in the UAE. Maybe replicate the Jew in the second innings possibly. But yeah, first day on the job, everyone was brilliant. We had lots of fun. We got a win under our belts. It was a strange day. A lot of waiting around because we got rained off in the morning for the first game. And then a very happy afternoon because everyone did really well. And obviously for us, it was a bit of prep leading into the Island series. And brilliantly for us, we got a lot of confidence from today. And battle squad runs, bowlers, bowls well, everyone fielded well. Maddie Villiers took another specky catch that, you know, the ones that I was talking about, that everybody in women's cricket knows how good she is at catching, but not everyone sees them because they're not always live on Sky. She took another one of them. So yeah, I think from our point of view, it was a great day. From the World Cup point of view, they've still got a lot of prep leading into the World Cup. So I'm pretty sure they're not going to be worried. No, I don't think they're going to be worried. I did see a bee reel of someone going whoopsies. Nice. I think that might have been Danny Gibson, was it? I didn't want to drop a name. I think I was in it. I was in it because I was like, what's she doing? I went to say good luck to everyone at the end of the day because obviously we won't see anyone now because they'll jet off to UAE. And we flight to Ireland on Thursday. And yeah, she was just like covering her eye up doing a bee reel. Yeah. Speaking of Ireland on Thursday, I booked my flights for Friday. So any nobles fans fancy it? Me and Hen Two Fingers will be there. Oh my gosh. Side note, Hen Two Fingers got spotted at Beckenham the other day by a fan, a genuine fan of the podcast who has sent us a gift in the recent past. So thank you very much for that gift. But yeah, they were like, Hen Two Fingers. I was like, please, please go and ask them for a photo and for an autograph. So they did. They chased after Hen. Got a photo and an autograph. And Hen obviously was howling at the fact that they'd been spotted. But yeah, please come to Ireland. It's dead cheap flights, isn't it? Yeah, my flights have been like literally 17 quid. Yeah, so you can't even get on your local bus for that these days. So get over to Ireland. We're playing in Belfast for the first three ODIs, then two T20s in Dublin, which I've heard is a good night out. Never be myself, but I've heard it's a good night out. Be the shame I'm coming to Belfast, really. Also, I don't want to name and shame the Thunder Girls by any means. But I've heard the Diamonds Girls are all flying over, because if you've not qualified for Rachel Hayhoe Flint finals, you've got a bit of time off next week. So gals, if you're listening, if you fancy it, thunder on tour. Our girls don't have time off, they've got to play a three-day game. Oh, I heard that vicious rumor. Oh god. So they can't come. Anyway, how are you, Al? Yeah, I'm good. Flights aside, 17 pound down. You're good. I'm really good. I'm really good. Thank you. I've had some time off. Time off, unheard of. I know, I know, and I thought I had two days work in September, but I didn't get my approval for the last two days off. So I've now got four days work, which isn't much. But yeah, four whole days. When you do put it like four whole days in September, I know you've got to travel and stuff, but four whole days out of a month, I think you'll be all right. I think I'll be all right. It's just the other bits that we've planned in between, because the golf day's locked in. Yes. We've got the golf day locked in. We've now suddenly found out we can go on holiday together. Yes. So watch this space, because that will be spam. And then we've actually spent a bit of time together last week, which was very nice and very unusual. How wholesome was Friday? Friday was cute. I cooked. Well, I didn't actually cook as anything, did I? The rice was raw, so I can't really say I cooked for you. Yeah, no, crossy cooked raw rice, but I quite liked it with a crunch. You did say you like a crunch, so I gave you a crunch. Yeah. But no, we had lunch, and then we had crunch. And then we went and dropped in at Phoebe Graham's house for an hour, which is a bit random, but completely ruined her and her boyfriend's evening. Yeah, she was like, "Do you want a glass of wine?" I was like, "Oh, don't talk to me about alcohol." But yeah, not much going on in my life, to be completely honest. I've slept all weekend, which has been bliss. I woke up at midday Saturday and Sunday. And then, yeah, that's it. Well, we had another accidental night out, didn't we? Yeah, we last Saturday. A little small one. Turned into a little big one. It was not a little big one. It was a big, big one. And we said on the night, we're like, "We just need to do this more often." And then I got a voice note from you the next day going, "We do not need to do this more often." Yeah. Like, why did we decide really to do that more often? Yeah. But good fun. Great film was had. It was. And I always like going out with you, because we get giddy and it's fun. It was. We've not done a mojo's night for ages, and we ended up in mojos. Yeah. And it's never, you know, it's never fun when you wake up with chicken nuggets, chips, mayonnaise and cheese in your bed. Yep. That's the sign of a good night. We, so I'm pretty sure our OG listeners will know how much we love mojos or loved past tense mojos. It was the place that we always used to go after night out, because it was the only place open till like 3, 4 a.m. We're way too old for that now. We don't do that stuff anymore. Yeah. And we turned up and we're in mojos. And we play this game called, "If two unrecognizable songs are on." So if you don't recognize two songs in a row, we leave 4 a.m. We're still in there every time. Every time it gets to 4.30, we were like, right, we've not had two bad songs in a row, but we're leaving. We're going. Yeah. But you're all good, otherwise you're the happy in yourself? All good. All good. I'm playing the Grove tomorrow, because you can't. So I've had the call up. Yes. We've got our England Golf Day tomorrow, which no one from England can attend. So they've gone for the X England Golf Day, I think. Yep. So I'm playing with the other captain, Heather Knight. Yeah, other captain, other skipper, about the Grove. So what I learned from playing at the Grove last year, you really need to hit the ball in the fairway, because if you hit in the rough, it's that horrible rough where you just can't see the ball. So take a lot of bi-spares, basically. Okay. I've got bright orange balls. Yeah. I've got a few things on my sticking out actually, crossy. And the first one is, do you think it was a coincidence last week that you got named England captain the same day that Oasis got back together? Yeah. You text me about this, didn't you? I would say I would love to have had that much of an influence on probably one of the most anticipated reunion of all times. But it was nothing to do with me. And we didn't get any tickets. So if any lovely nobles fans out there want to gift us some tickets, we will, what will we do, what we will do for Oasis tickets? Anything, like genuine- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, not anything. No. We'll play, we'll play golf with you. I would honestly, honestly give my left arm to attend Oasis. And I queued for nine hours. We both queued for nine hours and didn't get tickets. Two hundred and fifty seven thousandth in the queue, get to the front. It was like eight hundred and one, three hundred and twenty six, one, you are next in the queue, you're in, your turn. I get there, put the tickets in my basket, error. Well, brilliant. At least you got there and got tickets, whereas I got kicked out for being a bot twice. You are a bot though. Yeah, very true. Another thing on my stick, you know, is I got really excited, you're England captain. So I'm quickly doing the podcast, I'm quickly, if anyone doesn't know, Crossy is England captain, quickly doing my tweet, and I'm like, I'm so proud of Crossy 16 on Instagram, like this is amazing, I tag you in it. I tagged the Scottish cricketer. Oh, you tagged someone else? Matthew Cross on Twitter instead of you. Matthew Cross. Yeah, and other thing, captain Cross, six for, and do you know how we always call you Ben Stokes because you once batted and scored the winning runs with a bot and you're like, now I know how Ben Stokes feels. Yeah, you're one step closer to being Ben for Ben Stokes now. Ben Stokes. You are one step closer to being a good wicket-keeper who can't get selected for England. Maybe that's where you're going. Yeah, it's the bat, the bat stuff, the bat in not so much, but do you know what, Al? I've really enjoyed being with Thunder the last week and I got the bonus game of getting to play Rachel Hale flink game and I don't know if you ever had this when you played, but do you ever just like feel so good within yourself in terms of like confidence? And bear in mind, I didn't really have a brilliant 100. I thought I bowled all right, but it wasn't like a you know, a tournament where I've come off the back of it going, I'm dead good at cricket, but I just felt really clear and really good and back to 50 over cricket and I was like, I feel like I'm gonna have a good day tomorrow and then I did have a good day and it was like, oh, maybe if you do, maybe if you're Tara Norris manifest, it actually works. It works, it does work. But yeah, six for Crossy, another thing to be proud of. Thank you. Yeah, it was quite funny actually because I had to do an interview with the ECB at the end of that game and the guy was like, uh, list, they were, you list a best figures, so career best figures. Uh, did you know that they were your career best figures? So I was like, well, I've never had a five for thunder, so I had an inkling that they might be up there. Yeah, yeah, they're up there. Yeah. Um, but not to like give Debbie Downer, not quite as good as my six for 20, were they? There you go. You can win that one. You can have it. I always aspire to beat you. Yeah, I looked at the, uh, the record actually today because I was like, you know what? I'm going to see if I'm still up there. I'm not, I'm not, not got the best hey-ho figures anymore on fourth, which is a shame. Oh, fourth is still pretty good, so you've been retired here. Yeah, but that was 2022 and look, no one wants to finish fourth. It's like the Olympics. That's true. That is true. Um, speaking of people just being ridiculously good at cricket, Gus Atkinson. It's just the Gus Atkinson summer, isn't it? It's the Gus Atkinson Honors Board. He's the Lord of Lords. It's actually going to be renamed the Gus Board. Gus, he's bored. Amazing. A hundred, a hundred, he's never had a hundred before, and he scored it in a test match at Lords. It's actually nuts. And then did you see the next day? You got like seven, five for, got a five for again. He's on the on, he's played two games at Lords, and he's on the Honors Board five times. Do you know he's on the Honors Board at Lords more than Freddy Flynn off? Yeah, mad. Mental. He's on the Honors Board at Lords more than you and me. I'm not surprised. We've done really play much at Lords. You are though. You're going to play a test match there. In fact, he's played two games at Lords. How many games have you played at Lords? Two. So I've played two, you've played two, he's played two. He's played two within the first five test matches he's ever played, and he's on the Honors Board five times, and we've played twice in our careers. We'll leave that one there. Just, it's just one to think about. Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. At Mint Mobile, we like to do the opposite of what Big Wireless does. They charge you a lot. We charge you a little. So naturally, when they announce they'd be raising their prices due to inflation, we decided to deflate our prices due to not hating you. That's right. We're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at mintmobile.com/switch. $45 up front for three months plus taxes and fees, promoting for new customers for limited time. Unlimited more than 40 gigabytes per month slows. Full turns at mintmobile.com. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big row as man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friends still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com/results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com/results. Terms and conditions apply. Linkedin, the place to be, to be. Should we do some emails then? We have got a few to get through. I actually listened to last week's episode, you know. I went for a little run. I threw it back to lock peak lockdown where we used to go running and do 5Ks and try and beat our times and put the podcast on and it really helped. It genuinely got me through. We really have prioritised Anna and Sue this summer, I would say, going upstairs. Should we change it up? I think we should. It's that time of year where we get to vote for our favourite umpire. Well, it's not a favourite actually. That's not right. It's the best umpire of the year. If it was, we would be voting for Anna and Sue. But it's the best umpire of the year for the PCA Awards, so I just had the email. So I actually voted for Beep Beep Beep. Who knows? So we're going to go upstairs with... Okay, I've got one here and it's from Sophie and Chloe. Oh, they've attached a nice little picture with you at Trent Bridge, Alex. You were in a green jacket. Hi, Alex and Kate. Loving the pod. It was lovely to meet you, Alex, at the Trent Rockets versus Oval Invincibles game at Trent Bridge on Wednesday after failing to see you earlier in the season. This wasn't on Wednesday just to let everyone know. Sadly, we didn't get a chance to speak to you. However, we did manage to startle you as we both look so similar. We know you guys like when people are sending questions. So, ours is. Would either of you ever go on first dates from Sophie and Chloe and they say they loved your outfit? Right, so Sophie and Chloe, I remember them, right? And obviously, I knew there were twins, but I was just being like, "Wow, you two look similar." They were like, "Yeah, with twins." Would you ever go on first dates? That reminds me of the time you signed me up to Naked Attraction, actually. And then they rang me. They were like, "Do you still want to go on it?" I was like, "I've done with someone, sorry, bye." Would I go on first dates? I don't think so. I'm really intrigued. I don't want to do this on Telly. This has always been my thing, but I think they really match people up well on that show. Well, maybe you should do it. I'd love to know who I get. Like, honestly, they're like, "Oh, I really love tall men with bald heads who've got the nose pierced." And then the tall man with the bald head and the nose piercing sits down in the chair and it's like, "Oh, we're going on a date together." It's like your type, is it? Not my type. I tried to do a more generic type than tall dark and handsome, but it went for tall bald and nose piercing. Doesn't mix it up. Anyway, mix it up. Maybe that's who I voted for in the umpire. Yeah, I'd like a short balding. Overweight, non-passionate man. Yeah, someone with no drive. So, yeah, I think I would. And the food always looks good. And I fancy the waiter. Hi, England Captain Kate and TV star Alex. This is from Neil and Shelby. Do you think this magic mic show in Scarborough might be appealing to Agas? Right. Okay, there's a story behind that. So, I told Agas on air that the London Spirit Girls went to watch magic mic before the final. Yes, yes, they did. I saw that. And on air, Agas was like, "So, what's magic mic?" I was like, "I had to be a bit more PC than this, but I was basically like, it's naked men thrusting old show." Basically, to summarise it quickly, there's more dancing in it. There's more dancing in it. It's more dancing in there. Dancing and it's sexual and it's like sexy. But Agas, I was trying to describe it to him. I can't picture it. So, I got a video up on my phone and showed him it on air. He went, "Oh, that's not my thing. That's not my type of thing." Right. Okay. I can imagine that was quite hilarious, actually. Yeah. So, yeah, maybe the Scarborough show might be for Agas. Who knows? Right. Maybe we need to take a little trip to Scarborough. Skybados. Skybadas. I got bed bugs in Skybados, do you remember? Yeah, you did. And the hotel was like, "No, you didn't." Yeah, they said it didn't happen. I was like, "But look at my skin." I did. It did. This is a long one, Al. Are you ready? I'm ready. Buckle in. It's called Farewell to Cricket in England and WBBL draft inbound. Okay. Hi, Kate and Alex. Longtime listeners, first time emailers. We are Northern Superchargers, Northern Diamonds, York's County Cricket Club and Adelaide Stryker's fans. First off, the 100 was at Ace this year. It just keeps going from strength to strength. It got my wife and I into cricket in its first year and we now even play. Can't go wrong. You get to watch two games of Elite Cricket for the price of one, #winning@cricketlife. Disclaimer, we are reluctantly envious of the Lanky, Lanky, Lanky, Lanky, Lanky song and Lanky the mascot. Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie Yorkshire doesn't have the same thing to it. It's true. Oh, he's Vinnie the Viking, isn't it? Yeah. Alex, before you went on live TV to interview Cross Year Headingly for the final Northern Superchargers game of the season, we saw you put your arm around her. It suddenly became the end of our season. Fresh news for Kate too. What was that like trying to console your mate whilst interviewing her at the same time? Um, I'll tell you what. I found it quite hard because I was in my head building up. I was always interviewing you and no matter what happened. But in my head, I just presumed you were winning because you told me you were winning the comps. I was like, well, they're obviously winning today. Which would have been such a better interview. So I put my arm around you, said unlucky and you went, that's just the game, isn't it? And I was like, okay, she's not grumpy. She's not sad. Like, obviously you're gutted, but you're going to be okay. And then I started asking you a question and you answered them so well, it just made me feel more relaxed because I was like, what cross is going to turn up here? Yeah, well, I'm never going to stitch you up in an interview. Like, that would be ultimate worst, best friend, wouldn't it? Like, no, and we had some bad noises. Great. Yeah. Yeah. But I guess in that moment for me, like, obviously you're interviewing me. I know I'm not daft, it's you interviewing me, but you're also just an interviewer at that point. So I have to answer the questions as I would with anyone. And someone actually messaged me being like, why were you so grumpy? Like, you're completely through your bat, your bat is under the bus. So I was like, well, we've just lost. Why would I not be grumpy? Like, of course, it's just been booted out the tournament. Of course, I'm grumpy. Anyway, we missed the interview as we were in the crowd, but we wanted to see it. And we've decided to make a big life move. So I heading down under next June for more Sun in Australia, Australia, Mike. Good news for England away support, because we've got two more in the crowd when you do the washes out there. This means we need your help. What's the crack with Australian cricket? And what's it like playing out there? How does a cricket palm fit in with the washes? Do they approach cricket differently out there? You'll be absolutely fine. The clubs out there are so welcoming, aren't they? You've got to remember though, you're upside down. So you've got to think like how you normally hold the ball to swing it is actually going to go the other way because everything's upside down in Australia. Yeah, and it's like when you're running into ball, if you find yourselves on your hands rather than your feet, don't worry about it. Yeah, and make sure the bats upside down because you're upside down. Yeah, yeah, and the world just looks different up. It's just better. It's sunnier and nicer. I'll tell you what you will notice though, when you get out there, Troy and Erica, is that the toilet and the sink flush the opposite way. And do not do what I did and make the mistake of doing the macarena with Australians because they jumped the other way. We jump right, they jump left, and then you're just facing the wrong way on your own. So make sure you consolidate with your Australians before you do the macarena. Crick it out there is exactly the same as in England, Bacious, Warmest, Sunnier, and nicer. Yeah, and breakfast is better and coffee tastes good. I want to go. We are going. Well, we're doing a little holiday, aren't we? Found it. Found so many holidays. Tell me you're single again. But carry on. That was it. Oh, that was it. Sorry. Sorry for the long email. That's the problem with being longtime listeners and first time emailers. Lol. All the best, Troy and Erica. Right, this one's from anonymous. Well, anon, so I presume they want to be anonymous. Unless that's their name. No, because I've just seen that they're called something. All right, okay. Hello, ladies, but more Kate than Alex awkward pause. Sorry, Alex. Excuse me. I recently had a next session in which I felt amazing and was bowling about the fastest I ever have to date calculations work out about mid 80s and a couple of effort balls trying to get the 90 mile an hour bragging rights. I ended up with a side strain. I've coped a few injuries in my time. Stress fracture, bad knee, upper back, right calf, but not a side strain being a fellow fast bowler and a fellow side strainer. How does one recover from a side strain? Any hints and tips and fast and solid recovery would help. Is this Mark Wood? This is anonymous. Mark Wood's not going in touch then. Donnie's knee is ankle. He's back inside. Not Mark. Yeah, not Mark. All right, Woody. Well, side strains are actually a pain in the bum because you really have to look after them. I always, I always think side strains and hammies always look after them because if you get it wrong, it can be a nightmare. So even when you think you fit the bowl, don't bowl. Give yourself another week. Yeah, always, always, always give yourself longer. And we're not on film, so no one will be able to see me do this. But when you cough or sneeze, sneeze into your side that saw, so like crunch up into your side. Does that help it? It just stops it from bursting open more. So like if you crunch it up, then it can't go anywhere. So it stops. Yeah, it stops it opening. Nice. But other than that, I'm not a trained medical professional. So do not take any advice from me or Alex on that. I'd say stretch it ball faster. Just running faster. Don't do that, seriously. No, don't. This is also an anonymous one. Oh, we've been warned as well. Henry sent these emails out and he's put not to give this name away. Okay. Okay. I think this is a serious one. I'll it says thank you. Hi, ladies, please feel free to read this out, but I prefer if you didn't mention my name. Thank you. Hi, I just wanted to take time out and thank you for your time at all traffic test match. I'm a huge cricket geek badger and I have suffered from mental health challenges. Granted, I'm a touch behind on listening to your podcast as it's been a tough year and I've shut down. Graham Forbes tragic death really struck a chord with me. Graham was a few days older than me and I respected him growing up and following his career. You both talk about everything in cricket and go off based on many topics, but talk about mental health and real life. At Women's One Day International at Hampshire last summer, mental health cropped up in commentary. It saved me then for some reason I can't explain. I'm disabled and have been assaulted a few times, including this year and this came days before my mother passed away. It's been tough, but cricket in your podcast has just about held me together. Thank you. If there's a chance you could both sort me a picture of you together, I'd appreciate it. You've both made me smile. Don't change who you are and what's got to you and what's got you to where you are now. Thank you. Oh my god, I know exactly who that is. Yes, I know who that is as well. These are always hard because I don't know what to say. Because us being us and so open and honest, like we forget that we're helping people when we talk about when we're not well. Yes, which actually is, we think we pass it on to each other, don't we? We tend to have a week, a week each, but I always really appreciate these kind of emails because there's times where we do this podcast and we get probably get a bit lazy with it. Obviously, we love doing it when we're doing it, but I think these little reminders are how important it can be for other people and how much of an impact it does have. But I also think what we do without blowing our own trumpets, I think what we do well is talk openly and honestly, and that's all we ever encourage anyone to do about their mental health. He's just taught to someone that you trust. Be open, be vulnerable because being vulnerable is basically what gets you to the next step of asking for help. Yeah, and I trust you, which means I trust all our no-bores listeners because that's what we do forget, don't we? Yeah, they get to listen to my problems. And we do go off-piste, we are very sorry about that. Touchwood, Barbie and Tired, I've been mentally well for a long time. Yes, but that is again because you reached out, you went and got help, you saw the right people out and you'd stop playing cricket, which ultimately makes everyone really sad. You're really happy. Now you stopped. I think therapy should be mandatory. Well, I saw recently that actually, you know, used to bring 111 for non-emergency emergencies. 111 is now a mental health helpline. So there is always going to be someone that if you need to speak to in your absolute worst moments, 111 is the number. There's obviously loads of charities out there that can help as well, like the Samaritans and Mind. There's loads and loads and loads. But yeah, 111 is now changed to be a mental health health number. Well, I never. Thank you for teaching me something. I hope that's right. Gosh, let me take that. Just give it a ring. Give it a go. Hi, I'm Kate, cross on the England captain and I'm not well. I'm so tired. I'm so tired. Yes, also dental help. But, so one more one is for help with symptoms for injuries, dental help, mental health help, prescriptions and any other medical conditions. So there you go. There you go. Don't get your teeth in your brain mixed up. It's all the same. If your head hurts, it might be your teeth, it might be your brain. Get it checked out. This is from Mike in Romania, which is rogue. He said maybe. Romania, where the dogs come from, is a bit niche. I'll have to get my own one printed. I don't know what that means, but I'm sure we'll get on to it in a minute. The dog, Phoebe. Yes. Hi, Alex and Kate. In reverse order of appearance on Heather Knight's Christmas card list, it's good to hear other emailers asking about merchandise. No balls branded careings. Oh, did you get your no balls branded careings? I did. Well, I say that word again. No balls branded caring. Caring? Caring. Like a caring. Caring. Caring. That's a caring. No balls branded caring. Caring. What does that end of the word? You got your earrings. That's a caring. So you call that a key ring. It's a key ring. Like because you put your keys on the ring. That is called a key ring. Yeah, I've never thought about it. If I had to spell it like I'm saying it be K-E-R-I-N-G. But also when you've just read this email out and it says K-E-Y, new word R-I-N-G-S key rings. You've still said key rings. What is wrong with me? Who educated you? No balls branded key rings, mugs and t-shirts would sell in bucket loads as would bucket apps. Maybe we could have a competition to come up with logos for t-shirts, pencil cases and phone covers. I've got a couple of ideas all with no balls logo on obviously. It's a nip backer not a tail ender. Good friends go out for meal deals. So your family can listen. I buy stuff even a pencil if you did them. Oh, that's not a that's not a suggestion. I'd buy stuff even a pencil if you did them. Thanks for a brilliant pod. I love it. So there we go. Merchandise. I'm just not sure to be completely honest with you. I do like the not a tail ender because obviously that's quite there's two meanings to that because obviously you call me a tail ender but we aren't the tail enders. So I quite like the not a tail ender. Yeah, but good friends go out for meal deals. That's a good one. Yeah, that is a good one. So your kids can listen. That's classic. Yeah. Phone covers, that'd be a good one. People ask us to sign their phone covers, don't they? Yeah, someone gave us a key ring not so long ago, didn't they? And it was actually great. All right, no, I got a key ring off someone. I got a key ring, sir. I can't believe you just say the wrong, you've just literally gone around for 31 years saying the wrong words. Well, I say Skellington. I say Keering. Keering. Keering. Carolmalized onion. Catamarangh. Catamarangh. Marcus Triscothe. I can say that now. Marcus Triscothek. Yeah, you can actually, well done. This is an education piece more than anything. Practice the practice and it's catamaran. Catamaran. It is. So, well, I've learned a new one, key ring. Keering. Mad. Anyway, if you say things differently or wrong, you should email us on no balls, the cricket podcast. No balls podcast@bbc.co.uk. No balls podcast@bbc.co.uk. You will be one year older and one year wiser next time we do a podcast, Alex. Oh, don't. My brother, I played golfing yesterday. I was like, see on Friday, I was like, what's Friday? He's like, your birthday? I was like, no, it's not. He's like, yeah, it is. I was like, creeps, creeps up on us every year. It's my birthday Friday. One year older. And now you know that the lady's key ring and not Keering. I'm going to go get a toothbrush from reception because I've not brought one. Please get in touch with us. We obviously love hearing your emails and come to Ireland. Oh my god, I forgot. Come to Ireland. I'm there from the 6th to the 10th. Do there, please. Let's do it. England, no balls to Ireland. Yeah, the tail end has gone tour all the time. Let's, no balls gone tour. No balls on tour in Ireland. For everyone that comes on tour, for everyone that goes on tour, Alex will buy you a pint of Guinness, a free pint on arrival. Oh, if you come up to me and say you're a no balls fan, I will get you a beverage of your choice. There we go. Bribery. Let's do it. See you in Ireland, everyone. Bye. And cross strikes in the first over. It's what England we're looking for. Partly balls down the track comes scoring this time chicken x. It's either six or out. It's six. This episode is brought to you by progressive insurance, fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save. Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates, potential savings will vary not available in all states or situations. Hey, I hear you think podcasts are all about true crime, huh? Well, wise guy, the iHeart Radio app's got all kinds of podcasts. We got stuff you should know and stuff they don't want you to know. We got Bobby Bones, Big Boy and Lou Lader. We got SpongeBob, binge pants and exotic erotic story time. We got doe boys, two dudes in the kitchen, green eggs and Dan. Hey, we got Elf Quest. We got podcasts for everything on the iHeart Radio app for free. If you don't download that, well, that's not just a true crime, my friend. That's criminal.