[Music] Welcome to Drinking Bros. Presented by GhostBed.com [Music] Sit back, relax, and grab a fucking drink. Yeah, welcome to Drinking Bros, kids! Live from the University of Illinois, our name's Celtzer's in the stadium for the next three years. Let's go, motherfuckers! - Fuckers! - Yeah, boys! - We got David Anthony Holloway, Tim Morris, Oh Jeez, Homie. Day one, Homie, dude. We're finally in your state. - Finally! - Took you about a long enough time. - What was the last time we were here? - Well, the last time I saw you-- - What were you doing your book signing? - We were in Dayton the last time I saw you, I think, right? - Yeah, you were doing your book signing about 12 years ago. - Holy shit! - Remember what's in a police bar that all fucked? - That was great, right out of the barfly, that guy. - God damn it, dude. - Dude, your shots? - That place rocks! - The only good thing with Jesse was here, so you're kind of missing out with Jesse. - I know, I know. The amount of times when people were like, "Oh, hey, your wife's not here." I was like, "Okay, cool, man, I get it." But still my wife, a bunch of dudes asking where my wife is, and I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, she'll be where she's at, okay?" We got three kids, all right? Fuckers! - She'll be making sandwiches. - I know, well, we love Jesse, that's okay, we'd rather have you here at your party. - Yeah, we sure do, and these 8%ers are in 16 ounces now. - Orange, thanks for bringing the orange to Illinois, that's great. - It tastes like Orange Fanta, right? - Fuck, yeah, that's awesome. - People are getting blackout drunk. I got blackout drunk last night on accident. I had to go out to a bunch of bars, give out hats, and all the other stuff to the accounts that picked us up. So we're drinking with them, and just getting absolutely annihilated, and when we got up today, you saw all the cans in the hallway. I must have left those out at some point? - Yeah, you must have, I got up and worked out this morning, and when I was going down to the first floor, on the fifth floor, there's like a chair and some tables, and there's a couple of cans, which is like, it would be one thing if it was a group of people. - Sure. - But it was just your dumb ass. - It was just me, and we had dinner at a lovely eatery here in Illinois. Long John Silver's? - Oh, that's nice. - They took out the salad bar, they got the salad bar in there. - No, it was fucking disgusting. - It was amazing. Fine dining, Joel was not happy about it. Gear Bear loved it, took it to Go Box. I texted him on the way out to the bars last night and said, "Hey, where are you?" Didn't hear back anything until 4.30 in the morning, and he said, "Sorry, I blacked out my bathtub with the tray of Long John Silver's all over my chest." That's a true story. - Was there Tardis sauce, too? - No, wow. - The other best Tardis sauce. - Tardis sauce, vinegar? You looked at me like I was a fucking dirt bag for having vinegar. - On the fish. - I don't like the word it's too close. - It's too close to the N word for me. - Oh, vinegar? - Yeah, that's true. And we have a black here. We're not gonna take you guys. Roggle here somewhere today, Roggle's right here. - I'm gonna bring you up later, just so we're good for the audience, obviously. - To know you're a real human being, I think it's important. - To know that we have obviously a black listener, every single month, we gotta do that, which is fun. - I mean, we came in right under the wire, it's the 29th. - Holy shit, we were so close. We were so close to being racist. - We lose our tax exempt status, I think, if we don't have one on. - Yeah. - Yeah, we had, you got an EIN for the black guy. Stop it, look, this is the home of Abraham Lincoln, okay? - You know what he did? - Yeah, he won four state titles. - And wrestling. - And wrestling. - And wrestling, yeah, it sure is. - Now, Rose Patterson, I appreciate that. - No, I was born a Peoria, I don't know, right down the street. - You got it down the street. - Yes, me, Richard Pryor, who else? Who's famous from Peoria? - My great grandma. - Jim Toomey. - You're a great, oh yeah, Jim Toomey. - Jim Toomey. - All a favor. - Jim Toomey, and then she said her great-grandmother who made great pie, stop it. Unless we're putting our penises inside of it, I don't wanna hear that about your grandma, okay? - Yeah, you never hate it. - There's a, I have never eaten out your grandmother. I'm married, but I could have at one point. Oh, great, great, yeah, I don't care about the age and all that other stuff, you know, she's simple, she's a simple. - She's a simple number, yeah. - My grandpa still takes care of my grandpa. We'll bring you up at the end, 'cause you're not mic'd up, but I love you. - I think Kelsey's doing all that. - I love you so much. - She was talking about my grandpa. - Like a fucking Matt Rife out here. - Yeah, there's a high person here somewhere. Somebody's super high here, but. - Who's high out here? - Some lady, but she's gone now, don't let me go get higher. - Oh, no, they're getting higher. - That's a song by Creed, you know. ♪ Can you take me higher ♪ - That's too close of an impression. We're gonna get flagged on YouTube tonight. - That's true, they're gonna ding this. We'll be there 9/11 in Dallas for the Creed show. - If anybody's gonna be in Dallas at 9/11, come to Creed with us. - Yeah. - It's gonna be fun time. - Let me check the grassy and rooting. - Rudy Rams is there. - Fucking Rob O'Neill's there. - Rob O'Neill will be there. And then yeah, JFK got shot there, so that's nice. - Comes out. - Yeah, that's JFK. - Big comes. - Big comes. - Big comes. - Oh, you know, I did, so I did Newsmax like a month ago. - Yeah. - And I forgot I had the big comes hat right behind me. - There's like a dick on the table and a big comes hat on the table. They didn't say shit though. - For a full eight minute segment, there's a hat that just says big comes right on News Nation, and it's amazing. - Well, maybe it was something else. - Rob's for JFK. - Good be. - I'm gonna patent that. Starting at a mall. - Rob's for JFK. - JFK, Rob's out, dude. Rob's out. Is it always this hot here, by the way? - Yes, sir. - Is it really? - I'm sweating balls. - God bless it, man. - It's tough for Texas. - It's tough for a fat old man like me. - Would you say porn sweat? - Porn sweat. - Corn. - Oh, corn set. - Is that what it is? - That's not a thing. - Corn sweat is what you're saying. - Not a corn sweat. - It's like sweat. - So Gary's in the house. I got any plans tomorrow. I'm gonna head up to Chicago. - Yeah, so Gary's going to the south side of the city. - No, I'm just kidding. - They're going to the north side to do interviews tomorrow night. - So Gary goes, when we walked in, he goes, hey, what you guys are doing this interview, can I take your car and go to Chicago? And I go, no, it's two and a half hours away. And he goes, I'm just getting a tattoo, and then I'll be right back. And I go, Gary, by the time you get back, it'll be 4 a.m. We have a flight tomorrow out of Chicago. We got to be there like 10, 30 and he goes, oh no, you're good. This is good. - I mean, you don't give him a prison tattoo. - You don't let a man who doesn't have a functioning shower borrow your car. - No, no, no, no. And he's not insured on it for Christ's eggs. Now that you're seeing him here, what a piece of shit. Look at this guy. - He's a fine specimen of a man. - Is he? - I think so. - Is he? - Body by meth? - It does not do injustice. - It's body by meth. No, come on in here, Gary Bear. It's how to say what? - What? - No, come on in, Gary Bear, you're good. Nah, you're good. Come on in here, Gary Bear. Sit on down. You can sit on down. You can swap out with Tim Morris. - Yeah, swap out. - Peace out. We love you, OG Homie. We appreciated Gary Bears here. Look at you and your fucking element. - By the way, this Gatoradee's drinking also has Red Bull on it. - Yes. All right, what the fuck do you want? - It's fucking disgusting. How many pills are you on right now? - None. - 'Cause that's a lie. - I'm Stanford sober, Ross. Stanford sober? What the fuck does that mean? - It's just a bunch of amphetamines and coffee. - Wouldn't that be like Nazi sober? - And steroids. - Yeah, I guess I am on the Nazi diet. - There you go. - It's coffee and fucking out of all. - Yeah, that's all it is, dude. You're ready to get back out there. - I'm fucking ready to go. It's getting the energy up, Randy. Somebody take their dick out. - We got a mustache guy talking shit over there. I like that. - Do you, is there a dick you want to see though in the crowd right now? - No. - There's not one? - No, there's not much. - Maybe his. Like I feel like, yeah, I feel like I could trust your cock, but I don't feel like I could trust anybody else's. - Take it out. Give me that. - Yeah, your wife's here. Maybe Gandalf over there, just in case she's got something weird going on. - I know. I like it, dude. - Gandalf, the game. - I feel like if there's another assassination attempt, it's him. - No, he's deflecting. Now he's deflecting. - He's got that resting J6 space. - I love it, dude. - Yeah, we're almost ready to fucking just pop into Pelosi's office right now. - Pretty much everybody here has got resting J6 space. - Oh yeah, for sure. - Dude, I got the best time to sleep ever last night. - You're 13 hours. - I slept in the bathtub. - But why in the bathtub? - Well, I got four hours in the tub, and then I got, I'm probably like another 10 in the bed itself. - Okay. - I was so fucking beat from doing the show that I actually literally passed out in the fucking bathtub. - Really? - Oh, like you were taking a bath? - Yeah. - You're a grown man. - You're a grown man taking a bath. That's a fucking problem. - Well, I got bad knees. - You almost witnessed yourself last night. - What do you think of yourself last night? - You're a fucking seven minutes and take a shower, asshole. - Dude, oh, have you, what do you, all right, first of all, don't attack me on the show. - The second of all, why do you think we brought you up here? - No, I take a bath because I got bad knees. Dan, I gotta let him rest. - No. - All I do when I'm awake is pace around. I take a bunch of fucking math pills every day, and I try to get the show out because it's just me and him. You won't even give us an assistant editor. - I'm the one that told you you needed an assistant editor. - You did say that. - Yes. - You piece of shit. - And it just said that. - That is true. - And also, you almost witnessed Houston yourself in a bathtub in Champaign, Illinois. (laughing) - Well, now you say it out loud. It sounds crazy. - It sure does, doesn't it? - I'll be fine dude, I used to do it all the time. - Yeah, no, I bet you did, Gary. - What's your 11 for on your shoulder there? I never noticed that. - No, that's not for 9/11. - Is there a nine on the other shoulder? - That's why he's got the cap. - And then there's a plane on your chest. - I'll never forget, dude. - And there's two towers on each of my feet. - Now it is my lucky number. - How much do we have to pay you to get a full twin tower all down your back? - Not for sale, Ross. - You are for sale. What a price. - Not a sale. - What if it was a glider plane with the fucking window open and a dude has his arm out hanging out of the window? - John McAfee. - Yeah, John McAfee hanging out of the window. - All right, you guys are selling me a little bit. - How much for the entire back? A 9/11 memorial where it's the two twin towers again. We got that guy. - Remember the German guy that mean that went around for a while he supposedly took a picture with the plane in the background? - Oh yeah. - He was standing out on the terrace there. - What the fuck are you talking about? - Oh yeah. - It doesn't matter. Just get a 9/11 tattoo. - Nah, no, I can't do it, dude. - Yes, for $9,011, could you do it? - Nah, I can't do it. You know why I can't do it? Because you won't let me borrow the fucking rental car. - You're not getting a tattoo tonight. - Gary, think about it. You could get your kid back for $9,000. - You sure could. Not even fucking close. I spent more than that on the lawyer originally. - 9? - I need like $100,000 to get a good fucking lawyer. - That's not gonna happen. - There's a lot of evidence against me. - 91,100. - It wasn't $100. - You know the irony is we're creating more of it right now. - Yeah, this will all be used against me. - Yeah, for sure. - I told you guys what they said, right? They rolled in one of those old fucking TVs like you looked at in like Spanish class in 1999. - Yeah, the belt. - You know, where they make you watch those shitty videos and then they rolled those in and they were like, is it true that you refer to your house as blowjob headquarters? Like that has anything to do with me being a good dad 'cause I get a little bit ahead every once in a while. - Give me a fucking break. - Well, I think it's the fact that it was processed. - Yeah, they also said that I ran a whorehouse out of my house. - I think it was in the blowjob itself, but the whores. - Yeah, there was a lot of talk of whores. - The literal, the literal whores, Gary. - Yeah, really? - Sorry, I'm super lost now. Were you actually running a whorehouse out of your house? 'Cause it seems like you were. - No, no. - It seems like there was whores everywhere. - We were buying and paying for whores and your prostitutes. - Lie, deny, counter-acuse. - Yeah. - No, I wasn't doing that. - That's what they were doing. - You were probably doing that. - Yeah. - Well, it's obvious that my baby mama was not running a whorehouse, so I didn't counter-acuse. - You don't know how could you say that? There are more madams than there are pimps. - That's true. - It's in the fucking Bible, dude. - Yeah, it really is. It really is. By the way, that woman who was high earlier is getting funnel cakes over there. - Oh, she's over there, Gary. - Oh, she over there? - Yeah. - Look at her. - Now she's drinking. - I was not running a whorehouse out of my complex. - Okay. - Out of my compound. - That's really specific. - Yeah. - It sounds like you work, Gary. - You guys are not doing anything. - There's a lot of necessary information there to make it big. - Well, I just want to make it known. - Yeah. - All right. We appreciate it. - I believe you. - Garber Street gonzo, you guys are filming in Chicago tomorrow night. What's the episode you have coming out tomorrow? - We got the serial killer coming out tomorrow. It's been, I mean, covering us for two years. - The rainy street ripper. - We actually, look, the rainy street ripper, we actually went down there. I told you about this. I sent down my location 'cause I was actually a little bit worried about what was gonna happen. We got some night vision. We went down there and checked it out and actually found some really weird shit seriously. - Yeah. - It sounds fucking ridiculous, actually. But it was nuts. - You went with our buddy Kyle Serifen, who was the former FBI agent, right? - Yeah. - But he's been on the show before. He's a good dude, great guy. - We dug into some stuff with him. We got his, you know, professional opinion on what he thinks about the murders and whatnot. He said there's one where this guy allegedly shot himself in the head. - Okay. - But like this, and then there's no gun on the scene. It just doesn't make any sense. And he confirms that that we're not just conspiracy theorists that it actually really doesn't make any sense. And so we got that. I actually go to the hospital in this episode. - Jesus Christ. - When I went deaf in my ear, remember that? - Oh yeah, you got like 30 or 40 ounces of fluid drained out of your head, right? - Dude, it was insane. It was very painful. - What was it from? I don't know. - I don't know. - Yeah, I guess it was just a severe ear infection. I couldn't hear. And then next, so the next episode is this. This is going to be in it. - Yeah. - We're doing the tailgate and then we're going downtown Chicago. We might try to, you know, barely touch the south side. I'm actually a little bit scared to do that. - Okay. - Maybe just drive through it and lock the doors. - Drive slow, honey. - What did you say? - The black guy says it's not bad. - The black guy says it's not bad. - The black guy says it's not bad. - We'll definitely not go. - We'll be in the groggle. - Yeah. - Jesus Christ. - Check out street guns on tomorrow. Roggle, come on up. - Give me a sign. - Come on up, Roggle. No, I'm good. - Okay. - Definitely don't need that. Definitely don't need that, Gary Bear. Whoever's got Adderall in the audience. Go ahead and feed that to the monkey. And you're all good to go. - Oh shit. - God damn it, dude. - Make sure that's monkey and then the black guy. - Make sure that switches up. - There you go. - Boom. - There you go. Roggle. - Joel, what's up, man? Son of a bitch, dude. - What's up, man? - What's up, man? You're a world famous Roggle Hamilton. For years, I called you Rogel. - That's my name. - Is it? - Yeah, it's my name. - I told you that. - He told you that. - You called it Roggle. I called it Roggle. - I called him Roggle. - I thought Roggle was the correct one. - Absolutely not. - It's Rogel? - Yes. - And I'm still fucking that up? - Yes. - That's some black shit, though. You know that, right? - No, it's actually French. - No, it's French. - Don't fuck me. - God damn it. - No, it's French. - Are you French? - No, I'm Jamaican. Just like Kamala Harris, dude. - Just like Kamala Harris. - Yeah. - So, did you hear what happened today? - No, I did not know what happened. - But only had to sit down interviews since she worked at McDonald's. - Okay. - The management at McDonald's. Looked through the record. - The CEO. - We've never had her as an employee. - Yeah. - Maybe she worked at parking lot. - She could have. - She probably, I mean, that's her track record, right? - Yeah. - So we're parking itself. - No, no, no. - No, no, no. - Oh shit. - She was sucking dick in the McDonald's parking lot. - Probably sucking dick in the-- And that's fine. - I'm not judging her on that. - You can't. - I can't, right? - Yeah, I'm not. - 'Cause I'm not a-- - Not with a mustache like that. - Well, I'm a fireman. I have to have a mustache. I can't have a beer. - Sure, yeah. - I can't have a beer, but I have to-- - Where do you live at? Are you close here? - Two hours. Norquist, Indiana. - Okay, right on. - Yeah, Lake County, Indiana. I'm not saying the actual town, but I'm in, anybody from Indiana, I'm a good side of Indiana in Lake County. - Gotcha. Have you been to an Illinois game in a while? - Never. - It's been a long time for me, so I'm looking forward to it. - Oh yeah, I'm stoked. I had no idea that we had tickets. I just came here for this and all. - I told you, man, like in the Facebook and on the shows, I said, look, we got free tickets. So pretend I'm running on Facebook just for-- - What do you listen to the shows? Like, you just come, you know, free tickets, free booze. We got about 40 people sitting with us. - Yeah. - We got two rows that were running out for all drinking bros. - Uh-huh. - I think we're on the 10 or 15 yard line, which is nice. - Yeah. So 10 to my third, 85. - Congratulations. - Thank you. How old are you? - 85. - 85, so what is that? - 39, a couple days. - 39, a couple days, yeah. - Yeah, 39, a couple days, yeah. - Shit, roggo. - Yeah. So I came down here to start it off and then every year we have a big barbecue on my house for the family and shit. I get to big bounce house for the kids and have a good time. So yeah. - Is that rocks? Where's your wife at? - She is at the gym. - Right now? - At the gym right now, yeah. - She's like, I'm not doing this bullshit with you. - No, she's a little bit more liberal than I am. We have the same views on a lot of stuff, but some things we don't align with, but that's fine. It's not a big deal. - When you're listening to this show, does she like, what the fuck, bro? - So if I listen to it at home, usually it's when I'm cooking in the kitchen. I got an Alexa screen, so I'll put it on and listen and she walks right the fuck out. - Okay. - Yeah. - She's like, dude, I can't hear this shit. - Yeah. - Well, I'll have, I'll say Rosie, I got to finish this and then we'll turn out some music, whatever. - I like that. - But she usually laughs as her ass off. It's funny. It's a funny show. - Yeah. - But she usually laughs, laughs her ass off. It's awesome. - And at the end of the day, anybody can vote for whoever they want to yourself, fuck it. - I mean, yeah. But how does she feel about Chippy? - Who? - Chippy. - She has a heart that. Chippy in the bit? - Chippy in the bit, dude. - Yeah, she has a heart that, yeah. - I think she would love it. - Yeah, I think it'd be funny as fuck. It's just a mildly retarded girl with a, with a bit in her mouth named Chippy. - Well, yeah, but she, because she was misbehaving, correct. - Yeah. - So, it's not for no reason. - It's not for no reason. - Yeah. - So I'll always tell her, you know, I got to knock her down to pick her too, you know, I'm going to take away her driving rights and voting rights here pretty soon, but you know. - And you should. - I should, yeah. - You should. - As a man of the house, I should, you know. - Well, dude, we appreciate being here. Thanks for coming out. - I love it. Thank you guys for having us. - We're having some more people. Can you come up? Am I allowed? - Well, that's short, if you're going to come up. - She has a good job. - Oh, she's got a good job. She's like, "Yeah, I can't be on this shit show." - Our son, our son, though, is... - No, he's underage. - He's... Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. They've got a kid that goes to school here. Another one. - Another one. - That goes to University of Illinois. We appreciate it. Thanks for coming up. Who else we got back there? You, sir. Come on up. Yeah, no. Gandalf. - Look at you. Looking at you, J6. Come on up, dude. Come on up here. Come on, dude. Look at you. - What's your wizard robe on and get up here? - You guys can't see this off camera. He just gave somebody a zip ties and he said, "Save these for the capital. Save these for the day after the election." I was like, "All right, cool. Look at you. So fucked up. You can't even get in here. You're a bear of a man." Look at that. Welcome to the show. Cheers, man. We got the mic on there. Boom. There it is. - There you go. We got a second. - Good. - We're blocked to the next like hour. We'll be fine. - All right. Tell everybody your name. - Oh, Brian. If you're in the chat, Newners, I'm pyro. - Yeah. - Pyro's in the house. - Pyro's in the house. - Yeah. - Pyro's in the house. - I'm not going for the record. This stuff's good, but I'm not going for the record. I'm not doing 15. - So 14 was the new record. - Yeah. - His name was Connor Chisholm. - Say his name. - We say it like Fight Club. - Say his name. - Yes. - Say his name. His name is Connor Chisholm. - I can verify that. Dan can verify that. We counted the cans. Watch him. He did drink 14. - No, these are 16 ounces. - No, these are 16 ounces. - He's still alive today. That's what everybody needs to know. - Unknown. - Okay. It doesn't matter. He still didn't laugh. - TBD. How long you been listening to the show? - Day one, brother. - Oh, fuck yeah, dude. We appreciate it. - Garage days, man. - Oh, shit. - That was still one. - Yeah. - Pagging. Weird, right? - Hey, man. - Now we're here. We got fucking booze in the stadium. Weird times. - It's Illinois. - Yeah, it's Illinois. - Okay. - Yeah. - I like it. Do you live here? - Unfortunately, yeah. - We're at. - Do we just get invited to a party? - In Wisconsin. - Okay. We're not. - Do we get invited to a event? - Yeah. - He's from Illinois. - From Illinois. - Yeah. - And the Illinois is all about pagging. - Yep. - I left though. - Oh, I see. - And then had it come back. - So you weren't inviting us to some kind of party later. That's what you're saying? - You invited yourself. I mean, we did. We did. - There's that. - Is your wife here? - Yeah. - Where is she? - She's using one with the other camera in her face. - Right there. Boom. - So what that, that's called is a segue. Bring her on up. - Oh, boom. - Bring her on up on the show. - Newers. - That way she doesn't have to just do it. Come on up. You were here early. You were helping us out with a tailgate. Huge round of applause. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Welcome to drinking, bros. - Hi. I don't know who you are. I'm just kidding. I actually know all of you. - Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Thank you for coming early and help setting up. - Absolutely. - We needed a nice mom here. - You know what? I'm a great mom with great boobs. - Look at that. - That's fine. - I mean, show the audience, obviously. I'm kidding. - Hold on. - I'm kidding. There it is. Your husband's trying to take a picture. - I can't put it all on social media, but I can put it all out there. - You can't put it all out there. Look at you. - It's only Triple D's. It's fine. There's bigger. - Naturals. - 50%. - Proud of you. Any thought of getting them chopped off? I've always said it's like slapping God in the face. - No, but I did learn my lesson on buying on Victoria's Secret Online and not actually going into the store because I like their bras, but I bought one that I'm wearing now that's pink and it fits me very, very well and we're bikers. So we do a lot of writing and last year we did about 40,000 miles and so I bought another bra that was a push up and I just wanted a little talk like just like perk them up on my birthdays on Sunday. - Happy birthday. - I'm almost 40. - Okay. - I'm 38. - See what you want in a little part? You want a little touch up? - I just want to perk up and then I put it on and I was really afraid if we hit a bump or a railroad check I would come home with a black eye and it wouldn't be from any reason why. - Sure, sure. I get it. - Yeah. This one was going to like beat me in the face or something. I don't know. - Where do you guys bike to? - There. So we actually own a non-profit called Bikers with Hearts Charity. - Yes. I had the pin up here. It's on the table right there. - Yep. - So what we do is we donate 100% of our profits back. We are a 501(c)(3) out of Genoa City, Wisconsin so that way it doesn't get confused. And we work really hard for corporate sponsorships which I'm trying to work with you guys to be a corporate sponsor. - For hard AF Seltzer? - Yeah 100%. - We're getting there. We're still working on it obviously. - See you. - I'll work you hard. It's fine. - I know. - Look, we're doing another round of funding through We Funder pretty soon. - Oh, don't worry. I will be up your asshole as hard as a hemorrhoid. It's fine. - And look, we appreciate it because everybody comes out, takes pictures, do all this shit. Like for real, we don't mind. - Yeah, no. I'm a 100% business person. I want to earn the respect and I want to earn what we do in the community. We are very big with our chamber, which is called Chain of Lakes Chamber. We're based out of Genoa City, but we live in Richmond, Illinois, which is 4 1/2 hours north. - Okay. - So that's why my holes are a little bit long-gated because I'm by Wisconsin. We have a cute little town. I do photography, so I do a lot of like, cutesy senior pictures and stuff, like fun, lifestyle documentary stuff. But we do a lot of our rides for kids, so we do thousands, thousands of miles a year. And I look, and I know that you're doing it for kids, but in the meantime, he also needs a photographer. He wants to take some photos of himself kind of nude on a big white dog, like never-ending story. - You know what, weird? - Can you shoot that? - I have a dog over in Jacino. She's white. You wouldn't have to be able to wear a hat or sunglasses because then she gets wonky. But she loves beards and she likes your shin. You're all in, baby. - If she likes what? Your shin. - If she licks your shin, that's means she likes you. - God. But is anybody ever asked you to shoot weird shit? - Shoot weird shit? - Yes. - Absolutely. - What's the weirdest thing ever asked you to do? - A speedo calendar for a gay man. - For a gay man? - Yes. - Okay. - And he wouldn't do a phone console. That's red flag number one, apparently. But yeah. And then he wanted to add his partner, which was six people. - Okay. - But he wouldn't specify male or women. - So just gay orgy, then. - I mean, I'm all in. If you pay me the money. I mean, the dollar price goes up and I just can't post it. Just social media. - So what ended up happening? These dudes ended up fucking in front of you? - No. None of it. - Just shooting dogs? - No. Because when my husband that was here previous, I said, well, my husband has to come. And he goes, is he a part of the pictures? And I said, no, he's just there for security reasons, for safety reasons, to make sure we're in 65 acres of wooded land that is secluded. And they're like, wait. So he's coming. And I said, yeah, I want to make sure I'm not getting kidnapped. - Which would happen? - Yeah. - Yeah. With a bunch of dicks out and a bunch of dudes and you're taking weird photos. - Don't get me wrong. I'm all for a vacation, three hats and a cot, or however that saying goes. - Sure. - I'm all in for that. But yeah, no, I don't, I don't want to see a bunch of that. I mean, I'll do it, but I would rather actually have, which is upcoming, like sexy photos on motorcycles for a bunch of my biker friends. - Okay. Is it dudes or girls? - Girls. - Okay. Girls. - And they're hot as fuck. - Nice. - I think I can swear, right? - Yeah. You can swear it. You can say whatever you want on this show. - Yeah. No, these are, these are fire women. These are like, I mean, I'm a, I got big tojas, but these are like perfectly proportionate women. They are cute. Their husbands are kind of scary, but these are like the bitches that the husbands stand back and they're like, if you want to fight, go fight. And I'm like, I'll stand behind you. Let's go. - Look at you guys and then where are you guys biking next? - So this is actually because my birthday is on Sunday. - Yep. - So this is the start of my five day week. I am actually in the medical field. So I scribe for dermatology. I'm a retired paramedic. I did that for about eight years until I got burnt out and then my kid's almost seven, my kid is 17, almost 18 now. And I needed something more like nine to five stuff. But skin cancer is a real thing. Like that's pretty hardcore and you hear really sad stuff. But our next big trip, so we have a ride coming up 9/14, we are benefiting Children's Wisconsin, 100% of any proceeds, even if you don't ride and you want to come join us, by all means, I will take your money. Everybody's money is green. We are starting at two brothers in Genoa City and it's for childhood cancer awareness and research for Children's Wisconsin. That is a nice five stop. We do about 45 minutes. But for a nice biking trip where there's no strings attached, we're just going to go. - Yeah. - We're actually going to Tennessee. - No shit. - Yeah. - You ever go to Sturgis? - No. I don't really, I don't like people. I love for a time. - I understand. He doesn't like people either. Yeah. I don't even want to be here right now. - Yeah. You know what? I took his annex before meeting you guys. - No way. - Yeah. No, 100% and I just. - It is not working. I'm kidding. - Yes, this. It's hard AF. - Yeah. - It kicked in. And I will let me just testify to this. Hard AF 100% works on the Asian liver. So have you have Asian Flushing Syndrome? This works. - Here to go. - 100%. - It's on that show. - Because I haven't wanted to take five Ben and Jules. - Yeah. A lot of niezers are allergic to alcohol. - They sure are. A lot of people don't know that. That's real. - Yeah. A lot of people are. Garber has got his shirt off back there smoking. Did you see these women are questioning who you are? Is he wearing underwear right now? Jesus Christ. - I have shorts actually shorter than him. I was thinking about bringing and shoring. - I love it. I love it. You should. You should. - I should have. I wasn't sure. So I wore this shirt and set. - Are you good to go? - Yeah. I mean, it's my most passive aggressive shirt. - I love it. We appreciate you being here. - Yeah. Well, if you're bored on Sunday, I know it's Labor Day. - We're going tomorrow. Yeah. We're out of here. We're in Georgia. We're in Atlanta, Georgia. We're in the Clemson, Georgia game on Saturday. - Well, if you guys are ever in the area, we live in Richmond, Illinois. We can take you to a nice Irish bar and I already actually, I'm sorry, I'm not remembering. I've actually hit my head a couple times. I actually put a duel out to you guys. - A what? - I put a duel out on your social media and I said, if you come to my town, I'll drink you. - Oh boy. That's not going to happen. I mean, you're not going to make it through today. I said I would pay the tab. I said, you're going to drink this. I said, you have to come to my town. - Sure. But I'll bring this and then, you know, you're going to have to keep up. - I know that's you. That's fine. - All right. - Bet. - All right. Sounds good. Sounds good. - Deal. - That's on camera. - Cheers. Come on up, sir. Come on up. Yes. Yes. You come on up, sir. - Thank you for being here. - Yeah. - Thank you for being here. You're a specimen of a man. Are you a cop? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Put the microphone about an inch from your face. - All right here. - Oh, there it is. There it is. There we go. - There's your boy right there. - Yeah. - She's right there. She's hot. - Yeah, bring it up here. - Is she the high one? - Yeah. She is the high one. - Dude. You'll never make it to the game tonight. You'll never make it to the game. I love it. I love it. Tell everybody what you do. - Uh, I can't. - Fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire. - I'm a fire cop. - First responder. - I'm the first responder. - Yeah. He fights cops. - You fight cops? - I fight cops on a regular basis. - Good. Good. Where do you live at? - Here. - Oh, no shit. So you're in champagne. - Oh, we're in champagne. - What's the crime rate like here? - Mm hmm. - Good or bad? - Yeah. - Huh? - Do you say? - Okay, good. Good. - Yeah. - Dan and I were driving in and we were wondering. - Yeah. - You turned down the wrong street. You're like, oh, this is not where I'm supposed to be, but there's other streets where it's all shorter. - So we tested you not too long ago, Dylan did, over there. What was the... - I'm hammered. - I don't know. - That's fine. - Yeah, I'm down with that. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You're all done talking? - Yeah. - How many... How many party I've seen you had? - Five? - Shut the fuck up. - That's a lot. - Well, five and 16 ounces, how many at 8%, what is that? - Eight and a half is 13. - Oh my God. - So am I good? - So you're getting there, yeah. - Yeah, 13. - I think so. Eight and a half is 13. - Holy shit. So you're close, man. - Yeah. - Men, when we leave the house, it's phone, wallet, keys, how is my hair look? But if you're experiencing hair loss, you may not be so confident when you step outside your door. It's time to get that confidence back and restore your hair with hymns. No man wants to lose his hair, but for men, it's actually very common. And now with hymns, the solution is simple. Try hymns hair loss solutions. You'll be joining hundreds of thousands of subscribers who got their flow back. Man real talk, the only thing worse than losing your hair is waiting forever for it to grow back. That's why you need hymns. And you can start seeing your hair grow back in as little as three to six months. 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Results may vary based on studies of topical and oral, minoxidil, prescription products require an online consultation with a health care provider, but will determine if a prescription is appropriate. Restrictions apply, see website for full details and important safety information. You're fine. We're fine. It's fine. You're three away. I think she's fine. How high is she? What does she take? Addibles? Ah, all of them. Oh, did she really? Yeah, he's at about eight right now. What's your milligram count? Where are you at today? It's 150. She's got track marks all on her arms, dude. Yeah, she's getting rough. Man, she's been doing the weed. You've got a real junkie wife over there, dude. Shooting up between her toes. She's wearing sandals right now, I can see it. Just so she can get to the toes. Yeah. And you don't want the track marks on your arm for everybody else. Yeah. Shooting up between your toes. God damn it. Even underneath the nail bed sometimes. Yeah. You hate to see it, dude. You hate to see it. Trump talks about it all the time and then where she's living it. That's just a normal white mom and then boom, track marks right between your toes. Like that. Son of a bitch, dude. And you're a first responder, yeah. You know what? You better bring her back to life. Yeah. God bless. Yeah. God bless. And prayer's up for Emily. Yeah. Is Emily? No. No. Prayers up for Krista. There we go. Prayers up for Krista. Guys, if you're in Illinois and you see a woman walking around with track marks between her toes. What did Emily? Is that just a generic white woman? Yeah, just made that up off the top of my head here. I mean, that's a good guess. Yeah. It felt right. Ashley, Emily, it's one of those. It felt right in the moment. Come on up, sir. Yeah. Yeah. You come up, dude. Yes. I need to get my boy up here. Love you. You came up earlier. We were raging. We were pounding some fucking 16-ounceers together. You got to get up physically out of the chair. He's going to have a hard time tonight. There's no way he makes it into the stadium. He'll be fine. He'll be fine. There you go. There you go. A glass of water. He'll be fine. Look at these two. Oh, boy. Look at these two. We're really doing it. Hang on. Hang on. You're on the mic. There you go. There it is. Tell everybody your name. Dylan Holloway. Dylan Holloway. Fuck off. Yeah. I smell it right. He smells it wrong. He's got an A in Holloway. Yeah. We got Ellis Island. Is that what it is? Yeah. They just changed it at the island. Yeah. No shit. It's the same family, though. Do you know him? No. Okay. No. Basically the same. Yeah. Basically the same. Put that an inch from your face. There you go. Where do you live at? I live in Muhammad, which is like the next town over. Muhammad. That one's called? Muhammad. No shit. Yeah. I've never heard of it. With a T. It's next town over. Small town? Yeah. He's trying to live there? Try that shit in a small town, motherfucker. So he was having snipers point guns at us earlier. Some shit. Oh, shit. They're up there in the roof right now. No way. Is that them? Oh, look at them. Holy shit. They're up there. Look at that. And if they're further away from Thomas Matthew Crook. Farther. Yeah. Whatever. Farther away from Thomas Matthew Crook. They could get a better shot here than they could have Trump. So yeah. Absolutely. Holy shit. Are you in the police? Yeah. Oh, no shit. So you know those guys? We got hired at the same time. Yeah. Wow. Look at you. How's the area? Everything on the up and up? Yeah. Boy. It could be better. Every city, Dan and I go, do we hear the same thing with police? They're like, hey, it could be better. Absolutely. Could be better. What? More funding? More funding. More officers would be great. Okay. We're working on it. You're working on it right now? Yeah. How long have you been on the force? It'll be 10 years like next week. No shit. We're both of us. We came together with the Academy together. Oh, you did? Yeah. Congratulations. Look at that. You guys went to the Academy together. It doesn't look like you have any homosexual tendencies, which I like. I like it. Cause it's not like you're sitting on each other's laps. He's about to fall off. He's all bricked up. Can you work him like a pilot before? Oh, yeah. The game even starts. It's all boys and I get too fucked up that he wouldn't remember this and he's about that. Well, luckily there'll be fucking video evidence of this. So you're able to go back. Cause you're not going to remember the game at all. I know I'm not. I don't even know who you are. Spread is 49 points. It doesn't mean well. Yeah, that's sports. I don't know what that means. Yeah, that's sports. And that's just sports, you know? And it is what it is. Absolutely. We appreciate you being here. How about you, sir? Come on up. There it is. You got the old school A-pack shirt on. Come on in, dude. Come on in. There's no way all three of us are thinking that. No, not at all. We'll see. Look, you're double fizzed in 16 ounces. I'm about to be. That's rough. Yeah. I probably ought to talk into the microphone, right? Yeah. You got to talk into it. No, you're a puree guy. I am. Did your dad work for Caterpillar? How the hell did you get more than puree? So he went to Bradley University. Okay. And, uh... On purpose? You know, when was I born? '93, so yeah. I think you graduated in '92. '67, I think it was the year you were born. No, I'm not graduating. I'm 33. Same age as Jesus. I've got young features. I'll probably get sex traffics after this game, but that's how young I look. Uh, but yeah, that was the connection to Peoria. And then he was his first gig was he was a news anchor for the Peoria news here. I'll be darned. Yeah. Okay. So he did sports and then back then you didn't have to have a meteorology degree. They just put you on screen and put the lower third up that said meteorology on there. So I did that too. You gotcha. Yeah, I'm puree guy. Are you really? Originally, yeah. No shit. I literally just moved back from, uh, Houston, like six weeks ago. Okay. I got a job, uh, over in, uh, Indiana. How do you like it better than Houston? Oh, fuck me. This place sucks. Oh. More than Houston? Uh, yeah. Houston's not bad. Houston has great food. Yeah, north side of Houston's pretty dope. I was in the woodlands for a long time. Yeah. And only for a bit. And, uh, I was over, uh, I literally had a Houston address, but it was north northwest side. Not far from the only problem is, is fucking, isn't a, uh, I pass McCain, your congressman up there. Yes. Crenshaw that pieces against him. I think there's only D on the ballot that, you know, I voted, but yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's really funny to shit. Fuck him. Hey, Rogel, you got two more black friends. Where? Bring him in behind camera. Yup. Let us let the audience know. Let the audience know we're not racist. Okay. Bring him in. Let him know. It's on, uh, DEI. Yup. We got it. It's a DEI podcast now. So we got diversity, equity, inclusion back here. Cheers, gentlemen. Yes, sir. Cheers. Thanks for being here. How long have you been black? Your whole life. Okay. Good. Just checking. Because I don't know what the government's doing behind behind the scenes, obviously. You can't trust the government. No. And it looks great on camera again. We haven't had a black eye on the show the entire month. So at least we got the quota. We got three. Should we triple it? Yeah. Give me some fricking brisket, dude. Gary, his Adderall is wearing off over there and he's having a tough time. Brisk. Yeah. Yeah. Brisk it, Gary Bear. Grab some funnel cakes as well while you're out there. I don't care about that. I need protein. I need it. I'll fucking stab you through your heart. Yeah. I swear to God, dude. 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