Kap & J. Hood
9/12 8 AM: Dealbreakers
[Singing] Good morning and welcome in to the Captain J. Hood Morning Show. On ESPN 1000 and streaming on the ESPN Chicago app with David Kaplan, Jonathan Hood with you, we've got deal breakers coming up at 8.35 and the deal breakers Thursday. But first shot or no shot here is Shayne Orling, Shayne. Good morning boys on a Thursday after a couple days off. Football back tonight, dolphins and bills on Amazon. Very exciting. Good game, that is. How are you feeling? Man, I'm feeling great, man. Think about this, Thursday night football, Shay. Arizona State, Texas State. I know, dude. That's going to be outstanding off the chain. Over under 60. I'm not done. 60 and a half is the total. What a great game. Looking forward to Thursday football. Who? Arizona State and Texas State tonight. Well, Thursday football. Why would a penitentiary be playing Arizona State? Um, because... Texas State pen, respect the Bobcats. They get a right to have a field of team, pal. Yeah, guess what? It's Buffalo and Miami, that nonsensical mini college game. Nothing. I don't know what you're talking about. You asked me about... It's going to be a great night for football. I just told you why it would be. Arizona State, Texas State. Ah, Shay. What are the sharps saying about that game? Give me a little something on that. Take the Bobcats. Really? Yup. Oh, I heard it. I'm loading up on Arizona State. That means I heard it's really ruined that program. That's what that sounds like to me. You've been gone for a while, hadn't you? There's a reason. Two years, I think. It's tough, though. He left a trail behind, brother. Let me tell you. This is going to be fun. Thursday Night Football, followed by Northwestern State in South Alabama. Thursday Night Football. Fantastic. It is... Buffalo Bills at the Miami Dolphins. Oh. On Sunday. I look forward to it. No. It's tonight. On Amazon. Yeah. Amazon. And your friend is going to be broadcasting on the game. Who's that? You're better than that. Who? Albert Breer. Well, he's not in the booth. He's kind of a side. Kind of a reporter type, isn't he? He's the insider. I'll find that was going on at halftime. All right. Buffalo wins outright, by the way. Okay. Is that right, Jay? I'm going to tease it, but yeah. Buffalo's the side I like. All right. See you guys are on the same page. That's what we said. I just told you Moneyline winner. They're getting two and a half. I don't even need it. Is that right, Jay? Does he not need it? What's the matter? I guess it's a night game. There won't be any sun for Buffalo to Wilton down in Miami. Okay. That's fortunate. There you have it. It's going to be fun. Looking forward to Thursday night football. Eventually, I'll get around to Amazon. All right. We turn now to Shay Norley. All right. Dan Wiederer talked to Darrell Taylor who had a fantastic debut game against Tennessee. Couple sacks, a bunch of tackles. He asked Darrell Taylor what he learned about his new Chicago Bears team. Taylor said, quote, I learned this team is resilient as bleep. I'm sorry that I'm saying that, but I have to. Nobody blinked an eye. Any sudden change moment. We were ready to attack an explative filled answer about how resilient the Chicago Bears defenses shot or no shot. This is coaching. About behalf of whom? On behalf of Matt Eber Flus and the defense. Oh, wow. Yeah. I would say that that's coaching. That's a shot cap. Also veteran players that know what the hell they're doing led by Montes Sweatt. Correct. But I do. Eber Flus absolutely gets credit that they held that thing together and they were able to find a way in the second half to overcome. So whether it was as you like what you saw adjustments, whether it was the coach keeping everyone focused, it worked. And he gets the credit. It's like when the Bulls dominate in the 90s. Yeah. I'd love to coach Jordan and Pippen and Rodman and all these different dudes. But Phil deserves his share of credit. You would have been Doug Collins. So in that situation. Wow. A wild dog. No, I love Doug too, but you would have get all these technical files trying to defend your guys. You would have been thrown out of the league. I would not have been as common as Phil. No question. That's the question. That's what I beat. You would have been Doug. Correct. Trying to fight everybody for a call. That's what you would have been because you're trying to defend your players. You don't want to get screwed. Correct. And they're like, all right, Cap, that'll be all. We'll just get yourself another job. That's it. Jordan can't keep dealing with this craziness in your sideline demeanor. I will say that's the shot, Shay. And the reason why is because I will give Matt Eber Flus full credit for the turnaround, the defense last year. This is with Montez sweat, however, because Matt Eber Flus had to be able to be the defensive coordinator last year because of the fallout of said Alan Williams. Is that with the DC last year? Yeah, that was. So that's that's why I will give him full credit for what's happening now with the defense. He's got his paws all over it. So I totally understand. So absolutely I give him full credit for that. I give the players credit, but also give Eber Flus a credit too. Look what happened last year. Look, you can have talent and still be a bad unit too. This defense just particularly, they seem to have an attitude. And it seems like the culture of allowing these guys to be themselves and play the way they want to play like sweat talked about being able to play in different positions and do what he wants to do. I think that that is coaching. That this the culture and the attitude that this defense operates with is a credit to Eber Flus. Robert Salah, right? Have a lot of guys on defense. You'll know. Yeah, I mean, that's a perfect example because boy, if you have that much talent on your defense and you just get gashed on the ground, that is also coaching. Yep. Yep. Robert Salah. All right, Shane. All right. Caleb Williams took full accountability for the way the offense looked in the first game. Said he missed four or five throws. He hits and practice all the time. I think everybody can agree that part of it is true. He also said his dropback was rushed. There was a throw to Ramadunze where he felt like he was getting to his final step of his drop too quickly. The timing was all off. I saw a lot of people talking about Caleb saying he was a little nervous, looked like he was playing a little bit scared. The game was a bit quicker for him than he expected. I kind of felt like that's all ridiculous. Shot or no shot. Caleb played poorly week one because there was a lot of adrenaline for his first start. That's a shot. Yeah, absolutely. That's a shot. Absolutely. That's a shot. And who could blame him? Since you're a little kid, you dream of being the top pick and then running out of the tunnel and being the field general, the captain of your team and he's got that. Yeah, he was over-ent. Okay. We've got through it. We found a way to win a football game. Now let's go. Yeah. I'm sure he was taken aback by like, boy, I stink so we're going to lose the game and the defense and will love us found a way for the Bears to win the football game. And so that happens. Of course, we're armed with the numbers that you and Shay have given about rookie quarterbacks, their first game, what it looks like. I mean, it's overwhelming that the rookie quarterback fails or the offense or the team fails. So when it comes to the Caleb Williams, he'll find a way to get it right. He says he's never nervous. He may not have been nervous on Sunday, but I'm sure that he was surprised at how fast the defense is coming off that line, off the line of scrimmage. He had to be like, yeah, I'll just go backwards here 10 and I'll be able to get 10 yards. No. How about minus 19? Yeah. There's just no way for you to throw it away. Those guys are right on top of you. It's like you had to take that sack, unfortunately. Hopefully that won't happen again. Hopefully. 19 minus 19. That's a tough spot. Take the sack earlier. Yeah. And the reason, will that for sure or throw the ball away? Like if you're going to roll out, stop doing the loopy loops and taking yourself further out. Did he ever get out of the tackle box? Well, that's what I'm saying. Instead of doing all those loopy loops, just run to the sideline and get rid of the football. Look, I could see nervousness if he looked a little bit more like Bo Nix looked with some duck passes off his back foot, thrown into rough situations. Just didn't look like that to me. Caleb was dropping back and ripping the ball 100 miles an hour. Didn't have a lot of touch on any of his passes. It felt more to me like a guy who was just way over ramped for his debut and trying to do too much. All right, Shay. What else do we have? Woody, Jerry Reinsdorf finally released a statement about the White Sox historically bad season as they sit just five losses away from tying the American League record for ineptitude. Reinsdorf in his statement said everyone in the organization is extremely unhappy. This has been a quote painful season, but they didn't get here overnight. They can't fix it overnight. And he once again cited the changes made in the front office last year to build a quote foundation for future success, which to me reads like he is still blaming Rick and Kenny for what's going on on the South Side. Shot or no shot. The blame for this season lies solely with Jerry Reinsdorf. 1000% shot. It's on Jerry Reinsdorf. If he wants someone to blame, he can go to a Scottsdale home, open up one of the doors in his palatial estate and look in a mirror. You want to blame somebody blame yourself. Your loyalty is great. There are people that working in an organization has been there for decades. And that's great. But when it comes to the baseball team in the front office, loyalty has to, you can't be loyal to a fault. You just can't do that. When you see the organization going in the wrong direction, there's time for change. Sports has always been that way. You don't have guys that are in the front office as a GM in there for years and years and years does in a bunch of losses and a bunch of ineptitude. This is 1000% on Jerry Reinsdorf. And by the way, as much as he's been great as far as winning a World Series championship for my Chicago White Sox and six tiles in eight years, you also wear on your resume 114 losses at this point and on the way to be the worst team in Major League Baseball, you could stick it. At some point, you got to be able to take care of us the fan. And guess what, Cap? It's never been about us. It's never been about us because if it was about us as the fan, you would do right by the White Sox fan. But it's never been about us. It's about the bottom line. That's what it is. At some point, you would think that ownership over there, that it could be about us. In that statement, is there an apology? No apology. And by the way, he's got to speak again. I'm sure at the end of the year, and the apology, and he promises no. You have to care to do that. You don't care enough. 33 and 114, you wear it as an owner. Congratulations. All the great things in the philanthropy and all the stuff that we don't know that Jerry has done, right? This also is on the resume. This nonsense is pile of crap that we watch every single night with the White Sox. Congratulations. You are 1,000% spot on. And I love just sitting here, because I know the passion you have for that baseball team. This falls at the feet of one man. And his name is Jerry Reinstorf. And I have said to you for a billion years. You are right. He is intensely loyal to his employees, intensely. And that's a noble, honorable thing. But what about the man or woman or the child that is a diehard Sox fan that buys a jersey, a hat, turns on his team, listens to our radio station, home of the White Sox. Where's your loyalty to them? Have you showed loyalty to them? Because what you have allowed to go on to be the worst team in the history of the sport in 2021, they won 93 games. He should never have brought Tony back and he could say all he wants. They won those games with Tony as manager. Fine. Guess what? You undercut your GM, you started a downward spiral of your organization among your fan base. And now it's going down the drain where they're going to have the worst record for a season in the history of Major League Baseball. It's embarrassing. It's pathetic. It's a civic embarrassment when he is allowed to happen. And it falls at his freaking feet. No doubt about it, Cap. And I can go on for hours, but I won't. But I'll just say this. And I've told you this many times. I've told White Sox fans this many times. There's just no way that I can allow that to happen if I'm the owner. Cap. There's no way. Do you not want to compete? Not just the level of embarrassment that there is, Cap. That's what I mean. There's no way I could just walk around the streets or have my face shown with this outfit and do nothing about it. No, I'll keep the money in my pocket. All right, great. It doesn't matter how much money you've made. Is that how much money you've saved? It's about now that you're an owner of a team all these years. You want to do something with the ownership. You're an owner. You want to do something with the ball club. You're right? It's not just, well, we've got this TV money here and this revenue here and this revenue. It's got to be more than that. Once you're an owner, the next best thing is to win or find your way and opportunity to win. Try to win in a big city where more Rockford White Sox than Chicago White Sox. The Tuscola White Sox in Chicago White Sox because you're running it like a small minor league team. The Savannah bananas have more appeal than you do. Congratulations. Jerry walked into the locker room or the clubhouse after the Astros eliminated them in the playoffs in 21. They won 93 games and they got eliminated by a really good Houston Astros team. They won one game in the series. And he put his armor on Jose Abreu and said, "Whatever it takes, I want to get you a World Series. Whatever it takes this offseason, let's do it." All right, I got their off season from 2021 going into 22, Kendall Gravenman, Joe Kelly, Vince Velasquez. Three years for Lourie Garcia for $16.5 million. I mean, that was it. Middle shell. Josh Harrison. Yeah. Traded Kimbrell to the Dodgers for AJ Pollock. I mean, Maurice Maguire for Zacko. You didn't go all in. Bottom shell. You absolutely did not go all in. Coming off 93 wins. So, Shay? Quickly, Shannon Sharpe went viral yesterday. No, wait a minute. After going live on Instagram, well, well, hoodie, having sex. Shannon Sharpe's Instagram live was Shannon Sharpe doing the dirty. The video, which did not show anything graphic, did feature graphic audio of Sharpe with an unidentified woman named Michelle. Initially, he said that his account was hacked, but he has since taken responsibility saying he didn't even know how to go live on IG. He took his phone, threw it on the bed. Next thing he knows, people are saying his Instagram live is showcasing some filthy stuff. Shout-or-no, Shout-hoodie, Shannon Sharpe did this on purpose. I did not know IG live. I've never been on IG live. I've never turned IG live on. So, I don't know how it works. Yeah. Wow. You do it on purpose? No. I don't think he did. I don't think he did. Skip did it. You think Skip did it. Okay, well. Skip. Skip. Skip. Skip did it. I do not think he did it on purpose. Do you think Michelle did? No. I think she reached over. But he said a member of my staff put out there that I got hacked. A member of his staff, huh? That a euphemism? He got hacked. Two euphemisms in that sentence. A member of my staff put out the video. Okay. You heard it. No, put out the statements that he got hacked. I did not know IG live. I've never been on IG live. Did he do it on purpose? I don't, I say no shot. Well, here's the thing. It's like five different clicks to get to IG live. I've never gone on IG live. If I have, I didn't know or somebody handed me the phone and said go on. Like, when I was at TV, Danny Wiseaki would hand me the phone. You're on IG live. Maybe you're on Facebook. I think it was Facebook live. Yeah. I don't know how you get there. It still takes like five. It takes five clicks. I'm going to do it at the break. I'm going to see if I can go IG live from the studio. That's a shot, by the way, because, and by the way, why do we get the back end when he's done? Excuse me. I didn't see. I saw it. What'd I say wrong? What? What? What? Did you know? It wasn't in the middle of the beginning. It was too old. How did we get when he was done? Yeah, he got it. It was the back end. Why? It was getting the back end. Why did we get that? It was in the phones toward the floor. Nice flooring, by the way. Good quality floors. I know. I can't prefer as the hardwood floors over the carpet. But nonetheless, is that true? That's what you told me. I do like the hardwood floor. Yes, I thought. So with this strange, you got the picture of the, you saw the video of the floor. Or at least the carpet has to match the curtains. Are we in deal practice yet? It feels like it. Here's a question. Yes. How are you able to see the floor if the phone's on the bed, right? You say throw it on the bed, right? Yes. Yeah. He has as a setup. He wanted people to know that he's getting it in. Yeah. Are there rumors that he's not? Yes. There are, well, there are rumors that, yeah, we won't get into detail. But there were rumors. There were allegations going around that he may have wanted the dispel. That's all I'll say. I just don't know why. I just, it was kind of one of those things where he must have said, I, we're at the end. Turn it on. Why at the end? That's the thing that's so straight. Three million people saw it, Cap. You couldn't see them. You just saw the floor and you heard him, you know, moaning in lust. Wow. You want to see it? No. Okay. I'll pass. All right. Coming up. I've never seen the Kim Kardashian video either. I'll pass. I'll show you that during the break. Oh, wow. You'll, you'll enjoy that. Nothing. All right. Jay. Oh, babe. All right. Coming up. We go around the NFL. Jay Hood, our back. And you know this, man. Chicago's home for sports. ESPN Chicago. It both sucks. He sucks. I'm just a fan. I'm not a football evaluator. I love the Green Bay Packers. The guy is front, but there he goes. This is not Detroit, man. This is the Super Bowl. I love women. He starts to come any longer. This is a really thickly built guy. I mean, what's the answer you're looking for on these things here? Oh, baby. It's time to go around the National Football League here on ESPN 1000 and streaming on the ESPN Chicago app. We will hear from Super Bowl champion color analysts for the Bears Tom Thayer at 9 o'clock. Around the NFL. Here's Shay Norley. All right. Yesterday I gave you the top 10, the power rankings today. I want to talk about the first five teams out of the power rankings and what I need to see from each of them on Sunday if they want to have a chance to get back in to the top 10. We'll start with the first team out, the 11th ranked Baltimore Ravens. And what I need to see. Hoodie is an offense that looks sustainable and a Derek Henry that looks impactful. I can't see Lamar carry the ball 15 plus times with any regularity. That's just too much workload for a guy who your entire season is dependent on. And the play calling from Todd Monkin just has to be better. That's correct. Fourth and one on Thursday night in the opener. I think it was fourth and one and he called a play where they had Justice Hill hiding behind the guard leak out the only option on the play. You have Lamar Jackson. You give him one option on a fourth and one. It's inexcusable. Top Monkin has to be better. I just need to see an offense that makes sense. I think that this will be straightened out on Sunday as Baltimore has their opener against the Raiders. I expect that to be better against Las Vegas. So I believe that'll be their first win. I think they'll crack your top 10 next Thursday. All right, Shay, who's next? The second team out 12th ranked your Chicago Bears. Oh, wow. This defense is vicious. I saw enough to believe in that. This team is well coached by Matt Iberflus. But I do have questions at offensive coordinator. If this team wants to make me believe that they can be in the top 10, I got to see personnel groupings that make sense, especially on critical downs. None of this garbage where DJ Moore's off the field on third and four, especially when he's off the field with Cole Comette and DeAndre Swift. Like the personnel groupings just have to be better. And you got to get me 250 yards of offense. Or it's just more of the same. You may get that and maybe a loss as well, but the offense will probably look better. We will see. I'll say this, Shay, that it might take some time for the Bears to get into your top 10. Because there might be better teams that do it better as the Bears get better offensively. Again, strong defensively. Cap and I would agree that the secondary, the defensive line, what he replaces put together is going to be good, but the offense is lagging behind. Hopefully, they're not too long. Look, that defense is ferocious. Could they use another, I mean, all-pro rush edge? Like, Houston has Will Anderson and Dunneil Hunter. Yeah. Would I love to have two accomplished guys like that? Yeah. Well, that's not in the cards right now. But, oh, man, that secondary, those linebackers, they come to eat. But to Shay's point, again, Shay, this is why we've gone through it for the first week, where I think that Shay Waldron is just trying to work things out. This is not quick counsel at kind of looking over the Cubs for 162 games to make an evaluation. Because 18 games, Waldron knows he's going to know what he has and who he could trust, and he'll go with the best group possible. And Cole Kameh will be part of that. You better make. He will be. Or option speaks with that offensive coordinate. Seriously, I wouldn't be questioning Waldron at all if not for the fact that there were multiple occasions of his top playmakers being off the field in critical downs. That makes no sense to me. It can't happen this weekend. Roman Dunes, they didn't tweak his knee to what? Late in the fourth quarter? Mid-fourth quarter? Okay. Then explain to me how Cole Kameh, Roman Dunes, Keenan Allen, DJ Moore, and DeAndre Swift were only on the field. The five best playmakers for 10 plays. That's ridiculous. I may drive the lake forest today if he speaks with him. They have one running back, one tight end, three receivers. And 11 personnel, more times than not. It's just the rotation of guys that you want to have. You want to have guys that you can trust. And I think Cole Kameh is one of those guys. That's ain't it ever. It's not. They're saying that Cole Kameh is proving with the Bears that he can be able to work with any system. And flourish. 100%. All right, Che. All right, 13th ranked, what I need to see from the Cincinnati Bengals. Joe Burrow asked to show me that his wrist is okay. You don't have to go to Kansas City and win the game. You do have to go compete. And the offense has to look legitimate. If you look like you looked against New England, again, we got problems. You want to show me that you're what we thought you were preseason? You got to prove that wrist is okay. I won't go as far as Chris Canty this morning on a sportsman like five to seven before we come on ESPN 1000 where he says, I'm selling all my Joe Burrow stock. And I don't think I would do that. Is he healthy? The wrist is an issue. No question about it. But I'm not selling my Joe Burrow stock. Me either. The Bengals to me are going to be a playoff team. And I think that against the Chiefs, yes, it's going to be an uphill climb, Che. But I'm looking at, you're staring down the barrel of O2 into the commander's game for the Bengals. Now things get better, especially Burrows, healthy enough to play. Right. But if you go out and beat Kansas City and Kansas City where you have played well and you have one in that building before. Now you're on your way. Yeah. Because it's Chiefs, commanders, Panthers. You're pretty good. Yeah, you're like, all right, we're good. But Che's right. You got to compete. It's an inexplicable loss for the Bengals to lose against the Patriots. Right. But it happened. It happened. Back me out of the survivor. What about the other one? How are you doing there? I was alive. I played the bear in one and I played Seattle. See? You're still alive, kid. Still alive. All right. Say the next one. Next one, 14 Seattle. Go cover a spread. A week one, you escape the backdoor cover by Denver. It doesn't worry me too much. You're on the road in New England this week is three and a half point favorites. If you're a good team in this league, you should win this game convincingly. Is anything more jagged than go cover a spread? It's pretty good. Why did you say that? I don't think it's unfair either. You're a three and a half point favorite going to what we thought was the worst team in the league to start the season. Go cover a number. Put a number on New England and you'll have a chance at going to the top 10. What do you, what is our guy, Barstool Big Cat say? I don't know. Good teams win. Great teams cover. Exactly right. You think the ball club cares about that? I mean, it's about being able to, and they'll find a way to win games. The Patriots, all by the Dolphins, it's tough. It's tough. I don't think I had the Seahawks and the playoffs this year in my predictions. I think that I think I have them on the outside looking yet. They'll have to look at my sheep. I think I do as well. I end up as a wild card team. So I feel like I can have the higher expectation. And hoodie, I don't care if the ball club cares if they cover a spread. I care. Show me that you are better than a few goal against the Patriots. I think that you could be better than that with your top 10 or your bottom, your bottom 5. You can be better than that. You have better analysis than go cover a spread. I think you can do better than that. You know Smith looked good. He ran the football well. He threw the football pretty well. The defense looked okay. Got gassed by Bonix at the end. New England is a worse team than Denver, I think. Go beat them. Put a number on them. I'm just making the point three and a half point favorites. Go win by a touchdown plus, and I'll believe in you. You go win by a field goal in New England. I'm going to have a harder time. Cap, I like the oldest sense of water. They got this pH quality. What a to it now? Not the same. It isn't. It's a little different. It's a little different. It's stuff with the electrolytes. I do. It's not that it's because it's got a little red label on it doesn't mean this is good. Correct. I'm not happy lately. All right. One more. Yeah. Last one is the Pittsburgh Steelers. F-15. Well, there you have it. Here's what you need. I need to see two offensive touchdowns. I don't care how they come. If you give the ball to Jaylon Warren or if God smiles on you and Justin Fields throws a couple, you got to score points in the end zone. It was basically the game that last weekend against Atlanta was the same game the Bears played last year at Minnesota with the same quarterback proved to me that you can get into the end zone. As against the Broncos, Cap. Stealer Bronco. Stealer Bronco, I believe the Bronco win the football game. In Denver. Yeah. I believe the Bronco will win, but I think that's going to be a dogfight. Oh, so Justin will get in the end zone. He'll get in the end zone. Okay. He set them up well for field goals. Very well. He got first downs, got you in the position to kick a bunch of field goals. Do you see his throat chart though? I did. Every pass was like five yards or less. See what I mean? I remember our conversation yesterday like this three and five yard pass nonsense. Like, oh God. Yeah. Third nine. Pick up a six. Oh, geez. Sticks. But, but this is Justin, right? That's it. Ball control as much as possible. It's a position for field goal, but just don't expect four or five touchdowns. It's not happening. Don't expect three, two fair, two. Yes. Somehow this year is going to win on Sunday because Talman said so and that is around the NFL right here on cap and Jhood deal breakers is next on Chicago's home for sports. Follow Chicago's home for sports on Twitter at ESPN 1000 cap and Jhood are back on ESPN and Chicago, Chicago's home for sports. We all have to make choices in sports and in life. It could be running on third down. You ran the same third down situation and you ran the same plate twice. You're getting paid for that. I cannot believe the call for managing finances. This country, you've got to make the money for it. Or it could be a deal breaker. Deal breakers. Here's Shane Newellingshay. All right, let's get started with deal breakers. Your wife has started behaving a little differently with her cell phone. Whenever you come around, she's closing, whatever app is open, locking her phone immediately, whenever you're walking by her. Also, whenever you're just hanging out on the couch together or watching TV, she's got her phone out, but she's started to angle it just enough away from you that you cannot see it. It feels very intentional. She gets up at one point to go take a shower, leaves her phone in the room with you. Do you look at it? I do not. Is that a my concern? Do I have reason to be suspicious for a long time, or I just have access to the phone? Like, give me a little more detail. Been a couple weeks of her behaving differently with her. Being in a way that makes you think there's something in there that she doesn't want you to see. Unless she's taking angles naked and sitting there someplace else, and I catch her doing that. She's watching Shannon Sharps Instagram lines. Oh, that's okay. That's entertaining. Yeah, I've never snooped on someone's phone. No. Like, I could... My wife has my passcode. I have hers. Yeah. Because she'll say, "Hey, hon. Who texted me? I don't know how to face ID and work for me." Here's my passcode. Look at my text. Tell me who texted me. Talkin' or whatever. But I do the same thing. I got nothing to hide nor do she. I've never done that even with a girlfriend. We didn't have iPhones then. All right. I had beepers. Yeah. They had pagers. That's what they said. I've been married since '04. There was no iPhone in '04. No. No, I probably would not look. I don't. I don't care. Now, if I thought she was doing something horrific, like, "Oh God, I found a heroin in her robe." And I think she might be a drug dealer. I mean, maybe. But just the last couple of weeks, it's been odd. No, I would not look. That's a new album, James Wallace, 'cause it's good to work on it. Heroin in your robe. That happened to a buddy of mine. What? You need to tell that story. A buddy of mine. Stop the music. I grabbed his wife's robe because he wanted -- he needed to put it on to run out and get the paper or something. Put his hand in the pocket. And there was a baggy. And he pulled it out. He was like, "What's this?" Went out. It was heroin. Led to a divorce. New deal, breaker. You grabbed your wife's robe to walk down the driveway and grab the newspaper. Reach in the pocket and pull out a baggy of heroin. How do you react? I'm out. I go, "Are you selling or are you using?" I'd like to know. Which side of the aisle are you on with this? Are you selling or are you buying this? Right. And, of course, the ultimate question is, is she hot? With the meal in her arm. Right. Is she hot? [ Laughter ] Not even I was that depressed. [ Laughter ] And I'll say anything. Did you get track marks between her toes and caps like, "Oh, well." Can it be seen with the sundress? Can we see? With the strappy heels. [ Laughter ] Close toe shoes so people can't see the track marks. [ Laughter ] I really like this girl, but long sleeves always. Not exactly. Long sleeves, honey. Yeah, quicker. Turtle necks. A little mark up there. You're hot, but you got to cover the arms. Wow. Damn. And the win in the bathrobe is one of the most insane things I think I've ever heard. Oh, pretty tall. And it's unbelievable. And it's unbelievable. I'm getting divorced. I went, "What?" Great album. Really? I thought you guys had a good marriage. But you became a heroin addict. I'm like, "What?" Jay Moore, I want you to trademark that. Send that right to Robert Kelly in jail. [ Laughter ] All right. That's unbelievable. That's unbelievable. [ Laughter ] I got it. I got it. I get it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I was put some laundry. I found heroin in the sock drawer. That'll be all. Next to the biscuit's on the stove. Oh, yes. Now we got something. That's a hit. Send that out to our Kelly. [ Laughter ] Kendrick Lamar is going to play that at the Super Bowl. [ Laughter ] All right, Jay, what else do we have? All right. You are led a funeral for your friend's husband who sadly passed away. Yes. During the proceedings, another man in the friend group out of nowhere proposes to the widow in front of the casket. She starts crying and says, yes, it becomes pretty clear they were having an affair during the manner. Marriage. Well, how do you react to this going down in front of you? This is a real story, Doc App. Well, you just laid out. No way. Yes, a real story. Yes, Jay, tell him. He didn't make this up. No, hoodie actually sent this one to me. They were, I mean, the Paul Bears had walked the casket to the grave. They were about to lower it. And the pastor gets on one knee and proposes to the widow. It's unbelievable. So, a funeral proposal in the same spot. So the pastor gives the -- but not last rights. That's a Catholic priest, right? Yes. The Eulogy and the -- He gives the Eulogy and, you know, how did he die? How did he die? How did he die? Well, now you're starting to think it might have been arsenic. Right. Could be. So, I mean -- Maybe there's a little something in the holy water. Is that a deal breaker? I mean, the husband's dead and then she gets proposed to in the same spot to get married again. Wow. Deal breaker? That's a deal breaker. Is it? That's bad. Jay Moore? Yeah, it's a deal breaker, man. Well, Annie Fries in the coffee. Oh, my God. Holy cow. Deal breaker. Jeez. Oh, my God. Relieve yourself in the gas tank of the hears. With what? Yeah. In the what? Yeah. What's a hears? Hearse? Hearse? Hearse? I'm just saying. Just say. And go relieve yourself in the gas tank. What do you say? Hears. Yeah. I don't know what that was. Listen, we've got a lot going on in front of our studio right now. I'm all over the place. Now we're going to do play-by-play on what's going on. Oh, we will. Oh, we got him. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think we should. Oh, we don't give names. I'm all for, like, making our lives content. This feels a bit much. All right. More. Danny. Tax me. No, Danny, don't text us. No, do not. Oh, my God. That's not talking about this. Maybe we could do four hours. All right. Coming up next, more of the slow rolling hears. That is the Captain Jay Moore show. Follow Chicago's home for sports on Twitch at ESPN 1000 Chicago. Captain Jay Hood are back on Chicago's home for sports. ESPN Chicago. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] Deal breakers. Here's Shayne or Shayne. Rock 'n' roll. Let's go. [MUSIC PLAYING] It's a lot going on out there. You're right. Oh, my God. [MUSIC PLAYING] Evelyn Holmes, a Tracy Butler, a lot of stuff going on out there. We got it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I got Tom there at 9. I'm just telling you, like, it's a lot going on in this building. Do we call Andrew Holmes? [LAUGHING] [LAUGHING] Probably not. Do you have to set you to him in Dalton? He's got his own way shoes. We just had an ambulance pull away. Just saying, man. We had one security card. Here you go. I'll just set you up. I mean, at this point-- Is he a deal breaker? Set up? He's a deal breaker. Cap's going to do it anyway. So I'll just set you up for it. You like tread like me. No. I said no, but of course the guy's taking his beak and everything. So please go ahead and put it out there so it'll be blow back on us. Go ahead. [LAUGHING] Go ahead. We can just keep the rig on the road and just keep people in the dark. But no, I got to tell it because I just got to tell it. He's going to anyway. Look at him. Look at him. Look at his face. Go ahead. Tell everybody what's happening. So that way we're going to be called into a meeting at 10. Go ahead. One of the doors when we come in, there's a security. Look at his jacket. A lady. A lady. Yeah. She was out cold this morning sleeping. Sleeping. Yeah. Don't you call it? Whatever. Apparently, they ended her tenure working for the building. She was let go. She was let go. Well, you know how to white collar it, don't you? And ended her tenure. She was-- She was putting her up behind the door as a security specialist. We're in a fall from the wall. Hey. Here's the criminal. They asked one of the nice security men here, who they retired C.P.D. She's like 70 years old. Please escort her out. She attacked him. Attacked him. Hey. I saw him. I was talking sports within this morning when I was coming in. What? Well, what's his eyes all messed up? Oh, God. His whole side of his-- got him good. She was just taking away in an ambulance. What about him? He's back in the booth. Little banged up. And warrior. Absolute warrior. All right, so what's the deal breaker? You're fine out. That's your blind date tonight. You got it? Okay. Spicken a blind. Oh, come on. Oh, my God. I went out there. It looks like you just have like, what's going on? There's Tracy Butler. Oh, you won't believe it. She tells me the whole story. There's a lot of people out there. Oh, my God. The lobby's filled. Evelyn Holmes and Trevor Reporter out there. Yeah, Terrell Brontagne, you bet. They're all out there. All the producers, the directors, the cameramen. How was I saying? Yeah, it was insane. I can't believe what happened today. They'll make any sense. I know, Jose. I know. [laughter] I just came here to do a special, and all of a sudden, there's bloodshed everywhere. I'll say I understand. Yeah. I mean, that was not on my bingo card today. So shocking that John Garcia wouldn't be here. He only does this block as a reporter. Right. But I'm sure they'll have Larry Mendte here. [laughter] Somebody. Or Alan Krasheski. It was hoodie. It was bizarre this morning. I ran into hoodie picking up a coffee, and we're both trying to walk in through the side door, clicking the button repeatedly. It beeps every time you click it. And we just see her in the behind the glass. She's there. Slumped over, clearly asleep. I mean, there was a shoulder we saw, but I'm like, eventually she'll wake up. She never did. Well, I guess she did, but not at the time we went to the door. Crazy. Any word, Cap? Any word from that? Uh, nothing. Just tread lightly. Who? Yeah, you're the one telling the story. You couldn't wait to get this out over there. That's how I'm here. It's great. It's where content factory. That's what it is, man. It's content. Told you not to do it. And now we have the tread lightly. That was the story. And then goes, be careful, hoodie. Tread lightly. What? It's coming from you telling me to tread lightly. Don't talk about it. Let's talk about deal breakers. But, but, hoodie. I can't wait to tell it. I got to tell it. She attacked him. Who's Shayne Orland? Wow. All right, Shay, get one more in. Tom, pay your 902. All right. There's a new trend rides are doing at weddings. So here you go. Your friend is getting cold feet before her wedding. Right. And tells you in confidence that she does not want to go through with this, but she doesn't have the courage to end things herself. So she offers to pay you $500. If during the ceremony, you will stand and object to their marriage to get the ball rolling on stopping the proceedings. Would you do it? Yes. $500. Absolutely. Don't even have to bet that weekend. No shot. You just paid for my whole college slate. Thank you. Thank you. That's a shot. We're friends though, right? She wants me to do this. Aren't we friends? You know her not the groom so well. And she's like your relative unknown. I want you to stand up and object. Make this end. Now, you know me and the front end. Honey, you're a coward, but I'll do it for you. But the whole object thing, that's all nonsense, right? That's not real. Yes, it is. It is real. No shot. You watch a different world? Absolutely. Yeah, but my son got... My son Alex got married in a holy name to Three Cathedral. Um, I got married by a judge. My brother got married by a rep. I got all of them in the family all over. I've never in any type of wedding heard. Is there anyone here who objects to this marriage? Never heard. That's contrived. What about me in the back of the church doing that to Alex? What did you think? I object. You'd be so mad at me. Honey, why would you do that? I don't know. It would have been amazingly funny. It would, see. And can't you get $500 to stand up in the middle of a wedding ceremony and go, this marriage cannot happen. It would be so fun. That feels like risk free to me. I would do it. I just bolt out of the church immediately after. Yeah, because we're friends. Venmo me the 500. I had a time and I'll do it. Correct. Because we're friends. She wants to get out of the marriage. I'd say your coward because you could end it yourself. She wants me to step in that she's going to give you the money. You want the 500 in front. Just in case. Well, that's just good business, pal. Why? That's just good business. Oh, and for a friend, Cap, I would do that. Yes. Absolutely. Yeah. If somebody super close, if you said to me, I don't want to marry her, but I don't know how to get out of it. Object. I would do it. I don't need the money. Just object. I would do it for you. I don't have to get paid. Why would Cap that jackaloon do that? Oh, he asked me to do it. Take that. Take that. Tom Thayer. Let's see if Tom Thayer would do that. We'll ask him that question and a preview of the Bears and Texans with the great Tom Thayer. That's in two minutes on the home of the Bears. ESPN 1000.