We discuss marriage, mukbanging and 9/11.
Boys Gone Wild
Boys Gone Wild | Episode 238: One More Sleep
(upbeat music) - Hello and welcome back to another episode of your favorite podcast, Boys Gone Wild. I am joined here today with my co-host Andrew Cohen. - Today is the anniversary of 9/11. - It is. - And my cousin often marks these occasions with strange poems. - Sure. - He likes to mark any occasion with a poem, but he decided to do it yesterday. So he kind of wrote, I suppose it's a poem. He wrote it himself. He's made a few appearances on this podcast before, but he's kind of come back into action, which is fun. So we wrote this poem and then one of my other cousins commented, it was yesterday, which is the day before 9/11. One of my cousins commented, "It's the 10th of day, mate," to which he replied, saying, "I know, mate, this post is about the night before." So here we go. - Yep. - On this day, 23 years ago, 246 people went to sleep in preparation for their morning flights. 2,606 people went to sleep in preparation for work in the morning. 343 firefighters went to sleep in preparation for their morning shift. 60 police officers went to sleep in preparation for their morning patrol. Hate paramedics went to sleep in preparation for their morning shift. None of them saw past 10 a.m., September the 11th of 2001. In one single moment, life may never be the same. As you live and enjoy the breaths you take today and tonight, before you go to sleep, in preparation for your life tomorrow, kiss the ones you love, snuggle a little bit tighter, and never take one second in your life for granted. Hashtag we will never forget. - Wow. - Yeah. - That was incredibly moving from Simon. Is that a Simon Cohen original? - Yeah. I've never seen a poem include so many statistics. - Yeah. I feel, especially when he hit 60 police officers, that's when I think, basically maybe lose, you've made your point, I don't know. - The numbers have become, they merge into one. - Too much, if I was being critical, I'd say, maybe. - Yeah. - Don't have aged some of the poem listings, statistics. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I mean, get the feelings in there, but I mean, yeah. - I mean, what is original about it, which I appreciate, is the focus on 9/11's Eve. - Yeah. - As being the kind of main, kind of emotional part of the story. I like that. - Yeah, it's like an important arm. - Yeah. It's like an all the world is gentle. Not a soul, it's a wake. - But they did not let a terror that would come tomorrow. - Yeah, no one's ever really focused on it. And I think, 'cause he's one of those Facebook posters and got love and for it, but he's one of those ones, you know. He's still his main outlet is Facebook. - This is going out two days after 9/11, by the way. - Yeah, that's fine. - Yeah. - Well, we haven't got the date wrong by the way, guys. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Less we figure. But he's still one of those people who puts everything on Facebook. And I don't know, I quite like having a different poem to mark occasions that you didn't know were occasions, such as 9/11 Eve. - Yeah, it's funny that someone- - One more sleep. (both laughing) - Well, we were talking about this last night. We were talking maybe another edition of racial shit tweets. - Oh, yeah. Well, it's- - Which hasn't really resurfaced. I only really post content on there. I'm not really getting my kind of- - Well, it's when often we will, well, it's not very often. It's once in a blue moon, actually. We'll come up with a tweet together, and it always does terribly. Because it's always quite abstract. What was the Christmas one? - No, it wasn't. - Oh, it was New Year's Eve. - It's New Year's Eve, not New Year's Steve. - I think that's good. - That's good stuff. - I think that's- - And I've got 29 likes. - Yeah, it could go worse. - But what was this one? - It was yesterday, so 9/11 Eve, just writing one more sleep. - Yeah. - And nothing else. - And no context, which I think is great. Because no one really knew it was the Eve before. No one was talking about 9/11. And then we were like, what the fuck does that mean? And then woken up the next day and be like, oh, here we are, I guess I'll do something like that. - Did anyone work it out? - No, a few people would go, they'd be, what is he talking about? - Yeah. - And then enough, I think in a few minds, it would stick. So when they wake up and saw the news and the morn, they go, oh, it's till 9/11, the University of 9/11, let's we forget. - What is your relationship with 9/11 these days? - Sparse. (laughing) - Yes. - I haven't gone on a 9/11 deep dive for a bit. - I mean, do you-- - I used to love it. - Yeah, it's one of those ones that you occasionally would just go back and get fully immersed in it. - Was it like, I wish I remembered it. - What? - Like, 'cause we were alive. - Oh. - You know, it's just a dramatic, like, you know, God rest in place. - Now, potentially this is a false memory. - It is. - I think we've, we've spoke about not on the podcast, but we've spoken about this before. - So I'll move four. - Yeah, you don't remember that. - I'll move from the first memory. - Here we fucking go. - It was in our kitchen and we had a TV in the kitchen. - Was it an old box? No, it interrupted a program. I don't remember what the program was. - Cool. - So tell us what, it was 9/11. - Probably news night, knowing you are intellect at four. - Wait, what could I have been watching, though? I wonder if it-- - Scooby-Doo. - It's one of the boxes. - You interrupted Scooby-Doo. - No, panic, panic in New York. Thousands already confirmed dead. - That's a second play. (laughing) - Rocky. (laughing) - That Scooby-Doo reacted to the news. - That Scooby-Doo reacts live to it. - He reacts live to it, yeah. - Up for the animators. - Yeah. - Quickly joy. (laughing) - No, Rocky, there's been a terrible mishap. - Miss up in New York. And then they get to the bottom of the mystery. They go and hunt down Al-Kahida. And it turns out it's just-- - It was George Bush. - It turns out it's just two kids standing on top of each other, isn't it? - I don't want to go away with it. - It wants to be killing kids. (laughing) - Yeah, that's my first memory too, actually. - What? - No, I love it. - Yeah, I don't know. There must be a name for a false memory. I think they're called false memories. - And there's like, there's probably some pretentious name, like the Romanoff effect or something. - Yeah. - I know. - Yeah. - I do kind of think it was one first memory. - I have a hot take on memories. - Go for it. - I don't think anyone on the planet knows their first memory. - You know what the Mandela effect is? - Yeah, yeah, but that's slightly different. The Mandela effect is where it's like, yeah, I guess it is a false memory, yeah. But that's slightly different, I think. That's when there's a mass belief that something was something, how it's not. - Can you not have a solo bandana effect? - I don't think you can. That would be-- - But you just misremember something. And that is-- - That'll be a Nelson effect. - Yeah, the Nelson effect. - But no, I don't think, 'cause people talk about it, and I'm just like, I don't know my first memory, of course I fucking don't. - Yeah. - No idea. Imagine trying to untangle that fucking cobweb of terror. - How far back can you remember? - No idea. Tomorrow? - What's the-- - What's the-- I mean, that's somebody who really has a bad memory. They can only remember tomorrow. - Tomorrow, I'm in a fucking hell's game. Just always look. (laughing) - What? - Yeah, no, I think, I made one up, because people were asking me. - Yeah, well, I feel like I made one up, and then I believed that a lot-- - No, I just knew it wasn't my first, I can't remember what I can, the best I can do is, 'cause we moved house quite a lot. I remember one house that I was pretty young in, so I think I would have been like maybe four, and I have a vague, vague memory of looking at my sister's collection of step CDs, and being like, "Oh, I wonder what that is." (laughing) - How old are you? - Fourish. - Four, okay, well that's an 11 time. - Yeah, I know, but-- - Bing bang, that's an 11 time. - Bing bang. (laughing) - You're a business, baby. - I am a business. - And I remember a house that we only left when I was like five. - But that's not gonna be my first memory, you know what I mean? 'Cause I'm not even sure that's true, and I'm sure there's probably a memory that I loosely have before, in the wine bank. (laughing) That's what I do, I don't troll through porn, I just go through my past memories. (laughing) - Try to remember that steps. - Yeah, what did Rachel Stevens look like? What was she posing on? - You know, I don't think anyone can remember it, and I think people who were confident about their first memories are lies. - So when was the last day when on 11 rabbit hole? - Seven years ago? - Yeah. - Well, it was around the kind of history and politics I was studying, so 9/11 came up a lot at uni. - What was the biggest thing that's happened on the day? - It's the biggest thing in our lives, which is why I'm a bit sad to not have been a bit older. - But we will freak people out. - Yeah, we'll freak people out. If we make it to our 90s, and the people will tell us that they were alive during 9/11. - And coronavirus. - Yeah, less impressive though, since it's 20 years different. - Yeah, potato, potato. - But what are we mad is if we-- - Diana. - If we make it to 100, yes, but we aren't alive for it. - Yeah, we missed it. Oh, maybe we were. - No, we weren't. - She died. - She died just as you were born, pretty much. - No, I wasn't there. - You were there? - I wasn't there. - I was still in my mommy's tummy. Oh, snuggled up. No, she died. Oh, no, it was there. She died, no, it was there. She died, fuck it up. She died on the 31st. I was born on the 28th. - Wow. - So it really was a passing of the baton. - Yes. The people's princess. - In, you know, in her stead, like a phoenix from the ashes, you rose. - What is your favorite part of I-11? What gets your goat the most? - The pictures of people jumping off the-- - That's the, that's what's the craziest part for you. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I guess it's for me, it's just-- - No. - Nothing, I've remember what mine is. - What is yours? You wanna change it? - It's the video of the second plan going on. - Yeah. - What would it like, twist? - Yeah, from below. - That is fucking nuts. - Yeah. - Yeah, I think that's mine. For sure. - There's, whisper, whisper, whisper. - That's good. I guess it's just sort of imagining the first person to see the plane from the office window. And it's just getting-- - It's just getting bleaker than mine. - Yeah. - It's just getting closer and closer. - Yeah. - And you think it can't possibly-- - They can't, come on, that's not. - I guess second play is probably better. - I think just because everyone, everyone's already gone home, that's when it goes from there's been a terrible accident to we're under attack. - Yeah. - Chills. - Yeah, we're under attack, yeah. - Well that, yeah, and obviously this is a tragedy. - Yeah. - Yeah, I think that's, for the drama of it, you know, it's real life, crazy shit. - No, I love it's such a tragedy, but because, like, United States have punished-- - Yeah. - They've slapped back so hard, it feels fair game now to talk about it. - That's probably true. - Do you know what I mean? - Yeah, they've killed their fair share with civilians as well. - They've gone back, they've really, you know. - No hands are clean. - No, well I watch the, I watch the Michael Moore doc about just, it started to kind of bush it 9/11. - Yeah. - Ish sort of stuff. - Did he, is he a bush? - No, no, no, not really, it's more there's a lot of stuff going on, it was, like all of the Bin Laden family were allowed to leave the United States in the coming days after the crash. It was quite clear that he was involved. And so there's a lot of shady stuff with like the Saudi money involved. - Yeah, yeah. - Do you think Bin Laden would have been as powerful if he was called Bin ladle? - He's already got Bin in his name. - Yeah. - So I do think, if he was called like, you know, Ran Laden, okay, like a cool name like that. - Van Laden. - Van Laden. (laughing) - Rob Van Laden. (laughing) - Sloot Van Laden. (laughing) - We'll see, he couldn't do that. - Orton, von Slarden, but you would probably, in a parallel universe, if it was Osama van Laden. - Yeah. - You would probably say, do you think it'd be as successful as it's called Osama bin Laden? You'd probably say something stupid like that. - Well maybe. - We can never rule that out. - But we're potentially living in the Bin Laden timeline. This is potential. (laughing) This is potentially the parallel universe that broke off when you suggested this, you know, imagine a world where Osama van Laden, the famous guy-- - You're a completely lost man. (laughing) - I have not gotten-- - I'm not fucking skinny. - I actually was called Osama bin Laden. - Right, that's why I'm-- - And then this timeline. - This timeline that we're stuck in now broke forward. - Well, it's exactly the same-- - Where the same is. - No, 'cause this is now-- (laughing) - Don't explain this is now to me. You can't come up with me with this is now. - I am saying-- - You said that to me last time-- - There's not me. - You said I am me at one point. - Trying to explain a point, yeah. 'Cause I was asking, you would describe in two wedding simultaneously, it was unclear. But in order to go in like, I'm me now. And I was like, fuck you. (laughing) - Do we just try to explain it? Or do we just throw it in the bin? I feel they understand. - I feel they understand. (laughing) - Don't break another timeline off. (laughing) I was saying, there's a main timeline. - Which is the main timeline. - Which is exactly the same as this, apart from Osama bin Laden's called Osama bin Laden. - Yeah. - And I believe there's a podcast just like this, where you make a stupid joke saying-- - A stupid joke. - Do you think Osama bin Laden would be as successful as his called Osama bin Laden? - Yeah. - As you said that, - As I said it. - 'Cause the fabric of space time broke off. - How am I saying? - A new reality form, exactly the same as that one, with one change. - What's the change? - Osama bin Laden's called Osama bin Laden. - Right. - And that's what we live in now. - Right, okay. Moving on down. (laughing) The reason I think that's not true, is because bin is a pretty classic name. - Yeah. - And it's actually, you know, because it's so classic, it's separated from trash cans. - Yeah. - You know, so a bin I'm okay with. - What about Osama bin Laden? - Well, obviously that's great. That's, you can't do it. (laughing) Yeah, dustbin doesn't work. - Or Osama waste paper basket Laden. - Yeah, you've not included a bin in there, so you're kind of, you're moving away a bit. Osama bread bin Laden. (laughing) - I reckon he had such a strength with-- - Osama Taq bin Laden. - Yeah, I think he, I think he's, is strength a character. - What? - Words containing bin. - Well, thank God. - John! - We've got Charlie back. - You need? - Yeah, so if I say this is a wedding, I got a haircut and Lorenzo was busy, right? - I had told him not to. - I had left it too late. I had a very short time to get this. - And Lorenzo was in the book. - So it was really, it was like an episode of 24. - Oh, I was about to say the exact same thing, damn. - About me trying to get this haircut done, yeah. So I was around Brick Lane, I was sort of mimming about, I found this kind of like, (sighing) and it's probably, it's kind of positive racism. - Mm-hmm. - There's a mysterious Japanese man called Makawake. - You've got a bit of snow in there, that. - Who, he does seem wise. - Right, yeah. - And he is apparently an amazing hairdresser. - Who did you? - And so how do you know? - Because I got, I got recommended it by a friend, so I was looking back through all of my WhatsApp's to find any hairdresser, 'cause I'd asked people it's other times. - Right. - So I went to this place and you can do walk it, but he doesn't have a, he only has one website, this is the worst desired website of all time. There's no number you can call. - Mm-hmm. - The email or Instagram DM to try and get a booking. - Right. - Or you can chance your arm at a walk. - Or you can write a note and throw it into the air. - Yes. And it felt like that. And I came in and hairdressers in general, and my whole time having haircuts are quite jovial chatty people. That seems to be one of the main remits of the job. - Yep. - Very rude, man. - Rude. Sort of rude, we just didn't want to talk. - And pissed off to be doing it. - What was going on? What happened? What did he say to you? - Well, he was a man of very few words, but a lot of the time it was just very short. - Yeah. - And it was like, there was just no pleasantries whatsoever. - Right. - There was no high. - So you sit down. - I didn't ask me any questions. - Did you ask him questions? - A couple. - Did you ask him about like the wisdom of truth and thought? - Well, I wanted to, but I felt, and then I was like, I bet he's gonna be brilliant, but then I was like, is that racist? - Is it racist to think a Japanese hairdresser would be good at his job? - Whoa. - That's an interesting question. - Well, it just, I feel like I was, you know, exoticising him, 'cause I am here. - If you were expecting him to use the samurai sword, that would be racist. I don't think it's necessarily racist to expect a Japanese man to be good at. I get away from-- - A fish for me. - I'll tell you why it was racist, 'cause I know in my head, I thought he got trained for 45 years by a hairdressing master. - Yeah, I see. - And it took him a long time. - It's the back story. (laughing) - It's offensive to think that gay people will be good at cutting hair. - Yes. - 'Cause there's a stereotype-- - 'Cause there's not a stereotype. There's not a stereotype behind Japanese people cutting hair. - But like a-- - There's a detail oriented thing. - A Japanese man of few words, it's, as a white person, it's very easy to project a lot of-- - Hatred. (laughing) - Or just a rich backstory of-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wonder what he's been for as he gets to this point, to be cutting hair in break lane. - But you imagine it's like, like the, yeah, like the montage of training a kung fu panda, where it takes-- - A kung fu panda. Well, I've just watched blow-eyed samurai, it's just like anime. - Is that good? - Yeah, it's really good. So I imagine like that, the whole thing is a backstory about her becoming like, you know, the best samurai. - And it was a lot of like, proverbs about-- - Of course. - Yeah. - It was anime. - About like, you know, you must be water, my friend. - She was like, trained by a blind blacksmith. - Yes, and then, but he has great sensory-- - Yeah, in order to become one with the scissors, you must first become one with these shrubs, et cetera, et cetera. - But I'd never had a Japanese hairdresser, so it wasn't, I was scrabbling to be racist, too. - I think he might be overthinking it. - I think there's a chance you're overthinking this, maybe even slightly. - And there's only 25 quid because it was a walk-in, cash-in-hand. - Cash-in-hand. - Whoops. - And to book it's 50 quid. Yeah, it was good, but once again, I was happy with it. The whole experience left me thinking it was better than it was. - Because he wasn't, he didn't want to talk to you. - Yeah, it just made me feel like the whole thing. - Did you feel like he was focusing so much on the hair that he had no time for small talk? - Yeah, he did a good job, he did a good job. But I do think, I probably can't afford to keep going to Lorenzo. I feel like I can be funny. And it's quite a funny thing too. - It's like us not to go to the same hairdresser. I don't like it. He talks about you, I don't care. I don't want to talk about our ratio right now. Can we talk about something else? - I don't like the fact that we can maybe have similar haircuts that annoys me. I think it's quite a personal thing, a hairdresser, and I regret ever recommending him to you. So, I hope you can't afford him. I can't afford him, certainly. It's ridiculously expensive, but I'm trapped now. - I mean, it's hard to go back to other haircuts, but I guess it's like, there's something very funny about being financially ruined by haircuts, isn't it? - Yeah, it's sad, it's sad, is what it is like. - But it's like, it's not a really cool thing. - It's not a cool thing, my heating bills, but I look great in the cold. Yeah, it's not good. But no, yeah, I back you leaving. - Yeah, do you? - Yeah. - You support it, are you gonna stay? - Of course. - Yeah, so there's no time to panic. - I'm gonna run up to the end, he's doing a statue. - How regularly are you getting your haircut? - Once a month. - Once a month. - That's not crazy. - Yeah, it's not crazy, but it's just financially, that is. - Well, I always get it as soon as I get my salary, so it doesn't feel as expensive. But, I have had, it's justified, 'cause of the awful, you go through the podcast, look through the history of the podcast. - You spend more on hair than girls, 'cause girls always go like, "I'm spending 250 quid on my hair." - I thought you meant like me buying girls drinks and clubs and stuff, I was like, "No, I do not." - 'Cause, yeah. I guess I'm really nasty haircuts that I was saying, that doesn't count. - Yeah, no, I, like, no, like, yeah. I guess I do, because they go like once. - 'Cause they only get it quite rarely. - And they always, I'm always like that, so expensive. - Look, I'm like my boy. - I'm spending 70 quid a month. Why doesn't that's a subscription? - I feel really self-conscious about my hair now, because I was out. Everyone's looking at that, so many quid, that piece of, I was out in the rain, and I walked here in the round. - No, you got good hair, you got good hair. - No, but you've seen. - 70 quid, yes, yes. You know, it's all about how it makes you feel. - How much are you paying for the lovely experience? - None. - Really? - Just for the hair. I love Lorenzo. - If it was at, like, a speedy barber's. - Speedy barber, and it came up with the same price. - Same price. - It's just about the hair. - But it's, and they had just as good a hairdresser. - It's a 70 pound haircut. - You know. - Just as good a hairdresser. - 'Cause what I love about it is the experience. - I don't love the experience. I way prefer to get in and out. I don't like haircuts, they annoy me. It's not the experience. Often I decline the drinks. He offers me a head massage. No, thank you. - You stopped taking that. - I didn't ever take it. He's a pal. Now, we're basically boys now. I've gone there like seven times. I don't want to do the maths in my head of how much I've already spent there. - But someone else will. - Oh my God. - What? - Seven times. - Yeah. - That's, is that a grand? - I would regret. - Oh. - Is it? - Is that one thousand pounds, Charlie? - Fucking hell. - No. - So you can't end your brain? - Yeah. - Nice. Real good. No, I have, no, we're pals. You know, we talk about shit. We talk about girls. We talk about dates. We talk about Italy. He's just Italian. But then I'm not like, it's like me... It's like, it's like asking a pal. To say, when he's washing your hair, I think the washing is already unnecessary. But he was like, would you like a head massage? He's not Russian. In my view, when I spend up to an haircut, it's the whole shindig. I'm getting the Prosecco. I'm getting... - You get the Prosecco? - Yeah. - I'm mid-word, so I have got a coffee. I have got a coffee before. - And yeah, I just treat it as an hour. - Yeah, and I would. - For me time. - You know what I'm like? I can't, I can't enjoy pampering in that level. - I thought I couldn't. - I would pay more to... - If I had to have a head massage, I'd pay five pounds extra to not have the head massage. - The haircut said me well, I'm gonna, I'm in between headdresses now. I don't know if I'll go back. There's a chance I will, before maybe a bigger, a big match, a big occasion, maybe all. - You'll go back to Lorenzo. - Maybe, or maybe for like a tree, or does that not already hold? - Like that doesn't track. You don't. You've got a bit of a relationship with a hairdresser. - Yeah, it's true. - Because you wanna be like, it's only, he's killed it the last two times because he knows now, we've got to a place of mutual communication. - Yeah. - 'Cause you go, I want this and they go, well, you can't do that because you've got this hair. And then you go, well, can I do this? And we go, well, how about this? And then they know you. - I'm just going to go in with the laminated picture of David Beckham. (laughing) - Or just saying all those hairdressers is pointing to that one, please, with the fucking sticky up and the number seven, please. (laughing) - Yeah, those are fucking hilarious. Because they're always so outdated. The haircuts that they've gone, those barbers, they've got it. It's like, there's no modern hairstyles there. It's all like, everything's just sharp lines and really razor cut stuff. - I'm a boy. - Yeah, look at me. Look at my sharp hair. - It's just normally just like six normal dudes David Beckham. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ronaldo is, yeah, it's football players, really. I had a big moment, which you're, (sighing) I did my first ever text into LBCs. (laughing) So, I can read out. - Yeah. - I just felt compelled for some reason. I have no idea why it wasn't a topic I particularly cared about. But it was also just to test it out. 'Cause I often listen to LBC in the morning when I start work, Nick Ferrari. You know, I disagree with him on a lot of things, but we can find some coming around and that's okay. I turn off for James O'Brien, he's unstoppable. - Still? - 'Cause I agree with him the most, but the way he presents it, I can't agree with. It makes me wanna be more right-wing. - Sure. - But is James O'Brien come on during your LBC listening time? - I turn off when he comes on. - Sure. - I think he comes on at 11, yeah. - Like a right-wing round. - Go get LBC fan. - You'll listen to Ferrari, it's like, "This is Drew, don't listen to me." - This is a tough one. - How about him with his nonsense again? Off he goes. No, he's just the worst man I've ever heard in my life. The more I hear him, the more I've just come. - He's Hitler. - I despise him. He is, get out the thing. - So they were having the debate, is why am I getting involved? One, I kind of wanted to see, 'cause I'm gonna do more now, just 'cause the chance had been read out, 'cause then I can record it, and then we can all listen to him being like Andrew from my land and said this. For some reason, I decided to text in for this debate. They were debating about I think a couple of school children and had been sent home because their hair was dyed or something. So there was a big debate about whether, you know, - The rules suggest Lorenzo, that's a great option. - Yeah, I said, "Well, the thing is, "it's a great barber, wrong end of the country." But I would say, it was about, it was like, you know, rules of rules, they were cool as coming and going. Rules of rules and they're there for reason. You gotta abide by the rules. And that was what Nick was saying. It was like, rules of rules, rules of rules. - And I said-- - And usually you agree with Nick. - No I don't. - It's pressing to kill our children. - No I don't. - I said thus, we're not debating whether rules should be adhered to at school, because of course that's a yes. We're debating the rule itself. And these rules are unnecessary. Brackets, of course, they were saying that hair colour was distracting of a student. So I was like, shut a Nick Ferrari was saying that. I was like, you're a seasoned broadcaster. Don't be saying that blue hair means that people can't focus in maths, right? And I went, of course hair colour does a distract and limits children's self expression. Dash, Andrew from my land. - Did it get read out? - Nope. - That's a shame. - I gotta keep texting. - I think you should keep texting. - I will keep texting. - I think it'll be such a thrill. - We know a producer on the show. I don't, he now, he's kind of moved up, I think. But, Henry. - Well, you didn't even do some dirty deals to try and get your messages read out. - Yeah. - Oh, do you wanna come on the show? - No. - No. - I want to buy messages to be read out. - One of my messages to be read out is like, yeah, yes. - Would you have a call in? - Nah. - 'Cause I don't think that's a high bar to get a beer cooler in on LBC. Seemingly, it's almost such a low bar, it's quite hard to stick down on it. - When you listen to it enough, you realize it's actually the same people calling in. There's just a convey about of the same people. They know, like, Nick will know this one guy. - Well, there's probably people who are just exceptional value, right? There's people who are like, this is, this guy's just got, he just shits gold. - This boy. - Yeah, I guess so. It's more than just like... - He's like in for breakfast 'cause he thinks our fish are too big. - Yeah, let's get him on the phone and learn. That's true to an extent, but it's also just the same people calling in because they've just got an opinion on everything. And they're clearly, I don't know what they're doing all that time in the morning, but most of their attention is dedicated to listening to LBC. - I think he's getting on LBC. He seems everyone's going this high. - It's a good way to start your morning for the Ferrari. - Well, it's like a coffee, isn't it? - Yeah, it is. - It's just like slap bang. I've lived about transgender people reading. - Yeah, well, folks, the children. - Pretty much. It's kind of them. - Damn! - Damn! - Well, that's the thing 'cause, as I say, I'm more aligned with James O'Brien's thoughts, but he's a noobed, which is why it's fun to listen to Nick 'cause I like him, but I disagree with him a lot. So then, yeah. - It's quite nice to disagree with someone. - It's nice to disagree. 'Cause then you can send a text in and see what happens. So you never know, watch out. - We're gonna keep this going 'cause we can potentially have Andrew's LBC corner. - Are we trying to see? - How many texts can I get in? If we could get soundbites. - If we get soundbites. - 'Cause we can. - They're all available. - They're all available retrospectively, aren't they? Great. Yeah, Andrew from Ireland says this. I'm good at right. I will text about every topic until I get on, essentially. 'Cause I'm bound to get on at some point. I just can't be bothered to call. I don't wanna lie, actually talk to Nick. I think that'll be. I think I'd crumble. - Yeah. - I'd crumble under the pressure. - My sister got married this weekend. And it was. - Friend of the pod. - Friend of the pod, Luke Jiggles, so shout out. And it was only my second wedding I've ever been to. I had emceeing duties, I had to do a speech. I was very, very nervous for the speech. - Why? - Well, because, what I try to do, because as I've seen hearing other stories of people having speeches at wedding, it does just ruin your entire day until you. - Exactly. - That's what I don't like. - That's what I thought. - So I made a commitment with myself that I was only gonna do three hours of stress. So I just didn't think about it until three hours before. - That's a good way to do it. - I mean, I kind of, I wrote it quite last minute. - That's what I think about my wedding as well, isn't it? - It wasn't a proper speech, it was on the day before, it was a casual one, right? - The wedding dinner. - The drinks. - The wedding reception, the dinner. - No, no, 'cause it was over a weekend. - It was over a weekend. - The rehearsal dinner, that's what it's called. - Is that what it's called? - I mean, I guess it was this one's, I don't know how traditional this wedding was, 'cause things I've never been to weddings before. - Did you have a dinner the night before the wedding? - Yeah, it was a pizza. - Rehearsal dinner. - Rehearsal dinner. - Pizza out of a van? - Rehearsal dinner. - Sure. - Did you do a speech? - Yeah. - Rehearsal dinner. - And I guess I was stressed because everyone's just gonna think it's gonna be good because-- - Yeah, you got pressure. - Everyone's coming up to me saying-- - Can't wait for your speech. - This is probably, this is just any other day for you, isn't it? No, it's not actually. - No, it's really emotional. - This is 10 minutes of new material that I'm trying out here, I could very easily bomb. - I could ruin the wedding. - Yeah, so I just think that, 'cause I think a lot of people, they've never done public speaking before, a huge amount of the sweetness is them overcoming that fear to try and say something sweet and earnest. Whereas I wouldn't be given that kind of credence. - The sweetness. - Well, it's just like, you know, you see someone who's never done public speaking before. - Oh, I see, yes. - They stand up, they're brave just for the-- - You had the barber set high. - Yeah, but then as soon as I started, I was like, actually, it's the easiest kid in the world. People actually really wanted to do what? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - It was actually pretty easy in the end. - Yeah, any joke highlights? - Well, a lot of it was, the thing is, it's personal stories about my sister in front of a crowd. So it's like the niche is, it was just doing observational material about my sister in front of people who do all those stuff. So it's, it was all just-- - It is a dream gig, absolutely. - In jokes, you know, I talked to my sister's Krabby Claus, which is, I think now, look back on as a form of stimming. 'Cause because he's my only sister, I have nothing to compare it to. - And you're trying to bring the material now to the wider audience. - No, I was trying to explain, you were telling me, you asked me for one joke. - Yeah, no, please, go. - And I guess there's not a joke, it's just a ridiculous thing she does. When she used to get excited, she used to do something called Krabby Claus, right? Where she would go, this high pitch squeal, eyes would go cross-eyed and she's not going like this. (screaming) - Right. - Right, yeah, terrifying. - I just thought that was how women dealt with stress. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And it took me a while just to realise how fucking mad it was. - Yeah, yeah. - And I guess it was, that is what stimming is. - Is that what, I don't want to go back into stimming. - And then the next day, my dad did the speeches, he was nervous as well, and basically everyone was very excited for my dad's speech 'cause it could have been absolutely ballistic, right? - Yeah. - He could often not read a room. - Really? - Yes. - And to be honest, I think because he was quite concerned about fucking up, he actually played it quite safe. - Did he go to the middle ground? - He went for the middle ground. - If I was there, would I have been disappointed? - It would have been a bit disappointed. - No, there was a couple of highlights 'cause yeah, there's a couple of highlights. I mean, he-- - I mean, it's so exciting. - He says of his speech as being written by chat GBT, or like, how do you structure a perfect wedding speech, chat GBT, and he used that as a structuring thing? But he never said chat GBT once. And he said, "Chatchijingping, chat jamping chong." Like, you just couldn't say it, and he kept going back and he never got it right once. - Was there confusion as to what was going on? Was it, do people get that it was chat GBT? - Yeah, so I think they did. - I think he just, I don't think anyone thought Gigi Ping wrote his speech. - I think that's fair to say. - He did a quote from Warren Buffett about relationships. - Sincerely? - Sort of. - Good. - It was the, his advice for a long marriage is low expectations. - Yeah. - And then he was saying that we'll fucked up. - Pretty much our expectations. - Kind of our tag line. - It was very good. It was in this old country state, right? And I guess this is quite a me thing to do, but I obviously won on the Wikipedia of this state. - Of course. - Of course. - If you were an old country state. - Did you, did you not say your emotional about the country state? - You'd be talking about your sister's wedding for the whole time, but it's so you start talking about architecture in the countryside. - And I found some interesting things. The main thing was that apparently on the ground, it had the best diversity/geographical scientific interest quality of lichen. You know what lichen is? It's basically Moss on a rock, right? - Tennis player. Moss on a rock. Oh yeah, that's pretty, I suppose. - And for people who know about stuff, it's important stuff. - Is that, that's where, is that your take on that? For people that know about stuff, it's important stuff. - Yeah, well, people always talk about like, - Is it a bio-diverse or something like that? - Did you find much lichen? - I found a great, there was lots of great lichen, but no one at the wedding was as interested in looking for lichen as well. - They were interested in the two people getting married. (laughing) - But I guess, that's what I realized like myself is like, yeah, I have no interest in lichen. - Right. - But someone told me. - It said, not only is it the best spot in Europe, it's one of the best in the world, right? - Yeah. - And if anything is the best in the world, then that's gonna be my personality for the time I'm there, right? - Yeah, I suppose so. - When in Rome. - Did you bring lichen up in your speech? - I didn't bring it up in my speech, 'cause I only found out about lichen after my speech. But it was, the last two days were very like and heavy. I was really like. - Yeah. - I thought people would be more interested in lichen, 'cause it's like. - The thing is, when-- - I'm not a lichen guy, but if you're in the best lichen place in the world, get into lichen, it's kind of my view. Would you get into lichen if you're in the best lichen place in the world? - Depends. (laughing) - If I was there for my sister's wedding, no. It's not that because I'm gonna be caught up in the moment for three days. Don't get me wrong. I'm not being like. - Do that some lichen time. - You know some lichen time. - I am, but like the majority, like weddings, there's food, there's booze, there's people to talk to, there's dancing, there's music. I think I'm gonna take all of those above lichen, if I'm honest. I don't think-- - But it's the best lichen in the world. What are you ever gonna have that? - But you have no lichen to compare it to. - It's true. - It fell on deaf ears. - It's true, it's true. - And maybe you're regret not knowing more about lichen 'cause I thought, if I knew more, maybe I could really appreciate it even more. - Were you just staring at lichen being like, "Nothing." - It's not. - But I was more trying to log. - You fucking made me action. - I'm trying to log the lichen in my head so that maybe later I'll learn about lichen. - Yeah. - And I'll be like, "Well." - Well more I can go back to the old wank. (laughing) - It's a false memory. It's a false lichen memory. - The groom lost his ring immediately when he went in the sea the next day. - Immediately. - Oh my God. And-- - Did you find it? - The attitude that my sister had had, which I think is a great attitude as well, maybe a live-less we could bring into the BGW manifesto, all the 15 commandments, right? - We've got one thus far. (laughing) Low expectations. - Which was that, for something like this, she was like, "I'm not gonna let anything "stop me having a great time." - Yeah. - Right, and I think that, if you have something like a birthday or a wedding, it's actually-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - 'Cause there's a lot of things that did go wrong and just-- - But they're gonna go wrong. - If you're like, committed that you're gonna have a good time stubbornly. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - That is, and it meant that it kind of kept the whole-- - 'Cause things are getting going. - It's impossible for things not to go wrong over three days. - You know, it rained for basically the whole three days and it just-- - Yeah. - But we were throwing in the sea and because of how cold it was, Will's shrunk and he dropped the ring and that was quite an intense time. 'Cause it was like-- - Is everyone splashing about? - Well, everyone was like, okay, we've got this attitude of no matter what, we're gonna have a great time. But that is kind of truly heartbreaking. - Vroom lost ring. - It's pretty bad. - It was a family heirloom. - Yeah, no. - Did you find it? - Well, we looked for 40 minutes. Everyone was taking-- - In the sea. - Well, it was, yeah, so everyone who went goggles on just taking turns going down. Luckily, you know, the groom's family who are quite a practical bunch. - Yeah. - And they're very into scuba diving and stuff. - Oh, that's a miracle to be honest with that. - They didn't have scuba diving gear. They had goggles, but they know their way around a sea bed. - Is that gonna move with the tidal sink to the floor? - Luckily, there wasn't much for current. - Sure. - But you couldn't feel around. You had to look at the bottom. - Well, not like that. (laughing) - It was probably crab clawing. - And then his brother, half an hour of looking, found it. - Yeah, that's huge. It was really-- - It was not really being there for that moment, because I would have done everything in my power to find it. I would have passed out a hole in my breath, 'cause I can't think of anything better than going. (laughing) - Yeah, it was pretty much a global. - But they found it. Well, that's good. - They found it, yeah. I still think it was an extraordinary amount of luck, even though they were good at looking for that sort of thing. I think that-- - Well, we keep it in sweat zone. - Well, it's definitely gone. - Yeah, it was definitely gone. - Yeah, you were too busy looking at the lichen. (laughing) Forget the ring, look at this! There's a slightly rare plant over here. - Right, you'll all have seen, I've, you know, you see it on TikTok, I guess. Little clips of fat people eating lots of food. So I believe that's called muck banging, especially in South Korea, a video, especially one that is livestreamed that features a person eating a large quantity of food and addressing the audience. She is, in a sentence, she is eating two pounds of lobster in this muck bang. So that's what muck bang is. You would all have seen the videos, there's sort of like a green screen behind it and they just eat crazy amounts of food. People have died from it and she wants to deserve it. But there was this, a famous muck banger. Nikocado avocado, it's a good name. - It's free. - So good name. So he's a famous muck banger and he's fat like this picture that's coming up on the screen now. (laughing) And you'd expect a muck banger to be overweight, right? - He's always hoped so. No, you don't want to do it, you know. There's some very skinny muck bangers anyway. - Yeah, but anyway, so he was fat. He's fat and there was this whole thing. There's this whole thing because he's, you know, he's eating pounds of pork on videos every day. So what he did, which I'm not saying is an interesting kind of, but I think it doesn't, it's not doing, look at it, it's just obscene. It's not doing what he thinks he's doing. So he's, he obviously gets loads of shit in the comments. You know, big old piece of fat, so stop eating so much. - You just turned off. The comments are turned off, brilliant. - I see why it would come. - I see why, yeah. You know, and that's just pulling out from my head. He's going to obviously a lot of online hate, you know, but then again, I'm not sure how much online positivity these muck bangers should really get. But, so then he's, he's been posting regularly, he's been posting for regularly, for weeks or stuff. I've dived into this story. I wasn't like, I'm not like a Nick Co-Ado avocado fan. They haven't been following the story for long. But he posted a video like last week doing like this. It was kind of cool, the reveal kind of thing. But then he was just skinny. He'd lost all the weight. And he was saying how this is, he's bait what he'd done is he'd recorded two years, he'd been posting, older content for like two years whilst he lost the weight. Ready for this big reveal. And then he was like, this is the greatest social experiment of all time. And like, 'cause I'm the villain. And I was a bit like, well, you just didn't show us you, like you're posting stuff on the internet. Maybe there's a certain thing about the truth on the internet, perhaps. But it's also like, well, you've just like, that's what he was like. But he's like, I got away with it. I am now not fat anymore. But all he did was just like back date videos and then got skinny. And then he was like, this is the greatest social. (both laughing) Yeah, exactly. But then we just get really fat. But I don't know, people are, I guess, it's a kind of interesting thing to do, I suppose. But he was, he's been saying that he's like, the truth was in front of you the entire time. No, it wasn't. It wasn't in front of us. It wasn't, you've deceived people. And then you're like, ha ha, I wasn't fat. I was actually getting skinny. It was like, why would anyone presume you were getting skinny when you're posting videos of you being fat? So does he say it is a great clap back to the people calling him a big old? Yeah. But it was like, but- But no, they're not gonna- Ah! But yeah, but do you know what I mean? I don't see why it's such a big reveal. I guess it's a little bit of a- It's a cool reveal. It's a little bit of a poem, right? Is it? You know, you're a fucking fat piece of shit. Look, I don't even- Oh my, bang! Well, now! Yeah, but I don't condone any kind of internet hate whatsoever, right? But the people that are calling him fat will be like, yeah, well, you were fat when I called you fat. I'm not talking about old you. I'm talking about when you were fat. You're skinny now, cool. I won't call you fat anymore. What's your point? I didn't know, why was I supposed to know that you were just pretending to be fat for two years? How am I meant to know that? I called you fat because you were fat. You're not fat anymore. In a way, they've won. They could be like, good. Would you say the perfect crime? I think the perfect crime. I think the perfect crime. I just don't, I've been trying to work out what his points because it kills its social experiment. The thing I guess you could say, you know, don't not everything on the internet is true. I was like, sure. Well, he's got a Patreon as well. For like, exclusive content. And I feel he's posting two-hour muck bangs and I just don't know who- You know, we have Patreon content here for more of this, I guess. But I don't know who's two-hour's through him. And I've been lying. I need another hour of this. He's going to do Chick-fil-A next. Fucking cares. Well, Beebe watches a lot of muck bangs. What? I guess she doesn't watch proper muck bangs. She likes the moral kind of devastating emotional stuff. So there's TikTok. There's girls who basically stuff from binge eating. And I think Beebe has a warped fascination with binge eating. You know? This is dark, though. Yeah, it's not light. That's, it wasn't a pun about white. And it's more like kind of girls who are binge eating. For some reason filming it, kind of in tears. Muck banging. I guess it's straight to TikTok. So they'll hold up to the camera. They're all like, what I eat in a day. That's what she loves. The kind of- It's gross. It's gross out. It's gross out. Or like someone, yeah. Where it's just loads of girls showing. And then I eat this, then I eat this. And then they feel awful. And they hate it. If I'm honest. Yeah. Look, as I said, I'm going to have to say it again, I don't condone any kind of internet. But this kind of shit I get, I get why you'd get hate. Because what are the, what's going on? They're killing themselves for no, for no real creative purpose. Well, I think you've got quite a bit of money. You make a lot of money. Sure. But they're making the internet worse whilst killing themselves. I think that's the only fair place where you could be like, stop doing this. This is a bad idea. Yeah. But I guess, I guess you like movie stars who's, who's smoking cigarettes? I don't like movie stars who do TikToks about how many cigarettes they smoke in a day. It's very different. That's my getting sense. And at least movie stars acting films. Oh, it's gonna be that. Yeah. Whatever. Fuck you. I don't, I don't understand it. And I, that's the one part of the internet where I'm, well, you know, I'm sure there's far more. But that's one where I'm like, you know, like, I kind of, I kind of, I kind of, you know, I kind of get it. I think people might actually be looking out for someone in there be like, you've got to stop doing this. You're going to kill yourself. People have died from it. Yeah. Yeah. But I do. I would just chop muck bang on a pile with loads of other shit. Yeah. Like. Bronies. What's that? So I watched an hour and 45 explain a video by this kind of very smart girl. What's a fucking Bronies Juliet Nicholson? Yes. So it's now in 10 minutes. Do you know her? Did she get in controversy? Well, I don't know. She's very smart, but she does like deep dives where she explains internet subconscious with a way that very few people have that much knowledge, basically. Is she an, is she a pony girl? Was this? She's an ego, but she's, for this episode, she's talking about her time as being in the Brody community. What's a, what's a Brony? So a Brony is an adult, no, an adult fan of the cartoon, my little pony. Right. And she tracks the whole history. Yeah. And it is fascinating. It kind of like started in 2010 and basically fizzled out in 2020 and it was about for 10 years. There was a real truly internet subculture that is so of this time. It couldn't happen anywhere else. Yeah. And it's basically, ironically, on 4chan, people would boast news about my little pony and slowly that irony melted away and it became, and as those people got older and older, it became, and then it got infused with a lot of sexual stuff as well. And suddenly, the, at BronyCon, they'd have these huge, yeah, they've done an episode of that on like Bob's Burgers is a, yeah, pretty much, I don't think they mentioned it specifically, but it was horse people. It's absolutely fascinating. And there's a lot, what's interesting as well as these older guys, not, they're watching a, a cartoon made for little girls, right? But there's a lot of sexism in Brody community, like they don't really view, they don't really view female fans as like real, like the men are in charge of even in this. It's mainly men. Oh god. It's mainly men. Even with this. And they kind of like talk down to women as not really know what they're talking about. Yeah. They don't really get it, you know. Man, man, the fucking, the fucking one is a lot of homophobia because there's a big. There's a homophobe in the ramp in the Brony community. Yeah, because the Brony's a really, there's a real insecurity that people might think that they gave because they watched. I wonder why. The girls child dressed up as a magical horse. It's so specific. Look, this is what, at the end of BronyCon, it's just all fucking autistic older dudes. Well, this part of the essay is called gay, gay, broonies. Oh, right. So there is a thing. And there's music. There's Brony, there's Brony and they play huge live gigs at BronyCon, and people will lose their mind. They're all singing the words. Is it like an oasis gig? What is going on? It's fucking crazy. I don't, I don't. Yeah. I had a real sexual element, so BronyCon, there's all these stalls people are selling, like Brony, memorabilia or like, just stuff, you know, it had this whole economy around it. Nearly everyone was selling Brony, like girlfriend pillows. So it's kind of like, it would be like a Brony with tits and ass as a giant pillow. I don't like this. So it's like a, it's like a, it's like a, my little pony pillow to be hummed by an older man. And in all honesty, in all honesty, do, do we think that anyone of a sound mind can be a Brony? So she told us about- And that's a genuine question. There was a, she has quite an interview on it where it's like a, it's very human things. It's looking for, I'm focusing on the darker side of it because it's funnier, but there's, it's a sense of community. It says a purpose. My little pony. Yeah. A friend of my little pony that's planning a place is to find community and purpose. Well, there, for a lot of people, they're on. And yes, there's a high amount of neurodivergent. Sure. There's, you know, and it's, yeah, it's for people who are very lonely, who find the way to come together. Yeah. And I know there is quite, I think I found a lot of it quite, it's, it was a bit, there's a lot of them. So there's going to be darker size to it. But I did find it quite, it touched them all, they're basic human things. I guess a lot of them are lonely, they go on the internet, they end up being forced. And then they end up, I reckon like, the thing is it doesn't, they won't start with a, I really like this, my little pony cartoon. I wonder if there's other people who like it. It will be like, oh, that's a community that seems to have people like me in there. So I'm going to get into my little pony. Yeah. And then the horse stuff seems to be a little bit irrelevant, weirdly. Yeah. It's just about, you know, having your own thing, having your own language, feeling safe. No. So there was a documentary made about it and she clapped back at that documentary because it basically just was very patronising about the autistic people who, you know, need something to do when it's actually more than that. There's a deeper side to it, I'm sure. Yeah. A lot of it is guys. And then I imagine there's a, there's a, there's a couple of pedos in there. I'm sure. Horsepedos. Um, but when I first properly learned about Muck Bang was when I watched the Netflix show, which is just out now called The Influencer and you'll love it. It's basically like physical 100, right? Is it reality? It's a Korean reality game show. I'm in. Yeah. So it influences flaunt their skills to strategically draw the attention in the high stakes social survival game. So it's, they get all different types of input as to anyone who's got like an internet presence or, and then they're on the ultimate one. Yeah. And then you get, they'll be set up. Yeah. It's all the first episode. All the tech, well, the test likes. So the first test was, um, to get likes and dislikes, right? And this is quite fun. And then I don't want to, I can ruin the first one. You can, you can ruin this for me. Yeah. Where, and it, they all thought it was to get the most likes. We all talk each other trying to negotiate lights. I think we get like here, uh, and then one of the people, it's only the people in the room. It's not over to the public. Yeah. This is within within the room. Yeah. So it's a popularity contest. And everyone around their neck has how many followers they've got. Right. So there's some people with 11 million followers. There's some people would. To be honest, we have 200,000 on tick, there's a lot of people on tick to where like 40,000. So we could be. We could have been on the, the, if we were Korean, we could have been eligible for the insurance season two, but not understanding of what they're saying is being like, what, what we done sharing a thing as well, we are like, but then one of them cracked during the middle of it, that it wasn't just by getting liked. It was about getting both because it's about attention, all prices, good press, both likes and dislikes. They were all trying to go for likes first lesson, but yeah. So it was a very like lesson, and then one of them, we're not, they're sitting as bad for all of himself. What do we learn? Everything and nothing at the same time. Well, is it, is it, I guess, because of social media, we're in a sort of like a tension economy, where it's all, it's all about, I mean, if we got off our phones more. If we looked into the forest and find like in the further we remove ourselves from ourselves, the distance will become greater to the true sense and reality of our world. Yeah. That's a wiggle time for you. Yeah. That's a perfect wrap up. Sorry. You shouldn't have said anything. Fuck you. Bye. Bye. (upbeat music)