The Mortuary Show

Funeral Babe 💃

Our favorite funeral babe does a pageant... Can you guess what her talent was??? If I had to pick mine it would probably be my ability to fall asleep swiftly & effectively (serves me well as a FD). You know her, she's the best. Listen and ENJOY!

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Mortuary Marketing

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Show Notes:

(05:45) – Physical toll being a mortician can have.

(10:32) – Social media vs. the funeral industry.

(21:06) – What's the future going to look like?

(27:08) – How humor can lift us up.

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Takeaways

Trade and freelance work is popular in the funeral industry, offering flexible schedules and potentially higher pay.
The physical demands of the job can take a toll on funeral directors, especially as they get older.
Melissa participated in a pageant as a personal challenge and to step outside of the funeral industry.
Social media can be a valuable platform for sharing experiences and connecting with others, but it also comes with challenges and judgment.
The funeral industry is filled with memorable and sometimes shocking stories that could be compiled into a book. Dealing with shipping delays and time constraints is a common challenge in the funeral industry.
The funeral industry needs more data and statistics to address issues such as lack of employment and education.
Outsourcing and storefront funeral homes may become more prevalent in the future.
Maintaining authenticity and trust with the public is crucial for the funeral industry.
Humor can be a valuable tool for educating and engaging the public about funeral practices.

Duration:: 31m
Broadcast on:: 10 Sep 2024
Audio Format:: mp3

(upbeat music) - I need a fancy introduction. Everyone knows who you are. But anyway, so like balancing between the two, the idea would be to mix it a little bit. - I guess, you know, also with, do you guys have like trade and freelance, like is that popular? - So it's huge. I'm actually work really closely with this one guy that has a trade company. And if I wasn't doing the things that I'm doing now, I would be like so in on what he is going. His staff works from home. And then they just, they work as much as they want to. And you get paid per the calls you're doing and you get designated shifts on. It's sort of like a, you know, a fireman or police officer schedule where they like have like 24 hour shift on. And then like a day or two off. And man, if I didn't do it, I guess I would want to be younger to actually do it. 'Cause now I'm like, I don't want to like. - Trade trades a lot of work. - It's a young person's game. But if I could, if I was going back and things were different with family and things like that, it would be very intriguing as a young funeral director. - Yes, trade in New York is especially downstate. City, Long Island is huge. - It's huge. - It's huge. businesses. Is it more so like more people are like electing for trade probably then it's becoming like house at this point. It's almost yeah like management employment and this but this is like years in the making it's not just you know years in the making employees so our trades just to removals and embalming mostly you know you can call them up if you want to dress in casket or something right um it's a short staff to need a funeral director whatever yup something came up but the thing with trade and that you know you get paid per the job so when you're a full-time funeral director you're getting paid you know when you break it down it's yeah you guess that weird whole right it's yeah I know what I know what you're saying you know like it's not like I always think to myself no one's really paying me for my time you're paying me for my experience yes there's some things I can do I come and be done in an hour or other day it's gonna take eight hours but if you're getting paid per the job it compared to hourly it really just sitting staring at walls it's like it's like a management you know like for our weird management business yeah it's and it's frustrating like the times when you are super busy it's like damn I just wish I was a trade work I'd be making so much more money right now and that's I think what the appeal appeal is for people and like it's crazy and not shocking at all that New Yorkers like that it's happening here in Chicago to I'm telling you and I and I think part of it is not as many funeral directors staffed you know there there's not as many people that are like becoming active funeral directors like going to school and becoming licensed and so I think it's just was a matter of time that it's everyone's sort of pulling from the same pool it's almost like a privately owned type of consolidation without even you know anything that way like when I'm in the office if I'm too busy you call trade you you know you don't have to worry about going out to the hospital things like that and then you know you said it to us you get older I'm only thirty three I flew out my shoulder yeah we're the same age yeah yeah two and a half weeks ago blew it out it is not better it's it's from like that pulling motion but yeah oh yeah like she can't keep doing this and it's like it's that's your livelihood a lot of times too and so if you get hurt you know well what are you gonna do that's my cool I've never really hurt myself at work like you know and then you know I kept doing like I keep doing removals but it's against my better judgment it's like you got to do it and I think to myself you know the older generations where I've seen them blown out their backs so many times it's like how did you get through this I can't see me doing it five years old moving you know I did my dad still does and I'm like dude you put in enough time you don't have to still be like lifted bodies in the prep room but you know at the same time it's like well someone's got to help me you know I can't lift 250 I'm by myself yeah exactly but it's so much it's so much time and like my poor dad his knees are blown out from all the years of work I'm sure in his back he just never says a word the man doesn't complain about a thing ever it's unbelievable I admire him that's a part of that I know I'm like I'll never get there I'll never be you it's like the man is so patient and so and I'm just like this is brutal I'm getting out of here I'm done exactly I can't help it yeah exactly so what's going on with life I saw you were in a pageant what was that I did I do miss New York so random yeah why give us the rundown not why but like you know why why did you do it I it was something I've always wanted to do that like wanted to do was gonna go sign up for it but I always saw the girls and was like I think I want to do that one day but yeah I got old and then I saw it rolled out and I was like you know what let me just apply and I am like the most like I don't say a word like I didn't say anything to anyone I applied and then like as I went through the process and then they sent me the invitation and finally I was like I have to choose if I'm gonna do it whoa I thought to myself I could be someone who said I always wanted to do it had the opportunity to do it but I did do it yeah it was really like it's like an individual test I wanted to do on myself I thought it was you know getting out of working with just funeral directors permanent being with like you know adults that's not a funeral scene which was nice all the girls were just lovely and then also like public speaking and everyone's like you don't need help with public speaking and I'm like no but it's a lot different though you know when you're standing in front of a crowd of grieving people and you're saying the same things you've said a hundred times it's right second nature when you're standing in front of a group of people you know I get nervous I can't believe you do honestly like not only your funeral director in front of people but you're also like behind the camera all the time so I just I'm surprised I get a little bit nervous too but you know I feel like I compare myself to to other of my friends or family and it's not even close like they hate it and I'm like it's not that bad right my like I told my friends like I'm going to work on my confidence and they're like please don't please don't anymore no I don't understand like I do get so nervous and like also now with like social media like cancel culture all these things it's like you just know like you're being judged everyone yeah it's just so judgy so it's like why not go put myself in front of a panel of judges yeah let's let's just do it that way well my flaws I beg you yeah exactly well that's why I I and you're the same way I'd say just keep it authentic to who you are as a person like with that stuff because I think people try to like be so delicate and like you know just scared of what people are gonna say or what what they're they might do just be who you are and that's what it's all about otherwise one then it's not and you come to realize like a minute video two minute video you're not getting you don't know and like I'm a very like don't judge people kind of person it's more like yeah learn the lesson if you see or hear something I do and you don't like just learn a lesson don't do that for sure pocket it yeah you know like everything is beneficial no doubt whether it's pushing you in the same direction or a different direction it's still gonna move you somewhere as long as you take it yeah you have to you know take other people's lessons and bring for your own what was so what's going on uh and the social media side of things with you nowadays it's going I mean it's going it's it's it's going good it's just a full throttle yeah you know I feel like I built like a community and like I can't explain it like I you know the messages the and it's been really helpful for me like the insight that I get back and the feedback from people even when it comes to grief or their funeral experiences and then like someone asked me something it makes me go learn more you know or I hear a story with me go research more um so like I have this mission with it it's it's going and I I mean I enjoy it I've just been so busy that when you prioritize things like even though I love TikTok it falls to like the bottom of the barrel you know no doubt uh when it comes to priorities and even like I was thinking today I haven't done a day in the life but it's like that all takes filming and like my days have been so crazy I don't have time to do that yeah it's a lot of effort it really is do you like see like I know you you what you put into it is what you get out of it but have you gotten anything like out of it from like a business or personal side of things that you're like hey that made my all my efforts a little bit more worthwhile other than the obvious of I think growing as a person and feedback and sort of documenting your life you know I haven't done much with my social media in a sense like it's a big account and everything but like yeah I haven't tried you know start like I what I want to do yet and I think my goal is to write which I've been working on my writing I want to write uh essentially a memoir um of some of my stories at work and just kind of paint the picture of my perspective and and share my journey a little bit there and um I found like even when it comes to like advertising compared to other influencers there is something around death and dying people don't want to touch it they don't like really no one wants to you know it's not in line with what like because it's death and dying and I see it you know okay yeah it is but like have you everyone knows that that I think like the TikTok shop is like the hottest thing going did you ever consider doing stuff like that it just seems like like it's not that like I just couldn't see me putting the effort into it you know like if I bought something on it and it was amazing I've never bought off TikTok shop I get a lot like my inbox I have a hundred a day people monetize monetize but like I don't I don't like the QVC kind of thing on TikTok and like what's that like like everyone you're scrolling and it's like look at this headlamp look at this it's like I'm not here to shop like I don't know yeah I know it's trending myself you know like for sure if I'm like if I'm going to do something I feel like it has to be fun I can't be under someone else's or sell something I don't I don't know so like maybe whatever you know like there's new brands that like I've worked with but it's because I genuinely just love them like right you know and it works out authentically but other than that I don't know I don't know where space is going or I didn't mean to just like doing me my main focus is always work so I haven't made that like crossover to take anything too seriously with social media yeah yeah you know so this is a fine line for sure of trying to keep it light and fun and then when you turn and try to make it into a job I'm sure I'd imagine it wouldn't be as uh as fulfilling right naturally I like the no pressure stuff right yeah it's it's a lot more fun what's uh something crazy that's happened to you at work recently oh my god today yeah sure today how about today I'd be like this is every day it's like yeah give me one from today yeah I dressed in cascaded up we have our prep rooms downstairs we have the elevator lift sure so our elevator lift is a nice lift don't get me wrong but it's not it's not from 1925 yeah like it's not perfect yeah and there's like a space between where the floor breaks and like with a elevator lift right and on one side it's a little bit of pay off the inspector every year yeah I know the drill and there's space between like where the lift goes up and the floor and it's just enough space to drop the church truck wheel into it oh so it could slide in oh so the whole casket could fall off oh no oh yeah so I have a very um it was a large decedent and a very heavy casket nice nice wood and I got a pushing onto the lift the church truck wheel fell into it the caskets on the side on there I'm trying to pick it up I've blown out shoulder oh no never like that was in it's been a long time everything was fine I was able to play a joss but like it was that split like if I let go this is going down this is not going to be good when I stopped and happened in like 15 seconds I was not breathing I started panting I was shaking I started trembling I was like sweating everything flashed before my eyes just a couple hours ago oh it's always something I tell you at work it's just my favorite go ahead what wait I don't know if I the last time we talked I work with this a buddy of mine he's a marine you know 75 into 70s yeah okay yeah a retired cop and he always says out of everything I've ever seen in my life the craziest stories have always been the funeral home stories I'm sure like of course yeah it only makes sense yep it's it's a it's a treasure trove of good stories that's why like I I'm surprised there's not more books and you can you can write this one for me if you want but like everyone that since you're working on it everyone that like comes on the podcast everyone's got like at least one or two stories as long as they've been in the industry for like a few years even and I feel like I could or you could do it for me I will compile all these stories and it would be so engaging it would just be banger after banger of stories of people like that actually happened oh my god it is there there is a book called mortuary confidential it is old because I read that when I was in college and there's stories but like even you know even like when I tell stories on the internet or with friends and like they're shocked like I totally understand but like it's so real and I think that's almost the problem like when you tell a story about something people get like so but it's like it's just so like this actually happens like all there's always something you know yeah I recently had a funeral we had a um it was a flying they're flying in and we get the flight schedule we figure we could do it you know within the 24 hours from the flight landing huge mistake huge mistake that's yeah really risky yeah light had a layover then it was like and this is all behind the scenes so like we're not even making contact there was the layover by the time we're figuring it out we're trying to contact the cargo in the other state they have no tracking number they're saying that they weren't on the plane out of airport like the panic and you have you know seven hours before first visiting right can't find them we ended up it worked out but when I tell you from the point hold up how did it work out what happened they ended up coming in on a flight we called we're like there they it was like a rush job off off the tarmac essentially and by the time we got back to the funeral home we had a half hour before our first family walk in they had to wait like 15 minutes and within 45 minutes that decedent came out of the shipping container dressed casketed cosmo 45 minutes and that's talk about flying and you're just a student and like on New York New York City traffic is no joke no but like at the same time you know as a funeral director like part of my like yes we got it's on it was a crazy story the whole thing was stressful semi-fun in a way that's the funeral director adrenaline i don't know after after the fact right yeah like you call in one of your pallbearers like you got to give me a hand yeah after the fact too like i have that always that feeling like in 45 minutes but like i could have i could have gave it two hours if that person gets like it could have been could it have been better right when you're on that time crunch that that always sucks too because you only have one chance so like i always get like funeral director fuel yeah funeral director right if you're like i could have done this and that but like you when when you got to put your nose down and finish something and do it it's there's so much like rushing i i feel that we have to do it it's that's not fun i i used to like it more and now i don't like love it as much right absolutely and like even with the rush like what like in those stories and stuff it's like people don't realize like in your head you're like you don't understand this is somebody's child like right you know that pressure of just like it's all on you like it's been posted in the newspaper it's on your what like but then you've also like i've learned that sometimes things just don't work out and it is what it is right and there's nothing you can do about it you just gotta i mean you just gotta do the best you can really yeah anyway so what's what's bigger on the the agenda next what's the next feat that you're trying to tackle there's got to be something uh in line for you you know i can't figure it out just yet like i know trying to follow that heart and that authentic line but one of my biggest things i feel like where my head is out funeral industry wise is in the industry like like the big the bigger picture of things okay and that's where like i feel like my my heart my desires is like pulling to um even just like when it comes down to like if i go online i'm trying to research statistics on anything there's there's nothing available you can't find it like it's just you know people aren't doing surveys or but okay you know my inbox is crazy like but like there's so many like issues in the funeral industry and then like i'm on the board and those are a bunch of issues that you know we keep talking about like what we're seeing lack of employment schools national board exam scores like these are real issues uh i see on tiktok some of us will talk about them and you know granted yes other industries and everything have their problems but our industry is 24,000 funeral directors yeah that's nothing like the medical field that is nothing like the education like no it's not people are expected to die like yeah you know and like what's gonna happen like what's gonna you know and what's the solutions because it seems that like you have your older generation you have your family owned you have your corporate own like everyone has their own opinion it's like what's real and what's not yeah and what's gonna like what's going to come of all of it in the end yeah i just don't know and i don't know i i think where we're gonna see a lot more of those like we're talking about outsource working type of thing i think that's going to be big i think um storefront funeral homes will become more and more big so bad apparently is like a california thing yeah yeah yeah that's like that in europe a lot too but europe's very different than here still but it's more like that and they kind of have like a a lot of cities like have a a prop hub sort of where it's like a warehouse and then each funeral home rents out like a portion of the thing i'm like that's like an embalming cubicle sort of it's like a like a common work workspace it's like a we work for funeral directors yeah it's almost like you know i think a big problem too is you know trying to keep things inexpensive right obviously that's playing a role in new york you know there's always talk of them splitting our licenses so oh right now we're duly licensed you're too right and you have like here you have to have your license to make a removal you have to have like a funeral director has to be present at the cemetery or crematory you have to sign in so like our license is demanding um and now you talk about wanting to split it and have like a funeral arranger and i understand that people want to come into this field and not do embalming and not but i'm still not i'm not for licensure split i'm just not i think the issue will become more people like we'll get a lot more people probably coming in to be funeral arrangers and the shortage will still exist on the other end then so it's like who's going to pick up that slack if if everyone that's like contemplating getting into funeral service and then we're having 75% of people whatever i'm just throwing out a number yeah are picking the arranger and just not doing a duel that's even more trouble i think than we're gonna find ourselves in yeah and it's like losing it's it loses the whole luster in a sense like not luster i don't know if that's right where but like it loses that luster of what service really is and it's about you know like i think when i work without a state funeral homes and i'm working with a funeral arranger and we're talking about the condition of a body when they don't know how to answer my questions and like that's frustrating you know um and like i think it's supposed to be the expert you know and i think that does you you have to at the very minimum understand it but i think having in knowing what's actually going on behind the scenes is is pretty valuable and it's to the families like i you know i know that for me at least i get questions all the time and arrangements asking about like embalming procedures how are you going to do this can we do this is this possible if you don't know all sides how are you going to answer properly and that's in that arrangement conferences when those answers and being educational so the family is most important that's absolutely yeah and you give them the perspective and understanding what's going on so so what is it that you would like to do with all this so do you want to get more involved in the more involved in the board side of things education side i don't know you know i don't know sometimes i'm involved in my local board which i love yeah um i don't like when it comes to board work like i don't really have the time for it you know like to be a state member uh that would be going to Albany that's a long drive i'm on the opposite end of Albany so yeah you know like doing stuff like that it's like i would love to um and i also like not that it matters i just think that i have a different um not everyone really cares for me yeah with the social media aspect and things um and i think that's being a little bit of a disadvantage sometimes it could eat it yeah that's like that's what i feel i found a blog post about me the other day and how uh i know it's great i i shouldn't search for these things but sometimes yeah that's on you you're seeking out the uh the judgment right and i saw one and it was just talking about how like we shouldn't talk about these things and they're so sacred like what we do is so sacred and it's like sacred is not secret and you know like it's just not you're confusing the words yeah like it is sacred we can still talk about you know a mouth closure openly funny sadly however you want to talk about it that doesn't make when you're doing it any less sacred than taking care of a decedent what annoys me about it is is when people sit on that platform like or that pedestal like and say things like that they are only hurting the public's opinion of what we do behind the scenes because people are like okay then why can't you tell me like a doctor is going to tell me specifically what's going on this is net why can't you and that's and i think that's what some of the issue is with the trust and like there's nothing but pretty much negative news that comes out of funeral industry so it's like those two things paired together yeah no wonder some of the public is like i don't want to have any service or anything these funeral directors are out to get me they're charging all this money for this this net and when in reality if you realize what goes into everything and behind the scenes and how beautiful and hard working and positive i guess towards like a family like their their intention it'd be a whole different game a hundred percent you know yeah it's annoying well and another part two is like and i'm sure you see it you have your father in the business you have your older generation funeral directors yeah we can't even really get them to you know i know plenty of your homes that still use computers you know um they're very they're difficult they don't like change i get it um but they also miss the part where the whole social media aspect in general about everything and anything where if you're going to talk about something which i think this information and the education i share i think it's important because everybody dies you know like yeah it's part of life um you know even when it comes to regulations or anything like that you know we don't have public backing they don't care they just want the job done yeah but people who are interested too you know they don't always want to hear things so mellowed dramatic i know i don't when i was in class if my professor said there was like and then you're going to pick up the loved one oh you know come on like we're we're people that lay it on thick i'm like come on you know we're people we can say things this is real like if you you know some people like to learn things in a funny way some people want to learn things in a song way in a visual way 30 seconds can be a lot of information for somebody and if they retain that it's important it shouldn't you know yeah i'm with you i'm with you i think i think just that that part of things and trying to appeal to to more than just what it is in i guess what my thinking behind it is i i know we're we're doing things out of respect but wouldn't wouldn't someone rather just be like talk to like an actual person you know and like understand things like as things actually are and stop putting on fronts i think we're like i've mentioned this earlier they're like both of us try to maintain some authenticity and when you when you lose that people can pick up on that i think when you're not being your your true self and that's when people they they don't trust you we're we're very perceptive as humans most of us yeah most of us some of us right uh what all right last question for you what's uh your next you know banger of a video like i'm sure you have like a whole note section of like list but i know you don't i don't i have so many ideas but like i when i make my post they're no i make post and as they come out like i probably filmed that an hour ago just now or yesterday i have like i have some in my drafts that i'm like oh i don't know i don't know i have you know what you're you you have the same like dark sense of humor sure like sometimes my humor is dark and i'm just like am i testing my dark humor i ate well yeah like so what it what we'll each we'll each answer this question okay what is a video what is a video that you like kind of wanted to do but you were like i shouldn't and you never did and i have i have one for me so if you need a second i can give it to you tell me you tell me yours okay all right this was this was my brother that came up with this concept he he was like hey we should do something where you know like how tiktok live and instagram live is like is pretty darn huge at this point and it was like right when it started like tiktok live was coming out more so and you know that you know what tiktok does they boost anything new that they have to the platform and he's like what if we did like a fundraiser and you had to sleep in a casket for eight hours and i'm like that is hilarious but i'm like that exists i'm get no way yeah someone did that no it exists and i think it happens i'm like almost positive it happens every year at six flags in new jersey like you have to stay in a casket for whatever amount of hours like what like they really i've never been in a casket i just want you to know that never i've popped into two two treatment i like i think i'm proud at sometimes but i'm just like no i don't know i'm going to make up on the interior because for me i was like that's just drawing the line of what am i doing this for you know like that that's where i was like i'm not that i'm not that yeah that's mine i would say um no i had one video idea it's kind of it did you ever have that song it was like really get into it really get into it you've no i don't i have no idea okay you're gonna have to find that audio patch it into this podcast okay okay perfect i'm not that good of an editor though really get into it really get into it really get into it we're ending on that that's a perfect way to end well i saw you the best thank you for joining us you're always welcome