The Season of Self Love

Rebuilding Self-Worth After Betrayal with Dr. Will Washington

Welcome back to The Season of Self-Love podcast! I’m your host, Nyomi Banks, and today, we continue our powerful series on Healing Beyond Betrayal. In this episode, we’re diving deep into the strategies for rebuilding self-worth after experiencing betrayal.Joining me is our resident therapist, Dr. Will Washington of Washington Wellness Institute, who specializes in trauma, self-worth, and the journey to healing. Together, we'll explore why self-worth is so deeply impacted by betrayal and discuss practical strategies to restore it. Dr. Will also leads us through a guided meditation to help you center yourself and reclaim your sense of worth.This episode is filled with heartfelt discussions, personal stories, and actionable advice to support you on your healing journey. Whether you're dealing with recent betrayal or still healing old wounds, this conversation offers valuable insights and encouragement.🌟 Tune in to gain the tools you need to rebuild your self-worth and move forward with strength and confidence.

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Duration:: 1h 4m
Broadcast on:: 06 Sep 2024
Audio Format:: mp3

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Plus extra ways to save, like digital coupons worth over $600 each week and up to $1 off per gallon at the pump with points. So you can get big flavors and big savings, King Supers, fresh for everyone, fuel restrictions apply. Welcome to the season of self-love, your daily dose of inspiration and encouragement. I'm your host Naomi Banks, and I am thrilled to be here with you today. This podcast is brought to you by Ags Naomi and Elevate Me, Self-Discovery. Are you ready to elevate your mindset and embrace the power of self-love? Or have you come to the right place? Each day we'll dive into topics that will empower and inspire you on your journey towards self-discovery and personal growth. Whether you're looking to cultivate healthy relationships, boost your confidence or find balance in your life, this podcast is here to support your every step worth of life. We believe that self-love is the foundation of living and for feel and joy for life, and together we explore practical tips and insightful interviews and transformative stories that will leave you feeling inspired and lonely. So join me Monday through Friday as we embark on the daily adventure of self-love. Tune into the Season of Self-Love podcast to start your day on a positive note and discover the limitless potential within yourself. Hey, welcome back to the Season of Self-Love podcast. I am your host Naomi Banks, and I am here to guide you to another journey of healing and empowerment. But this week we continue our series on healing beyond the trail. And today we are diving deep into strategies for rebuilding self-worth at the Experiencing Betrayal. But joining us today is Dr. Will Washington. You know who he is. He's our resident therapist who specializes in all of that, the trauma, the self-worth, everything there and above. And we're going to welcome him back as soon as we take a quick break. Take a quick break and we're going to come back, and Dr. Will is going to help us on rebuilding our strategies for healing beyond the trail, all right? It's your gruddy goddess, Naomi Banks, here all this season of self-love podcast, and we'll be right back. Washington Wells Institute focuses on healing always. For me, if I look good, then I feel good. If I feel good, then I share the good. If I share the good, then I celebrate the good. If I celebrate the good, then I live the good. So I can be paid to be my greatest. But I have to learn the good to be the good. So, what does it take to be the greatest? It's as simple as a free 15-minute consultation. Be kind to yourself and heal always. What are some common barriers that prevent people from expressing? Hey, it's your gruddy goddess, Naomi Banks, here from this season of self-love podcast. Yeah, I would say remorse. So, shame and guilt is a very divided emotional. Now, these are one of the many amazing conversations that we have every day on Monday through Friday, right here, on the season of self-love podcast with myself, Naomi Banks, as well as our resident therapist, Dr. Will Washington Up, Washington Wellness Institute. Combine the reality of our relationship. Combine. A lot of times, we're afraid of how people look at us. And so that compassion can't enter us. You can hit us all the website at the season of self-lovepodcast.com. I'm going to do this with a true word. Is it the...? Alright, well, welcome back to the season of self-love podcast. I am your host, Naomi Banks. Today, we're talking about strategies for rebuilding self-worth after experiencing the trail. And we have our resident therapist, Dr. Will. Hey, Dr. Will. Welcome back. It's so wonderful to be back. I am elated and excited right now. See, there it is. I'm elated. There we go! Alliteration. That's my thing. I love alliteration. I love it, I love it, I love it. Alright, guys, you know, before we start to take... We're going to take this moment to center ourselves with the short guided meditation where you are, I just invite you to find a very comfortable position. I want you to close your eyes. And just get ready. Begin my finding, comfortable position. Are this it or laying down? I want you to close your eyes and gently take a deep breath in through your nose, filling your lungs completely. I want you to hold it for just one moment. Now exhale slowly through your mouth, releasing any tension that you might be holding on to. I want you to inhale again, deeply. Feel your chest rise. Hold. Now exhale. Letting go of any distractions or worries. Allow your breath to find this natural rhythm. Now as you breathe, imagine a warm golden light surrounding you, bringing comfort and safety with each inhale. It draws in this light. This filling, this filling that fills you with love and strength. Now with each exhale, release any feelings of doubt or fear. Now repeat slightly to yourself. I am worthy. I am enough. I want you to take one final deep breath in. Slowly let it out. And when you are ready, gently open your eyes and feel grounded and centered as we dive into today's topic. All right, my beautiful people, thank you for joining me on that nice little guided meditation right there. If you're new here to the season of self-love podcast, there's something we do every day, Monday through Friday, here just to help center and ground us before we get into the topic in hand. I know I'm feeling more centered. How about yourself, Dr. Will? I feel really good. I feel really good. Yeah. Light on. I was like, this is nice. I'm going to do some more light in here. It feels really nice. All right. So I'm glad that we are feeling more centered. We'll get ready to talk about the building self-worth post betrayal. So Dr. Will, could you start by explaining why self-worth is so impacted by betrayal? Because self-worth is so impacted by betrayal because what we thought we were, who we thought we were, what we thought this was, what we hoped this was, what we believe this to be is no longer the same value that it started with. And we recognize how lack of control that we had or we thought we had, right? The comfort and security has been taken from us. So self-worth, it makes you question the power that you trusted in the thing that you went through. And so, betrayal can really turn our self-worth into doubt or uncertainty or ambivalence, right? That uncertainty to go left or right, you just don't know how to take ownership back to yourself. So self-worth can really be challenged because of betrayal. Right. So, because a lot of people don't know about self-worth, honestly. You know, we say this word, but what is it? It sounds good. Right. It sounds good. So how do we know? We just go with betrayal. Just did that shit or let it just did that, you know, what are the signs for someone that who's just been going through betrayal? How do we know that our self-worth is shaken? And what is that? What does that feel like? What science do we know that our self-worth has been shaken? Yeah. You actually go away from your own integrity, right? Your character changes. You might open yourself up to things that you wouldn't do normally. When standards change, your intentions may change. You might choose convenience over quality of life. You might end up shutting out other people or yourself from the things that you actually deserve to experience. You even sometimes count yourself out before you even count yourself in. You start doing a lot of external self-influiting behaviors that cause you to actually take away from things that made you so promising. And that did give you the confidence to be who you've always been. Right. Yeah. You know, it's funny that you said that when I'm thinking about the very first betrayal that I, as an adult, let me say as an adult because the very first betrayal that I feel that came came from the sense of abandonment for me. But we're going to go past that. We're going to go to the adulthood. And when you were talking about knowing of being shaken, your self worth being shaken. And I remember when my first husband had cheated on me, and I'll laugh at that. Because instead of me just leaving the situation, I'm like, okay, I'm about to help you. I'm laughing now, but during that, this was, it was like pure chaos like that was going on, you know, and I just remember that I remember like I said, I would never do that. But then, like you just said, that my whole stuff where everything was shaking. So now I had to prove that I was more worthy than he was that I can do it and I can up him on this one and I can, you know, I can. And, you know, I'm just flicking. You know how I can do this because I told him you have to do it. I told him. Look, let me know what's happening. Don't let me back nobody else, but that didn't happen. So now I get ready to flip it on you and I get ready to show you to always don't make it the shame on me. But now I see what that was. If it's just me, my stuff was shaking. I had to prove something such a such a such and I can't blame him because I think we had a choice. Right. And in Baba's and betrayal, though, you start losing. When you go to the trail, you lose the feeling of options, which also is a form of losing self worth because if you were truly worthy, you know that you always have a choice. You always have an option. You always have opportunity to choose who you want to be. Yeah. Yeah. Owning a rental property sounds like a dream. Collect a rent and relax. That is until you realize how much work goes into getting it ready. 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We don't really know what we value. We usually just get into a relationship and we like how it's going. We like the way the field of vibes are right, the moments and the connection feels good. We don't really know what we value, right? And a lot of times we value how that person makes us feel. We never value who we were to be present to experience that, right? We never understand what made us who we are to actually experience how good that was. We don't think about it that way. And so you're looking at how do you internally see value, right? So what do you value about yourself, right? And then once you get through the actual value of yourself, then you've got to kind of put a price on it. This is where standards come into play. You know, no, you can't put a price on being honorable, but you can also understand that there's a standard. It has to be met. If I value the color red, I'm going to make sure I don't wear any shade that's outside of red. The moment I start looking at the color green, that's not, I can't bend that way. Or I have to say something before I do that. So you have to put a price on the value of the things that you do. And then you have to love it. You have to love it. A lot of us don't love the things we value. We just end up connecting or other people validate the things that we value. So, but we never put it for ourselves. That's why I love artists so much because artists take the time out to learn the craft, learn the value of music, learn the value of these things. And they get so into this that they, that, whether they play a $10 guitar or they play a $10,000 guitar, they still, it still sounds amazing to people that have not put the work in, right? So on the outside, they're still like, this is amazing. But for someone else that put another $10,000, you know, dollars into it, into the work, they would be like, oh, I can hear the difference. Right? Because they also put that love into it. So if you don't send the value, create the standard and put the love into it, we can't really get into self worth because a lot of the value, the validation is really internal reciprocity. It's internal reciprocity. What I do is within myself for myself because of myself, right? And a lot of times we lose that direction when we're experiencing post betrayal. Yeah. So let me ask you this. I'm about to go a little to the left a little bit. When getting into the relationship, so let's be very honest, we're getting into these relationships. And, and correct me if I'm wrong, follow me down this road. When you are in the relationship with someone and then say that that's some other, that other person does the betrayal to you. What I've been learning or what I've been hearing lately is that sometimes we attract those. That you know, like we're, what can you say? What's the word? Like we, we, we bring that energy that allows the people to know that we are. Available for the herd of. Attachments. So. For, for social purposes, right? It's kind of like when you watch somebody on social media and they always post pictures of themselves. And then you're like, they post a lot and they just go ghost and like, what happened? And then they pop back up and it's a whole different type of person. They got a whole life. They got a new kid. They got a dude, whatever it may be. But then they go away again and they're both back to posting pictures again. During that timeframe between those moments. People are watching and the thing is that people have always been watching. They just knew that you weren't going to pay attention to them because they knew you were focused on something else in your life. And so those people you attract aren't just because it's new. It's because they've always been watching you and they've been learning. They've been kind of praying, right? So I call it a vulturing where it's kind of like they just circle around. Close enough to know that close enough to watch you, but never close enough to know that you're a threat. Right. And that's, and so a lot of times you're also putting energy out that once again, because of self worth issues. You're not, you don't understand the value of your time. Right. And so a lot of times time is a resource used for limitation or application. That's principle three. Right. And so when you don't see that your time of being hurt is actually harming your own standards. You go for convenience rather than quality. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that that little attachment, those attachments can be really the attachments can be very deadly. Yeah. Mostly malignant as well. Yeah. All right. So let's talk about support. You know, a lot of times when you go through betrayal, some people keep it to themselves. Some people keep them to themselves. Some people tell the wrong people. And it gets around. One of the things that I have in my challenge is choosing the right people to be a support system to you. You know what I'm saying that can be there to help tell our listeners how important a support system is in this process. Yes. When I say it is imperative, it is essential, it is vital to your wellness. When you think about trauma, trauma doesn't happen alone. So that means that healing doesn't happen alone either. So when you go through something traumatic, it wasn't just you. It was you in a car, you in a person, place or thing. There's a relationship. Right. In some way, and so your healing has to also be in some way too. You're going to hear with a thing, a music, a person, whatever. You're going to need that support. And it's so important to do that. And that's one of the first things I ask people when they tell me their traumas, I say, well, who do you talk to outside of me? You know, and the people they choose are really, I'm not saying they're not good people, but they chose the convenience of people that were around rather than the quality of who was there. And it's really important to understand that if you do not have at least two people. I would say I have one person where I can say everything. And I have one person that I know is going to give me a direction because. I have to ask myself, why do I have this friend for this moment? What are they here for? And we never asked that. Why is that friend in your life? What are they here for? What are they supposed to listen to when you talk? Right? Because sometimes you just need to be, you need to hear yourself. Right. So yeah, having a support system is so vital and you have to ask yourself, what am I getting in this conversation with this person? It's so important. Yeah, it is. So let me share. Let me share a quick story with you with you all. And it's just with something that kind of it relates to just having a group of people or a support system around with me very brief. So, I'm trying to have some in my 20s. I was in my mid 20s. And I remember going through yet another incident with infidelity with infidelity. And the reason why I went back was because my family was very religious, very religious. They said once you married, there is no divorce because you know you can't get married again that that don't count. You know, so you chose him. This is what it is. And so you just got to make it work, you know, just period. But when you constantly feel that betrayal, you don't know what to do so I remember speaking to what one of my answers were actually too welcome. One of them have very successful relationship marriage. They both are my like my best friends and I remember city having a conversation with her. And I remember she is a woman who told me love my love, love myself more than I love myself. That means continue to keep loving on your self regardless to anything. Don't look for anybody to love on you. Just keep loving yourself. And in that wording with her telling me that is that I have to stop listening to those outside of me, whether if it was my grandmother, my mother, or whoever that I have to do was best for me in my healing process to go beyond that. And if I wanted to stop, then I have to stop showing up for that relationship. Does that make sense. And then that process, in that process, there is now a baby being conceived. You know, there's a baby just being conceived from this now after the fact so actually I was in my late twenties almost 30. And with this one, and when I tell this story, I'm like, for real, Naomi, with this one, I had to go get help to have a baby. And I was on bed rest the whole entire time. And it was a. They actually got to really ask me if I will abort the baby. And I was like, no, I'm going to go ahead and go through this whole thing because I knew that I would. What I tell you, I went through some shit with the dude. We went through counseling everything counseling and everything. And his whole thing was that I did not have a baby with him as the reaction. And I said I wasn't having a baby for we have to be married for 10 years, but he wanted a baby by me. So I figured, let's save the relationship. Let's go and save the marriage. We're going to do this. So let me go see what's going on with me. This is such a such and sure enough, it was me, you know, going on in. And I went through that I went through the shooting and my stomach with all of that, every. Then I remember phone calls. Cheating. Right in my face blasted. So I had made the decision. To abort the baby. I knew that I did not want to have another child and not be with the father. You understand what I'm saying? So I can bring this baby into this whole. You didn't want the cycle. Right. I didn't want that. And I was on my way to getting a divorce. I remember the day of me getting going. What are my friends? She met me there. My good girlfriend and her husband dropped me off. He's nowhere to be found. This ain't my boyfriend. This is my husband. And we said it made the decision that this is what we're going to do because we don't know what we're going to be at. It's making you sick. This is one of the options that the doctor gave you. So I made the decision to do it. So we're going to try to work that nowhere. Nowhere. Until I got there. So let me tell you, he came and he said, if I do that, that that will be the end of our relationship. And when I looked, it was just another sense of betrayal that came down because we had already made a decision on what it is on what we was going to do and work on. I remember getting in my car on my way to California. I was on my way to California. I took my girlfriend to the house to my house. She was going to stay for me the whole weekend. I've never done this before. I don't know, you know, this was one betrayal. This was against anything that I ever believed in. Anything that I ever believed in. And I remember sitting with my and talking with them about this. So in that moment, I had four people that were five, five people that I truly trust that was in my circle that really held me down during that whole time. I went through the trail. I went through shame. I went through being mad at myself because I knew I should go back. You know, like, I should like all of those things happen within that day. And then it was like, I found myself in a car when it picked up my oldest baby and driving. I don't know how I was getting there, but I was driving to California. I got all the way, I think to can't get key. Out in the booty. And my dad called me out of anybody, my dad called me and he said, what you doing, baby girl. I said, I'm on my way to California. He said, what's happened in California? He said, you got that record there? Yeah. I said, no, we just don't go. He said, who is we? I said, being my baby. We just, we just go. He said, no, you need to come on back here so I can talk to you because you got a lot of stuff that you need to do. And I'm like, no, I'm going. So I guess the word, I guess somebody told my dad what was happening. What was happening and I went. But then when I got back and I stopped and I heard everything my dad told me and I went back home. I went back to my mom's name and I sat there and my dad just told me, maybe that was meant to be. He showed you every car, everything that you needed to know, everything you needed to know. So now you have your closure. So walk, leave, leave. There is nothing else. You ain't got the tip, but tap with him. Go. He already showed you. He gave you the door when he said it. He gave me the door when I said it. But guess what? I still wasn't here. I still wasn't here from the betrayal. Fast forward six or seven months later. Owning a rental property sounds like a dream. Collect a rent and relax. That is until you realize how much work goes into getting it ready. First, you need to conduct market research to understand local rental trends and determine a competitive rent price. Then there's cleaning, staging, repairs, and hiring a professional photographer. Next, develop a marketing strategy. List the property on rental sites and schedule calendar showing. Oh, no, no, no, no. Sound complicated? Ranners Warehouse is here to take the hard work off your rental to-do list. Our job is complicated because it should be. We handle everything from marketing and showing your property to screening tenants and preparing the lease. Our best-in-class property management professionals take care of your property as if it were our own, from rent collection to maintenance coordination, all for one flat monthly fee. Go to Rannerswarehouse.com for a free rental analysis to find out how much your home can rent for. Or call 303-974-9444 to speak with a rent estate advisor today. Because from now on, the only thing you need on your to-do list is to call Rannerswarehouse. Every day, we rise, challenging ourselves to work for what we believe in. At U.S. Border Patrol, protecting our borders is more than a job. It's a calling. Agents answer the call, working together to keep our country and communities safe. If you're ready for a new mission, join U.S. Border Patrol and go beyond. Learn more at cpp.gov/careers. Me and my girlfriends go out. Listen to this. We go out. I got a little itch. Y'all know what that itch is. You know when you go to the club, right? You get a little horny and say, "Oh, I got nobody at home." You know what I'm saying? I'm just going to pick up no strangers. So I'm going to call somebody who I know who's going to give me something and do, do, do, do, do, do. And guess what happened? I got pregnant. I found out on Christmas Day. Wow. Merry Christmas. That was your present. Merry Christmas. Wow. That's amazing. Wow. And in this one, and I know I said a short story, but it's going to come back around to where I truly knew that it was time for me to move on. That whole pregnancy, I was literally, could not work, nothing. I was supposed to have my legs elevated at least 24 hours a day. Y'all go to the bathroom. That was the whole thing for me. Because I had fifth of a side of a face call that was filled. It was steady growing along within the fetus, you know, in fibroids, all at the same time. Wow. Yeah. So. Goodness. In this instance, he was still acting ass with a whole pregnancy. But again, I had my community around me that kept me sane and kept me grounded, just was holding me down. My grandma, everybody was just holding me down through this whole, this whole thing. And then the last draw, yet again, was I walked in on him. That's it. This is it. That's it. That's, that's three yards. You see it. Yeah. That was it. And I went to the hotel for two or three days. And in that hotel room, but I'm three or four days, I went through my hair. And I did not go back. Oh, you left it there. Like I'm not even mad at him. I said, thank you for my baby. After that, a few months later, I tried to file for the book and have been trying to do it for a while. And yeah. And yeah, that's it. But it took me a minute. Yeah. That's, that's. They always say like you either hear when you want to or when you get sick of yourself. Yeah. And I was sick of myself. Yeah. Yeah. And that's, and that's, and it's one of those things where. There are so many signs that were given in this world. Yeah. So many signs. And what you're talking about is that spiritual obedience. Yeah. When to recognize a sign, but then how to take heed to the sign. And a lot of times we don't have that discipline to look at and then trust that that sign is meant for me. Yeah. Right? Because usually it means there's a responsibility or a discipline that's supposed to happen in that. Yeah. And, and a lot, the only time you can ever get a reward is when you're disciplined. You don't get a reward for being motivated. You don't get a reward for having a standard. Yeah. You get a reward for being disciplined. Yeah. And, and so the fact that you had somebody, you could have stayed in, you could have stayed in their world. Right? But it would have never been your world. No. It would have never been your world. Never. Never. Wow. Never. Never. And when I stay, when I look back on it now, and even years ago when I look back on it, I just always think that I went through that. I really do because even when I sit down with my girls, girls, I can sit with them, not only as a mother, but as somebody to tell them, when you decide to get in a relationship, that's a responsibility that you have for that other person. Yeah. Yes. And woo. Ooh, that's a, he said it again. I like that again. When you in a relationship with someone else, you have a responsibility for that other person. You do. You do. You do. I'm telling you, a lot of people are not taught that. They're not. You're not taught that. We say self love is selfish. It is to a certain point. We ain't talking about just the care about yourself and not giving hell about nobody else. That's not what that means. You know, but you do have to care about. If you know you this way, and that person like that way, then you don't need to be together because there is no reason why we need to be in this relationship and you like. Hey, I like me. And we just, we what? Yes. And that's, I'm so glad you said that because I have a, I have a relationship. I have a new way of courting phase. We're like, you know, it's like the talking phase and all those stages. So I've created a new phase program with that. And we talk about how this compatibility, companionship, couplehood partnership, the marriage. And a lot of times we're in this companionship moment where it's like, well, if you play tag, I play tag, then we can play or you like tag and I like hide and go seek. We're not playing the same game, which means that it's never going to really work out, but we can have fun, but it's never going to work out. And we don't, we always forget that we are really not compatible with a lot of people. If you really know who you are, we have to see the signs of you not being compatible with people and trust that it's okay. Yeah. But a lot of us get so worried about being alone or lonely that we kind of once again, we remove our value. We change what the start standard is. And then we don't know how to put love into it. We just put passion, lust, excitement, these things that make us feel like we're alive. But then once it all settles, it's like, where do I have left? Right. And, you know, and it becomes an emotional liability or you become emotionally compromised. Yeah. Right. Well, you don't know why you even feel mad. Why do you even feel happy? Why do you even feel? Where is the feeling? And the only thing that actually makes you feel something is when you're in pain. Right. A lot of times we, we, we, we pain can create so much of life in us that we believe that our purpose is through our pain. Yeah. It's like, no, that's, that's not, that's not what that is. That doesn't give you a healthy residual. So that your story is, your story is amazing. That story is amazing. Right. Thank you for showing that. Right. But I want to say something about your, your pain is not your purpose. So we can look at it a different way. And I'm going to try to look around for a different way. When you're going through the pain and it's to look at it from a different perspective, especially when you're going through the healing process of it. And you're able to share the story of that pain. So you're giving it a description and a meaning to make it make sense for you that we all go through something in life. And so within that pain, that gift is the purpose that we find in it. So when it's said meaning, meaning the pain. This is the purpose. It's the gift and the pain that we have found in it. It's allowing just to be the pain. We have to look at every situation that we come to in life period. You know, even with you share with us a few days ago about the infidelity on your part. And that pain that you called, you also learned something from that pain. That eventually turned into part of your purpose. You understand what I'm saying? So many things. I see what you're saying. Do you see what I'm saying? So, and I just wanted to make sure that when we say this and people hold, I understand what that is because throughout even that part of my pain, I'm using it as my purpose. I am now a certified relationship coach. You understand what I'm saying? So we want to make sure that we are allowing people to find a gift in that pain. Find the gift in that trauma. Not just the victim of that trauma or the victim of that pain. Because when, you know, we hold on, we stay that victim. You become the abuser. And become the victor at the end of it. So when our pain purpose, we are now the victor of that victim that we want. Yes. I love that you said that. So a lot of times, but what will happen is I see people talk about their pain, but then they stop their story right there. So then they go back to the beginning of their pain again and they keep recycling and recycling their pain, never actually looking at it from the outside in, right? And being able to actually have the power to actually step outside of their pain to see that. Because even when we talk about legacy burdens, when you, the higher the legacy burden, they actually, you get legacy heirlooms. You get the wisdom. You get the awareness. You get the heirlooms of that burden. And usually the higher the burden, the higher the heirloom. And so a lot of times you have to dig through that. And so what I noticed is that people come to me stuck or still in their pain, because it's gotten too comfortable because it was so much, it was so much. It was, it was, it was lustful, right? It was very like, it just, it just gave so much life. And then like, well, who am I going to be after the pain? Some people, where it isn't bad. Have you seen people just walk around? And they justify how they treat other people because of their pain. It's like, no, that's not what this is. And your purpose doesn't feel like, your purpose doesn't feel like you need your pain, right? The pain, the story of your pain was, it was just like, it was like a Bible in itself. Just basic instructions before loving everyone, right? And loving yourself. And a lot of times we don't look at purpose as a way to love ourselves and others. 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