Fantasy Pants: A DnD Adventure Podcast
Radiant Citadel Ep 95: Sa.. Sahu.. Sahuaaaagin?
Thank you pants people, just wanted to take a brief moment before the episode to say thanks for listening and thanks for being our friends. Enjoy! [Music] [Music] Stored to the omen here. Now, there must be a lot of buzz around the recent event of Roland Jule, where Jules Rose had publicly stated that tythos had never been destroyed. Footage for a brief return, Zebulon seemed to corroborate this argument. Since then, Bartos has been very clear that his findings were not at fault and that some other explanation must have led Zebulon to an incorrect assumption. After all, the father Saffar aside, many witnesses saw the storm of the city growing in power and nearly rate and tear the very towers of Saruul apart in its fury. Still, the fire's been lit in the souls, the public, and many theories have come forth around the truth behind the tythos tragedy, though with the hopes that these theories bring, they would also have deep-seeded fear, for if tythos had indeed survived the storm, so did the storm-eye who brought its fall. Ever since nearly from mention interview, sides have always knew she can't do it when women cross all our worlds. I should say that none of these have been proven true, and many have been proven false or a result of our panics public. In the way of reason, I'd need to mention the atos, as well as the speakers of the ancestors have long changed their opinion on the matter. Most knew she can't do as gone, and he ain't ever coming back. But I've got his letter. That was before, that was before. All that. Yeah, I mean, he's gone. He's gone. Got that letter? He's nothing. But why would the narrator bring up a letter if he's gone? Because the narrator isn't a shit. It's early today. I was all over there. I was listening to a YouTube I really like, and they were plugging in the video their tabletop podcast. I had a thought like, "Aw, cool, yeah, but there's no way I can listen to another tabletop podcast." And then that just broke my heart. And I'm really sad because suddenly it hit me, I was like, "Oh, no. Oh, no. I live and breathe this." And even I'm like, "Oh, there's too many." All day, every day. There's been too many for too long. Oh, it hurts. It hurts to admit, like, you know, it's just, it's, it's, uh, but hey. But you know what? We're doing it. You know what the special part is about fantasy pants? What's that? It's like Meg from The Hungry Familiar. And Meg wanted to ask us a question, but she didn't get it. She didn't get it in time for unzipped. Oh, she has to wait till the next one. Sorry, Meg. No. Some friend you are. Nope. Not having a return. No. It's a mini-zip. It's a mini-zip. I like, all right, half down, gentlemen. I have a zipper this time. I'm not wearing pajama pants. Okay. You did it. Meg wants to know what's the best way to make eggs and bonus. Can you crack an egg one-handed? Ooh. Ooh. Cracking egg one-handed. All right. Let me just step out here real quick. Uh-huh. Yeah. I can crack an egg one hand with both hands. I can go through a case. Both hands tied behind your back. Damn. Yeah, that too. Yeah. I can, I, I've done this for a long time. Eggs are my specialty. They were. I'm a little rusty now because I don't do a breakfast these days, but I used to be breakfast prep cook all the time. Um, that was kind of my jam. I've been cracking eggs with two hands since I was a wee lad of nine. Damn. Yeah, baby. Um, as far as the best way to make them. Now I like to make omelets because they're fun to make. But as far as eating them, I'm an over-easy guy. Okay. You know, over-easy. Because you pay yolk. Yeah. Okay. So how do you make it? Make it over-easy. How do you make it? What do you mean? How do you make it? You fry it. You just fry it. You flip it and boom. Okay. It's an over-easy. A little butter in there. Are you an oil guy? I like butter. I like butter on eggs. Oil. Yep. I like to, I like to, you know what? I'm a crazy man. I flip my eggs in the pan like an almondy over-easy's. And they have a break. Yeah. Cause you're a pro. It's like I'm a genius. Cause you're a pro. Yeah, baby. All right. All right. Give me your lame answer. I'm a few steps down from, from David. Um. In all things. In, in egg cooking things at least. Sure. I can crack an egg with one hand, but I go so slow and I get so many egg shells in there that it's just not really worth it for me to do it that way. Uh, I don't have that much practice. Um, the way I like to cook eggs is I like to do, uh, sort of like a frittata, like a bake sort of thing. I do this most weeks for breakfast. I'll crack like six eggs, put it in a square, sort of like a pie plate, you know, put some veggies in there, some bacon or sausage in there and bake that bad boy for 25 minutes. Cut it into four squares and then I've got breakfast four out of five days for the week. So I just got a scavenge for one. Nice. That's my way. All right. Not bad. All right. We got jammy. Uh, use butter and crack it into the pan. One handed, two handed. Two handed. Okay. All right. Two handed. I got time to practice that shit. Uh, and then I put a lid on it because that helps it. Mm hmm. Oh, you're a sunny man. Yeah, but with like a little layer over it. A pink sunny. It's a little foggy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. Sunny with the side of mist. It's like sunny, but without the, without the boogers. That's how they make, that's how they make eggs in Silent Hill. What? Huh? Everything's a little. Oh, I get it. That fucking shit, dude. Fuck. All right. That's it. We're going to end off with that. That's our open. Hey, man. Silent Hill is good stuff. Those games were terrifying. Everybody, so when I was a kid, everybody was playing Resident Evil. And me and my brother were sitting there playing Silent Hill. I think Silent Hill was scary. They're Resident Evil. I am a coward, and I don't play horror games. I played Metroid Prime in the GameCube, and I like walked away. I was too scary. I had to come back when I was like five years older. Yeah, I played Mario and Donkey Kong until PS3. Too scary. Too scary. Can't do that. Yeah, that is an angry donkey. Oh, Steve was on fire tonight. Much like your eggs, you hack. Oh, shit. Okay. Guys, we are in the midst of a complicated situation. Let me get some fancy plus going here. Give me that sound. Loved it last step. I'm going to love it this step. My songs picked out for the next two episodes. Oh, yeah. We got here. Yeah, baby. Yeah. I'll do it. That's a mood right there. Allow me to re-contextualize and explain our situation because in the chaos, you've got it a little more intel you've learned as we're pushing forward in time. Earlier this evening, while the Golden Bay tourney of the tide pool arena was at hand. I think it's just a huwa again, actually. And I hate that. So I think so. The D&D Beyond little voice guy said, "Sohwa again." And I was like, "No, you're wrong. You're official, but you're wrong." How are we going to say it? It's a huwa again. I like that. I like that. It's a huwa again. Anyway, it's a huwa again. Fish. Fish people. Sharkos. What was I? Well, the tourney was at hand. Sohwa again forces suddenly attacked the eighth pool, deep in the total's territory. They moved, it seems, through the forests and, like, thick marsh, avoiding river patrols. And assaulted the east-nosed village of the eighth pool and attempted to kidnap as many sacrifices as they could. You know, that's their whole goal. They attacked with turtles so they can take turtles back. They want to impale them on the teeth of their god, the maw of Garniacs. This dead giant sort of mouth that lingers at the very bottom of their territory in the deep sea. They want to drive turtles onto the teeth and let them bleed out into the maw because they believe they feed their god enough. This thing will come back to life and leave them to triumph over all of Noari. So that was their goal when they attacked the eighth pool. However, the shell guard was quick to react to this. Not caught as off-guard as the zoggin expected. Perhaps, uh, Blanche, you had already kind of set some extra patrols out there thinking this might happen. They are crafty, they might have, they knew about the tourney. They might have gone, used this opportunity to attack the sort of back ranks. And so, uh, Master of Fence, Galt Shavag rallied the nearby shell guard and broke the zoggin-- Sahoggin assault, driving away into smaller squads into the-- into the forests and marshes around. One sahoggin, a champion in their ranks, managed to escape. However, taking his small squad in a group of five captives and piercing through the defenses that held the Sendine River. This means that this champion escaped the turtles, but is now forced to get a longer path back to the sea. But he has captives, and he is on his way to their territory. Meanwhile, Galt Shavag traveled down the pools to the Golden Bay, where he delivered the news of the attack and requested reinforcements. The sahoggin have not entered a full retreat and continued to skirmish with the shell guard amidst the back rim of the pools. Master Shavag worried that without backup, the sahoggin could themselves rally and managed to take even more lives. Take more captives, more than breaking through their lines and escaping. In a moment of disagreement with Blanche, Jean ordered Shavag to the larger battle to leave the shell guard reinforcements into the best possible positions. He then offered up our party, Blanche, Chester Jules, and John himself as a potential strike force to catch up with the champion and free the captives. There was some contention following this between our blade singer and her pupil. We're going to push a little farther in time. Those forces off in the Golden Bay, whatever units could be spared, have left leaving a shell of what military force used to be here until Harlan Berncedo and the Salonverse arrived to bolster their ranks against any potential sahoggin attacks here as well. But their reinforcements go and Galt Shavag has led them. They are pushing out now, and perhaps you can even look out to the bay and you see a number of mantas filing away. They swiftly moving around the coast, around the bay, towards the rivers that lead up the pools. I have a map of this too. We'll go over that a little later. Where we're going to open this is upon the stables that stand at the edge of the bay. Perhaps I'm like one sort of wing of the sort of mouth where it opens into the sea. We see this long, almost barn-like building, stone belt that lines along the coast. A number of gates kind of opening out into the water from there, and this is where the mantas of the royal family and their guard are kept. Primo, stable, manta stable. I'm going to say that here we see Jules, Jean, and Chester are waiting just outside on a dock nearby as Blanche Trudeau is overseeing the saddling and quick maintenance checking of the mantas there to go on this journey. Now I will ask of this. How many do you intend to take? Blanche and Jean are trained in this. They can, they can write these things. They know how to handle them. Are you going to take two and take two passengers on each one, or do you want to take four, potentially have, you know, these are war, warbread mantas. They know to follow the ones that are like the designated charge leaders. I think it would be possible to take two, take four mites total, give Jules and Chester their own. They won't really be able to control them very well, but they'll be able to just like follow along. Okay. I mean that makes the most sense, right? Probably. Take four, probably. If you're separated, that's where I can get a little risky. I'll have animal handling checks, or these things could go a lot of control. If Jules or Chester's Manta are separated from either Blanche or Jean's Manta, you mean, right? Yes, yeah. So if we stay in that two and two formation, at least, I mean hopefully we won't get separated, but judging by that comment, maybe it'll happen. This risk is always a risk. Yeah, I think that's probably the best go. Okay. Blanche is saddling four mantas. Take care of matters inside very quickly, but in this brief moment, the party is split up. Jules, you have noted that ever since the meeting and all the way down, you know, on this trek down here, as this Blanche was firing off orders to whoever she could see Jean pretty much doing the same. They did not talk to each other. They did not look at each other. They had very little to do with each other. There's an obvious tension there. As Blanche moves away and steps out, Jean stands by her side very quiet until they finally just... I, um, I suppose we should talk about all this, Jules. You'll realize when this is done, I have to stay here in the Golden Bay. You do what you know in your heart to be the right thing to do, and I got your back. What I know, damn, it only was so simple. Father has done something terrible to Blanche and possibly to you. Both of you, just as Chester as well, looks up, curious. It's too much to discuss in a current situation. I do not wish to overstep on, sir, again, but Ozinum Shikatsu hasn't led it to her, asking for help in stopping a great tragedy. Father replied and his dad declining his request, and soon after, tythos fell. This is why he stepped down and why I must take his place. Hard to explain, but honor is the lifeblood of us tortles. Our base god, Condoralla, watches us from the ocean floor. Judge us, every year she gifts us with the golden tides and the bountiful harvest that follows them. Jean, Jules, we need these gifts to trade with Zinda to feed our people to armistles against our enemies, I... Jean, you don't have to explain yourself. You do what's right. All right, then I must stay. I believe I had not come back. Condoralla would not have sent the golden tides this year. Father had... he has overstepped his place. He has shattered our honor, and so I cannot say no to this. It would dishonor my house the entire bay if a new Montelio does not rule. My people will see great misfortune to Condoralla be displeased. It's so funny, I've spent so much time fretting over my choices over doing what is right only to have Father strip our choice away from me in the end. You've always known what's right. Embrace it. Have I? When I saw the letter, Jules, I took it for myself. I... I ran from Sir. I tried to hide it. You were scared. It was still wrong. I had had two. In a time when she needed me. Damn it. You guys would be okay. Maybe. He turns away from you here, kind of looking out towards the sea. Can I feel like there's something catches in his voice he tried to say the next big? I think Blanche will not be staying here with us after all of this. I, um, please keep an eye on her for me so I can certainly handle herself, but I think she'll need a friend going forward. And you're the best friend I know, Jules. Please. Make sure she's all right. Of course. Of course. Just like this long moment. And then after the long moment, Jules turns his head out to the bay. I am going to go fart on the bed at the pale moonlight though. And if you're staying here, you can't do shit about it. I'm going to miss the pale moonlight so much. Jules looks back over. Gives John a playful nudge. And pulls him in for a hug. Shut the fuck up. He just arms wrap around you tight. You're one of my best friends. I'm getting on this. Hey, come on. I'm in. You too, Jules. You changed me. Thank you. And you me. I think we hear sound of switching waves as around the edge of this dock around like you're coming out from one of these games. We see four manta rays in formation, Blanche riding atop one of the star little saddle hanging on. Sitting on a saddle, let me standing upon it with these sort of foot rests, big leather. What do you call that thing? Pommel? Raines? Raines like that one. The rain's kind of in her hand as she's weaving away, turning it towards you. Like John's eyes brighten as he looks over. Oh, analda. Oh, it's been so long. You see this snowy white manta. You get the reference, they don't. Yeah. It's a snowy white manta ray, so it slides up before him and he just kind of like squeezes some glee. Then I'm good to see you. Yeah. Oh, the manta kind of reaches down sort of pets as it reaches the edge of the dock. I'll ask Blanche. Your manta, the manta master defense must be another pretty special one. Does that have a name? Does that have any unique characteristics? Yeah. I'm going to guess that defending the Golden Bay from these Sahagan, whatever, has taken a toll on Blanche's manta. He's been scarred, chewed up and spit out. And that's how he got his name, Chew. Chew. Or analda and Chew, and somehow that just feels so right. A couple of standard cool gray manta slide up behind. Who's those chews going to ride Chew? Don't even get your own manta. It doesn't get a name because it's just a manta. That's manta four. Manta four. Chester, you've got manta six. Why don't we get like, you know, like manta five is out. All right. That makes sense. Hey, he's defending the eighth pool. That makes sense. Hey, no, he's probably good at that. Everyone sort of climbs on. It's probably a very strange feeling, Jules and Chester. These can slide over and you're kind of like slowly stepping out under kind of wide bodies and, you know, moving over this sort of slippery skin. These things are huge, gigantic, probably, I don't, ten feet wide sort of thing. As you're kind of moving into the center of their backs, you're standing up on the saddle, grabbing the reins. Just a really weird feeling as they kind of move within the water, but they're trained well and they don't jerk. They don't try to toss you off or anything. They're gentle, gentle creatures. I think Jules, he just comes up to a first and just stands there and stares for a minute. He's nervous, but then I think he just tries to play it cool and just struts right on. No, Jules, can I miss this step onto him? They're definitely cool, right? Don't waste his spell slot, Chester. If I find the right one, don't waste his slot, damn it. Just climes on. You can't use anything except for in combat. It's all about preserving resources, Chester. All right, yeah, I get it. I get it and it climbs on. Clearly not because that's like the fourth time you've asked. That's just really cool, man. Yeah, no. It's even cooler in the fight. Almost as I couldn't teleport once a day is too little. Blanche is in like special operations mode and she puts on her goggles of night. Holy hell. That is awesome. I forgot about that. Eyes of my newt seeing can go in the back for a little while. I forgot. It's dark. It's quite dark. Ruppro. Never mind. Forget I said any of that. You're staring out into the night sky and you guys jump onto your mantas. You're cutting it. It's not night. We didn't remember that. John doesn't have dark vision or anything. That's great. We leave at dawn. They're sacrificed. Where are you even going? Helping your mantas you begin to slide out. It's a John Blanche kind of, I imagine you're in a form, you know, sort of square formation, John and Blanche in the front. Chester and Jules in the back on mantas four and six. And you push into the bay. Now I should mention that the luminous analogy still coats the top of the water. It still shimmers with golden light as you glide across it. Though blood and danger await the end of this short journey, you find yourself swept away in a surreal beauty. Stars shining above radiant waves. You're just lost in this moment of transcendence. That's how we get away with not needing dark vision. I'm also thinking it would be really cool if we had like a painter with us that could paint Jules against the night sky. The midnight prince at night nights. Oh my gosh. This would be a scene to see. Dude, the midnight prince at midnight is such an emo band name. Midnight prince at midnight. That's going to be my side project. Yeah, there you go. The beautiful sad part's over now. Now it's scary time for scary music. Shut up. Scary podcast. Scary podcast. You come. Turn the lights off. Soon enough to the open mouth of the Golden Bay where the algae abruptly cuts off, leaving you pushing over waves that feel just bleakly dark. The blackness of the ocean at night has never felt more apparent as you leave the golden waves behind. But you push on to the west, shooting out into the sea from the edge of the Golden Bay. You will need to travel nearly 14 miles to reach the Sahagan territory. It might not be night when you get there. Hmm. Let's say the torrent ended at sunset. As the sky was deeply red, there are scenes that followed from what happened right afterwards as the night set very early. So we're going to call about nine o'clock as you're hitting this sort of edge of the bay moving out, right? I think that works. 14 miles, I say a mantic could probably go about two miles an hour. So we're going to say about seven hours to reach your goal. If that's your goal, we'll get to that. We'll get to that now. Because the Sahagan territory does not need to be your destination. You have some options here. You can try to cut the Sahagan off at the mouth of the Sendine River. If they already reach the open sea, though, it'll be much more difficult to catch them. They'll have the luxury of traveling underwater. The turtles will need to surf at least once an hour to be kept alive, but it'll be hard to catch those brief windows where your foes do actually appear. But as the Sahagan territory is rimmed by a ring of shallow water, with many spires of stone protruding from the sea here, they'll be more noticeable as they try to pass. You know the direction they're traveling from. If you beat them to their territory to this rim and wait an ambush, you may yet catch them. This will be the most sure way to find them, but also the most dangerous. As you'll be committing to a battle just outside their kingdom. In the midst of the shallow ring, the water becomes much deeper in the maw of Garniacs, known to the turtles as simply the maw rest at the bottom. That's where we're going to be. That's where shit's going down. There's going to be scouts circling the perimeter. You know there will be. Many more warriors lingering just inside. Hopefully the Sahagan forces at the Master Defense Shavak. Offense Shavak. And the shell-garter skirmishing with the 8th pool has pulled away enough of the Sahagan forces that you'll be able to escape without notice. I say that word different every single time. It's so hard. It's a weird word. Perhaps you could find a way to catch Sahagan on the open sea, far from both of your territories. But they will let me travel beneath the surface if they can. It's very difficult to spot them. Maybe you could find a way to grab their attention to lure them into a trap? I don't know. The beauty of it is I don't have to know. Because this is not my story. It's yours. How do you want to play it? Okay, so on the map it's basically a triangle between the Golden Bay, the mouth of the Sendine River, and the maw. Yep. We can travel from the Golden Bay up to the Sendine to try to cut them off at the mouth. It's very unlikely in this corner we get real fast to get out there. It's a long journey for you and it's possible though. Yeah, so then we're chasing them through open water. And they could be beneath you without you knowing it unless you have scouts a way to scout in the deep sea beneath you. Right. What about if we kind of do a middle ground thing and try and meet them further out from the maw kind of in the middle? Well, then it's like finding a needle in a haystack. That's true. We got some magic users here. That's going to be cool magic. I hope you find that needle. Oh yeah, I got the spell of find anybody within a 14-mile radius. I mean... There's probably a spell for that. There's something kind of sort of... I put into the Ring of Spell storage that John has. Locate object. Whoa. Let me pull up. Okay. Object. So I can read it and not get it wrong. Describe your name and object that's familiar to you. You sense the direction of the object's location as long as that object's within 1,000 feet of you. If the object is in motion, you know the direction of its movement. The spell can locate a specific object known to you as long as you have seen it up close within 30 feet at least once. Alternatively, the spell can locate the nearest object of a particular kind, such as a certain kind of apparel, jewelry, furniture, tool, or weapon. The spell can't locate an object if any thickness of lead, even if the sheet blocks directly into the object. They always put lead in the spells. Are these like... Are these dungeons like lead-lined? There's always something about lead. Some leech somewhere is like, "Oh, they're not getting me with locator." Yeah, I've got a lead-lined sarcophagus. So I was hoping to like, save that in my back pocket, but I feel like it's such a big part of our planning. That's pretty damn cool. It's only within 1,000 feet, right? 1,000 feet. It's a detector. Yeah, that's almost a quarter of an egg. Yeah, yeah. If you're above them, you'll... I mean, if they need to serve as regularly, then often I want to go too deep. They got to keep those tortoise alive. They want them dead when they want them dead. No time earlier. It's also a matter of figuring out, actually, if we get to that point, if we're actually ahead of them or behind them. Right. Because chances are, we're going to have to go a direction when we get to around that area. Let me ask this. Do you know an object you could locate? I mean, I'm going to guess that, you know, fighting them, however often the tortoise fight the Sahagan. They'll at least know something of their apparel, jewelry, tools, or weapons. Oh, I should make you roll for this, but that's a pretty good point. I mean, they had a history of fighting each other. That's a really... You've been leading these fights. Right. Okay. Well, Jean has not, because the ring of spell storage, I mean, Blanche could take it. Well, but then she'd have to attune to it. But I'm still sure that Jean knows what their weapons are like. Yeah, Jean would be aware. It's probably one hanging on the wall somewhere. You know today. Trophy of War. A champion has, it leads us group, and you would know the champions of the Sahagan are like their most powerful fighters. Very likely this one would wear armor crafted from like, like, interdwoven clamshells, almost big, a scale male of sorts. It would weld a spear by top by a very, like, a reinforced and sharpened conch with a cha. Did we ever, we never confirm that? I'm 110% positive that it's conch. I just don't think so. I think it's conch. It's not. You wanna run this game? It's conch. I'll conch you on the head. Anyway. You could use Locate Object to find these things. You feel pretty certain. You could locate this champion. You know their ranks enough. You know. You know. So with that in mind, what's your plan? Conch shell. Conch shell. Wait, what does that say? Then movies and books that I've read. Or movies from books that I've read. You should say books. Books always say it. I've only ever read the word. It's too good. You can't. No. I was just like ridiculous. The power's gone to his head. Nope. There's a specific movie that I remember watching. I don't remember that. In school, where was conch? Don't worry. In this world, the Golden Bay, it's conch. Sorry, I'm erasing this from Chinese Man's Universe. All of it. I'll talk of conch. Oh. I'll conch you on the head. Uh. Where are you buzzin' that skeleton? Who do you think, Jeremy? That got ya. Buzz nuts. You know what? You know what? Fuck you, Steven. Take a button, Jeremy. That was funny. What? That was funny. You get a button, Steven does it. Yeah. What? Cause I know how to say conch? No, cause Jeremy laughed at my joke. You said conch. I'm petty tonight. I don't give a shit. Buzz nuts. I'll take it. Oh my God. Um. I don't like the idea of trying to head them on at the outlet. I don't either, but I like the idea of going to the mall less. Yes. Well, that's what I'm wondering if we should just try and go in between. Yeah, I mean. Yeah, but then we're in open ocean. The open ocean means there's not where they'd be scouts from them. That's my main thing for going there is we might be out of the range of all the scouts. It's hardest to find that if you have a magical way of potentially fixing that, you know they're route. You could try to ambush them somewhere along the route you expect them to take. You have a quarter mile range when you decide to cast the spell. You could math it out, try to get the right timing. For ten minutes. Sure. Ten minutes is rough, but like hey. I mean, so we're at least in agreement that we're not going to the mall. I would rather not go to the mall. Same. Same. Shit. It's tough. Ten minutes is going to be there's going to be a die roll about it. It's going to be a fortune die. Well, yeah. And then like what happens when that doesn't go well and then we blow the spell and we sit there for ten minutes. And we're like, oh man, nobody showed up. Okay, I guess let's go to the mall and we get to the mall. And they've already passed through that outer perimeter and then they're on Spike's death. Well, I'll say you'll be faster than them. They have prisoners. It's going to slow them down. You're a small squad, a badass manta rays. If you do pass them, you could probably catch up and pass them again. Okay. Okay. Wait. Did you say we could catch up to them? You just said we could catch up to them? If you hit him in the middle, you could probably, you would assume, turn and try to catch them if you missed them while using the tech. Yeah, but we wouldn't know that we missed them. Yeah, I mean, again, it's going to be a lot of risk. I'm just saying the fact that we could catch up means we could probably go to the outlet. And then if we don't catch them there, we can catch up to them on the water, potentially before the mall. If something slowed them down, it's possible you can catch them right in the river outlet. If something slowed them down. Again, it's going to be whatever you're going to do. There's going to be fortune die rolls and then you get a little more difficult depending on where you decide to head them off. I'm just saying you do. If we go to the outlet, we can still catch up to them if we missed them. Yeah, all right. We've been doing this for way too long. The chance of us catching up before the mall is probably pretty decent. Right. I can't imagine we miss them by that much. Yeah. Okay. Let's go to the mouth of the Sendine River. Okay. There's the Golden Bay. That is 12 miles just about. So six hours by Manta? Probably 12 miles. Sometimes the miles thing on... Roll toward it can get a little weird when you go diagonals, but... Right. Yeah, say about six hours. Now, they would have gotten a decent, decent head start. They got away. Gosh, my car in the news. He came to you. You suited up. You went that way. But again, they have prisoners. They escaped a bloody battle. A lot of stuff. Life is going wrong. The Sendine's not an easy place to move through, especially with a fucking shark. Which, I will say your reports tell you, they have a shark. It's how they're pulling prisoners away. Okay. And you blast into the sea along the coast shooting across the rivers that lead to the pools across the sandy beaches. Towards the mouth of the Sendine River. Alas, during your journey. Is there any conversation? My initial thought to that is no. Yeah, Blanche isn't in a particularly chatty mood. Yeah. I realize that makes for bad role play. No, this is fine. Well, I mean, I think, and Jules is the same too, I think. I think they both have the same mindset in this and that they're... They're on a fucking mission. And they're going. Yeah. And that's it. And Chester follows whatever Jules does. He's picked up on a lot of his mannerisms and I think he's the same. Yeah. He knows when it's time to... He doesn't like to shut up, but he knows when it's time to shut up. Yep. And John, I think, looks more regal than you ever seen him before. Staring forth. Mouth. Set. I think you see him look, he glances towards Blanche. A lot. Like he wants so badly to say something but knows this is not the time. There may never be a time. I want a character image of this. Yeah, for real. Four man arrays going across the ocean on the night sky. Oh. Yeah. I love that. Who wants to roll me a D100? I did the last one and it didn't fit through the guns I have. I can roll. Before I roll this, is there anything you can do to increase the speed of your mantas? Or will it take the six hours to reach? Increase the speed of the mantas. You might not have anything in your pocket. Scarios. This is catching them here is a speed game. Other places are different. It's going to require different things, but this is all about game there before they do. No, I don't think I have anything that will get us there faster unfortunately. Okay. God. This. Okay. Do you have any specific numbers in mind for this that you're going to share or am I just going to roll it? You're going to. You need a 16 or higher. Oh, okay. 16. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. You need a 15 or lower about that. 15. What? I'm going to do it that way. I'm thinking of me as the... What? You need an 86 or higher. 15% chance. Holy shit. It's a catching number. I'm missing them. It's a catching at the river. Holy shit. At the mouth of the river. It's a long shot. But it doesn't mean you failed. You can still turn around and catch up to them. That's possible too. Okay. But are they going to... How are we going to know that we missed them? Yeah. Good point. Also, you little devil not divulging this information before we made the decision. I told you it was slim chance. It was a rough one. 15% is really fucking slim. Yeah. Slim. Okay. I mean fuck. They got to make calls. Maybe they didn't get there already. Maybe they're still coming. Shit. That's very slim. Yeah. I bought that myself. Yeah. All right. I guess let's see what happens. Hold. Do. What? It's an 85. What'd I say? 86. Oh no! It's an 86 for her, didn't I? That is amazing. That is amazing. All right. I didn't think we were going to get it anyways. No, no. I'm going to give you something here actually. I think that's cool. You reach the river itself. You reach the mouth or it meets the open sea. Wait. What? Wait. What madness do you have in mind? It's an 86. But then you said 15% chance. Yes, right. Isn't that 85? I think because when 100 counts it's 86. This is important. Figure it out. I'm pretty sure 85. I'm pretty sure that's 50% of them. Pretty sure. Right. I'm 100. The thing is that it's zero through 100. Is it? So that's right. I don't think there's a zero on that. Yeah, there is. If there's a zero then that would be 15%. If there's a one then it would not be. Wait. I don't know. I think it's possible. Yeah, positive shit. Let's figure this out. Are we called wizards? We called Harvard? We called everyone. We called NASA. Hold on. Actually, MIT is returning. I just got the voicemail at first. They were like, oh, they're saying, hey, you're stupid. There's not a zero on it. I don't know why I thought there was a zero on that. That's a legit thing. I don't know why it's 86. You're too kind, Jeremy. You're too kind. Because you're right. Like I said, 15 or lower gets you 15%. And I don't know why, but obviously that was like 86 or higher. That's 14%. You're right. That is 14%. I'm dumb unless I'm not dumb and I was right the first time and now I'm dumb. Well, then we just all saw dumb and then fine. We're in this together. Great. I am meant for 50%. Editor, Jeremy here. This time I brought the guys with me, Steven and David, both here. David, what's up? Alright. Pants people. Just. We. We know. Okay. We know. We know. 86 or higher is 15%. 85 or higher is 16%. We know. We figured it out. Our dumbasses eventually came to NASA. Did us wrong. We went to the wrong people. Well, that's the thing. That's the thing. We went back to the drawing board. We consulted a couple of fourth graders and they helped us figure it out. Oh, no. Oh, so yeah, we're stupid. We're really. We're like twice big stupid. It's pretty bad. I hope you're still listening. Obviously, we're proceeding as if they'd passed the role because we did already. You know, this is two episodes later. We're recording this because that's allowing us to figure out how stupid we actually were. Um, so yeah, but I think it's been fun. You know, the, the falling out of this. I just want to get. What happens next is fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's good. It's terrifying, but it's very fun. The most important thing though. Don't add us. We know. Guys, we learned something. Yes, we learned something. What do we learn? We're idiots. Yeah, and we're never. Oh, I knew that. Ever. I knew that. Rolling percentile die. Again. Not to the show. I was just going to walk away from it because I was like, oh, yeah, you know, with the zero. It's like, it's like the, uh, it's like the roulette wheel. You know what I mean? It's like, it's always in the favor in favor of the house. Like. You're at an 85 actually. The odds of this scenario happening. Oh my God. It's about. It's about 15%. No, it's 1% actually because it's a number. You fool. All right, I'm back. I'm back. I cannot believe that this happened. Utterly shocking to me. 15%. I thought no way. I was like, I was sitting there. I was like, man, I feel like we already made a decision. But man, this is bullshit being like, okay, you got a 15% chance. I was like, all right. Well, let's just, let's just fail this and then figure out how we're going to catch up or something. Um, so I certainly was not expecting that. You are gliding along the coast as you get close to the send down. You stay a little closer to, I think at this point, the, the sandy beach is gone. Moving along sort of a rocky sort of cliff ridge as the terrain beside you begins to rise and rise up. Where the sendines or a carves, it's niche into it. Around the corner ahead, you're looking out. You can see where the water funnels out into the open sea. You're staying close to the cliffs. You're staying tight. So they don't see you when you see them. Oh my God. They are just jutting out of the river. You see your foes. I think as we're approaching, Blanche keeps looking off to the right. She's looking out to the open ocean. I don't think Blanche thinks that we're going to catch them at the mouth. I think she's like, this is the first place we need to go. But then we need to find evidence that they already passed through and we got to chase them down. If you went to the, the mall, you're waiting for hours. Right, exactly. You were caught by every scout they had. Like, they must have, you realized something had to have happened. They had to have like come across or some fallen tree. Something went wrong. But like, there's a chance, you knew the Sendine. You're thinking about the Sendine right now. This time of year, it's rough. You know, we haven't sent the workers out to like clear it up yet. And there's a hog and probably don't know that. So as they're going down, like maybe you had this in mind. Are you in fact listening to your strategy? Like, oh, they'll slow down significantly. Maybe. There's a chance, but just, just a chance. Holy shit. So let's talk, let's talk brass tacks here. What's their setup look like? Let me describe. See a lot of things as you look out from your kind of skewered place of approach amongst the cliff side. You see as before they dive into the water, they're still kind of staying up top. They haven't moved to go down yet. And so you see five totals, tied, handed, foot connected in a line, gagged and blindfolded and pulled along by a 12 foot long hunter shark under the champion's command. You see that six swaggin surround them in a fish shaped formation, three in the back of range, like a tail fin to the side, like a side fin. Nice. Yeah. At the head of the line, sort of leading, riding atop the shark actually, is the champion. So Hoaggin, I should say, are green scaled, piecing, humanoids with hungry mouths filled with rows of razor sharp teeth. Fins run down their back and jut out from their faces and arms and long tails. Though generally scantily clad, they do tend to armor themselves with reinforced shells. Most wear, pauldrons fashioned from a sharpened conch. Conch. Conch. Shut up, Steven. You can see at the champion where's a full set of armor woven together clam shells. As I said before, is a form of scale mail, a battle skirt of seaweed and long spiraling shells. He looks to be male with a hooking figure and a long, deadly shell made spear. You have tussled with these foes before Blanche, probably many times. I think you've may faced a Hoaggin champion full melee a couple times before, but I don't think you're fully defeated then. They vow to draw as they've been quick attacks during larger confrontations. You know they are a brutal society this Hoaggin, driven by bloodlust and only holding respect for strength and viciousness. Their champions are few in number and they are the very best hunters of their ranks. Many years ago, before your time as a master defense, Jean's mother fell to one of their spears. She was a warrior of great honor and renown. Even she can hold up against one of their ilk. Instantly inside note, that particular champion, now known as Baroness Tyralia, now rules over this Hoaggin as a whole. Following that victory over the totals, that pristine sacrifice that was made. You see these foes now, slowly moving away from you. You were caught by their rear, they don't notice you yet, they may be at closer. But you may be able to get the jump on them. How do you want to proceed? I will say they are about 100 feet off the river moving away. Soon they'll probably dive down and they'll be harder to keep up with them. At least harder to catch them. But right now, because you're all the fucking 85. Can we reflect real fast on how stupid that whole thing was? It's amazing. Everyone who can count to 100 has already stopped listening. Yeah, we lost everyone. They're like, "You know what, David's right, there are too many D&D podcasts." This one? Not worth my time. Doesn't have a solid control on percentiles, I'm out. It's what you look for. It's the first thing you look for. Oh my goodness, okay. So, how much distance is between the hostages in the sahagan? Let me answer your question. With a new map. Okay, map, there we go, sweet. Okay. Wow. So much detail. I should mention this is not tried by Rochelle. It's just a blue. It's just blue. I was like, "I can handle this." And it still looks like shit somehow. Oh, they're... Oh, that's... You see what I mean? Yeah, that's very... The total is tied in the line, attached to the tail from the shark. The sahagan are fully surrounding them. They're like in the center. I hate that. Yeah, that's pretty not great. It's a bad situation. You know, the sahagan aren't like other foes you fought. They're not going to be like, "Ooh, buck away or we'll kill the total." They want these totals alive. They'll want you alive if possible. Because the more they sacrifice, the better off they'll be. That's what they want. Yeah, so if this formation is like a hangman stick figure, the hostages are like the body. Ooh, good. No, yeah. Nice. With three making the legs, two making the arms, and the shark and the champion making up the head. So, my first quick thought with this is that we need to detach them from the shark. Yeah, my first quick thought is to get rid of the three on the end. Because we're coming from, basically, below the legs, right? Right. We're behind them, you said? Yes, you're behind the combo. Right. Right behind. I think Blanche can do maybe some big damage there. Okay. An opening salvo. Okay. What do you think about the possibility of Blanche doing that while somebody goes and jumps to, if they're able to get there, jump to the last total in the line. Because then that person can potentially go up the line. And like disconnect them as they go up the line? Yes. I'm thinking that we're probably like maybe an invisible Chester. Oh, see, now you're talking with invisibility. Yes. All right. All right. Question, though. Can you make Chester and Amanda invisible? Because Chester can't swim that fast. Right. That was my next question. If we can get close enough, I can make Chester invisible and he can miss the step. Onto what? Onto the total. And just kind of ride the line. Honestly? Kind of this soul. Oh, Ocean's 11. Invisible Chester, standing on the back of this total, reaches down undoes. Well, and the thing is, like, yay. Frogs about the line. He'll start cutting. He'll start cutting. He'll start cutting when he gets to the second to the last total because he doesn't want to be stuck, you know. He'll go to the next total cut behind him so that he still stays on. Kind of like, oh, what was that movie? There was a movie. Ocean's 11? No, no. I don't know if it was called Everest, but, like, I remember I was traumatized by this opening scene. It was, like, a family, like, a father and a couple of his younger daughter and son. And they were like, they were, like, ice climbing on Mount Everest or something like that. And it was the son and daughter in the front line. Oh, yeah. I know the movie. Then the father was the third. Yes. And there were two guides behind them. Yes. And then the other side of the line, like, started to break loose and the daughter and son were holding on to the wall. And the father knew that he had to, like, so he cut his line on top, you know, above him. And the three of them. And I was like, oh, I'm still-- That wasn't a vertical limit. Honestly. I know what you're trying to talk about, though. I know exactly which one. Rover initiative! Hey, David, what are these four things that appeared in the bottom corner? I'm, like, slowly trying to build the map with magic. Oh, that's ours. Okay. Well, Stephen had a lot of things. I'm excited to relisten the episodes so I can hear what he said. Because I'm building the map right now. I wasn't sure where you're going to fight. So I wasn't sure where you're going to add spires to this thing. If I was going to advance this thing. It's all in province. So just give me-- Yeah, whenever you're ready. Whenever you're ready. All right. And we're back. Yes, Stephen, that was a vertical limit. Yeah. I saw the scene and I'm either thinking of a different movie or there's, like, a Mandela effect sort of thing going on. Or I just created a false memory for myself. No. One of those three things. I don't know. They have the opening scene that's not icy, but a lot of the rest of the movie is icy. Yeah, but they're also-- I don't remember where they went to. But there also weren't guides behind them in that scene that you're talking about that you showed me. And I remember-- And you're Mandela effecting it. Like, you just have a different memory. You're in a different timeline than all of us. Yeah, probably. Like, I don't remember anything about that movie. Except for things like that. Huh. Anyways. Anyways. Let's kill these fish guys. I'm still sitting there. I'm a headphones were off until just now. I'm still doing stuff. Okay. Here's what's going to work. You are approaching from behind. I'll say when you get within, oh, 40 feet of the scouts. They're like, we're going to notice, you know, unless you can find a way to, like, hide yourselves. You could go underwater and, like, try to get close. You know, if it's going for long, jewels and chests, they've got to hold their breath. But if they're above water right now and they still are, you have to catch them that way. Once you get within those 40 feet, if you don't obscure yourselves in any way, shit goes down. We're going to roll for initiative. And there you notice you, things are going to happen. Real quick, you have mounts in this combat. Let me explain what that's going to look like. On your turn. Your mount will go on the turn. You have a shared turn with you, right? You can decide if you want to go first, the mount can go first. They do have an attack. They have a move speed of 40 feet. They have 26 HP. I'll tell you that right now, 13 AC. These are not super tough, but they're just more made to get you around so you can get in close and strike. They have a charging sort of ram maneuver they can do. So if you run towards land and hit them with a ram attack on the same turn, they take extra damage. They just set the ramp and beat things up. So that's how it's going to go. Basically, when you get to go, you can decide. You want to go. You want to go. You move with them. You can jump off of them after they go and you can do extra movement that way. If you want to abandon your Manta for Jules and Chester, your Manta's, I would be said, are trained to follow the leads. So if you want to do something different, if your Manta go a different way, you're going to need to roll an animal handling check. John and Blanche have training on these things. They know their mounts. They don't need to roll that check. But you guys do. Otherwise, the Manta will default to follow behind the one that's leading it. In Jules' case, it's going to be Blanche's. In Chester's case, it's going to be John's. The side kicks it together. Heroes together. That's what the Manta's want. All right. Okay. Okay. You are crashing down the waves, pushing through quietly, quietly, moving up behind these sahagan. What do you want to do to kick things off? Well, as we're moving up, Jules will get as close to Chester as he can, reach over. Touch him. Cast invisibility. Okay. And say, you know what to do. All right. Yeah. Apples to apples? The old skinny? I'll figure it out. Thanks, David. We know each other well enough. Ninety-nine percent of the situation, Chester knows what to do. So to confirm for the listeners, yes. He is going to go invisible and then when we get close enough and in range, he's going to miss the step onto the line of tortles and while invisible, go up the line, cutting him loose. Apples to apples. Sure. Hell yes. Chester's got his move in mind. Yeah. I'll say it's not going to proc the removal of invisibility. They could still potentially notice Chester because he's not going to be using hide actions each round, but it'll be hard for him to notice him. If you cause a distraction, it might be impossible to notice him. So, okay, Chester vanishes. You get closer to anything else. I think that's it for right now because we're not within 30 feet, correct? Not yet. Not until we start on that. Yep. So that's it then. Okay. Blanche, you're leading this thing. John looks to you. Doesn't say a word because this is not time for speaking, but he nods to you. Maybe something in his eyes is hope. This look of we might not come back from this, sir. Any smiles? Blanche is going to draw her sword. I don't know that I'm going to use it, but she's going to cast blade song anyways. And wringing out over the waves. And quietly, she'll say to John to John. Well, soften them up in the back. You know what to do. After that, cut the reeds. I... you'll figure it out. Yes, sir. We'll do this together. All of us. Where? Smiles. We're unstoppable, aren't we? She's going to- Can I get a button? No, stand it. She's going to put her, she's going to drop her reins and adjust her position and raise her arms out in front of her. And in response to John, she'll say, "Well, that remains to be seen, but luckily we have some element of surprise here." And the water beneath those back three Sahagan begin to bubble. What? What? What? And a tidal wave rises up as Blanche casts tidal wave. What? Fuck. A wave of water crashes down on an area within range. The area can be up to 30 feet long, 10 feet wide, blah, blah, blah. I need those three to make a dexterity saving throw. Holy shit. That is... okay. Okay. That is amazing. Let's do this thing. Three rolls. All decks. It's me. I'm guessing two fails in the pass. '94, '98, '98. Oh, yeah. I thought you said '94, '98. No, I heard '90s. I was like, "You're rolling the wrong dice, sir." You know all my monsters can do? Yes, the four and the eight both fail, the 18 passes. Okay. So the two failures will take 48 bludgeoning damage. Holy shit. The save will take half as much. This is a new spell? This is a new level three spell. Damn. And the two who failed will also be not prone. I don't know what that means in the water, probably nothing. I think it means nothing. Not great rolls. '18 was the full damage. Oh, my God. Wow. So nine for the passer. That's not great? No. That was a, I think, a five of four or three and a six. You guys reached about average-ish? When I put up, when you put on the map, you're about 40 feet behind this back line as you're as gliding. And you get in the spot, you reach out. The waves turn here. What? Screaming as the waves sort of come down upon these soggy, bludgeoning them. Two of them go sort of swirling off in the water, looking really bad. The one in the center kind of guards against it, spins around, sees you. Tortoise! Tortoise and sermons! They are attacking us! And everyone turns their way, the shark in the front. The leader turns towards you and faces you with a big, toothy grin. Roll four. Initiative. All right. Oh, baby. That was pretty much all I got. I'm not sure what I'm doing after this. That was one hell of an over. Like, you guys are doing amazing. I thought I have more scouts than you guys. I did not think you'd catch them like this. This is ridiculous. I'm going to be adding 19 for my age. So that's a 23 initiative. Damn. Okay. Plus zero for John, so that is an eight. Womp womp. Can you fix his points in... Uh, did you just test her? No, I haven't yet. I'm going to do Jules first. Jules first. Didn't go all the way through. [Laughs] Didn't go all the way through. I need some heavier dye there, my friend. Bar my dye. They're pretty heavy. Get your dye away from me. Uh, that's a 16 on the dye. Plus one for 17. Guys are slaying it tonight. Chester. Ooh, 18 for Chester. That's really good. Okay. I'm really glad because I wanted him to go high up. Oh. I can't believe he worked out this way because I rolled a 21. Ooh. On my champion here. Oh, fuck. Oh fuck. - And even that's not enough to keep up with Blancherodo when she is on a fucking mission. - Hell yeah. - Waves crash down, he turns back and smiles, and then a little bit of spike of fear at just his eyes as he sees Blanchero already blasting towards him. In the moment, what are you doing? (sighs) It's very jazzy, isn't it? The song? - I like it. - I like it. - I like it. - I like it. - It's like the sharks, the shark people like it. - Yeah, absolutely. - Yeah. - Ooh, I love it. - Dad, Dad. - Blanche is going to move up within, I wanna get within 15 feet of this first sahagan here. - That one looks bad. - Okay, that's 20-inch more. And I'm just gonna go a little basic here. I'm gonna cast a cantrip, lightning lure. - Ooh, okay. - So I need a strength save from you, or you'll be pulled 10 feet in a straight line towards me. - Oh, gnarly. All right. Ooh, that is going to be a 18 on that. - Ooh, that is a pass. So I don't think anything happens. - No damage? - No damage. (chuckles) - Okay, but they're ready for you. - Yeah. - You come in, you blast out. This guy just kind of (grunts) holds against it, does not get pulled, does not take damage. Lightning will kind of hit him and he yanks it away. - Crap. - All right, I'm gonna have to rethink a bit of this strata jay. So that's it for Blanche, actually. - It's my turn now. With 80 feet of movement. My shark is going to be double. Yeah, gotta do the double move. Yeah, we'll move up to get just outside of your range, Blanche. - Yikes. - All right. - Yikes. - It's just blast through the line, blast pass towards, moves up to you, stops. - I do have a question about this and I hate this because this could only work out bad for us. But if he's attached to the front turtle. - All right, good thought. They're coming with him. - Dude, you're so good. 'Cause I just like assumed that like he was just like, "Oh, I'm gonna let go of this." And I wasn't even like, I was just gonna let it happen. - No, you know what? - Dude, I like this a lot. - I hate it because that doesn't work in our favor at all. But. - I'm gonna do this because I also don't like that for me. 'Cause I wanna move all these tokens on the map a hundred times. And honestly, I'm just gonna slow this guy down. He doesn't want these guys on his shark. He's going to battle. - He has to use an attack, actually. - I'm gonna use a lot of my three attacks to slice through the line. - All right, three attacks. You heard that right, Jeremy. You heard that correctly. - Oh boy. - And as he looks around and moves towards his sails across, kind of standing upon it, this soggy, looks like an old cocky. (laughing) - How brave of you. I am still Mr. Millar, champion of the Mah of Dirty Axe. I must say I am impressed with those deliver just some certain kind of hits in my god. He just smiles, leaps off of the shark. He's gonna drop down right next to you in the water. He does not need that. You know what? He's gonna jump. That should be easily within my range of jumping to get onto your meta ray. - Oh, fuck. - Yeah, he just jumps off. You know what? I'll do a quick, slippery meta ray. I'll do a quick athletics check. - Your name won't soon matter, as it will soon be forgotten. - Ooh, that was good. - Thanks. - That was good. David, button. (laughing) - What advantage? I didn't hear what you said. - I was, trust me. - That was pretty good. That was pretty good. I'm not gonna leave you a button though. That's how you lie. 'Cause you have a different reward of sorts coming. You say this to him and he just kind of rounds his thoughts on the runway. He leaps over, lands upon your manta. Speer slides out, run up, run, run, run, run. The tail goes out with a natural one on his-- - Oh my God. - He slips off the middle. (screaming) He's splashed into the water. - He's prone on the manta. - You're prone on the manta. You fall into the manta. (laughing) - I wasn't hoping for it, but I'll take it. - This looks at me too. He's just like, "Oh, fuck." (laughing) It will call it there. 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