The Trev and Ben Podcast
244: The Trev And Ben Podcast Episode 244
(upbeat music) - Hello, and welcome to another Trev and Ben podcast. Hello Ben. - Hello Trev, how are you? - I'm all right. It's that time of year though, when I'm ever so slightly on age. - Isn't that all time of year for you? (laughing) - Well, yes, there's some degree. All right, this is the time of year when I'm even more on age than normal. - Why? I mean, it's September the 1st. We're recording this. What, what's wrong with September? - 'Cause we're banging to bloody spider season, aren't we? - Oh. - The spider mating season has just begun. And so it's the time of year when you see that little scurrying bastards across the carpet. And I had one the other night, my first one, you know, 'cause I got away with it the last couple of years. I don't know whether it's because we did work in the house and we've brought up a lot of bad floorboards where maybe they could get up. So it's been all right for a couple of years. And then I was sitting in my living room the other night. And there, it's just at the corner of your eye, isn't it? Just at the corner of your eye, you see the devil incarnate moving at pace across the carpet. And I'm not as terrified as I used to be, but it still makes you go, "Oh, gone!" What's that? And then there's the whole thing of, "I've got to catch it." And you know, I've got a spider catcher. - Yeah, you do. - It's a good little thing, plastic thing with a sort of trap on the end of it. But I did now that in the room I was in. So then you hope it's going to stay in the same place that it's stopped at. Long enough for you to go and get the trap. Luckily, it was still there. And then there's the, you've got to run the gauntlet 'cause even though I'm not as scared as them as I used to be. And I don't want to put a cross that I'm a terrible arachnophobe anymore. I used to be, I'm better, but I still don't want that thing where you miss it with the trap and then it runs towards you. - Now, why not just, you're not going for giving to the spiders and you are the mice. They've got a death sentence, but the spiders get a pass, do they? - They do, yeah, it's very rare. I mean, I'm not saying I've never killed a spider. I don't like to admit that. There was a time when the arachnophobia was at its height when I'm afraid a hoover might have been used. But I don't like to say that. But no, the mice, it's a different thing with the mice. I think the mice, I don't know, I see them as a slightly more, they deserve the death penalty, is what I'm saying. - But the spiders can be left with sort of antisocial behavior order. They're just escorted off the premises. - No, sometimes they get a little prison sentence 'cause if it's late at night, I get them in the trap and the other way you have to go out in the morning. Now, I don't know what the lifespan of a spider is and how time elapses for a spider, sitting in the trap overnight, could seem like years, plenty of time for it to think about what it's done. And then when it's released in the morning in the garden, it can then go and live a new life of freedom away from my property. - I did hear that the ones that just sort of sit in the corner of the room or just hang in a web and wait. They are the females who are waiting for the males to find them. They send out the sort of attraction pheromone or whatever hell spiders do. - Are they like on a podium? Are they dancing? - Yeah. - Like a podium. - It's all sexy spider dance with all those legs, you know, for a male, maybe all those legs are attractive. - So the ones you tend to see sort of dashing across your carpet to try and get to them, they are usually males trying to get to the women. - Right. - Women, females, it's really a bit of worms. (laughing) Trying to get one of their many legs over. - Yes. Now, are you aware of what can happen if you kill a female spider? - Oh, is it the same as like a wasp? Do they give out some sort of pheromone that other spiders come? - No, it's worse. It's so much worse. - Oh, god. - If you kill or splat and if you have, if you had bad arachiphobia, one, why are you still listening, but two, turn this bit off for sure, they can have like a birth sack on them. - Oh, yes, yes. - Full. - Babies come out, yeah. - Ooh, full of thousands and thousands of baby spiders. So you might splat and kill mummy, but then thousands of baby spiders will go scattering across your carpet. (laughing) Now, sleep well, everyone. - Have you seen those? I don't know what sort of spiders they are, but I've seen videos of them. It's almost like they are flashing. - What fun? Is this while they're on the podium? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It looks like they're, they're sort of illuminated, but flashing, if you sort of shine a torch on them. That's just all the babies on the back of the mummy spider just moving and as you say, they're like thousands of them. And it's just because they move, they look like the, the, the mother is sort of flashing. It's a weird thing. - Jesus, if you've got your phone in front of your Google or something, I need you to join my living nightmare when the other day I was handed a box to deliver to a customer. And they had a very cute picture of a little butterfly on the side of it, it was so cute. And it said, live animals inside, please be careful. Hold this way up, all this shit. - Yeah. - So I thought, yeah, yeah, yeah, fair enough. So they had the very cute picture of that butterfly. So I delivered it and I knocked on the door, spoke to the guy, I said, oh, what is it? He said, oh, it's my zebra spider. - Zebra spider. - It's a Google away. - Google away. - Why would they be sending that via Royal Mail? - God knows. - Was he winding you up, do you think? - No, I'm not, I'm not trying to sabotage the Royal Mail, but I did say to him, please order this through Amazon next time because I don't wanna touch this stuff anymore. - Well, I'm sorry, I'm just, just from an animal welfare perspective, what sort of, I mean, there must have been holes in the box for air. I have no idea and my colleague, even, so I'd say, I wonder if there was a hole in that box or, and I said, fuck you, don't start suggesting there was a hole in that box because I've been, for the rest of the day, I think it's on me. Have you any Google what a zebra spider looks like? - I'm just looking at a picture of a zebra spider now. They're not that big though, are they? - Oh, okay, well, couple of weeks later, I get another order with a cute little butterfly on the box, live animals enclosed, please deliver carefully this way up. Same bloke, same bloke, I know what's in this box. - What's he done with the first one? What's happened to the first one? - I don't know, he's not eating them, is he? - Oh, he's not, I have no idea. I got the package to this guy's door. I mean, I get, he didn't just get special delivery. He got special, special delivery. I got this thing first out of the van. I said, no, we're not starting our normal place. We're going directly to this guy's house and getting shots of this box. I knocked on his door, I said, I don't know you. I said, I don't have a fucking box for you. I said, he took it, I said, go on, what's in that one? You know, the two words, he said, that will live with me till my grave. - Go on. - Lava tarantula. - Oh, so it's not another zebra spider. He's building a proper spider community in his house. - If the word tarantula wasn't scary enough, just pop the word lava before it. And I'm not ever saying food into that man's house if he paid me. I know what's inside the house. - Right, I'm going to have to look up a lava tarantula now. - Yes, please do. - Welcome to hell. - By the way, can I just say the zebra spider, just in case you didn't know, is a jumping spider. It's the jump. I definitely had a jumping spider once in, when I was in my flat with a massive spider, right? On the side of the bath, and I was terrified of this thing, and I got a fishing rod. I had a 13 foot fishing rod, 'cause I thought I could be 13 feet away for this thing and poke it. I don't know what I was going to do with it, which is on a poke here, but it changed, yes, I got the fishing rod towards it, it jumped. It leapt, right? And it leapt towards the door, and then ran down a little hole that was in the floor by the door, and never saw it again, but I genuinely saw it leapt, and I didn't know whether it was leaping for me, because it was, I mean, I was 13 foot away, thanks to the fishing rod. I don't think it had that sort of length in its jump, but it certainly was coming towards me, and I didn't like it. Right, I'm looking at the lava. (laughs) Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I looking at these things? - I don't know. I, wait, forget you having to Google it. I had to carry this thing close to my body in a bag thinking, is it in there? Has it escaped? Is it on my head? - Oh, god, they look terrifying. - Yes, they do. (laughs) There's a bright red. They just look dangerous, don't they? - Yes, they do. - Wow. Oh, man. My aunt, who lives in Northern Ireland, she once had a lodger. So she let this man into-- - It was a spider. - No. I mean, it might as well have been, but he said, "Oh, do you mind if I bring my pet?" And she said, "I'll find them all the merrier." Now, this story gets worse. His pet was a bird eating spider, which proceeded to escape somewhere in her house. Now, the only way I'm able to even talk about this story, is because I'm comforted there is a fucking great sea between where we live in Northern Ireland. So I'm kind of okay with it. No, going back to Northern Ireland again, obviously. - I mean, the one thing I would say is the clues in the name bird eating is not gonna eat you. It's not that deep, it's deep. - But by the way, I'm pretty sure the lava tarantula isn't trying to eat me either, but I don't want to be anywhere in here that thing either. (upbeat music) - I've been, I've had a bit of an exciting week in many ways, 'cause it's been a bit of a gaming week. - Ooh, now you know I like games, so what's this a bit about? - Well, first of all, I had my godson come to stay, and we had quite a session on Mario Kart, which I hadn't played for quite some time. - Which Mario Kart? - I can't remember what exactly it's called. It's the one you gave me. - Oh, Mario Kart, Double Dash. - Where you had very kindly unlocked all of the circuits, because the version I had, only had a certain number of circuits unlocked. I used to be fairly good at Mario Kart, but when you haven't played it for years, I don't know where that ability goes. I think a lot happens in your late 40s, where a lot goes out the windows, and a hand-to-eye coordination has completely gone, so I did eventually get a little bit better, 'cause we've played for quite a long time, but he's now beating me, left, right and center, he's winning all the races, but I'm languishing in 12th. If I get up to eight, I'm happy. I think I did finish second in one. - That's appalling. - Eight. - Yeah, I mean, I thought that was quite good. I did win one though, but there was one easy race, and I did win that. The only thing is, Ben, is 'cause I don't play games, 'cause I'll be honest, I find most video games, I know you're a big video gamer, and I'm not having to go out with people who play video games. - Careful. - I find most of them incredibly dumb, and I get incredibly bored very quickly. Mario Kart keeps me a little bit interested, but I start getting sort of repetitive strain injury on my hands and almost blisters on the thumbs, 'cause I don't play very often. It's like my hands are going away. This is out of the ordinary. It's like a guitar player has to build up the, was it the canaces of the hand? I haven't done that for the video gaming. My hands were in a row, I'll stay after a couple of hours of America. - So I'm very curious, because like you say, I did unlock everything for you, so that you could have all the circuits, all the characters, everything. Now, for my own ego, I do need to know, has, and I know it won't have been you, don't get me wrong. Has anyone knocked off one of my top scores yet? Do you know what? I'm not sure we wouldn't even pay any attention to that. I wouldn't even know where to look to see, does it come up at the end? I wouldn't know. - Okay, maybe not, that's fine. I'll just pretend that probably they haven't. - And then last night, I did the latest installment, we've been, I've been learning this game with my friends. It's called Gloomhaven. - Ooh, it sounds almost German, Gloomhaven. It's kind of in the same elk as Dungeons & Dragons. - Did you have always it's how and whether you were playing? - Well, no, I'm a character called the Destructionist. It's kind of my job to get in and attack the monsters first. Well, that's how I see my job. So you have to, it's a card game as a board element to it, but it's a really good game. - There is a part of me that wants to mock you for playing a Dungeons & Dragons style game, but then realizing someone who's dedicated my life to Mario Kart, I don't really have much of a leg to stand on here, do I? - Not really, no. I mean, Gloomhaven, there is a computer game based on the tabletop game. So maybe you could get into the video game version of it. - Okay, I'll look into that. - But I don't know whether you'd need a team of people, probably, this is for four players and you always play the same character and there's lots of level. I mean, it's the most complicated game I think I've ever known. All we're doing at the moment, the first box you buy for the game is like the training version of the game. - Wow. - So you go through the phases, we've just gone through the levels, we've just done level four or scenario four, as they call it. - Sounds like you're joining a cult. - I think it is like being in a cult. - You've got to keep investing in the different levels. You're now on level four. - Never four. - This sounds like a very, this sounds like a cult not far from my front door, if you don't mind me saying. - When in the training box itself, there are 25 scenarios. But the weird thing about it is I did Dungeons & Dragons during lockdown, my friends and I were doing it on Zoom, right? And the weird thing is, how much you really start to merge with your character and come to like your character, 'cause when I was doing Dungeons & Dragons, I was Camran and I was some sort of wizard. - Oh, you weren't doing a voice by you? - I was playing it, 'cause I think a lot of people who do Dungeons & Dragons, I'd never done it as a kid, I'd never done it before. I think a lot of people who do Dungeons & Dragons do a sort of, like if they were doing a wizard, they'd probably do almost like a Gandalf type voice, you know. - You didn't dress up, did you, Trev? - I didn't dress up. I paid Camran as a London gangster. So, I think that was out of the ordinary. I don't think many people had done it like that. So, when I had to speak to the Dungeon Master, I would do it. I remember there was like something where we had to run into somebody and I had to say what we were gonna do. And I think most people go, "Well, we're going to go, "we are going to take one of the monsters." And I just went, "We're gonna go and fuck him up." And I think it's better to play it in that sort of way. But on this game, Gloomhaven, you don't need to act. You don't need to do that sort of thing. But sometimes you can't help it. Sometimes you find a voice coming out. - That first voice you found was somewhere between Brian Blessed and Sean Connery. There was a little touch of that at the end of it. - Washer. - Yeah. - We're going hard to do. We're going for monster. - It's still very strange. - Well, that's probably my audition tape for James Bond. I don't think they picked the new James Bond yet. Maybe that's the, I can send them just the voice. That's all they need to know. - What do we call it? Blessed Connery? (laughing) - Yeah. I'd quite like to be, almost an invisible ball. All you hear is the voice. You never see me. - It'd be a different sort of film. I understand that, but you wouldn't see. - Why, they were spawned. James Bond. - So when you were playing Dungeons and Dragons. - Life runs to kill. (laughing) - Who is there? - I don't think I could be that secret though, 'cause that's what we really loud. - I'm going for the wrong now. - Was there a moment when you sort of, you know, you caught up in the moment and you thought, this is the time I'm just going to unleash the voice naturally. Did your friends look at you on Zoom and think, Trevor, what you doing? Where's that voice come from? Did they encourage you to do the voice? What happened? - The voice just went at what we can run, the wizard. - Yeah. Was it an organic choice that you just got so into it that it just spontaneously burst out of you? - Yeah, I don't really know how it started, but it just felt natural. It just felt natural. - Are you the only one playing who was doing a voice? - No, I think the others were doing voices. - Are you sure? - I think so. (laughing) I mean, it was locked down. It was all a bit mad, wasn't it? I can't really remember. I think I was having some sort of breakdown, probably. - Well, you were playing Wizards and Witchcraft or whatever the fuck. I was busy being a key worker, my friend. So-- - Oh, here we go again. - Yeah, here we go again. - Oh, the poor old posters. (laughing) - I didn't have time for your Dungeons and Witches crap. - I mean, I mean, I think it's amazing the how you've not been awarded by the king. 'Cause it seems like you single-handedly kept the country going. - I did, I mean, what's the highest medal in the land? Is it the George Cross? - Yeah, I think that's given for sort of military bravery, isn't it? - Yeah, I think there should be one above that, just for me. - Right. - Which sort of, which belittles the George Cross. It's even, I shouldn't say that. - Yeah, all those bloody soldiers who died defending their comrades, they did nothing. Try posting some letters when there's no-- - Try posting some Spanish. - Nobody's out and about and I'm in a mad van. We'd have to name the medal after, probably have the postman pat. It would be called the Pat Cross. It would have a little postman's hat on it. Maybe it would have the little van. Postman Pat's little van on that would be the insignia on the medal. - Really? - I'm just, yeah, I mean, well, what else would you have on it? - I feel like you're cheapening the sort of magnitude of this medal that I feel I deserve whilst I was out working hard while you're playing with your witch friends in your little cullen. - You know, like the MBE and the OBE. They're like almost like little brooches, that go on with the little ribbon on. Maybe it would be like a just the cat little thing. And you'd have to go to, I don't think it would be the king giving you that one. I think it would probably be a minor royal. It'd probably get like the Duke of Kent, or something. (laughing) - Come out. (laughing) - I'm also getting in such a tease that I think I just said go and join your cullen. Now I think I meant coven, which is what witches do. The cullen is I think the surname of the vampire family from Twilight. - So what games do you, I mean, you must play, do you ever play any board games? Any other games or just all video games with you? - I haven't played board games for a while. I've talked to you before, I know about this. I've talked to you about the sort of crossover board game slash video experience, which was atmosphere, which I would still love to play with you at some point where the guy jumps out and orders you to stop. I'm not sure where we're going to find a VHS or a copy of that game anymore. But no, I'm definitely more of a video game guy. I'm playing a lot of Resident Evil at the moment. - I think even without knowing what this game is, in my head, and I know this is hugely unfair, but in my head, I'm just gone, I would find that game probably incredibly dull. Is it just running around shooting zombies? That sort of thing. - There's a bit of that to it. There's a bit of puzzle solving. There's, it's a very varied game. There's many different games of it. It's a whole canon. But no, you stick to rolling your dice with your wizard's hat on your funny, fucking Brian, bless you, Sean Connery voice. - I remember years ago, I bought a PlayStation 2. Really, like the two game systems I've got, I've got a Wii and a PlayStation 2. And both of those systems I bought basically for one game each. The PlayStation 2 I bought for Guitar Hero, back in, oh God, probably 20 years ago, ish. - Not a bad choice. - And Wii for Mario Kart. And then of course, you buy other games over the years where you get ahold of other games, people game with some PlayStation games once. And I ended up with, what's the grand theft auto? - All good game. - And I thought, oh, well, this is a game that everyone talks about. I will put this on and give it a go. Now again, this is more about me than the game itself, because I never understand how you're playing, I think that's a game part of my problem, is I just don't understand how you're playing these games. And I remember playing grand theft auto. And for most of it, I didn't have a car and I was just running round, running round a road, doing nothing, occasionally being hit by somebody. I think when I had the clue is in the name, you could have just stolen any passing car, grand theft auto. - Yeah, but the problem was, I could work out, you can get in the car. I got the cars and I was just sort of, my legs were sort of kicking and I couldn't get in the car. And I think it's right now. And I thought, this is just shit, I'll just do it. - This was on a PlayStation, I'm pretty sure triangle would have opened up any car do. - There's too many buttons on that bloody thing, I could run anyway. - And you try any of them, you just came up? - I think I might have worked out, but I think by the time I'd worked out, I was so bored and fed up with the whole thing, I ducked. - The problem with grand theft auto is if you don't know how to play it, if you don't know how to get from mission to mission, which gives you something to do and achieve, then you will just be running around. - Yeah, that's what I've done. - But if you can't even get into the cars to get to the mission, then you've got truly no hope. And you can just go around punching people and running them over, but without any missions or any real purpose, that novelty of that wears off quick. - Yeah, I think I gave up after an hour or so, that was enough for me. And you couldn't figure out how to get into a car for an hour. - Yeah, I don't know, it just seemed interminable, just running around. I think I went in a couple of bars, I think there was a strip joint, I'd spent 20 minutes in there, and that's a general waste of my time. And then I've got another game on the, I bought this game for the Wii a while back, several years ago now, the Professional Arts Corporation game. So you could play darts with the Wii, right? And I got that game out for my godsons a few weeks ago, when they were over, 'cause they're into their darts now, they're like the darts, and I said, "Oh, I've got a game." I'd forgotten how shit it was. I mean, it is dreadful. You can't, I don't know how, we couldn't work out how you throw it. You've got to use the Wii controller to sort of throw the dart. I don't know, and then the game crashed three times. And I thought, I'd probably spent like 40 quid on this game. - You couldn't bought a real dart boss. - I know, absolute rubbish. So computer games to me that I just don't really do that. I play Maricott, my god, children. They play Star Wars Lego on the Wii, and he had the little game of that when he was with me the other day. But I said, "Oh, I'll just watch it." 'Cause again, that's a game I've never worked out. I don't know how you do anything on that game. I just thought, "No, I'll just watch you do your thing." You know what you're doing? - You sound like an old man who's unwilling to learn how technology works. You just assume, "I can't do this, so I'll just watch the children play." You don't want to put the effort into working out yourself lazy. - No, but I think what I now understand, 'cause I remember when I was a kid and I had the spectrum, you know, that was the height of technology when I was a kid. I remember like asking my nan and my granddad to play, I think probably like Emily Hughes soccer with me on the spectrum. And I couldn't quite understand how they couldn't play it. You know, they just couldn't work it out. And now I'm of that age where the younger generation are doing their thing on the computers and they go, "Oh, Trevor, play this game." And I don't, I think you just get to make sure you say, "I can't be asked to learn this. God, I've got more important things to be doing." But I understand if that's part of your thing, 'cause I can't see you ever getting to that point. I think you're maybe your different generation, maybe a different mindset. I think even when you're 70, even 80, Ben, I think you'll be on top of the gaming technology. - I hope so. I mean, I have sort of forced you a little bit into the world of virtual reality and we've played bomb diffusal games. That was quite fun. You managed to get to grips with that? - Yeah, no, I mean, I think the virtual reality thing is probably gonna be obviously the way forward with gaming. I find the mask a bit much more. I can't have that one for long. - I know. - I found it very disorientating, and very hot, I seem to remember it. They've got to put air con on both of them. For the money you'll buy, you'll pay for them. They should be air conditioned, 'cause it gets baking. - I really had to hold your hand through how that game worked as well. It was like when you see a chimpanzee opening up a box with a mirror inside of it. Yeah, it was really difficult. - Well, I mean, it's so disorienting. You know, I prefer games where you don't have to worry about that. That's why, like, the board game thing. You can just sit down and crack on. - Do you ever play chess? - I have played a few games of chess. I'm not very good at it, but it's a fun game. - The gloom haven game, it is a strategy game, and we were saying, as we were playing it, it gets to the point where you almost have to think so strategically, and someone said, "Oh, it's getting like chess." Now, I've only ever played chess a few times when I was a kid, never really got into it. I know how the pieces move, but I have no idea about how you win the game, you know, what you need to do to win the game. I have no strategies at all. I was never taught any, I didn't know. You know, I know what you have to achieve to win, but I don't know how you get there. - Fair enough. - And I just think maybe when I'm older, chess is big game, I can see myself as a sort of older man. This is how I see my retirement, probably the morning in the weather spoons. Get there for breakfast. - Yeah. - Yeah, you have a couple of, a couple of fosters and a, and a fun English. Then go to some old man's club where you play chess for the afternoon. - This sounds like the worst. - And then back to the winter. - Pressing retirement, I've never heard of. (laughs) - And then the weekends go fishing. (laughs) Yeah, I think that's, that's how I see my retirement. Chess, booze and fishing. - Lovely. - So I think if I had to play chess, I would have to find a way to cheat. - I'm not sure you can cheat. - That's right, unless you, unless you start moving pieces when your opponents start looking. - But I don't know 'cause I mean, there's, there's been a few things recently, there's been accusations of cheating and quite extreme accusations of cheating in chess. There was a one or while, but I don't think this was ever proved, but this was at some major chess sort of championship. Somebody accused their opponent of cheating or go as delicately as a can around this. But they claimed that the opponent was getting signals sent to them about what to do via some, I'm gonna have to just say the phrase, anal beads. - Thank you, pardon. (laughs) How was that, how, I'm actually lost for words. How would this work? - Well, I suppose that there was. (laughs) I mean, suddenly you're interested in chess, though, are you? - I'm a lot more interested than I was. I guess that there were, I mean, I think they were saying that there was some sort of electrical signal that could be sent to the aforementioned inserted item. And so from the, I don't know, the number of pulses, I don't know how it would, what the code would, it was basically a more technologically advanced version of the coffee or who was to be admitted there, is what was happening. (laughs) - So it must have been, I mean, the only thing I can think of is it must have been some sort of Morse code. - I guess so, through vibrations. I don't think it was ever proven. I think it was all, I think it was an investigation. And I think it was all thrown out of court. I don't think it went to court, but, you know. - Wow. - And then there was another one recently where somebody was accused of trying to poison their opponent by spreading mercury compounds. - Jesus. - Across the chess board. - That's actually quite clever, because I was gonna say, well, surely, that person has to play them with that chess board, but of course, that person wouldn't be handling their pieces. - Well, that's it, that's it. There was CCTV footage that allegedly showed the player putting a substance across the board that was then later identified as mercury. And then the opponent that she was obviously trying to poison began to experience symptoms of nausea and dizziness. - See, I never understand the compulsion to do that, because if I got away with that, and I looked at my little gold medal, or whatever you got for this chess competition, or the trophy or my mantelpiece, I wouldn't think, look at that thing I won with my skill and my dedication. I'd think, look at that thing I cheated to win. It would ruin it for me. - Yes, yes. I mean, I think, because the woman who spread the mercury on, I think she admitted it and said she was just trying to scare the opponent, not harm her. - But I think you're putting mercury on something. - Mercury poisoning can kill people. - You've got to sort of know, but that's not just gonna scare someone. (laughing) And how much do you need to win a game of chess? I mean, if I ever get to that point, Ben, when I'm in my retirement and I'm playing chess, if you come to my house and there's a parcel and it's this dangerous substance, and you say, you said, do what he's here, does? I was in mercury. I think that's a point you say, oh, by the way, Trev, I think we should, let's have a chat. - I'll be relieved if it's Lionel beans, that's what I can say. (laughing) (upbeat music) - Trev, do you remember a few weeks back? I played you what I thought was an absolutely flabbergasting clip of Donald Trump rambling on about batteries and sharks. - Oh, God, yes. Oh, yes, wasn't that about the basically saying that he'd rather be in with sharks than in the water when there's a ship with batteries. Yeah, absolutely. - Yeah, how does the boat stay afloat with the heavy battery? And if it sinks, what happens to the electric and he'd rather be against a shark and, oh my God. I don't know if it's because I've seen that, that my sort of algorithm on my social media is now suggesting me more nonsense, but I found not one but two more clips of Donald Trump's absolutely bizarre rambling. So I thought I'd share them with you and just get your analysis of them. - Okay. - Now, just imagine you turn on the TV. - Yeah. - And you hear this, for example. - You take a look at bacon and some of these products and some people don't eat bacon anymore and we are going to get the energy prices down when we get energy down. You know, this was caused by their horrible energy wind, they won't wind all over the place. But when it doesn't blow, we have a little problem. - What? We start, we start with bacon. - I mean, that's quite a through theme. (laughing) We're going and some people aren't eating bacon because of wind, what? - Well, it's the bacon, are people not cooking bacon because of the energy prices? Is that what you say? Don't worry, the man, well, we know the man's, he just goes off on these tangents, doesn't he? It's just extraordinary. And what's he saying, people want wind everywhere. Wind just exists, naturally. And why not harness the power of the wind? I can I just say, I hate this. I mean, I've sort of taken my eye off the ball a little bit with the whole politics thing of late because I just feel I'm done with it for a while. I needed to calm down, I think, about it. So I've not been, if I see Trump on the telly, I turn it off, I can't even bear to hear anything you say. But this whole, I cannot believe that people still think the global warming and the crisis is all made up and a lie. I cannot believe that people still think this and yet, certainly in Trump's world, they keep going on about it being the climate change lie. And it's like, I even saw something this week about don't people realize that your energy prices have gone up because of the investment in green energy, green energy, renewable energy has put your energy bills up. There may be some truth to that. If there's more investment needed in that, then I guess the cost will be passed on to us. But that's not the main reason our fuel bills have gone up. But these are fucking, what about bacon? What about bacon? Well, bacon is, I think bacon. You see, bacon to me is the answer to everything. A bacon is never a problem to me. I think bacon is one of the greatest things God's gave. If there's a God, he gave us bacon as, but I don't know why the church don't talk more about bacon. Although if there is a God, he also gave us Donald Trump. So I make you about what you will. I think the devil gave us Donald Trump. No, I think that I think religious people, I mean, obviously I'm not saying, 'cause there are religions that won't touch pork products, I don't get that. But I'm just talking about the Christian church. They should be championing bacon more. They should, because should be on a Sunday up in the pulpit. All right, you can talk about Jesus a little bit if you want. But talk about bacon. That would get people through the doors. 'Cause let's face it, even a vegetarian, probably even the most ardent vegan walking past a church with the smell of bacon would be lured in. Lured in by the smell. I remember when I worked at the school, which was a religious church of England school. And the start of the new term, or the school year, I think it was, we had to go for like a little service at the church. I mean, my heart fucking sank. (laughing) God. But there was a promise of bacon sarnies afterwards. So, you know, it was worth the hour of listening to some sermon for bacon sandwich. It was worth every minute of misery to do that. - Maybe Donald Trump is smarter than we think then, who knows. And the second clip I've got for you, it's not quite as good as the first one I ever played you about the boats and the electric and the sharks. However, he is back on his favorite subject of electricity. - We don't have enough electricity for ourselves. And now they're talking about putting all the cars on it. Well, it doesn't work 'cause the cars don't go far. If you'd like to go from here to, let's say, Washington to look after we fix the capital up and make it safe again, which we'll take approximately like quickly. Oh, we're gonna bring out electronics too. Electronics, we buy everything away. When you see the sophistication of the product, I just saw it this place. Electronics is peanuts by comparison. - What are you talking about? That's why he can't, he supports everything. You know, Jesus Christ, that is just nonsense. I mean, they talked about Biden talking nonsense. And he was some of the time, but this is just the round. You'd have this person locked up normally. This is the sort of roundings you'd have with someone in some sort of institution and you'd go, yes, yes. Would you knock up a tea now, Donald? Put the sedative, put time for the sedative, pull it in. Yeah, we're gonna sort that quickly. What was he saying? Do you wanna listen to it again? - Yeah. - Let's order it again. - We don't have enough electricity for ourselves. - Okay. - And now they're talking about putting all the cars on it. - Okay. - Yeah. - Well, it doesn't work 'cause the cars don't go far. If you'd like to go from here to, let's say, Washington to look after we fix the capital up and make it safe again, which we'll take approximately like quickly. - Approximately quickly. - We're gonna bring up electronics too. Electronics, we buy everything away. When you see the sophistication of the product, I just saw at this place, electronics is, peanuts by comparison. - It's peanuts by comparison. - What is, yeah, what's he comparing it to? Bacon, what is he comparing it to? - Oh. - And what's he talking about, the capital that's broken? I mean, he's supportive, he's storming the fucking place. - Yes, but don't worry, Trev, because it's gonna be fixed approximately. - Approximately quickly. - Quickly. - He'd make a good tradesman, wouldn't he? (laughing) (upbeat music) Well, there we are, let's see it. For another Chevin Ben podcast before we go, I always have got a couple of recommendations for you, things to watch and enjoy. - Excellent, what have we got? - All on Netflix this week. The first thing is a true crime thing. - Oh, a lot more true crime, what have we got? - This is called the ice cream wars. - Okay, doesn't sound super dramatic, but okay. Well, this is all about in Scotland in the '70s, there were ice cream vans that operated as mobile shops to isolated sort of housing blocks. But the problem is, gangs battled over the trade, and then-- - Sorry to interrupt. Have you ever seen an episode of-- - Peter Kay. - Yes. The ice cream man cometh. It sounds exactly like this. - That's what I thought. I thought surely this isn't all about ice cream, then of course, it's not all about ice cream. - It's Mr. Softy Top vs. Senior Whippy. - There's then drugs involved, but then there's basically a terrible killing that takes place. - Oh. - And it's all about that, but I mean, the interesting thing about the story is, is the way it unfolds with the people involved. I don't want to give too much away, but it's a fascinating, because I mean again, you can't get your head around the fact that some ice cream vans that just started as a very innocent thing, becomes this center of a massive killing. I mean, it's extraordinary. It's only two episodes. I've found it just really interesting, so I think it's well worth a watch. - Excellent, I definitely will watch that. - And the other thing I'm going to recommend is a film called The Old Oak. It came out, I think, last year. It's Ken Loach's final film as a director, I think, 'cause I think he's well into his late '80s now, and I think he said this is going to be his last film. Do you know, Ken Loach's work? - I can't handle it, honestly, I do. I've definitely heard of him, but I couldn't tell you much about him. - He often does things sort of about social, lots of social things, you know? I think he famously in the '60s, made the film Cathy Come Home, which was a massive thing at the time about a child being taken away from her mother by social services. That's the thing that I think put him on the map, and he's always done that sort of social commentary on things. And this is about Syrians fleeing war-torn Syria to come to an English town in the Northeast, and then they kind of build a bond with a landlord and a pub that's sort of failing, dying, a pub, basically. But then it's about the prejudice that Syrians have to face in the community. But it's a real bleakness to it, but that's a Ken Loach sort of theme. There's always a bleakness to his stories, but then there's always a positive spin to it. And I really liked it. I thought it was a brilliant film. My dad had told me about this for a while ago because he'd seen it, and you know, I just thought, oh yeah, no, just get my hand towards you. I think it's a really good film. Just so, so enjoyable. But you've got to go through a lot of emotions with it, Ben, no emotion going on. - I won't promise you I'll get to that one, but I will probably watch the ice cream wars. - Okay. - I think we found you level. (laughing) There we are, that's it. Thank you very much for listening. Don't forget you get in touch with us anytime. We're at Chairman Ben on X, and we'll catch you again next week. Till then, stay safe, stay well, take it easy. - Bye. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (dramatic music)