I'm Alex Schul. I'm Sharon Schul, and I'm Willow Schul. Welcome to School of Everything Else. [screaming] Fellas, is it gay to... [music] ♪ I wanna make every woman I see ♪ ♪ I wanna make every woman I see ♪ ♪ Do you know what's the matter with me ♪ ♪ I'm a heterosexual man ♪ ♪ Just a heterosexual man ♪ ♪ I wanna do every woman I know ♪ ♪ I wanna do it to them in their clothes ♪ ♪ I wanna make it with them, don't you know ♪ ♪ I'm a heterosexual man ♪ ♪ It's just a problem with my plans ♪ ♪ I'm a heterosexual man ♪ ♪ I'm a heterosexual man, I'm a heterosexual man ♪ ♪ I'm a heterosexual man, I'm a heterosexual ♪ ♪ I'm a heterosexual man ♪ Welcome to a very special episode of School of Everything Else. This is a thread put together by Discord member Trippas of every single fellas scenario. It has ever been posted on our Discord and there have been a lot. What is a fellas scenario? It feels like most of us will have encountered them in the wild as we doon scroll our way through the doldrums of the misinformation age. Simply put, it is when a man asks other men, if it is in fact gay to do something in particular, or it is when a man and a very cis man at that makes an empirical statement pronouncing something in particular that a man shouldn't do as now the act of a gay man who is de facto not a man in their eyes. Less than a man, smaller than a man, weaker than a man, effeminate. Invariably, these somethings in particular are laughably commonplace and the aversion to them is thus rendered tragicomic as a result. Here are some examples. Is it gay to kiss a girl? I mean, you're literally kissing somebody who likes dick. Fellas, um, is it gay to drink water? I mean, the male body is literally 70% water. You're literally deep throwing another man. Yeah, but how's that water come from the middle of a month? Fellas! Is it gay to look in the mirror? I mean, you're literally checking out a man's body. Fellas! Is it gay to make money? I mean, you're literally collecting pictures of other men. I'm scared. Fellas! Is it gay to masturbate? I mean, you're literally touching a dick. Fellas! Is it gay to see? I mean, you're literally observing in a world with lots of dick. Fellas! Is it gay to be a man? I mean, you're literally walking around with a dick attached to you. Fellas! Is it gay to breathe? I mean, you're literally inhaling dick particles. Fellas! Is it gay to make sense? I mean, you're literally choosing to be in a world with so much dick. I need this to end right now. All credit to the unsung hero of the hour, Dr Blue, for that legendary tirade. My mic sounds nice, check one. My mic sounds nice, check two. My mic sounds nice, check three. My mic sounds nice, check four. My mic sounds nice, check five. My mic sounds nice, check six. My mic sounds nice, check seven. Okay, introduction from TripAss. The following has a list of several examples from the Fellas thread compiled together by the School of Movies Discord users Alejandro Finn Monster, Mighty Greg Doge, self-proclaimed Toby Skills Jungiest Transient Mode Lincoln and myself TripAss. However, given all the varying flavors of stupid found throughout these, each example has been assigned to one of the following sections. One, Fellas. All the different ways people have claimed that something is supposedly gay. Due to this being by far the longest section, it has been further divided into three subsections. 1.1, it's gay to look in a mirror. For all the examples which seem to fall into the stereotypes of what can be considered gay. 1.2, is it gay to kiss a girl? For when being attracted to or having sex with someone of the opposite gender is apparently gay? 1.3, is it gay to breathe? The extensive list of innocuous things which some people consider to be gay. Section two, reverse Fellas, the opposite of the Fellas rule. Either random things which supposedly mean you're straight or things which are most definitely gay, but which some people try to convince themselves actually aren't with the aid of some impressive mental gymnastics. Section three, what is a man? A miserable little pile of statements on how doing or not doing certain things means you're not a man, which ironically are usually said by the kind of people who would adamantly insist that gender is assigned at birth, immutable and obviously not a social construct. At number four, the grand champions, the final bosses on being horrible human beings, and whom I can only assume have dedicated themselves to their dream of being the greatest imbeciles on the planet with the same fervor and dedication of an Olympic athlete. Section one, Fellas, 1.1, is it gay to look in a mirror? Grooms crying as their bride walks down the aisle. There is a trend I think I've only seen it in the last five to six years of grown men crying when they see their bride walking down the aisle. Now this is a woman writing this. I have to say it is extremely gay. Men should not cry at things, it should be reserved for extreme moments of pain, E.G. death. [Laughter] So you're only allowed to cry on your deathbed unless the bride drops dead in the aisle. No tears. No tears, you gay bow. [Laughter] Okay, and Mega should know she has a blue check mark. Okay, using skincare. If you're a grown man with a skincare routine, you might be gay, I don't make the rules. You also might be ashy as shit! Oh my god, being a thoughtful and nurturing boyfriend. Dear Amy, my daughter Lauren is in her early 30s and has had a handful of long-term serious relationships over the years with young men. These relationships didn't work out for various reasons. Recently, she met a guy online. She fell for him instantly, and he for her. She says she's never met someone so thoughtful and that he is unlike anyone she's ever met before. He brings her flowers each week, calls for her, makes lunch for her to take to work. With little notes inside, buys her little gifts, etc. I think I know where this is going. Is this boy, this boy getting together with your girl, actually a gay? There is a difference between homosexual and male-wife. Joking me, I said. Joking me, I said he's so thoughtful and nurturing. He sounds like a woman, just like me. Okay. Oh, that's a mother. Ooh, ooh, ooh, you don't need to be a female to be nurturing. After meeting and spending an evening out with them, I can't help feeling he may not be totally heterosexual. He seems like a nice enough person, but he exhibits more female womanly characteristics and mannerisms, acting more like a girlfriend than a boyfriend. You mean to tell me that every single male partner you have ever had was a giant piece of shit? If he doesn't blow his nose on the curtains, he's a gay. Okay. He has recently changed his first name and has also removed all traces of social media online, so there are no pictures or other clues into his past relationships or live before meeting my daughter. I hate to have her hurt or deceived again. I would never volunteer my suspicions to her unless she asked, but my intention is rarely wrong. Intuition is rarely wrong. It's a woman's intuition. You don't know what gay people do. So far, the majority of posters here have been ladies. Yeah, it's two out of three. Three out of four, because I'm the fourth one. This man tested me, thank you for showing me what it feels like to be loved. I can't wait to make you my wife someday. It's gay shit like that that makes me want to cheat. Then another lady, man pouring his heart out and you're calling it gay, woman man. It is gay. Man, men should never feel love. That's a female trait. This is why straight people are so fucked up, because they think that love is only for the female. We should love, not fall in love, because everything that falls get broken. Okay, so there's a beautiful image of a sunset. I'm straight, but that's incredible. Apparently, only gay people have eyes. No, it's pan lighting. That's incredible. That's true, actually. Your husband is probably gay if he does dishes. That's a lady again. You probably have horrible back pains, lady. Okay, so that's four out of six, so far. Also another check mark, which I'm willing to bet was paid for. Almost definitely. See a lot of these, I'm reading them and I'm thinking that feels body. Here's a guy. Getting of a sec to me is gay. No more kisses in response to. No more kids for me. My wife had the jokes when I got home from the doctor today. Right, okay. So the kids got him and they stuck little notes on them. Oh my God. Donuts. Now, no nuts. Swedish fish. So long swimmers. Oh my God. Snips, snip, hooray, written on a cake in icing, and two little gingerbread men. I think with no balls. Unlimited cream. Oh no, sorry. Yeah. Anyway, no more sour babies. Yeah, no more sour babies. Shooting duds. Yep, it's a milk duds. Captain Crunch berries. Something about crunching his berries, one would imagine. Yeah, your berries got crunch. I'm just amazed at unlimited cream pies, Jesus Christ. Beautiful. I've never seen more artistic creation. Pray, they don't know what that means. Pink Floyd, using the rainbow from dark side of the moon. You do this one. Oh my God. Pink Floyd updated their profile picture to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the dark side of the moon and the replies are something. Oh my God. Right. Bear in mind, folks. There's a rainbow on the front cover of this album and it was there 50 years ago before this became the rainbow symbol of pride. Yeah. Through the triangle. Wild Bill says. Oh my God. Michael Roper says, what's up with the rainbow? Wild Bill says, lose the rainbow. You're making yourself look stupid with a hand-palming face emoji. What is that? Pink Floyd? What a disgrace. From this moment, I don't listen to this band. Are you going woke with the rainbows? Is there a straight flag? I want equal representation. Don't get me wrong. We should all be true to who we are. Peace. OK. If it was a straight flag, it would just be black and white. Yeah. Do you understand that, sir? Do you understand if they put a straight flag on their thing? Nobody would think anything of it because a straight flag is black and white lines. They'd go, why has the Pink Floyd album cover gone monochrome? But why would Pink Floyd be like straight pride? That's what we're suddenly about, 50 years on. OK, is it gay to kiss a girl? Being attracted to tomboys, any man that finds tomboys attractive is gay. Specifically gay. Maybe they didn't want to get blocked for saying gay? Gay! Gay! Gay! Gay! So if you like, just to check, you kind of like men who have a few more kind of like feminine traits. And a little bit more towards the middle. And you like women who maybe have like firmer chins, part of this new chin agenda. I like bi men and tomboy girls. There you go. Beautiful. OK. Oh, that guy. Right, so Sharon, you're going to have to play this person sad. Right. With a blue check mark. Tomboys are not hot. I repeat, tomboys are not hot. Attraction to tomboys is homosexuality. And women shouldn't be working outside. What kind of man lets his woman work outside like a man? Oh, OK. There's so many things to unpack here. Number one. Male attraction to tomboys is not. In fact, homosexuality. Now this is a redesign in context. They thought people might want to know that it's beautiful. Did you find this helpful? I did. Also, just as like a general statement, like people who live out in the country and just have daughters, they're going to need people to help them. They're not going to just leave them inside to do the dishes because that's what the womanly thing is. There's a really muscular lady doing a little strike of pose and sort of like flexing an arm, Sharon. Again, extremely gorgeous. And she's obviously worked very hard for it. Yeah. Nice taps. According to Reese, Reese the bra will at least be telling on himself. This is a scyop to make you gay. Muscle mommy fetish is literally homosexuality. First it was the Vax. Then they got TikTok brain kids to goon over these women. If you have ever found yourself attracted to this, you desperately need to raise your test levels. She can raise my test levels. You haven't touched a woman ever. Okay, will I just for you being attracted to tall women? Joe Cat is so lovely. He is such a nice guy. Okay, this is specifically from Joe Cat as the first tweet. Maybe I can push through the performance problems responding to whoever modelled these female body types in Pokemon, Scarlet and Violet. I love you. And it's, oh, it's examples of Pokemon, Scarlet and Violet's, like, muscular, buff, built tall ladies. And then, statue-esque. A lot of big bars. Someone responded, "You are the only man on earth who could possibly make liking women gay." Fellas. Fellas, is it gay to be attracted to women who happen to have muscles? Being attracted to, oh, fucking hell. These women are gorgeous. Mm-hmm. Okay, so it's like a lady in some very ripped jeans. I mean, these would be ripped jeans at the early '90s would say, "Take them away, they're too ripped." And so she, like, she's got- She's ripped on all her abs. That is an eight-pack. If you're attracted to her, says "Bizlet" with a blue checkmark and an anime avatar. I'm seeing a pattern. You're a latent homosexual. Sorry, I don't make the rules. This is... Oh. What are the rules? Who does make the rules? I don't know. The rules are straight or gay. And if you're a woman, you're gay. Yep. Apparently that's it. Mm-hmm. Okay, wanting a strong woman is a sign of homosexuality. Any masculine man wants a submissive woman. I don't know what to tell you. There are so many masculine men who would definitely not say no to masculine women. Finding twerking attractive. See if you can spot a racist dog whistle in here. Do men even find twerking attractive, says Brittany Venti? Oh, my God. Becky, look at her butt. It is so big. And according to Larry O'Connor, checkmark, not straight men. Mm-hmm. When... What if a girl walks in with a itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face? You get sprung. Wanna pull up? 'Cause you notice that, but you're stuck. Deep in a genius, he's wearing. I'm hooked and I can't stop staring. Oh, baby, I wanna get whipped out. Buying a Valentine's gift for your wife in advance. It's gay to love your wife. The performative sexuality of Matt Walsh. 97% of us are buying the Valentine's Day gift on the way home from work on February 14th, but buying Valentine's Day gift for your wife a month early is the gayest thing you could do. Don't do that, because if it's January 3rd and you tell your wife, "I've got your Valentine's gift already." She's going to say, "So you're gay." Well, that kind of ruins Valentine's Day, doesn't it? Right, wing grifter, Matt Walsh. Okay, um, this is... I'm starting to gather why men put so little effort into everything. 'Cause effort is gay. You are okay to put effort and love and care into people without seeming weird or gay or, like, it's too much. Just be yourself. Be loving. Be gentle. Don't push things too hard. Don't try to pretend you're something you're not. If you are gay, who the fuck cares? I think we're going to need to have a rousing sing along of "I'm Not Gay." But if I was, I would marry who I was. Discrimination. It ain't right. I'm not gay, but if I was, I would want equal rights. I'm not gay, but if I were, I would marry who I'd like. It's not fair. I'm not gay, but the government has to say. And who can love who not gay or to which God you can pray on a gay? It gets me so angry. On behalf of them, I feel passionate, not gay. So I pray for them, and I say for them. We need to make a change, not gay. I see it clear as day. This area is not great, kitties. We need a quality and for all to see that this is the new way, not gay. Just seems not gay, wrong, not gay. Then no one seems to care sports. We can't continue to pretend. There's not gay madness. Has to end the game. I was born this way. Straight. You were born your way. Gay. Straight, straight, gay, and solid. Gay. Sure. I'm not making changes. Just time to stop the hate. All who you are is beautiful. Not gay. We can't live this way. We gay. We can't turn away. Nigay. And so I make this vow. Titties, the time for changes now. Sports. Lying in bed next to ten. Beautiful girls all straight. And while I'm made love to everyone and them, I was thinking about the world. High wings. How is it that I can't have so much. Dudes are oppressed. Not gay. Having sex. Not gay. Putting on a wedding dress I assume. I don't really know that much about it. Beef jerky tastes good. Politics are important. And if girls want to have sex with me. Cause I said this, so be it. And gay. I'm not a hero. I'm just speaking the truth. I'm not a hero. Don't call me a hero. Be your hoey sweatpants. Not gay. Yeah. Not a hero. Titties, not gay. I'm not a hero. I'm not a hero. I'm not a person. So don't call me a hero. Not some kind of world leader. Not just one equal guy. Yeah. In a sleeping guy. Yeah. Next to a girl. Two love trumps all predator. Flying kicks, not gay. Big watch. Not gay. Missionary one love. Gym socks, none chucking not gay. Light a fluid HD. Ninja World Peace 4. Wheel drive. Gay mirrors, love beat. Free love golf, love two guys. Not gay. Rainbow muffive. Harvey Milk Chonke. Not gay. Drum solo court side. C-6-x. One arm push-ups. Lintered. Skin nerd. I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I'm straight. You are born young. 'Cause you can't get straight straight straight. And now it's time for sexual freedom for all. Sexual freedom for all. Sexual freedom for all. Sexual freedom for all. Sexual freedom for all. Sexual freedom for all. Not gay. Okay. Sharon. Okay, so Owen Benjamin. Blue check mark. Blue check mark. This is with regards to Taylor Swift. Why would a rich famous guy marry a 34 year old woman? If you started immediately, you might be able to have two kids. And she's publicly had sex with a ton of guys. Publicly. Despite her wealth, she's very low quality for any successful male. Dude, this woman moved the needle on the American economy. Shut up. Oh my God. Just seems weird and almost like he's a gay guy. Why would a successful man want a middle-aged or middle-aged 34? Would you get bent? My parents know he wouldn't. Is he? Could it be? Because he's gay? Okay. Famous footballer, Taylor Swift's husband. I cannot get over some people's mindsets that, like, having had sex before lowers your quality. Like, nah, nah, nah. For every new d**k that enters her, she ages six months more. Meaning the more d**ks that enter her, the more older she gets. That explains why some females in their early twenties don't even look their age. They look like they're in their late twenties to early thirties. Women in their twenties? Women in their late twenties? There's no way that this person actually exists with these thoughts in their head. This sounds like something that people would have said during the Salem witch trials. For every new d**k that doth enter a woman, she gains a new evil power. Jedidiah, is this because I called you short? She must face trial again. I will now lie to you on fire. If you catch flame, you're guilty. What if I don't catch flame? Then that is an evil power and you're guilty. That seems fair. Will I put your hands over your ears? From the Revorendo Daniel Solcedo. Don't look at it. Sitting on his face, riding cowgirl and any other sex position with the girl on top are acts of homo gay. The homo gay. The man of humour. The man of humour. A submissive sex position falls into homo gay activities and reciprocally the woman assuming a dominant position falls into lesbians. You don't fall when you're in a dominant position. What you do if you haven't got a really good grip. You dip the muscles go in your face. Oh my lord. Anyway. Andrew Tate. Andrew Tate. Oh! How? How? How is the face of the woman? How have you managed to avoid this list so far? Blue check mark check. Prison in Romania? Shit. Right. I don't know how Andrew Tate is, but I'm going to make sure that his voice sounds like this. Right. Sex is for making children. Any man who has sex with women because it feels good is gay. Oh my pee pee feels so good. This is great. In fact, if you are 4e with less than 5 children, you're probably gay. All that feel good pee pee sex and he keeps talking about pee pee sex. Can you not say the word Andrew? If you can't say it, you're not allowed to do it. I googled pee pee sex and your name came up. Hardly and you have hardly any genetic legacy. I don't know why I've suddenly gone to. I know I don't know how many children Andrew Tate has, but I can tell you that 4e is hoeving over the horizon towards him. Also. Also. And why TT? And then there's this log in the app where you can see what she thought was important enough to write down. I love learning about Andrew Tate. This is and this is andway TT. This is andway TT. Okay, so, blivant. Y'all, this boy had sex with me for like a long-ass time and I was turned off. Instantly thought he was gay. What's the little devil sign? Cause she's like a brat stall with a devil sign meaning she's a naughty girl, but only naughty for like 2 minutes. That's like what she's put on her neck. Any more than that? Kind of gay. Also, having sex for a long time doesn't automatically make it good. Sometimes it just makes it boring. Yeah. Every time someone posted one of these, usually on our bad reviews against humanity, thread which gets most traffic every day. Cause there's no shortage of dim wits on the internet blurting out shit like this. Andway TT is constantly posting, even from his business. But every time someone posts one of these, we all just chime in fellas. Fellas. It's just like this chorus now. So Laid says, ladle's power. Any man who has obscene amount of sex with a high number of women consistently over years is a potential undercover gay man. Being an info/deviant is the gateway to homosexuality. It's why a lot of these rappers are gay. Eventually you get so tired of vaginas, you begin to invert a comma's "explore". You're using the word "explore" correctly. You don't need to put in a sentence. That is correct. Although you've neglected to put a full stop. Docking your points for that one Laid. Flame and Hot Cheetos Rasp. It was inevitable that somehow one was eventually going to tweet having sex with women is low key kind of gay. Look what he's doing with his hands. Gating women is gay. Okay. I don't make the woo. Girl, I wanna take you to a gay bar. I wanna take you to a gay bar. I wanna take you to a gay bar. Gay bar, gay bar. Let's start a war. Start a nuclear war. Let's say gay bar, gay bar, gay bar. Section 1.3, is it gay to breathe? Oh no. When I see two men going to get breakfast together, I automatically assume they gay. Lameo. Like, why are you all up so early and together? Kissing the homies goodnight. It has been normalised. All of you can shut up. Men can have friends. Men can experience- Men can have breakfast. People, Denny's going, will you shut up? That's half of our demographic. Going to the movies with your family. Will. Oh, it's another advertising. Our boy is back. Just looking at the profile picture, is he wearing, like, half of a vest? Like a little, a baby cowboy vest? He ripped out of it. He's just so strong. No, it's not a sized fall, don't question it. I have never seen Western world leaders speak about going to the movies before. However, the Satanist, the men that you publicly sacrificed any remnant of masculinity to the, to the homosexual mafia. It's cool. Hey, forget about it. We're at the homosexual gay mafia. It's- It's- Those are really good pumps. Let me just tell you. The rainbow mafia. We called it first, do? The overlords want your soul. They also want you to tell the world that they own you. This is a pair of guys going to see- Okay, so this is Justin Trudeau, who is the Prime Minister, stroke president of- Of Canada. Yep, going to see Barbie. Is that his son? Or his friend? Or his friend, either way, the quote is "We're Team Barb." Oh my God, is that where she sued us? She sued us in ex-Prime Minister. Could only say that today. With his wife and kids going to see Barbie. The family vote was only ever going one way. Barbie first, it is. Barb and Jaime, that is not a- that's- that's not swell. But, you know, go for them. Go for them for watching the most popular film. Well, miss you. Wish you sooner. That's a complete lie. We won't. Drinking Bud Light. The point won't be made until the Bud Light brand is discontinued. If you still drink it at this point, you are signaling that you are queer. And it's two little stick men, one's rainbow and the other's America. And the America is kicking stick man rainbow in the Gables. The Gables. The Clark Gables. The very known Gables. Like Vera's gay, apparently. Okay. Oh my God. So this is in response to an image of Batman and Superman high-fiving under the image of the Earth. Awesome. LGBTQ+ in DC. How very post-modern. Fellas. Pink. Cryptonite. Yeah. It's- it's high-fiving. Do you want them to be half-naked, sweaty, rolling around in the mud, grinding against each other and flapping each other's hands? Sure. Okay. Oh my. 23 years old. So that means she is 23 and female. Husband 24M, which is 24 and male, thinks our son is gay when he's only a year old. Oh my God. Some of the reasons now she is using inverted colors correctly, I will point out. We are on the wife's side. He thinks our son is gay. He loves when the light shines through the window in a way that makes rainbows on the floor. He's warm. He likes light, Patton. Babies like pretty colors. He was curious about my makeup and has tried to take my lipstick and eyeliner. It reminds him of Crayons. Babies like pretty colors. He generally prefers me to my husband. So do we, lady. So do we, lady. Also, he's one, a one-year-old being more connected to their mother is not unusual. Well, then their severely homophobic father. Yeah. Who already hates them. He likes to help me peel bananas all the time my husband saw him mouth the tip of it. He got angry at me for letting him do something that looks sexual. You're fucked up. You're fucked up for immediately going to- oh, the baby's sucking a dick. It's a banana. You fucking Christ. His favourite thing to do outside right now is look at the flowers that are blooming and touch them. Babies like pretty colors. My husband thinks he likes books too much for a boy. Okay, so I guess all the male librarians out there are just immediately- It's okay to read books as long as they are Andrew Tate's biography or a book on guns. There is also a book when you're done with it. There is also a character in one of the books that my son always points and smiles at because he has bright orange hair, son's favourite color, but my husband thinks he has a crush on the character. I don't even know what to say to that. Listen, Pennywise is not someone for your baby to fancy. Oh my God. Okay, wait. Oh, being environmentally friendly is the title for this one. Men less likely to recycle because they are worried people will think they're gay. Scientists say measures to save the environment are often seen as typically feminine things to do. Welcome to the electric car of the future, sponsored by the gatoline producers of America. Hello, I'm an electric car. I can't go very fast or very far, and if you drive me, people will think you're gay. One out of half. One out of half. I mean, I honestly want to do a whole show about how when Epcot started in the very early 80s, they allowed, like, you know, how we get our energy to be sponsored by the gatoline industry. How are we going to go into the future, Epcot, if these are the custodians? Is that why people don't fix their cars when the mufflers are falling off and they make horrendous hideous noises? Oh, okay. Right. This is another lady, so, Sharon, if you would. Okay, my 23F boyfriend, 29M, hate that I wear boxers to bed. Oh, Christ. We've been together three months. That's cute, by the way. My sleepwear consists entirely of tank tops and underwear. It's bigger than mine. I have underwear for during the day and for dates, which is primarily small and lacy, and then I've got women's briefs and men's boxes, usually a cotton blend for sleeping. They're really comfy and really big. I don't think they're ugly, they're just not very cute. Boxers are cute. Boxers on girls are cute. That's what I said. My boyfriend slept over last night and I went to get dressed for bed and as I pull out the briefs he goes, "Do you have to wear those?" So I pull out the boxes. He says that's worse and asks if I can wear some of my nice underwear to bed. I tell him that wearing lace all day and then overnight and again the following day is how you get yeast infections. And he asks why I had to mention yeast infection. He also asks, "What's a yeast infection?" You started it. I put them on and go to get into bed and he asks me to take them off. Not for sex, but just so I'm not wearing boxes to bed. I ask him what the big deal is and he says, "Forgive me for wanting to find you attractive." I don't know what to say to that, but he rolls over straight to sleep, no cuddling. This morning I wake him, we kiss, I'm thinking it'll lead to sex. Why would you want it to at this point? But he touches my boxes, stops, gets dressed and leaves. This is starting to affect my self-esteem just a bit. I'm only wearing them because they're comfortable and I don't want to buy all new stuff. This is apparently a real turn off for him and it's causing problems. What do I do to fix this issue without completely caving? You throw out the whole man. Is what you do. Okay. TLDR, boyfriend hates me wearing boxes to bed, wants me to wear my regular underwear to bed and says boxes are a turn off. I like wearing them and don't want to buy new sleep wear. Is there a compromise that doesn't involve me sleeping with my R sound? Update, texted and asked, he thinks it's gay as a bisexual woman. Oh, she's even better. I cannot see an alternative to breaking up right now. I agree. Edit, he is not gay or bi or otherwise experiencing internalised homophobia. 99% of homophobes are straight, he is within that 99%. This is not glee. Girl, I'm just glad you found it quick. What would have happened if you wore leggings to bed? I was like, there are actual like flower patterned pajama sets that you can get that have like little boxes. Will this one for you? Did Finn post this one? Maybe. Is it weird if a man owns a rabbit? Is it gay? Yes, rabbits are gay animals. Rabbits are notorious for their f***ing... Jesus. For their heterosexual humping father, straight f***ing father. Yeah, moving the f*** up. They really are. Oh my god. Rabbits are not gay animals. Pat asks. This is a gay for a man to own a cat. Okay. Yes, yes, it's very gay. Oh my god. Nope, nope. Okay. If you don't play Duke Nukem 3D, you like men. So as a gentleman, I am going to send you to Mr. Gianni Matrigano. He is the funniest dude I've found on YouTube. And he does a really good Duke Nukem impression and he is so great. Can't get some gay, man. That is the actual Duke Nukem advert, though, by the looks of things. So I think it's taking... Yeah, that's 3D Realms. It's a s*** ad. From the 90s. Oh, my lord. Check mark again. Dr. Hadie H. Hadie H. D. If you can't afford flying first class with a girl, then don't go on holiday with her. Flying economy with your girl is gay. Yay. We both know once she passes next to the first class aisle, she's going to be eyeballing any male she finds there wishing she was with him. Get back to work. How? I mean, again, that's saying the quiet part loud. That's saying I'm so utterly terrified that my woman will find any other man gay. So by the way, that woman there with her nails, definitely straight, just so everyone knows. It's all right. Yeah, also... They're lovely nails, but she is straight as Nixon. It's not my woman, it's my female. You know that man does not use the correct. Oh, I'm going to say this one. This is exactly why some dudes be turning gay. It's cool to show your son how to be a man, but in some ways you've got to hate your pops a little bit. When someone shows you affection, you start to love them. Your son might see something in you that makes him like men. All it take is heartbreak or the wrong femme. Okay. Honey. Hmm. Hun. Be cruel to your son. Tell me you have daddy issues without telling me you have daddy issues. Be cruel to your son or he'll be gay. Does this mean that mothers have to be cruel to their daughters or else they'll become lesbianisms? Monique Worthy, blue check mark. Oh my God. If your husband does not vote Republican, you're in a lesbian ship. Again, not what that word means. You're married to a puss. What man wants someone else providing for his home? We've already established that having a cat is gay. So if you're a puss, then you're double gay. Oh my God. A puss with a puss. Wait, what's the situation for if it's a married couple who own a cat? Is it only gay for the dude? He's got to leave the dude. Just leave him. Come on, puss. Let's go look for puss because he's that guy. Come on, puss. Let's avoid you as much as possible. Puss in kinky boots. Okay. What man wants someone else raising their child? That's your girlfriend. So go get a real man, sis. Hashtag, date, marry and bed a Republican. Ugh. No, even if you paid me. Oh, you know all those Republicans are the best in bed. They've invented the one pump orgasm. On-side, into. Is it gay for a man to tell another man good morning? No. Is it gay for a man to tell another man good morning? I'm a 23 year old male. My dad and I were out in the laundry mat, and as we were leaving, another man walks in. I make eye contact with him and say, "Good morning." He replies, "Yeah, our fellas are all right." We walked out, my father tells me. Don't you ever say good morning to a man around your age? Guys would think you're a little sweet. You understand me? Next time, say, "What up?" Or, "What's going on?" To a woman, it's fine, but not a man. When you're out in the streets, don't say that. You understand me? Voga! I don't understand this at all. Was it ever gay or wrong for a man to say good morning to another man? I say good morning to everyone. Male and female at work all the time and have no issues. I don't think I did anything wrong. I think my dad is being absurd. Is gay for a man to tell another man good morning? Your dad is being absurd. Can we play a clip of? When the man began to play, the stars weren't shining bright. Now the milkman's on his way, it's too late to say good night. Good night, good morning, good morning. Stung and being, 'cause those five do good morning. Good morning to you and you and you. Stung is as with "hi." Oh, it's mega again! Oh, she's great. Imagine the embarrassment if your husband publicly makes a statement that begins with the word, "hi!" Our society is so gay. What is... Is that the statement, "hi!" our society is so gay. You can't say good morning. You can't say, "hi!" Just be silent like a good man. Is it gay to greet people at all? Mansu's apple claiming iPhone turned him gay. Oh my God! A Russian man? Oh, oh, oh, oh. As launched a lawsuit against apple claiming his iPhone turned him gay, he says this comes often into an involving gay coin, cryptocurrency. In a suit filed on the 20th of September, it has claimed a cryptocurrency called gay coin was delivered via a smartphone app rather than the Bitcoin that he had ordered. He was like, "Oh, I want some Bitcoin. What? No, I don't want gay coin!" Cryptocurrency is basically virtual money, like an online version of cash, and Bitcoin and gay coin are some of those currencies. According to the complaint, the gay coin cryptocurrency arrived with a note saying, "Don't judge, tell you try it." I thought in truth, "How can I judge something without trying?" I decided to try some same sex relationships, the complainant wrote. That's not what they said. That's not what they meant at all! Don't judge until you try Bitcoin. That's what they meant. Sir, that is what they meant. You cannot blame gay coin for wanting to try some gay relationships. Someone sells you sweet corn and says, "Don't judge until you try." They don't mean to see a virus! They mean eat it. Fellas. Is it gay to stick giant cobs of corn up your ass? Apparently, that's what they were using for toilet paper a while back. Now I have a boyfriend. I do not know how to explain this to my parents. They're escalated so fast! Now I have a boyfriend, and it's your fault. I feel bad for them. I have a boyfriend because I'm prom. It's because of the pink pound, isn't it? He adds that his life has been changed for the worst, and he will never become normal again. Apple pushed him towards homosexuality through manipulation, he claims. The changes of, remember this is from Russia, where certain leaders push an anti-homosexuality agenda hard in terrifying ways. The changes have caused me moral and mental harm. Safiat Guznavi says the company has a responsibility for their programs, despite the alleged exchange taking place on a third-party app. A legit. The court will hear the complaint on the 70th of October, according to the informant on his website. Apple has not yet responded to the newsbeats request for comment. Probably because they haven't quit. So pates! Got laughing, yeah. All right, spring breakers, you know what time it is. I'm gonna need all the hard girls to come up to the stage right now. Fellas, let me hear you make some noise! Power! Spring breakers! Chings of the bossy, pounding on bruises, banging chicks right there in the sand. Crows before hoes and chicks with no clothes in. Slimming shots and merry a man. Who want to do a shot? We do! I'm gonna get fucked up! Me too! We came for a week, beat the kings of the bees, label it on the girls. He's sure she through! Can't coo! Party down! Mudder down! Enroll the ramp! Have a zoom! Crack a boom! Merry a man! Brace when you pass out jokes about rupees, making girls kiss merry a man. Giant sombrero show, what you did eat. Pre-a-teen shakes, merry a man! Spring breakers! Oh shit! I'm goofing up! You can rally! Got some stuff! Booze, crew! Basic glass! Sort that cup of glass! Two chicks, that's a dance hall! Take it, move the damn stalls! Spray these beads for their bra! So go in like candy! Got girls doin' on a javeline! Two men bound by the law! Trash in motel, hooves clogging up toilets! Fear goggles if she's a hack! Planning the menu, picking out flowers! Nailing sluts and riding our bowels! Down here in our time! Great breakers! Let's get butt, butt, butt! Then find Mr. Right! And get monot! Go! Run in our end-life on desert to some! Something tasteful, but not to plan! Seating arrangements, charming the ill-laws! Gribbin' beer ball sex with a man! We'll be so happy, true love forever! Two kings walking hand in hand! Promise to cherish, trust and respect him! Crush and pussy, merry a man! Spring! Spring! Spring! Okay folks, we are now in the realm of the absurd. If you've got a coat on, you are gay. No grown-ass man should be bundled up. You feel the cold straight! As we know, getting a cold or getting the flu is correlated. It's very messy again. Sharon, do you wanna... Miss some misinformation from a blue check? Okay, Alex Clark tells us the birth control pill can falsely make women feel bisexual. Right! Is there any grounding to that? I'm assuming. I am assuming... no, by the way, there is no grounding to that. I am assuming that the rational kind that is the assumption that the birth control pill is giving you a dose of masculine hormones. In fact, what the birth control pill does is give you extra dose of female hormones. Estrogen and progesterone, folks. The pregnancy hormones. It convinces your body you're already pregnant. Why that would make you want to sleep with women, I don't know. Well, you're like, "I'm already pregnant, I need to do any of that." But, you know, these women are right here. And I would support this particular, especially in light of all of this shit, I would support this endeavor. Yeah, this is the kind of thing that makes you feel very, very bad for straight women. Okay. So, Will, you wanna go over there? Okay, so... This guy has put up a gorgeous looking birthday dinner of crab legs and... Corn cobs? I think that's like a cornbread of some kind with some broccoli and cheese. It looks delicious. It does look pretty damn good. And we have anime eraser saying, "See food, it's food for women, but happy birthday. Why don't you just not talk? Why not just not? Like, why not just say happy birthday?" I mean, I can think of a better response to that particular dinner, which is that it looks like Cthulhu is crawling out of your food. Yeah, it does look like a monster's emerging from his plate. But, you know, if you like surf and turf, that's fine. Absolutely. "See food is for everybody." Just walked out on a date, he ordered pasta. TF, if you're gay, why are you dating a woman? No straight man would eat pasta. Fellas, is it gay to eat pasta? Is it gay to be Italian? Editors know I'm having lunch right now. It's not intentional at all, but it's on my job. Pasta! Oh, it's gay! Okay, so, uh, section two, reverse fellas. As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a reverse fella. From Sasha Stone at Awards Daily Blue Checkmark, nearly every major best picture contender focuses on a gay character, or is gay themed in some way, which is quite a challenge from the stake-eaters of old. Is that because people are suddenly interested in these stories, because activists have demanded it. Patch Zircher says a lot of superheroes are very metrosexual lately. It's 2022, Patch. Nobody is metrosexual. That's very true. Well, what was metrosexual? Explain to Will. Okay, so, um, in the late '90s, early 2000s? Early 2000s, yeah. Early 2000s. The term "metrosexual" came about, which is guys who wash themselves, get their hair- Gay. Gay. Or diet, or, you know, otherwise groom themselves and dress well. Dress well, gay. And the idea was that there was some strange reason they were doing it in order to attract women. So you couldn't really call them gay. So they came up with the term "metrosexual" implying a soft-handed city boy. You know, I'd say this was a double standard, but it's actually just a standard. If you look after, if you look after your body in any way possible, you are doing it for the opposite gender. That's for women or men. And also that falls into the, like, my boyfriend doesn't wipe good because he thinks it's gay to touches, but how do I tell him to wash his ass? No, no, no, you leave him. Yeah, you leave him. He has not been correctly toilet trained. You leave him. You go on a trip to the swamp, weird. That's a job his parents should have completed. It is not yours. Get you to the Everglades, go on an airboat, and then drop kick that son of a bitch into the mouth of a waiting gator. And I'm pretty sure the gator will spit him out. That's too swampy. Lady, did you accidentally marry the bear? Okay. It's important to practice good hygiene. At least if you want to run with my team. I'm about to get into some shit that I've seen. This fool's breath from his own battle, 'bout your ice cream. They said I'll say nothing if you can't say nice things. Sitting too close, we have a boy like my ice thing. I tried to be subtle. Hand him a stick of gum. I was a victim of breath horn thumb. Running his yap about what said he from. Gotta get some gum, gotta get him some. He turned it down. His teeth was brown. Extrusioning boring. It was a nuisance station. I had to ask the doctor to pass the soap. 'Cause his tone had the steps across stations. Her bathrooms in the bus station. He had a can of only and some raisins. Amazing. Had the tobeo. He didn't know. Used to the fragrance. 'Cause as the days went without babin. He felt manly and not like a maiden. He had one dread. And fungus. Said he worked on people's toilets. With plungers. Girls, not the guy. You were worth a tongue, yeah. So guys take your cue from this little number. You gotta watch your ass. You must have got a watch your ass. You must have got a watch your ass. You must have got a watch your tee. You must have got a watch your ass. You must have got a watch your ass. You must have got a watch your ass. You must have got a watch your ass. You must have got a watch your tee. You must have got a watch your ass. You must have got a watch your ass. Right, in response to that. I mean, that makes sense, though, right? Super heroes have always been about flash and style. Right now, queer culture is big on glitz and glam, as well as growing in acceptance within our society. It's 2022. Oh, but it goes on. No, it doesn't particularly make sense. Here is a very physical, they punch stuff. More or less, diametrically, the opposite of queer culture. I wonder about sales. Queer culture books don't rank so high in sales. I think it's an attempt of pleasing everyone, which no one can do. It might just be that queer culture is a small subsection of regular culture and actually they don't present anyone with danger. They just have special interests. And they have high sales within their own demographic. If you're not interested in it, don't engage with it. You don't have to. Also, I'm pulling an arm actually here. Is it Wonder Woman? Like, isn't there an entire comic series about her and Chitara having by aggression? Wonder Woman for Thundercats? Wonder Woman has been sapphic since day one. Yeah. She was literally born on the Isle of Lesbos, then drafted to Themyscira, but we know that. And she punches people all the time, especially dicks like this. Yes, she does. Okay. Initiative is also the densest part of Dungeons and Dragons. It uses the most math and has the most moving parts since both the attacker and the target are involved. The most rules heavy questions also pop up during the fight. If someone can easily explain sneak attack to me, I will give them $100. Leading on the default mechanics of initiative and frighten and fighting runs the risk of alienating listeners new to D&D and listeners that show up for the role-playing aspects of the game and the intricate rules of combat are frequently used as gatekeeping complex puzzles, misused to keep out women, players of color, the LGBTQ+ community and more. They can't deal with basic math. For the sake of context, initiative is just turn order. At the start of combat, everyone welds a D20, adds their dexterity modifier to it and that determination is what order everyone gets to take their turn. If you are trying to make the statement that LGBTQ people or people of color don't belong in D&D, that is a losing battle. I think this person is trying to say that they do and that the complex rules of the game are misused to keep them out, but they are heavily implying that these groups of people don't understand the context of the initiative role. You can't do math gay, man. You're right. All those numbers. Here is the thing that bothers me. Bridget is obviously not trans. Oh, this is about that fucking fighting game. Like, well done to that fighting game. Is it Guilty Gear Strive, created a trans character? And it's like, one. The trans folks get one and just the amount of man. You gave one to a minority group who would feel a bit better from you doing that. No, it wasn't made for me. Okay, I will say here, this person is correct but in a wrong way. Like, you can have they/them pronouns and still be a woman, but they're still ignoring the fact that it is a trans character. Yeah, also, the implication is that they want to be called by different pronouns but don't want to admit that they might be. Sharon, do you want to? So, you're straight but looking for gay sex? It's not gay to top, lol. Oh, my sweet child, you are so deep in denial. You are so deep, you are deeper than you have ever gone. His name is 20 centimetres straight top, I don't think he's that deep. Do you want to know why you put it in centimetres? Axel from Streets of Rage 4 isn't Manly. He's the most manly he's ever been. He's got a beard. He's kind of, like, swelled with middle age. Is it just because he has a daughter? Tough as hell. Axel looks different. Even his stance looks feminine. His clothes and the way he looks, you can clearly see that he got the anode 2010-2020 feminine popular man thing. It isn't really aerodynamic or handy to fight with a piece of cloth wrapped, belted around your waist. As much as I love Streets of Rage 1 to 3 and an remake, I'm scared and skeptic about this one. I'm scared. The greatest brawler of all time, as it turned out. Also, fight it like with a piece of cloth wrapped, belted around your waist. It's his shirt. That is a look from 1994. Yeah, it's set in the 90s, the late 90s. That's Axel, OK. Does Axel have a jack? My Christ. As much as I love Streets of Rage 1 to 3 and remake, that's a fan-made version which kind of mega mixes all the previous games. I'm scared and skeptic of this one. The fights seem too easy. It's a bash-mash festival. I don't have to play it to know it. I don't have to play it. You don't have to at all. But it's the greatest thing in brawler of all time. I already have a huge buyer's backers' remorse with Shenmue III. That game is horrible. 42 hours of gameplay to get 10 minutes of story. Huge grind indeed. Wine and buns. This person is insane. I'm looking at the pictures of him now. They're trying to call this in an odd way. They're framing it way too complicated. They're calling it, like, "Twink death" or "Jock death" or whatever. He is the buffest, hairiest dude I have ever seen. Yeah, Axel's gone bear-shaped. That is a grumpy dill. On top of it, the game has altered sacrifice too much to look and fit in this era. It just isn't manly enough and creates more fantasy fighting more in the range of anime than the actual mid to late 80s. 90s when cameras didn't exist. What? What? And crimes were a standard and everyone had a knife with him, even the layman normal person. What are you on about? I will bet folding money you weren't born in the 80s. Look, he watched the Warriors that documentary. And he could dig it. Are they mad because the art style is sick? Now? Like, absolutely gorgeous. Okay. So, here are five reasons every man should follow a man-flow yoga routine. Strength-based yoga. No spirituality. Just for men. That is so silly. We eliminated spirituality from yoga. Fellas, is it gay to stretch? They don't call it yoga. Just call it stretching. Call it big boy stretching. Big boy stretching. You want to come do some big boy stretching? It's not gay. It's all night. Yeah. He's stretched those big hammies. Oh my god. Also, just for the picture, all of it is hanging out. Dude, put the mouse back in the house. Those shorts are really not appropriate. Fox News said men shouldn't use straws. This is that thing. This is that thing. If anyone... This Jesse Walters or Waters criticized President Biden for using a straw. But he can't use anything else. He can't chew. He doesn't really have teeth. He's 97 years young. This is the same thing on the lines of men can't drink from bottles. It's too foul. Too gay. Joe Biden used a straw. Now, if you've seen me on the five or on prime time, you know I recommend that all men refrain from using straws. It's unbecoming. The way a man's lips purse. A man's soft lips are his own private kingdom. The size of a straw is just too dainty. The way your fingers clasp on it. No, straws are for women or little kids. And also, for no particular reason, here are a few pictures of Trump using straws. Straw. Straw. I want straws. You can have A straw. I need this iced because room temperature makes room. And here's one of Jesse Watters himself, ready to chow down on a McDonald's with a drink, which has a straw in it. No, throw it away. Throw the lid away. Drink your shake out directly out of the cup like all the normal people do. I was thinking, like, when the employee gave it to him, he was like, "How dare you?" Throw the cup back in their face. Drinking anything other than black coffee. Will. Do you want to read something? Another blue tick for Isabella Moody. Oh, my God. If your boyfriend doesn't drink black coffee, you don't have a boyfriend. You have a girlfriend. Why? Every man is lactose intolerant. Stansy pretends the head of video about this, about how it was not manly enough to drink something that had even a drop of milk in it. Like, why? On this car, on the window, printed, but at our hand corner, anybody? No airbag. We die like men. Fellas, is it gay to have protection in a car to stop you from dying? To die with a steering wheel buried in your forehead. Having no airbag is the macho manly thing to do. What kind of choice? Is it gay? Where's a helmet on a motorcycle? What kind of idiot wears gloves when dealing with deathly poisonous paint? Yeah, when the cop pulls you over, sorry officer, I wasn't wearing a seatbelt. I'm a man. You're a man in jail. You're a man in jail. You're a man in jail. You're a man in jail. You're a man in jail. You're a man in jail. You're a man in jail. You're a man in jail. You're a man in jail. You're a man in jail. You're a man in jail. You're a man in jail. You're a man in jail. Running in an airport with a backpack. Yeah, unless you have responsibilities in which case, yes, run with your backpack. And maybe unless you don't give a shit about what Nadia Blue Check thinks of you. I mean, honestly, honestly, I am going to say running in an airport with a backpack is probably a bad idea. Yeah, you're going to get a baton in the face and you're going 180. Do you want to pay for gay reasons? Nadia, do you want to pay for the tickets? Do you want to pay for the tickets they are going to miss because of you not wanting them to run in an airport? As a man, why are you even OK with ordering a fruity or mixed drink? Because fruity is tasty says "Drunky Crow". If I wanted salty or bitter, I'd just have a conversation with you. Oh! Nice comeback. Get it right. Oh, my Christ. Oh, God. No, a normal man would not be a virgin by the age of 50. The question was, is it possible for a normal 50-year-old man to still be a virgin? It's quite possible. It's rare. It's really possible. But ultimately saying it's not normal is simply reinforcing a statistic, but it seems designed to make men feel like they have to lose their virginity. Even if they're asexual, fuck it. You don't. If you don't want to, you don't. I figured out why the new Superman image says Nina Infinity, blue check, seems off. This is where Superman is putting on his boots, because it's an effeminate pose. It's not a good pose for a man that's supposed to be the strongest man in the universe. OK, I'm going to tell you right now, the pose that Superman is doing, he's, like, sitting on a spot. He's men spreading all over the place. Exactly. This is a posed picture from, like, the 50s of a girl putting on pantyhose with her legs crossed. There's a record, by the way, that is not a good way to put on. I think they're stockings, but that's not a good way to put them on. Films ignore this so much, putting on tights, leggings, stockings, the most uncomfortable awkward thing you could ever feel. You're going to, like, hike it up. Suspend about under the knickers. The correct way to do it is yank the stocking on, then spend the next half hour trying to get the damn things straight. Sorry, movies have suspended belt over the knickers. Yes, they do. In practical. Okay, so, efficient street lighting. Gone are the streets of Michael Mann's Los Angeles, warm, amber glow of noir and urban darkness, feminine, lumen migraine men force LEDs on us to make the streets safe, to save the planet, while they still waste as total hypocrites. Under blue lights, we are men among ruins. Do you just get, like, migraines, dude? Because you can get, like, pills and glasses. Yeah, you get yourself some yellow-lensed glasses and wear them, and the world will look... Hang on a minute, the... Michael Mann uses a blue filter. Yes, yes it does. Not a yellow one. If it was yellow, then you'd get a lot of green out of Michael Mann films. You would, yeah. Washing your genitals. Morning bone of fucking stinks makes my hand smell. Barbecue Ranch says king. Have you tried washing it? Scumbag, the original poster, O.P., says washing your genitals is a feminine trait. Then stop complaining. That you've got a stinky boner, because there's nothing you can do about it. Also, vicious UTIs! Wash! Please! Wash! I want him to continue not washing, and I want the fruits of his labour to be that he smells so funky, everyone goes, "Oh, no!" when he approaches them. Hey, sweet cheeks. You got an in, but I'd like to extend you away. Oh, my God. What is that smell? Oh! That's a smell of desire, my lady. God, now it smells like, like a used diaper. Oh! Excuse me. You know, desire smells like that to some people. What is that? It smells like a turd covered in burnt hair. Smells like big cunts dig. Oh. Oh, hey, that's great. From Shorty, blue check mark. Men who carry water bottles out in public give me the ick, especially at the airport. Oh, my God. Shorty, you're hanging out at the airport too much. That's the same phrasing as the men running with the backpack makes me ick. You can't go a few hours without having a little sips of water, carrying around anything as a feminine trait. What?! Staying hydrated is gay and feminine. The only thing men should be carrying around it is wallet and a pocket knife. Again! And on the airport. At the airport. The knife? Probably not sensible. The knife cut itself out of the box and arrived in my hand. Slotted my first boar. Okay. Greg Kelly, blue check. Show me a man who trades his awesome dog for a silly, wussy, little pussy cat. And I will show you a man who is not a man. I'm emphasizing the wrong words here. That is a very cute dog. That is a very cute cat. Either of those would be fine to own. Also, if you hang out with a cat, you will actually learn a little bit more about women without even knowing. Also, what, like, grand pharaohs really important to cats? A little way around cats were very important to the pharaohs. Yeah, Egyptians thought they were funny. Using a mirror as a man. You don't need a mirror. You're a man. This is a sign on a toilet wall just above the sink. Well, thank goodness that the self-esteem of man isn't dropping. Don't check your face. I don't care if you've got a fucking gummy bear sticking out of your beard. Does he also say underneath that a man washes his hands before or after? Not both. Anything else shows weakness of character. Being proud of being good at sex. Being proud of being good at sex is feminine. All alphas come quick and carry on with other things. Five minutes and done. If wife is upset and she is not your wife. Um, this is from... She very soon won't be. R/length or guff and by gorillas in your ears. Eating croissant is a feminine trait. You will never catch me eating or even saying croissant. So, don't be French. Being French, apparently, is a feminine trait. Listen, there's not a single straight man in France. Yeah, God loves wife. I am here to make love to all of you. Oh, and do I TT? Oh, okay, wait, I want to do this. Hang on, this is the one where he kind of gives away that he has no taste. I mean, we knew that anyway, but he literally has no sense of taste. Oh, my God, okay. Food is awful with an apostrophe, but he doesn't know how to write. Okay. Food's awful and eating sucks. I eat the bare minimum and as fast as possible. I hate eating. I hate feeling full. Men who think cooking makes the manly are cucks afraid of the cage desperate to validate a non-existent masculinity. Imagine how stupid you have to be to find food. Entertaining, literally embarrassing. Sir, if you have an eating disorder, just say so loud. Also, you've got to stop watching the annoying orange. Also, food isn't entertaining. It is sustenance. It is flavour. It is eating a croissant, for example. Gives you a joy for life if you eat something that you actually do care about. I don't think Andrew cares about anything. Stop living. Andrew doesn't have the joy of life. Maybe stop living on Alex Jones's fucking bone broth. I was going to say this. Ah, present planet now, come. This man eats his cigars. You think that every time you see him smoking one, he's just taking a puff? No, he is chewing on them like a horse. Yeah, just like a blow of chicken bones and skin. It tastes like a blooper of chocolate milk. Apparently they were about to hit him for non-payment of taxes. You have me apparently they were about to hit him. OK. Oh my Christ. I like this line. But where of the pipeline? Regular guy, fortnight. He's a little more feminine wearing a polo neck. Bonus wings. Bonus wings. If he doesn't eat bones, gender pronouns. Now he's suddenly in a skirt. Communism. He actually looks, she actually looks quite fabulous. It starts with fortnight. I don't know why. It doesn't need no matter how hard you try. Keep that in mind. And boneless wings. It ends with gender pronouns and communism. A communism snuck up on us there. Yeah. Complaining about communism now in 2024 is like, OK. Honestly, I'm with you on the whole. We need to watch out for Russia at this stage. Yeah. Russia's not communist anymore. Yes, no, I know. Also, who is communist? I'm not entitled. Socialists are communist. It's not the same thing. I know it's not the same thing, but to these people they are. You were the last place I can think of that was authentically communist and it's kind of falling over right now. To these people playing fortnight and eating chicken without being worried that you're going to bite into a bone is the same thing. Also, I am fairly definitely sure that the communist era was not fine with trans people. No. No. No. And putting definitely isn't. Definitely isn't. Oh, men that like to wear skirts, which is absolutely fine. Again, I will reiterate. She's looking pretty hot in that last one there. I mean, all of those images are of a tragedy. Oh, my God. I've just realized that this was drawn by somebody queer and sympathetic. And then this person who has no ability to draw just added the words. It would be so much better if it was actually them that drew it. They draw so many trans women. This is the pipeline I am about to slide down. Watching the NFL makes you the biggest cuck. Oh, my God. We're now in seat section four, the grand champions. These are the absolute kings of being fucking idiots. Nico says people still watching the NFL at this point, the biggest cucks in history. Even a line out the door of men wanting to screw their wives could not make them a bigger cuck than watching the Super Bowl. Make sure you cuck salute for the cuck National Anthem/Black National Anthem. That's the thing, isn't it? Now, people go, what happened to slavery that could affect us today? What happened to slavery that could affect us today? A lot of shit happened to slavery that affects us every day. For instance, doing slavery, they used to take the biggest, strongest slaves and breathe them and try their best to make big, strong, super slaves, okay? That's right. That's right. There's evidence of that today, like the NFL, for instance. It's right. NFL stands for nigga fucking large. They bred the slaves. This is why black people dominate every physical activity in the United States of America, okay? We're only 10% of the population. We're 90% of the final four, okay? We fucking dominate all this shit, okay? Basketball, baseball, football, boxing, track, even golf and tennis. As soon as they make a heated hockey rink, we're going to take that shit to them. But also the Super Bowl. They're civilly popular with a lot of people. A lot of straight men, specifically. Like, if you want to run into a sports bar and shout, you're all about your cocks. I want to see them punch you, because they will. Sharon, if you would... The Chinese plan to feminize the West. In 2000... The entire... that side of the planet. In 2008, former CCP chairman Hu Jintao asserts the Chinese Communist Party. Met with former health minister Chen Zhu to discuss findings on their illegal experiments on the Ugyo people. They found that when estradol valorate was put into the water supply of an arumki neighborhood at a concentration of five milligrams per litre, incidents of violent crime went down by 60%. An incidence of terrorism went down by over 300%. That has to be impossible, right? I don't think something can go down by 300%. That means they're building things. Both rates... Hey, how's it going? We're terrorists, but we are just going to... We like to give back as well, at the moment we're feeling very generous, possibly because of the water. Birth rates also fell by 37%. Tests in early 2009 in a neighborhood of South Lussa yielded similar results. The CCP as an emerging power rivaling the US saw potential in this. They knew that spiking the entire US water supply was unrealistic, so they sought a more cultural, soft power route. In 2010, along with opening several Confucius Institutes, they launched an online campaign, Operation Pinfay. It sought to promote homosexuality and transsexualism among young Western males, mostly via online campaigns, but also helped paying various politicians on local, provincial and national levels. It was thought that this would lead to lower birth rates, lower army enlistment rates, and a stunting of fields like construction and other manual labour positions. By all accounts, it seems to have worked. Rates of transgenderism are up in the US since 2008, and army enlistment is down. Because trans folk now have much more of an idea of who they are. The construction sector is floundering, and growth in fields like oil drilling has stagnated like crazy. Between this and the Belt and Road plan, do you think the Westerns cooked prose? Right, okay. Just for a moment, are we all aware of what happened in 2008? There was a massive financial crash. After that, is it surprising that the construction sector would flounder, and growth in fields like oil drilling would stagnate like crazy? No one had any money! (laughing) (screaming) So two points for this one. There's very clear. Number one, absolute cop bollock. This means nothing. He pulled it out of his ass. There are so many, like, this country has turned all of us into tiny, sissy boys. Do you want this to have happened? Or are you, like, going, "Oh no, we're turning into all of these." You're all being strong alpha to come and save you boys. Is that the end of your story? Your weird-a-you that you came up with. Oh no, don't feminise me. I'll go you one further. This is a conspiracy theory, but it's the same conspiracy theory as the southbok episode with the metrosexuality because the queer eye for the straight guys, guys, were helping to glamourise the men of southbok, to turn them into wimps so that crab people could invade. Crab people, crab people, taste like crab. Walk like people, crab people. Crab people are too small and weak to take over men by force. And so we came up with our perfect plan. If you can't beat men, change me. I knew it. I knew gay people would never do this to their own kind. When all the world is metrosexual, the crab people shall find their reigns supreme. You'll never turn me into a metrosexual. I like being a dirty filthy little boy. Very well. If we can't make you into metrosexuals, then we will make you into crab people. Take, take. You came into my life. Crab people. And my world never looks so proud. Crab people is true. You bring out the best of me. Crab people are all around. But when you are around, people are all around. Crab people are all around. Yeah, so if you are even slightly feminine, then the crab people win. Oh my god. There's more to the... This is my niece's plan to feminise the West. This is still on Reddit by the way. It's also on Reddit. Ask transgender. Oh my Christ. What is it? What is it with these trans people and anime? OK, is it just me, or does it seem like there is a huge percentage of anime fans in the trans community? Going both ways, MTFs obsessing over waifus and sadly wishing that they could be that kawaii to FTMs. I've met IRL named ad Alphonse Vash, and I'm not making this up. Kirito. Lord knows I'm not an exception to this. I've got shelves full of manger and waifus scrolls all over my walls. Then what are you fighting about, man? Dude, the waifus scrolls keep the waifus away. It seems to me that anytime you meet a trans person, there's a good chance he/she/they is going to be a fan of anime. Could it be the hyper-feminine depiction of women, and conversely the hyper-masculine depiction of men for FTMs? Could the strict to Japanese gender roles, ironically, appeal more to people? Side note, do you mention Vash, right? Not the most macho of guys. No. If you're going to take that name, you're acknowledging a certain androgyny. Could the strict to Japanese gender roles, ironically, appeal more to people trying desperately to fit into their true gender? Skills, cooking, cleaning, versus cars, sports, and speech patterns, men and women speak very differently in Japanese, also service gender cues. Is it the fact that many of these anime take place in high school, leaving many trans folks wistful about what might have been if they had been born their correct physical sex? Or am I just reading too much into this? It's all confirmation bias or something, and I have no idea what I'm talking about. The response is the fellas bit. Can I hold on? I just, I wouldn't say real quick before this guy ruins everything. From a transgender person, let me tell you, anime is super popular. You are going to have an extremely difficult time to find someone who isn't at least aware of anime. If you find someone that hates anime and is trans, that's not a surprise either, because the entire world is different. And that's also, because again, trans folk are a small subsection of society. You keep treating like a vast tidal wave that are going to envelope us. Also, it is notoriously famous that Japanese anime boys sound like women, or look like women, but that's what this person is asking. They're trans, a lot of their friends who are also trans are into anime. They are curious as to why. I mean, I think they're probably barking up some wrong trees there, but the response was as follows. This is the thing. This is all planned. Most anime isn't even Japanese. It's just made in a warehouse in Guangzhou and repackaged. Every badget at your fool. The amount of homo shit I see when my cousin watches anime is insane had to block crunchy roll on his tablet. Why are you in charge of your cousin's tablet? The Japanese aren't even in on this. The anime that's basically Sissy Hypno and pushes the Chinese global homo agenda is Chinese. It's made in a warehouse in Guangzhou and passed off as Japanese like an off-brand handbag. And who paid those Dems to pass those laws? The Chinese. While you argue on Reddit. Type that the anime on season three. Just tighten it. Just pull the lever that says more anime. AOC, Bernie and Old Manjo stuff their wallets like burritos with Chinese fun books. Besides, my PFP is from Evangelion, you know, like Evangelism? Literally one of the few enemies that promotes family values, instead of being just a Trojan horse for commie bullshit. That's like saying, and besides, I only read Playboy for the articles at the end after you've rented about porn. What you're aiming for is a world of wash with orange soda. And this is another example of, oh no, don't make me trans. Don't make me super into anime. Well, you do this one. Okay, the entire transgender movement can be seen as a result of... Moana, marijuana vacation. Oh Christ. Of the human libido. Hmmm, leading to complete derangement. A stone sex drive. Until out of that derangement manifests literal sexual demon. Is this in a what now? It's transgender. It is not about sex. I cannot get it. I cannot say this enough. Gender and sex are different things. A monster incarnate, an narcotic parody. All sex. You're an narcotic parody of sex. Okay, Lord. I have some tires. Hey, have a bang on that man. It'll turn you into a woman. Hey, what? New estrogen just dropped. If it were that easy, trans folks would just be like, okay, just get me some of that sweet, sweet butt. I want to get high so high. I want to get high so high. This is from the same guy. Okay, so in response to men who eat pussy are spiritual lesbians. Glycinephile says there is likely a direct correlation between men who do this. 99% of leftist men and modern leftism. It's my suspicion that there is something in the vaginal fluids that is capable of estrogenising the body. Cook holding the spirit, hence the thousand year prohibition against it. Again pulling it out of their ass. Again begging women not to feminise them with their vaginal fluids. And again, where are they getting these stats from? 99% of leftist men? Where is this pole? Where is it from online? Show it to me. And then somebody responded with unprotected sex too. The vaginal fluid gets onto the testicles and penis and absorbs into the body causing the same estrogenic effect. This is another one of the end cells, like do you know that actually being a virgin is so masculine? It's more straight. Surprise final section, just to finish things off and to serve as a sort of a palate cleanser. Here are two very different takes. From Matt Haig, got called Gay at school for liking books, a big girl's blouse by a teacher for not liking rugby, a coward for not wanting a fight, mocked as a girl for wearing a yellow jacket, told to be a man when nervous, the pressure boys feel to be unfeeling morons is intense, resist. Thank you Matt Haig, the only blue check talking any sense at this point. He's awesome, I have two of his books, he's very good. Is this a guy just as a frog? A lizard, I've seen this guy. It says here that you have been actively committing marriage fraud for money and you've been doing it for a year now and you are not worried in the slightest that you'll get caught. What exactly is marriage fraud? In my job, if you're married, you get paid significantly more money. Yeah, more than double. So me and one of my buddies from, oh I know for a very, very long time, since like kindergarten, so over a decade, decided to just get married and now I make much money and I buy and think sometimes and it all works out good for the both of us. Are you and your buddy legally married? We are, yeah. Well Scotty, I have news for you, if you and your buddy are legally married, there is no fraud being taken place. Like at work, I have to kind of go around the fact that I'm not gay because when I tell people, like especially that have ranks, I ask me questions about my husband and stuff and I definitely hold quite a few people that I'm bisexual, but like do I really have to do that? Because nowhere does it say that I can't get married for a particular reason. You don't have to be gay to get married to a man. I mean you did it. You're not gay and you're married to a man. It feels like Phil. I love him also. I love my husband a lot. I think you might be gay, Scotty. But you know what? It's fine. You're on a slow, quiet road towards realisation, so that's good. Cool, cool. That's the plot of many a milson boom story, a couple who are married for years before they finally realise that they do actually love each other. Nice. It's also kind of I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry, but written better. And of course we have a counterpoint. Here we have a chap named Nick Fuentes voicing the polar opposite of love. Never having a girlfriend, never having sex with a woman, really makes you more heterosexual because honestly dating women is gay. Having sex with women is gay. This was Nick protesting that he wasn't gay after he cut to gay porn that he was watching. He blamed Israel. It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way. No rain for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way. It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way. No rain for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way. Okay, we're going to finish on the everyday carry. Now this is something that came into more public prominence fairly more recently in the past ten years or so. The concept of an everyday carry is, and I did this myself and it's really helped. Every time you leave the house you have a small pack of some essentials that you carry with you. Not necessarily a backpack, you don't need to carry that much. I've got a fanny pack that I put around my bag. It's like a little sling bag. When first introduced to this concept, my immediate response was, "Congratulations gentlemen, you've invented the handbag." Yes, this is your first gentleman. It's like a man's bag without drawing too much attention to the bag. You can have an Altoids tin that you everyday carry. Just a little pack. For me, I absolutely have to have my sunglasses, just in case the sun comes out. If it blasts me in the eyes, I start to get headaches or the flickering can actually make me feel like I'm getting the strobe effect. So I've got to have them, especially if I'm doing it in a car. I've got to have painkillers, so paracetamol and ibuprofen, because I am very likely to get a headache outside, and I don't want to be caught without that. Editors note, I am currently on my eleventh day of quitting taking painkillers cold turkey. They were becoming less affected and I was worried I was taking too many. We shall see if I have to go back to them. But I've had a migraine for three weeks now. It raises and lowers to various intensities. I once woke up with a level one. That was fantastic. I thought I was done, but I knew that the pain would be coming back. And at one point it got to level 13, which was day three of the detox. Yeah, that was when I thought I might die. I also keep travel sickness tablets for whenever I start to feel nauseous, which is what happens when I start getting a migraine, or the pressure changes. I also carry with me, well, I've still got the mask from lockdown. I don't tend to ever have to go for it, but I also have a little, but very handy torch. We found out that having a small torch that runs out of batteries really fast in the kitchen drawer is actually worse than having no torch at all, because you're relying on something that will never help you. Like, you know, click, ah, it's already run out of batteries. But a little torch that just seems to never run out of batteries, which is what I've got. Doesn't have to be a big brand name, but if it just holds its charge and it can go through a variety of little modes so that you can maybe hang it from your belt and it's glowing, luminous. So, you know, if you're out walking the dog, that's really helpful. If nothing else, the dog knows how to get back to you. Dogs can't see very well in the dark. What else do I have? Tissues for, if I get a runny nose, a little tiny sort of pen-knife credit card-sized thingy. My wallet goes in the back of this thing with a zip. It's the kind of wallet that you can't use one of those handheld scanners, which have like... RFID. RFID, yeah, sort of like it masks that stuff. When I have to go out and bring with me something like it looks like it's about to rain. I have a slightly bigger kit, which also involves like a pull-out kagool that can break down into a small pack. Most of my stuff is about adverse weather and being prepared for whatever kind of shit that Britain will change its weather every few minutes sometimes of the year. And I just need to be prepared for that. However, the most macho of macho men consider all of this being prepared for weather stuff to be a mug's game. They want to be prepared for much more than that. So this is some stuff I put on my Alex's and another thing on the Discord, which I update every few days whenever I've got something to mention. I have been updating the little bag I got in 2017 for when our family went on vacation for the first and last time. It's proven useful in a pinch for keeping headache medication and a few other things handy. Looking into this, opened up the world of EDC kits every day carry, which are custom-assembled according to your needs and supposed to be small, light and sensible. And of course, there's an intersection and a whole Venn diagram of weird survivalists, doomsday preppers, pompous, whiskey-swelling dude-brows, and straight-up paranoid nut jobs. So Exhibit A, backpack with essentials for surviving out in the world for a week, focuses on keeping you dry, making sure you have drinkable water, making sure you have light, and a small multi-tool totally fit for purpose. Also includes toilet paper. They've actually thought, like, when I'm stuck in the woods, I'm gonna need to poop. Exhibit B, a handy and pocketable everyday carry in an Altoids tin, so that's like breath mints, strong ones. Full of light, cheap, disposable items that you might need for a number of scrapes and fixes. Definitely more than I need to be out in town, but your expeditions may vary. So, like, he's got a little pen knife, a pen torch, some elastroplast, washers, memory stick, handy wipes, matches. But, yeah, they all seem like they're things that have a practical application. Okay. Here, Exhibit C, built as an urban survival kit. This is a fancy lighter, a little flashlight, a silver pen, a tobacco pouch with a skull on it, a terrifying murder knife, and a harmonica for when you're in jail. But terrifyingly murdering somebody with your murder knife. Yeah, I mean, the design of this knife, it is a cruel talent, it is a serrated claw. This is a knife that you'd whip out in a Stallone movie. Yes, or for when you're already in jail and you need to ship some on. But you're all not allowed to have that. You've got to carve a toothbrush into the appropriate shape. Also, you could argue that this is also in the same vein as a survival kit. Oh, that killer knife is definitely in a vein somewhere. Why do you need a pen? Pen knife? Why? Just a bit. Getting a pen that can actually write on damp paper is really helpful. Getting a pen that can work upside down, really helpful. Getting a pencil, helpful. Silver pen is overkill for an everyday carry. Oh, a monica? It's spending way too much, and there's nothing to carry it in. Like, all of this is loose. None of this is in its own little meat package. There is a package there, but that's just a tobacco. Right, let's look at Exhibit D. No! An expensive watch. A folding knife. A car key. A multipass. A pen. A flashlight. My wedding ring from that lying bitch. A dreidel to tell me if I'm dreaming or not. A gun to shoot people with. And the pin from the grenade that I just pulled. And a bottle opener because we're all going to hell tonight, so. Drinks, do I know you? I feel like I know you. I don't know you do. It's weird. The watch seems like extra load to carry, unless you, like, wear a watch everyday like I do, because your phone can tell you the time. Your phone could tell you the time, and if this is meant to be a survival kit, you can estimate. That multipass is in fact like a credit card holder. It's like a metal thing that you slide the cards into. Okay, in that case, I would posit that this is somebody who doesn't carry a phone, because at least three of the things in this, maybe four, can be incorporated into a phone. It feels like that phone will probably save your life in many more ways than all of these. A dreidel? The dreidel is a little mad at them. It's a little spinning top that you spin, and if it stops spinning, then you're not in a dream. Yeah, that's inception. I'm wondering why it has to be a dreidel and not just a spinning top. I made you out of Chrome. Okay, exhibit E. Nuclear survival kit, 629 pounds for the fallout after the atomic wars. You know, a few years ago, this one would have been funnier. Well, if it was, like, a fallout themed... Everyday carry, exhibit F. The next of these are from a back and forth I had with Sharon regarding the funniest, standard EDC. The word standard is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. iPhone, pen life with a side car, Girot Wire, hitman gloves, nerd disguise kit, it's a pair of glasses. What?! Hey mad gloves, where are you going? What situation do you need to throw to the rabbit while you're in the wild? At least this one has a phone, but the gloves are to stop you cutting your own fingers on the Girot Wire. Is this rabbit just going to be like, "Oh, that guy over there, he's a nerd." He looked like a shrek. You thought I was a nerd, but I'm a man. You joke, but that Girot Wire, and possibly this thing here, whatever that is, you could use that to make a snare to catch a rabbit. So I'm with that. That's a portable snare kit. Yeah, so it would have seen it. Exhibit G, I can't believe I missed the hacksaw. My urban survival kit includes a big knife, and a massive 90s camera, which runs on SLR film. What do you need the camera for? Photographing my prey. Three of the things in that picture are also things your phone now does quite efficiently. I don't think my phone is the kind that has a camera. Or a clock, or a flashlight. Yeah, it's a watch, headphones, a hacksaw, Girot Wire, phone, and a giant SLR camera. Yeah, and a charging cable for the phone. Okay, if you're a photographer, that's absolutely, if you're going to a dangerous zone and you've got to keep your camera with you, then absolutely fine. But it feels like if you were a photographer, you'd have backup cameras. Yes. Like, one under your hat, a snappy snaps one from the 90s. Also, it says here includes a big knife. He's can't teach you. You've just hurt his masculine bride. Exhibit H, each of these is like a rule shack test for the creator. You tell them one word. Survival. And this is their line of response. Fuck you, man. Here's my urban survival kit. A knife, a knife, another knife, a knife with a pencil on it, 80 shades, and a lens cap for a 90s camera. That is absent. Plus my filer facts. Okay, you are preparing for the Hunger Games. You are not preparing to be in the wild. You know, urban survival kit. This is just a joke downtown, apparently. He's got... How many people do you think you'd either get into knife fights with on your way downtown or back? Some of these do. Also, you forgot your wallet. It's another tiny knife, by the way. What is the point of this? Do you have... It's the point of a lens cap on the camera. I'm assuming the lens cap was on the camera you're taking the photo with. Oh, yeah. You've got this clever there. I have an everyday carry as well, and I tend to just put as many small things I might need in there as possible. I have a flashlight. I have a small kit with, like, hand sanitizer and plasters and pills for if I feel sick and numb. There's a range of things in there. I have a measuring tape. I have a mask. I have gloves and... Is this an eight-man gloves? No. Like, move gloves. But... Do you have a garrot? Why? My goodness, I don't. Well, you're not going to catch any rabbits without that. What is it? What are you laughing at? I'm like... You should. This person's going to survive. This man. Three knives? You need one. You need one good sturdy knife. Do you? It's really fast. It's fast. My pen knife card thing has one little knife. But even I feel like a bit. It's probably good that I'd be told that I can't bring that on a plane. This is more like you're Jason Bourne and you're waiting for someone to pull up on you with a punch at any second. So you are just raring to go to kill someone. Okay, the next. It's not concerning at all. The next one is less Jason Bourne and more Jason Bourhes. Exhibit I, just a knife, a knife, a knife, a knife, a different kind of knife, a knife sharpener, a knife holder, a flashlight and another knife. No, no, no, no, no. This is a box cutter. Right. Sorry. A box cutter. I thought knife. Yeah, and these are scissors. Scissors are kind of like a practical knife. Also, that has to be the most uncomfortable design for a small shank I've ever seen. You have to like, oh. When you're practicing your stabbing. Like the hilt has three divots to put your fingers, but that's a very tiny knife. It's unwieldy. What are you using these knives for? This is like small carving kits that are way too small and way too limited. Maybe he's going to carve up a Christmas goose. I want to put these people up against a loose and then see how small knives help. I mean, I would have wanted to anyway, but yeah. Also, I don't want them used to be harmed. Give them a... Oh, it was a skip, woah bale. Massive and so fast and they swim and it's terrifying. And I think that's pretty much it. Knifey boy was the last one. Oh, wait. See, this person knows what they're doing with an urban survival kit. It's an 80s Walkman, a swatch watch, a modern day iPhone, but also an old fashioned 2000s I pod on a second generation and some wayfarer shades and wired 80s headphones. Is that a cigarette lighter? Like it burns with the metal and then you'd stick your cigarette in it. No, no, that is some kind of USB stick. Yeah, thought of your special music. Oh, well, every day carry, every day carry. Even if this isn't a survival kit, why do you need like three different music devices? I got a trim UI credit card sized handheld on that day. It seemed just right for my everyday carry. It was broken. Aww. There's an iPod mini. It was broken. The battery ran out within minutes each time after a full charge. School of Movies is funded by Patreon. And our $15 sponsors cross every colour of the rainbow, including several of them who are totally straight. So thank you too. Aaron Burns. Aaron LaCluse. Abel Savard. Alejandro Vargas. Alex Brewington. Angus Lee. Benjamin Biddle. Benjamin Hoffer. Brian Novak. Cassando Newman. Chris Finnick. Kieran Dachelor. Connor Kennedy. Dan Mayer. Daniel Selgero. Dan Hetner. Dave Hickman. David Sheely. Finn Barnicoell. Frankie Punesy. Greg Downing. James Enright. Jesse Ferguson. Joe Crow. Joel Robinson. Joanne Clawson. Joe Gluck. Josh Palsland. Kevin Vaihe. Lorraine Chisholm. Marty Palmaier. Matthew A. Siebert. Michael Hasko. Sean Doran. Toby Skils Jungius. Tim Wiesensky. Timothy Green. Tom Painter. Tyler Long. Sarah Montgomery. And Kat Essmann. Gay Deskneil from Colin Popshit. Thanks Chris. Quick round up of today's gayness now starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M. They're all gay as from midnight to night. The gay elements are potassium, zinc, hydrogen, copper and argon. Quick look at the world's walls. The wailing wall is gay. Hadrian's wall is very gay. The great wall of China, that's not gay. And the old London wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next, they're the same as last night. All Volkswagen's registered between 1982 and 1985. They stay gay for another fortnight. And finally, the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean. So, see you there. Chris. Thanks Colin. Thank you to Sharon and Willow so much for your patience, co-hosting and guesting duties. And a massive thank you to Trippas and his team, Alejandro. Chris Finnick, Greg, Self, Toby and Lincoln. For your painstaking diligent curation of all of this stuff. Effectively giving us the script. For the show you just finished listening to folks. Yep. Fellow by the name of Alex wanted to do away with his headaches. Going against God's will by taking powders and such. Turns out, headache powders give you a powerful headache. You don't want to go down that road. What came out of his head? One human. Sometimes having a migraine is better. On that bombshell. Indeed. Sorry to expose you to what is out there. Yep. In their heads. They're amazing minds. Now we are going to close out with a very funny lady. Whose fan fucking tastic videos I have sampled repeatedly in this episode. Chachad. This is maybe my favorite of hers. Where she got on Danny Gonzalez. A fluffy hair boy, YouTuber. And they examined the TikToks of alpha males. These men will tell us how to be super straight. Not to mention the most successful a man can possibly be. It's mostly down to dressing in a suit and nagging women. Can a woman help you become a millionaire? Yes. Only if you are a billionaire. I like that this was tweeted on Twitter for ipad. He was just like on his stomach with his feet swinging behind him. Can a fucking woman make you money? The answer is no. Money and girlfriend do not go together. Either you make money or make girlfriends. Either you make money or you go outside with a shovel. You dig up some dirt and just kind of sculpt it into a. All night just bent over the bench with the air dry clay. I'm like a plate out toys where you squeeze it through the top. It's like the hair comes through. Ah, she's beautiful. Listen close baby girl. I may look like a gentleman but you don't want to see the beast that lives inside me. I like to think that they have shoot days for these. Like dedicated shoot days and they bring multiple outfit changes. Situate their glasses. But you don't want to see the beast that lives inside me. A well-dressed man is always better than a shirtless man. And then there's a man becoming shirtless in the background. And that's why I don't take off my shirt during sex. I don't take off my clothes when I shower. Where my jean, my jorts and my jandles. And my jandles. Why is he standing like that? His posture is like. This is filmed on the ipads. That's right. The ipad is like falling so he's like falling with it. So this is the guy that you don't be like this guy. This is the bad alpha. Bad alpha. No ipad for a week. Back in your cave. I failed to maintain a relationship because I don't know the art of lying. Lying. Lying. I think he should have just tweeted the first line of this tweet. I failed to maintain a relationship. Hey guys, just failed to maintain another relationship. Hey, what's up? My standards. Bye. I was hoping that he was going to speed up at the end because that would make more sense. My standards. Bye. But how did you get so fast? You must have fought a lot of crypto. You can flirt with my women. If she flirt back, she is now yours. Just letting you know you can take my girlfriend away from me in the blink of an eye. She even speaks a single word to you. Take her. That is how ownership works because you know women are, you can own them. She spent my entire jean outfit budget on other things. She spent all my Johnny on McDonald's. The only time you are allowed to speak to your girlfriend is if you're going to use some weird like pun joke to mean her. I'm going to need you to film B-roll for all of these. Yeah. Do you want me to do this one right now? Do you have a briefcase? Girl, you are like a coin. Aw. Valuable? Nope. Too fake. Beep beep beep beep beep beep. Oh, you want to divorce me? Okay. Your house will stop being paid of. Your car will get repoted and your credit cards will start getting declined. And so your only option at this point is to develop Stockholm syndrome. Oh, you want to divorce me? That's not an option, babe. Because you're going to die. He like needs to make a mold of you before you're legally allowed to leave so he can recreate you. Yeah, wait. At least give me time to make another girlfriend. Let me scan you with my iPad. Oh, so you want the nice guy now because he became successful? Sorry, honey, but you rejected him a long time ago. Are we meant to believe that the person tweeting this considers himself a nice guy? We are, yeah. I don't think that that's, it's very alpha to refer to yourself as a nice guy. So I think that this, this might be an imposter. We should, we should be wary. Who stole the alpha male's iPad? Emergency meeting. Who stole my iPad? Give it back. Going to a book for love is like going to a library for workout. Why does he speed off in the background? Watch how he speeds off. I gotta go. I gotta go. I gotta take a shit. What are all these videos of guys just like looking into the camera and like buttoning one button of a tuxedo jacket? Nothing says like I don't care about other people's validation quite like posting videos like this on social media. Do you guys like this outfit? Do you like this jerk? My Joe tie. My Josh. Josh? Watch. Oh. I was thinking gene crotch. My genus. My genitalia. My genitalia. Oh. It's got a gene dick. Am I in a relationship? Nope. I'm single as a dollar and not looking for change. Oh my god. Okay. Do that one. Yeah, I can do that. Yeah. Do that one. It was two guys taking off their suit jackets and doing like a press up. Only you jump into the hair. Do make sure you get the push up where all of their limbs stop touching the ground at the same time. Yeah, I'll do that. So go ahead and read what you were reading. Am I in a relationship? Nope. I'm single as a dollar and not looking for change. I put my whole jersey in it now. I think I'm actually a little bit more alpha than when we started even. That level drew up at least three alpha levels. So go ahead and pat yourself on the jack. We should love not fall in love because everything that falls get broken. Kind of like how you broke all of your ribs. What do you mean? I'm fine. The second half of this video is just me calling you an ambulance. Yeah. I'm just going to put you edited into an ambulance in the thumbnail. Take like a screen grab of me like in mid-air doing that. In mid-air. You're straight up and your legs are perfect. Anyone can dress like a boy. But it takes balls to dress like man. I've never worn a suit but that's just because I don't have any balls. Last time I put on a suit it was one of the hardest experiences in my life. I was cowering in the corner for hours before I had to put it on. We missed the wedding we were going to. Was it your wedding? Yeah it was my wedding and I was shitting and pissing. Oh god. But at least I had the balls to do it. In my mind that doesn't make you any less of an alpha. I think that you still deserve your level which is still lower than me. Yeah. We live in a society where people ignore each other to get others attention. Most of these make sense you know like if your girl talks to somebody else she legally belongs to them. This one I'm not really getting what the message is. So this is alpha male trying to come up with some reason why not every girl wants to talk to. She acts like she doesn't like me because she likes me too much. She told me not to come to her house. We live in a society where people tell other people I don't know you. Stay away from me. I'm calling the police. Why did you kill my dog? Sometimes even the devil on my shoulder asks what the fuck are you doing? Where the fuck are we? Yeah. Why are you wearing that makeup what the hell is going on? Did we just kill some people like oh my god. Women always says the divorce was not my fault. Are you specifically talking about the women that have divorced you? Because in that case I think I'd agree with that. It's been divorced 18 times. They always say all these women they're like oh I was in my fault and all I did was work 24/7 and I never talked to them. How could it be my fault? I've never spoken to her. The most dangerous creation of any society is the man who has nothing to lose. I don't know this is starting to sound less fun to me being an alpha. I don't know if I want to reach Pete. Starting to feel honestly threatened. There was like the one about like you do not want to know the beast inside me and be careful when I get quiet. And now he's like hey just you know I'm the most dangerous person in existence. What wisdom would we instill to the public as far as becoming reaching our level of alpha? Alright picture this. Alright we fade in on a black and white video of a man in a tuxedo. He looks absolutely jacked. He's spinning around. Over the video is text that says I pooped. I farted. I'm so scared. I'm gonna kill somebody. So send Danny money for the ambulance so that he can fix his arms. And in the meantime thank you so much for watching. I appreciate you clicking on my video out of all the videos that are on here. And I'll see you next time. Bye! (Music) (Music) (Music) (Music) (Music) (Music) (Music) (Music) (Music) (Music) (Music) (Music) (Music) (Music) (Music) (Music)
