LIVIN OUR CRAZY LIFE
A TALK ON DISAPPOINTMENT
Hey guys welcome back to another week of living our crazy life podcast. I'm Olivia. I'm Megan and you might notice that last week we spoke about having brand new mics and a brand new setup. We're a new camera. We do. We do. They are here. Unfortunately we have had two mishaps with Amazon where we tried to order the right cords to fit with this and both times we got the wrong cord that could you not. I've been waiting. We've been waiting all day. I've been waiting at my house outside for this specific cord to come to plug into both microphones okay. After we didn't get to film yesterday only for me to walk up to the front door open it and see that it's the 6.5 instead of the 3.5 for the second time now. So we have the exact same setup as before. Apologies for that. And on that topic we are going to have a little chitchat about disappointment okay. We are going to talk about disappointment. So this is a very small case of disappointment but actually it feels like a very large case. No this is a big disappointment. This is not a small disappointment. This is I don't think anybody understands how excited we have been for new microphones that we find. We've had these for like two weeks now. Yeah. Yeah. This is actually the case of big disappointment for me and honestly like I'm not over this disappointment yet. I'm not over this either but moving on disappointment okay. That's something that everyone deals with a lot in life every day every day. Disappointed all the time by people, situations, just disappointed with yourself. I feel like dealing with disappointment can be very hard and you know friends disappoint you, work disappoint you, life disappoints you and it just feels like a cycle of disappointment all the time. And I think everyone has been there in life and everybody goes through that. And to really navigate through that well we're going to discuss that today. In my opinion there's two sides to disappointment and that is you know the getting disappointed and the feelings that come after that, how you deal with that and then there's the side of getting disappointed and what you choose to do about that. So starting with the getting disappointed exactly as we were saying it comes from a lot of different sources and it sucks. It really sucks especially in people when you had certain expectations of people or you thought certain things were certain ways and people let you down disappoint you. They don't show up as you thought they were or they don't care as much as you thought they did. They're basically just not as gentle with you as you would like and that's very disappointing. That sucks, that really sucks when you thought things were a certain way and they're not. As you know for people I also think being disappointed in situations that didn't work out like you wanted. Maybe you went to a job interview and you thought it went really well you didn't get the job or you presented yourself in certain ways in certain situations and again it didn't work out. That sucks too. Being disappointed in yourself is a whole other beast in my opinion just because I think letting yourself down and being disappointed in yourself is one of the worst things in the world because every day you have to return back to yourself and you have to face that and that sucks if you're not content with where you are or what that disappointment is based off of. I think what you choose to do with that disappointment that's what matters because you can get disappointed and disappointed but when you stop putting yourself in situations or trying new things because you're afraid of getting disappointed that's when you've lost the plot because as we've said in previous episodes never make less of yourself or pull yourself away because you're disappointed or you're afraid of the end result in certain situations. I think that with disappointment for a lot of people probably feel this way is that you know it gets tiring it's like exhausting to like I'm talking like people wise like to be disappointed by somebody that you had high expectations for or you thought it was going to be different or you saw a side and you know then they end up disappointing you that that's a very shitty feeling and I know everyone knows what that feeling is like and the biggest thing though with disappointment is exactly like you you can't let it be the reason that you don't continue you know like you have to continue no matter what and how to get there is hard because the I struggle with this all the time and like you know you get disappointed and then you do you do continue and you do move on and then you know you get yourself into a new situation and you know whether that's whatever a job friend family whatever and then you're disappointed again and it happens again and then you go through it the motions again and you get over it and it happens again and I think that you just have to learn to live with it because disappointment is never not going to be there it's always going to be there in everything you do in life and I think that's one of the hardest things actually is navigating yourself through dealing with that and I think how I deal with disappointment is well sometimes I I don't know sometimes it's definitely harder than others I don't know like certain disappointments I've just accepted but you know when I let the guys for me you know putting myself out there and that type of disappointment I'm not going to lie like the more I get disappointed the more I actually just don't want to put myself out there ever because I feel like as a you know as a woman and you probably can relate like being disappointed by a guy makes you not want to go for another guy no point again right like I feel like every woman that watches this or even if you're a guy and you're you know for a woman and you're disappointed by a woman it's the same thing like that's why I feel like people are the way they are after getting disappointed you know but but being disappointed by not even a partner but just you know either a man or woman feels like getting stabbed in the chest and then kicked in your stomach punched in the head like everything just ripped apart and the reason why is because disappointment is such a complicated emotion because sometimes you don't even have a logical reason to be disappointed say for example something comes up and someone cancels plans okay but you were looking forward to these plans life happens shit happens you can't actually be upset at them for that right but sometimes you just take it to heart and you're disappointed because you thought you know you were going to go have a good night all of these things and this is a very small scale example but it feels at the time it feels so intense because exactly being disappointed by someone that you like or you have involvement with or whatever someone that you care about feels like the shittiest thing in the world because it's not even that I wouldn't do it to you because I wouldn't but that's not the principle here the principle is like just that's why it's like why and like there's nothing you can do about it and exactly sometimes you don't even have a reason to feel that way but disappointment everyone gets disappointed by different things and some people have different tolerances right like someone can get disappointed off of nothing and some people don't get disappointed but then you do something really really bad and then you know they're like I just have to cut ties now you know it's it's different and you don't know what people's tolerances are so that's important to communicate with people and to communicate when you are disappointed if this is a relationship you want to you know have in the future then you have to work on communicating your needs and what you want from that person because you can't read minds that's something I learned I always expected people to kind of understand what I'm thinking even though I don't say it and that's wrong of me to have assumed that because you need to speak up you need to communicate your needs no one can provide for you especially everyone loves differently everyone wants to be loved differently and not even love but everyone functions differently in the world so you know we have to communicate how are you supposed to know how somebody's feeling right like I can't read your mind so if you're disappointed or I'm not doing something you don't like then you just you need to speak up and communicate right like they can't read your mind I don't know how you're feeling realistically like you know you think you think that they would know because you're showing a certain way how you're feeling but they don't and so that's on you so speak up and help if I think it's actually very important to tell people how you feel I think communication is very important with everything and it can go a long way worth telling people how you feel anyways um I agree I agree I think that going back to the why I think that for me when I'm disappointed I always ask myself why just why like why is it happening you know like that's that's my best way to explain the emotion of disappointment for me is like why you know when this microphone situation happened I was like why because it's frustrating like why does this have to happen like so much stuff already happens in life like why could this have just not gone my way you know but you just have to change your your mindset because that's not really the right way to look at it but for this microphone situation like it is completely unacceptable on Amazon to be honest but yes I feel like for disappointment I feel like you have to just go let yourself go through the motions of the disappointment it just it depends on the scale right because there's like very minimal small disappointments I can go through and then there's like you know big ones that like take a toll on you but I feel like for any type of thing situation about disappointment it's like feel what you're feeling and then when you look back at it it's either going to have taught you something or it's just going to be nothing and it's not going to matter you know and I feel like as time goes by the smaller it gets and you know you just you you get over it eventually and that's just kind of how I look at it that's just how I really look at life as well with situations and different things that happen an important part of disappointment is also knowing where your limit is so if someone continues to disappoint you and it's not necessarily fully about them or fully about you but at a certain point you have to know when enough is enough and it doesn't again necessarily need to be a real thing but if you are feeling constantly disappointed by somebody and it's just dragging on you and it's causing you so much stress sometimes it's best to just call it quits and that's you know communicate and I think all that's important but for certain situations I don't think you need to communicate and I think that disappointment after disappointment after disappointment is sometimes just time to take a step back look at the relationship look at you know are we really benefiting from this why are we even in this cycle what are we trying to get out of this and then act accordingly yeah don't stay where disappointment follows you know you don't need to stay somewhere if someone's someone's constantly disappointing you if your job is constantly disappointing you there's thousands of other jobs you can have there's different people out there to meet you know different things and I just feel like you don't need to stay in that because what a waste of time yeah wait a waste of time in my opinion if someone says that they were more disappointed in me that hurts me more than like oh I'm upset with you or I'm mad at you when someone says like I'm disappointed in you it's like wow like what did I really what did I do like how were my actions like make you disappointed because I've been disappointed it's like it's not even like I'm like upset because I fall disappointed but like I I'm first disappointing you and that's something that like when I'm disappointed in you it's just like why like wow like why did you do that you know like it's it's I feel like that's more of a hurt than anything to be disappointed it's not like I'm mad at you it's like that's just the way you moved and it's just like I'm disappointed yeah I feel like disappointment is a speak to your character you know to be upset at someone is is such a strong emotion but disappointment is hurt beyond words it's like I don't even know why that happened like I have to actually take a step back because whoa you disappointed me like you actually hurt me I expected more of you I thought more of you that's like the worst thing in the world when you think somebody is a certain way and they just let you down by not being that and again you can't assume people are certain ways because people behave on their own and it's not your place to assign certain emotions and behaviors to people but when someone just lets you down in that way though in a way in a way that's like I'm disappointed in you no like when your parents when you were growing up and your parents would you know you went and did something bad and they're instead of like yelling at you or getting upset at you at the kitchen table they're like I didn't expect that of you I'm disappointed you feel like a shame you feel a shame that's your shot down you're out of business for like three days and you're sent to your room because and if someone is telling you that they're disappointed in your actions or the way that you treated them to me it's time to take a little bit of a look at yourself and see like what did I do like how can I be better not even for them but for yourself because obviously if you know you disappointed somebody that's not a great feeling and you should really try to work on wherever that disappointment came and we speak to them and be like like how did I disappoint you you know and what can I do for you better exactly disappointment is inevitable and it's just gonna come with life it's gonna come with family it's gonna come with friends it's gonna come with love work and but family is a different type of disappointment because you're kind of like stuck with them you know they're around you and sometimes you don't have the choice to make changes or to cut people out based off your situation but yeah disappointed by your family or disappointing your family that hits pretty deep and I'm not gonna say I'm perfect I disappoint people more than I probably even know and you know I would like to be communicated when I disappoint somebody it's very important to tell somebody when they disappoint you because somebody communicated to me last week that I had let them down and that was a really shitty feeling and it made me want to change what I was doing going forwards right so it's very important to let somebody know because sometimes it's things that you don't even know that you're doing or something that doesn't affect you or it doesn't affect you know the people who you're usually around but when someone communicates it to you that makes you more aware of other people's limits and tolerances and what other people accept it's important to not only take yourself as truth but to take other people's truth and consider it at least like you owe that at the very least if you've disappointed somebody at the very least you can take the time to consider what you did to make them feel that way because you might not have thought anything of it because that's how you usually are but when you disappoint somebody it's your responsibility to think why I think at least to be honest disappointment like I said is inevitable it's in life with you it's just your friend it comes with you this past month I've been disappointed every single day so I don't even know but that's also like on me a little bit you know it's like it's my responsibility to get rid of some disappointments and I've been doing that and get rid of some expectations because when you have expectations you get disappointed that's why it's best in life to just not have certain standards for people I mean to a certain extent or to have certain expectations or to put you know things onto people because you when you expect then you can only be let down you know that sucks to be disappointed or let down so to protect yourself from being let down or disappointed in people is not to put those expectations onto them it's not their responsibility it's not their responsibility to care for you specifically or to act in a way according to you you know that's not their responsibility honestly wherever you're feeling disappointment from if that's let's just speak about relationships for example if you're feeling a disappointment from somebody what they're not giving to you or the way they're acting try to find that within yourself because the thing is people are going to disappoint you no matter what but you need to look at why are they disappointing me why is this affecting me so much is there something that I can change in my day-to-day life where I'm not going to feel disappointed every single time this happens you know I feel like that's important because sometimes people are disappointing you but it's not even like that's like something to do with yourself you know and it's like if you really you should be able to like I'm not saying not feel something when something disappoints you but you shouldn't be getting disappointed like this and letting that affect you so much it's like what is going on in my life that I'm feeling disappointment from that person or from this place or from anything that's going on and I think that's something that I've had to learn how to kind of navigate through and you know the more I was getting disappointed the more upset I was in life and like that's not a way to live life for me and it's not how I want to live life it puts you into kind of like a not a good place you know you don't want to be there in that in that way of living you don't want to feel that because that feeling just is like contains your body with hurt and anger because you're mad at the world for you know you're like why is this happening to me it's not fair like you know shitty things that are keep happening to me and it's like you know I get that and you know but life is not fair you know and so for me like I've really had to take some perspective and like look at what I can change in my life and for me it was that I let people into my life that didn't deserve to be there and that's only my fault so I just had to realize that you know I need to focus on a few things before I can let people into my life again over the past week or two we have spoken about being disappointed in ourselves for even putting ourselves in the position of letting people back into our lives and going on a trip with this person having to do with our last episode and it's just that we should have known based off of you know specific interactions previously or just their behavior and how we felt about it there was a lot of issues and we continued to make excuses and opportunities going for a relationship in the future and on the aftermath of that trip I'm very disappointed that we went and that we let it get to that point and we have spoken about that over the past couple weeks because when you know in your heart and in your soul that certain things aren't meant to be and you you push them and you make excuses for those things to work out and then shit happens and then you're disappointed in yourself that you let it get to that point that's completely on you to make that change to make that switch you need to be you need to have enough self-awareness that you look at yourself and you go wow I made a mistake I was stupid let that be but I'm not doing it going forward and that's again boundaries you have with people but disappointment should say so much about yourself that you need to look at why you're disappointed where it comes from and what you're going to do about it in the future you know you need to see all sources of this because it's a very very loaded complicated emotion and one that causes so much internal turmoil and it can cause so much shame and it can cause so much hurt and anger and these emotions and it's like you just have to know how to regulate your own emotions and you have to know how to not let it be and all be all disappointment other people disappointment yourself disappointment in the world and situations you know it's something you have to go through but it doesn't get you anywhere really so you have to look at that and make a change definitely I think this past like two weeks I've been very self-aware like this year this whole year I've been very self-aware with everything I am disappointed in myself because it it I this is not something that I usually like allow in my life and so when this situation happened yes I was extremely disappointed in myself because that's just something that I don't allow in my life and and we didn't I allowed it in my life for reasons that I'm very disappointed I am very disappointed in myself but I can only learn from this situation and I have I I have definitely learned from this situation I've definitely evaluated it and I have realized a lot and I think that's also important give yourself a little grace sometimes obviously not too much because look if you're disappointing people left and right figure that out and work on that but I mean like for certain things be kind of with yourself because if you act out of anger or hurt it you're gonna damage yourself you know it's not gonna go well it's not the right way to go about it you need to learn from it and improve and put in the work and then show actions to how you're better so I think with this discipline about the microphone let's do a little bit of some self-awareness right now I think that what I'm going to do with this situation is return this to Amazon reorder it and accept that I had to go with defeat and film like this without my new microphone that I got two weeks ago and you know maybe breathe a little bit and then maybe cook some pasta and just like accept it for what it is I am on a very similar page I also have a second chord to return to Amazon I am going to cook some pasta and I've already dealt I've already dealt with the emotions of this because the amount of anger listen we went to Best Buy we went to tech stores we went every single place that we possibly could have gone to look for cables and cords and when I tell you that we really thought we had it this time and it's just getting really tried for you guys we really tried for you it's coming though next week it is coming and for sure coming next week so closing out the episode thank you guys so much for watching I hope we didn't disappoint you without the new setup and microphones obviously we probably did but you know it's what you want to do with the disappointment anyways we hope you enjoyed this episode we'll do some self-awareness tracking you know if you're disappointed you know go outside and just take yourself with the wall honestly sometimes you but also sometimes you just have to sometimes with this appointment you just have to face it because sometimes it is just shitty and you just have to stare at the wall for five hours anyways um thanks for watching thanks for watching we might hopefully next week and if we are back we will with not new mics next week shut this down this podcast is getting shut down okay thanks for watching bye guys see you next
This week we talk about disappointment in relationships, life & in yourself.
Thanks for listening