Golan-Globus Theater
Westworld (1973)
(upbeat music) - Bye. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - I used to live downtown, 20th, 20th, nine street convent. Everything's up, beat parties. Fall in the park, nothing. But girls at the dark, we chill. Nobody gets ill in the place. We cover hell with a few triumphs. That's when they will get wild, but they don't fight, they kill that. (upbeat music) I remember parties out in the park with the girly's. Rubbing up in the dark, I was smooth. 'Til someone told the girl it was over. They spoke for my fun, I was flying. Just like a track star dying, now I ran through the backyard trying to get my buildings saying, "Ryan the heck won't somebody kill them one day." But fellas got together, they found that no one would ever come and I blocked. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) Oh damn, I was supposed to be robot voice. That was not a robot voice. Yeah, that went a little east world. Go Globies, welcome back. That was a failed robot attempt by yours truly. Master of all voices, robot, human, otherwise. Beatty, beatty, beatty, beat. Hubba, hubba. Wait, no. Booty, booty, booty, there it is. (laughing) Everybody, we're going to Westworld today. Going into the future to go back to the past. That's right, what'd you say, 1970 something to 1983? No, the movie came out in 1973. Okay. It was set in 1983, which makes sense. In 1973, we were on the verge of creating life like androids. I don't know what happened, why we died. Maybe it was this movie, it scared us too much. We just said fucking mothball it. Well, Murray, I think what happened is they realized we can't present all these fucking loser men with an alternative, 'cause then they won't even try to have sex with women. Good, but race needs to go extinct. I'm all four sex robots. Yeah, we're on that trend apparently. Oh yeah, the Japanese have been working feverishly on it for years. Japanese are loved with robots, I don't get that. It's just part of the culture, like guns are for us. They just love walking robots, guns are fun. Technical monsters, that's actually what's going to do is in. Technical monsters? Yeah, 'cause these modern women, you don't have a tentacle, they don't have nothing to do with you. I mean, I'm sorry, I wasn't born with a tentacle. It's completely taboo to be a man and have like a sex toy for yourself or anything, but a woman. All the toys in the world and if you say anything, you're a fucking demon. Yeah, you're a piece of shit if you just have-- So here's the thing, that's the technology that's probably light years. They've already got functioning dicks, any size, any birth. They've already got that technology, but it's under. I can't finish that sentence because otherwise we get taken down from YouTube. So last thing we put anything up. It's been a while, I've been too fucking busy. Wow. They'll get 84 episodes in 84 days. Before we get into Westworld, you outraged me when I came here. You didn't personally outrage me. It's something you told me outraged me. First off, before we get into that. Oh, Jesus. A preamble to the preamble. A tangent to the tangent. Teaser to the teaser. Okay, people have given a shit lately. Look, it's true. Oasis did ask us to open for them at Wembley Stadium because ticket sales were pretty low because they were charging outrageous prices. And I said, look here, Oasis person. Were their names? No, I'm in Liam Gallagher. No, I'm... (laughing) No, I think it's a no. No? We open for nobody. Yeah. If we did open for you, we'd steal the motherfucking show. I, every Thursday, we own the UK. It's called "Timberly for a Reason." Yeah. I open for nobody. So you sell your own tickets on your week, tap it with the music that destroyed the British music industry. We got some English listeners. What happened? What happened? So many of my favorite metal and punk bands came from England. You created "Heavy Mile" for fuck's sake, and now it's just... (mimicking) What the fuck? It's all EDM. Bring it back, bring it back British Steel. Is it just 'cause they don't have groups anymore? They don't have friends anymore? I don't know what's going on. EDM is a solo game. Yeah. So you just show up with like your iPhone and a club and plug it in the aux cord and just beep and pop around and the kids love it. We're killing rock and roll, rock and roll slowly dying because of this shit. That's too bad. We need the money. We need the money. Where's the modern lemme? It's up to you, England. Make it happen. Anyway, get in now. No, we will not be at any of the oasis. I don't care if they advertise it. We're not going to be there. It's crazy that they'd ask. Like you said, we own that. I said, "Look, you fucking Oscar the grouch, "looking unibrow motherfucker." I open for no man. I heard they were born-- Sexually or musically. I heard they were born with conjoined eyebrows. They were. They were the first conjoined eyebrow twins. That's why they have so much heat between each other because the first five years of their lives, they were joined at the eyebrow. That's right. That's right. That would be hell. That would be hell. But the other thing is like we've been seeing all these bands who are quitting their tours because they couldn't sell out. Yeah. Well, the violin was just charging way too much. So it makes sense that they would say, "Guys, we don't care. "We have to do this show now. "We can't just curl up and turtle back away." Well, right now I believe they're just doing a UK tour, which makes sense. That's where they're the biggest. I mean, I'm saying they hate to break it to England. They were never that big a deal here in America. "Wonderwall" was not the biggest song of all time. I think that's the only song, "Champion Supernova." That's the only one. They were all rip offs of Beatles songs anyway. That's what I hear. Yeah. But, so, Griff, you were, here's another tangent to the tangent I'm gonna tell you. You were at a wrestling show yesterday. Wait, we're on a third tangent or a third tangent? Yes, we'll get around to what I wanna talk about. But you told me about this at a wrestling show with our friend, Joe Coleman. Yeah. What happened at the wrestling show with Joe Coleman? Well, so you want the other story and then we'll get into the other story. Yeah, I wanted you to do a tangent off of my tangent. I don't know which tangent order you wanna go with. I think what you want me to go into is the sighting. Of course. We saw, I saw the royal way. I saw future Golden Globus host, Bad Noah, again. I saw him again. Not Noah Gallagher of Oasis. No thought. He was trying. Not Noah, our surrogate son. From the East Coast. Yeah, from the East Coast. That's right. No, this is Bad Noah. He was at the wrestling show. He, very much like our friend Scratch, we're in the same black overcoat that goes down to his knees. Are you always scared he's gonna shoot the place off? No. He's got energy off of him. Yeah, he's got a bad vibe to him. He creeps me out. I don't. One thing, he just set him off. Yeah. That's a minor thing. If he didn't smoke so much weed. No, that might, but he did have his chubby, also rich friend with him. Because that was what I found out. Well, it used to sink, cloud. Yeah, he kind of had that look to him. He had his Polish Tigers cap on. It's like a Tigers, it had the English D. Polish flag, American flag sticking out for men. What gas station you buy that for? I don't know. I named traffic, I'm assuming. Yeah, well, yeah, probably. But they, of course, pushed their way to the front. I was doing my best to keep a low profile. How do you push your way? Isn't there like 12 people there? Was there a big crowd? It was Friday night. It was a decent crowd. It was pretty much the usual crowd. They were just, God. They were annoying to share me, the wrestlers. Because they were fucking running out in the bar, like every match went out into the bar area. And I, the one time I was trying to talk to Joe, and the fucking wrestlers come out, and then I'm like, where do I go? And fucking, I hate this shit, man. I hate that it's like, this is my designated spot. That's your designated spot. Keep it in the ring. I want the fans to revolt, and just throw the wrestlers back in the ring. A reverse battle royale. A reverse battle royale. I mean, I know they're always looking for at least like kooky ideas. There's an idea right there. You have to throw guys into the ring. Into the ring. 'Cause for fuck's sakes. I mean, that's what a lumberjack match is supposed to be. Not really. I mean, yeah, it is, in essence. But no, I'm talking about everybody. Everybody, all the fans. Then they get to be-- The last guy left outside wins. So, oh yeah, I'm trying to avoid him. He's having the greatest time. He's cutting jokes. He's got his replica belt over his shoulder. At one point, it's always about the audience. The show's actually about them. They paid $25 to come watch wrestling. But the show's actually about them. So, one guy cuts his great joke. Hey, that move looked kind of gay. Turns to the crowd. Does a knowing nod like, yep, shower me. Hit me with those lafters, those applause. - I'll show you some punches. - We often do turn to mattingly when we tell a good joke. Mattingly always gives us a golf clap. One day, we're going to mike him up. So, everyone can hear him. - One day. - One day. - God, I hear. - You got excited. I don't like seeing excitement on his face. - I don't like seeing the smile on his face. - It's just creepy. - Yeah. - He creeks. (laughing) So, next up, Joe's opponent, come out. One of these guys, not a lot of our listeners-- - It wasn't a tag team match. It was a same one. - It was a tag team match. I'm sorry. - It was, okay. - Is this partner still that big gay guy? - The brute man. - Yeah. - It's fucking great. - The guy that we saw lose to Jody's foot. - Jody's foot. - Yeah. - Yeah, the woman half is the quarter of his size. - Quarter of his size. - So, Joe's opponents come out first, and the one guy, again. Not a lot of people know this name. You're going to know this name to instantly identify him. He's Marco stunt-sized. - Okay, fun size, yeah. - Fun size. - He's pushing all of 411, maybe 5'1, and he's got douchey hair, and he's just... Oh, God, but he's playing into it completely, and he's got a tiny voice. Bad Noah tries to hand him a beer, and he goes, "I'm 19. You motherfucker, you're going to get arrested. I'm going to call him..." And Bad Noah actually looked hurt by that. - Like, what should he send him off? He could have pulled out his AR-14. - He doesn't know what he's fucking with, this guy. He thinks he's getting good heat. He doesn't realize he's wearing the long black coat, man. Be careful. What you doing here? - So, at one point during the match, Bad Noah actually tried to get a CPS chant going. - What's CPS? - Child protection services. - Wow, oh, oh, because he's real. - Yeah, because, I mean, they were complete heels, and so, Joe was beating the shit out of them. So, it looked appropriate. 'Cause it was just them getting thrown around. By two ginormous men. The other guy, another name that only you'll recognize, look like the Peter I Avalon dude, the librarian. Yeah, so, combined, they didn't even come halfway to Joe or-- - Yes, yes, the problem. I have a hard time. I mean, look, I want to support Joe, he's a friend. But, when I'm seeing guys I can kick the shit out of, like, the illusion is gone. Like, that's not, you're supposed to be larger than life characters. - They are. - These guys aren't even large in real life. - No. - Yeah. So, you sent me a text as you were bored during this awful match. And today, bands coming around. Castle Rat. - That's right. - Hotest new band on the round, they didn't play like, kind of like, traditional metal, can old school metal. Got a hot chick singer who looks like Red Sonja. - Where's like, the fucking Jane Male Bikini. - That's right. - It's like, hey, they're coming. You want to go see 'em? Like, sure. And then, you told me, you dropped this bombshell on me. - Dude, they aren't playing one of the small venues in Michigan and everything. - It's literally called small. - It's literally called small. Down the street from where I was watching wrestling. I should have popped in and bought some-- I don't know if they sell tickets ahead of time. - I don't know if they do either, because I would-- - They do. - It's too small. - Yeah. - It's too small. So, it's just like a shit hole little bar and everything. I look up Ticketmaster, or, you know, wherever they're selling the tickets online and everything. So, they want 25 per ticket. And then, they tacked on another like $15 per ticket in service fees. What are we doing? What are we doing? - You're not helping the bands, because people, I'm not gonna buy that. I'm just gonna buy it at the door. Like, I just don't get it. I just don't get it. Like, why are we killing it? - Which comes back to Oasis, because the way the new scam Ticketmaster is using now is when demand rises for a ticket, the prices go up. So, you could conceivably put the ticket, price of $8, $6, $50, into your cart. And then, in the next five minutes, the demand goes up, it could go up to $100. - Yeah. - I realize it should be criminal, first of all. - Yes, it should be. - And I wanna tell you, that's why I wanna be able to know, we're not gonna be there. So, do not fucking waste your money on these Oasis tickets. - I mean, they try to pull the whole Trump on two socials thing, where they release the photo of Taylor Swift as a Trumper, as a Maga. I already saw that Oasis press team, they've been pushing out AI images. They don't know what we look like. - Grills fucking shirt on, like we don't have those, we don't have merch. - That's right, they thought me and Murray look like - We're the Frigazia podcast, we don't do merch. - You don't? - All right. - We got stickers. - Yeah, nobody wants them, so we got them. - I insulate my walls with them. - I know, it's good, that's one good thing about them. - They work really well. - And they're also scratching sniffs, so I get a nice hot dog smile going on. - So, fuck ticket master, everyone knows this, of course. - Why do you exist, stick it master, you're obsolete. - Obsolete. - We don't need you anymore, go away. - So many other online stores that you can go to. - I'm so glad I have the musical tastes of like nobody, so I don't have to deal with ticket master. I can just go to the shitty club, my shitty band's playing at, buy it at the door, no service fees, and enjoy myself. - That's the worst part, I, there was the one band that was coming and I was like, I'll wait for the doors, I'm not spending fucking, it was like a $30 ticket with a $15, $17 service fee, and I was like, I'll try to get it at the door. - And I'm doing this now, 'cause it's just like, hey, if it's not available at the door, it wasn't meant to be it, I just won't see them. - So the band actually did sell out, so I didn't get to see them, and that kind of sucked. - Yeah, it does suck. - But at least they sold out, and yeah, I didn't have to spend, you know, $50 on what's supposed to be a $30 ticket. Fuckin' hate this shit. - Yeah, but I don't hate Westworld. - Dude, this is just, it's not a great movie, it's just a good movie, just a clean-- - Do you ever watch the HBO show, Westworld, the recent show? - I watched one season, that is actually where Barney gets a name. - You actually watched the season. - I watched one season. - Wow, I didn't care, it was okay. - It was okay, yeah, that's my feeling about it too. - I've always talked about this, how, it had an Apple Store look ascetic to it, which turns me off a lot sideways. - Immediately. - Like, I'm not opposed, it's not my favorite genre, but I'm not opposed to it. I just, when stories revolve around technology, it's about technology, it's not about the people, I lose interest. - Yes. - So, and I don't like that aesthetic white and metallic. - Yep, great with you, 100% of sci-fi is like-- - I like lived in sci-fi, like "Alien", or even "Star Wars", you know, it looks like people lived in this world. - Yeah, and it's septic, it's like clean. - I forget the Russian director, he had his space odyssey movie. - The Solaris guy. - Solaris, that's it, and Solaris fucking ships falling apart shit everywhere, like, I love that shit too. - So, yeah, so, I mean, but, and also, I felt like it was covering territory that Blade Runner did 40 years ago in two hours. It was just like the whole idea of, can a robot reach sentience? And if so, is it okay to treat them like a second class citizen type thing? I mean, we've been there, I mean, so, I mean, it was, it was, it got an hour to kill, watching an episode of "Westworld", it's not bad. And I mean, it's technically good, acting is good, so book is good, I don't like the look, but it looks professional. - Yeah, 'cause there's like the lab, and then there's of course "Westworld", and "Westworld" looks cool, they did a lot more stuff, this movie shot in just back lots and shit. - Right. - So, one million budget you said? - Yeah, like one, two, point two five, something like that. - It probably made like 20 million, too. - Yeah, I mean, it was that studio's highest grossing film of the year. - Oh, wow, okay. - Yeah. - I mean, everybody knows it, everyone's heard of "Westworld", you might not have seen it, everyone knows it, everyone knows you'll Brenner, the Gunslinger character, you know, even if you haven't seen it. - Yeah. - Yeah, I know that. - Yeah. - So it's in the zeitgeist, though, fuckin' you know, called "Pop Culture". It, I felt kind of strange that this is, Michael Kriton directed it, who also wrote the book, it was based on, and wrote, I think he wrote "Scramplab", so it's pretty interesting that like, an author would get that kind of power, right? I don't, I mean, I'm not aware of how big Kriton was, at the time, what to say, give him a movie, he's never directed before in his life. - Yeah, that is really interesting. - And he did a decent job, I mean, it looks professional, it's not horrible. - Yeah, again, this is just, it's just, good, cozy, directing, like, I don't know. It just-- - Competent. - It's competent. - Danzig. - Yes, it just tells you right there. Maybe if Danzig was giving a million dollar budget, who knows what he would do. - I heard more porn stars, yeah. - I was just gonna say, there would be so much more fembots in this movie. - Exactly. - Well, so-- - We were talking a lot about, because this movie kinda pushes it as a man's world. It's mostly-- - Well, it was in 1973, it was. - It was mostly-- - Well, we couldn't even get a credit card in 1973. - Exactly. So it's mostly older businessmen coming to town. - It's nothing like now, where rich white guys run the world. - Yeah, no, nothing like that. There's nothing. See, again, this is where rich old white guys, they get the sci-fi wrong, there's, yeah. Anyways, well, oh yeah. So we were talking about it, and-- - Wait, we talked about it in this episode. God, my brain is mush, holy shit. - Shocker, yeah. - Holy shit. Oh my God. It's 19 minutes. - You were at the graph, we had multiple tangents. - We did. - We got lost in the tangents. - That's right, you took us on tangent, on tangent, on tangent. - They needed to be told. - So, I like this movie. I think it's fun, I think it's good. I think they hit the right beats, I don't think they weigh you down with any backstory, basically at all. - They give you what you need, it's workman-like. They give you, and this, Michael Crichton did this purposely. Like, it was a longer movie, he was like, no, this is boring, cut this shit out. And I got, give him props to that. Usually, an author would be these two pressures about his work of art. I can't take anything out. He's like, no, this shit's got to keep moving. And they do a good job of that, for the most part. Yeah, like, I don't need to know the backstory of Delos, it's just, they created this fucking world. I mean, 'cause it does raise the question, like, you create like human like robots, the first thing you do is make an amusement park. Like, you think people would want servants and shit like that first? And maybe they have that, I don't know. - Yeah. - But you think, you know, 'cause, I mean, kind of always looking for a better slave. - Well, if it knows on the head right there. - Right. - I think the idea of keeping them in the park, though, makes it so they're closer to them, so they can work out the kings. 'Cause they're getting like a big pest run, and it's being funded by rich bitches. So you know they're charging out to ask for that. - This was the first, I can't say without the conviction, but it was the first movie that put out the idea of computer virus. - Oh yeah, good call. - You know, 'cause back then we had fucking punch cards and shit. - Right. - That'd be three. So, I mean, Creighton was ahead of his time. - He really figured it out, yeah. I thought it was interesting, too, because we see what kind of weak-willed clientele are coming here. They had a program all the lady bots to immediately accept any sexual advancement. - Who do we say, Congressman, that is all the underage girl trafficking. - Meckates? - Yeah, this is his wonderland. He would love this world. - Yeah, he is 1,000% not participating. - Where's Kiddy Land? We don't have Kiddy Land, sorry. - He'd be bragging about how many robot girlfriends he has in Westworld. How are you? - Meckates looks like a cartoon caricature of Meckates. He's the weirdest looking guy. - Shit, I remembered, I was like doing something the other day, we were trying to remember the Congressman with the eye patch. Fake tough guy. - Yeah, fake tough guy. - And Crenshaw. - Fake Pliscan, that's what I call it. - Yeah, fake Pliscan, Dan Crenshaw. That is a fake Pliscan name too. - Dan Crenshaw. - I'm gonna be thanking for his service, but yeah, fake tough guy. - Yeah. - So, what were we saying? So, okay, so yeah, let me give us what we need to know. All right, I don't need to know everything. I don't even know how robot fucking works. - I was trying to take us on the tang. - Can you fuck it? That's all I'm asking. - I was trying to take you on the tangent of just the fact that there's no chasing the robot women. They immediately have to succumb to your wills. - Well, yeah, you're paying $1,000 a day, and that's just for inflation. $4.2 million a day, Grapf. - Yeah, so apparently the Matt Gates came in and said no. I don't ever want a woman to say no to me. I don't want to chase a woman. I want her to immediately get on her knees and please me. - Well, yeah, if you're paying the money, I might-- - You're not-- - You want to work a woman and pay $1,000 a day to do it? - It would be kind of silly to have to work a robot. - Yeah. - That is true. - That is true. - Basically, these worlds are just basically what people are about, sex and violence. That's all you're there to kill and fuck. - Yeah, so trying to sell anybody on it being immersive when you're not even chasing, you know, is that even trying to do something? - You're not living the real world. - No. - You're dealing with, it's a fantasy, when you're dealing with what you want to do. - I mean, Peter says it best when he immediately walks in the room and goes, this is what they want me to sleep on. And John goes, it's immersive, what the fuck's wrong with you? - That's what we're here for. He's like, well, I'm here to shoot a man. What do you call it when you do this? Fanning. - So that leads the question, Graf, 'cause in this world, there's only three worlds. There's Westworld, there's Roman world, there's medieval world. What world would you want to get immersive in? - Murray. - Sedaris world. Holy shit, I never even thought about that. - Malibu, Mike, I'm coming. You get to show-- - Everybody's coming, of course. - That is right. And we know how Sedaris cast. There's hunks, there's Tyler, whatever the fuck he is. And then there's ladies. They're interesting to look at sometimes. They have shapes to 'em, most of it fake. But yeah, you're in Malibu, the ably-- - Molokai, dude. - Molokai, there we are. - You got the abolines everywhere, crawling up the trees. - And that's the thing, you fight with 'em, none of 'em can hit you, because they're abolines. - The abolines, it works into the bed. - All right. - Oh, it's so good. - Wow, I don't, wow. - Hey, I got-- - You actually took, you put thought into this, I didn't even think. I was like, we should do that, and then I really forgot about it. - Good job, Murray. - I mean-- - I got more, so go ahead. - Okay, I don't have any comedy ones, I'm gonna be serious. I think if you will listen to this show, you know me pretty well. It's gotta be post-apocalyptic Mad Max work. - Yeah. - That's what I wanna be in. - Yeah. - But I don't, and then I thought about it, like Peter, and I was like, what are you shit in the most part? Like, I had to dig a hole and shit it, and I got, and then the reality set, 'cause I just want the fun, where we're just shooting guns and fucking rammin' cars into people, and then I'm like, how do I eat? - You get cat food, you get the dinky dude dog food. - That's right, yeah. - All right, then yeah, that's what I want. - So, I was thinking about that, 'cause I was like, okay, Murray's gotta pick road, worry, worry, worry. - Yeah, of course. - And I was like-- - Either that, or I would, 'cause medieval world in this one kind of, I found boring, 'cause it was realistic. I think it was like a Conan fucking game of thrones, you know, and it fits where it is. It's all about killing and fucking, which is, you know? - Yeah. - That would be cool. - A little bit more, so again, this might have been, if they did the Westworld TV show for the medieval world, it would have been more spread out and sparse and everything, and probably cooler. You probably would have had more of that Conan element. - Yeah. - But yeah, just because of this, they're just like, yeah, we totally have a castle out here somewhere, and then it's just interiors of the wine now. - It's interiors of the castle, you saw that one Star Trek episode, what they're like in a castle. - Yeah, exactly, but I was thinking like, it's just gonna be a bunch of assholes, like, give me the fucking interceptor with the VA, that's what I need, or charger, what is this car? - It's, yeah, the interceptor. - The interceptor. - The VA engine. - Everyone's just gonna have a V8 interceptor. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Well, one guy wants to be the guitar to do with the flames. - Of course, Daforia or something. - Daforia or something. - But I also thought about this from the capitalistic approach, of course. If we were going to get any world now, can you think of a world based on a modern thing that's-- - Maga world? - Hot, you want to go with a bag? - America's really great. (laughs) - That would be good, we could put like-- - Yeah, I mean, we could put our, our, our deplorable, our basket of deplorables, send them there. - We could. - We could live their life the way they want to live it. - Exactly. - We shouldn't guns everywhere. - It's true social in a fucking world, you can just have it. You know what, we have states that this could exist. - Yeah, Wyoming. - Wyoming. - We don't need it. - Why not Wyoming? - But I'm thinking, of course, fucking Star Wars. - You can't even make good fucking TV shows about Star Wars. - Right. - Where do you have that, and MGM, whatever. - Yeah, there's a thing you can walk through and all that. - Yeah. - But yeah. That's the one I thought. - That's what, I mean, yeah, that's what they're heading for. - Right. - They're trying. - Okay, get those robots. - It's kind of out of vogue right now, but zombie apocalypse world, you know? - Yeah. - Where everyone gets to huddle up and do all their shit, get crossbows, pretend they're the walking dead characters and all that, figure that would be a big one. - Everyone wants to be Negan, the most psychopathic character of all. - Is that what that show did to him? - Yeah, everyone loved that character. And it was like, he just brutally murdered. Everyone's like, why is that chick such a bitch to Negan? Well, he did cave her husband's head in with a baseball bat and smiled about it while he was doing that. I think, I don't know if I would forgive somebody about that. - Yeah. - But yeah. - Because he showed us sick people really are, and they didn't reel on, you know, deep down. - While you're out surviving the desert wasteland, I'm going to be on a fucking island. - True. - That's true. - You're going to be playing Frisbee with shades. - That's right. Well, we'll have like special gloves to catch the Frisbee. - Well, you guys use a regular Frisbee. Shades likes his regular Frisbee. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, you don't have to try to kill him. You want? It's fucking to theirs, we'll do whatever you want. - That's right, Shades, who's a robot. - Do what and whoever you want. - Do what and whoever you want. All right, everybody, are we ready for this? Do we got anything else? - Yeah, see, once again, I thought we didn't have any opener. We just gave you a fucking, well, we gave you 25 minutes of gold. - 28, 30. Except for the part where I forgot the thing I already said earlier in that. - Yeah. - It was a glitch, I'm a robot. - There you go. - Look at my hands, Murray. - It's pretty fucked up looking hands. - Pretty fucked up, look at hands. - All right, everybody, let's head off to the future. The far off future of the Old West and Michael Crichton's Westworld. - What'd it be? - Like a martini on the rocks with a twist of lemon, very dry, please. - Just give him whiskey. - He's new in town. (screaming) - What you're seeing isn't really happening. Richard Benjamin and James Brolin are tall boys. They're the kitcheners in a fantastic resort called Westworld. And you'll bring her in the gunslinger, he's a robot. In fact, all of Westworld is peopled by robots. - Kill him. - You'll move. Westworld, the ultimate resort. For over a thousand dollars a day, you can let them out every fantasy you ever have. - Not now. - Tell me just this time. - And nothing can possibly go wrong. - I'm shot. - Go wrong, draw. - Go wrong. - Oh my God. - Go wrong. - Shut down. - Shut down immediately. - Westworld, a fantastic new movie by Michael Crichton. It's time you'll bring her a Richard Benjamin and James Brolin. Westworld, you've never seen anything like it. Where did Gigi? - Welcome back, Golden Globies. Well, you were taking a little break listening to the trailer there. Murray just came up with it. Guys, we just do this shit. Our brains are so galaxyed. - This is something I could never do. - Exactly. We came up with what you heard to open the episode. Like, oh. - Classic hip bump. - Again, what we were talking about with the fucking heavy rock just evaporating out of England. You gotta have groups. You gotta have people in the band coming together. Why do you think Giz has 29 albums now, Murray? - You know why we're never gonna have any good or anything anymore because so much greatness came from being bored. - Yes. - You can't be bored now in today's world. There's like a million things. I don't have enough time in my life to watch the shit I wanna watch. - Exactly. - And so now you're never bored. So you never push to create anything. - Yeah. - To fight the boredom. - Sensory overload is very easy these days. It's so easy to just fucking get lost in shit. - Speaking of getting lost, we can get lost in West's world right now. - We're going to a little place called Delos. And apparently this is like the city where all of our little towns exist then, right? - It's people, yeah, it's where you go to first to then be sent off to whatever world you want to be. - Bill Gates bought this, just think of it that way. - Well, you know Elon Musk is trying to get this started. - Elon's too stupid. - Well, that's true, but. - So basically what would need to happen is one of these Republican governors or something we'd have to say, Elon's got a great idea to build Westworld for real. And then they would give him the land. - Yeah, taxpayer dollars. - But Bill Gates already owns like the most farmland in the world these days. So he's already got the land to do it. That's why it's Bill Gates. - Delos, this is where the three are. - Bill Gates fuck, I mean, we know Elon Fox, he has 50 million illegitimate children. - Yeah. - I'm thinking, I mean, this whole world is about fucking. Fucking in different environments is basically what this movie is about. - Bill Gates is very subtle about the way he likes to fuck. 'Cause he fucks people over in a way that seems like he's really cool, but he's actually a piece of shit. So he's very subtle about it. He's probably into some weird shit. Very weird. - Six shit. - Six shit. I had to agree with that. He's been to Epstein Island, I think. I don't know this for sure. This is-- - Allegedly. - Allegedly, there's the word, thank you. - So we're getting testimonies from people who are exiting Delos. 'Cause this is like an infomercial for Delos. - That's right. Sir, I see you look like you've got a glow on you. Where did you come out of medieval world? I've been fighting with swords and banging broads and even turkey legs. - Banging, banging, damsels and-- - Damsels. - Of course. - It's great. - I love it. - Ma'am, ma'am, where did you come by? See, that smile on your face. Where did you come? Roman world, where we do it. Caligula style. Fisting nonstop. Every hole was penetrated. - She looked like Baron Von Raski doing a fucking promo. - She did. - She was gripping her forearm and-- - Rub and lard on her fist. - Oh. - Yeah, so it's like, yeah, you can, that's the thing about Roman world. You can be the fister or the fisty. - That's right. - Anything goes. - When you get a scan of that Roman world, it's just fucking bats. I don't remember what the Roman bats were called. Vazs, vazs, but they're just bats, urns of Caligula grade lubricant. Everything. - Well lard, I mean, they didn't have lubricant at the time. - Well, it is a lubricant. Lubricant is not a brand. It's a, yeah. - It's a concept. - It's a concept. So. (laughs) - Yeah, it was just, yeah, you know, that's Roman world, and then you call it Greek world, because it's non-stop holes being filled. - Oh my God. And that was the only world if you notice that had people of color in it. - Which is weird. - I mean, I guess Romans did have African slaves, so. - You go there to get freaky, and freaky to some people is banging or being banged by somebody of a different color. - BBCs. - Yeah. - Yeah. - What did you say? - BBCs. - Oh, BBCs, okay. So, yeah, and then they're like, "Sir, where have you come from, Wally?" "Hey there, partner, he's still into it." - Ball character. He had a little sadness in his eyes. I gotta go back to the real world, where nobody wants to fuck me. I have no authority other than the billions of dollars. - I can't feel what it's like to take the life from somebody. - Right. I mean, I'm gonna go charge like-- - Question. - If this was, this was a, this was a, this was a hat. This was real. And it was available to everybody. It was an exclusive $1,000 a day thing. - Okay, yeah. - Would this end war and violence, because you get to exercise all your darkest, deepest, you get to get to get laid, you get to fucking, you know, you're pissed off, so you get to kill a motherfucker, would the world be a safer place if we had this outlet for people's frustrations? - You know, I think for the first little while, it would start that way, but then people get territorial about like the robot woman and shit. - Yeah. - And then it starts all over again. - Probably right. - And they're pissed off. - And it turns into a drug where you need it more and more. - Yeah. - You can't just go once a year. - Right. And if, unless they have like a prorated prices for people of different classes, to make sure everyone gets to get involved. - Of course they're gonna do that. Everything has to be like that. We can't just share shit. It's gotta be, like you said, it's gotta be echelons. - Yeah. - Well the rich-- - I don't wanna be with these. I don't wanna be raping somebody with these people. - Well, you've got the commoner's whorehouse, then you've got the rich people's whorehouse where you get to fuck Grimes, 'cause of course, Elon's involved. - Corvus. - I'm so sorry. - Yeah, yeah, you're right. We're just-- - Rhyme bot. - We're just tragically human. Like we're just gonna fuck everything off, no matter what. - Yeah. I like that, tragically human. Do you remember your great punk band you named last week? - Uh, Concedual Ray. - Concedual Ray. - What was your other punk band that we were talking about? Can you say that one on the mike? - No. - Okay, never mind. I'm so sorry. - 10 years ago I could say. - I'm so sorry then. I'll hit everybody with a nice James Earl Jones no there. - So now, they just laid it out. I know there's three worlds that only the rich are allowed to go to 'cause it's expensive. I know what I need to know. - Right. We get to see, oh yeah, we saw the testimonials, that's right. - Yeah. - And then we cut to, we joined Peter, asking John's all kinds of questions. - Well we're on the hovercraft. - Thank you. - With this guy, with the ultimate aviator, the pilot. - Was this James? - Was this James? - Dan? - Future Shades. - Oh, he's his son. - Actually, this is supposed to be '83, so. - So, yeah, maybe it was James. - Maybe it's his brother. - Maybe he lost it 'cause Westworld collapsed and he had to find a job as a mercenary for the guy in Heart Ticket to Hawaii. - Yeah, I think this is right. - And he gave me the idea for Sideris World and it's just a circle. Life is a circle. - Life is a circle. - Is that the show that gave us Life is a flat circle? No, that was true detective. - So. - But that show was about amazing circles too. Westworld. - Yeah, it was. - Yeah. - So maybe they took it from that. - That's what I was trying to tell you is that's where Barney got his name from 'cause the one scientist's name was Bernard. - Yeah. - But I have horrible hearing and I was like, I think I watched that with Courtney and I was like, is this name Barnard? - Classic Griff thing. Yeah, that makes sense. A character of your name, Barnard. - I don't know. So that's why my cat's name, Barnard. Inside joke for everybody. - Explained, the best kind. - I know. Yeah, he's, I don't know why they did this. I don't know what he's supposed to be 'cause he had, he's wearing aviator shades and this, what he's seeing, 'cause they're like flying through a desert is being superimposed onto the aviers. Not reflecting, it's literally on them. - Google lenses. Is that what it is? Are you saying that this movie inspired everything that the world would have lived in now? - And they did it. I mean, you say they shoot, like they cut to this too many times but they did it kind of subtly. They show, they don't tell a whole lot and that's what it's about. - So they're flying in to, 'cause our heroes, John Blaine and Peter Martin are going to Westworld because John had an amazing experience before. - Right. And this is, again, this is cool. Like we've had Sam, we saw the testimonials, rich people, old, in their 60s up, you know? Boomers of our world. And when we're on the hovercraft, the Hoovercraft, that's all we saw too, besides John and Pete. - John played by James Brolin, father of Josh Brolin. - Okay. - And Peter, Richard Benjamin, who was like big in the 70s for some reason, like there was, I don't know what it was but there was something in the 70s where they were really trying to push Jewish leading men. He had Elliot Gould, George Seagull, Dustin Hoffman, and Richard Benjamin. - Richard? - It didn't stick. - Benjamin or Bergeman? - Benjamin. - Benjamin, okay. - So, I was trying to, I know Richard Benjamin, all you remember from "Love It First" by the comedy Dracula movie from, I think, came out in '79, hilarious, when I was five it was hilarious. I'm sure it's awful, but it was hilarious when I was five. So, we got Pete and he is a little curious, you know? - Well, this is the great, this is how you explain shit. He's like, hey, John, you've been here, tell me. It's better than an exposition dome. - Right. And so, I'm starting, like, I immediately was like, I got a feeling Pete's recently gone through a little bit of life troubles 'cause he says, how much does a gun weigh? Is it heavier than a loaf of bread? - He's like a five year old asking John these questions. - Fancy chorizo or something? Does the cowboy hat fit on my head? Do I do it over the ears or on top of the ears? Where does my hair go? Should I split my mustache? - All contour. - And then, John's like, baby boy, you're gonna have to experience for yourself. - That's right. - West world. He's been there once. So, he, it's like, it's like when, Greg tells me he's been to Europe once. He's just like, let me pet you on the head. - Murray said. - But he teaches you about the world of Europe. - He'll sit right down mattingly, get the projector out. - Like every white person who finds himself in Europe, my sister was the same way, you know. It's a pet you on the head. - Pet you on the head. - He's just like, you'll learn. Just go with it, Peter. 'Cause we, 'cause we don't look, 'cause we seem, like you said, he's been through something. He's gotta get over something. And John is his bro who's trying to help him. - John, just one more question. Can I wear fringe? - You can wear fringe in West world. So flight attendants, Hoover attendants are going around. Gotta put on, you gotta put on your earphones. We gotta do a little orientation. They got, of course, the screens in the back of the headrest. Again, they predicted planes. How planes operate today? - Welcome to Delos, where we have three fantastic worlds. First up, a Roman world. You can get fisted anywhere you want. Every hole gets filled in Roman world. Welcome to a medieval world. And then his husband's like, hey, hey, do his wife. Like, we can go in there. But she's like, Roman world, that's because she wants. - Yeah, she's like fucking checking out the world. - She wants some Roman all over her body. And then we can finally tow West world. So it's like, they're keeping it, I guess, like, I mean, I guess you kind of explained a grip. It's like, this is the test out for robots. Like, they're probably, the idea is to make them out in the real world. But so this is, yeah, it makes sense. - Yeah, you got to keep it isolated. Keep it where your scientist can be on hand and all that. You can fucking work on all this shit. - So they're keeping it grounded. It's still in the real world. It's in the past, but it's in the real world. - Right. - So there's no dragons and shit in medieval world or anything. - No. - No. - That would be cool if they designed a fucking dragon bot. - That's the one world I wouldn't want to, but people look boring. But if it was like dungeon dragons world, that'd be cool as shit. - Fucking jumping pitfalls and shit. - Gilatin' his cubes everywhere. - Gilatin' his cubes. - I'm rollin' dyes. 20 so I did dyes. - Beholding monsters, fucking rollin' around. - Chaotic, evil, all over this fucking place. - Dude, you need some bridges, though. Like, they just have the one kingdom. That's all they had. - Yeah, it wasn't that great. - It was rough. - Hey, 1.25 million, even in the 70s, that wasn't a lot. - They know what their audience wants. Like, we've been talking about, there's 65 plus. They're boomers. - They just want to pretend their dick works, though. - The Viagra Bill for all three worlds here, Delos. - Roman world, this is a big, big urn of just Viagra. You just take a tick-tax. - You get it, you get it lubed up a little bit, so it slips out of the throat easier than it's just-- - Yeah, it's large, though, so you can eat it. - Yeah, collin, you lard. - Yeah, there you go, that's a product you just-- - Oh, shit, that was my one-- - We still care about shit. - I would actually do another fake colligula, that's a great word. - Thank you. - I could maybe one day, I feel inspired, I'll do a fucking fake ad for us of colligular. Back when we cared. - I wanted to do a fucking joke at the opening segment, because last week, and everybody's using this word now, and pretending we didn't invent it last week, 'cause we've invented so many words where the Shakespeare's are modern time. We brought up the fact that we watched a casserole western. Yeah, and I-- - We didn't watch it, we hate casserole western. That's a John Wayne western, that's a bland western. - But did we watch then? - Watched edgy kind of western. - Oh, okay, I didn't know you were calling the John Wayne-- - I can't remember anything I said. I might be totally off, but I thought that was like, I thought casserole, it was dead. No, casserole was the American interpretation of a spaghetti watch. - That's right, that's what it was. So that was the movie we watch, because it was this-- - Yeah, yeah, okay. - So, because I was asking you, what's the meat and potatoes? And you said that's like John Wayne. - Yeah. - Oh, okay, so that was casserole. I wanted to call this one because it's a sci-fi western, a soyland western. - Oh, okay. - So we're sticking to the food thing, and we're also getting the sci-fi element, because soyland-- - It probably came out of the same year. - Yeah. - And it was a lot of dystopian seventies, it was a rough time, people. I mean, I know Trump tells us that we're living in another Mckarnage now, live in the seventies, man. And you had to have hair all over your ears. - Dude. - That was the one that was basically John and fucking Peter, me and Greg, basically, like, I mean, I know it's, I mean, if he didn't have the mustache, yes, I would be like, okay, it's not. But if, if you're looking, I mean, and I wouldn't have the fucking hair touch in my ears, John's hair was totally-- - All over his ears. - Blumbling his ears. - All over his ears, yeah. - I mean, I got a haircut yesterday, and I was like, cut it shorter. - Shortly. - 'Cause I was so obscene, I was touching my ears for a couple weeks. - It was ridiculous. - And it was fucking enraging me. - No one else I would care about, but for you, I'm like, oh, that hurts me for you to see that, like, you're up, I had to put some colligular to, like, slick it, so he was touching my hair. But anyway, so they, you get these color codecs, 'cause whatever world you're going to, you get a color-coded badge, and then you get on a little golf cart where they take you to your world. - And this is kind of showing us how these three worlds are connected. There's this whole underground tunnel system. Another thing-- - Elon failed that. - There was a nice touch because it threw me off, but then I'm like, oh, okay. 'Cause a woman is like showing them to wait to the elevator, and then she turns around and stares off, and I'm like, what the fuck's up with her? And then Peter's like, these are all robots, aren't they? Like, all the servants are robots, too. It's not just in the world, and that's what she was, so that's a nice touch. - Damn. - That you don't know who's human and who's a robot. First time directing, and he got subtle little things that you just pass over, and that's fucking cool to see. - I didn't notice that. That's a good catch, 'cause this is where we get the exposition about the hands. - They have the effect of the pussy. They put a lot of time in R&D into the pussy. - This is what we were talking about in the top half, though. It's like, of course, men are wasting all their time on this. - Self lubricating, everything. - Oh, my God. - I wonder. - I mean, I don't know. - It's just wording, but that's the thing. We were just talking about how this is just boom or shit. It's all about you. So I was wondering what robo-pussy tastes like, but these guys probably don't go down on a one. - No, they would never do that. That's disgusting. What are you talking about? - Yeah. - So yeah, I'm still wondering what robo-pussy tastes like. I would try it, but I'm just saying. - You might learn a thing or two. Maybe it's like a training dummy. - Maybe you get your analytics afterwards, and it's like, you gotta improve here and there. - I'm so sorry. - So the hands, they hadn't prof- I didn't even remember what was wrong with the hands. They showed them, and I didn't- - They showed? - With just like a rubber glove on a hand? - They showed the one, there's giant, like where we have our creases for knuckles and everything, they have giant ringlets. And that's why I made the joke to you. They were ripped for our pleasure. - Okay, I didn't watch on laser disc, so I didn't pick up. - Mattingly was obsessed with that part. - I thought it was gonna be, they had like a little, when they first mentioned it, it was gonna be like, Logan's wrong, they'd be a little jewel in it, the power thing. - Oh, maybe yeah. - Like I think where the battery connects. - Yeah, just giant ringlets. - Okay. - All right, so- - It makes no sense, like, I mean, I can't- - I mean, we need something to diff, so our heroes can differentiate, so they're not totally lost. - I guess it's just trying to be like, there's too many points of articulation. Three, you know? - This rip is difficult. - Do not get a hand job in Westworld, it's all we're saying. - That was my joke. - Yeah, that was- - Yeah, that was the joke I had, or- - Rip for your pleasure. - No, speed bumps for a hand job. - That one might be good, I don't know. - Yeah, somebody would try it. - Well, yeah. - Well, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, typical opener here for us. (laughs) Two paragraphs in. - We don't have a, I mean, this is only a fucking page and a half here. - If you fall in love with a robot, does that make you a mecha file? - Yes, it does. - Because you're fucking a human, but are you- - But wait, wait a minute, what is it? - I think we're gonna have to review fucking this. We've talked about this fucking thing for so much. - That's true. - Because I've done this under the perception in that, and that's the transformer, that in that special we watch, it was vehicles. - Yeah, I thought it was, I do not really care for the human form. - You can't research the Greek origins of the word mecha file, I don't even know, doesn't mean just anything made out of metal. - Here's what I'm thinking. I think- - Can you fuck a rubber raft? Is that considered mecha filia? - Well, no, I think it's gotta have some mechanical components, mecha. So this has lots. - It's the transformer's pornography for that guy, for mecha filia. - It could be. - It very well could be. They might think they actually make that wah wah wah noise, and that's what gets them- - Or they would go if they could job. - Goddamn Michael Winslow's here today. - But would they just, 'cause I assume that means they don't like our human forms. So they'd be like, yeah, take that face off that we see you O'Brenner do, you know later. They'd be like, take the face off, I don't wanna stare into eyes, I wanna stare into little mechanical bits. But they might still be into it, 'cause they wanted a fucking human hole. They just wanted it to be belonging to a car. So they do just want like, you know, a robot vagina or an asshole or something, in a mech, a helicopter, a car. - Just put a flashlight in the tailpipe and you're ready to go. So before they go in, they gotta get outfitted first. It's cosplay, you gotta look the part. And you see, John, he's like, where's the fringe, where's the fringe? - A peer is asking where the fringe is. - Or I'm sorry, Peter, I got my names wrong. - Yeah. - I forgot to watch the table. Idiot. But, you know, he's got, once he gets that fringe, he calms himself, he's looking at all, they kept showing the brushes for, for what's it called? Shaving cream and everything. So many brushes, I was not expecting that. - Yeah, I think about spending a weekend, I'm not even shaving, who cares? - Yeah, exactly, it's like two, three days, but I got a de-immersion. They wanted to give you all the fucking detail. - That's why I wouldn't want to be in these worlds, because then I'm thinking like, I gotta be in a place where there's fucking plumbing. I can't, you know, do this, you know. - I do think about where I'm gonna shit often. - You got to. - That's the hardest. - Because it's something everybody's got to do. - Right, gotta plan out your poops, people. Plan your poops. - So, he's getting his gut, he's twirling around. - Yeah, they're loving it. And they're dropped off at the Grand Hotel. That's really gonna be staying for their weekend. - We just cut up to their hotel room, and this is where we get, Peter. Well, I don't know, this bed's awfully hard. I mean, where am I gonna plug my noise machine into? I can't sleep without my noise machine. Where am I gonna hang my, oh, there's a rusty nail there. I can hang my dream catcher up there. That actually is age appropriate, you know. They had dream catchers back in the Western times too. - Did they, or were we just, there's something white people made off instead of like Indian shit? - You know, that feels like such a white person. - 'Cause I was weirdo, we didn't see, were there, or there was one woman Indian? - Yes, there were. - But there weren't, you think there'd be a lot more, that you figure all these fucking pale faces, that's the people you wanna shoot in this fucking world. - And what was I talking about these fucking boomers in Romanian or Roman world at least, they wanted to fuck a POC? You'd think there would be a few more BBC's what they wanted to fuck. (laughing) - It was just the ladies who were looking for the, - I don't know, Roman world's explore everything, it's colligula land. - We've learned about the boomers, they had to grow up with communal showers and everything, so they just really liked dicks. - They do like being naked around. - They love it, the only time I've been to. - Why is it that only unattractive people love to be naked all the time, in public? - I don't know man, I don't know. Shapes, we're the weir of the shape, the floor you wanna shine. - If I saw how I had fired a nudist colony, I would vomit. - I don't think I could go to that show. - Oh my goodness. - I could it. - So Bellhop brings her bags and puts his hand up for a tip, that's the same everywhere. - Yup, and that's where we get the clothes up and we see the Riblet, the giant riblet. (laughing) - You were talking about another random tangent. - Perfect episode. - You're talking about words you hate. I found out a word on it. Riblet does make me nauseous. I saw, I heard it's commercial. It was for chicken nuggets and they're calling them nuggies now. - Yeah, nuggies. - I don't wanna eat a nuggy. - How about tendies? Just, damn, we're not five. - They're trying to turn us into Australia. - They're trying to turn us into children. We just have children movies now come out and we talk like children. - Excited for the Minecraft movie? - I know, I've heard the word Minecraft. I have no idea what it's about, but I've heard that word. - Yeah. - Oh my God. - So, he's like, he says Riblet, and like, ugh. It's like it's-- - This is so Pete and audience. - God. - Michael, if you've been shooting movies your whole life 'cause you're doing a fucking great job. Like, it's good, you're getting us from A to B to C. All right, so Pete complaining, bad room temperature, and then he starts in, and you know, my wife would really like, he picks up a vase and sees that it was made in the 1800s, and he's like, my wife would really like to shop around here and that's when John hits him with a look man. - Right, he's like, look, man, we're here to have fun. Who reason we're here is to get you over that bitch. All right, she did you dirty, Peter. - You're a lawyer. - This has got money. - Beautiful way. - Michael, cry in to tell us this is a fucker with money. You're a lawyer. You know that bitch, drag you through the colds, run you up, laid you out the pasture. - Took everything you were worth. - You sleep in a race car now. - Right. - You sleep in a cyber truck. - So on this one. - They're the worst. - Yeah, they're so stupid. - They're the worst. - You need, you know what you need to do? You don't need to wet your whistle, you need to wet your dick. So we're gonna go down, we're gonna murder somebody, and then we're gonna fuck like Jackrabs. - So we also get to see some of the other nerds. We get like three side stories kind of here. And one of them is the guy who ends up being the sheriff. - So. - Hit fan Patton, every of all you 70s people, the dad from eighties and not. - Oh, really? - Okay, so we'll call him. - Who was also in a bit part two, Soiling Green. - No shit. - He played the guy that was at the suicide center. He was like, sir, would you like to-- - Yeah. - Tell yourself. - So yeah, he's a total dork. - We'll call him Dick then. - Yeah. - He was a dick. He's like twirling his gun, like doing the fucking on a taxi driver thing, talking to me, into the mirror. - That's right. - And then he just shoots the gun, shoots the mirror. It's a little like, you know, comedic relief scene. - We head down to the bar with our boys and Pete's in there and he's like, sir, uh-- - Well, John first was like, give me a whiskey. He's been here. Give me some red eyes. He's like, totally immersed. - No bar stools in here. It's just a place to put your leg up and everything. Classic. - Spook tunes everywhere. - Big mirror so you can stare into your lonely self in the mirror, just feel like I spent $1,000 to come here, you know, like really think about life's decisions and then you drink them away. That's what a good bar does to you. - Uh, and then Pete's like, you're right, I really should get in the spirit of this whole thing. Give me a ginty! - And of course, that's an eye drop of vodka with the lemon. - He explained it, yeah. Well, you're explaining, he was explained to the bartender. - Yeah, yeah, Pete's trying to explain it. Oh, that's an eye drop of vodka. Do you have an eye dropper? Don't worry, I brought one with me. I knew I was gonna be drinking heavily this weekend. Eye drop of vodka, lemon sparkle water, stir them. Counterclockwise, has to be-- - Not bruise the sparkling water. (laughing) - What did you pick this up? What did you pick that up? Is that how you get your sparkling water when you get your fucking shit out? - I love it, I love it, bruise. - You like your sparkling water, bruise? - I beat the shit out of my fucking work. - People will talk about this episode forever. It's the episode they got colligular, it's the episode they got bruised, sparkle water, the ginty, which I'm sure Phil's already-- - Phil, are you working on it? Are you approving it? - I sent the copyright materials already over to you, it's your drink, if you choose to accept it. - So generous, we are. - And the bartender is like, 'bout to melt food deep, deep, deep, deep, too much information, and the john's like, you give him a whiskey as well. - Right, and so he calms down to the part. Am I confusing this for High Plains Drifter if it's already happening? - Yeah, I am. - You are confusing. - Oh, of course I am. - All right, so Pete, I'm feel a little silly here, John. I just, I don't know, robots. I spent, what did I just tell you guys? You're staring into that mirror, he's realizing he just spent a bunch of money, his wife's taking him for the rest of the money, and he's like, I feel fucking silly here, and he's holding up that little fucking thing, a whiskey, and then somebody chubs into him. - That's somebody, Griff. The man himself, Yule Brenner, who's made up to look just like his character from the Magnificent Seven, were it all black, he's the gun the slanger in this movie. - You really didn't like how he walked, but was that him? - No, it was great, because it was robo-walking. - It was creepy as fuck. - And apparently, Schwarzenegger used that to do his terminator. - No shit. - Yeah. - It works. - No, it did work, because he didn't look human. He walked like a robot, so I give props to Yule. - Yeah, it's fucking creepy. - I was just amazed. I never really thought about Yule Brenner. He looked like a very tiny man. Like, when you look tiny in a movie, you must be really tiny, so I don't know. But yeah, but I mean, this is why they hired him, because he, I mean, it wasn't his most famous role, but his role in Magnificent Seven. - I mean-- - Because he decked out just like the character. - He, it's not his face, but he is on the cover, his character of Westworld. - Right. - I mean, Yule Brenner had unique Loki stands out. You notice him. - Right. - So good casting. - Of course. - Well, I think, we talked about Telly's voice. I think Yule Brenner was the first guy to make bald cool. - I think so. - He did it 10 years earlier. So he's like, "Bardander, get this baby a beep." 'Cause he's got that weird fucking-- - Excuse me. - He's got that weird, 'cause he's rushing in real life. - Oh. - So, he sounds, he sounds like Western and all, he bardander, get the baby a beep. - Okay, okay, I heard that one. You were going full Pepe on us. Get that baby a beep it. And then John's like, "Yes, your chance. Get that frustrated." You know, it's magic that bitch wife of yours, kill that motherfucker. - Well, I don't know. I mean, what if he's not a robot? I can't just go up to him and-- - John, or Pete? Be a man. Be a man. - They never really explained why, how like, if you shot a person you thought was a robot and it was a person. Oh, they did. - They did, they did. They said, "You can." - Okay. - Okay. - I was thinking about the robot shooting people, but yeah, you're right, they did explain it. - Yeah. - So, but what happens though, when if your fantasy interconnects with somebody else, what if three guys wanna be the sheriff? What do they do about that? - I know, I know. There's a lot of-- - I mean, you would think they have like, you come in, you have a narrative you want, and you have to submit it to them. - Almost, yeah. Which would make the immersion even better, because then you're saying, "Here's exactly what I want my immersion to be. "You make it happen." It's interesting, but they kind of play it out like, you've got a cast of Dungeon Masters in the control room, because we cut to them to see them, and it's as dorky as it sounds. This fucker thinks he can fuck Daphne, we gotta retool her to actually be at the slobs. - He did a good job of that too, 'cause it felt natural, 'cause the guy's like, "Yeah, give me a BLT, like there's bored of this job." You know, like-- - Cry into it, like, again, not great. You're not like, you need to stop everything and wash this movie, but you stop on this movie, and you'll just enjoy it. It's just enjoyable. - So, John's egging Peter on to fuck with the Gunslinger. - Finally goes over there. Sir, I do not need a bib. This is real fringe, and you have fucked it. - This is suede. - You know how hard it is to get sparkling water? I need to wash it with sparkling water to get the sparkling water stained. - Is that what it is, the brew sparkling water? - Yeah, you know you use fresh sparkling water to get the brew sparkling water out. - But he's got clean sparkling water. You said no brews. - Well, we're being serious, he has whiskey. - Well, no, yeah, he-- - But if he had his choice. - He had his choice, yeah. - All right, so he steps up. And of course, this is gonna turn into a draw. Everybody in the bar scatters, except for John. - Well, John, he jumps over the bar. - Oh, he did? - Yeah, he's hiding behind the bar, 'cause he's giggling, you know, 'cause like my buddy's finally gonna feel that everyone should feel murdering somebody. - That's right. So, they split off, and they go into a slow motion, Steve Austin, million-dollar-man effect, where doo-doo-doo, what'd I say? - He said million-dollar. - Well, I'm six million, though. - I'm five short. And we see Pete land his first shot at a human, quote, unquote, human being, hits him like gut shot. - Yeah. - And then he hits him like the other side of the gut. He went for center mass, at least. Like, he took those lessons very seriously, and he ends up landing four shots, and that, of course, takes out fuel. - And they high-five each other, and they walk out, go back to the hotel, and yeah, this is a scene where like, Peter's like, well, how, how? 'Cause he's like, he's like, these are live rounds, right? He's like, yeah. - Yeah. - And he's like, well, what if I, I didn't know he was a robot, and I just shot. - 'Cause he's questioning it. Like, he's like, I just shot a man. You shot a robot. Well, how do I know? - He's like, he's like, shoot me. - Yeah. - No, he's like, this shoot me, bitch. And he's like, click, click. He's like, see, they got sensors in here. They will not shoot a warm blooded human being. It's got predator vision. - All right, well, we're gonna take a quick cut over to Medieval World, where we see this all our fucking nerd. Again, no names in this movie. Perfect for us. So I, well, if we'll remember, we'll call this guy Banker, because they had one guy in IMDB credit is Banker. So we'll say it's this guy. Did he come here with his wife or was he alone? - I don't know, he was fucking everything that was a nail down. He was trying to fucking fuck everything. And I loved it, because-- - Why didn't you go to fucking Caligula Land then? - I know. - Well, he didn't want to get, he was afraid that someone would try to fuck it. Maybe-- - Finger in his ass, you don't want to-- - Maybe he used to be gay. Or he's trying to, he's trying to-- - I heard that there's actually a gay conversion for World 2. - Yeah, that definitely is. - Maybe he tried that out first. - He might've. - I think he just wanted to wear leotards. - You know what, I think that would-- - That's the only thing I wouldn't want to be. - 'Cause he did not want to do any of the sword fighting, any of that. - He wanted sword fighting, but at this time-- - He wanted to eat, and he wanted to flash his gross genitals at people. - It's a renaissance fare. That's cheaper than $1,000 a day. - Well, there's no fuckable robots. He's not fucking a human. This guy's got no charisma, no riz. - Maybe three of them are saying riz, yeah. I'll be sure it'll be 83. - Red riz. - So, yeah, he was just fucking banker nerd. - Making googly eyes with the queen in the medieval world, of course. Again, like you were saying, this is the fun conversation you get to have with this movie. What if everybody wants to fuck the queen? 'Cause he's in power, and like, they want to simp the king or something. - Yeah, cock the king. - Cock the king, exactly. There's gotta be so many people like, can I please cock the king? - Right. They really would have to be like, here's some scenarios, and then we'll lottery it to see who gets it. - See, we're putting holes in this fucking, this is why we'll never get a Westworld in real life. - They got poking the holes. - That's right, we're just poking the holes in them. - So, we go back to our boys, they're dining at the hotel, they're talking with a woman who owns it, they're like, excuse me, ma'am, madam, ma'am, we're gonna get my dick wet. - Oh, I will not take that kind of talk at my dick table. - Nerd is at the table, 'cause all the guests are at this white table, like they would in the old west. - That dick is there. - Yeah, and dick is like, I got my dick wet over at, I'm madam, what's your face, this place? - I gotta tell you guys, if you wanna get your debt, debt, dick wet, you gotta go over here, they'll definitely suck it. They will touch it, they will look at it, they will tell you it's okay, and they will suck it. - Don't eat the pussy, it doesn't even taste good in Westworld. (laughing) - So, did you try it? - Of course he did. - What are you trying to say here? - You're making something got a weird commentary here. - No, I'm not at all interested. - Somebody's got a choice, I told you I would try it. - I know, I know, but your message was, nobody in this age group is eating pussy, and then you're like, actually dick tried it. (laughing) - He tried it, that's what I'm saying. - Is he just enamored by pussy so much that he's like, "I gotta give it a go." - Yeah. - Okay, okay. - Loves it. - Okay, maybe he's a penthouse guy. - Yeah, he is. So, our boys go over to, I think it was Madam Carey's place, and they're hanging out, and did you recognize who Madam Carey was? - No, I don't think so. - It was Nurse Chapel from Star Trek, aka Gene Roddenberry's real life wife. - Oh, no shit. - Yeah. - And it's, we're here in talk, there's about some bank robbers, it might happen. There's all these scenarios you can interact with, like I guess they just hate it here. So we're like, "Fuck it, no, what the fuck?" "The Carlin Boys are in town!" (laughing) Not Stacey, Brittany's ain't in town, but the Carlin Boys are in town. Look out, it's a rough hombres. - Oh man, look out! - So John walks in, and again, he's done this whole trip before. So, they could've done the thing where they made him the annoying friend, "Oh, you gotta do this, this is the best." We gotta go over here and get the beef past these, because those are the best. Like, he could've done that, but no, he stays quiet, he kinda lets Pete go his own way, but when he walked in that whorehouse, he goes, "Snap his fingers, you, me, you, you can have him. "You're the easy one." Like, the gentle one, not easy, gentle. - The French one. - Oh, she was French? - He pointed out that, she was French. - Oh, okay, 'cause I was wondering, yeah. - And like, Pete, he probably only fucked his wife in an entire life, so he's wore, he's like, I don't know if I'm going to last, but if I can't get it up, there's also Splatoon's full of fucking bi-agrin, fucking last world, everywhere. - I'm glad you got it right, Splatoon. - Yeah, right, yeah. - Don't spit at him. - Yeah, hopefully. - And he's the kind of worried he won't be able to perform, and like, John, like, oh, give the fuck if you fucking satisfy these who was. This is a robo who was. - Yeah. - It's about us, bro. This is the bro weekend. - Again, I'm... So John is making, Pete's making everything he's trying to get out of it. That's when he hears the gunshot. - What do you think that is? - Just a bank robbery. They do this every Friday at 8 p.m. That's the scenario that they roll out here, so... - Well, maybe we should go join them. We could probably stop the... - You're gonna get your dick wet, buddy. - Pete, fuck your whore. - Go upstairs, go to your little room, get your little pecker out, and let this little Frenchie suck your dick. She's gonna suck it for you, buddy. I promise you, she's gonna milk you. (laughing) - That's why it would be like, you know, if they perfected it, I don't know. So, he goes up to the room, he gets like, he's like, "Can you turn around while I undress please?" And he like, takes his clothes off, then jumps underneath the covers. All right, you can turn around now. - But hold on, dim that candle, just dim it a little bit. Don't blow it out. - Dip it candle. - Don't blow it out, I said dim it. Dim the candle. I guess she could have draped something. - And even the fucking robot's like, oh my god, another one of these guys. - The robot's eye acting was fantastic, by the way. She was doing a great job. Oh yes, I really do want your cock. - Let's do this. Are you enough strong for me? - And then, thankfully, we cut away. But we assume Pete got, as the phrase we've been using throughout this episode, got his dick wet. - So, we close with just a close up of the robot. She's holding him, just brushing the back of his head. - She's taking charge, yeah. - And they zoom in at her face as she turns and does the elevator lady, where she just kind of cocks to the side and their eyes kind of metallic glazed over. - Yeah. So, the next night, or is this later in the fucking night? - This was like, after their hour, 45 minutes were up, we were with the ladies and they-- Like, wow, you don't have time, we're trying to escape the real world, you know? Like, in the real world, you do have to pay for a prostitute's time, or if you come. - Well, they still have-- - I hope it even come multiple times, or is this that immersive, that you're like, no, you come once, we're done. - I don't know, Murray, you might be able to put in a partition to get the lady for an extra long time, but you know, there's other patrons here. There's only so many ladies. - They got to clean them out, I hope they clean them out. - You know, there's got to be some kind of spin cycle happening there, like you, they got to-- - Self-cleaning vaginas? - Remove that thing, and like, run it through the dishwasher. Yeah, go downstairs, empty it out. - I'd hate to have that job. The tech guys got to do that. - You know, there's a robot cleaning them, there's no way they were like, we're gonna hire, yeah. (laughing) - We don't have Mexico cans in 1983, let's say. - That would be like the job for the, the people who had a clean up Twitter, you know, like the racist and creepy fox and all that, that would be that job. The sense that people actually have to go out, and the people trying to post like child porn shit. - What do we need, AI? - Yeah. - AI, by the way, this episode brought to you by AI. So, they get done, like John's like, well, how was it, bro? Well, I'm gonna tell you, he suddenly is John Dehart. Gotta tell you, I'm a pretty good lover, I forgot. - She told me herself. - She told me, she said. - She's never had sucks like this before in her life. - Best dick in the West. That's what she said. - I rope escorted her, when she rope escorted me. - She's a lot of squirting going, that's what I'm saying. She's great. - I got to see her buttocks. They were flat as a cast iron pen. - She has like the old West. - Just like the old West. - So, and outside there's like the bank robberies happening, so we're hearing shooting and e-hogs. - Oh no, it finished. - And they're just like, huh, I don't hear it anymore. I guess that bank robbery ended. And they have a big laugh because they had the night of their lives. - They robbed a bank. So then we cut out like everybody, I guess, apparently, there's like a curfew on Westworld and the shutdown. So you figure you wanna do crazy shit in the middle of the night, but no. - You would, yeah, you would think there would be like a bar for just like the people to hang out. - You paid all this money and there's an eight hour window and then the other 16 hours you had to be talked away. 'Cause that's what they did to all. - So the cleanup crew comes up and they pick up all the dead bodies, the robots, even the horses, everything, everything, the robot here. - That's right. - And they take them down to where they gotta fix them up again for the next day. So they're working on them. Some people's like, huh, I'm noticing something is going on, weird with this. - Yeah, we got a chief supervisor. - He didn't have a name either. - A scientist, bald mustache. Every chief scientist they had here had a mustache. - Well, every 173 had a mustache. - Oh, okay. - And he's going through-- - In hair on their ears. He was bald, he hit hair on his ears. - Yeah, of course he did. And we've seen like there's a big shoot that the robots go down and then they put 'em on a gurney and then they set 'em up on an operating table and you got crews working on each robot. Good operation, they got runnin' here before Elon ruined everything by firing everybody and said, yeah, the robots will fix themselves. And they do mention later that some of the AI was made by AI. - Right, which is very futuristic of Michael Kriton to predict that. - Michael Kriton's doin' his fuckin' heat. - Doin' his due diligence. - The best sci-fi is also simple sci-fi. Like, you can figure the shit out pretty quickly. Anyways, chief supervisor, runnin' through, lookin' at all, he's the guy being like, what have you found on this robot? And then given the people like the instruction of what he wants them to do and then they do it. - And he keeps hearing people just coming up with, yeah, I thought he was just gonna be a balance issue again, but it turns out I follow the trace the air back. It's another central unit error. That's it, central unit error, perfect. We don't need to focus on these things. - And you can tell this guy's ready to get fired because he takes the issues actually to the board to talk about. - The mustache board. - Right, so they're a meeting with all the lead tech guys and he's talking about these issues they're having and he's like, oh, it started about six weeks ago in the Roman world, but it's slowly been like a disease migrating into the medieval world and then finally into Westworld. It's like a plague is spreading. - That's what you were saying earlier. This was the invention of computer viruses. - Right, yeah. - So another scientist just claims, that's silly, computers don't get viruses and then someone peeps and goes, actually-- - Actually, one of our horror robots got clemated. I don't know how it happened. - Well, our self-cleaning units fucked up. The plural of virus is vi-ry, excuse me. So the lead techs are about to be fucking-- - Well, one guy's like the shareholder, he's like, is this gonna affect us making money? 'Cause we're not shutting this down. I don't give a fuck. Can you work on it while everything's running? - And this is where, like I just mentioned it, but this is where chief supervisor's just like, I mean, we do have the other robots working on the robots. So-- - Well, he's like, I don't know how to fucking fix this shit. - Yeah. - 'Cause the AI is doing it. - Right, so-- - You don't even know how the, technically we don't even know how the robot policies work. - Right, we don't know how the sausage is made. Even the us, a fucking egg heads don't work. - Or sucked. And so he's just like, so we're like, oh wow, these guys don't give a shit, which fits with corporations. - Corporations, exactly. When you're doing things for profit, you don't give a fuck. - All right, so everybody's set up. The robots are all fixed off, they're set up, they're waiting to be opening day, like you said, since it's an eight hour window, we got-- - Someone's going up, they still have the old school rooster with the crank it on its back to get it going and heat hauling and all that shit. - And then there are, and there was one big button, pushes it, everything starts moving again. Time for day two. And then, so we see the banker, oh no, sorry, this is Dick. - Dick. - Dick wakes up, sees that same fucking French whore is in his bed. - Yeah. - And so was she just like shut down up until he woke up? - That's what I think happened. Do they like have it breed? 'Cause otherwise-- - But what happened was it broke down, he took it back to the hotel with him, you know? - He wheeled it back. - He doesn't even have game for a robot. He's just like, he has to wait till they shut down. Fucked it while it was shut down, which is dangerous. You know, what is that? You're Dick, you know? And he just gets way with her. - That would, I'd imagine like, there's some kind of juice introduction system to the robot vagina and it would shut off. - Maybe he says some handful of colligularity. - Well, we have said, there's a handfuls of colligularity everywhere. - A group and colligularity in every world. So this guy has been, if you watch in the background, you do see him just picking up Viagra's consequences. - It's funny how it's an immersive thing, but they allow you to have blow dryer stick, blow dry your balls. 'Cause there's so much boomer energy in this fucking place. They're like, I gotta fucking blow dry my balls, dude. - I didn't understand it, that's a boomer thing too. - Isn't it? - I don't know. - You've been in more locker rooms than I have. - I have been in quite a few locker rooms, but man, I don't know if I've seen that one. - That is, it is interesting. - Well, Murray, to be honest, a blow dryer kinda looks like an old western gun, so it was still loud. - Gotta make some accommodations for the boomer. - Well, it's their audience. They're the paying customer. If they want this thing to get off-- - Cosmo's always right. - Exactly, so they have to be good. - So Pete's in the bath, taking a bath, high-plane, drifter style, midgets pouring the fucking hot water. - Mordecai. - He's singing at home on the range. He's getting into it, finally. And John's shaving, he's like, my baby boy. He's done it, you know? - John, I gotta thank you. I can't even remember what's her name. - He's even talking with a western accent now. - Oh, you're late. - And John's just like, you're getting it, buddy. And then I think he goes, John leaves to go to his room. - Yeah, there's a knock on the door, and he goes to answer it, and it opens. Gunslinger. - Moving. - So he takes it to the room, and John's like, "He's not scared, this is fucking fun." - Right, but he's playing along. He's a good role player, he's a good D&D player. So he's back in the corner, he's got half his face. He chose the camel brush, you know? 'Cause for some reason. - The classic movie, this happens in every single movie, a guy gets it. Every time you see a guy getting shaving, he gets interrupted. - Interrupted. - Wipes, he's putting Nair on his face, 'cause he has wipes, and he's magically clean shave. - Completely clean, it's amazing, yeah. You're right, you're right. - Yeah, it always irks me, that's why I put that piece. - That is so funny, I didn't even think up on that, but yeah. - And so, Pete is like, John should have joined me for the third verse of, you know, whatever song he was, "Home on the Range." That's unlike him, something is a foot. So, Pete gets out of the tub, grabs his gun, comes around through the front door, and gets the surprise on. - He's whipping balls, 'cause he didn't have time to dry him with a blow dryer. Which offends an old lady across the fucking-- - Mom! Sir, your balls are a trippin', I could be slippin'. - Wow, wow, Wes. - That could be a rhyme in that. - It is, I stole it. - So, Pete's like, 'cause remember, this is like, this is like, John might be paying for it, just 'cause he wants to get his bro over this fucking, so it's Pete's weekend. It's his job, he gets to do all the fun shit. - This gave me an idea for another world. - Okay. - Back to the future of One World. Think of how many people wanna be-- - Go back and fuck their mother? - Marty, go back in time, fuck them. Well, they say like half the population has an edifice complex, so. There you go. - Is it all men, 'cause population is men? (laughing) - Well, again-- - How many women wanna fuck their mothers? - There's a hatred for our world, it's all men. So, yes, they wanna go back and fuck their trad mom, make them their trad wives, and then they can fight Biff and feel cool, 'cause they wanted to be Biff. - I don't know, that's, I don't know. - No legs there? - I wouldn't go there. So, Pete kicks the fucking door in. Gunslinger turns around slowly, and Pete just unloads on, he flies out the window. - All right. - Great fucking fall by this stunt man, by the way. - It really was. And now, Pete is so high on his dripping wet balls that he turns to John and goes, "Stuck God, bothering you, pal." - Right, he's loving, he's just like, "I like killing." I never thought I was a killing guy, but it's fun. - He's recently divorced, a lawyer. - Kids hate him. - Six figures, kids hate him, he's learning a lot of guns. (laughing) We got a Reagan Republican on the making right here. - Yeah, that's what all the hippies became anyway. - This is where it began, this is how they converted a lot of the liberals into conservatives back then. They did it through Westworld, this is what Elon's trying to do. - That's it, that's it. - So, there are some laws in Westworld, and one of them is not killing a man, even if they have the gun on your friend. So the sheriff, so sorry, you noticed he had the badge inside his vest too. - He went to jail for a trip in my balls, like you gotta go back and tell the story. - I just lady told me, "You exposed your dripping wet balls to her." That is, you might kill a man. - Yeah, Pete, Pete was like, "Hey, I only killed him because he had a gun on my friend." He dropped his accent because this is getting too real for him. He's like, "I can't go to jail, I'm a millionaire." - I spent a thousand hours here to go to jail? - Yeah, exactly, I can't sit here all day. And yeah, that's the-- - So he gets thrown in jail, and John's like, got an idea, another fun caper. - They got fun little music here. Just like doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. - So he has a young lovely Native American woman, send a little gift to John. - And of course, it's lunch time. And even a robot sheriff knows that humans need to eat. So he's looking at, he has to look at the dishes. - Yeah, 'cause like she has it covered with like a towel or something. - Right, and it's a nine course lunch, of course sandwich, dessert sandwich, appetizer sandwich. - Side of the lard, does it dip your sandwich in? - Oh, you gotta lube it up, fake, come on. - How you throw, yeah. - Man, this one-- - Red was really dry in the 1800s, what, heart attack, you know? - Well, yeah, heart attack. - So he's like, "Well, that looks good to me, little lady, you can give 'em that mealer." - I'm gonna go ahead. - I look like just lifted a little corn, like, that looks pretty good. - And what is hiding under this is even better because-- - It's ridiculous. - We're assuming-- - I thought, I was assuming a nail file. - Yeah. - It's a classic. - No. - Classic. So the sheriff after the native woman leaves, "Well, my time for me to be in in the old dusty sleepy trails." Kicks his boots up, tilts his hat, and goes to sleep. So again, he under that, nail file under that. - No, but there is a little like, no, it's like a napkin. He looks, and he just goes, "Oh, that job." - That job. - Then we cut away, so I was assuming it was a no-- 'cause he had to show you the no, so I'm assuming he's like, "Get ready for me to bust you out." - Right. - And what they were gonna do was tie like some rope to a horse to the window and rip the window out. - Right, something like that. - Yeah, it would make sense because this is ridiculous. - This is, this is something. - Only in Westworld. - Yeah, 'cause the John's sitting there waiting, and all of a sudden the wall, the back wall, the cell gets blown out. - From inside people. - Yeah, I don't know how they know how dynamite works, but it goes out in both ways. It doesn't go in one direction. So John would be, I mean, popular would be obliterated. - Yes, but he's fine. - Yeah, it's, yeah. - He runs out, jumps on the horses. - We get the fuckin' little fiddle music goin' on. - He meets up with John in front of the sheriff's office. The sheriff and stuff going on at the back goes out the front door, and John shoots the sheriff dead. - I should have the sheriff. We did not shoot the deputy. - That's right. - And they run off. - Giggling like school girls. - But we're gonna cut down to the control room, and the filter team, this is, of course, the guys who have to filter out all the child porn and all that shit. You notice there's no child robots here. - Thank God. - Thank fucking God, because you know these boomers would be fucking weird about it. - Girl, you got pigtails. - No! - Nevermind, I'm so sorry. I am so sorry for that. I'm gonna just put a no in right there. (laughing) - So yeah, like we see the inner workings of how these worlds work, and that they're constantly monitoring what the people want. So like, oh, if I've noticed nerd number three here, he's really into the queen. So let's change their scenario, so the queen is interested in him. - Right, and so of course they have a rendezvous, they happen to meet bump uglies, this is banker, and he happens to get a secluded area with the queen alone, and so he starts kissing on her and everything. And she's just like, well, I do hope you can court me later tonight, but I will be with the Black Knight, and he's upset, 'cause he knows you've been looking at me. - He's not into cucking. - But I will tell you something, the Black Knight has a weak left eye. - And then we see, calibrate weak left eye in the Black Knight, so they're like, so they got everything covered, man. All right, we're going back over to Westworld, and there's a new sheriff in town, 'cause there's better void. I mean, the sheriff got shot dead. Dickey, little Dickey has stepped up. I'm the new sheriff, and we go down the control room again, and we're just learning again, this guy's first day in the control room, so he's like, this little nerd says he wants to be the sheriff, he can't be the fucking sheriff, he's a little asshole. - And he's like, he's paying a thousand dollars a day, he can do whatever he wants. - That's right, okay, so fucking dick takes up the badge, and he says, I'm going to bring the law to this town, tries to open the door, can't open it, just fucking goof. - What a dick. Cut back to our boys, they're just chilling out in the desert, laughing it up. - Yeah, they took a horseback ride out to the mountains, beautiful, it's good, yeah. - And they noticed a rattlesnake, and John's like, check this out. - Well, yeah, they're having a bro down talk for a minute there, where he's just like, I don't even remember, again, reiterating, I don't even remember my wife's name. Once is enough, John, you are Pete, you shouldn't be talking, I don't remember my wife's name. Once you do it, you're projecting a little too much, so you're still into your wife. - He's like, you need to kill something, and there's a rattlesnake right there, and then John just starts shooting at it, he must be John Ebele, he must be his name, 'cause he's missing every fucking shot. - Not fucking weird, I just can't seem to hit this. Snake, by the way, not like slithering sideways, serpentine movements, anything. - Sitting there, and John can't hit it. - He's just pissing it off. - Sir, John gets up, he's like, I'm gonna piss the whip, this fucking snake. He goes to piss the whip. - Right, because it's like they know nothing can harm them, so they're like, who gives a fuck? - He's over confident. - Right. - And so the snake bites him on the arm. - Right, and this was a real fucking snake. I mean, I give him points, 'cause you've seen it when they don't have it, it's a rubber snake, it looks so fake, it's looking fucking real, 'cause it was, they milk the fucking snake, and they put like a leather arm thing on John James Brolin. And it bit him, and instead of bit through the fucking thing, he felt the fucking snake. - It's intense. - And then he throws it off, and then fucking Pete, who's just, like he was born for this world now, just shoots it. And then they see us like a robot snake. - Right, well they're like, is that a fucking real snake? What the fuck's going on here? - And John has been cool the whole time. This is the first time we see John turn into a bitch. - Well, he didn't think, you're not supposed to get hurt. - Exactly, he's like, this is not part of the agreement. I'm not supposed to get hurt, I'm supposed to be a fucking badass here. And suddenly, I'm crying like an asshole, because I got bit by a snake, this fucking sucks. Everything fucking sucks. What is going on? - He's like, I want to talk to management. He screams at all. - He goes Karen. - Right. - He goes full Karen. And as he's saying, I want to talk to management, we cut back down the control room. They're freaking the fuck out. 'Cause of course they would be. - Right. - Like, guy got bit. - Rich guy got bit. They don't care if you or I got bit. - Well yeah, but only rich people get there, so. - Only rich people matter. - But they also probably do background checks on everybody who enters to know how much money they have. 'Cause it's probably like a university when you graduate from a university every year after. They're like, remember, you paid us to educate you, so keep paying us. Probably something like that. We gave you that good time. Keep paying us, even though you're not here. - So, chief analyst is like, get that fucking snake. We got to see what the fuck's going on here. And he grabs, he gets the red phone. That's the important phone. And he's like, the phone's not working. - What the fuck? Does anything fucking work? - Are we at Axe, formerly known as Twitter? - Right. - Nothing works here anymore. - Sir, the AI program that phone. What do you mean it doesn't work? - He's like, I got to get the fucking board together. So they get it together and he's telling all the grievances and the guys like, look, I'll admit we overbook things, but we're making money. - Yeah, we can't do a hard stop. We can't do a hard reset. - We're kicking nobody out. 'Cause he's like, we need to shut this down for a month at least. - Somebody got hurt. We really need to fucking figure this shit out. This is an emergency. - And he's like, look, I'll meet you halfway. I'll meet you halfway. - We won't let any new people in right now, but the paying customers are staying. - This weekend, the paying customers, they're here. We're figuring this out. We're gutting this out. We're gonna figure this shit out. More babes, more biagra. Put bread, heart attack, biaggregate it. Crush it and everything. - Smear those colligular and have a good time. - Make these bitches as horny as possible. Do we have the backup? Do we have the bluey bots? There you go. That's a world for some fucking, the women's world, the bluey world. I think you just go fuck the cartoon dog, or get fucked by the cartoon dog. - Well, only white women would be in that one, so. - Well, what do we have here, Marie? White men. - Yeah, I'm just saying. - The white men can go off to fucking Westworld, the Roman world, and then the world. - So the white's go to the bluey world and fuck dogs? - And the wife can go to bluey world and do whatever she wants to do there. - Yeah, I guess the dogs would fuck them. Yeah, that's kind of gross. - I mean, they are participating in that too. They are cheating. - No, I think there's, in sex, there's a fucker and a fuckie. - Okay, okay, that's your context for it. Not that it's not contextual, you're getting fucked here. - I mean, as I guess if the woman's at top, she's technically fucking you. - Yeah. - I don't know. - We will not go down this road. We are done with that road. - Yeah, we were, the episode's long enough. - So we cut to banker. He is, he's so fucking horny. He thought he was gonna, you're gonna fuck the queen right then and there. He didn't know he had to fucking beat the black knight to do it. - Right. - He was like, I need to, phrase of the day, get my dick wet. You see the little like us. - Yeah, this was when he was leaving the queen's room. And he's just like, - He's got a boner and he can see it 'cause he's wearing a leotard. - Right, but he was just like, I don't know if I want to chase on this queen if I have to fight for her. Like that's fucking stupid. - I don't work. - That's not the immersion I was looking for. - I want to emerge something. - I want easy women of status. And so when he can't get an easy woman of status, he happens to notice the towel girl. You know, she gives out the jizz rags. - Yeah, she's like, hey there Daphne. She didn't listen to her. She had a name at least. And he's just like, - Yeah, it's interesting they named her. - Yeah. - They wanted a, yeah. - And he wants to get with her and he's like, I'll meet you later. I got a feast I got to be at. But be at my room 10 o'clock. - Yeah, I need a few of those towels in my room, 10 o'clock. - Right, make sure they're warm. - I noticed that your cleavage isn't quite busty enough. Maybe you could be a little bustier when you come over. - Yeah, figure they could do that. See if they have like strap on tips, like you can get whatever size you want. Like the robot, you can kind of customize it to your specifications. Like I like a big ass so. - Well, if this was Cideris World. - Do they have flates? I mean, or do you strap on? Like take off the tits and put on new tits? - It is like a full thing, isn't it? - Yeah. - Good. - So if this was Cideris World, we would be going down the control. - Cideris World's word in flight because he wants fakest looking tits possible. So they'd be like balloons. - That is what you're paying for in Cideris World. - Is the worst looking implants. - These are too soft. Make them harder. - This ass has a curve on it and I hate that. I want a fucking 90 degree angle ass. - So he goes to the feast and he sees the black knight mean mugging, I'm like a motherfucker. And he's just like, can he try? So like, he's like, I don't want to fight. I came here to fuck all weekend. So he's like black knight, can we work this out? - Yeah, he is doing a nod, but that is what he's saying through his nod. Like, let us be friends. Like, maybe you can watch me, fuck the queen. - And black knight just flips in the bird. Like, fuck and he goes, fuck you. - Ooh. Back in West World, our boys, they're just settling in for a nice night of cars. - And back in the whorehouse, they're just playing cards. - He, you know, they're in the whore, like you said, they're in the whorehouse, a whorehouse where they can give him a guinti. So you notice, John's got the whiskey. Pete's got his little fucking thing, eyedropper vodka, sparkling lemon water. - Probably bruised, it's just like. - Not bruised, it's not bruised. - I thought he asked for it, oh, that's right, you're right. - Well, maybe you remember my fucking recipe. - I know, I know, I don't know, but I don't know. But the interesting thing about this is he did get it bruised now because he's a harder edged man. - Everybody gets bruised because a bar fight breaks out. And our boys are still just like, their table gets smashed while they're playing cards. And they're like, let's just join in, this is fun. - Now, how do you simulate this? Are the chairs also heat guided so they don't break over the backs of human? - Yeah, and they're throwing work punches. - Yeah, exactly. - 'Cause our heroes are getting punched by robots. - Yes. - What do you do? - Well, they can, they might have like-- - They're worked punch. - They might have hulk gloves on. (laughing) - They get like, right before they hit contact, they let off, you know? - Somehow, yeah. - So it looks like a real fucking ballroom blitz because it kind of is. - Chair's breaking, table's breaking, sheriff comes in and he-- - We must have collapsible chairs or something like that. Maybe they shaved the chairs. - Yeah, chairs. - They shaved them. - They shaved the chairs. We'll have to get Dave Meltzer's opinion on that. Sheriff's even getting in on it. It's just so much fun. Violence and sex are fun. That's right. This is, see you again, this is the primal instincts that are giving it to you for a few thousand dollars a week. - It's like a fucking man circle without the drum circle. (laughing) I don't know what goes on at those man things. - So we're going back to medieval world because we're really wrapped up in this banker's story now. He's trying to get to the queen. The queen's giving him the cold shoulder and the black knight's getting him all, so he's just like, I'm just going to go fuck this. - I need to. Get my dick wet. - He needs to get his dick wet. - So Daphne's bringing the towels, like she said she would. - My lord, I have brought to you those jizz rags. You had requested it. - Give me that pussy bitch! And he grabs her and she goes, "How dare you, sir?" - You forget yourself, and he just moves in and makes out with her and she slats him again. And then he tosses up her skirt and tries to finger her and she slats him again. - She needs him in the balls, dude. And then the fucking back at the fucking central control. - So yeah, she-- - Oh my god. - Chief supervisor's watching and he's like, did she just reject him three times? Kick him in the balls? What the fuck's going on with our robots? - This can not stand. We need to fix this shit. If our guests aren't getting laid, they're not going to come. - Go get her, get her now, bring her straight to her pair, figure out what's going on. Did we put the denial chip in her consent chip? That is not a thing. That should not be a thing in Westworld. - Next morning, our boys are walking out of that fucking whorehouse. Apparently they left it open for them. Maybe they were comping everybody, they weren't shutting things down because you're so worried that shit was going wrong. - Maybe, good call. Yeah, 'cause everyone's just coming out of there. Hungovers, fuck, 'cause, I mean, you've been streaking that straight, raw ass whiskey. You can fuck up. These are not-- - Breasing their kidneys with this shit. - These are not young chickens either. And all there is is hard-tacking fucking Viagra and colligulard. So there's-- - It's not good for the digestion, I'll tell you that. - I mean, you could make like the prairie oyster or some of those like fucking weird-- - You know, of course, yeah. - Yeah, but there's no real good hangover shit here. There's barely water. We don't see anybody drink water because we know what does water do to the robots in this movie. - Short circuits? - It's absolutely fucked 'em up. We know that. - So there is zero water in Westworld. - Yeah, just whiskey and-- - Oh, the bath water, the bath water, yeah. They did that bad. So you gotta drink bath water. - So apparently, it must have had a real midget pour the water into there. - It is. - We've been in like the future, midges around the bottom of the food chain. - That's what's funny is because you saw his hands and they're not fucked up. But it's just-- - You midget, yeah. - I'm so sorry. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I had to do one more fucking tangent because you talked about midget hands. - I was just gonna work into a story and add it to it. - Yeah, because this is a movie I watched, I told you about recently called Stone Cold Dead. - Yes, I did. - And it was a serial killer movie, a police thriller, and one of our favorite actors appears in it. And his entrance, the first thing we see are these chubby little sausage fingers, like a hand and it's getting manicured. - Oh, that's good. - And it pulls back and it's fucking Paul Williams playing a pimp. - Yes. - He's wearing a pinstripe suit and he's getting his finger and fingered for nails. - The shots you showed me, he looked fantastic. - He was, he was, he was moting the fuck out. He had a small role, but he got the most out of it. I was bummed out that he wasn't a big part of it because the synopsis that said on the TV was like making it sound like he worked with the hero cop, he does not. - Oh, 'cause that's why we might do that, we might not. - I got another pitch for you, for another world. - Okay. - Willy died in my world, a world of pimps. - And hoes. - And hoes. - Are the pimps up and hoes down? - They can be wherever you want 'em to be. 'Cause of course this is a man's world. - And that would be, 'cause we were saying how exclusive these worlds are to black people, people of color, willy died in my world. - That could, that could attract a whole-- - That would be, I would like to be, I'd be, I'd be one of the good ones in a black exploitation world. - See, you could let one token white guy in, and then if it did just attract the black folks, then there we go. - Everybody be fighting over who fucks Pam Greer, though. That would be the one problem. They'd have to have multiple Pam Greerbots. Everybody wants to fuck her. - There's 400 Pam Greerbots, yeah. - Yeah, that's a good idea. - That's a good idea. - So, why didn't you use that in the TV show? - Well, that's a little too edgy. - We cut back to, there's a lot of cuts in this, near the end, 'cause we cut back to medieval world. And Banker is dressed up in his little night outfit. He's like, I guess I have to do this duel with the fucking black knight. - Oh, they're going, yeah. They're doing like a Renaissance Festival, basically. And so he's getting ready to go out to that. But he's like, I haven't even had breakfast. I got meat in the balls, I got denied. I'm not getting the Queen's push. I was gonna taste that shit, see what Robot Posey tastes like? - I have an eight-hour erection, 'cause all thigh-aggreg duct, the floor. - It's so. - So you'll bruise balls and erection. That's not a good place to be. - And Kriton decided that we needed to have a shot of Banker actor going, you know what? Finger to the chin, I need some breakfast. And so it goes down to the feasting hall. He missed the feast, so he missed breakfast. There just so happens to be a half eaten turkey leg laying out. - Well, it is, you know. We've snored by Renaissance fairs. This is what everyone ate back in those days. - So turkeys. - Giant turkey legs. - Yeah, turkeys were genetically modified and everything, they were as big as they are now, 'cause these turkey legs are fucking massive. And he picks it up again. Half eaten, he just brushes it off, you know. There's a little bit of sawdust on there for some reason. He brushes that off a little fiber, you know. - Then you hear, "There you are, you scoundrel, vomit!" That was my turkey leg. - And it's the black knight. - I challenge you, you will not cock me. - Discreants. - Pick up thy blade. - Well, maybe what we could do is think this over, you can run a trade on her first, and I'll be the second one. - And then the queen enters, and he's like, "Oh shit, "I gotta perform for her, I want this queen." - He can't be second fiddle when the queen's present, you know, he's gotta be a man. - You know, yeah. - And then we cut back to control room. All right, they're getting ready to fight. Make sure this loser wins, you know. And so what happens is the black knight's fucking up. It's like, is this Rocky? Is it like he gets, it's like a rope-a-dope, where your robot beats the shit out of you, and then you do your comeback? - Right, they're making this fight very real, because the fucking black knight is laying it on heavy. And so we're watching them in control room. And they're like, it's okay, everything is under control. We got the situation figured out. Guys got finger on the keyboard, he's typing in commands. Yup, it's left strike, right strike, left strike. So I was like, okay, they really do have this under control. - Body blow, body blow. - They've got the fucking Xbox controller out, you know, we're controlling it that way. And then all of a sudden he goes, the battery's died. This is a wireless controller. I gotta go control, I don't know if I have control this all the time. Little brother syndrome, that's what they call that. When your brother unplied to control her on you, you don't know this. - I don't. - Because-- - And sisters, yeah. - I was a little brother, and every once in a while, you gotta do that, so they think they're playing. They don't know better though. - It's like your brother's piece of shit. - No, this isn't just about my brother, this is about all. - All brothers. - Yeah, this is about just anybody playing with a kid young enough to be stupid enough to not know what's happening. So that's what's happening here. In this fight, that fucking banker is seemingly losing. He's getting pushed over, he's getting shot, he's getting attacked, it's rough. - And he gets his arm slashed. And he's like, what? That's not supposed to happen. And then he gets stabbed right through the chest. - We go back down to the control room, cut the power. - Back in Westworld, our boys are headed out. They're getting ready to, I'm assuming, get their dick wet. And then the gun slinger steps out for the third fucking time. And they're just like, oh my God, I don't need this shit right now, I got a fucking headache. - Yeah, I mean, it's like you were saying, John is telling Pete, hey, I know we're hungover, the best thing for a hangover. Fucking ribbed a hand job. Like, you get to love this, it's like speed bumps. - And John's like, Pete, let me take care of this shit. And he's like, all right, come on, let's draw. And then gun slinger goes, boom, and shoots him. And he gets up, he's like, a fucking shot. - The way he sold this shot too was great. Wrestlers keep an eye on him. - And then he just, he says, I'm shot and this falls over dead. And Pete's like, what the fuck, it starts running. And then we get that little robo walk, that fucking... - It's so good, it's so good. They turn them into Michael Myers, Jason Vorty. - I'm glad you said that because in IMDB fax, it said John Carpenter, he said, we want Michael Myers to move like your printer. - Oh, very interesting. I'm glad I saw that too. - Back in the control room. They're trying to cut things down, but the doors have been locked. They're sealed in the control room, and they have no control. Like you said, somebody unplugged it. - That's right, everything's getting all fucked up. They have relinquished too much control to the AI itself, and the AI is fucking them over. - And they're like, well, let's see what's going on in the other world. Roman world, people are being fisted in the ass, nonstop, it's brutal. - You know, people are like human hand puppets. - One of the big nerd tropes, Joe's candle there, there's so much sun. The sun is blasting off my countertop here. It's blinding me, I can't concentrate on comedy. One of the big conversations people like to do is the whole thing that Kevin Smith brought up in one of his movies, how does Superman fuck lowest lane? Does he have a Kryptonite condom? Because his dick is so fucking strong. - But they don't know. - But he would ejaculate, well, yeah, he'd fuck him up. - He'd go limp. - Yeah. - His dick would wither away like he could. - Right, right, but it's like when he ejaculates, does he have that kind of control where he doesn't just make it fucking-- - You have to pull out, he'll always pull out. - And shoot it off to the side, 'cause he would be so fucking powerful. - That's why Superman has to fuck Wonder Woman. - You wanna talk about slinging rope? He's slinging fucking F-150s. He's slinging cyber trucks. - What does this have to do with best world? - Well, we're talking about how these robots are fisting these people. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - And it's goddamn, I really wish you understood the show Big O, because that was his thing. He had the piston powered fist. That's what's happening now. People look up Big O, so you know what's happening in Roman world right now. - Yeah, it's not pretty. And they're like, well, the one good thing is they only have 12 hour battery charge, so if we can survive 12 hours, I guess we're okay. So they're like, are they getting hot in the air? Because literally it's hermetically sealed control room. There's no oxygen being pumped into this room. So the guys are like, we need to get the fuck outta here. - One guy's like, I need a fucking sandwich. Like, I'm hungry, guys. I miss breakfast too, all right? - Okay, all right. So Pete, he's managing to find a horse. He's riding off. I know you think we've gone too long. We're in the last 30 minutes. It takes five minutes to get through. Because it is-- - And this gunslinger chasing Pete. - That's it. Pete manages to find a horse. - But then we get this very, for the time, futuristic. We see POV shot from the gunslinger's point of view. It's just a pixelated picture. - It's super pixelated. Like you can't make anything out. - I took like eight hours a second or something to do, recreate this. - Really? - In '73, yeah. This is one of the first computer-generated images ever in like a movie. - So that was lost on me. I would have had to actually research that to know that this was hard for them to do. - That's why I'm here. I did the research. - That's very interesting. So one of the other things that these robots have, as we know with the guns, they sense heat. - Infrared vision. - Infrared vision. - Predator vision. - Predator vision. - I was just gonna say-- - I never understood that. So your footsteps leave heat. I mean, your shoes are not hot. - Dude, and the same thing with horseshoes. Why is he seeing horseshoes? - No. - Like there would be a probably a heat variant just from friction, but no, it's scorching red. It is bright red amongst blue. - Like if it was just like he could to see footprints like easier-- - That's it. That's all you had to do. - Like what I kind of alluded to that, I think, because Pete starts riding his horse through a creek. So you couldn't see the footprints. - You're right, you're right, yeah. - They did try to do something about that. All right, so we get Pete heading off ahead. There's one shot where he's like coming down a mountain side. - He's like on a ridge, and then gunslinger shoots his hat off. - Shoots his hat off, so Pete scurries off. He gets a little further ahead and there's like this small passage where there's mountains piling up on either side, so Pete tries to hide and get the edge, but he's got that predator vision. So of course, gunslinger still has the edge on him, starts just doing the like distance, dance thing. He's just teasing him. - He's toying with them. - He's toying with them. - Back to the control room, guys are like sweating profusely. They're doing the thing where they're losing in their tie. You know they're in pain. - Right, I kill for a fucking huggy right now. That one guy's still worried about that much. - Pete happens on a crew member who's got a little golf cart. He's fixing a flat tire and he's like, these fucking things are trying to kill me. - Show me your fucking hand. Don't get any closer. Show me your god dick. No ringlets. Fuck, I thought I was gonna get a hand job before I die, man. - So he's just like, I don't know what to tell you, buddy. I'm the guy who just cleans up the calm out of the fucking sex box. - If you're saying the gunslinger's after you, you're fucked. - I don't know, maybe throw acid in his eyes. That could work. I don't know, I'm this spit ball in here. And he's like, and we forgot to mention that they did throw a little tidbit out there. They augment, when they were, there's a scene where they're working on the gunslinger. So we see like, the face get taken off. And they augmented his hearing because they throw that in there. Like augment the hearing a little bit. And good thing, no one's gonna throw acid in these eyes because that's their weakness. - Right, good call. - So the guy's like, I don't know what to tell you, buddy. That's all I can tell you. I'm getting the fuck out of here. So Pete's like, fuck, he just takes off 'cause the gunslinger starts shooting. - Pete says he's confident he's got a way to get rid of the gunslinger. And he leaves the crew member. And shortly after gunslinger walks up, kills the crew's men. - So Pete manages to make his way to Roman world. He's slipping, sliding, and all that fucking colligular. - Dude, there's so much colligular. - The pool was just a sheet of colligular. - And there's just blown-out bottles everywhere. Everyone's dead. - Prolapse ain't as in ever. It's disgusting. - We even see, I don't know if you picked this up, but the horny wife in the beginning, she was in Roman world. - Yes, she was. - She literally was. - That's right. - And then he finds a manhole. He's like, fuck, I guess I'll go down there. - Oh, he found a manhole, did he? - Oh, Pete did all right. - An uncovered man on your face? - This one was blown out and he could fit in it. Because he goes down that manhole and he's into the control room. - He didn't even have to lube himself up, people. - Everybody's dead in the control room, 'cause they're still locked in. So he's like, fuck, I can't, 'cause you can see through a window in the door. - Yeah, yeah, there's a window in the door. - So he goes to the area where they repair the bots. - We see that slinger. Gun slinger's still a high on his trail following- - He's got, now he got, he's dead. He's like cool, reflective contacts they put on Yule Brinter. So you can see his eyes look weird. - Yes, it's very cool. I loved it. - And he's continuing to stalk him as our- - Following those hot footprints. - Our horror movie would do. And Pete, he finds the repair room that we mentioned earlier. - Thank God, there's endless fats of acid in this repair room. - Why are you? - And it's just like in a beaker. It's not even like safely put anywhere. - Yeah, they're just out in the open. - And they're all different kinds of acid. - They're trying to make it look like, oh yeah, the cruise people were working. You know, that's why all this shit's out. But there's no cruise people dead everywhere, you know? There's nothing happening here. These robots are completely- - Why would they be using acid to work? - Right, right. Like maybe if, nevermind. We can't pontificate. - Maybe where the movie kind of falls apart. They'll last act. - I've been saying this the whole time. The third act of this movie is the pot where you're just like, yeah, we just- - Maybe the book's better. - I don't know. - Maybe it is. Like I am kind of interested in reading the book. Like Mike Carton did a good job of being like, the book will be different. I'm kind of interested, but this is a satisfying fucking movie. - Cut back to the slinger. He walks into the control room. Where the fuck is Pete? The slinger's just walking down the hallway, passes by a robot that kind of looks like our man Pete. 'Cause it is. He's playing possum. - Stands over him, leans his face in real close to the slinger does. Boom! Face pull of acid. - All right. - Never did this in pro wrestling. - No, not yet. - Not yet. - I heard in Japan it happened. - I hear jungle boys gonna do it. - Criving me a river. And so the scun slingers are my face. And he's fucking with his face. He goes to a faucet. He knows the procedures. When you have acid, you wash your face, flesh your face. - That's right. - Pete starts running away. Slinger follows. - So now we're heading into medieval world to follow Pete into there. And he finds our banker dead. - Still got the sword and his gut. - That's right. - And we see the black knight and the queen sitting on their throne. It's their battery to run out. - Yup, 12 hours had passed. But how is gun slinger still alive? So it's like, oh no, no, no, it's that. That's your maximum. So they could have been running on a battery that, you know, they had been charged yet. - Oh, okay. - Yeah. So they just sit frozen on their throne and Pete's trying to be like, hey, I'm fucking cool. Don't worry about me. And then he realizes they're not gonna move. - Slinger enters the room. - They didn't do really, I mean, it's the, you know, prosthetics weren't good at that time 'cause he, he had thrown right in his face. - Yeah. - And just the sides of his face were a little melty. - It wasn't the best. - We get the Jonah hex fucking hole in his fucking cheek kind of thing. And he remembers he got predator vision. So he's seeing the body temperature of Pete. And then Pete notices that they're, well, he doesn't notice, he's scared. He moves toward a torch. - Yup, 'cause it's medieval world. - Right. - So it's just torches everywhere. And he notices like, then the fucking slinger's like looking around for him again. And he's like, oh shit. - And Joel Brenner does a great job of face acting here because his look is just like horror. Like, where did this fucker go? What is happening here? The AI cannot register what's happening here. - And then Pete goes, like, he's like, can't believe it. And then all of a sudden he perks up again. And he's like, oh shit, he can still hear me though. But he can't see me. - Right. So, slinger comes at him hard and Pete grabs a torch and touches, and apparently, apparently a colligular is incredibly flammable. - Oh yes. - Unlike-- - You're not fucking your open flame is all I'm saying. - Unlike, Peck Jelly, which is not flammable. - Oh, flame retardant. You can put somebody out with Peck Jelly. - That's right. The greatest lubricant ever made. We improved. - Well, ultimately, the purpose is to shine your packs up. But it's like WD-40. It has other uses. - Yes. - Okay. - It is actually used in motor repair. - Yes. - Yeah. - And robot repair. - And robot repair. - Well, there's motor repair. - So, he's upset ablaze. And he just collapses. So, Pete's like, I guess it's all done, you know? So, he walks off, he stumbles into a dungeon. So, he's a woman. Help me. He assumes it's a real woman. He didn't check the fucking Riblets. - Right. He definitely did not check the Riblets. When have we been learning this whole movie? - Everybody, when you meet a stranger, you think it's okay. Check the Riblets. And by that, I don't mean the ribs, you fucking idiot. I mean, they're hands. - There's two, you can figure out if someone's a robot by their hands and transsexual. Check their hands. 'Cause men have big hands, Griff. - Okay. - I'm just saying, if you're like, say the man or a woman, or that one person born a man or a woman. Check their hands. - Okay. - Don't go. You don't know what I'm talking about, it's true. - Okay. - All right. - This is why he's the villain of the show. Throw us down to the boss. - No. All right. So, we got this damsel in distress. What does Pete think he is? He came here to cosplay a hero, Murray. - So, he's got a giver or drink of water. - He's thinking he's involved in the most immersive story that Westworld has ever offered. Not even Westworld. Dorsol. - Be evil. - What's medieval? - Doral. - Medieval. - But Murray, he's crossing worlds. He's not just in Westworld or medieval world. His story has crossed all the worlds in Doral. - Why do you keep saying that? It's medieval world. - I understand that. What is the overarching world? Where did we first arrive, Doral? - Oh, no, it's Delos. Delos, that's because his journey is not just in one. He started in Westworld. Now he's in fucking medieval world. - So, he has charged him extra 'cause he went into three different worlds? - Afterwards, they probably would. Yeah, if this wasn't just crawling-- - Elon would. - Yeah, Elon definitely would. - So, he rescues this woman and he sits her down. I was like, "I'll get you some water." No, I don't want water. No water. - No, I'll go. - And he just throws it in her face and she just sort of circuits. So, I guess he could never take a shower with a robot ever or something they didn't figure out. - Yep. - So, what are they cleaning it with, too? There's not, there's like-- - Click alert. - Click alert. - It is a non-water-based living. - And then this was, I thought this was not necessary. We get the jump scare where Pete goes to leave and then the charred remains of gunslinger. And he just falls off the edge of a staircase. - We see. - His face was removed, he falls off. - Look down on the gaze, yeah. Pete just stares off and he hears that advertisement one last time. - Well, in his head, yeah, he's like hearing it. And then he's just like, you know, he's just like, "Trogsy, show them what you gonna do?" - Boy, do we have the vacation for you? Are you a recently divorced man sleeping in a cyber truck? We've got a vacation for you. - And he just smirks like, ridiculous, ridiculous. There you have it people, Westworld, Westworld robots. We've done ghosts. How can it get any weirder grip? What have I told you next week we do cannibals? - That's pretty weird. - Really fucking weird. And this is a weird movie because it starts out pre-generic Rustern and then it gets, you're like, "Did I just see a guy get ripped in half?" Yes, you do people. You complain about saying, "No, we didn't even get feedback. "I don't know if you're complaining or not." But you seem to enjoy when we do more modern movies. So this movie I think came out about eight or nine years ago. - Okay. - It's got one of our favorites, Grapp. Kurt Russell. - Oh, fuck yeah. - With an amazing beard in this movie. - Kurt Russell, God damn it, man. You know, all those Keanu love? Kurt Russell's been married to Goldie Hahn for like 50 years. - I don't think they even married this been together. - Together? - For like 40 years. - Dude just like, he's cool as shit. - He's a Republican though. - Oh yes. - Yeah, I think that's why. - That's a plumber. - But that's the thing people. I think like Obama said at the Democratic National Convention, you can be friends with somebody who's a Republican. I don't know full on MAGA, I don't know about that. But as long as you don't talk about politics, you can make it work. You don't have to be cats and dogs people. - Yeah. - Bring it together. Next week's we're going to talk about Kurt Russell, the real snake, not a fake pliskin. He's a snake pliskin. And he's taking on cannibals in the movie, bone tomahawk. So tune in next week for that. And as always, keep it warm. [BLANK_AUDIO]
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